Title: Somewhere In Between
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Category: Bella POV; Alt-Universe
Summary: Bella wakes up one morning to find everything she knows in life has changed
overnight. Now, caught in some sort of strange reality, can she ever find her way back to the way
things used to be . . . and does she really want to go back?
Disclaimer: I own them all and they'll be appearing this fall on *my* network, ok?
Author's Notes: I wanted to write an alternate universe fic for Young Americans where everything
was just a little different than it had been on the show and in trying to come up with something, I
ended up with this. It's not exactly what I had in mind but we'll see how it turns out I guess.
--------------------------------------------
Part 5
Saturday morning usually started early for her. Her dad had always had business out of town on
Saturdays and she and Grace were supposed to take turns watching the station. But, of course
that meant that Bella ended up doing it every Saturday for one reason or another. If there was
one thing she could always count on from Grace, it was an excuse. But this Saturday was
different. There was no station to worry about; no Grace to need her for something she should
have been able to take care of herself . . . there was nothing to keep her from sleep. Nothing, that
is, except her dreams . . .
Dreams weren't something she usually even remembered. Most of the time they just faded away
with the last remnants of sleep as she woke up and began her day. But this dream . . . well, this
wasn't the type of thing you just forgot with a rub of your eyes and a stretch of your arms. This
was . . . something else entirely.
Ryder was kissing her. That was the first thing she became aware of . . . his lips on hers, his hand
in her hair, his arm around her waist as he pulled her closer. He tasted good, sweet. She heard
one of them moan as she felt him deepen the kiss and she honestly wasn't sure if it had been him
or her. It didn't seem to matter at that point.
She'd never felt so aroused in her entire life. Her skin tingled and her blood rushed through her
veins so fast that she could feel her own pulse everywhere. Or maybe she was feeling his pulse.
It didn't matter. The whole world and every part of her being was being engulfed by this
electrifying kiss and she couldn't seem to concentrate on anything else for more than a fleeting
moment.
"Bella . . . ohhhh Bella . . ." he groaned as their lips parted and he began to kiss his way down her
neck. She gasped for air, her chest heaving and her skin flushed. She wanted him to kiss her
again. She never wanted him to stop kissing her and touching her and . . .
"Bella . . . Bella?"
Ryder voice sounded different all of the sudden. His accent was gone. And he sounded a lot like .
. .
"Bella, wake up already," the voice said again. Bella finally pulled herself from the dream and
forced her eyes opened to see the real owner of the voice standing over her bed.
"Grace," she said with recognition as her eyes focused on her little sister's face. Grace. Wait, if
Grace was here then was she . . . was she back? Bella sat up and looked quickly around the
room. Nope, still in the dorm room. She was still stuck in wherever she was, so . . . "Grace, what
are you doing here?" she asked.
"What? Bella, it's Saturday, remember?" Grace said as if that should explain everything away.
"Yeah, and?"
"The second Saturday of the month," Grace clarified, still sounding like her sister should know
what she was getting at without her having to actually say it.
"I'm gonna need more information," Bella told her.
"Man, you really are acting weird," Grace said. "I mean, Margaret told me that you'd seemed a
little out of sorts last week but I didn't realize . . ."
"You talked to Margaret?" Bella asked. She hadn't called back to the number she had listed for
her parents since that first day when she'd talked to the strange woman who was apparently
some sort of housekeeper-slash-nanny to the Banks family.
Grace nodded and said, "She spoke to mother, too."
"Mother?" Bella repeated quizzically. Since when did her little sister call anyone "mother"?
"Yes, and she's very worried about you. I told her that I was sure you'd be okay and that I'd let her
know how you seemed after I saw you today, but now I'm beginning to wonder if Margaret and
Mother aren't right to worry."
"We go somewhere every second Saturday together?" Bella asked as she slowly tried to piece
together what Grace was saying. She needed to figure this out and try to seem like what Grace
would deem as normal before the girl tried to have her hospitalized or lobotomized or some such
thing.
"For the last five years, yes," Grace confirmed.
"And today we're going . . .?" Bella trailed off.
"To the spa . . . isn't that what we planned?" Grace asked.
"And we're getting there how?"
"Joseph, of course. He's outside with the car waiting for us."
"Of course," Bella replied, sounding more than a little confused.
"It's only an hour's drive, not too far. Besides, this was your idea. You know how I hate those mud
masks they give you at that place. They smell funny."
"Well, we don't have to go if you don't want," Bella offered as she finally stood up from the bed
and walked over to the mirror. She noticed that the other bed was empty and didn't look as
though it had been slept in so apparently Jake had broken curfew for the third time that week.
"No, we've already planned this so it's fine. But we need to get a move on if we're going to make
our appointment. You know how much I hate missing appointments. It's tacky," Grace said
disdainfully.
Did those words just come out of the mouth of Grace Banks? Bella actually turned to look at her
sister for a moment. She still *looked* the same, but this was definitely not the same girl.
"What?" Grace asked at her sister's sudden scrutiny.
"Nothing . . . It's just, uh, how's school going?" she asked, trying to change the subject as she
went about getting dressed so they could get on with whatever plan it was they'd apparently
made.
"It's okay. Although I'm beginning to wish I'd gone to an all-girls school again like last year," she
said with a sigh.
Bella turned to look at Grace again. "Excuse me?"
"Well, it's just that the boys do seem to be a distraction. You know, they're always flirting and
whatnot." She shrugged. "I guess I'm just not used to it. Not that I don't like boys, I think I just like
them better away from school. It's easier to concentrate that way."
Bella just nodded and picked up her hairbrush, not answering for fear that she might have to ask
this girl when pod-people had taken over her hormonally overactive little sister. It was better just
to keep quiet, she was sure.
Grace kept telling her about her teachers and her subjects as Bella finished getting dressed.
From the way the younger girl talked to her, Bella had the feeling that the two had a much closer
relationship here than she had ever had with the Grace she knew. It was sort of nice, being so
close to her sister for a change. She listened intently to Grace as she chose a sweater from her
closet and quickly changed into it.
"So, Bella, can I ask you a question?" the petite brunette asked as she sat on the edge of the bed
across from her sister who was sitting in the desk chair as she bent to put on her socks.
"Yeah, sure, Grace," Bella responded.
"Um . . . who is . . . um, Ryder?" she stammered out uncertainly.
Bella's eyes shot up quickly. "How do you know Ryder?" she asked.
"I don't," Grace said. "It's just . . . when I came in to wake you up . . . well, you said his name.
Were you, um . . . dreaming about him?" she asked. The girl seemed to be a little embarrassed
by the thought of her sister dreaming about a boy, which was probably stranger than Grace
asking about him.
"He's just . . . Ryder's a friend of mine. He lives in town. We met at the grocery store last week.
And . . . well, I guess that maybe I might have been dreaming something involving him. I mean,
maybe I was dreaming about a conversation we had or something. I really don't even remember,"
she lied.
Grace nodded, but Bella knew that the girl didn't believe her. It was strange, but she could tell
that they had a connection and that Grace could tell when she wasn't being up front with her. She
actually seemed hurt by the fact that Bella would choose not to tell her the truth. Still, she wasn't
sure how else to explain things. Everything she said about pretty much anything was going to end
up being less than true so it wouldn't matter in the end.
"We'd better get going," Bella said as she finished putting on her shoes and stood up. Grace
nodded and stood as well. As Bella grabbed her purse, her sister opened the door and walked
out ahead of her. She turned to follow, but paused for a moment as she walked by her dresser.
The family photo, the one she had been so shocked by on that first morning, caught her eye as
she passed. She studied it for a moment, realizing that the four faces in the picture looked
happier than she ever remembered her own family looking. It suddenly occurred to her that she
actually had a pretty good life here. Maybe it was time she started enjoying it while it lasted.
"Hey Bell, you coming?" Grace asked from the doorway.
Bella looked up quickly and nodded. "Right behind you, Gracie," she said as she followed her out
the door. Though she wasn't sure why she'd all of the sudden called her sister by a nickname that
she couldn't remember using since they were little girls, it felt right. It felt familiar; like somewhere
along the line she and Grace really had been this close. It was just that they'd grown up and
somehow lost that bond. Apparently the Bella and Grace in this world had found a way to keep it.
Bella might be able to learn a thing or two from her little sister after all.
* * * * *
"So, then you don't have a boyfriend?" Bella asked as she and Grace sat side by side in their
chairs in the salon. They'd already had facials, massages, manicures and pedicures. They were
now waiting on their nails and toes to dry so that they could go to the next room to get their hair
cut.
"You know that I don't," Grace replied matter-of-factly.
Bella shrugged. "Well, I wasn't sure. I mean, you don't tell me *everything* . . . do you?"
"I'd tell you that, trust me," Grace said.
"Okay, good to know."
"So . . . what about you?" the younger girl asked.
"What about me?" Bella asked in return.
"Do you? Have a boyfriend, I mean."
"Oh . . . no, not currently," she said.
"But you like someone," Grace said knowingly.
"No, not really," Bella fibbed. She wasn't sure why, but she thought it might be best not to give
Grace too much information about Ryder. And besides that, she was still trying to convince
herself that they really *were* only friends.
"I don't like this, Bella," Grace said as she stared down at her pale pink fingernails.
"Too much pink?" Bella asked.
"I'm not talking about nail polish. I'm talking about us," she said, as she looked up with a hurt
expression in her big, brown eyes. "You never used to keep things from me and now . . . well,
now I feel like everything you say is only meant to hide something you don't want me to know
about. I don't like feeling like I can't trust what you say anymore."
Bella looked at her little sister for a moment, then gave a sigh as her eyes fell to stare at her own
hands. "I'm sorry," was all that she could think to say. "I don't want to keep things from you. I just
think . . . well, I think you might be better off not knowing some stuff. You don't want to get
dragged into all my drama, trust me." It seemed funny for her to be saying that to Grace, but
oddly enough it was true.
"You don't have to protect me, you know," Grace said in response. "I know . . . I know
everything."
Bella was a bit surprised by this statement and it took her a moment to reply. Finally she said,
"You . . . you do?"
"Mother told me," she stated simply.
"How on earth does she know?"
"How? Well, I assume because you told her. You needed her help, after all. I know that you guys
haven't always been that close, but I have to tell you, I was glad to hear that you felt like you
could go to her last year when all that stuff was going on."
Okay, obviously they were talking about two different situations. "What exactly did Mother tell
you?" she asked.
"Just what happened. She told me about Sam and . . . well, all of it. I just want you to know Bella;
I'm not ashamed of you. It was a mistake and I'm sure you realize that, but I don't think any less
of you because of it," Grace said in an assuring tone.
What on earth was she talking about? What exactly had she done anyway?
"Mother is afraid that you've been acting strange because you're still upset with her. She thinks
that you're not over the fight, but I told her that I didn't think that was it. I mean, it's been months
now. And you've changed schools and things seem to be much better for you at Rawley. I just
hope you wouldn't hold a grudge with her forever, Bell. You know how much she loves you. She
really does."
"I . . . I think we should talk about something else," Bella told her. She honestly wanted to get to
the bottom of what her sister was talking about but, without much information, she wasn't really
up to a question and answer session about the so-called incident or her relationship with her
mother. She felt it might be best to change the subject until she could find out a little more about
this for herself.
"You aren't mad at me, are you?" Grace asked cautiously. "I didn't start this to upset you. I'm
really just worried about you."
"I know," Bella replied with a nod. "I'm not mad at you, Gracie, I promise."
Grace smiled and returned the nod. "Good, I'm glad."
"Now, we're supposed to be enjoying our day together, right?" Her sister nodded a yes. "Okay
then, let's go get our hair done and grab some lunch, okay?" Grace nodded again and the girls
headed out of the room together.
* * * * *
It was late afternoon when Bella arrived back at Rawley Academy. Grace had to be back on
campus at the school she was attending by six o'clock and since it was nearly a two hour drive
from New Rawley, Bella was dropped off at about 4:30. She waved to her sister as the car pulled
away, then turned to head into the dorms. She had some investigating to do and she wanted to
get started right away.
The click of her new, $150 shoes against the marble floor rang out in the nearly empty halls as
she made her way towards her room. She and Grace had enjoyed the rest of their day together,
having a nice lunch and talking mostly about how school was going for the both of them. Bella
told her sister about all of her classes and her teachers and what she thought of them so far. She
told her about Paige and how great of a friend she had become. She even told her about Jackie,
the roommate from hell. The only details she left out were the ones about the infamous Ryder . . .
and the ones about her being a different person from a parallel universe, of course. Might not be
a good idea to freak her sister out any more than she already had for the day.
When she reached her room and went inside, Bella was relieved to find that Jackie was once
again no where to be found. That was the one good thing about the girl; she had a life. A life that
kept her out of sight and out of mind the majority of the time and Bella could only deem this a very
good thing.
Closing the door behind her, she turned back to the dorm room she'd called home for the last
couple of weeks. She scanned the room carefully, trying to determine the best place to begin her
search. What she was searching for might be hard to locate. It wasn't like it was a lost shoe or a
misplaced homework assignment, after all. It was something that could end up being far more
important and also something that she couldn't exactly give a name to. What she sought in that
still unfamiliar room was information; information about herself.
Ever since that afternoon when Grace was telling her about how their mother had told her some
"secret", Bella had been going crazy trying to think of what it might be. It hadn't sounded very
good from what Grace had said. And, whatever it was, it had caused some sort of rift between
Bella and her mom. It also seemed to be her reasoning for changing schools midway through
high school. It could have been just about anything, but Bella was sure that whatever the secret
was, it would most certainly help her learn a little bit more about the person she was in this world
and how she should act around the people who really knew her.
'If I had a secret, where would someone look for it?' Bella thought to herself. The answer seemed
simple enough. She figured that there must be some kind of journal or diary around there
someplace. Or maybe some notes between her and her old friends. Something, anything to give
her a little insight into what Grace had been talking about.
She began searching. She started in the closet, going through every box, every bag, everything
that could possible hold whatever it was she was trying to find. Finding nothing, she moved on to
the desk, then the dresser, and finally, the large trunk at the foot of the bed. Nothing, absolutely
nothing. After nearly half an hour of going through every spot in that room she had not one thing
to show for her efforts.
As she sank down onto the trunk, her elbows propped on her knees and her chin in her hands,
Bella felt defeated. She had searched in every possible place and still there was nothing. She
was sure that she'd never find out anything about . . .
But then she stopped. Suddenly, sitting there and staring in front of her at her desk, a thought
crossed her mind. There was one more place she had yet to look. She got up and hurried to the
desk, sitting down and immediately turning on the computer. The Banks family had never had a
computer so she had never really thought to look there. But then she remembered how Will used
to store just about everything on his trusty laptop and she realized that any self-respecting rich
girl wouldn't put her deepest, darkest secrets down in black and white for anyone with a bobby
pin to pick the lock and read them. No, she'd choose something more secure, more reliable. Bella
smiled as she felt sure that her answers lay just within this machine.
She had used computers enough at school and here at Rawley for the past week to know her
way around one pretty well. As soon as the system booted up, she began scanning over the
program icons for one that looked like it might hold the information she was looking for. Internet,
Paint Shop, Solitaire, no . . . Notepad, Musicbox, Picture Viewer, no . . . Help, Spreadsheets, No
and no . . . Get Personal, hmm, that one caught her attention. She clicked on the icon and the
program started up. The header that appeared read: "Get Personal! The Electronic Diary." Bingo!
There were several choices on the menu tabs and Bella immediately went to the one that said
"Read Prior Entries". However, when a box came up asking for her password, she stopped.
Password, hmm . . . Bella? No, too easy. Banks? BBanks? Neither of those was it. It had to be
something not too obvious. But what? It could be anything and she could be guessing at this
forever! She really knew nothing about the girl who had created this password, so what were her
chances of knowing it?
'Think, what could it be?' she said to herself. She thought back over the last few days, trying to
think about things she'd encountered while living this Bella's life. But would that even work? She
obviously wasn't very similar to this Bella, otherwise her family wouldn't think that she was acting
so out of character all of the sudden. But then, as she was thinking back over the events of the
past couple of weeks, something occurred to her. While this place was totally different from her
world in so many ways, there had been instances where things had seemed familiar . . . even
parallel. Hamilton liked photography, Paige seemed drawn to Scout, she'd even come across a
motorcycle magazine that had been tucked under Jackie's bed. Maybe, despite their initial
differences to their counterparts, the people in this world weren't so different after all. Maybe she
and this Bella had a little more in common than she realized . . .
'So, what would I use as a password?' she thought. What did people use as passwords? A pet's
name, a favorite place, a nickname . . . she couldn't think of anything. It seemed useless; the
password could be one of a zillion different things and she'd never guess no matter how long she
spent trying.
Then, a thought occurred to her. Maybe there was a way to bypass the password, just in case its
creator forgot it. She began rummaging through the desk drawers again. The desk was already a
mess from her previous hunt so it took even longer this time to find what she was looking for. Not
sure it was even going to help, she removed the thin instruction manual to the electronic diary
from the drawer.
She read the thing from front to back, but was disheartened to find that, even though the
password could be reset, the process would result in all of the previous contents being destroyed.
That wouldn't help her. She flipped the booklet closed with a sigh.
And that's when she saw it.
There, on the back cover of the instruction manual, in a handwriting that was astonishingly
familiar to her own, was a single word. It probably wouldn't have dawned on anyone else that this
might be the password, except that to Bella the word was familiar.
Blondie.
Her father used to jokingly call her that when she was a little girl because she was the only
blonde in the family. It was a long shot, but it just might work. She typed in the letters b-l-o-n-d-i-e
and pressed enter. She waited and waited and then . . .
Jackpot! She was in!
A list of dates appeared on the screen. The earliest date was January 10th of that year. There
seemed to be an entry for nearly every day that followed. Scrolling down to the bottom, Bella
found that the last entry was August 21, 2001 . . . the day before she had woken up in this place.
So, this girl had kept a personal account of her life everyday for over eight months. Reading this
would have to give her some answers about the person whose life she was now leading, right?
Clicking on the first date, she began to read:
"January 10, 2001
I'm not sure why I'm doing it, but today I started writing in this journal. Actually, that isn't true. I
know why I'm doing it; because Grace asked me to. She's worried about me and she thinks that I
need a place to collect my thoughts. She said she saw this program at the computer store while
she was Christmas shopping and she thought it might be a good idea for me. Grace is always
worried about me. Still, she's the only person in the world whose opinion really matters to me so
I'm going to do this for her.
I don't know what to write next. An introduction? It's not like anyone will be reading this but me
and I already know who I am, don't I? Well, maybe not. Maybe that's part of the purpose of writing
it all down, huh?
My name is Bella Marie Banks. My father is Charles, my mother is Donna, my sister is Grace. I
was born in Maine on July 15, 1984. Hmm . . .
Okay, this is silly. I know all this stuff already. Maybe I should start with why Grace is worried
about me in the first place. I think it's because I'm always getting into trouble. I don't know why I
do it; I honestly don't *try* to disappoint my family. But I know that I do. My father is never around
enough to even find out what I've been up to, much less look down on it. But my mother . . . she's
a different story. We've never seen eye to eye on anything for as long as I can remember. I've
even heard her say that I was difficult as a baby. And I'm sure that's only gotten worse with age
as far as she's concerned. I see how she looks at me. I hear the undertone in her voice. Maybe
she loves me because she has to, but I'd bet a million dollars that she honestly does not like me
at all.
Grace says I'm crazy. She says that I take Mother the wrong way; that I never give her a chance.
But I think Grace is wrong on this one. I think she just doesn't want to see what is so plain to me.
I'm the bad seed . . . and I don't think that will ever change.
Maybe that's why I do some of the things I do. I dunno, it's a theory anyway. But it's not a
conscious effort. I don't try to cause trouble just to rub it in her face like she thinks I do. Things
just . . . happen.
Ugh, well I'm late for class so I'll have to pick this back up tomorrow."
The entry ended there; no signature, but there was no doubt as to who the author was. Bella
stared at the words for a moment, still a bit surprised by their meaning. So, here, Bella was the
"bad" kid? And Grace was little miss goodie two shoes. That was beyond bizarre. And it seemed
as though this Bella had no better of a relationship to her mom than she'd ever had with Donna.
Figured . . .
But she'd been right about her closeness to Grace. They seemed to share a very unique
friendship and trust that she never could have imagined sharing with her own little sister. It was
odd, but at the same time gave her hope that maybe she and Grace might be able to see eye to
eye one day in their own world.
She thought about reading the next entry, seeing what else she could find out about this girl, but
with hundreds of entries to peruse it was obvious that this would take more than just one day.
And she was already going to be late meeting Ryder at Friendly's as it was. As much as she
wanted to find out what was going on with the "other" Bella, she also didn't want to stand Ryder
up. After all, he and Paige were the only people here that she considered to be her friends. And if
she ended up being stuck here for a long time she knew that she'd eventually want to confide in
someone about what was going on before it drove her nuts. Seeing Paige and Ryder as the only
possible choices for that eventual confession, she decided it was best to stay on good terms with
them both. That meant keeping her promises . . . and meeting Ryder.
She sighed, a bit disappointed, but also knowing this was the best thing. Besides, the computer
wasn't going anywhere. She could get into this girl's head another time. Turning off the computer,
she grabbed her coat and headed out the door to start into town.
* * * * *
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Category: Bella POV; Alt-Universe
Summary: Bella wakes up one morning to find everything she knows in life has changed
overnight. Now, caught in some sort of strange reality, can she ever find her way back to the way
things used to be . . . and does she really want to go back?
Disclaimer: I own them all and they'll be appearing this fall on *my* network, ok?
Author's Notes: I wanted to write an alternate universe fic for Young Americans where everything
was just a little different than it had been on the show and in trying to come up with something, I
ended up with this. It's not exactly what I had in mind but we'll see how it turns out I guess.
--------------------------------------------
Part 5
Saturday morning usually started early for her. Her dad had always had business out of town on
Saturdays and she and Grace were supposed to take turns watching the station. But, of course
that meant that Bella ended up doing it every Saturday for one reason or another. If there was
one thing she could always count on from Grace, it was an excuse. But this Saturday was
different. There was no station to worry about; no Grace to need her for something she should
have been able to take care of herself . . . there was nothing to keep her from sleep. Nothing, that
is, except her dreams . . .
Dreams weren't something she usually even remembered. Most of the time they just faded away
with the last remnants of sleep as she woke up and began her day. But this dream . . . well, this
wasn't the type of thing you just forgot with a rub of your eyes and a stretch of your arms. This
was . . . something else entirely.
Ryder was kissing her. That was the first thing she became aware of . . . his lips on hers, his hand
in her hair, his arm around her waist as he pulled her closer. He tasted good, sweet. She heard
one of them moan as she felt him deepen the kiss and she honestly wasn't sure if it had been him
or her. It didn't seem to matter at that point.
She'd never felt so aroused in her entire life. Her skin tingled and her blood rushed through her
veins so fast that she could feel her own pulse everywhere. Or maybe she was feeling his pulse.
It didn't matter. The whole world and every part of her being was being engulfed by this
electrifying kiss and she couldn't seem to concentrate on anything else for more than a fleeting
moment.
"Bella . . . ohhhh Bella . . ." he groaned as their lips parted and he began to kiss his way down her
neck. She gasped for air, her chest heaving and her skin flushed. She wanted him to kiss her
again. She never wanted him to stop kissing her and touching her and . . .
"Bella . . . Bella?"
Ryder voice sounded different all of the sudden. His accent was gone. And he sounded a lot like .
. .
"Bella, wake up already," the voice said again. Bella finally pulled herself from the dream and
forced her eyes opened to see the real owner of the voice standing over her bed.
"Grace," she said with recognition as her eyes focused on her little sister's face. Grace. Wait, if
Grace was here then was she . . . was she back? Bella sat up and looked quickly around the
room. Nope, still in the dorm room. She was still stuck in wherever she was, so . . . "Grace, what
are you doing here?" she asked.
"What? Bella, it's Saturday, remember?" Grace said as if that should explain everything away.
"Yeah, and?"
"The second Saturday of the month," Grace clarified, still sounding like her sister should know
what she was getting at without her having to actually say it.
"I'm gonna need more information," Bella told her.
"Man, you really are acting weird," Grace said. "I mean, Margaret told me that you'd seemed a
little out of sorts last week but I didn't realize . . ."
"You talked to Margaret?" Bella asked. She hadn't called back to the number she had listed for
her parents since that first day when she'd talked to the strange woman who was apparently
some sort of housekeeper-slash-nanny to the Banks family.
Grace nodded and said, "She spoke to mother, too."
"Mother?" Bella repeated quizzically. Since when did her little sister call anyone "mother"?
"Yes, and she's very worried about you. I told her that I was sure you'd be okay and that I'd let her
know how you seemed after I saw you today, but now I'm beginning to wonder if Margaret and
Mother aren't right to worry."
"We go somewhere every second Saturday together?" Bella asked as she slowly tried to piece
together what Grace was saying. She needed to figure this out and try to seem like what Grace
would deem as normal before the girl tried to have her hospitalized or lobotomized or some such
thing.
"For the last five years, yes," Grace confirmed.
"And today we're going . . .?" Bella trailed off.
"To the spa . . . isn't that what we planned?" Grace asked.
"And we're getting there how?"
"Joseph, of course. He's outside with the car waiting for us."
"Of course," Bella replied, sounding more than a little confused.
"It's only an hour's drive, not too far. Besides, this was your idea. You know how I hate those mud
masks they give you at that place. They smell funny."
"Well, we don't have to go if you don't want," Bella offered as she finally stood up from the bed
and walked over to the mirror. She noticed that the other bed was empty and didn't look as
though it had been slept in so apparently Jake had broken curfew for the third time that week.
"No, we've already planned this so it's fine. But we need to get a move on if we're going to make
our appointment. You know how much I hate missing appointments. It's tacky," Grace said
disdainfully.
Did those words just come out of the mouth of Grace Banks? Bella actually turned to look at her
sister for a moment. She still *looked* the same, but this was definitely not the same girl.
"What?" Grace asked at her sister's sudden scrutiny.
"Nothing . . . It's just, uh, how's school going?" she asked, trying to change the subject as she
went about getting dressed so they could get on with whatever plan it was they'd apparently
made.
"It's okay. Although I'm beginning to wish I'd gone to an all-girls school again like last year," she
said with a sigh.
Bella turned to look at Grace again. "Excuse me?"
"Well, it's just that the boys do seem to be a distraction. You know, they're always flirting and
whatnot." She shrugged. "I guess I'm just not used to it. Not that I don't like boys, I think I just like
them better away from school. It's easier to concentrate that way."
Bella just nodded and picked up her hairbrush, not answering for fear that she might have to ask
this girl when pod-people had taken over her hormonally overactive little sister. It was better just
to keep quiet, she was sure.
Grace kept telling her about her teachers and her subjects as Bella finished getting dressed.
From the way the younger girl talked to her, Bella had the feeling that the two had a much closer
relationship here than she had ever had with the Grace she knew. It was sort of nice, being so
close to her sister for a change. She listened intently to Grace as she chose a sweater from her
closet and quickly changed into it.
"So, Bella, can I ask you a question?" the petite brunette asked as she sat on the edge of the bed
across from her sister who was sitting in the desk chair as she bent to put on her socks.
"Yeah, sure, Grace," Bella responded.
"Um . . . who is . . . um, Ryder?" she stammered out uncertainly.
Bella's eyes shot up quickly. "How do you know Ryder?" she asked.
"I don't," Grace said. "It's just . . . when I came in to wake you up . . . well, you said his name.
Were you, um . . . dreaming about him?" she asked. The girl seemed to be a little embarrassed
by the thought of her sister dreaming about a boy, which was probably stranger than Grace
asking about him.
"He's just . . . Ryder's a friend of mine. He lives in town. We met at the grocery store last week.
And . . . well, I guess that maybe I might have been dreaming something involving him. I mean,
maybe I was dreaming about a conversation we had or something. I really don't even remember,"
she lied.
Grace nodded, but Bella knew that the girl didn't believe her. It was strange, but she could tell
that they had a connection and that Grace could tell when she wasn't being up front with her. She
actually seemed hurt by the fact that Bella would choose not to tell her the truth. Still, she wasn't
sure how else to explain things. Everything she said about pretty much anything was going to end
up being less than true so it wouldn't matter in the end.
"We'd better get going," Bella said as she finished putting on her shoes and stood up. Grace
nodded and stood as well. As Bella grabbed her purse, her sister opened the door and walked
out ahead of her. She turned to follow, but paused for a moment as she walked by her dresser.
The family photo, the one she had been so shocked by on that first morning, caught her eye as
she passed. She studied it for a moment, realizing that the four faces in the picture looked
happier than she ever remembered her own family looking. It suddenly occurred to her that she
actually had a pretty good life here. Maybe it was time she started enjoying it while it lasted.
"Hey Bell, you coming?" Grace asked from the doorway.
Bella looked up quickly and nodded. "Right behind you, Gracie," she said as she followed her out
the door. Though she wasn't sure why she'd all of the sudden called her sister by a nickname that
she couldn't remember using since they were little girls, it felt right. It felt familiar; like somewhere
along the line she and Grace really had been this close. It was just that they'd grown up and
somehow lost that bond. Apparently the Bella and Grace in this world had found a way to keep it.
Bella might be able to learn a thing or two from her little sister after all.
* * * * *
"So, then you don't have a boyfriend?" Bella asked as she and Grace sat side by side in their
chairs in the salon. They'd already had facials, massages, manicures and pedicures. They were
now waiting on their nails and toes to dry so that they could go to the next room to get their hair
cut.
"You know that I don't," Grace replied matter-of-factly.
Bella shrugged. "Well, I wasn't sure. I mean, you don't tell me *everything* . . . do you?"
"I'd tell you that, trust me," Grace said.
"Okay, good to know."
"So . . . what about you?" the younger girl asked.
"What about me?" Bella asked in return.
"Do you? Have a boyfriend, I mean."
"Oh . . . no, not currently," she said.
"But you like someone," Grace said knowingly.
"No, not really," Bella fibbed. She wasn't sure why, but she thought it might be best not to give
Grace too much information about Ryder. And besides that, she was still trying to convince
herself that they really *were* only friends.
"I don't like this, Bella," Grace said as she stared down at her pale pink fingernails.
"Too much pink?" Bella asked.
"I'm not talking about nail polish. I'm talking about us," she said, as she looked up with a hurt
expression in her big, brown eyes. "You never used to keep things from me and now . . . well,
now I feel like everything you say is only meant to hide something you don't want me to know
about. I don't like feeling like I can't trust what you say anymore."
Bella looked at her little sister for a moment, then gave a sigh as her eyes fell to stare at her own
hands. "I'm sorry," was all that she could think to say. "I don't want to keep things from you. I just
think . . . well, I think you might be better off not knowing some stuff. You don't want to get
dragged into all my drama, trust me." It seemed funny for her to be saying that to Grace, but
oddly enough it was true.
"You don't have to protect me, you know," Grace said in response. "I know . . . I know
everything."
Bella was a bit surprised by this statement and it took her a moment to reply. Finally she said,
"You . . . you do?"
"Mother told me," she stated simply.
"How on earth does she know?"
"How? Well, I assume because you told her. You needed her help, after all. I know that you guys
haven't always been that close, but I have to tell you, I was glad to hear that you felt like you
could go to her last year when all that stuff was going on."
Okay, obviously they were talking about two different situations. "What exactly did Mother tell
you?" she asked.
"Just what happened. She told me about Sam and . . . well, all of it. I just want you to know Bella;
I'm not ashamed of you. It was a mistake and I'm sure you realize that, but I don't think any less
of you because of it," Grace said in an assuring tone.
What on earth was she talking about? What exactly had she done anyway?
"Mother is afraid that you've been acting strange because you're still upset with her. She thinks
that you're not over the fight, but I told her that I didn't think that was it. I mean, it's been months
now. And you've changed schools and things seem to be much better for you at Rawley. I just
hope you wouldn't hold a grudge with her forever, Bell. You know how much she loves you. She
really does."
"I . . . I think we should talk about something else," Bella told her. She honestly wanted to get to
the bottom of what her sister was talking about but, without much information, she wasn't really
up to a question and answer session about the so-called incident or her relationship with her
mother. She felt it might be best to change the subject until she could find out a little more about
this for herself.
"You aren't mad at me, are you?" Grace asked cautiously. "I didn't start this to upset you. I'm
really just worried about you."
"I know," Bella replied with a nod. "I'm not mad at you, Gracie, I promise."
Grace smiled and returned the nod. "Good, I'm glad."
"Now, we're supposed to be enjoying our day together, right?" Her sister nodded a yes. "Okay
then, let's go get our hair done and grab some lunch, okay?" Grace nodded again and the girls
headed out of the room together.
* * * * *
It was late afternoon when Bella arrived back at Rawley Academy. Grace had to be back on
campus at the school she was attending by six o'clock and since it was nearly a two hour drive
from New Rawley, Bella was dropped off at about 4:30. She waved to her sister as the car pulled
away, then turned to head into the dorms. She had some investigating to do and she wanted to
get started right away.
The click of her new, $150 shoes against the marble floor rang out in the nearly empty halls as
she made her way towards her room. She and Grace had enjoyed the rest of their day together,
having a nice lunch and talking mostly about how school was going for the both of them. Bella
told her sister about all of her classes and her teachers and what she thought of them so far. She
told her about Paige and how great of a friend she had become. She even told her about Jackie,
the roommate from hell. The only details she left out were the ones about the infamous Ryder . . .
and the ones about her being a different person from a parallel universe, of course. Might not be
a good idea to freak her sister out any more than she already had for the day.
When she reached her room and went inside, Bella was relieved to find that Jackie was once
again no where to be found. That was the one good thing about the girl; she had a life. A life that
kept her out of sight and out of mind the majority of the time and Bella could only deem this a very
good thing.
Closing the door behind her, she turned back to the dorm room she'd called home for the last
couple of weeks. She scanned the room carefully, trying to determine the best place to begin her
search. What she was searching for might be hard to locate. It wasn't like it was a lost shoe or a
misplaced homework assignment, after all. It was something that could end up being far more
important and also something that she couldn't exactly give a name to. What she sought in that
still unfamiliar room was information; information about herself.
Ever since that afternoon when Grace was telling her about how their mother had told her some
"secret", Bella had been going crazy trying to think of what it might be. It hadn't sounded very
good from what Grace had said. And, whatever it was, it had caused some sort of rift between
Bella and her mom. It also seemed to be her reasoning for changing schools midway through
high school. It could have been just about anything, but Bella was sure that whatever the secret
was, it would most certainly help her learn a little bit more about the person she was in this world
and how she should act around the people who really knew her.
'If I had a secret, where would someone look for it?' Bella thought to herself. The answer seemed
simple enough. She figured that there must be some kind of journal or diary around there
someplace. Or maybe some notes between her and her old friends. Something, anything to give
her a little insight into what Grace had been talking about.
She began searching. She started in the closet, going through every box, every bag, everything
that could possible hold whatever it was she was trying to find. Finding nothing, she moved on to
the desk, then the dresser, and finally, the large trunk at the foot of the bed. Nothing, absolutely
nothing. After nearly half an hour of going through every spot in that room she had not one thing
to show for her efforts.
As she sank down onto the trunk, her elbows propped on her knees and her chin in her hands,
Bella felt defeated. She had searched in every possible place and still there was nothing. She
was sure that she'd never find out anything about . . .
But then she stopped. Suddenly, sitting there and staring in front of her at her desk, a thought
crossed her mind. There was one more place she had yet to look. She got up and hurried to the
desk, sitting down and immediately turning on the computer. The Banks family had never had a
computer so she had never really thought to look there. But then she remembered how Will used
to store just about everything on his trusty laptop and she realized that any self-respecting rich
girl wouldn't put her deepest, darkest secrets down in black and white for anyone with a bobby
pin to pick the lock and read them. No, she'd choose something more secure, more reliable. Bella
smiled as she felt sure that her answers lay just within this machine.
She had used computers enough at school and here at Rawley for the past week to know her
way around one pretty well. As soon as the system booted up, she began scanning over the
program icons for one that looked like it might hold the information she was looking for. Internet,
Paint Shop, Solitaire, no . . . Notepad, Musicbox, Picture Viewer, no . . . Help, Spreadsheets, No
and no . . . Get Personal, hmm, that one caught her attention. She clicked on the icon and the
program started up. The header that appeared read: "Get Personal! The Electronic Diary." Bingo!
There were several choices on the menu tabs and Bella immediately went to the one that said
"Read Prior Entries". However, when a box came up asking for her password, she stopped.
Password, hmm . . . Bella? No, too easy. Banks? BBanks? Neither of those was it. It had to be
something not too obvious. But what? It could be anything and she could be guessing at this
forever! She really knew nothing about the girl who had created this password, so what were her
chances of knowing it?
'Think, what could it be?' she said to herself. She thought back over the last few days, trying to
think about things she'd encountered while living this Bella's life. But would that even work? She
obviously wasn't very similar to this Bella, otherwise her family wouldn't think that she was acting
so out of character all of the sudden. But then, as she was thinking back over the events of the
past couple of weeks, something occurred to her. While this place was totally different from her
world in so many ways, there had been instances where things had seemed familiar . . . even
parallel. Hamilton liked photography, Paige seemed drawn to Scout, she'd even come across a
motorcycle magazine that had been tucked under Jackie's bed. Maybe, despite their initial
differences to their counterparts, the people in this world weren't so different after all. Maybe she
and this Bella had a little more in common than she realized . . .
'So, what would I use as a password?' she thought. What did people use as passwords? A pet's
name, a favorite place, a nickname . . . she couldn't think of anything. It seemed useless; the
password could be one of a zillion different things and she'd never guess no matter how long she
spent trying.
Then, a thought occurred to her. Maybe there was a way to bypass the password, just in case its
creator forgot it. She began rummaging through the desk drawers again. The desk was already a
mess from her previous hunt so it took even longer this time to find what she was looking for. Not
sure it was even going to help, she removed the thin instruction manual to the electronic diary
from the drawer.
She read the thing from front to back, but was disheartened to find that, even though the
password could be reset, the process would result in all of the previous contents being destroyed.
That wouldn't help her. She flipped the booklet closed with a sigh.
And that's when she saw it.
There, on the back cover of the instruction manual, in a handwriting that was astonishingly
familiar to her own, was a single word. It probably wouldn't have dawned on anyone else that this
might be the password, except that to Bella the word was familiar.
Blondie.
Her father used to jokingly call her that when she was a little girl because she was the only
blonde in the family. It was a long shot, but it just might work. She typed in the letters b-l-o-n-d-i-e
and pressed enter. She waited and waited and then . . .
Jackpot! She was in!
A list of dates appeared on the screen. The earliest date was January 10th of that year. There
seemed to be an entry for nearly every day that followed. Scrolling down to the bottom, Bella
found that the last entry was August 21, 2001 . . . the day before she had woken up in this place.
So, this girl had kept a personal account of her life everyday for over eight months. Reading this
would have to give her some answers about the person whose life she was now leading, right?
Clicking on the first date, she began to read:
"January 10, 2001
I'm not sure why I'm doing it, but today I started writing in this journal. Actually, that isn't true. I
know why I'm doing it; because Grace asked me to. She's worried about me and she thinks that I
need a place to collect my thoughts. She said she saw this program at the computer store while
she was Christmas shopping and she thought it might be a good idea for me. Grace is always
worried about me. Still, she's the only person in the world whose opinion really matters to me so
I'm going to do this for her.
I don't know what to write next. An introduction? It's not like anyone will be reading this but me
and I already know who I am, don't I? Well, maybe not. Maybe that's part of the purpose of writing
it all down, huh?
My name is Bella Marie Banks. My father is Charles, my mother is Donna, my sister is Grace. I
was born in Maine on July 15, 1984. Hmm . . .
Okay, this is silly. I know all this stuff already. Maybe I should start with why Grace is worried
about me in the first place. I think it's because I'm always getting into trouble. I don't know why I
do it; I honestly don't *try* to disappoint my family. But I know that I do. My father is never around
enough to even find out what I've been up to, much less look down on it. But my mother . . . she's
a different story. We've never seen eye to eye on anything for as long as I can remember. I've
even heard her say that I was difficult as a baby. And I'm sure that's only gotten worse with age
as far as she's concerned. I see how she looks at me. I hear the undertone in her voice. Maybe
she loves me because she has to, but I'd bet a million dollars that she honestly does not like me
at all.
Grace says I'm crazy. She says that I take Mother the wrong way; that I never give her a chance.
But I think Grace is wrong on this one. I think she just doesn't want to see what is so plain to me.
I'm the bad seed . . . and I don't think that will ever change.
Maybe that's why I do some of the things I do. I dunno, it's a theory anyway. But it's not a
conscious effort. I don't try to cause trouble just to rub it in her face like she thinks I do. Things
just . . . happen.
Ugh, well I'm late for class so I'll have to pick this back up tomorrow."
The entry ended there; no signature, but there was no doubt as to who the author was. Bella
stared at the words for a moment, still a bit surprised by their meaning. So, here, Bella was the
"bad" kid? And Grace was little miss goodie two shoes. That was beyond bizarre. And it seemed
as though this Bella had no better of a relationship to her mom than she'd ever had with Donna.
Figured . . .
But she'd been right about her closeness to Grace. They seemed to share a very unique
friendship and trust that she never could have imagined sharing with her own little sister. It was
odd, but at the same time gave her hope that maybe she and Grace might be able to see eye to
eye one day in their own world.
She thought about reading the next entry, seeing what else she could find out about this girl, but
with hundreds of entries to peruse it was obvious that this would take more than just one day.
And she was already going to be late meeting Ryder at Friendly's as it was. As much as she
wanted to find out what was going on with the "other" Bella, she also didn't want to stand Ryder
up. After all, he and Paige were the only people here that she considered to be her friends. And if
she ended up being stuck here for a long time she knew that she'd eventually want to confide in
someone about what was going on before it drove her nuts. Seeing Paige and Ryder as the only
possible choices for that eventual confession, she decided it was best to stay on good terms with
them both. That meant keeping her promises . . . and meeting Ryder.
She sighed, a bit disappointed, but also knowing this was the best thing. Besides, the computer
wasn't going anywhere. She could get into this girl's head another time. Turning off the computer,
she grabbed her coat and headed out the door to start into town.
* * * * *