Originally, this was a two-parter. Now, it's going to be a four-parter. (Sorry. This isn't the last part. ^_^)
I'm very, very, sorry for the lack of continuity in this fic. See, originally this fic was set before season 2 started, because when this fic was begun, I hadn't *seen* the second season. Now, I have, and I really really wanted to include the 02 digidestined, 'cause Cody's adorable and he's not in enough fics as it is. So, voila, the new kids are here, yea or boo, and continuity is messed up 'cause I had in the first part Kari and Sora talk about how their digimon were, um, not there, and what are these new digidestined kids doing? They should be saving the world, but instead they're, um, about to have very, very, complicated social lives. But who cares? Oh, and the digimon are all at...um...a spa. In the digital world. Run by Gomamon and Palmon. (Gomamon finds the jacuzzis, Palmon gives massages. ^_^)
On a serious note, I do not mean to bash any characters. Bashing romances, yes, that's fine, but there's rather a lot of Tai bashing, Matt bashing, Sora bashing, Izzy bashing, Mimi bashing (if she was in here, anyway), Joe bashing, Davis bashing, Yolei bashing, June bashing, T.K. bashing, Kari bashing, and there was some Cody bashing but I edited it out because I couldn't bear to be mean to the poor guy. ::hugs:: However, all of this bashing is in FUN, I don't mean to insult anyone, nor anyone of any age/gender/race/religion etc.
The following romance fans WILL be mad at me for this fic. If you are listed under one of more of these romance groups, and you still flame me for ignoring/mocking/mispronouncing your favorite romance(s)...I pity you. This is FFN, people. It's practically impossible to NOT find a romance in ANY section. If you really, really, really want a romance so badly, go search for some horrible jumbling of the names in the little 'search' box up there under 'summary,' and I'm sure you'll find something more to your taste. I repeat, if you are a fan of any of the fallowing romances, you'll be mad at me.
Taito. Taiora. Taishirou. Taimi. Tou. Taikeru.
Taikari. (I'm gonna be sick now.) Taisuke.
Taiyako. Taiori.
Yamachi. Yamara. Yamashirou. Yami. Yamou. Yakeru. (Ewwww.)Yakari.
Yasuke. Yayako. (That's fun to say.) Yaori.
Sorachi. Sorato. Sorashirou. Sorami. (Didja know
that salami's made out of intestines?) Sou.
(What?) Sokeru. Sokari. Sosuke. Soyako. Sori.
Kouchi. (Kouchi Kouchi Kou!) Koumato. Koura.
Koumi. Kyou. Koukeru. Koukari. Kousuke. Kouyako. Kori.
Michi. Mimato. Mira. Mishirou. Mimou. Mikeru. Mikari. Misuke.
Miyako. (...hey...) Miori.
Jyouchi. Jyouto. (The 'Jyouto' League, where Ash
finally catches a Gomachu!) Jyoura. Jyoushirou. Jyoumi.
Jyousuke. Jyouyako. Jyouri.
Tachi. Tamato. (Eww! I'm never eating tomatoes
again.) Tara. Tashirou. Tami. Taou. Takari. Tasuke.
Tayako. Takori.
Hichi. (You pervs.) Himato. Hira.
Hishirou. Himi. Hiou. Hikeru. Hisuke. Hiyako. Hiori.
Daichi. Daimato. Daira. Daishirou. Daimi. Daiou. Daikeru.
Daikari. (He *wishes*.) Daiyako. Daiori.
Michi. (...) Mimato. (...) Mira.
(...) Mishirou. (...) Mimi.
(...what the...) Mimou. (...) Mikeru. (...)
Mikari. (...) Misuke. (...) Miori.
(We'll never know, for any of these, whether it's about Mimi or
Miyako...stupid 'mi'!)
Iochi. Iomato. Iora. Ioshirou. Iomi. Ioou. Iokeru.
Iokari. Iosuke. Ioyako. (Can anyone pronounce *any* of
these?)
There *is* romance in here, of course. It's just that these are the ones that are ignored/mocked. Oh, and Ken is not in this fic.
::maniac grin:: But JUNE is!
I don't own anything. Except for my own characters, which show up here and there but they aren't really interesting and heck, I'd give 'em away if I could. I do own a fluffy Mokona!...but that has nothing to do with anything, 'cept 'Niichan's nice. ^_^
Tara-chan, I'm stealing your lyrics to the Hedgehog Song and a quote fo yours, just 'cause they fit so well. ^_-
"Oh...
you can do it a sheep if you lead it astray,
or with a chicken, just part of the way
With a lion if you have that much pride
or with an elephant, if you're rather wide.
You can with a grizzly if you give him a hug
or with a bullfrog if you give him a bug
with a giraffe you can stand on a chair,
But the hedgehog'll never be
buggered at all..."
FRIENDS, FOES, AND
ROMANCE; OH MY!
TAAAAAAKE THREE!
by Rb
"KYAAAAAA!" Joe screamed.
"Well, that was a nice greeting," noted Touya with
amusement. "Way to make the girl feel welcome."
"I...I...I..." Joe stuttered. If there was anyone more
different from the pink-haired girl he'd been expecting, he'd
have been hard-pressed to name anyone.
She was short, at least a foot and a half shorter than Joe. She
had spiky neon-green hair that stuck out awkwardly around her
face and ears. Her face might have been all right, but it was
almost entirely hidden by a huge pair of very thick glasses with
red plastic frames, hiding a pair of purple eyes, a color
contrast with her hair that even Sora would have noticed. Her
nosepiece was held together with a piece of duct tape.
Her clothing choice was at a direct contrast to his neat and pressed prestigious junior high school uniform. While he wore a neat blue jacket over his crisp white shirt and had ironed his tan slacks especially for this occasion, the girl wore a baggy faded orange sweatshirt with a goose on the front, and a skirt that came just above her knees of bright orange and brown horizontal stripes. She wore knee-high socks of a lime green that just missed the vibrancy of her hair. Her shoes were velcro My Little Pony sneakers. She had very knobbly knees.
For some reason, being confronted with this vision of 'fashion don'ts' made Joe's knees buckle. He felt like screaming loudly with words a private school student like himself ought not to know. Instead, he said bravely, "Hi, my name is Joe Kido."
The girl laughed. It was a high-pitched, annoying giggle that made Joe think longingly of fingernails scratching on blackboards. "I'm Gachou Bukiyou! Hi, Joeykins!" Her voice wasn't unpleasant in itself, a bit raspy, but not too shrill. It was the voice, with the laugh, and the looks, and the name...
Joe's eyebrow twitched. Her name means...an awkward goose?! He chanced a glance at Touya. He and his date, whom he had been earlier informed was named Kirei Aino (figures, Joe thought), were quickly degenerating into something that could be considered foreplay.
Gachou glanced at her cousin (how, how, HOW were Kirei and Gachou related?!) and, apparently getting ideas, slid a finger down... the buttons of Joe's shirt, luckily not opening anything. In a voice that might have been considered seductive in a person less...Gachou-ish, she shrilled, "you know, Joeykins, where I come from, private school uniforms are considered sooo hot...Joeykins? Joeykins?! What are you crying?"
---
Izzy walked down the street to the tennis courts. No, walking was not a good word for what Izzy was going. Strutting might be a better word. Some might use swaggering. A few might even use 'sashaying'...but that has an interesting connotation we won't touch here.
The passers-by were gawking at the arrogant walk of Izzy's. And, to be fair, pretty much gawking at Izzy, too. Some of the passers-by were gaping at him, and more than a few were ogling him, but for the most part, people were gawking at the boy.
Why were they doing so?
...you'll have to read on and find out, now won't you? ^_-
---
It had taken Joe all of his patience, good will, and gentlemanly manners to refrain from simply leaving Gachou where she stood and running away, possibly to Mimi's house in America. With my luck, I'd end up at the Bukiyou residence.
It cost him his dignity to split off from Touya and Kirei (it was better not to give Gachou ideas). He was pretty much alone with Gachou.
Alone. With Gachou.
Well, of course, there were the passers-by, but they weren't really watching him.
Except for this one guy. He was tall, maybe six foot, with longer than average black hair. Otherwise, he strongly reminded Joe of himself when he was only twelve. He walked up to Joe. Joe, who thought he might be a fellow Star Trek fan, said nothing, until the guy was right in front of him, where Joe realized how tall the boy was.
"You're a digidestined, aren't you?" he asked.
Joe raised an eyebrow and nodded.
"May I have your autograph?" the boy asked in a tone of awe, thrusting a pad of paper in front of Joe's face.
"Um...kid --"
"Anthony. Call me Anthony! I would be honored to be called Anthony by such as you!"
"Ah...Anthony...I don't have a pencil or anything," Joe said sheepishly.
"I have some!" Gachou shrilled. She pointed proudly to a pocket protector Joe had somehow missed before. Gachou handed it to Joe. Joe obligingly opened it up. His eyebrow twitched as he took in the fact that each of the pencils were engraved with...
...not only her name but her ADDRESS?!
Joe smiled a smile he didn't mean and signed 'To Anthony. Joe Kido' with the kind of flourishes and illegibility that you can only achieve by being either some sort of medical student or being someone with loads of practice signing your name. (Joe was both.) He then handed the pad back to Anthony and started striding down the street.
With a cry of "waaaaaaaait!" Gachou ran up to Joe and grabbed his arm. Joe, not seeing where he was going, tripped. Luckily, he managed to catch himself before he fell very far, but he dropped the pocket protector. Gachou's pencils flew everywhere. A few innocent passers-by stepped on them.
"WAAAAAAAH!" Gachou cried. "My pencils!" She scrambled about picking them up. When she found one that had snapped cleanly in two (right between 'Gachou' and 'Bukiyou,') she started wailing.
Right on Joe's nice, clean, navy blue jacket.
"Uhh...there, there?" Joe suggested awkwardly, wandering if her tears would stain.
"That won't do, Joeykins, don't you know about girls?" Gachou sniveled. "I need a kiss to make it better!"
Joe froze in utter shock.
"WELL?!" she thundered.
---
Matt and T.K. walked down the street. Well, Matt walked. T.K. looked as if he'd rather burrow into the ground.
The passers-by stared. The passers-by should have brought video-cameras. That would have cut down on the staring. Some of the passers'-by normally stoic faces looked unusually worried and strained.
"Why's everyone looking at us funny?" T.K. asked nervously.
"They're staring at you, little bro. They think you're a menace to society," Matt said, flashing a toothy grin. T.K. seemed to sink down lower.
Thw two brothers looked up as they saw someone across the street start yelling, "why'd I tell him my name's Anthony?! My name's NOT Anthony! My name's--!" The boy dissolved into tears.
Several passers-by started screaming about the humanity of it all. The brothers looked at each other (Matt keeping a straight face with effort) and walked on.
---
After several minutes of babbling, Joe managed to talk himself out of giving Gachou a get-better kiss (instead fixing her pencil with a piece of scotch tape) and suggested, "you know, I have this friend, she's in a tennis match today, let's go see it..."
"She?" asked Gachou archly.
"Ah, yeah, Sora Takenouchi, she's a very close friend of mine."
"Really?" Gachou asked, looking disappointed. "Is she prettier than I am?"
Joe sweatdropped, realizing what direction this conversation was heading. However...if it got Gachou of of his back...
Wait, this might involve (gasp, horror, shriek!) telling a lie! Telling a lie and getting Gachou away from him and Sora possibly mad at him, or telling the truth and have Gachou continue her limpet-like grasp on his arm...
"Yes!" he practically shrieked. "Sora's very, very, pretty! She has, um, red hair like, er, red hair, and eyes that are like big brown circles with black dots in the center, and she's, um, got a pretty good figure."
If Sora ever hears what I just said, I'm dead...but, after all, she does have a good figure...
"Oh." Gachou seemed disappointed. She removed her grasp from Joe's body. Joe gave a discreet sigh of relief and pleasure as blood flowed back into certain parts of his anatomy. "So, are you two, um, together? 'Cause I'm sorry if I glomped on you inappropriately. You're just so glompable."
"It's an easy mistake to make," Joe allowed benignly. Yesyesyesyesyes!
---
Sora shielded her eyes in the noon glare of the sun. Were her friends at the court yet? Yes, there was Matt and T.K....was that T.K.? He looked...different. Maybe it was the glare of the sun.
She really, really, really hoped it was the glare of the sun.
And there were Tai and Kari. Tai was certainly unmistakeable, with that hair. He waved wildly when he saw her looking in his direction. Sora grimaced a bit and averted her gaze.
Yolei and Cody were walking towards Tai and Kari, somewhat more sedately. Davis and his sister, June, were skipping towards Matt and T.K.... no, actually, it looked more like June was making a beeline for Matt and Davis was clinging onto June's arm, begging her to stay back. Sora easily hid a smile.
Oh? Was that Joe? Who was the girl with him, then? She wore a very...well, loud outfit. And, oh my, was that Izzy?
Far from having to refrain from keeping a smile, Sora had to stuff her knuckles into her mouth to keep from laughing loud.
"Sora, what's wrong?" asked one of the other members of the tennis team.
"Nothing...nothing, Mia."
"Strange group of people out there, huh?" Mia asked, indicating the rapidly narrowing space where Sora's friends had gathered.
Sora nodded. "The weirdest."
---
"Hey, Sorasorasorasorasoraa!" Tai yelled, waving his arms wildly. Kari quickly chose a seat a few rows away from her brother.
"Hi, Kari!" a familiar voice rang out. Kari blinked.
"Yolei! And Cody! What are you doing here?" Kari asked, motioning them to sit besides her.
"Sora asked us to come...she said something about Tai being a one man cheering squad on his own, but she'd rather more people come to sort of space him out," Yolei explained. Cody nodded agreement.
Kari hid a smile. Sort of. Attempted. It was a jolly good try, anyway.
"Do I see T.K. and Davis?" Yolei asked, frowning as she said Davis's name. It was the sort of frown you have when you say "Mom, there's a rotting piece of flesh on the freeway, and I think you just ran over it, and now the car'll smell really bad, so you have to burn the tire."
"I hope not," Kari frowned.
"Well, Davis has no excuse not to be on the other side of an unmarked grave," said Cody, "but what's wrong with T.K.? I thought you two were best friends!"
Kari shifted uneasily. "It's kind of hard to explain..."
---
June Motomiya was a Very Determined Woman. When she wanted money for that super-cute sweater, she Very Determinedly begged her father until he gave her the cash. When she wanted to watch her TV show, she Very Determinedly kicked Davis until he would give up. When she wanted a man like Matt Ishida...she Very Determinedly chased after him until he was hers.
Well...would be hers.
Soon. Very, very, soon. She could feel it.
She just had to inform Matt of this fact.
"June, slow down!" Davis gritted through his teeth.
"What's wrong, dear little brother?" asked June sweetly.
"Normal people do not RACE through the bleachers and try to trip their dear little brothers who are barely hanging on," Davis spat.
June blinked innocent eyes. "But it's to see Maaatt!" she said in a perfectly reasonable, if whiny, tone.
"June, you're my sister. So please believe me when I say, with the utmost brotherly love and respect, that IF YOU FOLLOW MATT AROUND FOR MUCH LONGER HE'LL CALL THE POLICE AND SLAP A RESTRAINING ORDER ON YOU!"
June just giggled. "You're so weird, little brother." She continued to hurry off to see her Matt.
Muttering under his breath, Davis followed.
He supposed it wasn't a bad thing to have June as an older sister. He could be stuck with someone like (gag, shudder) Yolei. As far as big sisters went...well, he didn't know many kids who had older sisters, but he guessed June was all right, if a bit bossy.
Really bossy.
And embarrassing...
Why, out of all of the guys in the world, does she have to like T.A.'s brother? Davis thought furiously. Like it's not enough that that twerp doesn't realize Kari's my girl, my sister can't get enough of that Matt kid! Like we have to fluff up those brothers' egos any more! Why can't June go for someone with a cute little sister my age, instead of a jerk like T.M.!
Davis gave a mighty sigh that basically summed up the suffering of all younger siblings and started walking faster to catch up to his sister.
And stopped in his tracks.
Completely ignoring the rather disgusting sight of his sister glomping on the eyebrow twitchin' Matt, Davis stared at his 'romantic rival.' The other boy had gotten a brand-new look.
His shaggy blonde hair had been slicked down with massive amounts of hair gel, so that it resembled a tupperware bowl (or maybe that brat Cody.) The cheerful long sleeved t-shirt/shorts combo that the blue-eyed boy had always favored had been replaced by a dark yellow shirt with "stud" apparently hand-written in black letters, an incredibly huge, obviously borrowed, black leather jacket, and -- Davis couldn't believe his eyes -- leather pants. Black leather pants. Tight black leather pants.
Davis was just impressed that the other boy could even sit down.
"T.K.?" Davis asked in a wavering tone. It was a mark of his agitation that Davis had gotten the other's name right.
"Yeah?" responded the other boy, in a distressed tone. Maybe the pants are cutting off his circulation. I wouldn't doubt it.
"What did you do to yourself?!"
---
Yolei knew cute guys.
If Yolei knew one thing, she knew cute guys.
Cute guys were her best subject.
She knew different kinds of cute guys. There were the pretty boys who were almost beautiful, like Matt and Ken (even if he's the Digimon Emperor and beats poor defenseless digimon until they can't move from the pain, he's still damn hot!). There were the nice, studious, polite boys that were cute with sort of boyish charms, like Izzy and Joe and Cody (when he grows a bit more.) There were the hot foreign guys like Michael and Willis, how cool could they get? There were the jock guys, like Tai and T.K. and even Davis, when he wasn't being a jerk.
But this guy topped them all.
He was kind of short, which was okay, because she liked shorter guys. (And taller guys. And guys the same height.) He was wearing a perfectly-fitting (this is the cool part!) tuxedo. To a tennis match. Does this guy know how to dress or what? On his head was a black top hat. Covering most of his face was a mask, obscuring his true facial figures.
He swaggered down to where Yolei was sitting and handed her a perfect purple rose. Yolei swooned.
"Oh my GAWD, you are the most AWESOME guy in the WORLD! You are so incredibly gorgeous, I cannot believe my EYES! Cody, look at him!" she squealed. "Isn't he so...so...COOL?!"
Cody, used to his friend's hysterics, nonchalantly pinched her arm.
The pain didn't stop Yolei from clasping the handsome stranger's arm. "Please tell me, what's your name?" she gushed
The handsome and mysterious stranger glanced at her from behind the pineapple yellow mask. "My name is - " a violin played in the backround - "Tuxedo Koushirou."
---
Matt strolled along the bleachers, glanced around in a paranoid fashion, and ducked behind Tai.
"Hi, Tai," said the blonde boy. "Care to hide me with your hair for just a few minutes longer?"
Tai didn't pay attention. All of his (few) brain cells were focused on one thing -- a little red-haired girl, in a really short skirt.
"So, Tai, what was with that phone call this morning?"
Tai still didn't respond.
"Hey, Tai, I've taken your wallet out of your back pocket and I'm removing about fifty dollars, that all right?"
Nothing.
"Sora looks good out there, doesn't she?"
"She's MINE," Tai snapped, turning around fiercely.
"I wasn't trying to claim --" Matt started.
"I've known her longer than you have! I've loved her for too long! BACK OFF, ISHIDA!"
"SHUT UP, KAMIYA!" Matt yelled back. Several people were starting to stare, and Matt winced. All I need is June trying to glomp on me again...my poor, poor, wallet...
"Listen, Tai," Matt sighed. "I'm not trying to take Sora from you. In fact, you can have Sora, and I can have the rest of the girls in the world. But there is one major problem with your possession of Sora..."
"Which is?" asked Tai, having turned back towards the court.
"Have you even asked her out yet?"
Tai swiveled around so fast his hair gave him whiplash. "Of course not!"
"Then how can you have a claim on her?" Matt asked silkily.
Tai opened his mouth, then closed it, appearing to think (quite possibly for the first time ever.) Matt, seeing that Tai's mass of hair was no longer enough to hide him from the Glomps of June, started to saunter off into another direction.
Tai sat.
---
Cody sighed.
Yolei had left her seat, clutching desperately onto 'Tuxedo Koushirou,' a strange boy who bore a rather strong resemblence to their friend and mentor Izzy. Cody supposed he should have tried to stop her, in case it turned out that Tuxedo Koushirou was an evil plan of the Digimon Emperor's to weaken the digidestined, but Yolei was a big girl, capable of handling herself, and anyway she'd probably beat him up if he interrupted one of her dates.
Cody sighed again. He was a sighing kind of person. There was a lot you could do with a good sigh. He had perfected the art of sighing. He had different sighs for many different occasions, including "oh, great, Davis is doing something idiotic again," "oh, no, Yolei's mooning over yet another guy," and the all-time favorite, "I can't believe you people are so stupid!"
Cody was vaguely aware that on the other side of Yolei's vacated space, Kari was trying to look anywhere but at her brother Tai, who was staring intently at the tennis courts. Cody was surprised that fire wasn't shooting from his eyes to the nets.
He supposed he should be glad he wasn't like the older kids and being driven mad by hormones.
There were some times when the desire to age and grow mature were severely blunted. When the people you saw on a daily basis were like Davis and Yolei, hormone-driven freaks of nature, those times happened quite frequently.
Still, Cody wondered what it was like to date..
---
Cherry blossom petals drifted across the scene, as Yolei and her mysterious suitor walked through a lush green park. It was beautiful.
Yolei sighed dreamily. "Tuxedo Koushirou, how did you learn how to be so cool?"
A flash of white teeth. "Well, there was this time at computer camp where I stuck a floppy disk up my..."
"You're kidding! Me too!"
Ahh, geek love...
---
Then again, Cody considered, being sane wasn't exactly a drawback.
He was aware, in a theoretical way, that there was an argument going on besides him. He was also aware that he should be trying to stop everyone from fighting.
But frankly, he couldn't be buggered.
---
"Uhh..." T.K. cleared his throat. "Hi, Kari."
The brown-haired girl's head snapped around and she stood up. "T.K?!" She stared at the boy for a few moments. "What the...what happened to you?"
"Yeah, I get that a lot," T.K. said dryly. "So, uh, do you like it?" He crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping, hoping, hoping...
"I'm not speaking to you," said Kari haughtily. She jutted out her chin and proceeded to violate her vow. "So there."
"Why, Kari?" asked a confused T.K.
"You know why, you evil, evil, being!" snapped Kari. "I'd never, ever, date you!"
"Hey, what can I say, the girl has taste!" said Davis, grinning.
"Huh?" T.K. whimpered, looking and sounding like a kicked puppy. "What's wrong, Kari? Don't you love me anymore?" He tried to manfully suppress his tears...but then again, T.K.'s not exactly a man.
"But you lied to me!"
"When?" asked a very confused T.K. Davis listened eagerly, always happy to listen to gossip about T.K.
"You...you...you have the HANSON CD!" Both Davis's and the silently listening Cody's eyes widened, as they'd never anticipated such a horrible, horrible thing.
T.K. bit his lip. "It was only once, Kari, and I was young and stupid..."
"I don't care! You've betrayed my trust! I can never see you again!"
T.K. burst into tears.
Davis smirked. "Well, Kari, now that your Friday nights are free, how about having a REAL man to date?" He strutted and puffed out his chest.
"Get real, Davis, the closest thing you are to a real man is a gorilla. Besides, I know for a fact that you listen to Britney Spears' music."
Davis placed his hands on his hips. "She's got decent music...and her music videos are cool..." Davis's nose started to bleed.
Kari sniffed. "As if! I need a man who can appreciate good music!"
"Like?" Davis challenged.
Kari's eyes searched areound for a victim -- er, target. "Like...um...HIM!" She grabbed the arm of...Cody. A flicker of alarm was instantly visible in his emerald eyes. "Cody, do you like ska music?"
"..."
"Do you want to take me out for pizza after the tennis match?"
"..."
"Good! It's settled!" Kari gave Cody a bone-crushing hug and smiled.
Davis joined T.K. in blubbering.
---
Meanwhile, the older kids had some problems of their own. Instant recap time:
Sora was finally actually playing tennis. (What, have you all forgotten that's the reason we're at the tennis court? -- ed) She was having a bit of difficulty, however, because Tai was alternately calling out her name and cursing off the girl whom she was playing.
June had caught up with Matt.
Joe was still trying to deal with Gachou.
Izzy/Tuxedo Koushirou was in the park romancing Yolei.
Mimi was asleep in her bed in America, luckily escaping this insanity.
And now for a more in-depth look...
---
Sora was breathing heavily. Sweat formed on her forehead and ran in trickles down her face.
"The next person to score a point wins," announced the referee.
Sora nodded and gripped her tennis racket, preparing to serve. She had to concentrate. This was very important. She could not lose. She would have won already if not for --
"YOU CAN DO IT, SORAAAAA!"
-- him.
"Excuse me, may I have a moment?" asked Sora sweetly of the referee.
"That's highly irregular --"
"Excuse me, may I have a moment?"
There are some things that most people will find frightening. There are many things that some people find frightening. However, one thing that everyone, no matter what age, gender, race, or religion, will find scary is the sight of Sora Takenouchi when she's really mad.
And Sora had passed that stage about ten minutes ago.
"Yes'm," said the referee.
Sora marched through the stands to where Tai was sitting and cheering. She halted about two feet in front of him. With her free hand, she gripped his face and brought it up to her own face's level.
Tai attempted to grin, but thought better of it as her fingers dug into his flesh.
"Tai, I want you to do something for me, okay?" Sora cooed. "Now, it's not very much, but it's very important, so I want to make sure I say it in terms that you're tiny brain can comprehend."
Tai nodded eagerly.
"Tai," Sora said. "While I'm on the court for this last serve, I want you to do something very, very, simple, okay?"
"Eeep," was Tai's comment.
She took in a deep breath and screeched, "I WANT YOU TO SHUT UP AND NOT DISTRACT ME!" Then with some effort, Sora pasted a smile onto her face. "Understand, Tai-boy?"
Tai whimpered.
"I choose to take that as a yes," Sora grinned, walked back down to the court, and served.
Her opponent was so stunned, she let the ball sail past her without even making a move to block it.
Sora had won.
Tai considered cheering, but thought better of it. For once.
---
"So, Maaaaatt!" June squealed as the crowd erupted in (slightly stunned) cheers for Sora. "What are you doing next Friday night?"
"Washing my hair," Matt replied, perfectly dead-pan.
Nonplussed, June asked, "so what about Saturday night?"
"Washing my hair."
June, feeling a bit discouraged, tried again. "How about Sunday afternoon? I hear there's a really cool -- "
"Sorry. I'm drying my hair."
"You're lying to me!" June wailed.
Matt rolled his eyes as he looked at her. "You don't think that my hair gets like this by itself, do you?"*
*Actually, Matt wasn't lying about spending all weekend washing his hair. Matt Ishida used so much shampoo, hair spray, and gel on his hair that his father had forbidden him to wash his hair more than once a month. Therefore, when Matt washed his hair, he really made it count.
Jun sighed. "But, Maaaatt! What about our time together?"
"Actually, you look like you could spend some more time on your own hair," Matt said, not unkindly. "I can tell you of some really good brands."
"Maaaaatt!"
He sighed. "But you looked as if you wanted my hair-styling advice."
"I don't want your hair," said June, happy to have been handed such a straight line.
"Eh?" said Matt, looking genuinely surprised.
"I don't want your hair," June repeated for the sake of drama, her voice deepening sexily (she hoped). "I want you, Matt."
Matt squeaked. "W-w-what?"
June sighed. "Maaaaaaatt! Pay attention when I make a dramatic speech!"
Matt winced, finally realizing the point of her cornering him. And I thought it was all because of the hair! "Look, June, I'm sure you're a nice girl and all -- "
"Date me, so you can see how wrong you are!"
" -- but I, I'm already involved in a relationship," Matt said, the wheels in his head spinning furiously.
"With whom?" asked June skeptically.
"With my hair!" burst out Matt. "I am, I am, I am very involved with my hair! We have a very...uh...committed relationship!"
"But don't you feel the...need...for human companionship?" June sighed romantically.
"Erk. I'm sorry, June, I didn't want to hurt you, but I am actually involved in a committed relationship. I'm dating, um," he closed his eyes and hoped for luck, "that person, over there!" He pointed.
June squinted to see who her former lover-boy was pointing at. By a serendipitous coincidence*, Matt turned out to be fingering Tai, who was currently being beaten over the head with a tennis racket (courtesy of Sora).
*Chance favors: a) the prepared. b) those who load their dice.
"Oh, that's cool. Tai's a really hot guy, I would have gone after him except that my little brother Davis wants to date his little sister Kari and if they got married then Tai and I would be related and that's just ick -- wait a second," said Jun, whose mind finally had caught up with her mouth, "Matt, you're dating TAI? Does that mean you're GAY?! "
By some coincidence, June's voice had reached that point that's so loud that everyone can hear what she was saying, to the maximum embarrassment of Matt, who blushed and said "NO! I'm NOT GAY!"
"Matt, it's okay!" June 'soothed' him. "A lot of my crushes have told me they're gay! You don't have to deny yourself any longer! I'm okay with it!"
"But I'm NOT," he said between gritted teeth, "I meant SORA."
"Sora?" June blinked. "That little tennis girl that's beating Tai over the head? Well, I hate to lose you to anyone, but I guess you should go down there and rescue her."
"Rescue?" asked Matt, with a sweatdrop.
"Yeah, rescue! I'll be watching!"
Matt twitched. "Great, just great.."
---
Joe had been having a really terrible time throughout the whole tennis game. This was due to Gachou, who, even though he had a 'girlfriend', insisted on sticking next to him and talking incessantly. And clinging to his arm.
"Hey," said Gachou, "Joeykins, wake up."
"My name is not Joeykins," Joe sighed wearily.
"Joeykins, isn't that your girlfriend?" Gachou persisted.
"Huh?" Joe said, suddenly waking up fully.
"She's talking with that other guy...and another guy's coming up to her!"
"Have you no sense of shame?" Joe wondered.
"What would I do with it?"
"Never mind. So, because two guys are talking to my, um, girlfriend," Joe winced at the lie, but Gachou didn't notice, "I'm supposed to do what?"
"Tell her to stop, duh!" Gachou said. Her eyes became dreamy. "When one is in a relationship with one as cool as my Joeykins, one cannot even look at other guys!"
"One. Since when was I anyone's Joeykins? Two. Sora and I have discussed this before. She said that just because she's in a committed, long-term relationship, that doesn't mean she can't also be a hooker," said Joe, rambling on.
"And what did you say?"
Joe shrugged. "I said, 'I suppose I'm all right with that.'"
Gachou gaped. "I can't believe you have such low self-esteem! This blow to my Joeykins' honor cannot go unavenged!"
"Wha...what...wait! I don't care if she's a hooker!" Joe protested as Gachou dragged him to where Sora was (still) beating Tai with her tennis racket. To be fair, she was alternating this with yelling "you IDIOT!" Somehow, Gachou got them there before Matt showed up. (Again, Matt wasn't exactly in a hurry...)
"How dare you!" she snapped as she was face-to-face with Sora.
Sora blinked. "Pardon?"
"You're cheating on Joeykins with this weirdo with freakish hair!"
"Hey!" Tai said, insulted. "There's only one of us here with freakish hair! And it's you!"
Sora and Joe's faces became noticeably wooden.
"And anyway, whaddaya mean by 'cheating' on Joeykins? Who's this Joeykins anyway?"
"Uh, me," Joe blushed. Sora and Tai gained huge sweatdrops.
"Oh. But, anyway, the only guy Sora's dating is me!"
"Is that so," Sora said coldly, "well, you neglected to inform me of that!"
"I...I...I...well, you should have been dating me, anyway!"
"And who's fault is that?"
Matt appeared at this mini-Jerry Springer set and sweatdropped. "Um, sorry if this is a bad time, but I'm supposed to, uh, 'rescue' Sora."
"Rescue me, what do you mean by that, I'm fully capable of doing any rescuing that I need!" Sora snapped. "I'm a woman of the new millenium and I don't need any guys to rescue me, I'm fully capable of making my own choices!"
"Yeah, right! You cheat on Joeykins!" said Gachou, who could not keep her mouth shut. "You may talk big, but..." she grinned evily, "but you're still a hooker!"
"A WHAT?!" Sora screeched. Joe started looking for something to hide behind, but since he was the tallest, there was no hiding his guilty face.
"Sora, you're a hooker?" asked Matt, eyes glazed.
"I guess I didn't know you as well as I thought..." said Tai.
"You learn something new every day," Matt said decisively.
"Hey, Maaaatt, are you breaking up with Sora or something?" called June as she strode up to the group, shoving aside Joe (who tripped and fell) and appearing next to Gachou. Matt was struck by their resemblence. If June had dyed her hair green and gotten a pair of thick glasses, they would have been practically identical.
"Uh, no, I'm not!" said Matt hurriedly as he gripped onto Sora's arm. Tai, seeing his stance, gripped onto Sora's other arm.
They were both forced to hold on to Sora tighter than they'd expected as she screamed and started trying to hit both of them. "You IDIOTS!"
Joe, sprawled across the bleachers, looked up at the sky. One of his ear pieces slipped as he groaned, "you really have it in for me, don't you?"
To Be Continued...
Yes, Joeykins. Yes, I do. ^_^
I was going to say something clever here, but I just looked at the window and said "Oh my god, it's SNOWING!" Score one for my power of observation, it's probably been snowing for the past hour or so.
Thank you, Oniichan, for giving me the basic description of Gachou. ^_^ I don't know if Gachou actually is a name, but who cares?
Now, my mind has been blown by the appearance of snow, and I'm actually sick as I type this and I should be sleeping, but I have to say something first.
I really, really want to finish this fic. It was the first Digimon fic I'd ever attempted, and it's definitely one of the more slapstick fics I've attempted. I was bogged down for about two months at the same few scenes, and I was considering posting it half-finished and asking someone to complete it for me. However, I managed to have fun and continue writing this. If you have any ideas for this fic, then write 'em down there in the little box! I wouldn't be writing this except for the fans. And the death threats I shall be receiving if I don't finish this monster soon. ^_^;;
You think I'm kidding -- but I'm not. -_-;;
I give you all permission to e-mail or IM me (Rbooks5678@aol.com) and yell at me if I'm not working on this, Kyoudai (my other series, which threatens to be an even bigger monster than this one), or my column, which is due in less than a week. Uh-oh. ^_^;;
What will happen on Kari's and Cody's date? Will T.K. and Kari get back together? Will Davis and Kari ever get together? What else do computer geeks do when on a date? Will Matt and Joe ditch their annoying dates? What's up with the connection between Gachou and June? Will Mimi show up? Who gets Sora: Tai, Matt, or Joe? Will Sora say "Screw you three, I'm a liberated woman!" and run off to Tahiti with the Digimon Emperor? (Hey, it's a possibility.)
Just remember, nothing
Write what you want to see, and I'll laugh at your pathetic responses and do things my own way, much like Fox Kids! ^_-