-The reason I survive - JC/AD
TIMELINE: Post season 6.
SUMMARY: Carter's doing well in rehab, when he gets an unexpected phone-call.
FEEDBACK: I'd love to get feedback. Criticism, advice, praiseg … This is my first real ER fic, so, I'd love to know what you think. So…please review! J
DISCLAIMER: As much as I'd like to, I don't own any of the mentioned characters. They are the property of Michael Crichton, John Wells, Jack Orman, Warner Brothers, Amblin Entertainment, NBC… and pretty much everyone besides me. =(
PART 2
'Anna?'
'Who else?' she almost chuckled, in remembrance of the days they used to joke around each other all the time.
John started to apologize for his earlier behavior.
'Look, I'm sorry I hung up on you before, but-'
Anna cut him and nodded understandingly as if he could see her.
'I know'
'You have to understand it's not easy for me, to...' The words didn't come as easy as he wished they would. But he continued. 'I'm sorry it's – it's just so unexpected! I...'
'No Carter, *I'm* sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, it's not your fault I treated you the way I did...' Her voice was trembling now, as the fear of losing him once more hit her harder, and her eyes dwelled up. 'I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, I...'
John heard the sadness in her tone and interrupted her.
'Hey!' he said softly 'I... I'm glad you called.'
He wasn't sure himself how truthful this last statement was, but he hated to hear her cry, and as he said it, it didn't for one second feel like a lie. He went on.
'Just a bit... shaken about it, but... I really am glad.' This time he knew. It was his heart speaking. 'And I know I've been a bit harsh, but I've been through quite a lot lately, but...'
He trailed off. He was about to say none of his problems had anything to do with her, but it didn't feel so right suddenly...
Meanwhile Anna was listening to him. She'd forgotten how soothing his voice had always been to her ears. And still was. And she remembered how much she missed him. He was glad she called! But he hadn't taken her up on her earlier offer to meet... She realized he'd gone silent and replied.
'I understand. I-I've been through some tough times too...'
'You have?' He sounded a bit surprised.
'Yeah, umm... Okay, uh...'
She was a bit uneasy about telling him about her issues, and didn't know where to start. But this was Carter she was talking to, and she'd always been able to tell him everything. So she awkwardly started...
'You know those days, when you feel like your life is falling apart?'
John knew those all too well, but didn't want to interrupt. 'Mm-hmm'
'Well, uh... it seems like a lot days have felt this way for me and... And somewhere down the road you... You start to realize that, there's just... nothing left in your life to fall apart, you know?'
John was amazed. It sounded like she was telling him about his own life!
'H-how did it get there?'
He wasn't so much curious as he wanted to try and help her. As the friend he'd always been. Funny how he thought of it. *He* of all people out there --and out of rehab facilities-- wanted to help her!
'Well I, uh... I don't feel quite comfortable talking about this over the phone...'
She wasn't lying, or using it as an excuse to pop the question, but deep down she was hoping he would suggest they get together in the near future.
--
Uh-oh, he'd put his foot in his mouth, here. Although, he *did* at that point feel pretty comfortable talking with her, and he *did* want to hear her story. But...
He hadn't told her what *his* life had been like since she left, and after what they'd been through with Chase he kind of apprehended doing so... Oh, but he so wanted to share his problems with someone. He so *needed* to. And he knew she was the only person in the world he could possibly ever open his heart to. But above all, and as much as he would apprehend it, he'd never wanted anything more than he wanted to see her again.
So he took a deep breath in, and spoke slowly.
'Whereabouts are you at the moment?'
Anna knew what this question really meant the second he spoke it and her heart skipped a beat at the sound of it. She was now smiling from ear to ear. So he eventually *did* want to see her!
'On a plane to Chicago...' she replied.
John stifled a chuckle. 'You're kidding me!'
'Nope.'
'I'm so sorry, I'm in Atlanta!' he said in slight disbelief.
'Yeah, I... talked to Ronnie.'
'Oh...' He felt a little awkward, but went on. 'So, you know I can't fly outta here.'
'I'm boarding the first plane to Georgia as soon as I get off this one!'
'Thank you'
'You're welcome John, you're welcome...'
'Call when you get here, okay?'
'I promise'
--
The conversation ended, leaving them both with huge smiles on their faces, and feeling so much better than an hour before. John still couldn't believe they were going to meet again. Their conversation had almost felt like they'd never lost touch. But they'd had, and John couldn't help feeling nervous waiting for Anna's call. Almost like a teenager before his very first date...
It wouldn't be easy dealing with so much stress without any... 'help,' tonight, and he knew it. But he would hold on... He had to.
He thought a lot in those long hours waiting. Where would he and Anna meet? He sure didn't want her to see him there, and he wanted some privacy. And he'd have to be back at 11. That was early, he thought, and wouldn't leave them much time to talk about all they had to... What would he wear? Would the khakis and black tee-shirt he was wearing right now be okay? Of course not, he scolded himself! He hadn't seen Anna in two years! Two years, for crying out loud!
Gosh, he had to stop worrying so much, and think of something else! Maybe go for a walk? He looked out the window. It was raining hard and the wind was blowing. Jesus, *two* *years*...
He stared into the rain and the hours passed.
Still nothing.
--
A strident beeping noise cut through the silence of John's room. Half-asleep, he searched around his waist looking for his beeper, before realizing he didn't have it. D'uh, he wasn't even in Chicago, or near any other hospital! It was his cell-phone of course. He rubbed his left eye sleepily, and glanced at the alarm-clock on his nightstand. 4.38 AM. He'd been stood up!
Stood.
Up.
He looked at the source of all noises lying next to it. And now what should he do? Should he just pick up, or watch the ringing object tremble and get closer to the edge of the nightstand with each vibration of the ringings till it fell?
Pick up, or let fall?
…
to be continued…