A Bleak Future
By amethyst
Okay, where we last left off, James just found Jessie after she left him nearly six years ago. Read Unforgivable first! Same PG 13 rating, for adult content and a little swearing.
Jessie opened her eyes wearily. It seemed so pointless, getting up. She hadn't gotten any sleep, again. She had dreamed again. Why did he have to show up? She slapped the snooze button and rolled over.
What was she going to do? She couldn't forget him, she couldn't forget what had happened. That look he had given her, the anger and hurt, they were burned into her heart. She could still hear his words echoing through her mind. "Go away..." She whispered weakly, burying her head in the pillow. Of course, it didn't help any. She was a fighter. She was used to using force to get her way. This enemy was unseen, was part of herself. She had no idea how to fight it. She wasn't even sure if she could survive it.
"What am I gonna do..." The only thing more frightening then never seeing him again was the prospect of being forgiven. Would he? He had sworn at her, yes. (She strongly suspected it was the first time he had ever said a word that strong in his life. It was certainly the first time in front of her.) On the other hand, that was all he had really done. Her left wrist was still slightly sore from where he had grabbed it, but not much. He had hurt her much worse than that many times on accident. Under the given circumstances, she had assumed that even James would have hit her. And hard... she knew she would have beaten him bloody over something like this.
The fact that he hadn't just proved to her that she really had no idea how he really felt. Had she really underestimated his loyalty that much? Would he really forgive her? What would she tell him if he did? She didn't think his poor heart could take the next bombshell she had waiting in the wings. And she didn't think her poor heart could take watching him crack. Nine minutes was never enough. The alarm clock went off again, and Jessie's eyes widened as a familiar piano solo started.
Looking back, on the memory of....
Jessie's squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it out.
The dance we shared...
"Stop it...."
'neath the stars above...
She knew this song all too well.
For a moment, all the world was right...
She had always loved this song. It had been one of her favorites to dance to. But now...
How could I have known, that you'd ever say, 'Goodbye'?
"I'm sorry." She whispered, burying her head in the pillow.
"Jessie?" Mary popped her head in the doorway. "Jessie, dear, are you okay?"
"No..." Jessie sniffled. "No, I'm not." Mary seemed to recognize the song, and turned it off. "You shouldn't be listening to such things." She chided gently. "Not right now." Jessie shrugged, looking away.
"Jess... Is there anything I can do?" She said quietly. "You know I'll do anything at all if it would help you." Jessie shook her head.
"James...." She whispered. "He's gone..." she looked up. "I tried to stop him, Mary. I tried to make him leave. I really did." She shook her head against the pillow. "I do love him. It's just... I can't. We can't be together anymore." She shook her head. "I didn't want to hurt him that way, ever."
"Jessie, what do you mean, can't? He didn't seem mad enough to leave you forever. Just give him a few more days, he'll come back. He's followed you too far to give up now." It was meant to be comforting to the poor girl, but Jessie just buried her head deeper in her pillow.
"Momma? Mommy, are you crying?" Jasmine walked in the door. "Is something wrong?" Jessie gulped and took a deep breath, then turned to her daughter.
"No, Jazz, I'm just fine." She managed to say it convincingly. "You'd better hurry, you'll be late for school. And I'll be late for work." She gave Jasmine a hug. "Don't worry, baby. Things are just fine." Jasmine nodded and went to get her uniform, and Jessie sighed.
The poor girl... She had been through so much. The least Jessie could do was give the impression that her mother was more stable than her home life. She did her best to be the nearly god-like figure her own mother had been to her. And immortals never cry. Never.
Even though she often wanted to. Her policy of only dating men that agreed to take Jasmine along ensured that she was always single. After all, she had always relied on her looks to get her the attention she craved. Childbirth had done quite a number to those. She was still beautiful, but that was it. She was no longer 'stunning', at least not in her own eyes.
But still, even with everything that had happened, yesterday was the first time she'd ever questioned her current way of living. Jasmine, of course, was that way of living. Jazz was her life now, at least the only part of it worth mentioning. The only truly good thing she had ever accomplished in her life....
"Jessie?" Mary startled her, snapping her out of the long train of thoughts. "You'll be late." Jessie nodded and begrudgingly got ready for work.
By mid-morning, Jessie was reduced to hiding in the bathroom. Huddled atop the closed toilet seat as she tried to control her tears, she asked herself for the thousandth time why she had chosen to work here. It was a jewelry store, for crying out loud. ninety percent of the customers were in love. Each time a young man came in looking for an engagement ring, it killed her. The other girls who worked there just made it worse. Especially today.
"I don't know..." The Sarah said slowly, eyeing the small ring the boy had picked out critically. "I wouldn't go with that one..."
"Why not? Tori would love it." The boy protested. "It's just her style." Of course, he was being cheep, but Sarah knew just what to do.
"Well, I don't want to say anything..." She said, leaning forward secretively. "But I wouldn't take that ring if it were free." The boy looked at her, and she continued in a hushed voice. "That's the kind of ring HE got for Jessie there... and then..." Sarah shook her head sadly.
Jessie had glared back. How could she reduce something so indescribably painful thing to a mere sales ploy? "Go to hell." She had shot back bitterly before running to the back room.
She wiped her eyes, trying to get rid of the mascara lines that streaked her face. "I won't let it bother me, I won't let it bother me, I won't..." A few more choked sobs escaped, and she grimly re-applied her makeup. She would have to apologize. That would almost be worse than the original insult... but she couldn't afford to loose her job.
A sharp knock sounded on the door. "Jessie?"
"Yeah, Sarah?" She said quietly, hardly keeping the tightness out of her voice.
"That was a great act, Jessie!" Sarah said triumphantly. "He bought a full carrot! That's gonna be some bonus..." She paused. "You probably shouldn't swear in front of the customers like that, though. You could get in trouble."
Working for Team Rocket couldn't compare to this. Even her worst days, it never got this degrading. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't..." She growled. Jasmine... Her mind answered. The rent was due this week. "Okay..." Jessie whispered dejectedly as she swallowed any pride she had. "I'll be out in a moment." I hate this job. She thought as she forced a plastic smile.
James leaned against the wall until he was absolutely sure no one was looking, then peeked around the corner nervously, staring into the window of the small jewelry shop. There she was. Jessie.
"What are you doing here?" His mind questioned.
"I have to see her again." He muttered aloud. His mind was still dubious.
"I thought you hated her." It reminded him. "Have you forgotten already?"
"If I ever could hate her..." He sighed dejectedly. "It would have happened a long time ago." She motioned another saleswoman over and disappeared into the back room again. He sighed again and turned around, leaning against the wall and slowly sliding himself down so he was sitting on the ground. It was covered in snow, but the numbness in his legs was nothing compared to the numbness in his heart. He hardly noticed it.
She had apparently been trying to convince a customer that a 5-carrot emerald necklace didn't look gaudy, not even with 3-carrot diamond earrings. From the look on Jessie's face, James guessed she was winning the debate. Jessie at a jewelry store? She really had changed, hadn't she? He couldn't even imagine how she had gotten past the background check.
She was so beautiful, she always had been, but the grin she had just then made her look almost magical. How could anyone look so gorgeous, seem so wonderful, and be so heartless? He looked at his feet. Six years ago, Jessie had totally crushed him, leaving him this empty shell he had come to hate. Two weeks ago, she had hurt him worse. Much worse.
A child? Who's? He had always known there had been other men her life, and he had never objected to this fact. He knew all too well that Jessie was a beautiful girl and a troubled girl, and both of those made her an easy target for men. However, he had also known that while she had been pretty serious with a few of them, none of them had... Well, none of them had done anything that would get a woman pregnant. Plus, he had assumed Jessie had broken off those other relationships when they had gotten together. Why? How could she?
It had taken him a week just to start functioning again after he had found out. For a whole week, he had eaten, hadn't slept, had hardly moved. Any comfort of sleep had been mutilated by the dreams he knew would come. Even eating, once his favorite pastime, seemed a moot point now. He had hardly been able to get a hotel room before he collapsed into that bizarre, semi-comatose feeling that he hadn't known in so many years.
For a week, he had been like this, incapable of thought or feeling. It had been the worst week of his life, even after last time. And yet, one short week after that, he was running back to her. Like some pathetic puppy who just doesn't know any better. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." He mumbled. And boy, did he feel old. Although he was now hardly twenty-five, he felt like he must be at least seventy now. Jessie could do that to a person.
"And still, you want to forgive her?" Even his own mind seemed to know he was fighting a losing battle. Fortunately for him, (Although he didn't know it at the time) He had stopped listening to his mind years ago, back when he had first met Jessie. Now, he only seemed to listen to his heart.
"Howdy, Mister!" A child's voice from behind him startled him, but he didn't turn. He had only heard that voice once in his life, but he knew who it was. That voice was forever etched into his mind, the voice of Jessie's daughter.
"You shouldn't talk to strangers, should you?" He said rather curtly. "Didn't your mother ever teach you that?" He snuck a peek at her. Her face was a mirror image of Jessie's, save for the deep purple hair that curved back in that same spiral her mother's hair always seemed to be in.
"You're no stranger." She told him, giggling slightly. "I saw ya hugging Mommy a while ago. Are you going to marry her?" She asked innocently.
James blushed. "Well, I... That is... I, I..."
"I think you should." She informed him. "I think that Mommy would feel better if she got married. You seem nice." She speculated.
"That's a bit sudden, don't you think?" He struggled to remember what Jessie had called the girl, and realized she had no idea. "Ummm...." He blushed slightly, thinking about it. "Your name was..."
She grinned at him. "I'm Jasmine, except when I'm a bad girl. Then Mommy calls me Jessy." She looked up at him. "I thought you were yelling at me, but Momma says people used to call her Jessy, too! Isn't that funny? I guess Momma used to be a really bad girl if you think that's her name."
James gulped slightly and adjusted his collar. He hadn't realized she had heard the yelling. He had never yelled at Jessie before, not in a tone like that. Even under the circumstances, he felt a little guilty. However, Jazz shrugged it off and returned her gaze to the window. "They sell evolution stones here, too. I keep hoping Mommy touches one of the fire ones. I wanna see her evolve."
"Evolve? What do you mean?" James asked, confused.
"Well, I always figured Mom was a fire-type Pokemon. That's why her hair is so red. I bet she spits fire when she's mad, too." James nodded. That wasn't really that far from the truth. "You called Mommy a 'bitch'. I asked Auntie Mary what it meant, and she said 'female dog'. So, I bet Mommy evolves into a Arcanine!" She gave James another of her sweet, innocent looks. "Isn't that what you meant?"
"No..." So she had heard that, too. Now he felt really bad. "Your mom evolves into a Flareon." He knew that from experience. In any case, Jazz seemed bored with the conversation, and looked in the window again. He watched her for a moment. She looked so much like Jessie... It was hard to hate her, especially when she was acting so cute. After all, it wasn't her fault her mother had betrayed him. Her mother... Would Jasmine know who he was, this man who had destroyed his life? He decided to ask. "So, Where's your daddy?" That was less direct then who, anyway.
"I don't have one." She said simply.
"Everyone has a dad."
"Not me! I'm special!" She said proudly. "Here's how it happened: Mommy was sick, she had a tummy ache. So she went to the hospital. They opened up her tummy to see what was wrong, but the doctor had to go to the bathroom. While he was gone, Chansey accidentally dropped her egg in Mommy's tummy. It broke open, and I came out. The doctor got back and found me, so he took me out and sewed Mom's tummy back closed. When Mommy woke up, they said the problem was there was a baby in her!" She giggled, spreading out her arms. "And here I am!"
James laughed. "It's original, I'll give you that. Did your mother tell you that?"
"No... She said my daddy got lost, and she needs to find me a better one. She says she's going to find me the bestest daddy in the whole world!" Jasmine frowned. "But that's boring, so I made a new story up. Mine's better, huh?"
"Does your mother ever talk about your real father?" James asked. "Have you ever met him before?"
"No, never. I bet he's dead. Every time people ask Momma about him, she says she doesn't want to discuss it. Then she tries not to cry." She looked up. "So why do you ask, Mister?"
"Please, call me James." He said quietly.
"Hello, James, nice to meet you. Did you used to know my mommy?" James's face darkened slightly as a blush played across his face, and he nodded. "Momma talks about you sometimes. She tells Auntie Mary she misses you. She said she wishes you could be my daddy. That's why I think you should marry her."
James looked at his feet. He really did still love Jessie. It was hard to stay mad at her, and even harder to stay mad at little Jazzy. He turned back around to see Jessie re-enter the room, looking more stunning then he had ever thought possible. She smiled radiantly at the customer, and started speaking again. She was so incredible... But he certainly wasn't ready to just totally forgive her, at least not yet. He decided to change the subject, and kneeled down next to her. "So, you're waiting for your Mom?"
"Yeah, but she's in the middle of a sale. She's gonna be late. She knows that when she takes too long, I go to the park so I don't get bored and get into trouble." She pressed a finger against his nose. "Wanna come with me?" She pushed against his nose slightly, making him nod. "Yeah!!" She cheered, running down the walkway a little. "C'mon, James, try to catch me!"
He sighed. Such a sweet little girl... Back when he and Jessie were a couple, she had bugged him about children several times. He had always told her she was being silly. He was hardly past a child himself, and certainly didn't think he was ready to have his own. Now, he almost wished he had agreed. He desperately hoped that she hadn't just chosen some man so she could have a child, but looking back he realized how insistent she had been. "No. It can't be. She wouldn't... would she? "
"Jessie, what's wrong? You've been so quiet the last few days..." James whispered, putting his hand on her shoulder. She pulled away. "Jess, you can tell me." He said earnestly. "Please?"
She had looked at him, her lavender-blue eyes full of tears. "James... I want to get married."
"I know you do. I do too." He had comforted, reaching for her again. "I'm saving as quickly as I can, Jess. You know how little we make." He reached her shoulder, rubbing it gently. "But, as soon as I get it, you know that's the first thing I'll do." She shook her head.
"I want to get married." She repeated. "Tonight."
"Tonight?!" He nearly yelled, and she glared at him, pointing at the sleeping meowth a few feet away. "Tonight?" He said more quietly. "Are you crazy?"
"Maybe I am...." She admitted, then thought about it. "James, please? We could be to Neon Town and back before sunrise. No one would need to know, just us. Please?" She pleaded.
"Jessie, that's crazy talk." He protested. "Don't you want a nice wedding? It'll take a little longer, but wouldn't it be worth it?" She shook her head. "You'd give it all up for a ring no one would know about?" She nodded, and he briefly considered it, then shook his head. "No. we can't go tonight. That's just plain silly." He rolled over in his sleeping bag.
"But, I..."
"No!" He said a little more harshly. "It's not worth it, Jess."
She was silent for a minute, then spoke up again. "What about children?"
"What about them?" James mumbled, then thought about it for a minute. "No... No Jessie, you're not going to get into that again, are you?" He turned back around. "That's even crazier."
"No, it's not!" She hissed, keeping her voice down. "I want a kid! Mommy was my age when she had me!"
"And look at what happened to your mother!" Before he had even finished saying it, he already wanted to slap himself. Jessie beat him to it. "I deserved that." He admitted, holding his aching cheek. "Jessie, I'm so sorry. That was a horrible thing to say."
"Go away." She mumbled, moving her sleeping bag away from his. "Just go away."
"Jessie..." He pleaded. She snuggled into the bag, ignoring him totally. "Your mother..." He chose his words carefully. "Your mom made you, and every day I thank her for that. I would never have her undo anything. But she did make some mistakes. Jessie... I'm just not ready for that. What if you died? I can't raise a kid. I'd hate to become a father like yours."
"You wouldn't have to. I'd quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant." She assured him. "James, I want a child."
"I just don't think so."
"But, James..."
"No. I don't want to hear any more of this." He said firmly, then turned to her. "I have you, and that's plenty enough for me. We don't need anyone else. Just you and me." She shook her head, a few tears escaping her eyes. "In a few years, maybe." He offered. "After we've been married for a while, we can talk about it. Now, it's impossible. We couldn't even afford it. You'll have to wait."
"James..." She turned away in her bag, but he knew she was crying....
"Jessie, I'm sorry I yelled. I love you." He whispered, touching her cheek. "I'll always love you, no matter what." He kissed her softly where his hand had touched. "Let's just stay this way..."
She turned to him. "Hold me..." She whispered, and he did. Until he fell asleep. It was the last he had seen of her until...
"Jasmine? Jazz?" James looked around. "Where'd you run off to?" By the time he had gotten to the park, the girl was nowhere to be seen. "Jazz?"
"Over here, James!" came a giggle from the swing set. "I'm over here!" She waved a little, then took out a Pokéball. "Come on, Growline, melt the snow!" A small puppy pokémon emerged from the ball. It took a deep breath, then released a tiny blast of embers. It hardly melted the snow off one seat. "Good try, Growline!" Jazz encouraged, giving her dog a hug.
"Is that yours?" James asked. Jazz nodded proudly. "He's very cute." He bent down in the snow. "Hi, Growline." The puppy ran up and licked his hand. "He's nice, too."
Jasmine rolled her eyes. ""She's nice, James." She explained exasperatedly. "Growline is a Girl." Growline ran back to her, and sneezed. "It's too cold out here. Come on back." She called Growline back into her ball. "Yes, 'dat's wight. You're a good widdle puppy. Yes you are, yes you are!" She cooed in her best baby talk.
"Where'd you get a Growlithe?" James asked. "Did your mother get Her for you?"
"Nope. My grandma gave it to me." Jasmine replied, putting the ball back on her belt. "She said it was a worthless little runt. She didn't want her." Jasmine frowned a little, hurt by the words. After a second, she seemed to forget what she was frowning about, and grinned up at James. "Growlithes are the best Pokémon in the world!" She exclaimed. "Do you have any Pokémon, James?"
James nodded and pulled out a few balls. "This one's a Weezing." He explained, holding it out.
Jazzy wrinkled her nose. "I don't like Weezing." She announced, pushing it away. "They smell bad, and they always look really sad, like this!" She stuck two fingers in her mouth and stretched her face out to look as much like a sad weezing as possible.
James laughed again. "And this..." He held up the next one. "...Is a baby koffing that broke off." He called it out, and a small, round animal that looked sort of like a moon appeared.
"Koffing! Koffing!" It yelled happily, and James called it back before it could get too cold.
"You see, when weezings get older, one of the buds on them falls off. It doesn't hurt the weezing, it just grows another one. But the bud grows up to be a koffing, and then a weezing. It goes on and on like that." Jazz reached out her hand.
"Can I see it, James?" She asked. James nodded, and handed it to her. She looked at it for a second, then discreetly slipped it onto her belt. "Let me see if I have a koffing." She giggled, and reached for her belt. She felt around, like she was looking for one, and then grabbed the ball. "Look! I do!" She showed it to him proudly. "Isn't it neat?"
James chuckled again and shook his head slightly. She was soooo cute... He really didn't need another koffing, anyway. She could have it. "It's wonderful." He said quietly.
"Well..." She said, sitting down on the still-damp swing. "Aren't you going to push me?" She wiggled impatiently to show she wanted help. James nodded and gave her a little push. "Higher!" He pushed a little harder on the next swing. "Higher, James! I want to fly!" She giggled at the top of her lungs.
"Okay, you asked for it!" James said, shoving her as hard as he could. She squealed as the swing went as high as it could, and then again as she flew off of it. "Oppps." James watched helplessly as she sailed off into some nearby trees. "Jasmine?!" He ran after her. "Looks like Jasmine's blasting off again." It even rhymed. "Jazz, honey, are you okay?" Honey? He was already calling her honey? It seemed a bit early for that. But at the same time, it seemed so natural. "Jazzy, answer me!"
"Look, I'm a zubat!" Jasmine swung down from a branch on her knees, grabbing him around the neck. "Want me to suck your blood?" She let go and swung down, knocking him to his knees. "Oh, wow! A ponyta!" She kicked him in the sides. "Come on, gallop!"
"Jasmine? Jasmine? Where are you dear? Mommy's sorry she's so late!" James froze. Jessie was off of work. "Jasmine, are you..." Her voice trailed off as she saw James.
"Look, Mommy, I've got a ponyta!" Jazz exclaimed, kicking James again.
"Jasmine! Come here, Now!" Jessie yelled, motioning for her desperately.
Jasmine ran over. "What's wrong, Mommy?" She asked, clinging to her mother's leg. "What's happening?"
Jessie gently put an arm in front of her daughter. "I swear, James, if you touch her I'll kill you." She said defensively. "Jazz, I want you to run away as fast as you..."
"Easy, easy." James said soothingly. "I was just pushing her on the swing." He wasn't sure whether to be insulted by her insinuating he would try to hurt an innocent child, or impressed by her show of maternal instincts. He walked forward a little, and she moved into a fighting stance.
"Don't even think about it!" She yelled, clenching her fists. Finally, James started laughing. "The swings are over there." She reminded, jerking her head towards them. He just kept chuckling. "What's so funny?"
"I was on the swing!" Jasmine replied. "But it was wet, and I went, 'WHOOSH!'" She swung he arms to show how she flew. "And landed over here, in the trees! My Ponyta came to see how I was doing." James smiled at her calling him her ponyta, then looked up at Jessie.
"Jessie, in all the years I've known you, I've never seen you like this!" He grinned. "Boy, Jess, you've really changed." He had never, ever thought that the idea of Jessie as a mother would be appealing to him. "I really am getting old, aren't I?" It didn't seem so bad.
"I can still kick your butt." She reminded him, relaxing a little. Jasmine let go of her leg, and ran over to hug his. She grinned back at her mother.
"James is my new best friend!" She told her mom. "He's going to be my daddy now!" Jessie's jaw dropped, and she looked at James. He turned away, embarrassed. "Come on, James, tell her!" Jazz pleaded, shacking his leg. "You're my daddy!" She said it again, as if she was trying to remind him.
"Jessy..." Jessie said warningly. Jasmine looked over to her mom. "What did I tell you about lying?" James looked up. "Only bad girls lie." She finished warningly.
Jazz stomped her foot. "I'm not a bad girl, and I'm not lying!" She yelled, sticking her tongue out. "James is my dad." She hugged his leg tighter.
"James, what did you say to her?" Jessie demanded.
"I didn't say anything." He said quietly, releasing her grip. "You should go with your mom." Jazz shook her head.
"No, No!" She cried, grabbing him again. "Come on! You have to be my daddy!" James looked up at Jessie, her soft blue eyes were full of tears. As she watched her daughter, she bit her lip.
"Jazz, dear, come here." Jessie finally said. Jasmine ran over, but stopped out of her reach. "You really want him to be your daddy?" Jazz nodded enthusiastically. "Well..." Jessie hugged her tightly, and James saw a tear fall from her eye. "I'm sorry, Jazz, I'm so sorry." She nearly started crying, but caught herself. "Come on, Jazzy. We'd better go." She tried to sound happy. "I made a big sale today! Let's get pizza!" Jasmine shook her head.
"Only if James comes with us." She said. "He's coming too." She folded her arms and turned to him. "You will come, right?"
James cleared his throat. There were a million things he could have said, a million reasons why he shouldn't go. At the moment, not one would come to him. "If it's all right with your mom." He finally consented.
Jasmine turned her huge, violet-blue eyes on her mother. "Please Mommy?" She begged.
"Jasmine..." She gulped. She had always been too soft on her daughter. "If that's what you really want..." She sighed, then hung her head. "He can come." James went slightly stiff. He hadn't expected her to agree like that. "Come on." Jessie motioned, not looking at him. "There's a good place down this way."
"It has games!" Jasmine yelled over her shoulder as she followed her mom. "It's really fun!" James watched sullenly for a moment, then followed.
Jessie and James sat down on opposite sides of the booth, avoiding each other's glances. A waitress got there, and Jessie ordered pepperoni. "Is that okay?" She asked, looking at Jazz. She nodded, and James shrugged. He had never cared for pizza anyway, Jessie knew that.
"It's going to take forever." Jazzy whined. "I want to go play." A game caught her eye, and she turned to James. "Have you got any quarters, James?" He reached into his pocket and found three. "Yeah! Thanks!" She gave him a quick hug, and ran off.
"She's adorable..." It took him a moment to realize that he had said that out loud. He blushed slightly, but decided to continue. "She's really sweet."
"I remember when I used to be like that..." James looked over at Jessie, she seemed to be almost envious of her daughter. "If I'd known how hard it was... Maybe I'd have made better choices. I wasn't ready to be her mom."
"Well, you must have done something right." James pointed out. "For her to turn out like this." He paused for a second. "She said her father was dead." He finally said. "Is that true?" Jessie turned to him, surprisingly angry.
"Why, you little... You're just using her!" She grabbed him by the collar. "You just want to know about who I've been with, and you're dragging poor Jasmine into your sick game!" He shook his head rapidly. "Then, what were you talking to her about her father for?" She demanded. "If you dare even think about hurting her like that, I'll..."
"I merely asked if her father was still around. I didn't want to get us both in trouble if you two were still together. I don't consider that prying." James gagged, and she grudgingly released him. He turned away, but Jessie could tell he was holding back tears.
"Why?" He didn't look at her, but she continued anyway. "Why are you back, James? Haven't I done enough to you?" He nodded, but didn't say anything. "I don't see why, James. I didn't think you'd come back." Her voice cracked. "Do you like being treated this way?"
"Yeah, of course I do." He said sarcastically. "I mean, being grossly unappreciated, spending all of your time chasing after a girl who doesn't love you..." Jessie almost cut him off, but decided to wait until he was done. "...And knowing I'll never know any better." He sighed. "Jess, I still love you. I don't know why, I but do." She turned away.
"Don't say that." She whispered.
"It's still true, whether I say it or not." He reminded her. "Jessie..." He reached out and touched her hand, and she shook her head, trembling slightly. "Do you still love me? Do you feel anything for me?"
She looked into his eyes, then totally away. "I, I..." She gulped hard. "I..." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't know." A blatant lie, but she was afraid of the truth. She looked at the floor, avoiding his stare as best she could. "No..."
He clasped her hand tightly in his, then suddenly, almost violently pulled away. Before she could figure out what he was doing, he had her glove stripped off. There, on her slim white hand, was a tiny diamond ring. "Then what's this?" He slid it off.
"James, I..." Was he taking it back?! He had every reason to, she had broken every promise she had made to him when he had given it to her. Still, after all these years it felt like part of her. This was the first time she'd taken it off.
"Make it double." He almost smiled, examining the inner rim. "This is the one I gave you, all right." She had never realized it had an inscription. "You've been wearing gloves this whole time. I hadn't noticed it." He looked up at her. "Do you love me?" This time, a slight grin played across his face. He knew he had her. She nodded quietly, and he slipped the ring back on.
"Why did you lie?" She bit her lip. "What aren't you telling me? You can't love me and hate me."
"James...." She closed her eyes, gathering her courage. "How I feel isn't important anymore." She looked at him. "You won't want to hear this."
"I'm ready." He assured her. "Just tell me the truth."
"We can't be together. Ever." Short, to the point, and deadly. Just like her.
"You can't mean that."
"You don't understand, James. We can't be together. It was part of the agreement." She was trying her best not to cry.
"What agreement?" James was suddenly nervous. Very nervous.
I promised Jasmine's grandma that if she would pay for my bills, I would never tell anyone who Jasmine's father is. She agreed, but only if I also swore I'd never see you again." She buried her head in her arms. "I couldn't afford it by myself, James. I had no other options. None."
"Why me? What's wrong with me?" James muttered, too stunned to say anything. "Jessie, how can she do this?"
"I'm putting us all in more than enough danger as it is." Jessie said firmly. "I can't tell you any more. I'm sorry." She turned away. "I tried to warn you. I never thought you would forgive me. I... She bought me a house, James. Jasmine and I would be on the streets if I had refused. I was too scared to.. She might have had us killed if I refuse. I'm sorry."
"Jessie, who's treating you like this?!" James was suddenly mad, madder then she'd ever seen him before. Even when he had discovered the first of her dark secrets, he hadn't been this mad. "Who?!" He hissed. "She can't do this to you, she can't do this to us!"
"I'm afraid she can, James." Jessie whispered. "Anything she wants." She paused for a minute, fiddling with the ring. "I'm sorry I left, James. I thought it would be easier on you if you'd thought I'd simply left you. I didn't think you'd want to know." She shook her head. "I always wanted to be with you."
"No one should be treated that way! You can't tell... you can't force someone to do something like that!" He was trying not to show his anger, but his voice was increasingly loud. A few people in other booths turned to give him dirty looks, and he added more quietly: "I won't let her do this. I can't."
"You're making this so difficult." She turned away, and her eyes fell on Jasmine. "I can't let her get hurt. That's why I keep asking you to leave. I didn't want Jasmine to meet you." She turned back to him. "But she already has, James. Why?" That word had come up so often. "I never thought you'd find me, James. I never thought you could forgive me. Why? It'll break her heart when you leave."
"I'm not leaving." He said firmly, then turned to watch Jazz as well. "You should have come to me." He finally said. "I'd have found a way to get the money."
"You never wanted children. You told me that yourself. Remember?"
"But I loved you. I would have done anything for you..."
"You said we couldn't afford it."
"That was when it was just talking. At least I thought it was. If I'd known you were this serious, I would have done anything."
"Even pay for another man's child?"
"If it were that or loose you. I'd have gotten money from somewhere." He gulped. "I've only known her for a day, and she's already got me wrapped around her finger. She's so much like you." His voice cracked.
"You should have said that..." She whispered, and they both returned to watching Jasmine.
"Order 32?" The waitress asked, holding out a pizza.
Jessie and James both looked up, aroused from deep though. "Yes, that's us." Jessie said. "Jasmine, come here!" She turned back to James. "Please don't mention any of this in front of her." She begged. "We'll talk later."
"Hi, Mommy!" Jasmine greeted. "Hi, James!" She sat down. "Boy, I'm hungry. I could eat an entire tauros!" She reached for a slice.
"That's good, because I'm not hungry." James announced. "You can have as much as you want." Jazz grinned and took the largest piece.
"I'll be back." Jessie said, motioning toward the bathroom. "Try to save me a little, okay?"
"No promises." Jasmine warned, before taking a huge bite.
Jessie slipped into the bathroom and looked at her reflection. She really did look as old as she felt. James hadn't seemed to age at all, but she felt at least eighty. She glared at her reflection, then reached into her purse to grab some makeup. She could at least get rid of the streaks on her face. Could it work? Suddenly, her hand brushed a piece of paper. She hadn't remembered putting anything in her purse. Curious, she pulled it out. Her blood went cold as she realized it was a note. Shakily, she opened it up and read it:
And then she screamed.
"Your mom is sure taking a long time." James commented, glancing back at the ladies' room. "Does it always take her this long?" Jazz nodded, finishing off her third slice. "What does she do in there?"
"Makeup." Jasmine answered. "It means she wants to impress you."
"I hope you're right, Jasmine." He said. "I hope you're right."
Suddenly, he felt Jessie standing behind him. "Jazz, we have to go." She said quickly. James noticed she looked horribly frazzled. "Now."
"But, Mommy..." Jasmine whined.
"Now, Jessy!" Jessie said firmly, grabbing her arm. "Goodbye James."
"Jessie, what's wrong?" James asked, standing.
"Don't follow us, James, you've done enough." She warned. "Come along, Jessy."
"But Mommy!" Jasmine yelled louder. "He's my Daddy!"
"No he isn't!" Jessie snapped.
Jasmine's eyes filled with tears. "Only bad girls lie." She cried, following her mother.
"Jessie, Wait!" James yelled. He threw some money on the table and ran after her. "Jessie!" The entire restaurant was watching them by now, but he couldn't care less.
She sped up when she heard him follow her, but Jasmine was doing anything but helping, and he caught up with her quickly. "Jessie, what happened?!" He grabbed her wrist. "Please, answer me!" She spun around, momentarily releasing her grip on Jasmine's arm, and delivered a sharp, stinging slap to his face with her free hand.
He reeled back, shocked. As he put a hand to his face, she saw a trace of blood. With a start, she realized she had cut his face with her ring. With his ring. She choked on a sob and pulled it off. "Take this back." She gulped. "Just go." He just stared at her numbly with those gorgeous green eyes. "Not again..." Why couldn't he just leave? Why did he always insist in getting hurt? "I said..."
"I only wanted to help." His voice seemed distant, almost dead.. "I'm sorry." Before she could say anything, he turned. "Jasmine, I'm sorry I won't be able to be your dad. Jessie..." He turned back for a second. "Enjoy your life. I won't meddle with it anymore." His voice cracked. "Goodbye."
It was all she could do to keep from running after him. "For Jasmine... This is for Jasmine..." She tried to remind herself. But as she looked at her daughter's tear-streaked face, even she had trouble believing this was right. "Goodbye, James." She finally whispered to the dim silhouette.
"I hate you!" Jasmine screamed as the two walked in the door to their house. "You hit Daddy! I hate you!" Jessie silently closed the door behind her, locking it. "Where's Daddy? When's he getting home?!" She demanded. "I want my daddy!" Suddenly, she heard a thud behind her. She looked back to see her mother curled up in a tight ball on the floor, sobbing like a baby. "Mommy?"
"Jasmine, I'm sorry." Jessie cried. "I'm sorry I hit him, I'm sorry I yelled at you." Jasmine walked over to her mom, and dropped to her knees. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I only wanted to protect you, Jasmine. I love you so much." She sobbed. "I couldn't live with myself if I knew I got you hurt."
Jasmine's eyes were full of disbelief. "You're crying, Mommy." She whispered. "Mommies don't cry." Suddenly, Jasmine seemed to realize how hard this was. "Mommy!" Jasmine threw herself against her mom, crying too. "I'm sorry too, Mommy. I love you..."
When Mary got home that night, she found them asleep in the hallway, still hugging. "Oh, Jessie." She whispered, shaking her head. "Poor dear..." She dropped her coat over the two of them. "My poor darling..."
A few days later...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young woman with deep purple hair answered the door. "James?! What are you doing here?!" She exclaimed. He looked like something the cat hadn't bothered to drag in.
"Becky, I need your help." James explained. "Do you have the results for Jasmine's paternity test? I heard she took it here."
"Jasmine's tests?" Becky asked, surprised. "What do you want with the tests? Jessie told me not to give them to anyone, least of all you. She said her life was in danger." Becky moved back into the doorway a little.
"That's why I need them." James replied. "I need to find out who's doing this to her. I have to stop them. Please, Becky?"
Becky looked at him suspiciously. "Jessie said you were through with her. She said she personally made sure of it. It tore her apart.. I assumed that meant you were gonna keep your nose out of this."
"She lies to me so often, Becky." James sighed. "I can forgive myself for lying to her this once."
Becky shook her head slightly. "You're not ready for this, James."
"I'm ready for anything." He assured her.
To be continued....
Jasmine! Isn't she cute, folks? I owe a part of Jasmine to my niece Mikaila. That scene where Jasmine takes James's koffing was inspired by a time Mikaila tried to steal my James card. (She put it in her pile of cards, then began shuffling through them while saying: "Let me see if I have a James card." When she saw I had taken it back, she pretended not to notice and said "Still looking!") She's only four, though.
Sorry to end this again. There seem to be no good ending places in this story. The next chapter is coming soon, so take heart.
Reviews, please! ^_^ The first chapter got half as many reviews as Perfection, but I think this story is a million times better. What do you think?