The Stone Hearted Princess

by Queen

A story not of the Old Silver Millennium, but of the Old Earth, told through the eyes of one whose place in destiny was not as expected.... (complete)

3. Childhood's Hour 3

The Stone Hearted Princess-

That was the year I found a love that would supersede that of my love of riding. And that was in the grip of a blade. I loved the feel of it, the easy swing of a balanced length of steel. I wasn't sure what to expect on that first day. Endymion and I were told we were to start new lessons, and to meet in the training rooms. Dressed appropriately in a loose outfit, I showed up, waiting. Endymion came a moment later, and I felt his presence in the room.

"Endymion."

He nodded. "Do you know what this is about?"

I shrugged. "Not really."

"How are you?"

I knew there was more to the question. He was trying to see something. He had grown in the last year. He was taller, but not quite topping me, not yet. His face had lengthened, but still looked boyish. A few more years, I knew.

"Fine."

"And your arrival?"

"Safe."

There was more awkward silence. Neither of us could speak, or seemed to know what to say. The strangeness was still there, for no reason I could see. The truce had to be reached again. Mutual respect. I'd be happy with it.

"So. How've you been?"

Brilliant! What a wonderful opening that is! Bound to lead to fascinating topics.

"Fine. You?"

I shrugged, and leaned against the windowpane, folding my arms over my chest. Slightly embarrassed, I had noticed I was starting to get my mother's figure.

Great. Just great.

There was more silence as I tried to look calm and uncaring about the tardiness of our instructor. Endymion began to pace.

"So, do you know what we're here for?"

He stopped and glanced at me. "Dunno. These are the training rooms, sosomething athletic." He began to fiddle with the equipment on the walls. Fencing foils had been racked neatly against the wall, and he chose one, swishing it back and forth in a test.

I watched him bend the blade experimentally, and smiled faintly. After a moment, he became aware of my scrutiny, and stopped. "What?"

"Nothing. Just watching. Have you had lessons before?"

"No. Mother has always said I was too young."

While he said this, I walked over to the wall and took up a foil myself. "En garde!" I pointed it at him, grinning. Nothing like a challenge to break up the ice. I was right, and his face split into a grin. He brought up his blade and I tossed my hair back, posing dramatically, one arm behind my back.

"We shouldn't be doing this without guards on, you know," he told me, winking, as he lunged forward. I yelped as it grazed a little too close.

"Aw, but where's the fun in that?" I slammed my foil down on his, and they made a sickening crunching noise. We froze, examining our weapons. Breaking them would definitely get us in trouble, and we both knew it.

"They won't break that easily," a smooth contralto said from behind me.Endymion and I both leapt around, nervous, worried and afraid we were in trouble. But Gaia was smiling faintly, and shaking her head. What was it with this family and being able to creep up on people?

"My Queen," I curtsied, and Endymion bowed. It was then that I noticed the difference. Gaia, who usually was dressed elegantly, if plainly, for her work and duties of the castle, was wearing brown leather breeches, a loose cream colored shirt, and a laced vest. Her long green hair was plaited twice, hanging down her back, trailing past her calves. "My Queen, forgive us. We were bored, and were waiting for our instructor...."

"It's all right, alanna," she consoled, and stepped up to a closed cabinet,opening it. "I'm here now. Duties kept me late with lord Tanager," she drew out

a long, slender foil of silver. Testing it by running a thumb over the rounded point, she smiled at me, then Endymion.

The two of us stared at her, then turned to each other, realizing at the same moment that it was she who intended to train us, not some unknown instructor. I didn't even know that she could fence, much less would be our teacher! Gaia and I always got along well, if somewhat formally.

Endymion spoke first, sounding a bit incredulous. "You're going to teach us, Mother? But I thought you'd be too busy...."

"I thought it high time for me to spend some time with my son and future heiress. And what better than teaching you to fight? It is an elegant and useful sport, and someday you will use a full weighted blade, not merely a foil. Come," she gestured at the practice mat. We went to it obediently, standing across from oneanother, still holding our foils. Gaia rummaged for a moment in a closet, and produced sparring gear, complete with mesh face masks. "Put these on."

A moment later, we were ready again, and I felt a little odd, the paddingencasing my body and obscuring my vision slightly. She began to speak, telling us of the basic thrust pattern and parry of the blades. Slowly she would tell us to strike or to block, and my sword would ring faintly against Endymion's. It was nearly hypnotic, the rhythmic pinging of the foils against each other, the sweep and thrust and parry and repeat as we began to circle. Occasionally, Gaia would allow a 'good' or a 'no, that's wrong' into our session. I would favor my left leg, or would let my blade drop too low. The lesson was becoming exhausting, and as I grew more tired, beads of sweat began to trickle into my eyes and down my face, running stickily down my neck and back. My hair was getting wet. Endymion was just as tired, and his own black hair was soaked, plastering to his temples under the mask.

"No! Endymion! I told you to keep your foil up! Let it down and you expose yourself to an attack! Always assume that your opponent is there to kill you. Let them have an opening, and they will take it."

He grunted, and began to watch me more carefully. He was good, and it was beginning to irritate me. Every time I stabbed at him, he either got out of my way, or parried. He was getting just as frustrated at me as I was at him, since he was faring no better on my half.

It was so unlike her to yell. She was always calm and collected, not infuriating as she was being now. To me, she shouted, "Get your chin down, now!"

What was wrong with her, screaming like that? I was beginning to suspect she was doing it deliberately, just to piss us off. She was succeeding grandly on my part. Standing there like the Queen of the world, which I suppose she was, but still. It was rude, annoying and getting on my nerves. "Get your leg in,now! Do you want to get slashed? What did I just tell you?"

Endymion was tired, as was I, but my anger was fueling the reserves of energy I had. His blocks were getting weaker, and my thrusts more wild. Gaia was not letting me forget it, either. "Watch what you're doing! Get your head down, right now! If this was a real fight, your enemy would give you an extra set of lips! Get it down!" I tucked my chin down, and sidestepped a slash my left side.

Instead of praise at my dodging, I heard a, "Good, Endymion! She's favoring that side!"

Favoring? I was certainly not favoring! He was constantly leaving his chest exposed, and I get a comment that I was favoring my left side? Gaia and I usually got along well, if formally. How could she scream at me like this?

Feinting at a thrust, I screamed, using every last bit of energy I could to slash furiously at Endymion's chest. He gasped, and wildly began to back away as I charged forward, using both hands on the hilt of my blade.

"Stop! Hey, stop!" he backpedaled, trying to stave of my blows, which were getting frantic.

"Stop!" Gaia called out, her voice icy. And like ice, it was cold, and it cut through my fit of fury. I stopped, and threw my blade down, glaring back at her. She was tight lipped, frowning, and watching me. Then Endymion. Me again. "Your way of fighting is reckless. You must learn to control that. What is the reason for your fight? When you discover that, you will learn if your fight was true, or if it was useless."

What nonsense. People fight all the time. Wars and murders and killing. People get upset for all kinds of ridiculous reasons. "And when is it right to fight? And what makes it right? The winner always deems a war right or wrong. Mitigating circumstances." I continued to glare, folding my arms. She sighed as through suddenly very tired.

Sadly, she told me, "The only times to fight are when truth has been made lie, the innocent have been harmed, or love has been lost. Any other time is nothing but senseless bickering." Turning away, she set her foil back into its cabinet, and walked out of the training hall, without looking at us again.

"You lost control," Endymion informed me flatly, but it felt like an accusation.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

I snatched up my foil again, but he just looked at me, not readying himself, despite my obvious desire to kick the crap out of him. I didn't really feel that tired anymore, but I couldn't fight him if he just stood there. Come on! Fight me! But he just kept on looking at me, as though trying to figure me out. "Quit staring at me!"

He shook his head. "She was trying to get us mad on purpose."

"I knew that!"

He kept on shaking his head sadly, looking down. "You can't expect me to spar with you if you keep on losing control."

What was he talking about? This was ridiculous.

"I did not!"

I watched him as he walked over to the racks of foils, and set his back on, glancing at me over his shoulder once before leaving, the bastard. Me, lose control? Well, maybe I did for a minute. There's no need to be instigated and poked and prodded and annoyed until I got furious. Anyone would crack. It was infuriating.

I threw the sword down again, then sat down, crossing my legs and folding my arms, glaring at the sword and putting Gaia, her son, and the fight out of my head. This was a challenge to my intelligence and control. I could not allow Endymion to be better than me at this. And I could not fail in the eyes of Gaia.

I could see it now. Me, a failure. I who would be Queen someday. Not that I wanted it, but I was getting used to the idea, and who wanted a stupid, ditzy crybaby who couldn't fight for a Queen? Gaia was obviously able to fight. She'd proven that with her constant commenting. For someone usually the ideal of regality, having her harass me was smashing that image. Well, I'd show her! No one makes me look like a fool. I unfolded myself and picked up the foil. Anger could blind a person, but it could also make them strong. Anger against stupidity, anger against hate, anger against inability. I hated not knowing what to do or how to control myself. They were right. I had lost control. But the question now was how to regain it.

So I practiced. There were sessions three times a week with Gaia and Endymion, and we stopped having the sparring matches while she instructed. There was no more said about our first lesson, and I was not sure if I was glad or not. I listened with the attention of a fanatic, and practiced religiously, daily, pounding away at a dummy in the training hall. One day, I lost track of time.

For the last month, I had come to the stables every day an hour or so after the evening meal. Kitsune and I would work with the horses, riding or grooming, and I got to know her well. She came from the Eastern Islands, in the land where it was said that the sun rose first. I was surprised to see her appear at the doorway of the room, and she was frowning thoughtfully. "Try this," she suggested, walking in, and from then on, I had a sparring partner older than me.

Endymion took to the blade naturally, as I worked and sweated for the same skills. It always seemed so easy for him, pick up the blade, listen to his mother a few minutes, and copy the results. It was infuriating, but as I practiced more and more, I found that my initial fury to learn had grown into an actual love of the art. I began to enjoy the rhythmic dance of a match between Kitsune and myself. Endymion's easy grasp of it slowly became further barrier between us. I couldn't help it. I was polite to him, nice, even, as he was to me. Some would call this jealousy. Perhaps it was. But those who have to work for results and skill will always be jealous of those who can do anything with ease.

This was the way of things for a long time. Endymion's guardians would come, and he would spend all of his time with them. Not that we were together much anyway, but the lessons ceased for the both of us. Gaia was getting involved in a dispute in the southern Eurasia. There had been a number of sparking battles between the tribes that lived there, and she had been forced to intervene. It was a tense time, and it only grew more so. It was only by royal decree that the bloodshed stopped. Hatred is a strange thing. Few even remember where it begins. Only that it exists. And often, when a source is discovered, it is often ridiculous. I had learned well the lesson of the swords. Many times, fighting is pointless, and often without reason. I spent another two years at Thymos, training and learning. Lessons grew more difficult. The month at Caer Sidi became more and more of a break to me. A vacation, if nothing else. Every spring, I would leave, spend my birthday with my parents, then return home the following month. And Thymos now was home. For so long I had clung to the idea of Caer Sidi being where I belonged. But as I settled into my old rooms, it seemed foreign, the room not quite mine as it was at Thymos.

Life at the castle was different than it was at the palace. But this year, my return home was delayed by Gaia making a request. We were both born into the same month, and I had always been away during our birthdays. This year, Gaia requested me to remain. And who was I to deny such a request? Besides, I was curious as to how Gaia threw a party. I heard they were wonderful affairs. Not that I liked parties very much, but I couldn't help some curiosity. It would be Gaia's fourth decade, and to celebrate, the whole of the Earth Sphere would be coming. Even my family at Caer Sidi.

The palace grounds were expanded, and even I was drafted into the work. Endymion and his four cronies were all working in the arrangement of rooms for the guests. I was lucky, spared from Cricket's (our mistress of the household affairs) eagle eyes for detail, and her sharp tongue when she found mistakes. Hardly the personality I would have expected from someone named 'Cricket' but then again, who knew? Names are only words, right?

I had settled myself in with Kitsune, who, being Mistress of the Horse, was in charge of preparations for the nobility's incoming traffic, and security to make sure there were no arguments between any of the incoming factions. Strategy turned out to be a talent I didn't know I had. It was like commanding an army, walking around and issuing orders. But ah, could I command! I loved every minute of making those grooms jump! I began to hear whispers of my old nickname, 'the terror' again. Oddly, this pleased me. But I could recognize respect when I saw it. Kitsune received the same looks, and she was undoubtedly the leader in the stables. I spent more and more time with Kitsune as I was at the palace. It felt almost like I had an older sister, watching me and teaching me. It was wonderful. We still practiced sparring, and she had bought me a hand-and-a-half sword, of the European style, since I seemed to prefer them when we looked at weaponry. It wasn't that I disliked katana. In fact, I found them more elegant. But there was just something...familiar, about a sword forged in my homeland. I had grown stronger with training, and was nearly as muscular as Kitsune. I doubted I ever would be. She was built more stoutly than I. But I was tall, and that began to give me an advantage as we fought. I was nearing my full height, and sometimes felt growing pains. The development I had begun to notice a couple years ago had completed itself. I felt a little embarrassed with a fuller figure. I'd rather have been less noticeable, for once.

"Hold still!"

"Swallow...." I began warningly. The ball for Gaia was tonight, and Swallow, still my servant when I was at the palace, was piling my hair up. "I want it down!"

"It's supposed to be up!"

"I want it...."

"Both of you, keep it quiet," Kitsune commented dryly from the entranceway of my dressing chamber. She was holding a dark green dress for me. The three of us had picked it out at the taylor's a month ago on a rare shopping spree. After all, I could hardly go naked to the ball. Glumly, I folded my arms. "Stop pouting. It makes you look like you're five."

I glowered into the mirror and unfolded my arms, setting them on the rim of the chair. "Kitsune, you need to get dressed too. Go get ready or something."

"I'm only going to be there for fifteen minutes. You will be there all night."

"Yeah, lucky me. Ow! Swallow, what are you doing to my head?"

"I'm trying to thread pearls into it!"

"I never said I wanted any pearls!"

"But it will look better, and don't you want Endymion to look at you?"

I flushed red, and Swallow must have thought it was because she was right. Personally, I couldn't care less what Endymion thought. I'd rather be doing anything but going to the ball. Well, I'd like to see what one was like, but I only wanted to be there for fifteen minutes, like Kitsune. Lucky.

"Oww!" I wailed, and began to bat at my head, trying in desperation to get Swallow off of my hair. "Ow, ow, OW!"

"It doesn't hurt that much!"

"Would you like me to do it to your head?" I leapt up, breaking Swallow's hold on my hair and grabbed a brush, wielding it like a sword. "Come one step closer to my head and I will cut out your heart!"

Swallow rolled her eyes and I heard Kitsune sigh. "Sure, cut out my heart with a hairbrush."

I flipped a remaining tendril of hair over my shoulder. "I'm skilled with the sword, right Kitsune? I should be able to make this work. Swallow! Come here!" I shrieked, and began to chase her. All right, I was being silly, but hey, I got her to stop yanking my hair out. Swallow got ahold of Kitsune, and was trying to hide behind her. Kitsune looked like she was stuck between laughter and being parental. Parental eventually won out, and she began to push us apart, muttering,

"Break it up, break it up, you two. You need to get dressed." She heaped the gown on my arms, and I struggled to keep it from overwhelming me. Not that it was particularly big, but there were layers of silk on top of one another, and formals like to eat women alive. A moment later, I was being trussed like a turkey, my robe stripped unceremonially off me, (to which I yelped and began cursing them) and the dress shoved over my head. Kitsune and Swallow began the process of fastening the dress correctly. The layers were draped, and, being silk, looked like the Nile. It was sleeveless, and fastened to my neck by a twist of material. A heavy golden brocade had been stitched down a slit, perfectly cut over my left leg. Swallow finally brought to me a tray of jewelry, and slid golden snake armbands up my arms, with heavy matching bracelets on my wrists. I felt as though I would sink like a treasure ship if I accidentally took a swim in the punch bowl.

"You look fine," Swallow informed me as I peered at myself eerily in the mirror. It was strange, being dressed up like this. I tucked a strand of hair behind an ear, then turned my head slightly, lengthening my neck to see the heavy gold ornament on my ear.

"Do I really?"

Kitsune stepped up behind me and Swallow, and grinned, shaking her head.

"You'll do fine. Your parents should be here by now too. They won't believe how grown up you look."

"You sound like my mother, Kitsune."

Gruffly, Kitsune rolled her eyes and said, "You need one. I'd better get going. I'll have to show up for awhile during the reception. And you'd better move too. Don't want to be late." Kitsune backed away and headed out the door with a wave and a "Bye!" I turned to Swallow, who was putting away the hair supplies and jewelry. For a moment, I smiled faintly. Swallow, despite her being lower in rank and my maid, had, through time, become my friend. Her and Kitsune. I didn't really have any others. It was nice, to have someone to talk to. And Swallow was smart. I learned awhile ago the advantages of having the palace's gossip mill at my own ears, and Swallow was infinitely useful at bringing me up-to-date information. Being the capitol of the Earth Sphere, the palace was a hotbed for talk. Nobility and royalty rarely heard things straight from the mouths of the speakers, and hearing such things were advantageous. I was glad Swallow was on my side of things.

"I'm ready, then, I guess," I sighed as I tried to arrange the folds of the gown. My hands were getting sweaty. The last thing I would need were palm-prints on my dress. Swallow must have seen my apprehension.

"Don't worry, you'll do fine. It's just a ball, remember?" She gave me a hug quickly, and looked me up and down. "You'll have every boy in the place chasing you."

Swallow had launched herself fully into adolescence, boy crazed and all. It seemed to be the only area where she wasn't logical or sensible. She wasn't beautiful, but was fairly pretty, and when she put her mind to it, she could turn any boy's head. I found it highly amusing.

I laughed nervously, and gathered myself up, screwing up some courage. I'd have been happier if I was going to a war. At least then I'd know what to do. "I'm ready," I exhaled a great breath, strode to the door, opened it myself, and entered the hallway.

Swallow, being a servant, would not be attending. I'd look for Kitsune, but she would be at the reception only, and not the dinner that I was escorting myself to at the moment. I passed through the hallways, mazing my way through them expertly. The years had made this second nature. A small family was making its way along a few strides ahead of me. I slowed my pace, thinking it would be rude to overtake them in the narrow confine. A little girl with white hair held onto her mother's hand, but was turning around and staring at the walls, the ceiling, and, after a moment, me. She looked surprised for a moment, then waved shyly. It was adorable, so I grinned and waved back. Hurriedly, she turned and hustled back into step with her mother, who cast a furtive glance back at me, then returned to hurrying. What, didn't recognize me? Oh well. She would soon enough.

The dining hall of Thymos was a spacious chamber, with arching flying high up into a dome. This dome had been painted inside, and spun with magic, so that the painting always seemed to reflect some time of day. Now it shone brightly, the sun gleaming high in the east, filling the room with the brightness of day, adding to the illumination of the sconces and candles on the table. I knew from Swallow's description that the feast would be excessive. She told me the kitchens had been up since the first hour of the morning, preparing the roast and the delicate dishes that would be served. The room was filled with the smells of meat and cheese, bread and spices. It made me hungry. But I couldn't eat too much. Making a pig of myself would have to wait for later.

Guests were milling informally around the hall, awaiting the appearance of the Queen and her son, the prince. I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Gods, I barely recognized you."

I blinked. "Jadeite?" He was decked out in a dark blue overcoat, matching his eyes. He actually didn't look too scruffy. "You cleaned up."

"Yeah, well, it's a ball. Or will be, after dinner."

"Are they really that boring?"

"Just about. Is Endymion running late?"

I shrugged. "Who knows? It could be the Queen."

"Gaia? Late? I doubt it."

"Where's the rest of your little gang?"

He folded his arms and surveyed the room. "Don't know. I see Kunzite's family over there," he made a gesture at the white-haired group I had followed in. No wonder. The hair must run in the family.

"I didn't know Kunzite had a little sister."

"Yeah. We do have families back home. Don't you have any brothers or sisters?"

Siblings? Me? "No. Just me."

"How lucky your parents must feel."

Two minutes. Wow. A record before he started getting insulting. I sniffed and put a hand on my hip, imitating his gaze around the room. "My parents do just fine." Nothing like an insult to family. "And you? What about your family?"

"Over there," he made a vague gesture at a chattering group in the corner. "I'm the youngest. Where's your family?"

I looked around a bit, and after a moment, I noticed my mother's flame haired head. She was looking serious as usual, and my father at her arm. Both were apparently trying to explain something to another couple, who seemed in some disagreement with them. "There. See?"

"Oh," he nodded in acknowledgment. "Do you know how much longer this will take?"

It was just then that the doors behind the dias opened to reveal Gaia, in a white, filmy gown, the Golden Crystal hanging with familiar grace on her neck. Endymion was at her side, looking lanky but royal beside her, in a black tuxedo. I had to admit, it worked for him.

"Welcome," Gaia greeted us, inclining her head and smiling. "Another year making me older than the rest of you. Come, join me in the celebration of my new old age."

There were a few chuckles, and we moved to the table. Jadeite went to go with his family, as was proper, and I moved to my designated position near the head. I was sitting on the left hand of the Queen, Endymion the right. I was startledto feel my chair pulled out for me. Endymion had grabbed it, and tucked it in behind me as I settled in. "Thank you," I told him, slightly surprised. It was considerate of him. He smiled briefly, and then aided his mother in sitting as well. I looked at him from a lowered head as he sat across from me. The years were catching up to him, and the boyishness was beginning to fade. He was going to be attractive when he was older, with his black hair and blue eyes. Suddenly, I felt some flush to my cheeks. What a ridiculous thing to think. I was glad when the servants brought out trays of hot crusty bread, and I could think about stuffing the proper amount into my face.

There was soup after the bread, the lemon and chicken soup that was the region's specialty. Heady fine wine was brought, and poured delicately into crystalline fluted goblets, making the clearness red and shimmering. I was careful not to overeat. I could see myself eating too much and getting sick to my stomach later. It had been an interesting training session for me, learning to dance. I had become graceful on the fencing ground, and could fight with precision and accuracy, but put another body in close proximity to mine and all hell would break loose.

As the main course was brought out, Gaia suddenly stood, lifting her glass. All motion at the table ceased instantly, as people turned to see what Gaia would say. She smiled benevolently down at the expectant guests, the nobles and leaders of the Earth. I began to understand what she would say, and the words fell from her lips easily. I should have expected it, since this was the perfect opportunity. But when she began her speech, I felt heavier and heavier, knowing that it would now be formal, official.

"Dear friends. Today is the day that I celebrate my aging, and my passing into the third, final stage of my life. The years turn, and as time passes, the young replace the old. My son, Endymion," she smiled down at him, who stared up at her blankly and without emotion, then at me. I knew he was thinking the same about me as I was about him. "And my heiress, who will succeed me as the Queen of our world. To them, and to the future," she lifted her glass delicately, and everyone scrambled to imitate her. I, and Endymion, both lifted our glasses, looking at each other over the rims. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes, as he must have seen in mine. Goddess, this was so hard.

This was how it was to be. I had been formally been called Gaia's heir, and it was heard and witnessed by the nobility of our world. I sought out my parents, who sat further down the table. They were both beaming with pride, and smiled at me broadly when I met their gaze. I smiled back weakly, then stared at my food. I didn't want this. I would make a good Queen. But I didn't want this. The food seemed utterly unappetizing suddenly, and I stared at it with mild distaste. What I had eaten earlier was becoming heavy in my belly, and I picked at my plate. I was tired. So very tired. I wanted to go riding. Or practice some swordwork with Kitsune. Even listen to Swallow tell me about the latest gossip. I tried not to squeeze the napkin in my hands too hard.

Dinner was so infinitely slow. It seemed a miracle when the bell chimed, and we were excused for a few minutes to go to the great hall, where the symphony was settled, and waiters would bring yet more wine on platters of silver. I floated though this in a dream, or maybe a nightmare. I watched these people surround me congratulate me in their ways, and I felt my parents hug me and tell me how lovely I looked, how well I had grown, and the good things one would expect to hear from people I saw so little of, but was supposed to be close to.

The orchestra had begun a sweeping tune, filled with the sounds of violin and flute, tremulous and epic in sound. It was beautiful, and it made the room even more beautiful. I felt awkward and strange, so after the formal, polite nods and greetings, I gratefully slipped out onto the balcony, a breezy escape fromthe warming room.

It was a night of stars and clouds, the moon hidden in this cycle. Boats lit the waves of the sea beyond us, faerie lights dancing on the water. I imagined I could see people moving around on the decks, under the brightness of the stars, and the blackness between them. Lighter blue clouds wisped across the skies, making the heaven not so pitch black as it could have been.

"You can't sneak up on me anymore, Endymion," I said as I heard a faintfootfall. Only two people could ever catch me unaware, and Gaia was surely inside, dealing with her guests. I was correct, and I saw Endymion, my betrothed now, standing behind me. He moved to the rail, and leaned over it, folding his arms.

"I know."

So we stood there. I returned my eyes to the sea, and watched some gulls flitting over the foam on the rocks. They began to squabble. "I don't love you, either," I told him evenly. It would be best to be honest with him, and I was certain that he did not feel much attraction towards me.

"It's duty."

"Yes, just that."

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, and the wind picked up a bit. "We'll rule together, you know. I'm the blood, but you are the one who will have to wear the crown."

"I don't want it. I'd give it to you, if I could."

He looked down. "I know." There was some more awkward silence. "If you could get out of it," he continued, "would you?"

"In a minute. I'd rather be...I don't know. I don't know what I want," I admitted, feeling candid with him. I put my chin in my hands, enjoying the cold breeze. My skin was prickling. "I want...to live well. To help the world. If I can do that best as Queen, then I'll do it. If I'm going to be the ruler of the Earth, then I'll do my best. As you will, I'm sure."

He nodded. "There have been worse couples than us, I guess. We'll manage."

"Manage, yes. There have been couples in the palace who don't love each other."

We were trying to convince each other, and we both knew it. But both of us knew all too well how much more difficult that would make our future. Both of us wanted to, somehow, think that maybe we would eventually fall in love. Since the feelings did not exist at the moment, it made it awkward and strange. "For now, through, maybe we should play into it. It's your Mother's birthday. We should go back in." As much as I don't want to....

He agreed, and offered me his arm, which I took. The warmth and light pressed in on me, and people began to swirl. Endymion and I took to the dance floor, and we slowly began our spiral around each other. Endymion was a fine dancer. He took to so many things so easily. But I worked hard, and it seemed to me that those who work for anything seem to have earned it. Anything that comes with ease is not truly owned by its possessor. For some several hours this passed, and I could not bear it much longer. Politely, I feigned exhaustion, for it was late into the night. I excused myself, kissing both Gaia and Endymion on the cheek in farewell.

I did not return to my room immediately, but instead chose to wander the halls. It was dark, and the archways let in the starshine. Sconces on the walls created tiny half halos of light every few strides, and I walked along them, thinking. Queen. Me. How? How was I going to do this? There is much responsibility on any ruler on any world. When I was young, I thought that the duties of the Queen would be merely boring. Perhaps they would be. But they were necessary for the continuation of our planet. And for me to be doing them seemed odd. In my mind, I tried to see myself in Gaia's chair, the Golden Crystal around my neck. The vision blurred and vanished from me. The image of me as Queen refused to come. I wondered why.

Into my thoughts, a hiccuping sob broke. It was high pitched and soft, as though the girl were trying to hide it. I had paused and leaned myself against a pillar. Now I straightened and peered around to see the little girl who had waved at me earlier this evening. Kunzite's sister, I remembered. She was wearing a nightgown, and clutching what appeared to be a slightly tattered stuffed bear with a bow. I sighed, imagining what must have happened. As it grew late, she was put to bed. Being in a strange and unfamiliar place, alone, while her parents attended the ball, she had a nightmare. Her nanny was probably asleep or at the ball herself, leaving the girl to wander alone in the strange hallways at night. I remembered my first night at Thymos, through I had remained in my bed, covers over my head so that I would not see the witches that hid in the shadows of my room.

"Are you lost?" I asked as I stepped out. She leapt back with a squeak, dropping the teddy. She looked at me wide-eyed, then snatched up the bear. I tried to smile a little at her, displaying my hands open, the universal gesture of peace. "It's all right. Do you remember me?"

She nodded yes. "Mizby and I saw monsters," she told me, and I assumed 'Mizby' was the bear.

"Your mother and father are at the ball...."

"No! I want to see Kunzite," she started forward, looking worried and tears beginning to form in her ice blue eyes again.

"Kunzite is in the ballroom too. You really should be getting back to bed. It's very late....."

"But the lady!"

"What lady?"

She took a step away from me and hugged Mizby tighter. "There were monsters."

The poor kid. She must have thought her nightmare was real. "It's all right. Come on. What's your name?"

"Ivy. And this is Mizby."

I bent down to her eye level and introduced myself. "It's nice to meet you, Ivy. Mizby. But, Ivy, there aren't any monsters."

"But Kunzite!"

I smiled, shaking my head at her protest. "It's all right, alanna. Kunzite's fine. Believe me. I left the ballroom a few minutes ago. And this is Thymos palace. One of my best friends is the Mistress of the Horse, and she and I both helped with security here. We wove lots of spells and have lots of guards to protect everyone. No evil monsters could dare get inside." I fought to keep my voice from getting patronizing or doing fake kiddie-talk. She looked about four, and they are so adorable at that age. Ivy was looking up at me, wide eyed. It's so strange when children suddenly adore an 'adult' that they barely know. But it's very sweet. "We'd fight off all the monsters," I finished, standing.

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure. You really should get back to bed. It's very late," I yawned, and stretched a little. "See? Even I'm tired. I was going to my own bed."

Ivy seemed a little uncertain for a moment, then nodded. "You're sure Kunzite's safe?"

She was so worried. Dreams can seem too real sometimes, I suppose. "Very. Come on," I offered her a hand, and she took it. I tried to remember where Kitsune and I had placed Kunzite's family. It wasn't far from the rooms he usually used, if I remembered correctly. I heard Ivy trying not to sniffle. Runny noses are gross. When we finally arrived at her apartments, I found the door open. I took a breath and prepared to act. "All right," I told her. "Stay behind me. I'll check for monsters."

She nodded, hugging Mizby, and peering around my skirts. I took a breath, then leapt into the room theatrically, whirling with my hands up in a defensive position. I flicked on the light, brightening the room. A hand clutched at my gown.

"Are there any?"

"Nope. All clear. We're safe."

Ivy smiled, and I shut the door as she went further in. I spotted some tissues on a table, and headed Ivy off before she could wipe her nose with the back of her hand. "Here. Tissue. Blow." She blew. This felt very strange, putting her to bed. There weren't many children at the palace, and I was unaccustomed to caring for them. I hoped I was doing this right. I could just see myself mentally scarring a child for life, making her think there were no such things as monsters.

Kunzite's family was among the wealthiest of the nobility, as was my own. The apartments allotted to his family were spacious, and well furnished, with the sleek Doric style architecture that was used so frequently in this area of the world. Ivy was walking into what I assumed was her room, so I followed, wanting to make sure she was there all right. As I got to the doorway, she was checking under the bed. "None there," she informed me seriously.

"Good. You know what monsters hate the most?"

"No. What?" She scrambled onto her bed, and I came and sat down beside her.

"They hate it when people aren't afraid of them. That's the best way to fight a monster. To be brave."

"But what if they're scary?"

"Even more reason to be brave."

"What if you're scared?"

Wow. What they say about kids having a million questions must be true. Well, what if you're scared? "Then you be brave anyway. Courage is when someone is scared, but they fight despite it," she pulled the covers up, and I tucked them around her. She yawned. "It's not courage if you're not afraid. Showing fear is what monsters feed on. It makes them grow and lets them attack," Iwatched as she closed her eyes sleepily, curling up around Mizby.

"But the lady...wasn't a...mon...." she began to drift away. This was so strange, for her to keep returning to this 'lady'.

"What lady?" I asked.

"The lady...with the blonde hair...she...."A long yawn ended the words, and she sighed into sleep. For a question of a dream, I decided not to wake her. I turned the light off at the doorway, and could only see her little figure from the patch of light the room beyond allowed in. I felt so odd. It was indescribable, really, but I wondered if this was what a mother felt like. Ivy was so tiny, even for her age, and the image of the little girl lost in the darkness of the night would be enough to turn almost anyone's heart to mush. She was so cute. I wondered, for a moment, what my own children would be like. I shivered, suddenly. My children. I never really gave it thought before. As the heiress to the Earth Kingdom, it would be my duty to continue the line. With...Endymion. I didn't want to think about that, now. But there would have to be at least one child. What would she be like? Sweet, like Ivy? Or with that nasty temper I was so well known for as a child? Or like Endymion, to whom everything came easily? Or Gaia, strong and regal? Oh, Goddess, I would be a mother someday. That was strange, too strange, and I had to leave Ivy to her sleep, which I hoped was free of dreams.

I locked up the apartments with my code word, shutting the door with a click. My head was too full of thoughts to go to sleep now, and I feared what dreams may come to me in the night. Too many worries prevent decent dreams. I returned to the long hallways, where windows let in the brightness of the night. Outside the window, I happened to see the low dome of the temple, and the gardens that surrounded it. The temple? Of all the places in the palace, the temple remained as ancient as possible, with few spells woven into the fabric of its walls, and no guards to watch over it. Only gardens to surround it and statues of the godsand goddesses to protect it. And so I went there for peace.

The gardens were in bloom, this being the spring, and Gaia's white orchids were closed tightly for the night. Roses were blooming here as well, white ones as pale as ghosts, haunting the shadowed corners. The garden was slightly wild, though a careful eye would notice the careful weeding of the flower beds. I came to the temple entrance, and stepped inside, glancing at the reliefs of the gods on the walls. The gods of this land were depicted there, scenes from local mythology. Zeus Thunderer and Hera. Athena Hope of Soldiers and Artemis Huntress and Poseidon the Earth Shaker. Apollo and Hermes and Hades, Lord of the Dead. Demeter of the Harvest and Hecate of the Hidden Moon. Aphrodite of the Sea Foam. All painted into the reliefs, hundreds of years ago when this place was first built.

There was an undying fire at the prayer altar, flames lit centuries ago and never gone out. There usually were two shrine maidens who tended the temple, with their childlike High Priest. They were likely asleep now, in their quarters just outside the gardens. So I was alone, and happy that I was alone. I sat down before the fire. I never was one much for fire, but it intrigued me. In my lands, scrying magically was done through a stilled bowl of water. To touch the water's surface with breath would obscure the vision. It was here I first learned that some cultures stare into the flames for their answers and visions.

So I looked, not sure what I should do, or could do. I was untrained in such ways, and usually only priests or priestesses were. The coals burned coldly, black and curling as I stared. In the flames, I could imagine I saw a black ghost, and the flames engulfed her. And as the flames grew to a pitch, I blinked my dried eyes and rubbed them, feeling the scratchy, burning sensation of the cinders.

When my eyes were once again opened, the high fire was low and dull. Sweat broke out on my brows, and I worriedly blew on the embers, encouraging the glow. I could see it now. On the night of my being named heiress, I singlehandedly put out the holy fire. That would go over well, and be a wonderful omen, I was sure. It was far more than unlucky for such a fire to die. I backed away from the fire, once I saw that it was going steadily again. I was probably a mess of ashes now, and I touched my face questioningly, checking my fingers for ash. I found none, but without a mirror, I had that awful feeling there was something on my face, and it wasn't some mustard. I gathered up some courage...hadn't I told Ivy about bravery a few minutes ago? I returned to the palace, feeling less uneasy somehow. I had been worried about the fire...but somehow I felt reassured. Almost as through it were supposed to happen that way.

Absently, I wondered about the blonde lady Ivy mentioned when I reached my rooms. Swallow was asleep in her chamber, the door slightly open. She slept lightly, but I crept softly, shedding my clothes and replacing them with a nightgown. I unbound my hair, which now fell well past my waist. My face was uncharred by the ashes, but I scrubbed it with lemon cream and crushed apricot pits, cleaning out every pore. It felt good, to get it clean. The fire bothered me, but it had been beautiful. And I did see something, even if I didn't know what. I dried my face with a handtowel, patting away the beads of water. I looked into the mirror, and tried once again to see what I would look like when the Golden Crystal was settled around my neck. There was still nothing.

So, how was part one? Good? Awful? I really would like to know! Please review! ^_^ Sooo, on to part two!!!

-Queen