Running to You.
Chapter Four.
The sound as Ultimecia exploded jarred Zell to the depths of his being. He held himself tautly in his fighting stance, still ready for anything. After fighting through four different incarnations of the witch, he knew that it would be foolish to let his guard down now. However, nothing else happened. White light encircled them all, temporarily blinding them with its brilliance. Zell felt the ecstasy of victory fill him suddenly, making his head light and his heart full. He felt like screaming for joy, and before he realised what he was doing, he had, yet nobody heard, because each of them felt their own ecstasy as keenly as Zell did, and it drowned out everything else.
The brilliance of the light faded somewhat, yet still all around them was white. Zell felt his mouth go dry. A white haze. He fought down the initial feeling of panic that had invaded his senses when he realised that he was familiar with this setting. He told himself firmly that this time, he wasn't going to get lost. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and remembered Ariana.
The
sun had risen over Esthar, and the grand city was at this time just waking up
to the new day. However, overlooking
the sprawling city, on the balcony of the Esthar hotel, two people, a boy and a
girl, sat together, close, pouring their hearts out to each other as if there
was no tomorrow. They had been doing so
for the past four hours, yet they still felt like they had only scratched the
surface of understanding the other's soul. Though their bodies slumped in fatigue, in their eyes shone the pure
light of joy, as if only now had they truly awoken to life.
However, the girl's eyes were
touched with sadness as the boy finished relating a tale that obviously filled him
with fright and pain; the tale of his nightmare, and greatest fear.
"I just…I just felt so empty,
you know? It scared me so much; I mean
it was only then that I realised how…well, pointless my life had been…"
"No Zell." She said, pushed beyond endurance by the
hurt in his eyes; in his voice. "Your
life was never pointless. How could you
think that? You've made so many people
smile, and laugh…"
"Ariana, I was annoying
them." He looked away, trying to mask
the hurt he had felt for so long. "No matter
how hard I tried to make friends, I just ended up annoying everybody. I've never made anyone feel happy…" He said, bitterness in his voice.
She put her hand on his. It was ice cold. She squeezed it tight, praying that her warmth will reach him. "You've made me happy." She said quietly. "More happy then I've ever been." She looked away from him then, momentarily lost in her own
thoughts. "I guess I think like you
Zell. I've always thought that my life
was cheap compared to so many others, just another insignificant pawn, always
getting in the way of those more important. I've always been looking to fill that…that empty space inside. And then I met you." She focused back on him, and smiled when she
saw him blush slightly. "When I saw
you, I felt the empty space fill up a bit. Then when I got to know you a bit, it filled up a little more. And now," she said, her voice trembling a
bit from the effort of holding down tears, "the emptiness is gone." She looked at him full in the eyes now, releasing
the tears held in check for too long. "I've been complete for the fist time in my life, Zell; do you think I'd
give it up now?" She squeezed his hand
tighter, almost as if she wanted to join both of them forever. "I'll wait for you Zell; I'll be calling out
for you. I promise."
Zell felt his heart fill to the
limit, and knew that inside of him the emptiness had finally disappeared for
him too. He put his arm around her, and
drew her close to his heart, as she wept warm tears upon it. "Thank you." He whispered into her hair. "Ariana, thank you so much. I'll
be looking for you, and I'll find you. I promise."
I'll find you. I promise.
Suddenly, Zell was jolted out of his reverie as he heard Irvine's excited voice. "Is it over?" He asked eagerly. "Let's go back! Let's go back to our time!"
Zell was less than happy at having his concentration ruined, especially since the panic seemed to now push at the edge of his awareness again. He seriously wanted to kick Irvine at that moment. "Shut up! Just calm down and think where we have to go." He said, however it was more than half to himself.
Zell felt the panic attacking him mercilessly; trying to worm it's way into his senses. He closed his eyes again, and tried to visualise Ariana again, imagining her standing…somewhere, anywhere, waiting for him, her arms outstretched and welcoming. He smiled as he saw her in his mind's eye; wearing her Garden uniform, smiling, as he had seen her so many times; yet this time, her smile held something new; something that made his heart lurch with happiness.
He was so intent on his imagining that he heard Selphie's voice as only a faint echo. "Careful guys, don't pick the wrong time!"
He opened his eyes then, half expecting Ariana to be there in front of him. She wasn't; there was only the thick white haze. He noticed as well that his companions had separated from him; he was now alone. Yet this time, he didn't worry so much. He knew where he had to go, and whom he had to meet. He had reached into his mind and heart, looking for love, and this time, he had found it.
He felt Quistis' voice brush on the edge of his awareness. "Whatever you do, don't fall into a time warp!"
Time. So very important. He realised again how close he had come to losing his chance at life. She had shown up just in time, like a guardian angel. He knew, even if he died now, it wouldn't be so bitter for him; he had finally tasted what life was really about. But I need to get home, so I can wrap my arms around her and thank her forever and ever for giving me this gift, he thought.
Resolutely, he nodded to himself. Ariana, I will find you, no matter what.
___________________________________________
Ariana felt her senses coming back to her. Abruptly, she fell to her knees, landing on soft carpet. She looked around, trying to dispel her confusion. She was in Balamb Garden, in the library. She put a hand to her forehead, massaging it as she reviewed what she remembered.
Flying in the Ragnarok was an experience that was unlike any other. She had savoured every moment she had been on the beautiful dragon ship, and the sheer joy and pleasure had been compounded by the fact that the one she loved was seated right next to her.
However, her joy had ended far too suddenly as they reached Fisherman's Horizon, and Garden. He was going to leave her there, and go on to fight for all creation, as his fate had decreed.
Zell, and only Zell, had walked with her to Garden, trying to stretch their allotted time together a bit more. They were silent as they walked through the small city, but they felt no compulsion to fill the silence, as simply being in each other's company was comfort enough for them.
When they arrived at the Garden's entrance, however, they did experience a certain awkwardness. They didn't know how to say goodbye to each other, and they didn't want to.
Both of them stood there silently for a while. Ariana sighed deeply, and Zell noticed. "Ariana, what's wrong?"
She gave him a small, sad smile. "You're going into battle after you leave here, and you're worried about me?"
Zell blushed slightly. "But what is wrong Ariana?" He asked her, serious again.
"Nothing…it's just that, well, all this time, we've lived in uncertainty, and now, when we have something real, we have to lose it again…"
"But only for a little while." Zell answered quickly. "I'll…come back, I promise." He glanced at her fiercely. "No matter what it takes!"
She smiled at him, tears in her eyes. She rushed forward and hugged him, and he held her tight. "Take care of yourself, Ariana, please?" He whispered. She nodded against his chest.
He broke away gently after a while. "Ariana, I have to go. Remember that…I mean, to look after yourself." And with that, he took off down the platform walkways that lead back to the Ragnarok.
Ariana watched him, the words she had kept inside now burning to get out. Finally, she sighed, and threw caution to the wind. She didn't care if all of Garden heard; all she cared about now was him. "Zell!" She yelled, before he had disappeared around a corner.
He heard her voice, and turned around quickly. "Yeah Ariana?" He cried back.
"I…I love you!" She shouted; ignoring the looks she was receiving from the citizens of FH, as well as the burning sensation of her blush. "Remember that!"
Zell felt his heart soar. He didn't even notice the FH citizens giving him perplexed looks as he threw both his arms in the air.
"I will! I love you too!" It was then that he saw the people. He gave them a brief glare, before giving Ariana a last wave and grin, then ran off down to the Ragnarok.
She watched him weave his way across Fisherman's Horizon for a while, tears streaming gently down her cheeks, until he was out of her sight. She wiped her face, smiling wryly as she did so. She had cried altogether too much in these two days. But, she thought, I've never been happier in my whole life. She sighed and made to enter Garden. However, unconsciously, her eyes went to the sky, perfectly blue and cloudless. At that exact moment, she saw the Ragnarok gliding gracefully through the air. In the moment before the sonic boom that rocked every citizen of FH's senses, she had smiled up into the sky, and had once again made that promise to the love she knew was aboard the magnificent ship.
Zell, I'll be calling for you. I promise.
That was two days ago, she thought to herself. What have I been doing since then? She remembered; she had been working
non-stop at the Library. But why had
she fallen to the floor? Suddenly, as
her senses began to clear, she noticed the unnatural silence that surrounded
her. Garden was always awake by this
time…what time was it anyway? She
thought, checking her watch. It was
five past one in the afternoon. She
raised an eyebrow at that; the light was too translucent for the time to be in
the afternoon; she also felt like she had just woken up. Then, she noticed the date in the corner of
her watch face. She sucked in a sharp
breath. The watch told her that it had
been a full six days since she had last
seen Zell. She sprang to her feet,
upsetting the dust that had accumulated on her. She took in the sight before her, covering her mouth in horror
and confusion.
She saw people in the
Library, but they weren't moving. They were
frozen into oblivious poses, as if they had been going about their own
business, when suddenly Time had stopped. That's probably exactly what happened, she thought to herself,
shivering. She had heard all about
Ultimecia's fearsome powers from Zell. The final battle had probably upset time, and upset it enough that it
finally just stopped. But why had she
been released?
Suddenly, she felt an
awareness of something on the edge of her thoughts. She closed her eyes, and tried to centre her concentration to the
awareness.
She felt a voice, soft as
a summer breeze, trying to contact her. She concentrated harder, until she could faintly hear what the voice was
saying.
"Aaa…riii…aaa..naaa…" The sounds swirled around in her mind very
faintly. She squeezed her eyes tighter
together and poured all her being into concentrating on the voice.
"Aaa…riii…aaa…naaa…Aaariii…aanaa…Ariana! Ariana!"
"Zell!" She exclaimed, her eyes flying open. Without thinking, she began to run as fast
as she could, out of the library, into the main walkway, ignoring the mass of
students and faculty in their suspended states. She turned into the Quad, not breaking speed, however a part of
her mind questioned the action; wasn't the way out on the second floor? The rest of her mind disregarded that part
as she ran down the stairs and across the courtyard, and finally to the
exit. She could see an unnatural white
light emanating from the outside. She showed no sign of caring however, as she
ran full speed out of Balamb Garden.
She was out of Garden
completely now; but instead of falling into the sea, she found herself running
on firm ground. She had no idea where
she was though. The white haze covered
everything; she could hardly see her limbs. She didn't stop running however. Her lungs were burning, and her legs felt like they were on fire, but
she kept running. There was only one
thought in her mind; I have to find Zell.
Suddenly though, her
compulsion for running seemed to dissipate, and she slowed, and finally
stopped. She stood there for a while,
panting, as the full effect of pushing herself so hard started to make itself
felt. She looked around; hoping
fervently to something, or someone, appear out of the thick haze. She couldn't see anything. She felt the panic creeping up on her, as
her mind perversely began to list all the things that could have happened to
Zell. Maybe he gave up on her, or maybe
he got lost, or maybe he's already…with an anguished cry, she fell to the ground,
tears spilling out of her eyes. She
huddled on the ground, shivering with grief, but she wasn't beaten yet. Concentrating so hard she threatened to give
herself a stress headache, she called out silently to everyplace, desperately
searching for her love.
Zell, where are you? Please, please be all right! Answer me Zell, please!
_______________________________
Zell felt as if he had
been walking in this desolation his whole life. He trudged along, not knowing where he was going, and dangerously
close to not caring. He was just so tired. However, he didn't give up, because even
though his fatigue and his confusion were very close to sinking him in despair,
there was one thought, one bright spark of hope that kept him going. Ariana. He was doing this for her. He
was also depending on her to call him back. He had been thinking of her almost non-stop as he trudged through the
white haze that was as frightening as darkness. Why hasn't she called for me yet? He wondered, his mind getting
drowsy. He was vulnerable now, and a
voice from inside, the voice of his uncertainty, answered back.
Because she has forgotten
you. You never were good enough for
her; remember how awfully you treated her at Esthar? And the poor girl just came to cheer you up. She carries a scar for you now. What do you carry for her? Is there anything that you can offer her
that is worth anything? Can you give
her respect, glory or any of those other things that heroes are supposed to
give the ones they love; that Squall gives to Rinoa or Irvine gives to Selphie? You're not that type, are you, and Ariana
has finally seen that. She's seen that,
and she's forgotten you. Lie down and
die, as you were supposed to; you served your purpose as just an appendage for
this battle, and you are no longer needed. Let Ariana be happy with someone else; someone that will able to give
her all that she deserves; you are unworthy of her…
"Noooooooo!" He screamed, inwardly as well as vocally, the force
of both his cries of anguish vibrating through all the unseen desolation that
surrounded him. He fell to the ground,
intending to fulfil his nightmare now, and free Ariana of one such as him; just
a second grade fighter that could never give her what she deserved.
______________________________
"Noooooooo!" Ariana felt her whole being jolt at the scream she
felt inside her mind. Then her insides
grew cold as she realised who the voice belonged to. Zell. Resolutely, Ariana
arose, and pushed away her panic and apprehension for him, and concentrated on
his voice, and where it was coming from. She walked as fast as she could in what seemed like a random
direction. She had a feeling that time
was of the essence for this; his voice had sounded so…desolate. She wondered what could have made Zell
despair so. She remembered then; she
had only just been released from the effects of Time Compression, and Zell
might have been wandering in this wasteland for Hyne knows for how long,
waiting for her to call for him. She
felt so much anger at herself as she realised this, and so much
self-loathing. However, she knew that
she couldn't give into her despair yet.
"Zell!" She called out as loudly as she could,
praying that he could hear her. She
broke into a run again, hoping it was towards Zell that she was sprinting.
Zell jolted as he heard her voice, a voice he was sure he'd
never hear again. A wild surge of joy
raced through his body as he thought, She came for me. She really did come for me! Hastily, he
arose, and following her voice, broke into a run.
Ariana stopped for a while, trying to catch her breath. He hadn't called back to her. She called for him again; her voice rough and grating from lack of breath and the force of her voice as she practically screamed his name. "Zell! Zell! Where are you? Can you here me?" Yet still, no one answered. What if…what if I was too late? The despair that she had been fighting off so desperately began to set in. I promised him…and I broke it. He was all alone when he…when he…and it's all my fault…
Suddenly, however, she heard
a faint sound from behind her. Turning
around, she saw a figure emerging slowly from the fog, running. All at once, she recognised him. It can't be…is my mind playing tricks
on me again? But then he heard his voice; he was calling her name at the top of his
lungs. It's him! Her mind
shrieked joyfully, as she let the tears fall and began to run towards him.
He saw her rushing towards
him, and her expression of joy through her tears. He felt like crying himself. She had come through for him; even though he was a useless fool…suddenly
he stopped. Ariana didn't notice
however; as she practically leapt into his arms, wrapping her own so tightly
around him he thought she wanted to squeeze all the air from him. She was sobbing hard against his chest, and
speaking fast and disjointedly.
"I…I thought you were…and
I was so scared…I wanted to find you so badly…and when I heard your voice I
just knew that…but then you came here…I felt so happy…I couldn't believe it…but
it was true and I was so happy and relieved and…"
She paused to look up at
him, the tears still streaming out of her eyes. "I love you Zell, and I never want to go through that again."
She felt him cringe as she
said those words. "Zell, what's the
matter?"
He held her tightly
against him. "Nothing, it's just,
well…why did you take so long in calling for me?"
She bowed her head. "I'm so sorry Zell; we were all in suspended
animation because of Time Compression. I just got released. I'm so, so
sorry; I would have been here sooner if I could've."
He nodded slowly, and
tried to swallow. What he was planning
to say was not going to be easy. "So,
you didn't forget me?"
She broke from his
embrace, shocked beyond words. "Why…Of
course not, Zell! How could I forget
you?"
"Well…" Oh great
Hyne, I don't want to say this! He thought to himself, "…maybe you should."
Ariana felt many things,
shock, horror, despair and blinding rage. However, her feeling of relief at seeing him well encompassed them
all. It was only because of that, and that
she truly loved him more than anything, that she was able to stop herself from
ripping him apart for his insensitivity. "Why do you say that?" She
whispered in a strained voice.
Zell felt the words he had
heard in his mind come back to him again. 'Because…well, look at me! I'm
only a second rate fighter; I can't even get home by myself! I had to have you risk yourself so you could
come and save me! You deserve someone
so much better than me, Ariana; someone who will come and save you, and look after you, and could gain you respect…"
Ariana had heard
enough. "Stop it Zell!" She exclaimed. "We've been through this; I don't care what anyone says, to me
you are one of the best people I have ever met. You're kind, and sweet, and gentle, and passionate, and a
wonderful fighter that has just helped to save the world! Does that sound like someone unworthy of
me? In fact," she said quietly, "that
sounds like someone far too high for just a simple librarian girl, like me."
Zell looked at her
incredulously. "You're kidding,
right? You still don't know how special
you are? You've been able to come
through for me twice already! You saved
my life, Ariana; and you a girl whose so bright, and kind, and sweet, and
intelligent! I love you Ariana, and I'm
so thankful that you even notice me!"
Ariana couldn't help but
smile at that, even though her heart weighed down because of his
self-loathing. "Listen to me, Zell; I
feel exactly the same way you do. I love you so much, and I never want to even
come close to losing you, do you understand?"
Zell smiled sheepishly at
her and nodded his head, his joy rising up into his throat, forcing tears from
his eyes.
Ariana found herself in
the same predicament, however through the tears, she raised her arms and smiled. "Now what are you standing there staring at
me for? Come, take me in your arms, and
hold me tight!" She said, her voice
choking on her tears, yet still full of humour.
Grinning, laughing, and
crying at the same time, Zell pulled her into his arms and held her as tightly
as he possibly could, holding her head close to his heart. She cuddled up to him, his heartbeat ringing
in her ears as she sobbed quietly for sheer joy. They had found each other after all, and now they were destined
never to lose each other again.
All of a sudden, a long
way from where they were standing, the sky suddenly split apart, and a pillar
of pure light spilled from the tear, alighting at an exact spot on the
earth. It then started to expand,
destroying the clouds above and the haze, and transforming the ground below
into a beautiful field of sweet smelling flowers, their petals floating
gracefully in the new breeze.
Zell and Ariana stood
transfixed in each others arms as the light rushed towards them. As the light passed over them, both of them
had a strange feeling of benediction, as if the heavens had blessed their
union, and were happy that they had finally found each other. They felt the joy seep through every fibre
of their existence as they looked out into the new paradise that had been
created by heaven's light.
As they stood there breathing in the sweet, perfumed air and
savouring the sheer joy of being together, the Garden flew overhead, ruffling
them with the breeze that it created. It looked so beautiful as it travelled to where the light had
originated.
Zell looked down at
Ariana, his features soft with the love he felt for her, his eyes warmer than
the sky above. "Let's go home," he said
to her, his voice gentle. She nodded
happily, and smiled up at him, her own features mirroring her feeling as his
had.
Throwing his arm across
her shoulders and drawing her close, they began to walk to Garden, together.
