Sanctuary Part Five
By Shannon Kathleen
POTTER BED AND BREAKFAST
Midnight three days later
Bessie helped her little sister out of the truck. It was nearly midnight when the reunited family finally made it home as the night sky threatened to pour down on Capeside. Joey had been released from Capeside Medical Center, but spent the entire evening at the police station. At first Joey tried to convince Doug to drop the charges on Will. She was certain that it he had not meant to kill her, and that it was only a small domestic assault, but Doug acted like he wanted to see Will in jail permanently.
"Joey, he did this to you on the highway in front of God and the rest of the world," Doug said while tightening his jaw. "He was cocky and felt such possession of you that he felt he could do this and get away with it."
Joey glared back at him. During high school, she had come to trust her ex-boyfriend's brother. He had also come to see her as a little sister, and she could tell he had missed her. He was just too close to.... Pacey could never see her like this, she swore.
"Doug, what are you trying to do?" Joey bit her lower lip to control her anger. "I just want to drop this. I don't want anyone to know this was not just some simple accident everyone has once in their life."
Joey raised her arm to lightly touch her bruised cheek, a new habit she had started, and glanced at the bandages running up and down her arm.
"Doug, I just arrived home, and you are going to give this town something more to talk about behind my back. These marks on my body will disappear one day, please, just let them disappear."
Bessie looked at her quiet sister, remembering Doug's disappointed look. She could read the disgrace and shame on her sister's face even from the dark truck.
"We're home now." Bessie comforted Joey. "Your old bed has been waiting for you. Sure, it might have been serving as an additional guest room, but it's yours for as long as you would like it."
Joey pushed the emotions accompanying her return home into the back of her mind at least for the night as she slipped under the covers. While in the hospital, she had had vivid dreams of Pacey freeing her from the nightmare she would wake up to again in the morning. His memory that had always haunted her now suddenly began to comfort her. She could feel him, almost smell him, and feel his touch just by coming home. As the pain settled, Joey began to doze when the sound of her door creaking startled her.
"Joey, it's just me." She recognized Dawson's voice.
"Dawson?" Joey said as she sat up to smile in his direction, ignoring her sore muscles. She knew he had been terrified, but he had been right by her side these past few days. "Can I stay here with you tonight?" Dawson asked quietly.
"Are you scared of the thunder?" Joey teased.
"Yeah, something like that," Dawson said under his breath.
With the knowledge that she was safe and alive, Dawson fell asleep in the small sofa next to her bed. Joey turned away from him and wondered if Pacey was still in Capeside.
CAPESIDE POLICE DEPARTMENT
The next morning
Pacey took one last swig of his black coffee, threw the Styrofoam cup in the recycle bin and lay his head down in his folded arms on his brother's desk.
"So, you knew it was her," Doug came into the room and dropped several file folders on his desk, startling the dozing Pacey.
"I could just tell," Pacey said lethargically.
Doug shook his head, recognizing his younger brother's pain. Doug had watched Pacey move from his contemptuous younger brother to a man anxious to make something of his life and overcome the obstacles in his past, which was the reason Pacey's actions at the accident bothered him.
"I just couldn't stay because I was scaring her. She went hysterical when she saw me. There were others helping her though." Pacey said, looking up and sniffing slowly. "I saw everything though. His only accident was doing it in front of me. I don't know if he seriously wanted to debilitate her, but he wanted to hit her. I'm completely sure of that. He cocked his Mitsubishi, took aim and made no attempt to miss her at the last minute."
Doug nodded as he mused over Pacey's story.
"Something happened inside the car before because it suddenly swerved in my lane, and I was going the opposite way." Pacey replayed the entire scene to Doug.
"Well, she wants to drop the charges." Doug said regretfully.
POTTER BED AND BREAKFAST
Two days later 3:30
Bessie watched from the kitchen window as her sister slowly limped to the dock where the family boat had been docked since she was born. Joey had not moved much all day, so her sudden migration had caught Bessie's attention especially after the fidgety blonde teenager, who had been talking to Joey, had left running from their backyard.
Bessie remembered that earlier that morning, Joey had looked out the backdoor and squinted as the bright sun hit her in the face for the first time since she came home from New York. Her childhood home had become a safe haven as she healed. Bessie just watched her walk without a word out into the backyard, where she laid in a lawn chair all morning. Anna and Alex had kept her company as she watched them play on the swing set that Bodie had recently built, but even they were beginning to notice something strange about their aunt.
Joey was not giving many clues to her feelings. Bessie had accidentally overheard a telephone conversation Joey had had yesterday with Andie, which made Bessie think Joey might be having more troubles than she knew. "Have I received any messages?
Well, does anyone call for me?
Oh, OK, Andie I'll call again in a few days.
No, well…I don't know when I am going to be ready to come back."
"Listen…just please look out for any word from those companies.
Yes...I know I'll keep looking.
Yes…I'm feeling fine.
If you want to come up next weekend, that's fine, but you don't need to feel like you have to.
I know, yes, I know. OK, talk to you later.
Bye."
Was that depression she detected in her sister's voice? If not, it was at least disappointment.
As Joey headed to the rowboat, Bessie hesitated about whether to be worried. She wanted to be that guardian she had been since Joey was in junior high school. She wanted to run after her to ask her when she was going to be home, where she was going and maybe if she could go with her too. But Bessie had to relinquish that role in Joey's life. She was now her sister, who could still watch over her, but from a distance.
Bessie walked out to the lawn chair about an hour after Joey disappeared down the creek. She must have taken her drawing pad because Bessie was sure she had seen her with it earlier. She prayed Joey had started to draw again. Bessie noticed a crumpled piece of paper lying next to the chair. She pulled it open to see the exact scene, Joey had painted on a wall in town years ago.
The painting had captured Joey's hopes, dreams and desires five years ago. What a revelation for Joey, Bessie remembered. She opened her life to the public and let them see her future. It now lay on the ground in a crumpled heap a little bit like she had several days ago. A few feet away, Bessie stooped to pick up a strange leather box and some of its strewn contents. A bewildered Bessie looked toward the dock, instinctively praying the little rowboat would make it back to the dock safely as it had for some many years.
DOWNTOWN CAPESIDE
Earlier that same day
Dawson felt miserable as he threw his bag into the backseat of his parents' SUV. Joey needed him the most right now and he was choosing his career over his best friend. She had forced him out of her house to catch his flight back to LA, he reminded himself. She had insisted his internship was more important.
As he drove the car down Capeside's town center to meet his parents at their restaurant, Dawson's heart beat fast and he knew he could not avoid glancing over at Joey's huge thumbprint left on Capeside years ago. The town had turned the abandoned lot with her painting into a small garden plaza with a gazebo, a fishpond and a small fountain.
This time he was compelled to stop. Dawson slowly got out of the car and breathed in the meaning in her art. But this time, Dawson looked at the large gulls, Joey had painted soaring over a lazy creek into the free sky, and he noticed that they looked different. He had always know this was Joey's symbol of the freedom she was gaining from this place, but now he was not sure if it looked like the birds were actually leaving the Creek. It almost looked like they were arriving at their summer destination after a long hard winter migration…as if they were coming home.
As he turned, he glanced back and noticed a single red rose under the painting. The card was addressed to Joey, "Get Well Soon," it said. Someone must have left it here after reading the story in the newspaper about the accident. Then he noticed another small bouquet with the same sediment.
Dawson jumped back in his car and pulled into the Capeside Marina. Running down onto the docks, Dawson noticed Pacey tying up a boat that he had just gassed up.
"Pacey," Dawson shouted, running toward him.
"Hey, man," Pacey half-smiled as he extended his hand to his friend. "What are you doing down here this early? I thought you decided against "the three-hour tour."
When Pacey noticed Dawson's creased forehead and firm-set mouth, he instantly started to worry. He knew that look. Pacey searched his mind to recollect what had could have done wrong this time.
"I have to tell you… I've been holding this in too long. Joey just graduated from college last weekend. I figured you would be hurt if you were not invited, so I did not tell you." Dawson said.
"Man, Joey and I've not spoken in years." Pacey turned to face Dawson. "Why would that hurt my feelings?"
"Pacey, the reason I didn't go out on the boat with you yesterday was 'cause I have been worried about Joey."
Pacey shook his head violently.
"No, no, man, not another favor to look after Joey for you…no not that again."
"I don't know if you heard, but she was in an accident on her way home Saturday."
Pacey could not pretend to be surprised or upset as Dawson revealed more about Joey's shameful experience than the newspapers did. All Pacey could think to do was nod solemnly ignoring his nausea, which was not the reaction Dawson expected.
"What has happened to you, Pacey?" Dawson ranted.
"What do you mean," Pacey instantly pulled back to put up the defense. Pacey found it hard to swallow all of a sudden. He remained quiet to let Dawson finish.
"You could care less about any of us, it seems. What did Joey do to you for you to punish her and us like this?"
"It's so like you, Dawson, to think about your place in my relationship with Joey," Pacey turned away.
Dawson hesitated as Pacey turned to tie up the next boat pulling into the dock.
"We're best friends then," Dawson shouted after him. "Look what's happened since we have left. It might be the rest of the world's fault or it could be just us acting like imbeciles, but something needs to change before we all become victims like Joey."
"Oh, like you have so much experience in the victim department," Pacey said slowly as he stared at Dawson.
"Well, I can see that the world is crappy out there," Dawson spouted. "We did not know how good we had it here."
"Well, hombre, this is where you get the answer to the question you asked earlier about what happened to us," Pacey hopped back up on the deck where Dawson stood. "You've gotten the chance to see how crappy the world is out there. I'm still in the same chapter of my life when we graduated from high school."
Dawson did not know how to respond and just let his shoulders sag as he exhaled.
"Joey would've left me and started the new chapter in her life." Pacey exhaled too. "I would always be one chapter behind."
"That does not seem like you, Pace," Dawson looked into his face. "So, you gave up on her without a fight. You were thinking of how this would hurt you in the long run and started to curl up in a fetal position to protect yourself."
Pacey maintained eye contact with Dawson threateningly, but Dawson kept talking.
"It must not have been true love because you wouldn't have been worried about your own feelings."
Pacey surrendered and looked to the ground. His heart was on fire with anger and intense regret.
"And now after telling you about Joey's accident, you don't seem to care that she has been through hell in a time she was suppose to finally reach her goals."
"You don't even know what you are talking about." Pacey looked up, his anger showing through his eyes. "Dawson, I had to let her go. Yeah, she said 'no' when I asked her to marry me, and then I have to watch as she would rather have someone kick her in the ass. Yeah, I got a front row seat."
POTTER BED & BREAKFAST
3:15 p.m. Same day
Rachel dropped Pacey's box in the passenger seat of her Acura Integra. She remembered this infamous Josephine Potter for sure now. She was the girl who painted the wall on Second Street several years ago that now had become a permanent part of Capeside's eyesore collection, Rachel thought bitterly. According to her older sister, Joey's family owned the Potter B&B on the north side of town, and she was going to see for herself if Joey knew that her boyfriend was still in love with her.
Rachel followed the map she found in the Capeside Chamber of Commerce to the Potter B&B as she remembered watching the girl working on her painting every afternoon for several months. She became a regular sight for Capesiders on their way to the marina. The town had spent a long time wondering what she would create. Rachel and her other seventh-grade friends would make bets. Rachel felt betrayed that Pacey had never told her that he had initiated the birth of the wall. In some way, it had been Pacey's and Joey's first child, Rachel said in disgust to herself.
When Rachel pulled into the parking lot around the back of the house, she almost instantly pulled away, but she would have still felt this rage inside. What did she have to lose anyway, she asked herself again. Rachel recognized the girl from Pacey's photos sitting in the sun in a chaise lounge with her head limp and falling onto her shoulder, her eyes hidden behind dark glasses. She noticed the cast on her wrist, but did not give it a second thought. Rachel crept up half hoping not to startle her and half enjoying the temporary power she had over this vulnerable woman because when she awoke, Rachel knew Joey would have all the power. Rachel glanced down at the tattered drawing pad that dangled on the edge of her knee open to sketches of birds in flight.
Joey woke from her doze with a start, feeling the presence of someone standing near her. When she realized her instincts were right, Joey jumped so high she flew off the chair and landed on her back on the other side. Thankfully, she landed on her good hip.
"Oh no…oh my God." Rachel dropped Pacey's box and ran over to the other side of the chair to help Joey up. Joey just moaned and resisted help from Rachel in getting up.
"I'm so sorry for disturbing you," Rachel suddenly lost her nerve and began to stutter. "Are you all right?"
Joey looked up, trying to recognize the young blonde teenager as the sun shone in her eyes. "Yeah, I'm just a little jumpy, but please just keep this to yourself. I need to protect my reputation. You know…as a woman with one ounce of grace."
Rachel smiled in relief at her dry humor.
"Can I help you with something?" Joey wrinkled her forehead, still not able to place the girl who had walked into her backyard. "Are you a guest? My sister's in the kitchen if you need…"
Rachel laughed with embarrassment and stood up from where she had been kneeling to help Joey. "Oh, no…no..." She turned away quickly to clean up the contents of the box she had spilled when Joey fell.
"What…what're you doing with that?" Joey suddenly jumped up from the lounge chair and demanded of the kneeling girl, who fell back on her heels. "That's my drawing…of Pacey. What's all this?" Joey began to tremble with confusion as she sifted through the private letters in her own handwriting.
"Who are you?" Joey looked up, her brow furrowed, her mouth in a scowl. "Come back, please, and tell me where you got these things." She demanded as the blonde turned around and ran from the Potter's backyard. Rachel suddenly connected this girl, Joey, to the girl lying on the side of the road and she remembered Pacey's sudden burst of emotions after the accident a few days ago. Realizing she had been in the dark about too many things, she suddenly bean to feel guilty about her violation of Pacey. But she knew that she had suddenly become an important part in this girl Joey's life and finally, for the first time, an important part in Pacey's.
To be continued...
Sanctuary Part Six
By Shannon Kathleen
CAPESIDE MARINA
10:30 a.m. Rewinding the same day
"Yeah, she said 'no' when I asked her to marry me, and then I have to watch as she would rather have someone kick her in the ass. Yeah, I got a front row seat."
Dawson's mouth jerked open, and he stepped back shocked by his outburst. Pacey started to take it back as soon as he let it slip from his mouth, but Dawson interrupted.
"You saw...you were there…and you left her there…to die?" Dawson found it hard to look at his friend.
"Dawson, please, I was not the only one there." Pacey shook his head, begging him to understand. "I did the only thing I knew I could do. I will not…I refuse to be the bad guy in this story."
"Oh, and also when did you ask her to marry you…at 18? Why then were you surprised that she said 'no'? I guess you didn't know Joey very well." Dawson scoffed.
"I guess I shouldn't have told you about that right now."
Dawson still looked at him as if he expected an explanation for the secret both his friends had been keeping from him.
"To clear this up…before she left, I asked her to marry me. I guess it would have been this summer. It was a stupid move…I just wanted to give her…a part of me she could take with her…until I could catch up…"
Dawson just stared at him as his words trailed off.
"I suddenly became enemy number one in her eyes as if I was trying to take away her chances of leaving this town." Pacey turned back suddenly remembering her lying on the side of the road.
"Oh, God, Dawson, you don't know how much I wanted to pick her up off of the ground, put her back on her feet and feel her suddenly give me the Potter right hook for saying or doing something typically wrong." Pacey groaned. "I just make bad decisions… But she chose someone who almost killed her in the end and that makes me angry…angry at her, at the world and life in general."
Dawson wondered if things would ever be right between the people he loved. He wanted Joey to stop hurting. He just learned now how Pacey has been hurting for years too. He wanted things back to normal, but his idea of normal was childhood, which he could never return.
POTTER BED & BREAKFAST
3:30 p.m.
On her hand and knees, Joey crawled to save some of the letters and drawings that had started to blow away from her grasp toward the water's edge. She fell helplessly as pieces of her past started to fly away.
"He saved me," Joey whispered to herself as she stared down at photos he had taken the year they spent together. "He preserved who I once was."
Joey closed her eyes tightly when she noticed the small black jewelry box, and she avoided opening it. She traced her finger over the small sandwich bag of sand and seashells they had gathered from Florida when they first fell in love. He kept all of the sketches he had done on their trip down the coast that she was sure she had thrown away.
Even though, Joey had given Pacey most of the things in the box, she felt she was invading his privacy by seeing them again. Joey tried to gather most of Pacey's memories and put them back, but her entire body had begun to shake uncontrollably. She forced herself up to walk away as she tried to gain composure. She limped down to the dock and into her rowboat. Her feet knew her usual route to Dawson's when she felt overwhelmed like this even after all these years. But he was gone now. She was left to face this on her own.
Her only real North Star had been to get out of Capeside. 'Where do I go now?' she asked looking upward for the answer.
"So, this who I am?" Joey looked back at her house as she sat down in her boat. "And this is all I know?"
Joey realized she was clinging to a small newspaper clipping from the box in her balled-up fist. She had unconsciously rescued it from the dock right before it flew into the water. Letting her rowboat drift, she took a closer look. It was a mundane Capeside City Council story from last October. But a small photo of her wall mural caught her attention amidst the gray story of the city's plan to move the Capeside historical society into an abandoned building downtown.
"Capeside Yacht Club manager Pacey Witter has agreed to donate his share of 215 Second Street - the left wall - to the City of Capeside. Witter finally bought the rights to the wall in 2003 from the current owner, after leasing it since 2000 to preserve a mural, painted while the building was vacant. His primary request last night was for a promise in return never destroy the painting or the ownership would automatically revert back to him. He also asked for the city to improve and maintain the lot around the wall and the actual painting with Capeside City Beatification money.
My wall, Joey mused. Well, no it was Pacey's wall now, knowing she had abandoned it years ago. She suddenly realized that she had walked away from everything in this town, everything that she was ashamed to be…and he continued preserved it all with pride, maybe in case she ever came looking for that girl again. Had that time come already?
ACROSS TOWN
6:30 p.m.
Pacey wanted to drive by the Potter Bed and Breakfast this evening…just to face her for the first time in years. This wasn't the first time he had had to control this urge. His thoughts kept replaying what Dawson had said that morning. How could he and Dawson reclaim what they had as friends? He doubted that would ever happen. Everyone had some kind of personal vendetta against him.
Pacey threw down his mail on his dining room table next to the open letter from Boston University and flopped into his chair. One envelope caught his eye right away. The return address was marked Professional Photographers Association. Knowing it was too heavy to be a rejection letter, Pacey tore into it.
Dear Mr. Witter,
We would like to congratulate you for being selected as our second place winner in our student photographic competition.
Enclosed please find a proof of the magazine pages where a selection of your portfolio will be published in a future issue of Photography Today…
You have been invited to attend the annual PPA gala to honor your photography. At that time you will be awarded with your $8,000 scholarship from the PPA Educational Fund.
Pacey dropped the letter, let out a small yelp and searched for the proof in the envelope. His throat tightened up and his heart pulsated rapidly. Two-page spreads of his own work stared him back in the face. He blinked back hot tears and his throat had dried up completely, so he could barely swallow.
Pacey had chosen to send in the pictures that he had taken one weekend when he had been studying the kids who had taken Dawson, Joey and his place as regulars to the Capeside Public Park. The largest picture in the magazine spread had been his favorite too. Pacey watched a little girl dare the her two male playmates that she could beat them in a contest on the swings. Pacey caught the three of them at just the moment when the fair-haired little girl let go of the swing and flew into the air, capturing the boys' surprised, unconcealed admiration and her brave, fearless spirit all in one shot.
He called the photograph "Fearless: How I Remember Joey."
He knew he had to give her this picture that she had inspired him to take. An ecstatic Pacey ran out the front door of his apartment, stopping to jump up and swat the front porch light in a macho gesture of victory. This time he hit it so hard, it crashed down on his head as his feet finally touched the ground. He covered his mouth in shock at the shattered glass light fixture on the ground and started to laugh out loud. Leaving the mess for later, Pacey raced to his truck. He was not afraid of Joey, Dawson or anyone anymore.
POTTER BED & BREAKFAST
7:25 p.m.
Pacey slowly walked to Joey's front door. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and cleared his throat before knocking. Bessie answered anxiously at his first small knock. He was still flying too high to realize the awkwardness of his visit.
"Pacey," Bessie jumped back at the sight of him. She seemed worried and confused to see a face from the past. "What year is it?"
Pacey chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry…um…I guess I've not come around much. I'm sorry for that…" Pacey cleared his throat and looked down at his feet.
"Well, I know you didn't come to see me," Bessie looked at the flowers in his hand.
"Well, I just wanted to drop these…"
"Pacey, she's not here…I don't know where she is either," Bessie, forehead creased, summoned him into the foyer. "She hasn't left the house since she came home from New York… you probably heard about the accident…but earlier this afternoon she went for a trip down the creek and hasn't come home yet. That was HOURS ago."
"She took the boat," Bessie continued.
Pacey was halfway to the door before she finished the last sentence, dropping his flowers on the porch steps as he ran to his truck. He traveled to Dawson's home in five short minutes, where Pacey found Dawson's old rowboat with a small motor tied securely to the dock.
TWO MILES DOWN THE CREEK
6:00 p.m.
Trying to control her pounding head, Joey leaned against the sternum of the boat and closed her sore eyes, letting her arm trail through the cool water. She just kept hearing over and over in her mind how much of a failure she had become. Joey had finally begun to accept that she had lead herself to this low point in her life. Her doctor had noticed her lethargy after she had recovered from her shock episode and had forced her an anti-depressant prescription. So maybe it was the medication, but she was starting to feel secure in the very place she had been running from for years.
She knew she had never been true to herself, always fighting some false fear that her life was going to follow the Potter legacy.
Now Joey looked down at the blank sketchpad that she had been carrying around for months. She had been hiding from others that she had loss all desire to draw. So much for dreams and doing anything to achieve them, she thought. In a sudden moment of abandonment, Joey tossed it over the side of the boat.
Her boat continued to drift down her creek as if the years had not passed, a small voice inside telling her it was time to accept her true self and come home. Joey closed her eyes, but this time she did not want to struggle to open them again. As the darkness surrounded her only a second seemed to pass when she felt a sudden jerk as she suddenly lost control of her unconscious paradise.
8:15 p.m.
Pacey had been scouring the creek from Dawson's house to the B&B for almost 30 minutes, when he heard the motor sputtering on the small boat.
"Witter, gas would have helped on this little mission," he scolded himself with words Joey might have used at one time.
Getting out the oars, Pacey realized that the silence of the creek allowed him to hear his own thoughts again, which he had been trying to ignore. His short burst of confidence after receiving the mail was slowly seeping through his skin, and he was starting to shake again.
What could he do to help her? Why was he suddenly forcing himself on her again? Is she still the same? Would she recognize him?
Pacey squinted his eyes to see a small boat drifting in the horizon. Dusk had almost passed, making it hard for him to see. Pacey tried to row faster. As he neared the boat, he noticed an arm hanging over the side of the boat. He suddenly felt like he was trapped in a nightmare, where he could not move his waterlogged feet.
"Jo?" Pacey called out, forgetting about his fear of seeing her again. "Jo? Is that you?"
Pacey felt helpless and imprisoned in his slow-moving boat. In an act of desperation, Pacey slipped off his running shoes and dived right into the dark water. Using all of his strength, he swam to what he was sure was the Potter's boat. Pacey was terrified that even with all the noise he was making, the pale arm he used as his North Star had not moved and he noticed a head resting against the sternum.
"Joey…Jo" Pacey sputtered her name as he gulped for air.
Pacey finally reached out and grabbed her with one arm and the side of the boat with his other. With his adrenaline peaking, he did not realize his strength. To Pacey's shock, the boat almost flipped upside down. Joey was jolted awake and hung on tight to the side before she had the chance to make any noise. Her feet kicked at the water as if she was trying to push herself back down. The boat flopped back down in its proper position, knocking Pacey underwater for a moment and Joey to the floor of the boat.
Stunned, Joey crept to the side, only letting the top of her head peek over the edge enough to see. She screamed when Pacey's dark figure burst to the surface. Grabbing hold of one of her oars, Joey started swinging into the unknown. Her blind aim was perfect. Joey felt and heard the thud as her oar hit Pacey on the side of his head.
A dazed Pacey allowed his body to float as his eyes focused on Joey was rowing away quickly. Pacey tried to call out to her.
"Jo," Pacey voiced cracked in his throat. "JO! Joey, it is me."
He could see her stop at the sound of his voice and turn around slowly as if expecting a ghost to be breathing down her neck. She struggled to see into the dark water.
With uncertainty, Joey mouthed his name, only letting a whisper out, "Pacey?"
"Joey, it's me…Pacey," She could hear him treading the water.
Clumsily, Joey quickly turned around in the boat to row back to him. Dropping the oars on the floor, she leaned over the edge to reach out for him. Her trembling hand finally met his trembling hand. This was not the way Joey ever imagined meeting Pacey again.
As Joey's heart settled down, her strength seemed escalated. Although her arms were covered in lacerations and bruises and her left arm was in a cast, she let him grab onto her forearm to pull him up into her boat.
The boat rocked on its side and started to fill up with water as Pacey slid aboard, sending Joey to the water-filled floor again. A few moments passed as she stared at her former love laying on the other side of the boat. The only thing she could think to say was, "Did I hurt you?"
She did not realize what a loaded question that was. How fitting for being the first thing she said to him in four years, he thought. And he definitely had an answer for her.
"Ah, no," Pacey smiled at her shyly, ignoring the fact that one part of his face felt numb. "I deserved that. I was just having a Prince Charming complex for a minute there."
Joey looked down, realizing that they had been sitting in 6 inches of water. Using her good arm, Joey pulled herself onto the boat's seat.
"Pacey," Joey suddenly registered the events of the last five minutes with annoyance. "Where in the world did you come from? And what are you doing here?"
As Pacey pulled himself up to sit across from her, he let out a nervous chuckle. Pacey almost felt comfortable knowing he would have to be subjected to the Potter wrath for awhile. He had been dreaming about it for such a long time.
"Well, I was taking a swim..."
"Pacey!"
"OK, well, I was just researching a strange fish that you can only see in the dark and has been sighted in this creek – you know, I have taken up marine biology – and your boat happened along…"
"Pacey!"
He looked at her as she bit her lip struggling not to laugh. Of course, she knew that he had been looking for her.
"It's true, now please row me to the edge," Pacey requested. "I am now on the hunt for a runaway boat. If I don't find it, I owe the Leery's a new one."
Pacey scanned the water for some sign of the boat he abandoned.
"OK, at your service," Joey reached for the oars, her sarcasm budding again.
As she started to row, she looked at her old friend, who tried to maintain his dignity although soaked from head to toe. A smile slowly crept up on her face, which caught Pacey's attention. It was the same crooked smile he remembered so well.
"Too bad Dawson's gone," Joey laughed awkwardly. "We finally got the scene right. You actually are a creature from the deep, and I actually thought you were going to take my head off."
Pacey smiled back, trying to look past Joey's damaged face. Although it still made him angry with her, it hurt him to see her so broken, inside and out. He could not imagine how anyone could do that to her single-handedly.
"Well, the Capeside town crier said you just graduated from college," Pacey's voice broke the silence. "Congratulations."
His mention of current events suddenly dragged Joey back into the present day. She had forgotten about her black, swollen eye, the cast and the random bruises and lacerations covering her arms and legs. She reached up to conceal her forehead quickly. Of course, the darkness of the creek helped too, but she was startled that he had not questioned or even flinched at her face.
"Um, yeah…thanks." Joey said suddenly slipping away, not able to look into his eyes again. She shrugged and her hand ran down from her forehead to tuck her hair behind her ear.
Joey pulled her boat along a dock near Dawson's old home.
"Well, is this your stop?" Joey asked.
Pacey made a move to step up onto the dock.
"Wait, did you need help finding the boat?"
Pacey looked down at her.
"Nah, listen, sorry about all of this…" Pacey turned away and hoped up on the dock.
Joey watched him walk away. Although he was shoeless, he still tried to walk as if he had not one care in the world.
"Pace…Pacey," Joey called, standing up in the boat.
Before he turned around, Pacey breathed in deeply and exhaled, which gave him a little confidence, and his lips turned up at the corners for a split second.
"Uh," Joey hesitated when she finally got his attention. "I've been meaning to…"
Joey stopped to study her hands as if they might give her the lines she needed to say.
"I have been meaning to tell you something…well, ask you or tell you…"
Pacey walked back down the dock and sat at the edge letting his feet dangle over the edge.
Joey licked her lips and reached for her hair again as she pulled herself up from the boat to sit next to him on the dock.
"Pacey…" In a moment of true bravery, she looked right into his blue eyes. "Have you…um, forgiven me?"
Pacey tilted his head and wrinkled his brow.
"What? I don't know what you…well, it was not like…" Pacey babbled unexpectedly.
"Pacey, I'm being very brave, right now," Joey said. "But I need to know if… you are…just pretending to have forgiven me for…turning my back on you."
"Well, you were a little harsh the last time I saw you, and I don't ever remember you asking for forgiveness," Pacey finally gained control of his thoughts.
When he saw her eyes fall toward the water again, he tried to recover from his last choice of words.
"You know…time goes by. I don't even remember…"
He was not helping matters.
"My wall…Pacey," Joey said in a deep whisper, glancing up at him in awe.
Pacey nodded proudly, knowing this was her way of thanking him.
Joey twisted her hand around her cast nervously. "I just thought that you and I…might be…or there could be a chance…maybe we could be friends again."
As the words came out of her mouth, Pacey lost the control he had on his cool demeanor. Joey watched him bite his lip; a troubled look sneaked up in his eyes. She wished she could take back her words.
"No, Jo, you don't want that. Jo, I'm sorry…I left you," Pacey stroked his forehead, avoiding her eyes.
"Left me?" Joey asked. "What do you mean? You did not leave…"
"I'm so sorry…the car."
Joey shook her head back and forth slowly, the horror of realization creeping into her eyes.
"What?" was all she could say, as the flashbacks she thought were just dreams became reality.
Pacey could read the pain and hurt in her eyes when he turned to look at her finally. She could read the same in his. She wanted to run away from him all of a sudden. Instead, Joey accidentally stumbled against his familiar chest as she released her intense remorse for what she did to him and what she let happen to her.
She could not overcome the fact he had seen her at the lowest point in her life, which strangely was the same thought Pacey had when she walked away from him on bended knee. In shock, Pacey slowly put his arm on her shoulders as she laid her head down in his lap. Could she hear how hard his heart was pounding against his chest?
The newly inducted adults sat at the edge of the dock in that position until night completely blackened out the creek. The last time they had been together like this they had been children.
After awhile the hands on the clock started moving again. As if she had just risen from sleep, Joey looked up at Pacey. They both opened their mouths to speak at the same time.
"I…" They said in unison, both stopping to laugh.
Realizing that she had been lying in his lap, she lifted her head and blushed. But she could not resist looking into his eyes to see what they were saying.
Silently, they communicated their mutual forgiveness.
Pacey gave in to his urge and reached out to brush his fingers along her bruised cheek.
"Let's go home, Potter."
Sanctuary Conclusion in Epilogue…