Title: So Much For the Afterglow
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Mine . . . all mine!!! evil grin Oh, but I stole the title from a kickass song by Everclear.
Category: Jake/Hamilton
Summary: It's just before fall semester begins and Jake discovers she has bigger problems than hiding her gender.
Distribution: Required Reading, of course; and anywhere else, as long as you email me to let me know and keep these headers with the story.
Author's Notes: This was originally the start of an X-Files fic but I changed it around a bit to conform it to Jake and Hamilton because, frankly, I suck at writing Mulder and Scully. Oh well . . . sigh.
Thanks: To Jean, for beta reading this. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And to everyone else who keeps writing YA fic; you're going to end up saving my sanity if we never see the show again so thanks!
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Part 2
Friday had nearly ended before the next time that Hamilton saw Jake. After she'd left him in the bathroom earlier that day he hadn't seen her at all since. Finally, around eleven o'clock that night, after several failed attempts to reach her by phone and several strange conversations with Bella that brought forth more questions than answers, he decided it was time he just went over to see what was going on for himself. His parents were out of town on a late summer trip anyway and weren't due back in until Sunday afternoon, the day before school started. He and Jake had been planning to spend some quality time together while they were away. But, since they'd left early on Thursday morning, things with Jake had been very strange. Something was definitely wrong and Hamilton intended to find out what was going on.
He knocked twice and waited. No answer. He knocked again. Still nothing. He tried the door and was surprised to find it unlocked. "Jake?" he called softly as he entered the darkened room. "You in here?"
"Yeah," came a soft reply from the bed. Though it was mid September, the weather in Massachusetts was unseasonably warm and it was still a little muggy out. However, Hamilton found Jake wrapped in a blanket and seemingly sitting wide awake on her bed in the dark. This only served to heighten his concern.
He rushed over, closing the door as he went, and sat by her on the bed. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you sick?" he asked.
She turned to look at him and the moonlight from the window provided enough illumination for him to make out the tears on her cheeks. "I'm not sick, Hamilton," she replied softly.
He immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her head against his chest. Placing a soft kiss atop her hair, he said, "Then what? Tell me what's wrong, baby. You're scaring me."
"Everything is wrong, Hamilton," she moaned. "Nothing will ever be right again. My whole life just sucks."
"Oh, don't say that. We're together . . . doesn't that count for anything? No matter what else is wrong, I'm always here with you. You can always count on that, no matter what," he assured her.
Jake broke free of his arms and sat up to look into his soft, clear eyes. She could see his feelings for her through his eyes. Even in the dark, his love shone right through. He was always that way; leaving his emotions on public display, never afraid to let the world know how he felt. She, on the other hand, was always the one who hid things. She guarded her feelings like a secret, afraid that if they got out then they'd be ruined. She realized, though, as she looked into his eyes, that she longed to be able to be like Hamilton; to be open and honest and never afraid of how she felt.
"I love you," she said. "More than I ever thought I could love anyone; more than I thought it was even possible to love. You're the most important person in the world to me. If things ever end between us I'll--"
"Shh, don't talk like that," Hamilton said as he brought one finger to her lips to quiet her. "That will never happen. We'll always be together . . . always."
"I wish I knew that for sure," Jake replied and he could hear the sadness in her voice yet again.
"I do know that for sure," he said in return. "I may only be sixteen years old, but I can't imagine ever loving anyone else as much as I love you. You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with," he said confidently, then leaned in for a kiss.
Jake knew that she should say something then. She knew that she should stop kissing him and tell him the truth. He deserved to know. She had to tell him . . . but kissing him just felt so good. His kisses just seemed to make all of their problems melt away. Maybe, if she kissed him long enough, things would just be resolved and she could stop worrying altogether . . .
Of course, she knew this would never happen. This problem would still be here in the morning and she'd still have to tell him. But couldn't she just have one more night to be happy with the man she loved before she turned both of their worlds upside down forever? She was sure that they both deserved at least that.
So, she continued the kisses. And she let him touch her and she touched him in return. His hands traveled across the smooth skin of her back, over her still flat stomach and up to reverently caress her breasts. He took off her shirt and then joined it with his own in the floor. She slipped out of her boxer shorts and he kicked away his jeans. Soon enough, nothing was separating them; nothing but the night and the heat and the darkness.
He kissed her passionately, savoring the feel of her as his hands roamed over her naked flesh. Jake let herself be possessed, let his hands and his lips control her as she gave in to everything that she knew they were both feeling. It felt so good, so right . . . like just being with him made things better.
When he slid his hand between her legs, she felt a jolt run through her body. She shouldn't be letting this happen with all that had happened and all that she had to tell him . . . but it just felt so perfect. She was afraid to shatter the moment for fear that she'd never get the chance to be with him this way again.
She tried to clear her mind of everything but his touch, tried to concentrate only on what she was feeling and not think about anything else. And it was working. She could feel everything else slipping away as he coaxed her body higher and higher, away from reality and into their own personal fantasy.
By the time he reached for his pants to retrieve a condom, it was too late to turn back. She wanted to tell him the truth, but she also wanted this one last chance to be with him, to be a part of him and he a part of her. She couldn't stop now.
As he entered her, she cried. She had cried the first time, too, but that had been from the pain. And he had kissed away her tears and proceeded so slowly that she knew it had been practically killing him. Still, he had let her take all the time she needed to grow accustomed to the new feelings and sensations before he had moved any faster. He would have rather died than to hurt her and she knew then that she was more important to him than sex would ever be. But now, things were different. Her tears were different, and he knew this.
"Jake?" he asked in a worried voice as he stilled his body over hers and touched her face. Her eyes, which had been closed, opened to meet his and he gave her a questioning look of concern. "Baby, what's wrong? Am I hurting you?" His voice was just short of terrified as he thought that there was even the slightest possibility that he was causing her pain. "We can stop, Jake, we can," he assured her.
"No! No, I don't want to stop . . . please," she said. "I'm fine . . . I'll be fine. You're not hurting me. I just . . . I love you so much, Hamilton." She was crying freely now, tears coursing down her cheeks as she looked up into his beautiful eyes and saw all of her love for him reflected in his gaze.
"I love you, too, baby. You know that," he said softly as he bent down to kiss her cheek. His thumb brushed away her tears as his lips made their way to her mouth for a gentle, loving kiss. "I'll never stop loving you," he pledged and she wanted so badly to believe that. If only she could know for sure that nothing could ever change that love . . .
She brought her legs up around him and pulled him closer, urging him to continue in their lovemaking. He did, moving languidly as though to remember every minute, every second, that they were together. Afterwards, he slept in her arms. She would usually have drifted off, too, but on this night she had a lot on her mind. She felt guilty about letting this happen without telling him the truth. But she also felt glad that they had one last time to just be happy with nothing else to stand between them.
The moon still cast a shadowy light into her room and she regarded his sleeping face solemnly. He was beautiful. She'd never seen anyone quite as beautiful as her Hamilton. It almost broke her heart to look at him. And, even if it didn't turn out to be forever, for that night in that moment, be belonged to her. And that would have to be enough. She'd tell him the truth tomorrow, but tonight she just wanted to be happy one last time . . . and stay wrapped up in his arms for one more night.
* * * * *
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Mine . . . all mine!!! evil grin Oh, but I stole the title from a kickass song by Everclear.
Category: Jake/Hamilton
Summary: It's just before fall semester begins and Jake discovers she has bigger problems than hiding her gender.
Distribution: Required Reading, of course; and anywhere else, as long as you email me to let me know and keep these headers with the story.
Author's Notes: This was originally the start of an X-Files fic but I changed it around a bit to conform it to Jake and Hamilton because, frankly, I suck at writing Mulder and Scully. Oh well . . . sigh.
Thanks: To Jean, for beta reading this. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And to everyone else who keeps writing YA fic; you're going to end up saving my sanity if we never see the show again so thanks!
----------------------------------
Part 2
Friday had nearly ended before the next time that Hamilton saw Jake. After she'd left him in the bathroom earlier that day he hadn't seen her at all since. Finally, around eleven o'clock that night, after several failed attempts to reach her by phone and several strange conversations with Bella that brought forth more questions than answers, he decided it was time he just went over to see what was going on for himself. His parents were out of town on a late summer trip anyway and weren't due back in until Sunday afternoon, the day before school started. He and Jake had been planning to spend some quality time together while they were away. But, since they'd left early on Thursday morning, things with Jake had been very strange. Something was definitely wrong and Hamilton intended to find out what was going on.
He knocked twice and waited. No answer. He knocked again. Still nothing. He tried the door and was surprised to find it unlocked. "Jake?" he called softly as he entered the darkened room. "You in here?"
"Yeah," came a soft reply from the bed. Though it was mid September, the weather in Massachusetts was unseasonably warm and it was still a little muggy out. However, Hamilton found Jake wrapped in a blanket and seemingly sitting wide awake on her bed in the dark. This only served to heighten his concern.
He rushed over, closing the door as he went, and sat by her on the bed. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you sick?" he asked.
She turned to look at him and the moonlight from the window provided enough illumination for him to make out the tears on her cheeks. "I'm not sick, Hamilton," she replied softly.
He immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her head against his chest. Placing a soft kiss atop her hair, he said, "Then what? Tell me what's wrong, baby. You're scaring me."
"Everything is wrong, Hamilton," she moaned. "Nothing will ever be right again. My whole life just sucks."
"Oh, don't say that. We're together . . . doesn't that count for anything? No matter what else is wrong, I'm always here with you. You can always count on that, no matter what," he assured her.
Jake broke free of his arms and sat up to look into his soft, clear eyes. She could see his feelings for her through his eyes. Even in the dark, his love shone right through. He was always that way; leaving his emotions on public display, never afraid to let the world know how he felt. She, on the other hand, was always the one who hid things. She guarded her feelings like a secret, afraid that if they got out then they'd be ruined. She realized, though, as she looked into his eyes, that she longed to be able to be like Hamilton; to be open and honest and never afraid of how she felt.
"I love you," she said. "More than I ever thought I could love anyone; more than I thought it was even possible to love. You're the most important person in the world to me. If things ever end between us I'll--"
"Shh, don't talk like that," Hamilton said as he brought one finger to her lips to quiet her. "That will never happen. We'll always be together . . . always."
"I wish I knew that for sure," Jake replied and he could hear the sadness in her voice yet again.
"I do know that for sure," he said in return. "I may only be sixteen years old, but I can't imagine ever loving anyone else as much as I love you. You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with," he said confidently, then leaned in for a kiss.
Jake knew that she should say something then. She knew that she should stop kissing him and tell him the truth. He deserved to know. She had to tell him . . . but kissing him just felt so good. His kisses just seemed to make all of their problems melt away. Maybe, if she kissed him long enough, things would just be resolved and she could stop worrying altogether . . .
Of course, she knew this would never happen. This problem would still be here in the morning and she'd still have to tell him. But couldn't she just have one more night to be happy with the man she loved before she turned both of their worlds upside down forever? She was sure that they both deserved at least that.
So, she continued the kisses. And she let him touch her and she touched him in return. His hands traveled across the smooth skin of her back, over her still flat stomach and up to reverently caress her breasts. He took off her shirt and then joined it with his own in the floor. She slipped out of her boxer shorts and he kicked away his jeans. Soon enough, nothing was separating them; nothing but the night and the heat and the darkness.
He kissed her passionately, savoring the feel of her as his hands roamed over her naked flesh. Jake let herself be possessed, let his hands and his lips control her as she gave in to everything that she knew they were both feeling. It felt so good, so right . . . like just being with him made things better.
When he slid his hand between her legs, she felt a jolt run through her body. She shouldn't be letting this happen with all that had happened and all that she had to tell him . . . but it just felt so perfect. She was afraid to shatter the moment for fear that she'd never get the chance to be with him this way again.
She tried to clear her mind of everything but his touch, tried to concentrate only on what she was feeling and not think about anything else. And it was working. She could feel everything else slipping away as he coaxed her body higher and higher, away from reality and into their own personal fantasy.
By the time he reached for his pants to retrieve a condom, it was too late to turn back. She wanted to tell him the truth, but she also wanted this one last chance to be with him, to be a part of him and he a part of her. She couldn't stop now.
As he entered her, she cried. She had cried the first time, too, but that had been from the pain. And he had kissed away her tears and proceeded so slowly that she knew it had been practically killing him. Still, he had let her take all the time she needed to grow accustomed to the new feelings and sensations before he had moved any faster. He would have rather died than to hurt her and she knew then that she was more important to him than sex would ever be. But now, things were different. Her tears were different, and he knew this.
"Jake?" he asked in a worried voice as he stilled his body over hers and touched her face. Her eyes, which had been closed, opened to meet his and he gave her a questioning look of concern. "Baby, what's wrong? Am I hurting you?" His voice was just short of terrified as he thought that there was even the slightest possibility that he was causing her pain. "We can stop, Jake, we can," he assured her.
"No! No, I don't want to stop . . . please," she said. "I'm fine . . . I'll be fine. You're not hurting me. I just . . . I love you so much, Hamilton." She was crying freely now, tears coursing down her cheeks as she looked up into his beautiful eyes and saw all of her love for him reflected in his gaze.
"I love you, too, baby. You know that," he said softly as he bent down to kiss her cheek. His thumb brushed away her tears as his lips made their way to her mouth for a gentle, loving kiss. "I'll never stop loving you," he pledged and she wanted so badly to believe that. If only she could know for sure that nothing could ever change that love . . .
She brought her legs up around him and pulled him closer, urging him to continue in their lovemaking. He did, moving languidly as though to remember every minute, every second, that they were together. Afterwards, he slept in her arms. She would usually have drifted off, too, but on this night she had a lot on her mind. She felt guilty about letting this happen without telling him the truth. But she also felt glad that they had one last time to just be happy with nothing else to stand between them.
The moon still cast a shadowy light into her room and she regarded his sleeping face solemnly. He was beautiful. She'd never seen anyone quite as beautiful as her Hamilton. It almost broke her heart to look at him. And, even if it didn't turn out to be forever, for that night in that moment, be belonged to her. And that would have to be enough. She'd tell him the truth tomorrow, but tonight she just wanted to be happy one last time . . . and stay wrapped up in his arms for one more night.
* * * * *