Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel.
Author's Note: I'm looking for a beta reader, so if you're interested, please email me: Little_Glitzy@hotmail.com
Chapter 9
Xandra slid down the wall of her apartment, and put her face into her hands. What the hell was wrong with her?? She didn't want to hurt Zack like that, back there. She liked him. She really did. But it was all just pent-up aggression, and he wasn't hurt that bad. Right?
He had just run off like that. It hurt her. She hadn't wanted to see him go. Watch him leave her. It was just too painful. He might have been one of her very, very few friends. That is, if she hadn't acted like that.
She wasn't in heat. She knew that. If she had been she wouldn't have beaten up on him. She would've done...something else. And he had the cat DNA too, but males didn't go into heat. So what was so wrong with her that she would do this kind of thing? Why?? Sure, she had thought that maybe he had hurt that person, whomever he was, but she didn't have to keep the fight going.
Xandra felt horrible. She wanted to talk to Zack. Just talk to him, and then maybe he wouldn't hate her. Just to try and make it better, which was a little more for her than it was for him. But he probably will hate me anyway; she thought miserably, He'll probably tell me to go to hell and not to ever talk to him again. But I deserve it for what I did. He hung her head. This feeling sorry for yourself crap wasn't doing her any good. Dammit.
She looked down at her arms, stomach, and shoulders. All bruised. Zack did know how to fight. And now she was feeling a tremendous amount of pain because of it. Damn, she had been so scared when he had been pushing her shoulders into the pavement just a few hours ago. Scared that he was going to seriously hurt her, or maybe...kiss her? She wasn't afraid of much, but she couldn't handle thinking about being with a man, especially Zack, for very long. The thought intoxicated her, and that was just about the last thing that she needed. She was almost sure that Zack had absolutely no feelings for her. She'd been through his 'phony sentimentality' speech a hundred times. "It will get me killed." She said to herself, looking down at the floor. As hard as it was, Xandra had to admit one fact: Zack was right.
***Meanwhile***
Max sat back into the chair, one of the only ones in the apartment that she and Kendra shared. He roommate was out at the time, so Max was trying to relax. It wasn't working.
She could barely keep the sadistic smile off of her face. Logan had kissed her. Not some fairy-tale kiss, but it had been nice. It was at the stroke of midnight, she reminded herself quietly, and it's tradition or something. But he wouldn't have done it if Logan hadn't had some kind of feelings for her. Strange. She didn't feel like going to talk to him about it. It was two in the morning. This was a time when normal people, people like Logan, slept.
She wouldn't go and see him until the next afternoon, probably. Enough time for her to think. Think this all through. But one thing was for sure: Max was going to confront him about it. Nicely. She was going to find out how he really felt about her.
***
Zack wasn't hurt. Not that badly, at least. He had one bruise, on his face from the punch Xandra had thrown at him. She'd almost missed. But that wasn't something that he was going to waste his time thinking about.
He didn't even know why the fight had begun. Xandra probably didn't like him all that much, like most of the people that he'd met. Figures. He hoped that he hadn't hurt her. She's been trained you idiot, he thought to himself, she's fine. She's fine. She'll be fine; she can take care of herself. She told me that the very first day that I met her. But he couldn't help but worry.
Zack wondered what she might think if he came to talk to her. No, he told himself sternly, don't even think about it. Maybe I should, just to clear things up. NO. He wasn't ready to risk anything that was already there by going and talking to her. Xandra might just haul off and hit him again. He also didn't want to find out that maybe she really did hate him. Maybe he was right. And the possibility of having something near perfect was a whole lot better than what might happen if he did go over there.
***
I did it. And I can't believe it. I always wondered what it would take to do that. To actually kiss Max. I meant it too, if you were wondering. I wonder what she's thinking right now. I really wish I knew whether or not she has real feelings for me. This kind of waiting and wondering almost kills me. And I think you know why. If it took me this long, I can't even imagine what it will take to do anything else. I wish she had stayed. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so confused. Maybe she resents me for it. God, I hope not. I won't blame her if maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. If I was like her, and practically built so I had trouble recognizing emotions, I'd want to be left alone too. I'll leave her alone for no. Let her sort it all out. She'll come back when she wants to talk about it.
Author's Note: I'm looking for a beta reader, so if you're interested, please email me: Little_Glitzy@hotmail.com
Chapter 9
Xandra slid down the wall of her apartment, and put her face into her hands. What the hell was wrong with her?? She didn't want to hurt Zack like that, back there. She liked him. She really did. But it was all just pent-up aggression, and he wasn't hurt that bad. Right?
He had just run off like that. It hurt her. She hadn't wanted to see him go. Watch him leave her. It was just too painful. He might have been one of her very, very few friends. That is, if she hadn't acted like that.
She wasn't in heat. She knew that. If she had been she wouldn't have beaten up on him. She would've done...something else. And he had the cat DNA too, but males didn't go into heat. So what was so wrong with her that she would do this kind of thing? Why?? Sure, she had thought that maybe he had hurt that person, whomever he was, but she didn't have to keep the fight going.
Xandra felt horrible. She wanted to talk to Zack. Just talk to him, and then maybe he wouldn't hate her. Just to try and make it better, which was a little more for her than it was for him. But he probably will hate me anyway; she thought miserably, He'll probably tell me to go to hell and not to ever talk to him again. But I deserve it for what I did. He hung her head. This feeling sorry for yourself crap wasn't doing her any good. Dammit.
She looked down at her arms, stomach, and shoulders. All bruised. Zack did know how to fight. And now she was feeling a tremendous amount of pain because of it. Damn, she had been so scared when he had been pushing her shoulders into the pavement just a few hours ago. Scared that he was going to seriously hurt her, or maybe...kiss her? She wasn't afraid of much, but she couldn't handle thinking about being with a man, especially Zack, for very long. The thought intoxicated her, and that was just about the last thing that she needed. She was almost sure that Zack had absolutely no feelings for her. She'd been through his 'phony sentimentality' speech a hundred times. "It will get me killed." She said to herself, looking down at the floor. As hard as it was, Xandra had to admit one fact: Zack was right.
***Meanwhile***
Max sat back into the chair, one of the only ones in the apartment that she and Kendra shared. He roommate was out at the time, so Max was trying to relax. It wasn't working.
She could barely keep the sadistic smile off of her face. Logan had kissed her. Not some fairy-tale kiss, but it had been nice. It was at the stroke of midnight, she reminded herself quietly, and it's tradition or something. But he wouldn't have done it if Logan hadn't had some kind of feelings for her. Strange. She didn't feel like going to talk to him about it. It was two in the morning. This was a time when normal people, people like Logan, slept.
She wouldn't go and see him until the next afternoon, probably. Enough time for her to think. Think this all through. But one thing was for sure: Max was going to confront him about it. Nicely. She was going to find out how he really felt about her.
***
Zack wasn't hurt. Not that badly, at least. He had one bruise, on his face from the punch Xandra had thrown at him. She'd almost missed. But that wasn't something that he was going to waste his time thinking about.
He didn't even know why the fight had begun. Xandra probably didn't like him all that much, like most of the people that he'd met. Figures. He hoped that he hadn't hurt her. She's been trained you idiot, he thought to himself, she's fine. She's fine. She'll be fine; she can take care of herself. She told me that the very first day that I met her. But he couldn't help but worry.
Zack wondered what she might think if he came to talk to her. No, he told himself sternly, don't even think about it. Maybe I should, just to clear things up. NO. He wasn't ready to risk anything that was already there by going and talking to her. Xandra might just haul off and hit him again. He also didn't want to find out that maybe she really did hate him. Maybe he was right. And the possibility of having something near perfect was a whole lot better than what might happen if he did go over there.
***
I did it. And I can't believe it. I always wondered what it would take to do that. To actually kiss Max. I meant it too, if you were wondering. I wonder what she's thinking right now. I really wish I knew whether or not she has real feelings for me. This kind of waiting and wondering almost kills me. And I think you know why. If it took me this long, I can't even imagine what it will take to do anything else. I wish she had stayed. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so confused. Maybe she resents me for it. God, I hope not. I won't blame her if maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. If I was like her, and practically built so I had trouble recognizing emotions, I'd want to be left alone too. I'll leave her alone for no. Let her sort it all out. She'll come back when she wants to talk about it.