Ok, I know I've been putting this off way too long, and I owe it to all of you to hurry the hell up and get these finished. So, here goes... By the way, Id like to apologize for the popup banner, I dont know how to get rid of it and Ive tried everything.
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Author's Note : Just to give more substance to the fic, I have copied and pasted a few of the reviews I received for the Election fic.
Steve : We are now in the lovely city of "Elsewhere" where our votes are being counted as of now. In case you have forgotten, we have 8, no, 7, forgot that Relena died. We have 7 candidates running for office. Let's go to the floor to hear some of the candidates comments.
Anonymous Reporter #3 : Mr. Yuy, what are your thoughts on the results ?
Heero : I believe that people are smart enough to vote for me, if not..pulls out large clipboard w/ several Faniction.net author names. I know who you are, I know where you live and I even know what flavor dental floss you use. I will kill you.
AR 3 : Mr. Duo, your thoughts ?
Duo : I think Gervase should have won the million.
Hilde : Duo, he means about the elections, not Survivor.
Duo : Oh, oops. Heh heh. I think it's gonna be pretty close between me and Zechs. I think Zechs' stripdancing is gonna win the female vote, but Im pretty sure that there are more of my fans then fans of Zechs, so Im gonna win. ROCK ON !!!!
large chorus of cheer from every teenager and fat lazy guy in the bulding as they roar in approval
AR 3 : Mr. Trowa, same question.
Trowa : I think Richard deserved to win the million...
fwap !!
Trowa : Dammit Catherine !! The judge said no more knives !! Oh, the elections. I think Im gonna do fairly well. I know the circus is backing me up, and a few homeless people who Catherine threatened to kill, I know theyre gonna vote for me.
AR 3 : Quatre ?
Quatre : AAAAHHH !!!! GET HER AWAY FROM ME !!!!
Dorothy : But Quatre, I love you, now come here and lemme stab you .
Quatre : NNNOOO!!!!!
Dorothy : Ok, screw this. Eyebrow monster !! Get him !! (see Gundam Boys in a Mental Home)
Eyebrow monster : ROAR !! *eats AR 3*
Steve : DAMMIT, why does everyone kill my goddammed reporters !!??
AR 4 : Mr. Zechs, much debate has risen over the Pacifist territory. Many knew that it would immediately goto Relena, but due to her death, who do you think they will vote for now ?
Zechs : I oughtta get them, Im her brother, now if you'll excuse me. Macho macho maaannn....
Steve : Ok, enough crap, here are the reviews. The results will be posted underneath the reviews. I just love making people wait.
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Someone who likes to review Gundam fics but can't even think of a darn name for herself
*is laughing too hard to type and pretty much fallnig out of her chair* GOD THAT WAS GREAT! Only thing i didn't like was what you did to Trowa. he didn't deserve that. other than that, great!!!!
Mirai Trunks ( Signed Review )
Great debate. I'm voting for Duo and his party
Dreamer
I want HEERO!!!! 'cause he killed relena!!!! And now we don't have to worry about pacifism!!!! THANX HEERO!!!!
USA TODAY
"A fantastic Story! It kept me on the edge of my seat!"
Hand Of Nob ( Signed Review )
Hmmm... let's see I think I will... no... on second thought, no not that either... hmmm.... I will vote for Dorothy, yeah, wars for everyone, death, destruction, napalm, burning buildings, rubble, hehehe, JOY, JOY, JOY!!!
PyroR Aka horny female
Tell Duo to dump Hlide and i'll vote for him since i am a teenager but if he won't I'm goin' with Zechs!!
Dariana Night ( Signed Review )
Wu-koi should win!! *threatens voters with Katana* anyone say otherwise? hmm? good.
Kat
MUST I EVEN SAY IT? IT'S GOTTA BE DUO OR I MAY JUST PULL A HEERO ON AUTHOR *HEERO YUY DEATH GLARE* DUO BETTER WIN!!!!
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Steve : Weren't those nice ? Ok, enough stalling, HERE ARE THE RESULTS !!!!!!
dramatic drumroll
In last place with one vote ! It is the Winner Industries party
Quatre : What !!! Only one vote !! Out of 59 damn people, I only got one vote !!!!
Steve : Yep
Quatre : *weakly* I need some tea.
Steve : Alrighty then, in 6th place with two votes, it is the ................ party !!
Trowa : ........oh well......*fwap* Jesus Christ already dammit !!!!!!! Heero, Catherine is an obstruction to the mission and I don't have a gun !!
Heero : Mission accepted. I'll be back in 5 sentences.
Steve : Alrighty then, in 5th place with 3 votes (and yes, these are the actual counts, I only counted 59 votes cause the last 2 were turned in late, but these are the actual tallies) Ok, where was I ? Oh yeah, 5th place with 3 votes is The Justice Party
Wufei : What !!! 3 weak votes !!! INJUSTICE !!!! Nataku, I am unworthy to establish libraries in your name. I am weak !!!
Steve : *cough* wuss *cough* Ok, 4th place with 4 votes is Blow stuff up and cause war party Sheesh Quatre, it seems that either people like Dorothy more then you, or more people just like you more when your with Dorothy.
Quatre : *kicking heels* The wicked bitch lo-ost !! Hooray !!! No pointy eyebrows for me !!
Dorothy : Oh Quatre...wanna.........fence !?
Quatre : face pales AAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Steve : Aren't they a cute couple. Well, no, I guess not. Anywho, moving on to where are we ? 3rd place, cool, ok, third place with ten votes is Im too sexy for my shirt party
Zechs : Macho mach.....wait, I lost ?
Steve : Well, ya got third place. So yeah, you lost.
Zechs : B-b-b-but the dance, and the towel, and the women.....how could I lose ?
Steve : Look on the bright side, you still have your fans.
All the horny women in the audience cheer
Steve : Say, what ever happened to Noin ?
Zechs : Well, um, we're married, we have been for a few years, I told her I was gonna go out for some coffee, that was five months ago........
Steve : In Jerry Springer-like voice Well, let's bring Noin out now !!
Noin enters arena with a baseball bat, she immediately smacks Zechs a few times in the stomach and forehead, then drags him off stage. All the other women boo and throw things. A few even leave.
Steve : I think our ratings just went down 80 percent. Ok well, Zechs or no Zechs, we have two more people left, Duo and Heero ! Many people foresaw these two as being the most popular, and looks like they were right. Ok, well, let's get their thoughts on this.
AR 4 : Mr. Maxwell, what do you think so far ?
Duo : I think that Rodger dude is gonna win the million on the new Survivor....
Steve throws a small stone at Duo's forehead
Steve : The election results !!
Duo : Oh yeah...owww...I think Im gonna kick Heero's ass, ROCK ON !!!!!!!!!!
AR 4 : You heard it there, Mr. Yuy ? Uh, Mr. Yuy. Steve, it would appear I can't find Heero.
Heero : Im right here, I needed to change into some less bloody clothes, ol Catherine was a gusher.
Trowa gets a really goofy big assed smile on his face
Trowa : Heero, did I ever mention your my best friend !! You killed her !! Thank you so much !!
Trowa goes to hug Heero in one of those really happy monents. Before Trowa gets within 5 feet, Heero whips out his gun.
Heero : NON YAOI !!
Trowa : I knew that. Ok, here, I'll pay you for killing Cathy.
Heero : Mission accepted. Oh, and Im gonna win, people are smart, Ill win.
Steve : Ok, well, here we go, in SECOND place with hold on....hold on.....they both have 15 votes...ladies and gentleman, we have a tie ! I am serious, there is a genuine tie !!
Heero : Mission not accepted
Duo : A tie !!! WEAK !!
Wufei : An injustice even !!
Heero : How are we gonna settle it ?
Duo : RECOUNT !! I WANT A RECOUNT !! ROCK ON !!
all the fat lazy guys and teenagers roar in approval
Steve : Heero, is that cool with you ?
Heero : Hang on a sec. *hops off stage and goes through audience, asking random people who they voted for.
Anonymous Duo fan :in trembly voice Uh....yeah.....I uh...I voted for Duo....rock on ?
Heero : Not anymore you wont. Fires gun, effectively killing the random Duo fan. Ok, recount away.
Duo : Weak, did you see that ! He killed a voter !!
Steve : Im not gonna stop him, not while HE has the gun anyways. Ok, I'll just flip a coin, if anything happens to this coin before, during or after the flip, you will both be banished to the land of pacifism.
upon finishing that sentence, Heero and Duo cringe back, afraid of pacifism.
Steve : But first, let's get Relena Peacecraft's thoughts on the current events.
camera goes to a cemetary at one certain grave. It is marked with Relena's name. The camera stays stationary for a moment, then returns to the election HQ.
Steve : And what tactical analysation by Relena, ok then, Heads Heero wins. Tails, Duo wins. Fair enough ?
Heero : Accepted
Duo : Rock on.
Steve : Ok, flips coin, drumrolls sound very drmatically . Coin falls ever so slowly and dramatically
Duo : Hurry up already !!
the coin lands in Steve's palm
Steve : The winner is.....Heero !!! The Omae o Korsou party wins !!!! We will have a Heerocracy !!! (thanks to whoever put that in their review, I dont remember who, but you know who you are)
Heero : Mission accomplished.
Duo : Oh well. Hey Hilde, let's get to the arcade, I still have some leftover campaign funds.
Hilde : Cool
the two walk off to the arcade
Steve : Well, Heero, how do ya feel to be ruler of the colonies and the earth ?
Heero : It was the natural choice.
Steve : Well, festivities here are high as we usher in the new Heerocracy, now, heres a clip of Heero taking his oath into office, word is, he wrote this himself.
Heero : I do monotonely accept as my mission to end pacifism, to kill annoying people who like pacifism, and to run this country efficiently. Any who oppose my mission will be killed.
Steve : Ok, there ya have it, President Heero Yuy is sworn in as president. Well folks, one last thing, WHERE ARE THEY NOW ? We all know what Heero is doing, but what about the others ? Let's find out....
Duo : Duo is living happily with Hilde in the arcade they bought. They have no hard feelings towards Heero. Duo is planning on opening a large chain of arcades, all titled ROCK ON.
Trowa : Trowa is living happily in his traveling circus. His genitals have long since healed from the multiple knife wounds, and he still frequently visits Catherine's grave to spit on the tombstone, dig up the body and stab it, only to rebury it.
Quatre : Quatre finally caved in to Dorothy's wishes and married her at rapier point. He now lives in constant fear, although Dorothy hasn't tried to stab him or kill him in any other way since the marriage.
Wufei : Wufei sat and stared at his Justice Library for several weeks after finaly deciding to do something with his life. He now preaches at malls across the world and colonies promoting Justiceism
Relena : Relena is still dead. She rests in peace at Sanc Kingdom cemetary. Heero occasionally stops by to kick her tombstone and dance on her grave.
Dorothy : after marrying Quatre, she started her own fencing federation called White Fang Fencing, she is not only the owner, but also the reigning champion.
Zechs : after healing from his injuries settled down at home with his wife Noin, although many women report seeing him once a week at the local strip club dancing to Macho man.
Steve : Well, thats it, sorry it took so long to finish, but I hope you like the finished product. If not, Im a good friend of Heero's, he knows where you live, he knows who you are, and he knows what kind of dental floss you use. Just thought Id warn you. Im Steve, and for the candidates and the dead people, good night !
Just Communication plays in background as camera fades out.