A/N: Phew! First of all, I apologise profoundly for the delay in getting this last part out. I've been battling a severe case of writer's block, and this story had to be dragged from me kicking and screaming. But here it is, and I hope you like it. I hope it's not disappointing, but please Read and Review, and let me know if it is. Thanks to everyone who reviewed to the first two parts, and I am really open to advice, so be brutally honest when you review again.
Disclaimer: I own none of this (excepting plot); J.K. Rowling does
turn
In retrospect, Harry wondered why he had done it. He sat in the Great Hall at one extreme end of the Gryffindor table. Down near the other end, Hermione and Ginny sat together, laughing like old friends. But Harry knew that they were more than that. The comments he heard around him suggested that others knew as well. Lavender Brown tutted disapprovingly, "Look at them...no decency...it's disgusting..." Several sixth-year Gryffindor girls, Ginny's roommates, agreed. Harry stared sheepishly at his hands. This is your doing, scolded the voice in his head, It's your own fault that you're alone. Harry tried to ignore the voice, but he knew it was right. But I was so angry, he argued, I wasn't thinking clearly, I couldn't have been expected to... His thoughts broke off as he caught sight of Ron. He waved automatically, and Ron nodded in acknowledgement. He then motioned towards Ginny and Hermione and shot Harry an apologetic glance. Harry sighed as Ron walked away and pulled up a chair next to Ginny. I should have known better, he thought, Ron's so true to his family. I never stood a chance. Harry remembered the night he found out. Even then, Ron had made it clear that his loyalty was to his sister first, to his friend second.
* * *
Back at the Burrow, five weeks earlier
Harry stormed up the stairs to the tiny bedroom he was sharing with Ron. He wrenched the door open, then slammed it closed, and kicked it wildly. Ron jumped out of his bed just as Harry kicked over a side table. Risking becoming Harry's next target, Ron approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Harry spun around furiously and glared at Ron. There was a moment where neither of them spoke. Harry stared into Ron's eyes, trying to read his expression. Was it pity, compassion, or perhaps guilt?
"You knew?" Harry could hardly believe it when Ron nodded his head, averting his eyes from his friend. "You knew!" He shouted, and Ron jumped, putting a finger to his own lips.
"Harry, please. You'll wake my mum."
"That's really the last thing on my mind right now," Harry said, but he did lower his voice, "How could you keep this from me? You're supposed to be my friend."
"You're my best friend, Harry. And Ginny is my sister, and I could never betray her."
"But you could betray me, right? You knew that she and Hermione..."
"No," Ron interrupted, "I didn't know about that until today. It only started last night. It's not like she's been cheating on you all summer or anything."
"Oh, that's terribly comforting, Ron." Harry's tone had changed. He was no longer incensed, but disheartened, "Why couldn't she have told me the truth?"
"Probably because she was afraid you'd act like a lunatic, running around slamming doors and kicking things." Ron smiled weakly at his last remark. To his relief, Harry smiled too, but only momentarily. He righted the side table apologetically and sat on the edge of his bed, burying his face in his hands.
Ron's expression became more serious, "Honestly, Harry, I'm glad I didn't know about Hermione until today, because if I told you about her, I would have betrayed Ginny's trust, and I'm not sure I could do that."
Harry started to speak, but was interrupted by a timid knock at the door.
"Harry? Ron? Can I come in?" Hermione's voice was barely above a whisper. Harry shook his head slowly, imploring Ron with his eyes not to open the door. Ron shrugged his shoulders and ignored Harry's silent plea.
"You've got to talk to her sooner or later," he whispered.
"Not if I can help it," Harry hissed. Ron reconsidered for a moment, then left Harry alone in the room and went out to talk to Hermione. When he led her in a moment later, Harry couldn't help notice, with some relief, that she looked just as miserable as he felt.
"Harry, I-" Hermione started.
"Please don't say you're sorry again," Harry said through gritted teeth, "Apologies really don't cut it right now."
"Fine," Hermione clearly felt slighted, but hid it tactfully, "If you won't let me apologise, can I ask you a favour?"
Harry could hardly believe her gall, "A favour? You expect me to..." he trailed off, noticing Ron expression, which seemed to be urging him to give her a chance. "What?" he asked suspiciously.
"Just don't tell anyone. Ginny and I would rather be...discreet about this, okay?" there was a pleading tone to her voice, "I can just imagine what kinds of rumours would be flying around Hogwarts. It would mean a lot to us if you'd promise not to say anything. I know that you're angry, but that's no reason to-"
"Fine." Harry hissed, rather eager to end the conversation in any way possible, "I won't tell about Ginny. I promise. Okay?" He felt his face flush with anger, and he shot Ron a warning glance, making it clear that he could not be held responsible for his actions if Hermione did not leave the room.
"Thank you," Hermione said, rather curtly, but genuinely grateful. She turned towards Ron, "Goodnight Ron," she said quietly as she left the room.
"'Night Hermione," Ron replied. He turned to Harry after she'd left, "That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked hopefully. Harry glared at Ron, lay down on his back on his bed, and pulled the covers over his head. "'Night Harry," Ron sighed.
Harry mumbled a reply, then grew silent, hoping Ron would believe he was asleep. In fact, despite the tiring events of the evening, it was nearly dawn when Harry finally felt himself begin to drift off. An angry heart, it seemed, did not allow for a restful sleep.
* * *
Three weeks later, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny boarded the Hogwarts Express, prepared to start their last (in Ginny's case, second-last) year of school. Harry had managed, up to this point, to keep conversation with Hermione to the barest minimum and to communicate with Ginny only when absolutely unavoidable. Simply looking at Hermione still caused Harry a significant degree of pain, and Ginny, quite frankly, made him uneasy.
Harry found an empty compartment at the back of the train, while Ginny and Hermione had settled near the front. In an attempt to stay neutral, Ron would pass most of the trip to Hogwarts running between the two compartments, inevitably leaving Harry on his own more often than not. Harry took out his copy of The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 7) and began reading. Having just settled in for a very dull train ride, he heard a knock on the compartment door. Figuring it was Ron, he invited the knocker in. He was surprised to see it was Neville Longbottom, his trunk and other various bags in disarray, a small lump (which Harry deduced was Trevor the Toad) attempting to wriggle it's way out of Neville's shirt pocket.
"Hullo Harry," said Neville, and then, despite the fact that Harry was obviously unaccompanied, he asked, "Are you alone? Do you mind if I come in? This seems to be the only compartment left."
"Sure Neville, sit." Harry said. He was planning on reading all the way to Hogwarts, so he wasn't too concerned about his company.
"So, how was your summer Harry?" Neville asked, arranging his bags under his seat, dropping several pairs of socks and losing Trevor in the process.
"Okay, I guess." Harry answered, indifferently, "Yours?"
Neville proceeded into a rather dull account of his trip to the seaside, but was interrupted by a voice from outside the door.
"Harry! Hello!" It was Lavender Brown, followed closely by Parvati Patil. Lavender, unlike Neville, noticed the conspicuous absence immediately. "Hey, where's Hermione?"
Harry felt himself flush. He hadn't expected to have to explain this so soon. "Well, we broke up." He said simply.
"Oh dear," Lavender sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm so sorry. What happened?"
He was tempted to rant to her about the whole situation, but remembered his promise to Hermione. Then, almost spontaneously, an idea had begun to form itself in Harry's mind. He remembered just how nosy Lavender could be. She didn't need to be told the whole story. She was quite adept at filling in the blanks. He decided it wouldn't be going against his promise to drop a few tidbits. He baited the hook. "She...well...she fell in love with someone else."
Lavender's mouth made a little 'o' of surprise. Parvati covered her mouth with her hands. Even Neville's eyes popped slightly, his jaw slackening.
"Oh Harry," said Parvati softly, her sympathy showing, "When?"
"Just a few weeks ago."
"Oh!" Parvati seated herself on Harry's other side and patted his arm comfortingly. They were nibbling at the bait. Harry waited, trying to look as forlorn as possible. Then they bit.
"Who is it?" Lavender asked, trying to appear offhand, but sounding extremely interested.
Harry reeled them in, "It's really not my place to say. I mean, I think it would be rather embarrassing for Hermione. I wouldn't want to humiliate her by spreading rumours."
The girls now seemed quite intrigued, but they still tried to be subtle.
"Will you be alright, Harry?"
"I suppose I'll recover, in time." Harry sighed exaggeratedly. Parvati and Lavender each gave him a close embrace, then left the compartment, presumably to track down Hermione and harass her about the identity of her new suitor. Harry felt the slightest twinge of guilt, but didn't pay it much attention. It's not my fault they're so meddlesome, he thought. Harry turned back to his textbook, continuing to stew in the bitterness he had hidden from the girls. A Muggle saying his aunt often used (ironic as it was) came to mind. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. And Lavender and Parvati, sweet as they were, were two of the busiest flies at Hogwarts. They'd be buzzing around the train all day, and by the time they reached school, everyone would have their own version of Harry and Hermione's break up.
A few moments later, Ron entered the compartment, looking perplexed. "Harry, were you just talking to Lavender Brown?"
"Yeah," Harry answered casually, "Why?"
"She just came up to me and said," Ron adopted a rather amusing falsetto, "'Are you going to see Harry? Good. He could use a friend right now.' What do you suppose she meant?" Ron eyed Harry suspiciously.
"I just told her about me and Hermione. I guess she feels sorry for me." Harry shrugged.
"What exactly did you tell her?" Ron asked, still wary.
"What do you mean?" Harry raised his eyebrows, then rolled his eyes, understanding, "Oh, that. No, I didn't tell her that."
"Good," Ron said, relieved, "Because I was just talking to them, and it's still really important to them that we keep this quiet. Who knows how people will react? And like it or not, she is still my best friend, just as you are. And Ginny's my sister, and if anything happened to her..."
A rather loud ahem from behind Ron interrupted his rant. Ron spun around to see Neville sitting there, succeeding in looking even redder than Ron did. While Ron hadn't said anything outright, Harry and Ron both knew that even Neville could appreciate the implications of his speech.
"Hermione and Ginny? Wow." Neville, possibly for the first time in his life, managed a wry grin. At Ron's troubled expression, Neville added, "Don't worry, I won't tell. It's not like anyone talks to me anyway."
* * *
It started as early as that evening. After all the formalities of the beginning of the new year, the Gryffindors headed up to their common room. Harry was fairly amused to see the inquisitive stares that seemed to follow Hermione everywhere she went. He caught the occasional murmur of curiosity, and even a few blunt questions aimed directly at Hermione. She deftly ignored most questions by burying her nose in a book, which was not at all out of her character. Ginny, Harry noticed, was now keeping her distance, so as not to encourage gossip, he assumed. For the first few days, Harry was quite smug. It was clear, whenever he saw Hermione, that she wasn't getting a moment's peace.
One afternoon, in their second week, Harry caught a rather antagonistic conversation between Hermione and Lavender Brown at lunch. At first he eavesdropped subtly, but soon their voices had raised so high, Harry would have had to be deaf to ignore them.
"Would you just give it up already?" Hermione was saying, exasperated, "It is none of your concern..."
"Oh, come on, we're going to find out soon enough," Lavender said with remarkable boldness, "You can't hide this forever."
"You fancy yourself a real know-it-all, don't you Lav." Ginny spat. Ron, who was sitting between the two girls, shot Ginny a warning look. Hermione was apparently quite surprised at Ginny's cheek.
"Maybe there's no one at all," piped Parvati Patil, "Maybe she just want's the attention."
"You really think I want everyone snooping around in my business?"
"It'll be the whole school's business before long, Hermione. Nobody can keep their secrets for long."
Lavender's pompous tone finally got to Hermione. She got to her feet angrily, "Why you insufferable..." Her rant was interrupted by a familiar drawling voice.
"Ooh, cat fight. Mind if I watch?" Draco Malfoy leaned coolly against the Gryffindor table, his mouth twisted in a cruel grin. Harry suspected he had scented hostility and had come over to revel in it.
"Sod off, Malfoy!" Hermione snapped, startling even herself.
"Now that is a surprise," Lavender said, smirking, "He would have been my number one pick."
Hermione let out a furious growl and pushed herself past Lavender, Parvati and Malfoy. "You need to relax, Granger." Malfoy snarled as she nearly knocked him over, heading out of the Great Hall. Hermione had been gone only a few moments when Harry saw Ginny follow after her, surreptitiously.
Harry had put the scene out of his mind and he finished his lunch. He headed up to the dormitory to pick up his books for his next class. When he entered the common room, he heard a vaguely familiar sound coming from the girl's dorm. He crept silently towards the door and listened. Hermione was crying, and Ginny was speaking in a low, soothing voice.
"I know it's hard Herm, but what are we supposed to do?"
"I just wonder if it's even worth it," Hermione choked, between sobs, "What is the point of being together if we can't be together?"
There was an awkward silence that followed this, then Hermione spoke again, "Gin, no. I didn't mean...you know I want to be together..."
"You are the one who wanted to be discreet. You are the one who decided it would be easier if no one knew." Ginny's voice was scathing now.
"I know, Ginny, and I stand by that. If we tell, things are only going to get worse..."
"So you would rather just end it then? Rather than admitting that you're in love with me?" Ginny sounded close to tears.
"No," Hermione said quietly, "I love you. I'm not afraid to say it."
"You're just afraid to be overheard. Forget it, Hermione. If you want to live a lie, go ahead," Ginny sighed deeply, "I'll continue to live it with you, as long as you want. Just don't expect me to be happy, okay?"
"Okay," Hermione said weakly.
There was a short pause. Then, without warning, the door opened and Ginny exited, quite tense. Harry jumped back to avoid being seen, but to no avail. Ginny glared at him. He had never seen her eyes so full of contempt. He opened his mouth to speak but was distracted by a sudden and sharp pain in his leg. Ginny had kicked him in the shin.
"What the hell was that for?" Harry yelled as Ginny turned to walk away. She spun around and met his eyes again.
"Why did you do this?" she asked, "Does it make you feel good to know that Hermione is being constantly harassed by everyone?"
Harry suppressed a grin, "I don't know what you mean, Ginny. I didn't do anything."
"You told Lavender that Hermione would be embarrassed if rumours started about who she was dating."
"Exactly," Harry reasoned, in a rather unconvincing tone, "I was trying to protect Hermione. I didn't tell Lavender to spread rumours. I can't be held accountable for her actions."
Ginny shook her head in disbelief, "You are so petty. You just can't stand the fact that we could be happy. What kind of satisfaction do you get from making us miserable?"
"It's wrong, Ginny." Harry said simply. He was surprised to hear himself say this. He wasn't even sure he believed it, but somehow he knew it would get a rise out of her, and at the moment that was much more important to him than being correct.
Ginny's expression was full of loathing. "It's not," she choked, "I love her, and she loves me."
"That's another thing," Harry started, his voice rising, "Isn't it interesting how one day she's in love with me, and the next she's in love with you. Doesn't that seem a little easy? Maybe she was wrong. Maybe that's why she doesn't want anyone to know, " Harry was recalling bits of the fight between the girls, "Maybe she doesn't want to tell anyone because she really doesn't love you at all." Harry knew it was a low blow, and he didn't care. He also didn't care that the portrait of the Fat Lady was beginning to swing open behind him, "You and Hermione may be together now, but trust me, that doesn't mean she loves you. She broke my heart. She'll break yours too."
Ginny looked horror stricken. Harry thought at first that it was his words that had caused this, but she was looking, not at him, but past him. Several Gryffindors, most notably Lavender Brown, were standing in the doorway and gawking. Ginny's face became flushed with anger and humiliation, and tears sprang to her eyes.
"What's wrong Ginny?" Harry asked in a vaguely contemptuous voice, "Now everyone knows. Isn't that what you wanted?"
Ginny bolted from the room crying. Harry hadn't noticed that Hermione had emerged from the girls' dorm and had witnessed the quarrel until he felt her push past him and saw her run after Ginny. Several people stared after them, a variety of expressions on their faces, ranging from sympathy (Neville) to disgust (Lavender). Harry fought against the ball of remorse twisting in his stomach. I didn't do it on purpose, he told himself, and was quite startled to find that even he didn't believe it.
* * *
Harry hadn't expected to feel so guilty. He had expected to feel angry, but he hadn't thought that so much of his anger would be directed at himself.
He couldn't stop noticing how, no matter what anyone said, Hermione and Ginny were still hugging in the hallways. He noticed how they looked at each other, the way they held hands on top of the table, and laughed with genuine enthusiasm at each other's comments. But Harry wasn't angry with Hermione and Ginny because they seemed happy. He was angry with Hermione and Ginny because they were happy, despite the stares and the snide comments. After a while, they hardly seemed to notice.
Harry wasn't sure what he'd been trying to achieve. Some part of him, he realised, had thought that he could cultivate his own happiness by hindering theirs.
And then it hit him: he had absolutely no power over how they felt because he no longer mattered in their lives. They didn't need a friend who didn't support them, who's only goal in the past month had been to upset them. He couldn't make them unhappy.
He exited the Great hall as he had entered, alone. He left his breakfast untouched, a bitter taste rising in his throat and ruining his appetite. He had succeeded in bringing about more unhappiness than he had intended, but Hermione and Ginny were unaffected. Harry now had to endure a misery he himself had created. Alone.
A/N: Thanks again for reading. Please let me know what you think, it makes such a huge difference.
~Divy