Chapter 4 - Don't play with fire
Written by Alain Gravel
Story based on characters created by and copyright to GAINAX
http://www.geocities.com/rakna01/
Started on March 9th 1999
First pre-reader draft finished on March 18th 1999
Second pre-reader draft finished on March 24th 1999
Final draft finished on April 10th 1999, revised on May 13th 1999
Final revisions on March 7th 2000
(*) Click to reach translations notes
(number) See the author's notes for details
It was past two in the morning when I came back from Rei's apartment. While I doubted anyone would be awake, which the lack of light suggested, I removed my tie and jacket before entering. It would raise fewer questions if I were to bump into a sleepwalking Asuka.
Trying to make as little noise as possible, I made my way to my room.
"Shin... Shinji?"
I froze. Asuka.
I turned around and noticed that she was lying on a pile of sitting cushions. The way her eyes were half closed suggested I had just woken her up. Damn! I quickly went to my room, threw the tie and jacket in, then proceeded to see what she wanted.
"What are you doing sleeping in the living room?" I asked, seeing she had not fallen back to sleep.
"Waiting for you of course! What do you think you are doing, coming home so late? What time is it anyway?"
"Around two in the morning..."
"Mein Gott! (*) Two in the morning! Where were you all night?"
I really didn't want to have this conversation right now. In fact, I didn't want to talk to her at all.
"At Touji's place of course! Why do you ask? You're not my guardian!"
Asuka seemed taken aback by my sudden outburst. Then, her own temper flared up.
"Anta baka?! (*) We're going on a date tomorrow, unless you've forgotten, you jerk! So I've every right to be worried even if you don't seem to care!"
Now, it was my turn to be surprised. She had tried to stay up all night because she had been worried about our date. She had waited for me... This wasn't the self-centered Asuka I knew. Maybe aliens had come and abducted her, then replaced her with a fake. Quite unlikely. Still, I couldn't help but to soften, even if I wished nothing else but to stay angry with her.
"I'm sorry I made you worry. I'll try and make up for it tomorrow."
Baka! What was I doing? Wouldn't it have been better for everyone to just let her be angry with me? She might have even cancelled the stupid date.
Asuka seemed to calm down herself. In fact, she was smiling slightly. Then that smile turned into a grin.
"I'll make sure you do, Ikari."
She gave me a predatory look. I couldn't help but to shudder in fear.
"So, what are your plans, Third Children?"
This time, it was my time to grin.
"It's a secret. See you tomorrow morning..."
Rapidly, I sneaked away, while Asuka's temper got out of control again.
"A secret? A secret! You... You... Baka!!!"
I groaned when I heard my alarm clock. I would probably
have been tempted to throw it at a wall, if I had been able to find it.
Eventually, I stirred out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. Not fully
awake yet, I crashed into something. The fact that my face was now embedded
into something round and soft had been enough to ring a thousand alarm
bells in my head. I was suddenly quite awake and realized I had sandwiched my nose
right between Misato's breasts.
I must have fainted because the next thing I saw
was a blurry image of Misato's face and I was lying on the floor.
"You didn't drink something from the wrong side of the fridge
again, did you, Shinji?"
I managed to get up.
"No. Just didn't sleep well. Sorry..."
Misato smiled.
"It's ok. So, how did it go?"
She probably read the answer on my face before I
even talked.
"Perfectly, almost as if it had been a dream."
"Well, well, that must have been cute. So, ready
for round two?"
"I guess..."
I didn't sound very thrilled. Misato no doubt sensed
it.
"Chosen already?"
I smiled.
"Quite likely."
She nodded.
"I understand. But still, have fun!"
"I'll do my best." I answered, not really convinced.
But I couldn't help to think about that
date any other way than a chore that needed to be dealt with.
I had everything ready when Asuka finally decided
to show up in the wakened world.
"Guten Morgen!" (*)
"'morning, Asuka."
"So, tell me, what should I wear for our date?"
While I wasn't that eager about this day, Asuka
seemed rather happy right now.
"Keep it simple. Something comfortable. One of your
school uniforms maybe. Or that nice yellow sundress of yours. Just make
sure you have good shoes."
"My school uniform? Shoes? On what kind of stupid
date are you planning to take me?"
I bent down and raised a picnic basket right under
her nose.
"A picnic in the nicest place there is around here.
It's a few hours of walk from here, however..."
"A picnic? That's pathetic!"
"What, would you have preferred staying closed between
four metal walls? You never got out of Tokyo-3, except for that volcano
operation. Don't you think it's time for some fresh air? Or maybe it's
just that you fear you can't handle a little hike..."
This had the desired effect. Nothing like using
that German pride of hers to get what you want.
"Afraid? Me? I'll let you know I am not not in pathetic
shape like those other girls. You'd be dead of exhaustion and I could still keep
going and going, and going..."
"So, you're gonna prove me wrong?" I said, handing
her the basket.
"You can bet on it!"
I couldn't help but to smile.
"Great! Get ready then, we're leaving in twenty minutes!"
"Twenty minutes! I can't get ready in twenty minutes!
I have to dress, eat, take a bath..."
"Half an hour then!"
"Do you want your date to smell bad?"
I sighed.
"All right, all right... we'll leave in an hour then.
But don't complain, if we eat lunch late..."
"I'll be ready before you know it."
Somehow, I doubted it. Why couldn't she be more
like Rei?
"And don't peep while I'm in the bath!"
"Are we getting there yet?"
"Soon."
We had been walking for a few hours now. Up in the
sky, the sun was shining brightly. So far it had been a marvellous day.
Perfect for a picnic. And maybe some other things. I now actually felt
good about the date. It might be pleasing after all.
Maybe I would take Rei on a similar date later.
"Hey! Shinji! You haven't told me. The food is all
supposed to be in this basket, right? So what's with the bag?"
Asuka was pointing to a backpack I was carrying.
"Just some stuff..."
"Some stuff! Don't give me that kind of answer,
baka! I can guess there's stuff in it! What I want to know is what is that
stuff!"
I smiled.
"You'll find out..."
"Why you...!"
"We're here. Look!"
With a finger, I pointed a small lake not too far,
close to the edge of a forest.
"Shinji! It's so beautiful! How come you know this
place?"
"I had some problems once... after the battle with
the Fourth Angel..."
Asuka nodded. I knew she had read my psychological,
historical and battle profiles before the time we first meet.
"I ran away and wandered around Tokyo-3 and the
Geofront for a while. I happened to find this place. I couldn't help at
the time but be fascinated by it. It took me a while to find it again,
but I managed to do it weeks later. There wasn't much to do on week-ends
before you showed up."
A big grin appeared on her face.
"So, my arrival changed your life?"
"Yeah... Now I have twice as much laundry to do, and
trash to pick up..."
"Baka!"
Asuka hit me on the head, but not with the strength
she usually showed. She was smiling and I couldn't help but to smile back
at her.
It only took a few more minutes to reach the lake.
For a while I gazed at it. This was truly the most beautiful place I knew.
"Such a nice weather! And such a beautiful lake!
You should have told me, I would have brought my swimsuit."
For a few seconds, I looked for something in my
backpack and drew out the said swimsuit.
"That's my...! Wait a minute... What are you doing
with that?"
"Well... I didn't want to ruin the surprise... Sorry,
sorry..."
She put her fist under my nose.
"That's not what I mean! You pervert! You looked
through my clothes!"
I took a few steps back.
"I didn't, I swear! I asked Misato! She's a girl,
you're a girl... it's ok... isn't?"
This seemed to satisfy her... A bit. For a short time,
I wondered if I should add that I was the one who usually did all our laundry.
And in due course, I had seen all of her clothes before. Even her
unmentionables. But since she had calmed down, I decided against it.
Besides, it didn't seem like something wise to say. I might have ended up with
some bruises. Although, it could also have saved me some laundry in the future.
"I guess..."
Then she seemed to realize something.
"Where am I supposed to change?"
She gave me a deadly glare.
"So that's what you had planned all along! You took
me here, in a secluded place, just so that you can see me change right
under your nose. You pervert! What's next, taking advantage of my young
and beautiful body?"
I hadn't thought about that, but now that she mentioned
it... No! I tried to ignore those last thoughts. But Asuka noticed the increasing
blush on my face.
"You... you... Don't tell me I'm right? You really
are a pervert!"
I shook my head. She was the one who put that idea into my head!
"No! I swear!" I pointed the edge of a forest nearby.
"You can go there and change! I never thought about doing anything to you!"
Asuka suddenly seemed somewhat disappointed.
"I should have known..."
Damn! Did she really expect me to think about
her in that way? Did she actually want me to think about her in that way?
This was quite an awkward situation. Yet I managed
to smile. It would probably hurt, but if it would make her happy...
"Of course I wouldn't mind if you'd change here..."
"Baka!"
Again, Asuka hit me on the head, this time at full
strength, but a smile on her face. Then she stormed toward the forest.
She quickly came back, wearing only her shoes and
bikini swimsuit. I had a hard time trying not to stare at her. She may
have been only fourteen, but she still had a very nice body.
"Like what you see?"
I nodded. She smiled then threw her clothes on my
face.
"Don't stare like that, you pervert! And now strip
out of those clothes!"
"What?!"
I had expected this, so I was already wearing my
swimsuit under my clothes, but that didn't mean I couldn't play a bit
with her...
"You heard me! Take those clothes off! You really
don't think I'll go swim alone, do you? Sorry if I blew away your plans,
but you won't sit there all afternoon just to stare at beautiful me!"
I took the time to fold her clothes correctly, then
proceeded to unbutton my shirt.
"I don't mind. But I'm not wearing any underwear,
so I hope you don't mind seeing me in the nude."
Asuka's eyes went wide.
"Mein Gott! Stop that! I changed my mind! Just...
Just stay there you... you... pervert!"
I had a hard time not to laugh.
I continued to slowly remove my clothes. Asuka now
had her eyes closed and was mumbling something about guys being all perverts.
"Well, that's what you wanted all along, so go ahead,
take a peek!"
"Why would I want to see you naked! You're just
a skinny little boy! Touji maybe, he's better built than you... Kaji surely...
Anta baka! Look at what you're making me say!"
By that time, her eyes were fully opened.
"Look who is a pervert."
Asuka's cheeks burned with embarrassment. Then
with anger.
"You little..."
"Serves you right for constantly calling me 'baka'."
Asuka's mouth just froze, words lost somewhere.
Then her face softened.
"I don't know why, but you've changed somehow Shinji.
You're not all that wimpy after all. I like that."
Then she winked at me and with a sign, told me to
follow her to the lake.
For almost an hour, we acted as if we were kids, without
worrying about EVAs or Angels, playing in the water and splashing
the other around. Asuka even tried to teach me how to swim... with
more or less success. (1)
I must admit, it had been quite an enjoyable
moment. And I had been surprised to realize I had not even given a
thought about Rei.
When we came back on land, I grabbed two towels
from my backpack and we dried ourselves. Then, I got dressed, while Asuka
decided to take the opportunity to catch some sun.
"Hungry?" I asked, getting a bento box out from the
picnic basket.
"You bet!" she replied, grabbing the box with a
ravenous look.
She started to gulp down the content of the box.
Then, she stretched out her hand.
"Drink."
I gave her a bottle of juice. She drank half of
it in one shot, then went back to her bento box. I had barely began eating
when she was finished. Then, she let herself lie down.
"Not bad. You're not the greatest cook around, but
it's definitely more edible then Misato's... can we actually call her stuff
cooking?"
"Thanks... I guess. It's the first time you've commented
on my cooking."
"Well, like I said it's not that great, but I
do like it."
I couldn't help but to blush.
"Geez. Doesn't take much to please you!"
"Sorry."
"What are you apologizing for? You're such an idiot..."
"Sorry."
She gave me the death glare, but gave up and simply
lay down, closed her eyes and went back to her sunbathing. I finished my
lunch, then put everything back into my backpack and picnic basket. Having
nothing else to do, I couldn't help but to stare down at Asuka. She almost
looked asleep. Her face seemed relaxed and I could see her regular breathing
by the way her chest slowly moved up and down. It wasn't really something
new, but I did have to admit she was beautiful. More than a match for Rei,
actually.
"It's not nice to stare, you know."
"Sorry."
I quickly turned my head away.
"Well, I can't blame you. You're a boy so of course
you can't help but be fascinated by my beauty," Asuka said as she got
up, then leaning down so that I had my eyes just in front of her chest.
"So? What do you prefer? My breasts? My perfect legs? My butt?"
At that point, I was red as a tomato.
"You're so easy to tease, you're almost no fun...!"
she said finally, as she sat down.
Then, a grin appeared on her face.
"Hey! Shinji! Wanna kiss me?"
"What?!"
I had to fight the urge to run away. This wasn't
good. This really wasn't good...
"You heard me... I can tell from the way you're
blushing."
Damn!
"But... but... but... why?"
"I'm bored."
She was bored? She seemed to be enjoying herself
just a few minutes earlier.
"You don't kiss a guy because you're bored!"
She just gave me a wicked smile.
"Maybe it's just an excuse. Maybe I just feel like
it. But you're right. Who'd want to kiss a wimp like you anyway?"
I almost didn't resist the temptation of telling
her Rei already had.
"I'm no wimp!"
"Then show me!"
"I'll show you all right!"
A week ago, it could have been quite an embarrassing
and awkward moment. But my experience with Rei had changed that. I knew
what I had to do.
I didn't really stop to think about what I was doing.
I was just tired of being called names and wanted to shut her up once and
for all. So before I really realized it myself, I had my arm around her
and my lips on hers.
I must admit, it had been quite different than with
Rei. After all, this time, I had been the one to initiate the kiss. I guess
it must have surprised her, because the instant our lips met, all the
muscles in her body went rigid. Asuka didn't react at all for a few seconds.
Had it not been for the sudden increase of her heartbeat, I might
have thought she was dead. Then she went completely limp and her trembling
lips finally accepted the kiss.
I should have stopped at that point. Part of me
was feeling miserable. I was, after all, basically betraying my feelings
for Rei. However, guilt was silenced by the pleasure I felt in the growing
intimacy of the kiss and the arousing feeling of her barely covered body
under my hands.
Then, without warning, Asuka broke the kiss, freed
herself of my embrace and quickly stood up. Her face showed shock and surprise,
then slowly, her expression changed to anger.
"How... how... how dare you!"
I stood up myself, suddenly feeling a surge of anger
similar to hers.
"You asked ME to kiss YOU!"
"You weren't supposed to! You're wimpy little Shinji!
You don't kiss girls!"
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think!"
Asuka furiously shook her head.
"No, no, no... it's something else... must be something
else..."
Asuka then sudden froze, realization hitting her.
"You... you... you knew! You knew exactly what you
were doing... like... like you had done it before. But it's not possible...
not possible... unless... oh, that bitch! You kissed that doll!"
My anger rose equally to hers. This time, she had
gone too far!
"Rei is not a doll, and even less a bitch! Don't
you dare say anything like that again! As for what I do with her... it's
none of your business!"
Her face went blank. Totally blank. For a few seconds,
her eyes seemed completely lifeless. Then the tears came, and with them, a sad
vulnerable look that almost tore my heart in half. What I felt at that moment
was more painful then the slap I received mere moments later.
"You bastard!"
Then, she ran. I stood there, not knowing what
to do, rubbing the cheek she had just hit.
She was almost out of sight when I finally decided
to run after her. I couldn't leave her alone, not in that state of mind.
I had to repair the mistake I had just done. I had to. Not only for her
sake, but also for mine. Because, I realized, her pain was unbearable to see.
I ran as fast as I could.
We ran for a long time. Often, I almost lost her.
Asuka was clearly in better shape than me, for I had trouble keeping up
with her. In fact, at times, I was only able to find her due to sheer good
luck. Still, I managed to follow until she decided to stop. We were somewhere
deep in the forest now and I realized we were, most certainly, lost. I doubted if I
could find my way back to the lake, and I was sure Asuka had not really
tried to remember the path she had took.
I was nearly exhausted when I caught up with her. She was
sitting under a tree, tired herself. Her hair was a mess and I couldn't
help but notice she had several cuts and bruises under the soles of her
feet. She didn't move until I tried to approach her.
"Go away..."
Her voice had barely been stronger then a whisper.
It got definitely louder as I continued, as if I hadn't heard her.
"Go away!"
I continued to ignore her.
"You're hurt, Asuka..."
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
What stopped me was the look on her face, rather
than the words. I had seen her angry before. I had seen her mad before.
I had seen her sad before. But this... It was a look of pure hatred.
"I don't need you! I don't need anyone! Go away!"
This said, she pulled her legs up to her chest,
let her chin rest on her knees and then closed her eyes.
"Leave me alone... just... leave me alone..."
This time, she had said the words between sobs.
I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help her,
but I didn't know how. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't dare talk.
So I did the only think I could think of. I sat down against a tree.
I would wait.
I least I had not ran away.
"Someone! Help!"
No answer. I wasn't quite surprised. It had been
several hours since I had called for help the first time. Somehow, it seemed
that in our race we had lost not only our way but also NERV Security. I
used to find it annoying to know that they were always following us everywhere.
Now, I only wished they were here. The sun had now almost disappeared
and with it my chances of finding my way home. But I had not managed to
resolve myself to leave Asuka alone. And I doubted I could have convinced
her to come along.
So I did the only thing I could do.
I sat down and waited longer.
"Cold."
While it hadn't been said out loud, this single
word startled me. It was the first Asuka had spoken in hours.
"I'm cold and thirsty and hungry..."
If the situation had not been as bad as his one,
I would have been happy to hear her voice again. But right now, I could
understand what she meant. I was hungry myself, enough for my stomach to
actually hurt, my last meal dating several hours back, and quite thirsty
myself. And I had to admit that without a jacket, it wasn't really hot
out here at night. If you considered the fact that Asuka was only dressed
in a bikini swimsuit....
There wasn't much I could do about the hunger. But at
least I could help with the cold.
I stood up and started to unbutton my shirt. This
actually drew a curious look from Asuka. I wasn't sure that she would let
me come close, so I made a ball out of the shirt and threw it at her, where
it landed at her feet. It was a bit colder now only wearing a T-shirt but
it wasn't really something I couldn't manage. Although I couldn't guarantee
I wouldn't catch a cold.
"You don't expect me to put this on, do you?"
I nodded.
"Take it back. I don't want your help."
"Either you put that shirt on or I'll put it on
you myself."
The redhead gave me a disgusted look.
"You wouldn't have the guts to even try."
I snapped. It wasn't really surprising. The tension
had been building up for a few hours now.
Before both of us realized it, I was holding one
of her arms and forcing it's way into one of the shirt sleeves. Asuka started
to struggle but somehow I managed to keep control, most probably because
she was still sitting while I could use all my strength. It took some time,
but I managed to actually get her into the shirt. Then, she tried to remove
it. But I ended her efforts by taking her into my arms as tightly as I
could.
"Let me go!"
"Not until you calm down!"
Asuka started to squirm some more. I barely managed
to keep my hold on her.
"Get your filthy hands off me!"
"I won't. Not until you stop acting like a child..."
This just seemed to make her even angrier.
"I'm not acting like a child!"
"You are. If you weren't, I wouldn't have had to
use force to make you wear this. You would have realized you were cold
and would have put it on your own."
"It's yours!"
I shook my head.
"It's just a shirt, Asuka. Nothing more."
"I don't want your help!"
She was screaming now.
"Doesn't matter."
"It matters to me! I don't want your help! I don't
want anybody's help! I can take care of myself! I've always have, and I always
will! Why are you still here? Why don't you just leave me alone?"
I wasn't sure what to say to that exactly. I wasn't really
sure myself. No, that wasn't true. I knew why. I just didn't want to admit
it. Because if I did, it would just make my life more complicated.
"Because I care about you. I can't leave you when
you're like this, especially if it's my fault."
I was actually surprised I had said that. And I felt
guilty as I suddenly thought of Rei. But it was the truth. I cared about them
both.
"You don't care! If you did, you wouldn't have kissed
her!"
"I only kissed Rei because I care about her
as much as I care about you, Asuka."
Not only did I care about them both, but I also realized
that right now, I needed them both.
"Cut that crap... you don't care about me... nobody
does..."
"This isn't true. I care about you. So does Misato."
"It's a lie..."
I released her from my hold. It would be the only
way for her to trust me.
"It's true. If you look into my eyes, you'll see
it's true..."
Realizing she was free to go, Asuka bounced forward
and jumped to her feet. I was afraid she would run away again when she
turned around and looked into my eyes like I had asked her to.
"I care about you, Asuka."
She just stood still a few seconds. Then tears started
to slowly make their way down her cheeks.
I couldn't help but to smile.
"Come. Let's see if we can manage to keep you warm..."
I invited her to sit right between my legs. In any
other situation, it probably would have looked a bit too intimate for comfort.
But this was not the case. Asuka seemed to think about it for a while,
then a gust of wind made her shiver. Soon, she was back in my arms, sharing
body heat with me, her head resting on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Asuka. I didn't mean for any of this
to happen. I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted this day to be perfect.
I wanted us to have fun as friends."
"Only as friends?"
I didn't answer right away. But I realized I didn't
want to lie to her. The lies had hurt too much already.
"Only as friends. I wanted you to enjoy yourself
so that you could understand that we could be friends, even if I were to
become Rei's boyfriend... I can't stand to see you hurt. And I don't want
to hurt Rei, either. I guess I can forget about being anyone's boyfriend
now. You can say it... I know I'm an idiot..."
"You sure are..."
For a while we didn't talk. We just stayed like
that, close to one another.
"You love her?"
Asuka was obviously quite tired. Her voice was nothing
like it usually was. It sounded a bit like Rei's actually.
"I think I do."
"Did she know about our date?"
"She does, but she doesn't mind. She is amazingly
confident I will choose her."
"You've had sex with her?"
I couldn't help but to blush.
"No! Er... we could have... but we didn't.... I
couldn't... not until I was sure I loved her more than you."
"Will you have sex with her?"
"No. At least, not unless things change."
"Would you like to have sex with me?"
If it was possible, I blushed even harder. What
was with those questions anyway?
"I think... I'd like to. But I can't."
"I see. So you're going to play around with both
of us until you decide, is that it?"
"I'm sorry. I wish there was any other way."
It was true. I didn't want any of us to be involved
in that mess. But I couldn't help it.
"You shouldn't play with fire, otherwise, you'll get burnt."
"I know. All along I knew that dating you both was
a stupid idea. But I did it anyway."
"You know, you ruined my first kiss."
I couldn't help but to gasp in shock.
"What do you mean your first kiss?"
"Exactly what I said."
"But... but... it's not possible! I mean... a girl
as cute as you... Surely a lot of guys asked you out!"
"Just a bunch of pathetic little boys..."
I couldn't help but to suddenly feel very bad.
"I'm sorry..."
Then I realized something.
"But you're the one who asked for it! And you're
the one who broke the kiss! From my point of view, it was quite nice before
you did that..."
"Better than with her?"
I couldn't help but to grin at the thought that
crossed my mind.
"It's hard to say. You didn't give us the opportunity
to get more serious."
"Yeah, you wish!"
"Sure I do."
Asuka suddenly moved in my arms, so that she could
actually look into my eyes. She looked strangely calm.
"You really think I'd let you kiss me knowing you
love another girl besides me?"
"I'd understand if you didn't want to. But I hope
you would."
She rose an eyebrow.
"What happened to my Shinji?"
"I guess, he's gone for tonight."
"Then, if you're not Shinji..."
Her head came closer to mine. A second later, we
were sharing a passionate kiss.
"Well, what a cute couple. Tell me Shinji, am I too
early or too late?"
I slowly opened my eyes. At first, I thought I was
dreaming. Kaji?
"Is it really you, Kaji?"
"In the flesh."
I tried to temper my excitement. I didn't want to
wake Asuka up. Although, she seemed to sleep so soundly in my arms, I wondered
if waking her up was actually possible.
"What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you of course. Misato was worried about
you, you know. And since we had discussed your dating plans, she
naturally came to me for help."
I almost regretted the fact that Asuka was asleep.
Or else, she would have known that there were people who cared about her.
"How did you find us?"
"Pretty simple. I asked my contacts in Security.
It took some convincing, but I finally got your location."
"What?! They knew we were here?!"
I realized I had yelled. Asuka seemed to mumble
something about boys being loud, but didn't seem to wake up.
"Yes. And I'm pretty sure they're watching right
now."
"Those bastards! Why didn't they come when I called
for help?"
"It would have been against their orders."
I raised an eyebrow. While I was still mad, I gave
Kaji an inquisitive look.
"Orders?"
"Yes. They were not to interfere in any way, unless
your lives were threatened. They were only to observe."
"Who gave that order?"
I knew the answer to that question already. I knew only one man who
could manipulate people like this. What I couldn't figure out was why.
"Commander Ikari."
"Why?"
"I can only guess. The most logical reason would be
to ensure that the relationship between you and Asuka has a chance to develop;
and judging by the way you are holding her, I think his plan is working.
If you were to fall in love with Asuka, then you would lose interest in Rei.
That way, your father would have complete control over her like he used to."
"The goddamn bastard!"
All of my life I had hated the man who was my father
for leaving me. Yet, I had never really resolved myself to hate him completely.
Some part of me had always hoped we could get together, learn about each
other and become a family once more. That part of me died that night. This
time, Ikari Gendo had gone too far. I could accept being manipulated by
him. I really didn't mind actually. That way, I didn't have to choose for
myself what was my life. I just had to live it. It was easier. But what
he had done now, trying to manipulate Rei and Asuka, trying to control
the two people who mattered most to me... I couldn't forgive. I wouldn't
forgive.
Making sure I carefully picked Asuka up in my arms,
I stood up.
"We're tired, Kaji. Can you take us home?"
Kaji gave me a worried look.
"Are you sure you can carry her like that? I have
a jeep nearby, but it's still a fifteen minute walk..."
"She's heavy, but it's not a burden. I don't know...
I don't feel as weak as I used to be. I should be fine. I need to do this.
I need to show her that I care about her."
Kaji smiled.
"You've grown up, Ikari Shinji."
"No, I'm still a kid. I've just decided not to run
away anymore."
"That's what I said. You're definitely a man now."
Was I? I didn't think so. I still couldn't choose
between Rei and Asuka. And I still had to face the Commander.
[To be continued...]
Next time:
The One I Love Is...
Chapter 5 - The more things change, the more they stay the same
Omake:
"Oh man! No new movies this week! This sucks!"
said Kensuke.
"Well, we haven't seen that movie yet..." replied
Touji a grin on his face while pointing to a title in the list of films featured
by the Tokyo-3 Movie Center.
"It's a porn!"
"I know!"
Touji's smile just got wider. Kensuke began developing
a big sweat drop.
"It's a foreign movie! It's not even in Japanese!"
"Who cares! What I'm interested in is not the story..."
Kensuke had to repress a nosebleed.
"They won't let us in, we're too young anyway..."
"Damn! You're right..."
Kensuke smiled in triumph.
"Touji, you're really a pervert you know..."
"Shaddup!"
Suddenly, inspiration hit the taller boy.
"I know, let's go see Ikari! With any luck, Misato
will be there..."
Touji started to drool at the thought.
"Come on Touji, is THAT the only thing on your mind?"
"Just try and say that you don't dream about her
at night!"
"Actually, I thought you dreamt about Hikari!"
Kensuke grinned as Touji went white.
"If my sources are accurate, I've heard you stayed
late at her house after her birthday party..."
"Hey! We only watched a movie!
"A romantic one surely. So, what did you do? You
put the moves on her? You kissed her? Or did you two make passionate love on
the couch in front of the TV?"
"Kensuke!"
Kensuke would probably have laughed, if a fist had
not almost broken a few of his teeth.
"Shut up and get a move on! Ikari - and Misato - are
waiting for us!"
"Shinji-kun is not home. You won't find him there."
This startled both boys. Turning around, they realized
Rei had just exited the theater.
"Ayanami!" said the boys in unison.
"He is on a date with Sohryu right now."
Touji smacked his forehead.
"Damn! I forgot!"
"What?" said Kensuke, shock readable on his face.
"Shinji is dating the Demon and you didn't tell me? Worse, you knew and
didn't stop him?"
Touji just shrugged, then looked at Ayanami.
"So... You know. How do you feel about it?"
"I do not feel anything. I am not worried. He will
choose me over her."
"What? Does this mean he dates her, TOO?"
Touji nodded.
"Oh man! My sources are really getting lazy! How
come I didn't know about this?"
"Shinji didn't want the Demon to find out..."
explained Touji.
"Oh..."
Both boys nodded. They could understand Shinji's
desire to keep his double dating secret. If Sohryu were to find out...
"So, Ayanami, what movie did you just see?" asked Kensuke.
"That one."
With a finger, Ayanami pointed to a title. Touji and
Kensuke gasped when they saw it.
"You watched THAT movie?"
"How... how did you get in?"
From a pocket, Ayanami drew out her NERV ID card.
"Oh man! I want to be part of NERV, too. They have
the guns, the EVAs, the cool IDs and the girls!"
"You can try and apply for a job. However, you will
be refused since you have not finished High School yet."
Kensuke seemed almost ready to burst into tears.
"Why did you watch that movie?" asked Touji, obviously
curious to know why a girl would want to watch an adult movie.
"To learn how to be a good mate for Shinji-kun."
Both Kensuke and Touji gasped again. They were
about to ask Ayanami a hundred questions about her relationship with their
friend when they realized she was already a few good meters down the street.
"That girl is strange." finally said Kensuke after
Ayanami was out of sight.
"Yeah... I envy Ikari. Just think about all the
things they'll do together..."
Touji was drooling again.
"Come on, let's go to Ikari's apartment!" said Touji
as he dragged Kensuke along.
"But he's not there!"
"How can we be sure unless we go and ask Misato?"
Kensuke then understood what Touji had in mind.
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