Running to You.
Chapter Three.
Ariana opened her eyes, feeling refreshed after her rest. She rolled to her right, checking the fluorescent face of the digital clock she had beside her. It told her it was three in the morning. She sighed, and rolled onto her back. So, she was finally here. Esthar. She stretched briefly, her desire for sleep dissipated. Wryly, she remembered her first day in the city.
To tell the truth however, it hadn't been much of a day at all for her. She had been weak from her battle, and her scars were smarting. To be expected from a city of such technological prowess, the Estharians had known she was in their city from the moment she had set foot on the transportation plate that carried her to the edge of the city's boundaries.
A guard with a car had been waiting for her there, to see if he should detain the dishevelled looking girl, or let her go on with her business. He had greeted her civilly enough, and then had firmly asked for her to state her business in the 'Silent Country.'
For her part, Ariana had simply fumbled with her belongings, and then had produced her SeeD identification. SeeD weren't expected to explain anything if they handed over their ID; wilfully giving up such information was an automatic gesture of peace and allegiance. The guard had understood, and had offered to escort her to the main entrance of Esthar.
She had accepted, not wanting to face any more monsters. She had also wanted to see the sights of the city, but fell asleep during the ride.
She had awoken with a jolt when they had reached her destination. Groggily, she had gotten out of the car, when all of a sudden, she saw the full splendour of the city sprawled before her. She looked on at the tangled maze of greatness, thinking that somewhere out there, he was there. The thought brought a smile to her face.
"Excuse me," she had asked the guard politely, "could you tell me how to get to the Esthar Hotel?"
"See over there?" He had pointed at what looked like a seat hovering over a platform, from which three tubes branched out to the right, to the left and forward. "There's a control panel attached to the Transporter; just punch in where you want to go and it'll take you there." She had thanked him and had hurried to do what he had instructed, having no difficulty in entering the information. She had seated herself; enjoying the strange feeling sitting on the hovering seat gave her. The Transporter lurched sharply once, before it set off toward the hotel.
Ariana had arrived shortly at her destination; the Transporter travelling much faster than the speed at which it felt like it was travelling. She had paused for a while to admire the huge building, the finest looking hotel she had ever seen. She felt a certain tingling down her spine, and a broad, yet tired smile came to her face. She had made it. However, it was then that doubts started arising in her mind. What will he say when I tell him? Will he be pleased? Or would he just laugh it off, not caring? She suddenly felt very stupid, but she knew that there was no turning back now. Resolutely, she had entered the Esthar Hotel.
The receptionist had given her a generic hotel receptionist greeting, and she had booked her room at the SeeD level. Ariana then asked if a SeeD named Zell Dincht was present, trying her hardest not to blush or look nervous.
The receptionist didn't seem to notice her anyway, as she checked the records. "I'm sorry, but Zell Dincht had checked out for the day quite early in the morning, and is not expected to be back until quite late."
"Oh." Ariana felt both relief and disappointment flow through her. "Well…I guess I'll go and rest in my room then. May I have my keys please?"
The receptionist handed her the keys, then said, "Would you like me to tell you when he checks in again?"
Ariana shook her head. "No thank you. I'll meet with him in the morning." And with that, she had gone up to her room, taken a long hot bath, and had gone to sleep though it was only the afternoon.
Ariana sighed heavily, lying in her bed. No, it hadn't been much of a day at all yesterday, she thought. She shut her eyes forcefully, willing herself back to sleep. However, her mind refused to comply. Realising she wasn't tired anymore, she irritably pushed back her sheets, and got out of bed. She decided a little fresh air might do her good.
Softly, guided only by the dim lights that lighted the hotel at night, she made her way down the stairs, to the reception area. Silently, she walked across to the balcony on the other side. She drew the bolt and opened the doors that sealed the entrance to the balcony, feeling the sweet evening breeze encircle her, laced with the touch of the impending dawn. She stepped out, feeling the dew under her bare feet. She looked up at the sky, seeing the full moon and all the stars bestowing their light upon the sleeping city. She rested her arms on the ledge, feeling her heart fill for no reason at all. It all just looked so beautiful.
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Zell's eyes snapped open, his body drenched with sweat. Groggily, he arose to a sitting position, putting a hand to his forehead. He had had the nightmare again; the same one he had been having since he found out about how to battle Time Compression. He had dreamt of winning against Ultimecia, feeling the sweet elation of victory before realising that he was lost. A white haze had surrounded him, blinding him completely to the outside world. Panicking, he had called out for his companions, running aimlessly this way and that, trying to find them. Nobody had answered him. Then, he remembered Laguna's words…who you want to be with…he had shut his eyes, trying to visualise the person he loved; and who also loved him back. He had seen nothing but blackness in his mind. There was no one there. Tears fell from his tightly closed eyes, as he lay down on the ground, giving in to the thick haze.
Dammit! He thought angrily. Like the battle isn't enough to worry about; now I have to worry about getting home too! He forcefully pushed the covers off himself, leaping out of bed. He wouldn't be able to sleep for a while yet after the dream; that he knew. He decided to go downstairs and cool off.
He slid silently from his room to the stairway, trying not to bump into anything, while at the same time trying to figure out the dream. The message was pretty clear; if he didn't have someone to go back to, he won't make it back at all. The thought frightened him, as well as confused him. As far as he could tell, nobody else from the group was having the same anxieties. He figured that was because everyone was paired. Squall will have Rinoa, Irvine will have Selphie and vice versa. Quistis…? He pondered on the former Instructor, and then figured she'll make it home too, because so many people needed and loved her. But him? Nobody needed him; and apart from his mother, nobody loved him. He closed his eyes in agony for a moment as he thought of her; his secret love for so long. He never did have the courage to tell her, since he always thought she was far too high above him. She was kind, sweet, intelligent, as well as having a certain, almost intangible strength about her, while at the same time seeming so delicate and vulnerable. If there was anyone that he would want to wait for him after the final battle, it would be her. He mocked himself at even dreaming of that however; she was so high above him that thinking for a moment that she would even consider being his was as impossible as her being right here, at this very moment.
Zell lifted his head and looked at the balcony. He sucked in a sharp breath. She was here, right before his eyes.
She was standing out on the balcony, her tiny frame draped with a white nightgown, billowing in the breeze that also ran like gentle fingers through her hair, which was for once free of its braid, causing it to float softly on the air, fanning it behind her like a dark cloak. She stood leaning on the ledge, her face limned by the intertwined starlight and moonlight, showing her porcelain features in all their soft glory. To him, she looked like an angel that had descended from Heaven, as she stood there, gazing dreamily at the sleeping city beneath her. He felt his heart fill to his throat. She just looked so beautiful.
His heart pounding, and his head spinning, he took a step towards her without thinking, wanting unconsciously to bask in her beauty from a little nearer. He placed his foot on the next step. All of a sudden, he heard a loud "creak!" from beneath his foot.
Damn, damn, damn! He thought as he saw her twitch her head at the noise. His world went into slow motion, as he concentrated on her every move as she turned around. Her hair swept gracefully as she moved her head, the moonlight playing on it and causing almost unearthly highlights to play off the dark expanse. He saw an emotion flicker through her wide brown eyes. His heart leapt in his chest. Was that…joy that he saw?
Ariana felt her heart beating so fast she thought it would explode. She took in the image of her beloved; of his golden hair, tousled from his pillow; his warriors body draped in a large t-shirt and shorts, accentuating his muscles while making him look charmingly childlike; and his eyes, deep as the ocean, filled right now with the same emotion she saw in them when he was reading romance sagas.
Her mouth was dry, but she swallowed hard. "Hi," she said very quietly, her eyes shyly to the ground.
"H…Hi," he responded, as equally quiet as she was. Though he was just as uncomfortable as she was, he gallantly decided to take the initiative. "So…what are you doing here…Ariana?" He asked, trying to control the tremble in his voice.
Ariana's heart skipped a beat. As ever, whenever he took her name, an electric thrill ran through her body. However, she reined in her distracted senses, so she could attempt to give him a decent reply. She found that she couldn't. "I'm here because I…because I…" She swallowed, but found that she couldn't tell him why she was here. Though the look he was giving her was very encouraging, she felt like a complete idiot standing there, having travelled halfway around the world to see one person, who, though was very nice, had never until now given any sign that he cared about her.
He felt her embarrassment, and tried prompting her gently. "Did you come here to deliver another book?" He asked.
She felt a warm glow inside herself, as she understood what he was doing. He was so sweet! She shook her head nervously however, still refusing to meet his eyes.
Suddenly, however, another thought hit him; one that was like a blow to his stomach. She was here with someone else. Zell shook his head to himself inwardly, cursing himself for a fool for not realising it sooner. Of course she was! She was here on a sort of holiday with someone else. Why else should she be here? Because of him? That was ridiculous, he knew. But…who was she with? Then, he remembered the light-haired SeeD that was always hanging around the Library, asking for her. Zell remembered him with rage, jealousy and despair growing in his heart. The SeeD, whose name he didn't even know, had been smart, handsome and admired by girls everywhere in Garden. Zell chewed on his lip, despairing. Of course she'd go with someone like him. Hell, she deserved someone stable and admired like him! He nodded to himself. It all fit; that was why Ariana couldn't tell him why she was here; for all the time he had known her, he had known her to be shy. He was grateful for the fact today; he didn't want to hear it from her mouth; he didn't want to hear that she loved another.
Meanwhile, Ariana had gathered up enough courage to finally tell him what she felt for him. Heart pounding in her throat, she slowly slid her eyes upwards to meet his, expecting to still see the dreamy expression that she had seen just a few moments ago. She was taken aback then, when she saw that his eyes had turned from warm ocean to hard ice. "Zell?" she inquired, concerned. What had caused him to change his mood so quickly?
Zell shook his head, refusing sullenly to meet her eyes, or to acknowledge the lurch his heart had taken when she had said his name. "No, it's O.K., I know why you're here now."
Ariana felt her insides grow cold. "You…you do?"
"Yeah, why else would you come to Esthar?" He said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
Ariana felt despair growing inside her. She could tell he was unhappy about her being here. But, she couldn't understand why. She had thought sometimes that he won't feel the same about her, but for him to be so upset…she tried to control the tears. "I thought you'd be happy!" she exclaimed.
Zell looked at her as if she had gone insane. What in the name of the Lady was she thinking? "Happy? Happy you'd be here? I'm trying to prepare for a battle, for Hyne's sake! I don't need my mind to be more messed up than it already is, thinking about you and…you and… when I…"
But Ariana didn't let him finish what he was saying. She felt her own anger rising at his thoughtless words. "How…how dare you speak to me like that!" She hissed at him. He involuntarily took a step backwards; this was a side of her he hadn't seen. "Do you have any idea what I've gone through to get here? Of course you don't! You got here by that dragon ship, didn't you? I had to get through the Salt Flats to get here, and on my own! There was nobody there to cover for me or cure me; I had to stand alone against three monsters! Three! And why? So I can see you, you stupid thoughtless fool! I wanted to cheer you up, since I heard that you were down! And what do you do? You accuse me of playing with your head! But then, I am really such a stupid, stupid idiot," she whispered finally, "not to have known that you wouldn't see me like I see you."
Zell's head spun. "You…you came to see me?" He asked shakily. He saw her nod her head once, her tears sparkling down her cheeks. He felt her pain twist in his gut, and impulsively, he closed the space between them, and enfolded her in a tight embrace. She tried to struggle out of his grip, but he held on fast. "I'm so sorry Ariana," he whispered into her hair. "I…I thought that you were here with someone else, and I couldn't stand it…because…because…" Suddenly, he heard a muffled moan of pain from her. He released her, and then noticed something warm and sticky on his right hand. He inspected it in the pale light. Blood. Panicked, he looked at Ariana, and saw that blood had seeped through her white gown, from her left shoulder. His eyes were wide as he slowly rearranged her gown to inspect her shoulder. He hissed in pain as he saw the gashes of yesterday's battle, criss-crossing her arm and shoulder. They had opened up again; the meagre potions that she had drunk only sufficient to surface close the wounds. She looked up at him suddenly, and met his eyes briefly before he looked away, tears filling his. He called upon four Curagas to heal her, but even after that, one gash, which was the deepest and ran across the base of her neck to her shoulder, had left a scar.
Zell felt sick. She will now always carry that scar across her neck, and why? Because she travelled halfway around the world to cheer him up. He turned away from her, trying to hide his tears. He had been responsible for her pain, and he couldn't bear to look at her at this moment. He wanted to leave.
Suddenly, however, he felt a light touch on his arm. "Thank you…" she said softly. He spun around and looked at her. Her eyes were soft and shy, and seemed embarrassed for some reason. He felt his heart melt; she looked so adorable. Yet still, his guilt was heavy on him.
She saw what he was trying to say in his beautiful heaven-hued eyes; she knew he was saying sorry. She smiled up at him, a message for him in her warm eyes.
It's all right; I don't blame you.
Yet still, his mouth was down turned, his eyes still full of painful remorse.
How can't you blame me? I caused you so much pain!
Her eyes held so much emotion that he was taken aback. The tears started falling again, but the message that she gave him was still clear.
I did this by myself. Nobody forced me. And I have no regrets, because I…I love you.
She lowered her eyes yet again, her nerve spent as she finally told him what she had wanted to for so long. She felt his hand then, callused and rough as only a warrior's hand could be, yet now so unbelievably gentle as it lifted her chin so she could meet his eyes. His azure eyes were blurry with tears, but they didn't fall. Lifting his other hand, he tenderly wiped her tears away.
I love you too. I always have.
He came to stand even closer to her, and she revelled at his warmth. Bending down, his lips gently met hers as he kissed her. He felt her shock, and then her softness as she kissed him back. Her tears began to fall again, wetting his cheeks and mingling her sweetness with the salty taste of her emotion. He felt her arms fold around him tightly, and he drew her closer to him, as if they both needed each other's warmth to sustain themselves. They ended the kiss, and she rested her head on his shoulder, still locked in his embrace. However, Zell broke away, so he could see her face. The joy he could see so plainly on her features mirrored his own, and he felt his heart fill painfully.
"I love you Ariana," he told her softly, finally giving voice to his emotions, "I've loved you for so long."
"So have I," Ariana said through a sob of joy. "I've loved you for almost as long as I've known you."
Suddenly, though, the irony hit them; that they had both loved each other for so long, thinking that the other was too good for them, when the other had been thinking the same thing. They both began to laugh through their tears together, and Zell pulled her to him in a tight hug. She laughed and sobbed in joy against his chest, the warm, safe feeling he gave her permeating through all her senses. She felt him plant a kiss on her crown, and her feelings burst in her heart.
"I never want to go through that again, Zell," she said, quieting down a little.
He sobered too. "Neither do I." He said, still holding on to her. He didn't want to be alone anymore either.
They had both suffered the same way; thinking that the one that they loved didn't care about them. Unwittingly, they had hurt each other greatly, but as they held each other on that balcony as the first light of the dawn gently grew over Esthar, they both vowed the same thing within their hearts.
We will make it up to each other, no matter what.
