Casting Call #2:
Gundam Wing: Roles with Lines!!!
Did you try out to be an extra, and you didn't have that bit of suicidal ba-da-bing that our directors were looking for? Fear not! For here are 4 new exciting roles just opening up!
Acting in Gundam Wing has been linked to sudden seizures and loss of hearing. Memory loss and pyromania are common, as well as sudden twitching at the mention of the words "peace" and "braid". Do not ingest orally. May contain traces of peanuts. Do not use in case of hurricane. Make sure that your life insurance, PLPD, kidnap and ransom insurance, fire, disaster, and theft insurance policies are up to date. If you can read this, you don't need glasses.
Thank you.
Silvie Noventa
Do you have that sweet-as-pie-but-concealing-steel-though-you-really-look-like-you'd-scream-at-a-mouse look? And do you bear a grudge against Heero? Here is the role for you!
*Preliminary psychiatric session required. (For any would-be assassins, we do not want you taking the gun and actually shooting Heero.)
*Life insurance required. (Just in case)
Firm in no way guarantees safety when working with one Heero Yuy.
Quatre's Sister
Find and bind the broken Quatre, then give your life to save his.
*audition with Quatre required. Remember, you're supposed to be his sister.
Harsh-sounding Military Dude Who is Killed by Une by Falling Out of Jet
Due to a failed take, this role has just opened up! Must have voice like a dying harpy and acting skills of a rutabaga.
Voice dissent to Noventa's peace plan, live long enough to be dumped out of an airplane by the aforesaid Une.
* Bring your own parachute, we're low on props.
*do not deploy parachute too early, it ruins the take. And we have discovered that Heero hates ruined takes, and the firm in no way guarantees safety around one Heero Yuy.
Catherine
This extremely exciting role has just opened up due to an unfortunate accident involving knives. But don't worry. Reconstructive surgery is being applied to Trowa's bangs.
And now, for a quick and exciting bulletin that was just barely available at press time:
There are more Extra roles opening up!
Student at Relena's School
Must be a young lady of strong constitution, able to withstand long-winded speeches on total pacifism. No word yet on if the school is all-girls. Aspiring actresses must be (or at least able to act) adoring of Relena.
*hypnosis currently not available due to the fact that people need to speak lines when they are acting. Our hypnotists only have the skill to make people squawk like chickens, which would result in a failed take, and Heero hates failed takes.
Sample lines:
1. "You're so wise, Miss Relena."
2. "Yes, Miss Relena."
- And, as ever, we always face a shortage of
Random Soldiers, 2nd Class.
Here are some new lines coming from the genius of our professional scriptwriter:
1. "It's a mobile suit!"
2. "Aaaiii!!!"
3. "That's a Gundam!"
4. "What's a Gundam doing here?"
Auditions will take place February 30th, AC 195, In the Cinq Kingdom. Cinq Vacations: Get your tan from the sun not a gun.
Finis.
Relena: I'm glad that's over with.
Student: "You're so wise, Miss Relena." * passes out * * hits floor with a thud *
Relena: Dang it! That was the 9th one!
Quatre: FAAAATHEEER!!!!
Quatre's Sister: * wakes up * Awww! Quatre, don't cry!
Director: CUUUT! * sigh * now, on to take 563…
Duo: I want to push the harsh sounding military guy off the plane! No fair! Why does Une have all the fun!
Heero: * in his distinctive monotone * You rhymed.
Duo: ^-^
You have just read the second chapter of a fic of mine!!! Wow! Thank you!!
A Sing-along second disclaimer:Gundam Wing pilots and all Heero's missions,
Round flying saucers and nuclear fission,
The bright sphere at night, that shiny round thing,
These are a few of my un-ownable things.
When the sugar's left, and the coffee's gone,
And I'm feelin' bad.
I simply remember my un-ownable things,
And then I feel even more sad.
^-^