Title: Anytime
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: R
Category: Jake/Hamilton; future-fic
Spoilers: A few little ones for the season finale that I've heard about so far. Mostly Bella/Scout stuff.
Summary: A letter from an old friend makes Jacqueline Pratt think about the past . . . and yearn for what she's lost.
Author's Notes: The lyrics belong to Brian McKnight. My roommate downloaded the song to my computer and the more I listened to it, the more a story started to tell itself in my head.
Thanks: Brian McKnight for the lovely, sad lyrics; Candice for downloading unwanted things to my computer (haha), and my wondrous beta readers for services rendered. Oh, and the gals at the Hamilton_Jake list for all the fanfic that inspires the hell out of me! ;-)
Feedback: Please!!! I'm pretty sure where I'm going with this but it would still be helpful to get some opinions. And, of course, if it sucks too badly then you should all let me know so I can stop torturing you, lol.
----------------------------------
Part 2
Still have your picture in a frame
Hear your footsteps down the hall
I swear I hear your voice driving me insane
How I wish that you would call to say
Do I ever cross your mind . . . anytime?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Do I ever cross your mind . . . anytime?
I miss you . . .
Hamilton Fleming opened his mailbox and removed the week's worth of mail that had accumulated since he'd last been home. His job kept him busy and he traveled during the week most times so by Friday night he always had a stack of mail to go through.
He entered the house that he rented about three blocks off Melrose. He'd been here for a year and he was getting ready to move again. He'd been like that for years, moving from place to place, trying to find somewhere that felt right. It never seemed to work. No matter where he went, something was always missing.
The cream-colored envelope caught his eye as he thumbed through the stack of bills and junk mail in his hands. 'Mr. Hamilton Fleming,' the address said. The return stamp read Hartford and he knew who it was from. He'd spoken to Scout a few weeks before and had promised that he'd be in attendance at his old friend's wedding.
A smile crossed Hamilton's face as he pulled a newspaper clipping from inside the invitation. It was the engagement announcement from the Hartford Gazette. Scout and Bella were pictured beneath the small article, both smiling happily and holding one another. They looked like the perfect couple.
He laid the article on the coffee table and slumped down into his worn, leather sofa. Thinking about Bella and Scout made him think back to his high school days. They'd all had some good times together. He remembered the double dates they'd go on. They'd drive three towns over just so that Jake could go as a girl and not be found out. But that hour and a half in Bella's dad's rusty old pickup truck had always been worth it . . . just so that he could hold her hand as they walked down the street or kiss her during the romantic parts of the movie or share an ice cream cone in the park after dinner. Those were his very best memories of high school . . . maybe of his whole life in general. Nothing had really felt as good since then.
Hamilton sighed deeply, his memories of Jake bringing on a melancholy that had never seemed to leave him for very long in the more than ten years since he'd seen her last. She had been the love of his life, the one he wanted to be with forever . . . and then she'd left him . . . and his whole world fell apart.
He wondered if she was coming to the wedding. He knew that she still spoke to Bella from time to time, though Bella and Scout both tried not to mention her name too often. They knew that it still upset him. They knew that there was still a faded old photograph of the two of them in his wallet and that he would still stare at it sometimes and just wonder what he had done to drive her away. He'd never gotten over her . . . his first love . . . his soulmate.
Now, after more than a decade, he had the prospect of a reunion in front of him. All he could do now was wait.
* * * * *
**Flashback**
Ten Years Earlier
"Hey Jake, you in here?" he called as he knocked again on the door to her room. Still no answer.
He knew that she was home; he'd seen her come in while he was in the lobby talking to Patrick from his English class. But he hadn't wanted to be too obvious in ditching everyone for Jake. They had to be careful about how things looked to everyone.
It'd been over two years since she'd first started at Rawley Boys . . . longer than she had ever expected to keep up the charade. But, after meeting Hamilton, fooling her mother was no longer her main objective. She just wanted to stay there with all the new friends she'd made, she wanted to keep her place on the crew team, she wanted to keep having Finn for English Lit . . . and she wanted to be with the boy she loved. That was all that mattered to her anymore.
Bella, Scout and Will knew her secret, too, by then. They'd all been sworn to secrecy and, as long as everyone was careful, they were all sure that the truth would not come out.
But, lately, things had been weird. Something was wrong with Jake . . . and Hamilton was really worried about her. She hadn't been herself for weeks. Bella seemed to be in on whatever was going on, always shutting up right when he walked up or giving him sympathetic looks when she thought he wasn't watching. It was starting to make him paranoid. And now Jake was obviously ignoring him and he was starting to get scared. Just what was it that was going on with her . . . and why didn't she want him to be a part of it?
"Jake?" he called again, this time trying the door. Locked. Even though he had promised her he would always respect her privacy, he found himself reaching in his pocket for the copy of the school's master key that he had lifted from his dad's office. He wouldn't have done it if he weren't really concerned about her . . . he just needed to know that she was okay.
He heard the click of the lock as it opened and he turned the doorknob and slowly enters his girlfriend's room. "Jake . . . are you alright?" he asked quietly as he came in. He surveyed the room and at first saw no sign of her. Then, he looked closely in the dark corner of the room where dusk was already causing the shadows to deepen . . . and that's when he saw her.
She was sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest and her head resting on her knees. There was no longer any doubt in Hamilton's mind that something terrible had happened . . . and he had to know what.
He rushed over to her and crouched in the floor next to her. "Sweetie, what is it?" he asked as he pulled the helpless looking girl into his arms. He immediately realized that she was crying and his concern grew. "Jake? Please . . . talk to me . . ." he pleaded as he stroked her hair and held her close. But she didn't say anything. She just cried. And he just held her until she fell asleep that night.
**End Flashback**
* * * * *
"I can't believe I let her talk me into this," Jake muttered as she surveyed the flight schedule from New York to Boston. No cancellations or delays, she noted with obvious distaste. There was nothing to blame it on if she turned back and went home. She knew that there was no way to get out of this wedding fiasco . . . or of seeing him again after all these years.
"Damn you, Bella," she mumbled and picked up her suitcase to head towards her gate. They were already boarding when she arrived so she got in line behind about twenty other people. The line moved quicker than she would have liked and, soon enough, she was sitting in her seat on the plane . . . looking out the window and praying for a tornado.
* * * * *
**Flashback**
Ten Years Earlier
"You need to tell him, Jake," Bella said definitively to her distraught friend as they sat in Bella's bedroom one sunny afternoon in early spring.
"How can I do that, Bell? I can't do that," she told her woefully. "I . . . God, what do I do?" Jake was on the verge of tears again and Bella could already tell. She'd seen Jake break down more times in the last two weeks than she had in all the previous two years that she had known the girl. The whole situation was starting to really worry Bella.
"I'm sorry this is happening to you, J, I really am," she told her friend as she sat next to her on the bed and touched her shoulder in comfort.
"I love him so much, Bell . . . how am I ever going to walk away from him?"
**End Flashback**
* * * * *
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: R
Category: Jake/Hamilton; future-fic
Spoilers: A few little ones for the season finale that I've heard about so far. Mostly Bella/Scout stuff.
Summary: A letter from an old friend makes Jacqueline Pratt think about the past . . . and yearn for what she's lost.
Author's Notes: The lyrics belong to Brian McKnight. My roommate downloaded the song to my computer and the more I listened to it, the more a story started to tell itself in my head.
Thanks: Brian McKnight for the lovely, sad lyrics; Candice for downloading unwanted things to my computer (haha), and my wondrous beta readers for services rendered. Oh, and the gals at the Hamilton_Jake list for all the fanfic that inspires the hell out of me! ;-)
Feedback: Please!!! I'm pretty sure where I'm going with this but it would still be helpful to get some opinions. And, of course, if it sucks too badly then you should all let me know so I can stop torturing you, lol.
----------------------------------
Part 2
Still have your picture in a frame
Hear your footsteps down the hall
I swear I hear your voice driving me insane
How I wish that you would call to say
Do I ever cross your mind . . . anytime?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Do I ever cross your mind . . . anytime?
I miss you . . .
Hamilton Fleming opened his mailbox and removed the week's worth of mail that had accumulated since he'd last been home. His job kept him busy and he traveled during the week most times so by Friday night he always had a stack of mail to go through.
He entered the house that he rented about three blocks off Melrose. He'd been here for a year and he was getting ready to move again. He'd been like that for years, moving from place to place, trying to find somewhere that felt right. It never seemed to work. No matter where he went, something was always missing.
The cream-colored envelope caught his eye as he thumbed through the stack of bills and junk mail in his hands. 'Mr. Hamilton Fleming,' the address said. The return stamp read Hartford and he knew who it was from. He'd spoken to Scout a few weeks before and had promised that he'd be in attendance at his old friend's wedding.
A smile crossed Hamilton's face as he pulled a newspaper clipping from inside the invitation. It was the engagement announcement from the Hartford Gazette. Scout and Bella were pictured beneath the small article, both smiling happily and holding one another. They looked like the perfect couple.
He laid the article on the coffee table and slumped down into his worn, leather sofa. Thinking about Bella and Scout made him think back to his high school days. They'd all had some good times together. He remembered the double dates they'd go on. They'd drive three towns over just so that Jake could go as a girl and not be found out. But that hour and a half in Bella's dad's rusty old pickup truck had always been worth it . . . just so that he could hold her hand as they walked down the street or kiss her during the romantic parts of the movie or share an ice cream cone in the park after dinner. Those were his very best memories of high school . . . maybe of his whole life in general. Nothing had really felt as good since then.
Hamilton sighed deeply, his memories of Jake bringing on a melancholy that had never seemed to leave him for very long in the more than ten years since he'd seen her last. She had been the love of his life, the one he wanted to be with forever . . . and then she'd left him . . . and his whole world fell apart.
He wondered if she was coming to the wedding. He knew that she still spoke to Bella from time to time, though Bella and Scout both tried not to mention her name too often. They knew that it still upset him. They knew that there was still a faded old photograph of the two of them in his wallet and that he would still stare at it sometimes and just wonder what he had done to drive her away. He'd never gotten over her . . . his first love . . . his soulmate.
Now, after more than a decade, he had the prospect of a reunion in front of him. All he could do now was wait.
* * * * *
**Flashback**
Ten Years Earlier
"Hey Jake, you in here?" he called as he knocked again on the door to her room. Still no answer.
He knew that she was home; he'd seen her come in while he was in the lobby talking to Patrick from his English class. But he hadn't wanted to be too obvious in ditching everyone for Jake. They had to be careful about how things looked to everyone.
It'd been over two years since she'd first started at Rawley Boys . . . longer than she had ever expected to keep up the charade. But, after meeting Hamilton, fooling her mother was no longer her main objective. She just wanted to stay there with all the new friends she'd made, she wanted to keep her place on the crew team, she wanted to keep having Finn for English Lit . . . and she wanted to be with the boy she loved. That was all that mattered to her anymore.
Bella, Scout and Will knew her secret, too, by then. They'd all been sworn to secrecy and, as long as everyone was careful, they were all sure that the truth would not come out.
But, lately, things had been weird. Something was wrong with Jake . . . and Hamilton was really worried about her. She hadn't been herself for weeks. Bella seemed to be in on whatever was going on, always shutting up right when he walked up or giving him sympathetic looks when she thought he wasn't watching. It was starting to make him paranoid. And now Jake was obviously ignoring him and he was starting to get scared. Just what was it that was going on with her . . . and why didn't she want him to be a part of it?
"Jake?" he called again, this time trying the door. Locked. Even though he had promised her he would always respect her privacy, he found himself reaching in his pocket for the copy of the school's master key that he had lifted from his dad's office. He wouldn't have done it if he weren't really concerned about her . . . he just needed to know that she was okay.
He heard the click of the lock as it opened and he turned the doorknob and slowly enters his girlfriend's room. "Jake . . . are you alright?" he asked quietly as he came in. He surveyed the room and at first saw no sign of her. Then, he looked closely in the dark corner of the room where dusk was already causing the shadows to deepen . . . and that's when he saw her.
She was sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest and her head resting on her knees. There was no longer any doubt in Hamilton's mind that something terrible had happened . . . and he had to know what.
He rushed over to her and crouched in the floor next to her. "Sweetie, what is it?" he asked as he pulled the helpless looking girl into his arms. He immediately realized that she was crying and his concern grew. "Jake? Please . . . talk to me . . ." he pleaded as he stroked her hair and held her close. But she didn't say anything. She just cried. And he just held her until she fell asleep that night.
**End Flashback**
* * * * *
"I can't believe I let her talk me into this," Jake muttered as she surveyed the flight schedule from New York to Boston. No cancellations or delays, she noted with obvious distaste. There was nothing to blame it on if she turned back and went home. She knew that there was no way to get out of this wedding fiasco . . . or of seeing him again after all these years.
"Damn you, Bella," she mumbled and picked up her suitcase to head towards her gate. They were already boarding when she arrived so she got in line behind about twenty other people. The line moved quicker than she would have liked and, soon enough, she was sitting in her seat on the plane . . . looking out the window and praying for a tornado.
* * * * *
**Flashback**
Ten Years Earlier
"You need to tell him, Jake," Bella said definitively to her distraught friend as they sat in Bella's bedroom one sunny afternoon in early spring.
"How can I do that, Bell? I can't do that," she told her woefully. "I . . . God, what do I do?" Jake was on the verge of tears again and Bella could already tell. She'd seen Jake break down more times in the last two weeks than she had in all the previous two years that she had known the girl. The whole situation was starting to really worry Bella.
"I'm sorry this is happening to you, J, I really am," she told her friend as she sat next to her on the bed and touched her shoulder in comfort.
"I love him so much, Bell . . . how am I ever going to walk away from him?"
**End Flashback**
* * * * *