Hmmm... Websters High School Dictionary, page 654. 'Parody. Noun. 1. A literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is losely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. 2 A feeble or ridiculous imitation.' Interesting, isn't it? I dunno if I've done a good job at making the exact definition of a parody or not, but I've accomplished my own little definition of a parody. Anyways, I suppose I should now write the second chapter. So here 'tis....
(Okay, gotta quickly review the second chapter of far from perfect... Right then. So that is what shall happen next. On with the fic!)
One Week Later...
(This part is supposed to be in the first chapter... Oh well. Better delayed that not at all.) Heero looked into Relenas eyes. "Heero? What was it you wanted to ask me?" I read the script of Far From Perfect, and he's going to ask me to marry him! Oh, I'm such an airbrained ditz that I actually think Heero might possibly be interested in me when I really don't stand a chance against Duo! Heero opened his mouth to speak. "Well... I... Just wanted to ask you if...." Heero got down on his knees. He's going to propose! "Relena, will you please... Will you please talk to Duo and see if you can get him to forgive me?" Relenas shoulders sagged. "Stupid bastard..." "What?" "Oh, nothing... Sure, I'll talk to Duo for you."
(Sorry, I just can't stop talking... And I can't get that damn song out of my head either... *So goodbye yellow brick road, Where the dogs of society howl. You can't plant me in your penthouse, I'm going back to my plough...* Sorry... Aaaaaanyways... The point of this interlude is to make sure you know something about the title of this thing. Prefect. One of the definitions of prefect is a school hall monitor type person. That's the definition I'm using, because of the hall in the first chapter. Now back to the fic....)
Duo stared blankly at the author. "I can't... Remember... My line! What part of that do you not understand?!" "No abla espanol?" The author asked in return. "Argh, what the hell is wrong with you?!?" "Nothing. Just wanted to annoy you a little. Your next line is 'I am absolutely, totally, completely, 100% in love with the author of this fic.'" Duo peered at the author suspiciously. "Are you SURE?" The author nodded his head. "Okay, well, if you're sure... Ahem. I am absolutely, totally, completely, 100% in love with the author of this fic.' Hey... That wasn't my line! I remember it now! It's 'It sure looks like it's gonna rain today.'" Duo grabbed the script from the author and hit him on the head with it. "Hmmm... Let's see what happens next!" Duo opened up the script, but the pages were completely blank. "Hey, where's the script?" "There isn't one. You think I actually think about what I'm going to write before I do so? That only happened once, and that was in 'Standing Outside The Fire.'"
Relena approached Duos house and knocked on the door. "Yeeeeees, who is it?" Duo asked form within. "It is I, Juliet!" Duo opened the door. "What the hell are you talking about, woman? You've been reading the wrong script. Or you would have been if there was a right script... Er, come on in." Relena entered Duos house. "So, whaddya want?" Relena winked at Duo. "You know what I want. I want YOU." "HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLPPP!!!" Duo screamed, and the brave, courageous, super0intelligent, really really cute author came to the rescue and knocked Relena out with the script. But doing that caused a time/space distortion, and Duo suddenly found himself in the hallway full of doors once again. "Huh? A door labelled 'Cledus T. Judd?'" Then the woman from last weeks voice rang out. "Don't open that door!"
Duo heard her voice and decided that the door must be the exit since she didn't want him to open it. Duo threw open the door and ran inside the room. "Huh? Where am I?" Duo saw that he was in a used car lot. "What's a used car lot doing here?" Then an immensely obese woman waddled by. "Um, excuse me, but do you know where this is? OH NO, PLEASE DON'T SIT ON ME!!!" Duo cowered in fear as the woman turned around. "I ain't gonna hurt you, honey. And you're in Florida, in Jalopy's used car lot." Then she disappeared. "Jalopy's used car lot? In Florida... And that was told to me by a vanishing fat lady..." Duo saw the door he had come through floating in the air. He pulled on the doorknob and ran through the doorway. "I told you not to go in there... Hey, I've got an idea. Why not go through here?" The woman from the previous week stood in front of Duo, pointing at a door labelled 'Jo Dee Messina.'
Duo gave her a quick, suspicious look and then went through the door. "I want you to burn!" A voice called out from somewhere in the room. "I don't want to!" Duo opened the door and ran back through. "Don't like that door? Try this one!" The woman pointed to a door labelled 'Saturn.' "Saturn, huh? Your friendly Saturn dealer can assist you with many things... What the hell, I'll go." Duo pushed open the door and stepped inside, immediately regretting it. He was in the middle of a vast desert with odd shaped rocks all around. Then Duo felt something moving in the sand beneath him, and he jumped away from where he was. As soon as he had cleared his previous position, a huge black and white striped snake of some sort jumped up from the sand. "Sand worms, ya hate 'em, right? Hey, I hate 'em myself!" A man wearing a similarly striped suit shouted out from about twenty yards away. "Yeah, sure, whatever. I'm getting the hell out of here!" Duo replied and ran back through the door. "Are you TRYING to kill me, or is it something that just coincidentally happens every time I step through a door you point to?"
"Well, one of them has to be the exit, right? So shouldn't you go through all the doors you can?" "Shouldn't you know what door is the exit?" Duo queried. "Nope. I never use any of them, so I don't know which leads where." Duo began walking down the hallway, looking for a door that said something harmless. "'Cute fluffy bunny rabbits?' That can't possibly be bad." Duo opened the door and walked inside, and when the door closed behind him, the dust covering the words 'from mars' fell off. "Hmmm... So where are the rabbits?" Then a large, mutated, viscious bunny rabbit with huge, sharp fangs jumped in front of Duo and roared. (Yes, it roared. Anyone have a problem with that?) Duo once again ran through the door into the corridor of doors.
"I need to get out of heeeeeeere!" Duo sat down in front of the door he had just come from and began to silently cry. Then one of the other doors in the hall opened up, and Heero stumbled out. "That fat lady running around disappearing and yelling 'Shop at Jalopy's used car lot' was way too much for me... !! Duo!" Heero ran to Duo and saw that he was crying. "Hey, why are you crying?" Duo stood and wiped the tears from his eyes. "'Cause that last room was scary. There was a huge, evil, bloodthirsty bunny, and it almost killed me..." Heero put his arm around Duo, but Duo pushed him away. Heero looked at Duo with a hurt expression on his face, and Duo almost gave in. Almost.
"I'm sorry Heero, but I can't forgive you for what you did." Then the woman appeared once again and hit Duo repeatedly. The author appeared next to her and hit Duo several times with the thick, empty script (The script reminds me of Relenas head. They're both thick and empty.) "OW! What are you doing that for?" "Because you're being stupid!" The author yelled at Duo. "You're passing up a perfectly good looking guy that also happens to love you, and is also fairly intelligent, though not as smart as I. But that isn't the point. The point is you're giving up on him because of some stupid little thing. That's not a good thing. It's bad. And don't forget, I'm mentally unstable. If you don't do as I say and marry Heero within the next 24 hours, I will have no choice but to kill you. Which reminds me, I'm quite angry at Nataku's Child for the ending of the second chapter of 'Far From Perfect.' 'And me? Well I got over the fact that life isn't perfect. Heero and I might get hitched some day, you never know. But I love him, and he loves me. I'm happy and for the first time in my life I feel full. I'm not saying we'll live happily ever after. There's some bad things in life too. But what I'm saying is that everything in between feels like magic. And now I live my life, for the fairy tale in between.' I wonder if I could get in trouble for putting that much of the original in my fic... robably not if I give credit. Though it is quite possible I still could... Anyways, that was from the original fic, 'Far From Perfect.' It was written by Nataku's Child. Fool... Didn't even bother to write the big wedding scene. And for some odd reason, that last line sticks in my head, and it annoys me greatly."
"But my parody of it shall end much better. I will write in the big wedding scene, and there'll be lots of... Lot's of cake. Yup. Cake is good. And I'll write in something extra, making a sequel possible... Hehehe. I'm a genius. Dammit! I said all that out loud! Oh well." Then the author led Heero and Duo to the exit. As soon as they were out, the author did a little editing, and... Poof. Heero and Duo were in tuxes, their closest friends (And Relena, too) appeared, and then the whole wedding thingy began. (So far I'm not doin' that great of a job on the wedding scene, am I? Onwards!) Er... Ah, whatever. Heero and DUo stepped up to the altar, some guy said a bunch of stuff and asked them questions, Heero said 'I do,' Duo said 'I do,' everyone cried, and the author ran around screaming "I finally did it! Out of the 30+ chapters for the 10+ fics I've written, Heero and Duo have finally gotten married! I actually did it! Now I've got to write chapters in which they get married for all the other fics. I dunno why. I guess I just really really like the thought of those two married. This is a bit too much to be running around screaming, isn't it? Ah, well, I have great vocal chords. I guess..."
The author ran to the cake and began eating. "Hey, you aren't supposed to eat the cake yet!" Quuatre frantically yelled. "I spent all day baking that, and you eat it in two minutes?!" Quatres lower lip began to quiver, and Trowa had to conosole him. "Hey, sorry. I'm hungry. And I like cake. And I'm quite glad that I accomplished that. And... Heeeeey... You two should get married!"
To be continued...
In the famous words of Anjel... Um. And in the famous words of theguywhohasaname... Icky icky icky ptooing zowie! And in the famous words of Heero... That was irrelevant to the closing chapter of this fic. And in the famous words of Quatre... Trooooooooooowaaaaaaaa! Duo was picking on me again! And... Well, I guess that's about all I can really think of. I'm too tired to continue writing. So this shall be the end of this chapter. This fic, however, will be continued. That's the only problem I have. I can never seem to be able to end a fic. It just gets longer and longer and longer... Okay. I should probably exit now. But first I would like to make something absolutely clear. I am NOT an inflatable lesbian elephant. Okay then, now I shall end this chapter... (Please read and review my other fics too!) So. Goodbye for now, people!
(Okay, gotta quickly review the second chapter of far from perfect... Right then. So that is what shall happen next. On with the fic!)
One Week Later...
(This part is supposed to be in the first chapter... Oh well. Better delayed that not at all.) Heero looked into Relenas eyes. "Heero? What was it you wanted to ask me?" I read the script of Far From Perfect, and he's going to ask me to marry him! Oh, I'm such an airbrained ditz that I actually think Heero might possibly be interested in me when I really don't stand a chance against Duo! Heero opened his mouth to speak. "Well... I... Just wanted to ask you if...." Heero got down on his knees. He's going to propose! "Relena, will you please... Will you please talk to Duo and see if you can get him to forgive me?" Relenas shoulders sagged. "Stupid bastard..." "What?" "Oh, nothing... Sure, I'll talk to Duo for you."
(Sorry, I just can't stop talking... And I can't get that damn song out of my head either... *So goodbye yellow brick road, Where the dogs of society howl. You can't plant me in your penthouse, I'm going back to my plough...* Sorry... Aaaaaanyways... The point of this interlude is to make sure you know something about the title of this thing. Prefect. One of the definitions of prefect is a school hall monitor type person. That's the definition I'm using, because of the hall in the first chapter. Now back to the fic....)
Duo stared blankly at the author. "I can't... Remember... My line! What part of that do you not understand?!" "No abla espanol?" The author asked in return. "Argh, what the hell is wrong with you?!?" "Nothing. Just wanted to annoy you a little. Your next line is 'I am absolutely, totally, completely, 100% in love with the author of this fic.'" Duo peered at the author suspiciously. "Are you SURE?" The author nodded his head. "Okay, well, if you're sure... Ahem. I am absolutely, totally, completely, 100% in love with the author of this fic.' Hey... That wasn't my line! I remember it now! It's 'It sure looks like it's gonna rain today.'" Duo grabbed the script from the author and hit him on the head with it. "Hmmm... Let's see what happens next!" Duo opened up the script, but the pages were completely blank. "Hey, where's the script?" "There isn't one. You think I actually think about what I'm going to write before I do so? That only happened once, and that was in 'Standing Outside The Fire.'"
Relena approached Duos house and knocked on the door. "Yeeeeees, who is it?" Duo asked form within. "It is I, Juliet!" Duo opened the door. "What the hell are you talking about, woman? You've been reading the wrong script. Or you would have been if there was a right script... Er, come on in." Relena entered Duos house. "So, whaddya want?" Relena winked at Duo. "You know what I want. I want YOU." "HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLPPP!!!" Duo screamed, and the brave, courageous, super0intelligent, really really cute author came to the rescue and knocked Relena out with the script. But doing that caused a time/space distortion, and Duo suddenly found himself in the hallway full of doors once again. "Huh? A door labelled 'Cledus T. Judd?'" Then the woman from last weeks voice rang out. "Don't open that door!"
Duo heard her voice and decided that the door must be the exit since she didn't want him to open it. Duo threw open the door and ran inside the room. "Huh? Where am I?" Duo saw that he was in a used car lot. "What's a used car lot doing here?" Then an immensely obese woman waddled by. "Um, excuse me, but do you know where this is? OH NO, PLEASE DON'T SIT ON ME!!!" Duo cowered in fear as the woman turned around. "I ain't gonna hurt you, honey. And you're in Florida, in Jalopy's used car lot." Then she disappeared. "Jalopy's used car lot? In Florida... And that was told to me by a vanishing fat lady..." Duo saw the door he had come through floating in the air. He pulled on the doorknob and ran through the doorway. "I told you not to go in there... Hey, I've got an idea. Why not go through here?" The woman from the previous week stood in front of Duo, pointing at a door labelled 'Jo Dee Messina.'
Duo gave her a quick, suspicious look and then went through the door. "I want you to burn!" A voice called out from somewhere in the room. "I don't want to!" Duo opened the door and ran back through. "Don't like that door? Try this one!" The woman pointed to a door labelled 'Saturn.' "Saturn, huh? Your friendly Saturn dealer can assist you with many things... What the hell, I'll go." Duo pushed open the door and stepped inside, immediately regretting it. He was in the middle of a vast desert with odd shaped rocks all around. Then Duo felt something moving in the sand beneath him, and he jumped away from where he was. As soon as he had cleared his previous position, a huge black and white striped snake of some sort jumped up from the sand. "Sand worms, ya hate 'em, right? Hey, I hate 'em myself!" A man wearing a similarly striped suit shouted out from about twenty yards away. "Yeah, sure, whatever. I'm getting the hell out of here!" Duo replied and ran back through the door. "Are you TRYING to kill me, or is it something that just coincidentally happens every time I step through a door you point to?"
"Well, one of them has to be the exit, right? So shouldn't you go through all the doors you can?" "Shouldn't you know what door is the exit?" Duo queried. "Nope. I never use any of them, so I don't know which leads where." Duo began walking down the hallway, looking for a door that said something harmless. "'Cute fluffy bunny rabbits?' That can't possibly be bad." Duo opened the door and walked inside, and when the door closed behind him, the dust covering the words 'from mars' fell off. "Hmmm... So where are the rabbits?" Then a large, mutated, viscious bunny rabbit with huge, sharp fangs jumped in front of Duo and roared. (Yes, it roared. Anyone have a problem with that?) Duo once again ran through the door into the corridor of doors.
"I need to get out of heeeeeeere!" Duo sat down in front of the door he had just come from and began to silently cry. Then one of the other doors in the hall opened up, and Heero stumbled out. "That fat lady running around disappearing and yelling 'Shop at Jalopy's used car lot' was way too much for me... !! Duo!" Heero ran to Duo and saw that he was crying. "Hey, why are you crying?" Duo stood and wiped the tears from his eyes. "'Cause that last room was scary. There was a huge, evil, bloodthirsty bunny, and it almost killed me..." Heero put his arm around Duo, but Duo pushed him away. Heero looked at Duo with a hurt expression on his face, and Duo almost gave in. Almost.
"I'm sorry Heero, but I can't forgive you for what you did." Then the woman appeared once again and hit Duo repeatedly. The author appeared next to her and hit Duo several times with the thick, empty script (The script reminds me of Relenas head. They're both thick and empty.) "OW! What are you doing that for?" "Because you're being stupid!" The author yelled at Duo. "You're passing up a perfectly good looking guy that also happens to love you, and is also fairly intelligent, though not as smart as I. But that isn't the point. The point is you're giving up on him because of some stupid little thing. That's not a good thing. It's bad. And don't forget, I'm mentally unstable. If you don't do as I say and marry Heero within the next 24 hours, I will have no choice but to kill you. Which reminds me, I'm quite angry at Nataku's Child for the ending of the second chapter of 'Far From Perfect.' 'And me? Well I got over the fact that life isn't perfect. Heero and I might get hitched some day, you never know. But I love him, and he loves me. I'm happy and for the first time in my life I feel full. I'm not saying we'll live happily ever after. There's some bad things in life too. But what I'm saying is that everything in between feels like magic. And now I live my life, for the fairy tale in between.' I wonder if I could get in trouble for putting that much of the original in my fic... robably not if I give credit. Though it is quite possible I still could... Anyways, that was from the original fic, 'Far From Perfect.' It was written by Nataku's Child. Fool... Didn't even bother to write the big wedding scene. And for some odd reason, that last line sticks in my head, and it annoys me greatly."
"But my parody of it shall end much better. I will write in the big wedding scene, and there'll be lots of... Lot's of cake. Yup. Cake is good. And I'll write in something extra, making a sequel possible... Hehehe. I'm a genius. Dammit! I said all that out loud! Oh well." Then the author led Heero and Duo to the exit. As soon as they were out, the author did a little editing, and... Poof. Heero and Duo were in tuxes, their closest friends (And Relena, too) appeared, and then the whole wedding thingy began. (So far I'm not doin' that great of a job on the wedding scene, am I? Onwards!) Er... Ah, whatever. Heero and DUo stepped up to the altar, some guy said a bunch of stuff and asked them questions, Heero said 'I do,' Duo said 'I do,' everyone cried, and the author ran around screaming "I finally did it! Out of the 30+ chapters for the 10+ fics I've written, Heero and Duo have finally gotten married! I actually did it! Now I've got to write chapters in which they get married for all the other fics. I dunno why. I guess I just really really like the thought of those two married. This is a bit too much to be running around screaming, isn't it? Ah, well, I have great vocal chords. I guess..."
The author ran to the cake and began eating. "Hey, you aren't supposed to eat the cake yet!" Quuatre frantically yelled. "I spent all day baking that, and you eat it in two minutes?!" Quatres lower lip began to quiver, and Trowa had to conosole him. "Hey, sorry. I'm hungry. And I like cake. And I'm quite glad that I accomplished that. And... Heeeeey... You two should get married!"
To be continued...
In the famous words of Anjel... Um. And in the famous words of theguywhohasaname... Icky icky icky ptooing zowie! And in the famous words of Heero... That was irrelevant to the closing chapter of this fic. And in the famous words of Quatre... Trooooooooooowaaaaaaaa! Duo was picking on me again! And... Well, I guess that's about all I can really think of. I'm too tired to continue writing. So this shall be the end of this chapter. This fic, however, will be continued. That's the only problem I have. I can never seem to be able to end a fic. It just gets longer and longer and longer... Okay. I should probably exit now. But first I would like to make something absolutely clear. I am NOT an inflatable lesbian elephant. Okay then, now I shall end this chapter... (Please read and review my other fics too!) So. Goodbye for now, people!