Disclaimer: I do not own any characters by Sailor Moon or Escaflowne. If I did, Van would be mine! MUAHAHA…
Author's Notes: Minna-chan! I'm on a roll today here…*giggles* Two chapters in one day?? Don't worry, it won't happen again ;) *grins* Anyway, I know there aren't as many of you readers of this fic out there, but for those that are reading and reviewing, I love you guys. This fic is my first venture into writing something a little darker, and it was tough, let me tell you. But don't worry, it doesn't stay this way for much longer. We're about at most 2 chapters away from the end.
WARNING: If you haven't seen the full series of Escaflowne, this chapter contains spoilers, especially in regards to the significance of the black feather.
I just had to get that out of the way. Special thanks to Angel-chan and Ivory-chan for giving me ideas and offering their opinions on what they thought so far of the fic (they've actually watched the series) and as usual, to the rest of the chans! And yeah, thanks to D-chan for telling me about Heero's seiyuu (Midorikawa Hikaru) and his music. It's been EXTREMELY inspirational in writing, which is why I think I'm all of a sudden writing more again. *grins*
Anyway, do enjoy… and you know the usual drill :) Ja ne!
*Tenshi sneaks back for one last word* By the way, in case you're thinking you know who the deity is, you'd be partially correct. As for what I mean, you'll find out in the other chapters! *runs away as Heero comes after her with a gun, chasing her out*
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Cursed: Chapter 4
She stood up in front of him, and as her wings were displayed to full prominence, he felt as if he were kneeling in front of an angel. Never had he seen her look so beautiful, so serene. He didn't miss the smile that appeared on her lips as she did that, or the look of fear that came over her face when the black feather had appeared. What had it meant? He somehow knew at that moment that her present state of mind, combined with everything else she had been through, was responsible for making her the woman she was today. He had to know. Despite all the obstacles that had been thrown his way nearly preventing him from being at the ball, he knew he was here for a reason. He had to know.
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Somewhere up above, a deity smiled. "It's changing already…"
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"Your mother told me what happened…"
I looked up at him in surprise. Why would my mother have done such a thing? I was still having difficulty comprehending everything that had just happened today. Chid's unexpected appearance at the ball, and the black feather. Things were happening faster than anticipated. Though I had prepared myself mentally for my fate, actually having it happen was another thing. His eyes shone with compassion and empathy, and I felt myself longing to share my feelings with him, unload my heavy burden that had lain on my shoulders for so many years. But I couldn't. How could I do that to him? He had left me so long ago, never to return. A cold wind blew, causing me to shiver slightly. His eyes narrowed, and he removed his coat to put it over my shoulders. For one brief moment, I allowed myself the luxury of experiencing something other than the usual pain that existed in my life. I snuggled into the jacket, and felt the remnants of the warmth from his body, smelling the cologne that tickled my nose. He placed his left hand on my shoulder, and I felt frissions of awareness shoot through my body. My eyes flew to his, and I could see that he had felt the same thing when he had touched me. The look of shock on his face was so comical that I almost laughed. What was this man doing to me? How was it that being with him for a few hours could destroy what took me years to become? His deep baritone voice was doing things to my insides that I never thought existed.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I broke my promise to you." His deep blue eyes were filled with such sadness and regret. It was odd seeing a sentiment that normally appeared in my eyes appearing in someone else's. "I'm sorry for not being there for you, for not being able to help you through all that you've gone through. I'm sorry for all the pain you experienced." His right hand tilted my chin so he could look into my eyes. "Tell me Usa-chan… I want to know."
I feel the pull of his gaze, and I can feel myself breaking, yearning to tell him everything. He had been my confidant as a child, almost a lifetime ago, back when I still held my youthful beliefs in happily ever afters. But what right did I have to bury him with all that I went through? What right did he have to come back into my life fifteen years too late? I opened my mouth to tell him that but to my eternal surprise, something else entirely different came out. In hindsight, I realised that the subconscious need to talk must've taken over.
"Do you know what it's like to wish for someone to die and have it almost come true?" I whispered, losing myself in the memories of that fateful day.
"No, tell me…"
And the one memory that had been playing in my head like an endless tune began again.
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A young Usagi had been playing in the palatial gardens with a few of the other children. Her heart hadn't really been in it since Chid left two days ago. She missed her best friend so much. Despite the age differences, there had been a bond that existed between the two children. After much persuasion, Queen Hitomi had managed to convince Usagi to go outside. So there she sat listlessly, listening to the laughter of the other children. A face appeared suddenly before her. A young boy, with brown hair and eyes, wearing black pants and a deep blue shirt, had a strange expression on his face as he stared at her. He then peered at her back, as if expecting something to be there.
"Where are your wings, freak child?" He asked nastily. The other children had long since gotten tired of trying to get a response from the silent princess and had moved on to another part of the gardens.
She gasped in shock, for her wings were a secret. Her papa had told her not to say anything to anyone.
"I don't have wings!" She yelled, blue eyes flashing.
"I know you have them. Your father is one of the cursed ones. Despite your mother being from the Mystic Moon, I know the wings exist! So show me!" He shouted back, poking at her back. He accidentally shoved her too hard, causing her to tumble to the ground, scraping her knees painfully. She cried out in pain, staring in horror at the red stain that was rapidly spreading on her pale blue dress. Anger flooded her body, as she stood up slowly. She had never experienced such meanness in her life, and as such, her response was one born out of instinct of any four year-old in that situation. She screamed those damning words at him, words that would later haunt her for a long time to come.
"You're such a mean person!" Tears flowed endlessly, and she swiped at her face, never hating anyone as much as she did at that moment. "Oh I wish you would die!"
Something strange and unbelievable happened upon the words leaving her mouth. A warmth suffused her body, and she watched in open-mouthed shock at the boy clutching at his chest, screaming in agony. The shouts thundered in her head, drowning out all sound and thought. She had stood there, frozen in shock, unable to register what was going on in front of her. The eerie silence flooded her mind, her eyes taking in the boy who was dancing to death's tune, unable to react. Suddenly, her mother had appeared out of nowhere, cradling the dark-haired boy in her arms, her eyes meeting Usagi's with a knowing look of sorrow. The boy gave a few coughs before waking up, sucking in the life-giving oxygen back into his lungs. He stood up slowly, and recognized Queen Hitomi. He stared at Usagi in terror, backing away slowly. The older woman let out a deep sigh, and closed her eyes. When she reopened them, the young boy merely glared at Usagi, muttering "Freak" under his breath before walking away.
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"I couldn't move, Chid. I couldn't. It was as if I was watching myself kill that boy, before Mother came along. I… I almost killed that boy with my wishes!" Her voice was so saturated with anguish that it tore him apart. Never had he felt so helpless and inadequate at that moment. How could he ever find the right words to say? He did the one thing he thought would help at the moment. He hugged her. Initially, she stiffened up but as he continued to hold her, offering her silent comfort and support, she began to relax. And it was only then the tears began to fall. Harsh sobs wracked her body, and he could feel his shirt getting soaked. She cried for the loss of innocence of the little girl she once was, and she cried for the years that she had missed from her life. And Chid held her tight throughout the whole time, never letting go.
The torrent of tears finally subsided. It felt as if I was finally allowing myself to let go of the burden that I had carried with me for so long. It had defined who I was, and I, in turn, had allowed it to control my life. I slowly pulled myself away from Chid, feeling extremely embarrassed. To my eyes, it seemed as if he was unwilling to let me go but I chalked it up to an overactive imagination. And as I gazed at him through watery eyes, never had he looked so wonderful to me. The golden aura surrounding him blazed, brighter than ever before. Then I noticed something strange and with a gasp of dismay, I realised that I had completely soaked his poor white shirt.
"Oh my God… I didn't mean to!"
He looked at me quizzically. "You didn't mean to what?" He asked, and following my gaze, he realised what I was looking at. With a chuckle, he grinned at me. "No harm done. What's a wet shirt between friends?"
I don't know how it happened but I couldn't help it. My lips began curving of its own accord and I truly smiled for the first time in fifteen years.
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Now I know everyone's expecting a happy ending after this point, but it doesn't quite work that way either. I am still cursed with my powers, and the thought has occurred to me to wish them away. Again, that's not how things work. Come to think of it, I'm not exactly sure how things work. Chid left the very next day with some emergency that came up in Freid. It's been months now and I still haven't seen or heard from him. He helped me gain back some perspective, shared the memories that have plagued me since childhood. From that day forth, I began slowly living day by day, and though I still can't forget what happened fifteen years ago, for the first time in my life, it isn't dictating who I am.
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He appeared suddenly from out of nowhere. Majestic and imposing, he seemed to strike fear in most men, but upon closer inspection, his eyes were sad and mysterious. He stood before the younger man, larger than life.
"But… I thought you were dead, Folken."
His lips curved in secret amusement, though his expression was still somber.
"I don't have a lot of time here. You must know everything about my niece."
His wings sprang open, magnificent in its wingspan and ominously black. The younger man stared in shock at them, reminded of what he had seen just a few months ago, before his duties as the Duke had overwhelmed him once again.
"The black feathers symbolize your fate. When they're pure and white, they represent your lifeline."
"And when they're black," Chid whispered, horror creeping in his voice.
Folken nodded, his eyes saddened as he thought of his niece's fate. "It's up to you to save her from it."
Chid was taken aback. Save her from it? How?
Folken merely looked at him as if reading his thoughts, and shook his head. "That is all I can say."
And with that, Chid woke up.