Hikari-No's Promise
Chapter Nine
"Afterward,
The path divides,
Because of the choice of the Child."
"One shows the triumph of the Dark,
And the death of the one who would save us."
"In the other the Shadow will die and return,
And the consequences of the choice shall weigh heavily upon her."
"Watch for Coruscant's Shadow,
And teach her to be strong.
Do not let her learn to love,
For her love will lead her to pain beyond imagining."
"The one whom she loves will betray her,
And it is only her love that will save him."
"All depends on the One who makes the Choice,
Do not allow her to take her own life,
For she is the key to the Kingdom."
-From the writings of Kassanda, Mau.
Hikari-No had not moved since that night, she was still lying there, like one of the dead. Her Master sat in constant vigil, and he saw how she was able to use the Force to sustain herself, but he was rapidly beginning to lose hope that his apprentice would ever come out of her depression. All of her thoughts were centred on that boy, the one that had given in to the Dark Side and had fought her that night. She regretting killing him, and Mi-Rai understood that.
It was hard, knowing what had happened, not to wish for a chance to change matters. But Mi-Rai did not comprehend why Hikari-No seemed to feel the way she did. When he tried to see past her mindshield all he could sense was a great sadness, a feeling of responsibility that seemed to be crushing her, and above all else, a hatred of herself that seemed to overshadow every other emotion that he had ever witnessed. It seemed to burn in her eyes, which were fixed upon the window. The only movement in her room came from Hikari-No occasionally blinking her eyes.
Mi-Rai could not understand how any person could feel such loathing for herself. It was a painful emotion, and he was worried of what his Padawan might do if he left her alone. When he did leave her side, it was only after she was in the company of another person.
Her friend, *Starinia Fallus had come to speak with Hikari-No a few times, and yesterday had come to say goodbye, for she was returning to her home world of Durillion. *Starinia had been the other person with Hikari-No that night, although she had told the Council that she had been knocked unconscious by Ura-Giri before he had fought Hikari-No and so could give them no other information about the events leading up to her finding Hikari-No some time later.
The younger girl had been found, lying in a crater, the landscape of D-point around her being destroyed as though in a great battle. No one knew what powers Ura-Giri had used against her, but it was generally accepted by all who had been there since to investigate that Hikari-No had been lucky to escape with her life.
*Starinia had spoken to Hikari-No several times, each time trying to get the other girl to begin to function as a normal person again. Neither wanted to remember that night, and although *Starinia wanted to understand the meaning of the strange dream that had filled her mind before awakening, she knew somehow that it would pain Hikari-No more if she asked. And so, *Starinia had sat there for a time, not speaking, just sitting with Hikari-No, keeping her company and watching out the window with her friend. But Hikari-No would no move or talk with *Starinia, and gradually the visits had decreased in frequency as she lost interest or was distracted by class work.
The day she had come to say goodbye was fairly uneventful. *Starinia had heard the news from the Council in the morning, and spent most of the afternoon spreading gossip around the Temple and trying to convince the boys to give her goodbye kisses. And when she had come to speak with Hikari-No, she had asked the Jedi Master to leave them alone, and he had grudgingly complied.
*Starinia spoke to Hikari-No for some time, and though he did not hear what she was saying, there was something about her tone that unnerved him. She had sounded so serious, and there was something in her voice akin to fear. And later, when he had come into the room to sit by Hikari-No's side and watch the sunset, he could have sworn he had heard a voice whispering, maybe on the wind, or maybe through the Force, one word: Princess. Little more than a sigh, the word seemed to him to be a promise, or a shadow of things to come.
Mi-Rai would not admit it to anyone, but he was frightened that Hikari-No might take her own life. She had seemed so distant in the few weeks leading up to that night, he wondered that if he had spent more time with her, this might have had a different outcome. Certainly she would not have had such difficulty subduing another Padawan, even if that one had turned to the Dark Side. Idly, he wondered what her attachment to him had been.
Hikari-No would not cry. She refused to let herself give in.
There had to be another way, she could bring him back.
But he was dead, as *Star had been, and she did not know what she had done to bring *Star back.
She thought about it, even as the sun moved slowly on its path.
She remembered that night so vividly, if she was to close her eyes she knew that she would see it again, see the look on his face as she killed him. But she had to stop the Dark Queen, she had to stop the Dark Kingdom, and the only way to do that was to remove their agent, the General Hematite.
She could remember every detail of his face, and his beautiful eyes, flashing with gratitude as she set his spirit free from the Dark King's manipulations. It was the acceptance and happiness in his eyes that made her wish it all undone. She would have done anything for those eyes, but to see him thanking her for killing him was too much, the image was burned into her mind.
She had loved him, and she had destroyed him.
"I must ask you not to do this", Mi-Rai Shinwa protested to the other Council members. The sun was slowly sinking below the horizon before him, and though he stood respectfully, his words were full of emotion that he would not suppress.
"We must find out what happened that night if we are ever to understand what took place and the power that was employed seemingly by both sides in this battle." answered Umino Genki, shaking his head, "your Padawan refuses to come before us and speak, and we must know what took place if we are ever to study this side of the Force."
"I will not allow you to invade her mind and steal those memories. That is an action against everything the Jedi stand for, and the Code forbids it. Will you so readily do that which you prohibit?" Mi-Rai steeped forward aggressively, and the one Dark Jedi on the Council noted this with a nod of his head. But he did not speak.
Umino spoke with a tone of profound regret. "Your Padawan must explain to us what took place so that we may account for the events of that night to the Senate. A large section of D-point, although abandoned, was still levelled in that attack. People are asking questions, and we do not appreciate not having the answers."
"The people are saying that the mysterious Sailor Senshi were the ones who fought, not my Padawan." Mi-Rai shook his head. He knew that they would not listen to him, though he held an equal rank and ability to most on the Council.
"But the mysterious Sailor Senshi are not here. Hikari-No Miko is, and we would like her to answer our questions. We have given you more than enough time to prepare her for a meeting, and yet you still refuse to allow us to speak with her. This Council will take whatever action is necessary to protect the people of Coruscant."
'Even if it means sacrificing one girl', Mi-Rai thought to himself. Aloud he said, "Hikari-No was directly responsible for the death of a fellow student, one she had been quite close to. Her depression has lead her to the edge of madness, and what you are proposing will surely push her over. All I ask is that you give me a little more time before you go tearing through her mindshield to find your answers."
There was a long moment of silence as the others conferred. Umino nodded. "We will give you one more week. Then we shall have our answers."
He had a week in which to snap Hikari-No out of her depression, before the Council did that which was so abhorrent to him and take by force what they wanted from her mind. Mi-Rai knew his apprentice, it would not be easy for her to overcome her grief at the death of Ura-Giri Koibito.
Ura-Giri Koibito.
Hematite.
The Padawan who had been one of her closest friends, and her secret wish. She had forgiven him his betrayal as quickly as it happened, and would probably have not fought him that night if it had not been for *Star. When she had sat there, holding her friend's scorched body in her arms, that was when she realised that she could defeat him. But it had not been enough.
He had taken her locket, it had broken, and the magic was scattered. She was on her knees before him, and he smirked down at her, as though daring her to beg for her life. Then there was an instant, a moment of eternity, in which he realised, and admired her for it, and she knew that everything would turn out alright. he knew, and would not kill her, no matter what his Queen demanded.
But knowing that he was her enemy had broken her heart. She heard them calling, and knew what to do at last. That was when she had given in to her emotions, and one tear had fallen. From that tear emerged the Sapphire Crystal, and she had been revealed as the Princess Amaterasu, traditional heir to the Sapphire Millennium, an ancient kingdom that had spanned the Galaxy, centred at Coruscant.
She had never wanted to be the Princess. All she had wanted was to be a Jedi, a warrior for good, like her Master. And yet, she had found herself first as Sailor Coruscant, a magical warrior who could manipulate the Force in ways Hikari-No could never manage on her own, and then as the Princess, one who, according to Palomene's prophecies, was meant to one day rule the Galaxy.
She certainly was not suited to rule a single planet, let alone the Galaxy. Besides that, the Senate was now in charge of that, what good would resurrecting a long-dead kingdom do that they could not? She was just a normal teenage girl, who would never be normal again because she had killed the first boy she had fallen in love with.
And for what? So that others could be happy, and she was lying here all alone. They were afraid of her, of what she had become. They had all left her, for they knew what she was.
Murderer.
Palomene tried to reason with the Princess, to get her to come out of her depression and start talking again. But she could no longer get past the Princess' mindblock, which was now stronger than any she had seen before, it was most likely augmented by the Sapphire Crystal's strength. And so she had stayed with the Princess, waiting for the Jedi to leave her side. Palomene had not counted on his dedication to his student, for he had not left the two of them alone once since it had happened.
Palomene had contented herself with speaking to *Star, who still remembered little of what had taken place that night. Palomene herself was a little unsure about the details, only she knew that Hematite had died and the Dark Kingdom was gone. As far as the other Guardians had been able to determine, they could never enter the Galaxy through that particular gate again, although one of the seers had said that there were other entrances and that the Dark Kingdom would never stop in its quest until the entire Galaxy was under their control.
For now, the Princess had returned to them and the Sapphire Crystal with her, and all Palomene had to do was convince her that there was still a crown to be taken up. Hikari-No had demonstrated her suitability to be Princess Amaterasu when she had unleashed the full power of the Crystal upon the enemy, and was not herself consumed by it's flame. She had broken down the barrier between life and death to bring Sailor Durillion back, and had survived herself. No one in the history of the Sapphire Millennium had ever done that before, not even her ancestor the last Queen. Idly, Palomene wondered if the Princess Amaterasu was the soul of the great Queen reborn at last, although none of the prophecies had mentioned that.
But as she looked down on her Princess, Palomene suddenly saw what had been overlooked by the Guardians for so long. Although she was the Princess Amaterasu, heir to the Sapphire Millennium, bearer of the mystical Sapphire Crystal and Sailor Senshi of Coruscant, Hikari-No Miko was still little more than a child, for all that she had always been very mature. And Palomene realised then what Hikari-No had felt for Hematite, the same feelings she had experienced so long ago, and yet because of her sense of duty and responsibility, Hikari-No had been forced to kill him, even though her heart protested. And now she had to deal with her guilt.
Guilt.
That was the right word for it.
She felt guilty.
She had killed him, without any remorse at the time, because that was what she had to do. But now, when she thought about it, she found herself wondering if she might not have been able to talk with him, to make him see reason and change sides. She could have used the power of the Crystal to sustain him, she now knew how to do that, as soon as she thought of it the Crystal had told her how to go about it. But it was too late now, for he was already dead, and though at night she reached out with her power, to try and find him and bring him back, she could not, he was gone from her senses.
Maybe together they would have been able to defeat the Dark Queen, without him having died. Maybe she could have used the power of the Crystal on him less strongly, used it to heal, rather than simply to banish the evil presences from his soul. Once he was freed from their grasp, he would have simply been Ura-Giri, and she could have been Hikari-No. Things would have been so much simpler.
But now he was gone, and it was all her fault.
In her mind she shivered at an unnatural breeze that created a sudden chill in her room. She wished that they would leave her, she did not wish to speak with any of them right now. Although there were many people around her, she did not have the strength or inclination to speak with any of them.
She had never felt so alone.
Hikari-No looked so calm, Mi-Rai realised, as he reached out a hand to brush her long hair, as he had done so many times before. For an instant he thought he saw her flinch at his touch, and he wondered again what had happened to his Padawan to bring her to this point.
Another message for her from Domus Prime had arrived this morning. He was still a little surprised that the friendship between his Padawan and the princess Catherine from that planet had lasted this long, normally people drifted apart after such time without actual contact. And yet the two girls had been firm friends for years now, and although he thought it was somewhat unusual, he was glad that Hikari-No had someone like Catherine to talk to.
He had told Hikari-No about the message when it arrived, but she made no response, and so he had placed the capsule with the others for her to look at when she was feeling better. He had considered playing the message for her, but knew that she normally liked to listen them alone, when she had time to think about and formulate an immediate reply. She would not appreciate him listening either, although she generally told him the content of her correspondences.
He thought again about the Council's deadline. He had carefully informed Hikari-No about what they intended, but either she felt no emotion about planned invasion of her mind and privacy, or she did not fear what the Council could do to her. Perhaps her mind welcomed the chance to escape, and when they broke through her mindshield and made her relive the memories of that night it would probably give her to chance she had been looking for. He knew only a little of what Hikari-No had been thinking, but he greatly feared the consequences of what would happen in the next week.
Mi-Rai Shinwa loved Hikari-No more than a daughter, and it honestly frightened him to see her so horribly depressed, trapped in her own mind as she fought to resolve the events that had taken place into something that make sense.
But perhaps the most terrifying thing about what he saw when he looked at Hikari-No's thoughts was the serene feeling of something other, a sense of blueness that seemed to be watching over her, a part of Hikari-No that he had never seen in all the years that she had been open to him, a cold consciousness that above all else appeared to be guarding her from harm. What it was, he did not know, nor did he feel he would ever understand. He wanted to reach out and help Hikari-No, but whenever he tried this other consciousness that he sensed, as cold and multifaceted as a crystal, had prevented him from doing so. And so, all Mi-Rai could do was watch and hope.
Once again his eyes were drawn to the strange locket on the bedside table. When they found Hikari-No, she had been holding it clutched in one hand, even as she had held Ura-Giri Koibito's lightsaber to her chest with the other. They had placed the 'saber away for safekeeping, but she had been allowed to keep the locket, primarily because no one else had seemed to notice it. As Mi-Rai looked at it, he realised that it should have a chain, something pretty, not too fancy, just a simple silver chain so that she could wear it about her neck.
When Mi-Rai reached over to pick up the piece of jewellery, a blue spark leapt from it to his hand, and he started at the sudden pain. He looked again at the design on the front, and wondered why it seemed so familiar. A black circle over a heart of purest white, and at the center five coloured gems evenly spaced. The background was blue, and Mi-Rai felt that he should recognise the emblem. Not for the first time, he wondered where his Padawan had acquired the locket. He tried again to retrieve it from the nightstand, and when it again shocked him, he decided to leave it alone. He would ask Hikari-No about it when she recovered.
Mi-Rai suddenly wondered if his presence with her was really helping Hikari- No. It did not seem that way, for all that he spent all his time with her, and could not remember the last time he had slept. She was still as cold as that first day, and he was beginning to feel that time was going to be an issue, not just because of the Council's deadline. Hikari-No was slipping away from him even without their interference, and he had the impression that the more he tried to reach for her, the more of her would fade from sight, like sand sliding through his fingers, to never be recovered.
And now she did not even had her friend *Starinia here to talk with, to comfort her where he could not. Those two had been her closest friends, *Starinia Fallus and Ura-Giri Koibito. And now she had lost them both. She must feel so alone.
Mi-Rai went into the next room, always keeping Hikari-No in his sight as he sat down to compose a message to Catherine.
If the Crystal is so powerful, why can it not turn back time?
She knew even as she asked her question that it could indeed do so, provided that the bearer had enough energy and was prepared to sacrifice her own life to do so. And what would it accomplish, if time had been changed and she had made sure he had survived if she could not ensure that he could remain alive? She would gladly have given her life so that he could live, but it simply was not possible.
Her thoughts told her that she should be crying, but she would not give in to it, would show no weakness. She was not worthy of him, she had never deserved him, and yet she could still faintly taste him on her lips where he had kissed her, just once, in an instant of magic that had not been precipitated by any magic crystals or powers. Just two people, realising their love for one another.
Although a part of her longed to cry over him, to miss him more than life itself, the rest of her knew that she was not good enough to shed tears for him, for he had loved her and she had used her powers to destroy his being, until there had been nothing left to show he had ever existed but a lightsaber and the memory of a kiss.
Palomene sighed. "Princess", she breathed, a wish for Hikari-No to answer.
For a moment, it seemed as though the Jedi Master had seen her, and she was a little worried, for how would he interpret her presence but as a threat to his Padawan? Palomene trusted the Jedi very little, but she respected their understanding of the Force, particularly the living Force, made up of all living things. And her Princess loved this Jedi dearly, so perhaps there were individuals amongst the order that were not so bad.
Still, she wished the Princess would answer her calls.
She pushed her thoughts against the walls in Hikari-No's mind, and was surprised when the Crystal relented and let her through.
'Hikari-No?' Palomene asked, cautious of what might happen now.
'Oh', came the faint answer, 'it is you.'
'Hikari-No, everyone is very worried about you.'
There was a long pause, as Hikari-No thought about this. When she replied, Palomene thought she saw a hint of blue anger on the words. 'Are they worried about me, or are they worried about your precious Princess?' The words were bitter, angry, and yet there was a steel to Hikari-No's mind-voice that Palomene had never heard before.
'Hikari-No, I was wrong', Palomene began, as she suddenly realised and understood what she had been doing wrong, 'The Kingdom is important, to be sure, but it was never important enough to risk losing you. You, Hikari-No Miko, the little Jedi. I never realised before what the Queen always knew, the individual is always more important than the Kingdom, if even one person was to die unnecessarily, then it would be too many. You knew that all along.'
'Is the Kingdom so important then that losing *Star would be considered necessary?' Palomene felt a sudden chill at Hikari-No's anger, but she knew that she had to answer truthfully.
'If she was to die protecting you, then it would be worthwhile. But she did not die.'
'Did she not?' Hikari-No projected an image, of her cradling *Star's body, to Palomene, so lifelike that it took Palomene a moment before she remembered that *Star was still alive. She gasped at the meaning of this.
'But, how is this possible?'
'You said yourself that the Crystal can grant the wishes of the one who possesses it. I simply made some impossible wishes.' Palomene realised that even though it was still Hikari-No she was speaking to, her mannerisms and thoughts seemed more like those of the Princess long ago. 'Now tell me, was it worthwhile for her to die? Does her life mean that little to you?'
'Of course not. I love *Star dearly, but you are the Princess.'
'Yes. Princess Amaterasu, the one you have been searching for for twenty-five thousand years. And now that you have found me, what do you want? To recreate a world that died all those years ago? To use me to get your Guardians back into a position of power in the Galaxy? I am not some tool to simply be used by the greedy manipulation of the Guardians. I am tired of being a pawn in your games, Palomene.'
'You were never a pawn, Hikari-No.' Palomene realised with a start that she was frightened of the anger of Hikari-No's thoughts, and the tinge of madness that accompanied them. Perhaps she had pushed the girl too far. Perhaps she had taken things too far, and now it was too late. Hikari-No had been stretched too thin, now she was close to snapping rather then bending back into shape.
'It certainly seemed that way to me. I do not wish to be a Princess, I want nothing to do with your Kingdom. The enemy is defeated, that should be enough for you. Go and get on with your life, since you are no longer immortal. Find someone to fall in love with and be happy.' Hikari-No's words sounded so sincere and yet so sad that they brought tears to Palomene's eyes.
'Hikari-No, you are the Princess. You must-' Palomene began, even as tears began to fall.
'I will not listen to any more of your demands. I am Hikari-No Miko, nothing more, and all I want from my life is to live in peace, without all this talk of Princesses and power and Guardians. I simply want to be left alone. Now, please, Palomene, go away, and do not come back. Since you came into my life there has been nothing but pain and sadness, and though none of it has been your fault, I do not wish to spend my life living in the shadow of your great dreams. I would like to build my own dreams, and they are very different from yours.
'I am sorry Palomene. I am sorry I killed Hematite, even though I knew you loved him long ago, and I am sorry for not being the chosen one you were always looking for. Maybe one day one of my children will have the same dreams as you, and they will go on to build your castle and be your Queen, but I am not that person. If I could give away this Crystal, please know that I would, but for some reason it will not listen to all of my wishes. It does not seem to work that way and I am sorry. Goodbye Palomene.'
Then Palomene found herself being pushed from Hikari-No's mind once again. The Guardian knew that she would not be allowed in again, and she wondered if Hikari-No would ever forgive her for what happened. Palomene stood for a time, watching the girl lie in her death-like state, and made a wish to an ancient goddess that everything would turn out fine for this girl whom she loved for more reasons than simple duty.
Hikari-No was the perfect embodiment of the Princess, and maybe one day she would realise this and take her place as Queen of Coruscant and the Galaxy. Until then, she would have to live out her own life, for Palomene had fulfilled her duty, and there was nothing more she could do here. Especially as the Princess had given her an order.
Palomene sighed deeply, a motion that was echoed by the Jedi Master beside her. His eyes met hers for an instant, and she saw understanding. Then Palomene took a deep breath, and went home.
Had she done the wrong thing in sending Palomene away?
She regretted her harsh words long after her anger at the Guardian had faded away into the nothingness that seemed to consume her soul. And for a time, she grieved at the loss of the one who had been her constant companion, but at the same time, she knew that she had done what she must in setting Palomene free. What the Guardian would do after this she did not know, all she knew was that she was not going to allow her to spent her entire life serving a dream that would never become a reality.
And she had meant every word, if not the harsh tone in which they had been said. But that was not entirely her fault, for there seemed to be another voice in her mind, speaking to her as Palomene had, telling her of Kingdoms and crowns. She was beginning to associate this voice with the Crystal, for there was something alien and hard about the way it spoke to her, and she knew that it had not understood when she had told Palomene of the importance of protecting her friends.
Though she tried to explain, it would not listen, speaking as Palomene had, saying that her life was more important than that of any other. That was not true, the Jedi part of her knew this, every living being was a part of the Force and therefore they all had the same significance, not matter what their rank or supposed mystical destiny.
She would not listen to the Crystal, no matter what promises it made, and she would certainly never try to use its power again. She would guard it, to be sure, if only to prevent anyone else from making the same mistakes as she had. Whatever else it might be, the Crystal was too powerful to ever be used again without dreadful consequences, and she was terrified of what they would be, for she had already been dead once.
Catherine walked lightly into the room, her small feet not making any sound against the tiled floors. She had come as quickly as she could, for no one would refuse the request of a Jedi Master, especially one as nice as Master Shinwa. Besides that, he had said that Hikari-No needed her, and she would have travelled twice as far if it had been necessary. His message had been brief to the point of worrying her, but no one on Domus Prime would take serious note of her absence with all that was going on currently, and the Princess had agreed to give her leave.
The Jedi Master must have sensed her presence, for he looked over from his place by Hikari-No's bed and gave her a warm, if tired, smile. It was then that she saw Hikari-No lying still on the bed, her eyes open and staring out the window, unmoving as if she was dead. Her skin was pale to the point of being frightening, and her eyes seemed to be silver more than blue. Hikari-No's hair seemed somewhat shorter than the last time Catherine had seen it, and although it had been tied back from her face Catherine had the sudden impression that the top section should have been braided.
Master Shinwa stood from his place at Hikari-No's side, letting go of one bandaged hand, and moved away so that he could talk with Catherine. She had not noticed until then the many bandages that covered her friend's body, and she wondered what had caused them. She felt unexpected tears in her eyes at the sight of her normally quiet and calm friend lying there in such a way.
"What happened?" Catherine asked in a voice that was little more than a whisper. She had felt that something was wrong on Coruscant for a time, ever since her visit more than two months ago, but had taken no action, believing that Hikari-No could take care of herself.
"I do not know if I should tell you this, it is normally something that would stay within the Order", the Jedi Master sighed. "One of our students turned to the Dark Side and it was Hikari-No who found out. They fought, and in the end she killed him, although she nearly died in the time following us finding her. She hasn't responded to anything since."
Catherine looked again at Hikari-No, and knew that there was more that she was not being told. "When two Jedi fight, one does not return with her body covered in burn scars like that."
He sighed again. "We do not know what happened, only that some form of explosion seemed to have taken place. Have you heard of the Sailor Senshi?" Catherine nodded. "Some of the younger Padawans believe that they were involved somehow, for some of the rumours say that they can create flames and ice out of nothing but the Force and through it at their enemies, but no one really credits this."
Catherine remembered what she had seen on that day which seemed so long ago now, and realised that Master Shinwa did not know. As she thought about it, she also found that she understood Hikari-No's reasoning. Although it was not her secret to tell, Catherine knew that the Jedi Master had a right to know what may have taken place that night.
She took a deep breath to steady herself as she sought for the right words to say. "The Sailor Senshi probably were involved that night", she said, looking over at Hikari-No. "What do you know of them?"
"They are a couple of teenage vigilantes, claiming to fight evil and appearing and disappearing all over Coruscant creating an uproar. It's funny", he mused, "but I haven't heard anything new about them in a while."
She chose to ignore this comment, her eyes catching sight of the locket on Hikari-No's bedside table. "What do you know about Sailor Coruscant?"
He shook his head, no doubt wondering where this line of questioning was leading. "She is little more than a girl, with brown hair and blue eyes, running around in a short skirt and knee-high boots with a strange sense of jewellery. Some people say she wears a glowing tiara on her forehead, and others claim that they remember having seen her locket many times before. They say it is blue, with a white heart surrounding a black circle."
His words trailed off, as he looked over at Hikari-No again, then his eyes trailed off to the locket.
Catherine nodded her head. "Hikari-No is Sailor Coruscant. She most likely did not tell you because she did not want you to be placed in any danger. When I was here on Coruscant not too long ago I was attacked by the people that she had been fighting, and the danger was very real."
Master Shinwa seemed genuinely surprised at this, and he did not take his eyes from Hikari-No. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "Can she really do all those things they say about her? Is it real?"
No knowing what rumours had been spread, and feeling a little guilty already about having spoken Hikari-No's secret, Catherine shrugged. "She will have to tell you herself when she decides to wake up."
He nodded, and sat down rather heavily in one of the chairs scattered around the room. Catherine looked around her for the first time, seeing the apartment and realising that the Jedi Master had paid very little attention to it or himself in the time that Hikari-No had been incapacitated. There was mess scattered about everywhere, and Catherine found herself questioning just how long it had been since the battle of which Master Shinwa had spoken.
He shook his head a number of times, and stood. "I should probably tell the other Council members of this", he said, looking Catherine in the eyes for the first time, "will you stay with her?" His eyes darted back to Hikari-No anxiously.
"Of course, Master Shinwa", Catherine forced herself to smile, "Hikari-No and I have much to catch up on."
He seemed hesitant to move, but Catherine turned her back on him, and walked over to Hikari-No, sitting down by her side and picking up her bandaged right hand gently. When Master Shinwa had left, Catherine bowed her head and whispered, "I hope you can forgive me."
She had heard the words, but they made no impact on her world now, appearing as they did through a fog of memories and dreams. She remembered what had happened on that night, when the power of the Crystal had run out, and she had died.
The blue light was everywhere, it was all that was left of her body, of the power of the Crystal. She had poured it all into the healing energy that had been sent out after the banishment of the Dark Kingdom. She could feel now that *Star was alive again, as were the other people that had already died this night at Hematite's hands. And she wondered at this, as she found her awareness dimming, and was happy. Surely to lose one life was a wonderful thing if it meant that so many others would continue to live.
But such knowledge was not comforting. She, for all that she knew it would mean others could live, was afraid to die. She was only fourteen, and she found herself wishing from the bottom of her heart that she could just have one more chance to live her own life, for herself. She knew that it was selfish of her, but she could not help it. She was terrified of death, and of what would happen next.
From somewhere, the Crystal brought forth a final burst of power, and then there had been darkness until she awoke, and remembered.
Catherine was there with her, she could hear her friend's whispered words. She remembered what Catherine had said the last time they met, and how it had come to be true in the worst way possible.
"Hikari-No, I am so terribly sorry", Catherine said to her, as the sun began to set and the room started to darken. She too had remembered her joking words in the library that day, and knew then which student it was that had turned to the Dark Side. "I know how you felt about him, and if I had realised what would happen, I would never had said those awful words."
'You know he'll only break your heart.'
How prophetic it had turned out to be. "Hikari-No, you are my best friend and I would never do anything to hurt you. I wish I had never said anything, and I am sorry about telling your Master, but I felt he needed to know. If you decide that you hate me, I will understand."
How could she ever hate Catherine?
At times Catherine had seemed like the only one who had ever understood her, who knew how she felt and could sympathise. Though their lives were worlds apart, she had always known that Catherine would be there for her to tell her problems to, and to cheer her up when she was sad.
It had never mattered before that Catherine never seemed to take anything seriously, for she had known that Catherine only acted that way so that people would not realise how smart and worried she really was.
But how had Catherine known so acutely what Ura-Giri's death had meant to her?
"What do you mean, the Council was aware of this? If you already knew, why was I not informed?"
"We did not think it was relevant."
There was a long pause as Mi-Rai assimilated this information. "You knew the truth, and you knew what would happen, and yet you still sent her out that night? I demand to know why."
"It is not your place to question the decision of this Council."
"I was under the impression that I was a member of this Council."
"It had been our decision that your judgement might have be misplaced on this matter if you had all the information we had gathered. It was for the sake of your Padawan that the Council chose not to actively interfere in the events leading up to the events of that night."
"The Council did not act because they were afraid of being blamed when something went wrong. Which it did."
"Are you so sure of that?"
"Hikari-No has not shown any signs of improvement since we found her, and another Padawan is dead. How can you possibly say that nothing has gone wrong?"
"Hikari-No still lives, as do most of the people in this Galaxy. No one save her will ever fully understand what she did that night, nor why it is even now pushing her to the brink of insanity. Ura-Giri Koibito was indeed an oversight on the part of the Council, but we are endeavouring to find out how his Dark abilities managed to slip past our protection and testing."
"You really don't care, do you? The individual doesn't matter to you, only the whole. You don't worry about the people whose lives you are destroying, and in the end it doesn't matter to you, because you still have the Force. You all seem to have lost sight of the fact that the Force is made up of the lives of individuals, and it is the strength of these distinct personalities that give the Force its strength."
Mi-Rai looked around the group disgustedly and sighed. "I can see in your eyes that I am wasting my time. I will go back to my Padawan, who needs me to be there with her now."
With another sigh of regret, he left the Council to its deliberations.
Catherine was holding her hand, the one that did not hurt so much.
That was something she did not understand. If the Crystal had healed everyone else, and brought her back, why had it not healed her body? She knew how she could do so now, but she wondered why it had not sooner. She would not use its power for something so selfish anyway. Never again, she would never again use its power on any living thing, even if they were the most evil being in the Galaxy.
At least Catherine had not said the same thing as everyone else, that she would soon fall in love again. Why would she want to love anyone, when everyone she loved would one day leave her?
Why was everything so hard? Why did everything she do only make it hurt worse? She missed Ura-Giri, she missed him so much, and he would never return, and it was all her fault.
"Hikari-No, I know you feel pretty bad right now, I would too, but you have to understand that it wasn't your fault. You were doing what you knew was right, and even as you did it you knew the cost of success. That makes you very brave, for you did not give in, you stood up for everyone who couldn't stand up for themselves and you gave us a shot at a happy ending."
There is no such thing as a happy ending.
She had done what she must because the future had depended upon it, and because there was no way she would ever let the Dark Queen win. And so, she had lost.
"Hikari-No, I doubt anyone else will say this, so I must. Thank you for what you did that night."
Catherine looked out the window to the city beyond, full of life and people going on with their lives. If only they knew how close they had come to all becoming but a memory in the Force, maybe they would be more prepared to live their lives in a worthwhile manner. Catherine sighed loudly, and was shocked to hear an echoing one from the bed beside her.
She looked down at Hikari-No's face, and saw two silver tears shining there.
Catherine smiled, for she knew that everything really was going to be all right.