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Dedicated to Ewan McGregor, for his kick
@$$ portrayal of Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan's Diary: A Sense of Darkness
by Bria
Thursday, January 18, 2001
I watched Anakin and Amidala walk down the aisle today. I am happy for them... how can I not be? And yet I still felt this sense of sadness. I wanted to be the one marrying Amidala. I do love her... I would be an attentive husband to her. But one look at them, and I know they were made for each other. That was something I accepted long ago. She is a love that simply cannot be mine. I will be a very lucky man if I ever find a women that completes me the way Amidala completes Anakin. Cerasi might have been a possibility, but she's been dead almost a decade and a half. I mustn't think of spending my life alone though.
I'm getting away from the point here... after my little reverie about being with Amidala, I turned my attention back to the wedding, in time to hear the words, "If any among us feel that this couple should not be wed in the holy state of matrimony, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace." It was the weirdest sensation. Just as the words were spoken, a sense of darkness came over me. Something wasn't right. I glanced at Anakin and Amidala. They looked happy, so perfect, and yet...
I knew in an instant they shouldn't be getting married. *The boy is trouble, they all sense it, why can't you?* My words, from a decade ago came back to me, for the first time since I'd taken Anakin as my padawan. A vision swam before my eyes, Anakin, robed in black, standing over a fallen Amidala. The scene was horrifying. All this went on, seemingly in slow motion, but in reality, it probably wasn't more than a second or two. I started to stand, to speak up, but I quickly sat back down. What proof did I have that they shouldn't be married? The future was always in motion, always changing. I remained seated for the rest of the ceremony.
But now that I am alone, with Anakin and Amidala off on their honeymoon, I must ask myself. Did I do the right thing by staying silent? I hope so, I really do. I want them to be happy together. Still, I can't shake this feeling....
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