Title: So Much For the Afterglow
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Mine . . . all mine!!! evil grin Oh, but I stole the title from a kickass song by Everclear.
Category: Jake/Hamilton
Summary: It's just before fall semester begins and Jake discovers she has bigger problems than hiding her gender.
Distribution: Required Reading, of course; and anywhere else, as long as you email me to let me know and keep these headers with the story.
Author's Notes: This was originally the start of an X-Files fic but I changed it around a bit to conform it to Jake and Hamilton because, frankly, I suck at writing Mulder and Scully. Oh well . . . sigh.
Thanks: To Jean, for beta reading this. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And to everyone else who keeps writing YA fic; you're going to end up saving my sanity if we never see the show again so thanks!
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Part 3
"So you didn't tell him," Bella concluded.
"Well," Jake replied, "Technically, no." It was Saturday morning and the two girls had been discussing the situation over the phone for about twenty minutes or so.
"Technically?" Bella repeated.
"I tried," Jake said in her own defense. "I had every intention of telling him last night. But . . . I was scared of what he'd say. And then I was just going to go to bed and call him this morning, but then he showed up at my door last night and . . ."
"He spent the night?" Bella asked.
"Well . . . yeah," Jake admitted.
"You really need to tell him, Jake," she said through the phone. "I mean I know it's none of my business, but--"
"No," Jake interrupted. "I brought you into this mess. I made it your business. It's okay. And you're right; I do need to tell him. I was going to tell him when we woke up this morning, but it turns out he'd already left by the time I got up."
"Where'd he go?" Bella asked.
"I dunno," she said. "He left a note saying he loved me and that he was going to spend the morning getting things ready for my 'surprise', whatever that means. I'm meeting him by the docks at twelve thirty, though. We'll talk then."
"I think that's a good idea," Bella said.
"Well, I better go. I need to get ready to leave," Jake told her friend.
"Okay, good luck," Bella said.
"Thanks, I'll call you later. Bye."
After hanging up, Jake started rooting through her closet, trying to decide what to wear. What do you wear to destroy a relationship? She picked something at random and began to get dressed, all the while dreading what she was about to have to do.
* * * * *
She arrived at the docks right on time to find Hamilton already waiting for her. He greeted her with a huge grin on his face. "Hey babe," he said as he approached.
"Hey . . ." she said cautiously. Okay, this was it. She was going to tell him. "Look, Hamilton, there's something I need to tell--"
"Wait! Hold that thought," he said quickly. "Your surprise is ready."
"But I really need to talk to you about this and--"
"Jake, it'll only take a couple of minutes to get where we're going," he assured her. "And once we're there we'll have a lot more privacy to talk about whatever it is, okay?"
She sighed but nodded. "Okay, let's go."
He beamed at her and took her hand, oblivious to the fact that anyone could be watching from afar, seeing them together like this. She removed her hand from his and he looked at her quizzically. "We're outside, anyone could see," she offered as an explanation."
"Oh . . . yeah, I hadn't thought of that. Sorry."
She smiled at her boyfriend and they continued walking side by side down the dock. They stopped when they reached the edge. Jake looked over into the water and saw a small, wooden boat floating there. "We're getting in that?" she asked skeptically. It barely looked seaworthy to her.
"Sure we are. It's perfectly safe," he promised. "Besides, we go out in this water every day for crew practice. It'll be fine." She shrugged, figuring he was probably right, and let him help her into the boat. He followed right behind her and soon he was rowing away from the dock.
"So, just where are we going anyway?" she asked.
"Well, that would constitute the surprise, now wouldn't it?" he teased. "Don't worry, I won't keep you in suspense for long. We're almost there." She nodded and sat back as he continued across the lake. The shores in front of Rawley Boys were now out of sight as they rounded a few turns in the lake. She'd never seen this part of the waterfront before. It was more shaded with trees and had fewer clearings to dock at. Jake kept looking around, trying to decipher just where Hamilton was heading.
Finally, after being in the water for about fifteen minutes, he pulled the boat up to what looked like a makeshift dock along the water's edge. "Here we are," Hamilton announced happily."
"Yeah, but *where* is *here*?" she asked as she surveyed the wooded area around them.
"Allow me to escort you, madam," he said gallantly as he hopped out of the boat and offered her his hand. She took it and kept hold of him as he led her through a bank of trees on what looked like a path that was just a bit overgrown. When they finally reached a clearing, Jake saw what he'd been planning.
Just ahead of them, beneath a huge oak tree, lay a blanket and a large, wooden picnic basket. "Ta-da!" Hamilton announced proudly. "So, what do you think of the surprise?" he asked.
"Oh, Hamilton . . . this is . . . just so sweet," she finally said. Despite everything going through her mind at that moment, she still had to smile at the fact that he'd spent so much time setting up a romantic afternoon for the two of them. She kissed his cheek and softly said, "Thank you."
He leaded down to kiss her lips and replied, "Anything for my girl."
She smiled at that remark and the two of them headed over to the private picnic area to sit down. "So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" Hamilton said.
"Oh . . . uh, yeah, well . . ." She frantically searched for a way to start this very difficult conversation.
"Jake, does this have anything to do with why you've been acting so strange for the past week or so? Because whatever it is you can tell me. I want you to know that. Just tell me what it is." He seemed so sincere, so sure that he was ready for whatever she had to say to him. She was certain, however, that he would not be ready for this.
'Okay Jake, just say it,' she mentally instructed herself. 'Just close your eyes and spill your guts.'
"Hamilton, the reason that I've been so on edge and acting so crazy lately is . . . well . . . um, I think that maybe I might possibly, or maybe I should say that I almost probably am, um . . ." he watched her face as she stammered through her speech, giving her his full attention. "Uh, well . . . pregnant," she finally blurted.
Hamilton's eyes grew to twice their normal size and his jaw literally dropped. "You're . . . you're . . . excuse me? What?" He sounded like he really thought he must have misheard her.
"Pregnant," she repeated. "I think I'm pregnant."
"I . . . I . . . I . . . how? We were always, always, *always* careful! And it's not like we've been together that many times and . . . and . . ." he was searching for any explanation that would make this not true. She knew how he felt. She'd gone through the same thing herself when she first discovered the predicament she was in.
"Hamilton . . . I guess even careful isn't always careful enough. I'm not sure how or why or even really when . . . but it's true. I'm two weeks late. I'm never really exactly regular, so I didn't think anything of it until it had been a whole week. Then I got worried. I went to the drug store and got a test and yesterday I finally got he nerve to take it. It came out positive."
He sat there in silence, just looking at the ground as his expression changed rapidly. First there was shock, total and utter surprise that this wasn't all a dream; that this was really happening to him . . . to them. Then there was disbelief; no, this couldn't possibly be true. It just wasn't fair. She *couldn't* be . . . not when things were finally perfect for once. Then his expression changed again, this time to a look somewhere in between sadness, defeat, and hurt.
"It doesn't sound very positive," he said then and his voice breaking the long silence actually surprised her.
"What?" she asked.
"You said it came out positive . . . why do they call it that anyway? When I think of something positive I think of something good."
Jake shrugged sadly. "I guess sometimes, to some people, this might be considered positive." Hamilton nodded and looked off into the distance. Jake felt awful. She could see what this news was doing to him and she felt like it was all her fault. "Hamilton," she said meekly in a voice already tinged with tears, "I'm so sorry."
He turned then and finally looked at her, as if he'd just remembered that she was even there. His face melted into regret as he shook his head. "Oh no, baby, this isn't your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. It's just . . . well, I wasn't expecting this, that's all." He could see that she was close to falling apart as she sniffled and nodded. Her lower lip was trembling, her eyes already red . . . one look broke his heart. All he could do was wrap her in his arms.
Once she was cradled against him, she finally lost control. Her tears came quickly, nearly choking her as she sobbed uncontrollably. "Oh God, I'm so scared, Hamilton. I don't know what to do . . . this is just too much . . . it's too much . . ."
"Shh, baby, it's okay. We're going to get through this, okay? We will, I promise," he soothed.
"Please don't leave me, Hamilton. I need you so much . . . please . . ."
"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her. "You can't get rid of me, no matter what." He laid a soft kiss on her forehead and hugged her tightly to him. "I love you, Jake . . . we'll figure this out together."
* * * * *
It was several hours later before they returned to Jake's dorm room from what was supposed to have been their romantic afternoon together. They were far from happy, though. Several people had even stopped to ask what was wrong on their way back across campus. Hamilton had merely explained that Jake was sick, probably some kind of food poisoning, and he was taking 'him' back to the dorms to get some rest. Everyone seemed to buy that explanation, or at least they pretended to.
Once he had her back in her room with the door closed and her tucked into the bed, Hamilton sat by his girlfriend's side and began to gently stroke her hair. "Try to sleep, Jake. You need to get some rest," he told her. It was only about five in the afternoon, but he knew that she was physically and emotionally drained from all of the worrying she'd done for the past few days.
"Hamilton," she said softly, "I'm sorry about how I fell apart today."
"Shh, don't be sorry," he said.
"No, it's just not like me. I can usually deal with things. I'm usually the strong one. But this . . ." Her eyes filled with fresh tears as she said, "I just don't know how to handle this."
"It's okay, we'll figure something out tomorrow. Tonight I just want you to get some sleep," he said.
"Will you stay with me?" she asked.
"Of course, I'm right here," he assured her.
She moved to one side of the bed and pulled on his hand. "I don't want to be alone," she pleaded. He nodded and climbed into bed beside her, immediately pulling her into his arms with her head resting just below his chin.
"I love you, Jake. I love you so much," he said softly. It was the last thing she remembered before she slipped away into the temporary peace of sleep.
* * * * *
Author: Courtney
Email: courtneystovall@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Mine . . . all mine!!! evil grin Oh, but I stole the title from a kickass song by Everclear.
Category: Jake/Hamilton
Summary: It's just before fall semester begins and Jake discovers she has bigger problems than hiding her gender.
Distribution: Required Reading, of course; and anywhere else, as long as you email me to let me know and keep these headers with the story.
Author's Notes: This was originally the start of an X-Files fic but I changed it around a bit to conform it to Jake and Hamilton because, frankly, I suck at writing Mulder and Scully. Oh well . . . sigh.
Thanks: To Jean, for beta reading this. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And to everyone else who keeps writing YA fic; you're going to end up saving my sanity if we never see the show again so thanks!
----------------------------------
Part 3
"So you didn't tell him," Bella concluded.
"Well," Jake replied, "Technically, no." It was Saturday morning and the two girls had been discussing the situation over the phone for about twenty minutes or so.
"Technically?" Bella repeated.
"I tried," Jake said in her own defense. "I had every intention of telling him last night. But . . . I was scared of what he'd say. And then I was just going to go to bed and call him this morning, but then he showed up at my door last night and . . ."
"He spent the night?" Bella asked.
"Well . . . yeah," Jake admitted.
"You really need to tell him, Jake," she said through the phone. "I mean I know it's none of my business, but--"
"No," Jake interrupted. "I brought you into this mess. I made it your business. It's okay. And you're right; I do need to tell him. I was going to tell him when we woke up this morning, but it turns out he'd already left by the time I got up."
"Where'd he go?" Bella asked.
"I dunno," she said. "He left a note saying he loved me and that he was going to spend the morning getting things ready for my 'surprise', whatever that means. I'm meeting him by the docks at twelve thirty, though. We'll talk then."
"I think that's a good idea," Bella said.
"Well, I better go. I need to get ready to leave," Jake told her friend.
"Okay, good luck," Bella said.
"Thanks, I'll call you later. Bye."
After hanging up, Jake started rooting through her closet, trying to decide what to wear. What do you wear to destroy a relationship? She picked something at random and began to get dressed, all the while dreading what she was about to have to do.
* * * * *
She arrived at the docks right on time to find Hamilton already waiting for her. He greeted her with a huge grin on his face. "Hey babe," he said as he approached.
"Hey . . ." she said cautiously. Okay, this was it. She was going to tell him. "Look, Hamilton, there's something I need to tell--"
"Wait! Hold that thought," he said quickly. "Your surprise is ready."
"But I really need to talk to you about this and--"
"Jake, it'll only take a couple of minutes to get where we're going," he assured her. "And once we're there we'll have a lot more privacy to talk about whatever it is, okay?"
She sighed but nodded. "Okay, let's go."
He beamed at her and took her hand, oblivious to the fact that anyone could be watching from afar, seeing them together like this. She removed her hand from his and he looked at her quizzically. "We're outside, anyone could see," she offered as an explanation."
"Oh . . . yeah, I hadn't thought of that. Sorry."
She smiled at her boyfriend and they continued walking side by side down the dock. They stopped when they reached the edge. Jake looked over into the water and saw a small, wooden boat floating there. "We're getting in that?" she asked skeptically. It barely looked seaworthy to her.
"Sure we are. It's perfectly safe," he promised. "Besides, we go out in this water every day for crew practice. It'll be fine." She shrugged, figuring he was probably right, and let him help her into the boat. He followed right behind her and soon he was rowing away from the dock.
"So, just where are we going anyway?" she asked.
"Well, that would constitute the surprise, now wouldn't it?" he teased. "Don't worry, I won't keep you in suspense for long. We're almost there." She nodded and sat back as he continued across the lake. The shores in front of Rawley Boys were now out of sight as they rounded a few turns in the lake. She'd never seen this part of the waterfront before. It was more shaded with trees and had fewer clearings to dock at. Jake kept looking around, trying to decipher just where Hamilton was heading.
Finally, after being in the water for about fifteen minutes, he pulled the boat up to what looked like a makeshift dock along the water's edge. "Here we are," Hamilton announced happily."
"Yeah, but *where* is *here*?" she asked as she surveyed the wooded area around them.
"Allow me to escort you, madam," he said gallantly as he hopped out of the boat and offered her his hand. She took it and kept hold of him as he led her through a bank of trees on what looked like a path that was just a bit overgrown. When they finally reached a clearing, Jake saw what he'd been planning.
Just ahead of them, beneath a huge oak tree, lay a blanket and a large, wooden picnic basket. "Ta-da!" Hamilton announced proudly. "So, what do you think of the surprise?" he asked.
"Oh, Hamilton . . . this is . . . just so sweet," she finally said. Despite everything going through her mind at that moment, she still had to smile at the fact that he'd spent so much time setting up a romantic afternoon for the two of them. She kissed his cheek and softly said, "Thank you."
He leaded down to kiss her lips and replied, "Anything for my girl."
She smiled at that remark and the two of them headed over to the private picnic area to sit down. "So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" Hamilton said.
"Oh . . . uh, yeah, well . . ." She frantically searched for a way to start this very difficult conversation.
"Jake, does this have anything to do with why you've been acting so strange for the past week or so? Because whatever it is you can tell me. I want you to know that. Just tell me what it is." He seemed so sincere, so sure that he was ready for whatever she had to say to him. She was certain, however, that he would not be ready for this.
'Okay Jake, just say it,' she mentally instructed herself. 'Just close your eyes and spill your guts.'
"Hamilton, the reason that I've been so on edge and acting so crazy lately is . . . well . . . um, I think that maybe I might possibly, or maybe I should say that I almost probably am, um . . ." he watched her face as she stammered through her speech, giving her his full attention. "Uh, well . . . pregnant," she finally blurted.
Hamilton's eyes grew to twice their normal size and his jaw literally dropped. "You're . . . you're . . . excuse me? What?" He sounded like he really thought he must have misheard her.
"Pregnant," she repeated. "I think I'm pregnant."
"I . . . I . . . I . . . how? We were always, always, *always* careful! And it's not like we've been together that many times and . . . and . . ." he was searching for any explanation that would make this not true. She knew how he felt. She'd gone through the same thing herself when she first discovered the predicament she was in.
"Hamilton . . . I guess even careful isn't always careful enough. I'm not sure how or why or even really when . . . but it's true. I'm two weeks late. I'm never really exactly regular, so I didn't think anything of it until it had been a whole week. Then I got worried. I went to the drug store and got a test and yesterday I finally got he nerve to take it. It came out positive."
He sat there in silence, just looking at the ground as his expression changed rapidly. First there was shock, total and utter surprise that this wasn't all a dream; that this was really happening to him . . . to them. Then there was disbelief; no, this couldn't possibly be true. It just wasn't fair. She *couldn't* be . . . not when things were finally perfect for once. Then his expression changed again, this time to a look somewhere in between sadness, defeat, and hurt.
"It doesn't sound very positive," he said then and his voice breaking the long silence actually surprised her.
"What?" she asked.
"You said it came out positive . . . why do they call it that anyway? When I think of something positive I think of something good."
Jake shrugged sadly. "I guess sometimes, to some people, this might be considered positive." Hamilton nodded and looked off into the distance. Jake felt awful. She could see what this news was doing to him and she felt like it was all her fault. "Hamilton," she said meekly in a voice already tinged with tears, "I'm so sorry."
He turned then and finally looked at her, as if he'd just remembered that she was even there. His face melted into regret as he shook his head. "Oh no, baby, this isn't your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. It's just . . . well, I wasn't expecting this, that's all." He could see that she was close to falling apart as she sniffled and nodded. Her lower lip was trembling, her eyes already red . . . one look broke his heart. All he could do was wrap her in his arms.
Once she was cradled against him, she finally lost control. Her tears came quickly, nearly choking her as she sobbed uncontrollably. "Oh God, I'm so scared, Hamilton. I don't know what to do . . . this is just too much . . . it's too much . . ."
"Shh, baby, it's okay. We're going to get through this, okay? We will, I promise," he soothed.
"Please don't leave me, Hamilton. I need you so much . . . please . . ."
"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her. "You can't get rid of me, no matter what." He laid a soft kiss on her forehead and hugged her tightly to him. "I love you, Jake . . . we'll figure this out together."
* * * * *
It was several hours later before they returned to Jake's dorm room from what was supposed to have been their romantic afternoon together. They were far from happy, though. Several people had even stopped to ask what was wrong on their way back across campus. Hamilton had merely explained that Jake was sick, probably some kind of food poisoning, and he was taking 'him' back to the dorms to get some rest. Everyone seemed to buy that explanation, or at least they pretended to.
Once he had her back in her room with the door closed and her tucked into the bed, Hamilton sat by his girlfriend's side and began to gently stroke her hair. "Try to sleep, Jake. You need to get some rest," he told her. It was only about five in the afternoon, but he knew that she was physically and emotionally drained from all of the worrying she'd done for the past few days.
"Hamilton," she said softly, "I'm sorry about how I fell apart today."
"Shh, don't be sorry," he said.
"No, it's just not like me. I can usually deal with things. I'm usually the strong one. But this . . ." Her eyes filled with fresh tears as she said, "I just don't know how to handle this."
"It's okay, we'll figure something out tomorrow. Tonight I just want you to get some sleep," he said.
"Will you stay with me?" she asked.
"Of course, I'm right here," he assured her.
She moved to one side of the bed and pulled on his hand. "I don't want to be alone," she pleaded. He nodded and climbed into bed beside her, immediately pulling her into his arms with her head resting just below his chin.
"I love you, Jake. I love you so much," he said softly. It was the last thing she remembered before she slipped away into the temporary peace of sleep.
* * * * *