Thanks,
Meredith
Forgive Me 7/?
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory
mallorys-girl@cinic.rr.com
Mamoru tried to breathe, but found he could not. Demando gazed out at him coolly from the surface of the water, right where Dia's reflection should have been! His gaze moved from the prince to the child leaning over towards him, a single delicate hand outstretched, her eyes trusting and innocent, yet somehow mature and knowing... just like in his nightmare! Chibi-Usa must have seen the reflection too, for she gave a little frightened whimper, but where the senshi and Mamoru drew away from Dia, the little pink haired child moved just a little closer, though fear dominated her ruby eyes. Then something changed. What it was, Mamoru would never know, but suddenly Dia's eyes changed from awe to loathing, and with much more force than needed, she slammed both hands down on the water, effectively destroying the image.
"GO AWAY!" she cried turning swiftly, white hair and skirts flying.
"Dia..." Chibi-Usa began, but the older girl wanted no part of it. She was desperate in her flight, and pushed her sister out of the way.
"Out of the way, Rabbit!" she shouted, scurrying away, leaving Chibi-Usa to stare after her from her place on the floor. Mamoru stared to go after Dia, but soon realized she'd already stopped running.
"Whoa there," a young woman gently took hold of Dia's shoulder, effectively stopping her escape. Looking closely, Mamoru realized with a start that it was Peggy Jones, one of the Rainbow Crystal carriers from so long ago. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"
"I...I..that is, um," Dia just shook her head, finally giving up on coherent speech as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Peggy-san, fancy meeting you here," Ami began nervously, finally regaining her composure. Mamoru merely stared, his mind reeling.
"Oh, hello!" Peggy said brightly, her brown eyes smiling. "It's nice to see you again, Ami-san, Rei-san, Mamoru-san." She returned her attention to Dia, who was trying desperately to stifle her sniffles. "Did you see my fountain?"
"Hai," Dia replied respectfully, "The statue, it's very pretty." "Why thank you," the other woman replied, "You know, they say this fountain is magic. It's supposed to show your true eflection," Dia nodded slowly, her violet eyes fixed on the woman.
"That's not too good for some people," the little girl replied, biting her lip. Peggy chuckled a little, shaking her head.
"You're a very wise little girl," she smiled.
"Hai, but only sometimes." Dia said. Peggy patted the girl's back, then checked her watch.
"Oh, my!" she cried, "I'm going to be late! It was nice meeting you," she smiled down at Dia, "Good to see you again, Mamoru-san!" she said as she hurried past.
"Ja ne!" Mamoru managed, just barely. Once again the senshi and Mamoru found themselves alone with the little girl. The young man bent down to help Chibi-Usa, who hadn't moved from the floor. Dia just stood there, looking at the floor, her long white locks partially hiding her face. The others could only stare at her incredulously, wondering what in the world was going on. Mamoru was the first to gather the remains of his composure, and he took a tentative step towards the little girl. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, staring death straight on, paralyzed. Her violet eyes darted heavenward, seeking a savior, a sanctuary...
Then she saw her way out.
"USAGI-MAMA!" quick as a flash, Dia darted past Mamoru and ran to Usagi, who'd only just rounded the corner with Minako, their arms full of Manga.
"What's wrong, Dia?" Usagi asked, looking at the little girl's tear stained face. She quickly handed her load to Minako and picked the child up. Dia merely bit her lip and stared up at Usagi. The older girl frowned, reaching with her free hand too touch the bruise on Dia's forehead, as though she'd just noticed it, "Did you hit your head, sweetcake?" The child in her arms nodded enthusiastically, eager to find a scape goat. She looked back at Mamoru and the senshi, as though expecting them to contradict her, but they did not. It was as though they had made a silent pact to never let their princess know.
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Mamoru watched Usagi and Dia with increasing worry. The little white-haired child hadn't moved from her place in Usagi's arms since they'd left the mall, and she was still settled there comfortably as they walked through the park. He could tell it was making the other senshi nervous as well, save Minako who had yet to be filled in on... whatever it was that happened. But there was something else floating about in Mamoru's heart, along with the worry, something he recognized, and was ashamed to admit. He was jealous. Terribly, terribly jealous of the little girl who had her arms tied to possessively around Usagi's neck. Why should he be jealous? Dia was a little girl, Usagi's *daughter* as well! He remembered how silly he'd thought Usagi to be when she'd admitted she was jealous of Chibi-Usa.
'She gets more of your attention than I do!' Usagi had said bitterly, tears in her eyes. At the time Mamoru had chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around her, assuring her that, yes, he did love her as he kissed her neck and temple.
He didn't find it so amusing anymore, and apparently, neither did Chibi-Usa, who watched the pair through narrowed eyes. But there was something more there as well, Mamoru knew, something beyond Dia... He shuddered, realizing exactly what it was that made him *that* jealous. Demando. The long dead White Prince had something to do with this, with Dia, and *that* was what made Mamoru jealous.
"Hey Naru! Umino!" Usagi called out, startling Mamoru. She waved to her friends from school, setting Dia on her feet so she could run over and visit with them. Dia watched the older girl go, then walked over to a near by bench and took a seat. She sat there, head down, staring down at her hands.
"What's going on?" Minako asked, a little too loudly. Ami hushed her and pulled her aside to explain. The blond senshi's eyes grew wide, and she looked at Dia fearfully. There they stood, confronted with things they weren't prepared for, and could not comprehend. Finally, Chibi-Usa removed her hand from Mamoru's and walked towards her sister. Mamoru started to go after her, but Dia's voice stopped.
"Ne, Chibi-Usa, I don't think they want you near me," Dia said tearfully, rubbing at her nose. Her little sister looked back at the others, who stood frozen still, waiting to see what she would do. Slowly, Chibi-Usa approached the bench and took a seat beside the other girl, putting a gentle arm around her sister. Dia sniffled a bit more loudly and hugged Chibi-Usa back. "Do you hate me now?"
"No, I don't hate you," Chibi-Usa replied gently.
"I'm scared."
"Dia... it'll be all right. I don't know what's wrong, but it'll be all right," the child assured her sister. Dia nearly hugged the life out of Chibi-Usa in return, long white locks mixing with short pink ones.
"Thank you, Chibi-chan," Dia pulled her hair away from her face and smiled at her sister, "I'm sorry I called you a rabbit. Even if you do kinda look like one."
"I do not!" Chibi-Usa tried to hide her smile, pretending to be insult.
"Sure you do," Dia reached a delicate finger to poke a pink odango.
"Take it back, Dia!"
"Nahu," the white-haired girl giggled. Chibi-Usa smiled fiendishly and reached one of her little hands to grab the little golden pin Dia wore on her dress. "Hey, Mama gave me that! Give it back!"
"You'll have to catch me first!" Chibi-Usa was off and running down the hill, towards the playground, with Dia at her heels. The senshi and Mamoru watched them go, eyes wide.
"Are you sure it was his reflection?" Minako asked as they took a seat, keeping a close eye on Chibi-Usa and Dia, who had abandoned their chase to play on the swings.
"It couldn't have been anyone else!" Rei exclaimed, "It set my alarms off, I'm tell you."
"Mine too," Mamoru said quietly, "It was so much like the dream..."
"What dream?" Makoto asked. The young man looked up, locking eyes with each senshi in turn before proceeding to tell them about the dream, as well as the incidents from the past two days. When he was finished, they all struggled to pull their jaws off the ground.
"What do you think is going on?" Minako asked.
"I have no idea!" Mamoru said in frustration, "I just know it involves Demando... and that frightens me."
"But he's dead," Ami put in quietly, "A year and four months dead if you want to be picky about it."
"That doesn't always matter," Rei said, "As you well know."
"What do YOU think it is, Rei?" Makoto asked. The fiery senshi didn't have a chance to reply, as Usagi rushed by, calling out for Chibi-Usa and shouting about how late she was.
"Bye, Mamo-chan!" she said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, "Bye Minna-chan!" A whirl of golden locks, Usagi turned back towards the playground, "Come ON Chibi-Usa! Mom is gonna kill me! Bye Dia!" she blew the little girl a kiss before grabbing a huffing and puffing Chibi-Usa's hand and dashing off towards the exit.
"Tornado," Minako shook her head.
"Hurricane," Mamoru corrected her. The others laughed nervously, their gazes resting on Dia, who now sat by herself on the swing set, moving back and forth distractedly.
"You know, she could be possessed," Rei suggested quietly All eyes turned to her. The fiery priestess shrugged and stared off thoughtfully.
"By Demando?" Makoto asked skeptically.
"You're right, it does sound a little off, doesn't it?"
"Whatever it is, Dia is in danger... I, I can't let anything happen to her!" Mamoru said, rubbing his temples. The girls nodded sympathetically.
"If you're really that worried about her, Mamoru, there is something we can do," Rei began. The young man looked up at her, interest peeked.
"OH!" Ami cried quite suddenly, blushing. The others all looked at her, but soon understood. It had begun to rain. At first it was a little drizzle, but it quickly became a down pour.
"Come on," Rei said, "we can finish this at the temple!"
"Dia! Time to go!" Mamoru called out, then stopped short. The little swing once occupied by his daughter was empty, moving back and forth on it's own as the rain continued.
"Where'd she go?" Minako asked worriedly.
"She was just there a second ago!" Mamoru exclaimed.
"We'll split up and look for her," Rei said decisively. The other nodded and hurried off in separate directions. There were only so many places a little girl could hide in a park.
"DIA!" Mamoru called as rounded the corner. Another little playground sat situated in the bushes, but it, like all the others, was unoccupied. Fear gripped his heart... this was so much like the dream! In his mind he saw Chibi-Usa's eyes filled with fear as she called out to her sister... the look on Dia's face as she gazed up at Demando, the image of her small hand, so trustingly put in the White Prince's large one...
"DIA!!!! Come on, this isn't funny! Please, sweetie, answer me!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. The wind blew harshly through the deserted park, pelting raindrops harshly against the young man's form. Turning on his heel, Mamoru headed back down the path. The other senshi were waiting for him by a tree, worried expressions painted on their faces. "Any luck?" he asked, already knowing the answer. All four shook their heads.
"The park isn't that big..." Ami said, "Do you think someone might have...?"
"Kami-sama, where is she!" Makoto let out.
"Is there any place we haven't checked yet?" Mamoru asked. The senshi shook their heads, save Rei.
"We didn't check the left path," she replied.
"Why would she go down there?" Minako asked, "That goes to the graveyard!" Mamoru locked eyes with Rei and they both nodded. Together the five ran down the muddy path, stopping only when they came to the wrought iron gate that marked the little cemetery
Sure enough, there was Dia, standing with her fingers laced in the iron working of the fence, oblivious as the wind and rain whipped her tiny form without mercy.
"Dia?"Mamoru asked. For the third time that day, Dia turned her tear stained face towards the young man, violet eyes filled with pain. "Don't wander off like that again!" he said without thinking, rushing towards her. He stopped when he saw the bruise on her forehead clearly. It was more pronounced then ever... from several feet away, you could tell exactly what it was; a black moon.
"Let me try," Rei said, putting a hand on Mamoru's shoulder supportively, before going to the young girl and squatting beside her. "Why did you run away Dia?" the child didn't answer, but turned back towards the grave yard, eyes fixed on something in the distance.
"What's that?" she pointed towards one of the graves.
"That's a gravestone, Dia," Rei replied evenly.
"No," the child shook her white locks violently, pointing her finger lower, towards the wreath of flowers someone had laid beside their loved one's resting place.
"It's wreath."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why is it there?" Dia asked absently, still staring at the flowers. Rei shook her head in puzzlement "Some one who loved that person very much just wanted to let them know they cared," the raven haired priestess replied. Dia nodded slowly.
"Can I do that?"
"For who?"
"My Otouto-chan. He likes flowers," Dia said softly, brushing some hair away from her face. Rei looked back at Mamoru helplessly. He shrugged his shoulders and frowned. He knew for a fact that Dia didn't have anymore siblings Chibi-Usa had told him so. Suddenly, Dia turned to Rei and grabbed the other girl's hands desperately.
"I'm scared," she cried, "I... It's all my fault and I'm so so scared!" Rei looked at the girl with kind eyes, smoothing the matted hair away from her face.
"I think we can help you, Dia," she said carefully, "But I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?" The priestess offered Dia her hand, and the white haired girl looked at it hesitantly Slowly, she put her tiny hand in Rei's, watching as the older girl's fingers curled around her own.
"Yes, I trust you," she said softly.
"Good," Rei smiled, "Now lets get out of this rain."
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By the time they arrived at the temple, lightening was ripping the sky to shreds, heralded by crashes of thunder so powerful they shook the windows. Usako must be a basket case by now, Mamoru thought worriedly. He knew how much she hated storms, and longed to put his arm around her. But there were matters that needed attending, and unfortunately, it seemed Usagi mustn't be involved in it. Now they sat in the main room, the shutters closed against the storm, and the red curtains drawn. The fire burning in the center of the room was the only light, casting shadows on the walls with it's dusty gold light. Dia eyed each of these shadows suspiciously, as though she suspected each one of wrong doing.
"Ready?" Rei asked from the doorway. She wore her traditional robes, the red fabric making a 'tish' noise as it brushed on the wood floor. The assembled group nodded slowly, each of them wrapped in blankets, their clothing soaked through. "Well, she's definitely not possessed," the priestess whispered to Mamoru as she took a seat. The young prince raised his eyes.
"Then... what?" he whispered back, even though Dia was off in her own little world, staring into the fire and muttering to herself.
"I want to do a past life regression," Rei replied. A rippled of surprise emanated from the other senshi, and Mamoru drew back slightly. "Don't worry," the Martian woman assured him, "It won't hurt her. There's probably a memory of some sort manifesting itself in a negative way. Most children have trouble separating past life memories from those related to their current state... it's quite common. That's what I'm thinking it is, since Dia is eight, and the memories are very common up to the age of ten. Though," here Rei paused thoughtfully, "You need to be prepared for what we might find there..."
"What are you suggesting, Rei?" Mamoru asked fearfully. The priestess met his gaze head on.
"I'm just saying that delving into past lives is dangerous. Some of our own experiences in the Silver Millennium aren't exactly things we enjoy being able to remember. They shape the way we live today, even if we'd rather not admit it."
The others looked down, seeing the truth in her words. Ami's fear of relationships steamed from the memory her failed one with Zoicite. Born of the need to protect her princess, Makoto's aggressive nature showed through more often than not. Years of experience she remembered, but did not have, aided Rei with her psychic skills. Minako's need to feel loved also came from the Silver Millennium Even Mamoru and Usagi, who's memories were mainly happy, were also not uninfluenced. Usagi's fear of storms, for example, and Mamoru's protectiveness of her were both carried over from their past lives.
"You're sure it's not dangerous?" Makoto asked, glancing at Dia, who sat comfortably on a large cushion, the only piece of furniture in the room. Rei nodded.
"Alright," Mamoru said, "Let's get on with this." He was afraid that the longer he waited, the more he would have time to think about the consequences Best to dive in head first.
"Dia," Rei said softly, laying a hand on the little girl's shoulder. The child looked up, violet eyes shining with tears "I want you to lay down and relax," Dia obeyed, her breathing becoming steady. "Now close your eyes," the priestess when on, "I'm going to describe a place to you, and I want you to try and see it in your head, alright?"
"Okay." Dia's voice was soft, and faraway.
"You're in a long hallway, and there are lots and lots of doors all around you. Each door will take you to a different place, a different person you were before you were Dia. Can you see it?"
"Yes."
"You've done this before, haven't you?" Ami asked. Rei nodded, lowering her voice.
"A friend of grandpa's, her daughter had a fear of water," she replied, "It was so intense I started to think it might have been ingrained in a past life. That was the first time I did this, but I've done it four more times as well." The priestess turned away then, directing her attention back to the child.
"Alright, now, I want you to walk down the hallway, look for a door that makes you hurt. Tell me when you find it, but don't open it yet." There was silence for a few minutes, until Dia let out a little moan. Mamoru drew back, the bruise on her forehead was no longer a bruise, but a full fledged black moon! And yet... it wasn't the only thing there, it overlapped with the crescent moon, the mark of the royal family.
"I found it... my back hurts!" Dia whimpered.
"It's all right," Rei smoothed the girl's hair. Turning to the others, she said, "Souls travel in groups, to relive good relationships, and fix the old ones. Remember that... this may be someone we know." They nodded in acknowledgement to the ancient prayer, watching as Rei moved closer to Dia.
"I want you to open the door now," she ordered. Dia let loose a small cry as she obeyed, then fell silent, her features twisting into an expression of clarity.
"Dia, tell us where you are." A collective gasp filled the room as everyone held their breathes. The small child laying on the cushion, the same little girl who'd played at the beach with Chibi-Usa, the same girl who'd sat in Usagi's lap and shared a cinnamon bun, the same girl who's features were so permanently etched in guilt, responded;
"I'm not Dia anymore.... I'm Demando."