Jessie2

Zechs Wars: Noin Strikes back

Jessie walked into the ML and dropped a bag of mini bite candy bars on the table, falling into the chair behind her. Squally walked out of the back room and over to wear Jessie was, already shoving candy down her throat. "What's with all the candy?" she asked, keeping her limbs close to her body. The way Jessie was eating, it was just to be safe.
"Bad day," she mumbled into between fistfuls.
"Uh, like your candy then?"
"No," she said shortly. "I hate candy. It's disgusting."
"Then why are you eating it?" Squally grabbed a Three Musketeers and went to sit in a chair across the table. Jessie stopped eating.
"I have no idea. But throwing up chocolate seems like it would make the day better." Jessie dropped the candy and pushed the bag away from her. "Where's CZ?"
"Oh, he went out awhile ago. He wanted to buy more pants." Jessie slapped her forehead and suddenly got an idea.
"Hey, he's been sleeping in the room at the end of the hall, right?" she asked, grabbing three Snickers and a few Milky Ways.
"yeah, I just finished cleaning it for him," Squally said absently, looking around the room for her favorite bishie.
"great!" Jessie trotted down the hall and was gone for several minutes. When she finally came back, her hands were full of the candy wrappers. Now Squally noticed.
"What did you just do?"
"Nothing," Jessie replied innocently.
"Just how is he suppose to forgive you if you keep playing tricks on him? I think your evil enough without him around!"
"Nah! It's just harmless fun! He doesn't mind - much - okay, maybe a little. Okay okay, he'll probably try to kill me after he realizes it's just chocolate but hey, it's made my day perk up!!" Squally rolled her eyes. A bunch of crazy weird people at this ML.
"You know, you can't keep treating him like crap. He's going to find someone else, ya know." Jessie's grinned tried grim and her eyes welled up with tears, yet again, as was her way of getting things.
"Don't say that! No! You're wrong." she sniffled.
"Whatever," Squally breathed. Jessie glared at her evilly then grabbed some more candy to go spread mischief to all those at the mail list. But first, she would have to get ChibiUsa back here.
**
Jessie wandered around outside, looking for something to do. She couldn't find ChibiUsa anywhere! "ChibiUsa!" she called, her hands around her mouth like a megaphone. "CHIBIUSA!!!! GET OVER HERE YOU PINK HAIRED RAT!" The
familiar burst of pink and purple hearts reflected off the beaming sun, blinding Jessie like the first time the pink haired six year old appeared (yah baby! Description good for you!).
"Are you my mother?" Jessie looked at her dubiously. "Er, I mean, have you seen my mother?" she corrected.
"Not sense I threw her at Akira. . . why, hasn't she found her way home yet?" Jessie asked airily, trying to blink sight back into her eyes.
"No, not yet. But she gets lost a lot so Daddy and I aren't worried yet." Jessie cleared her throat and handed ChibiUsa the candy in her arms. "For me??" she asked excitedly.
"No, for trouble making," Jessie explained, pulling her sunglasses out of her back pocket and putting them on. Apparently, someone, most likely Chibi, thought it would be cute to deck out her mini school uniform in rhinestones. The sparkles
seemed to go straight for Jessi's eyes. Stupid little kids, Jessie thought, glaring from behind her glasses.
"Oh! Good!!" Chibi stuffed the chocolates into her shirt pocket so that there was one odd shaped lump just below her shoulder. Jessie took back some of the candy after much arguing. "So, what are we going to do with it?" Jessie frowned.
"I'm not sure yet. But we can't pick on Zechs anymore today. I've already put five candy bars in his bed for good melting. If he sleeps in his pants or if he comes home drunk, he's going to be either scared shitless" Chibi frowned "or mad
as hell" Chibi's frown deepened "or both."
"Could you not say bad words?" Jessie started walking in the direction of the mall, sure they could at least do enough to be
banned permentantly.
"I could but I'm not gonna." Chibi ran after her, Jessi's stride covering more distance than her own.
**
"Why couldn't we drive?" Chibi asked, hanging onto Jessi's arm. They were crossing the street.
"Cause I don't have my licensee yet." Jessie immediately pulled her arm out of Chibi's reach as soon as they touched the sidewalk. "We're here!"
"I'm hungry!" Chibi whined.
"Then eat a candy bar" Jessie snapped.
"Their all mushy and gross!" she whined back
"Augh. I hate little kids. Fine, we'll go to the food court but you only get one thing!"
"ONE THING??" Chibi cried.
"you heard me."
**
As it turned out, the rat out smarted her. Chibi's one thing happened to be the menu at Burger King.
"It's ONE THING," Chibi declared when Jessie protested. She refused to be taken by a girl younger than her cat.
"How much for the menu?" Jessie asked the middle wager. He started adding up all the food on the menu. "No, stop. I asked how much for the MENU. Not the food on the menu." He stared at her, not seeming to understand.
"Uh, I think I need to get the manager," he squeaked out, wide eyed.
"Then go." Chibi tugged on her arm.
"NOOOOO! I don't want the menu!"
"You just said you wanted the menu."
"I meant the things on the menu."
"Ah, things. You can only have ONE thing! What is it?"
"The MENUUUUUU" she squealed, still fighting to get her way.
"Well, okay. Once the nice boy comes back with the manager, we'll be able to buy you the menu."
"NOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo," she whined, threatening a tantrum. Jessie didn't notice. She was staring dumbfounded at a table in the middle of the court. "Hey! Where are you going?" Chibi asked as Jessie moved away from the counter.
"Okay! I'll get one thing! Ice cream! I'll take ice cream! Well, maybe not, I don't really like ice cream. . .," Chibi rambled on to herself while Jessie got farther and farther away from the counter.
"What the hell. . . ?" she stopped right next to the table, staring at Zechs and Noin talking to each other.
"How ya been Zechs?" Noin asked her normal dreamy tone when she talked to him, taking no notice of the red faced girl glaring at her. Zechs got a pained look on his face.
"Pretty good," he said in a husky voice. "And you Noin?"
"Ah, you're lying," she teased. "You never could keep a secret from me."
"HEY! STOP FLIRTING WITH MY CONSCIENCE, HO!" Jessie screamed at the top of her lungs, attracting stares from everyone in the food court except the couple in front of her.
"No Noin, really, I've been fine," he encouraged.
"You'll tell me when you're ready," she assured him, smiling sweetly.
"Going-to-kill-her" Jessie promised herself, her hands already moving to choke the blue haired OZ Special.
"How about we get you some pants?" Noin asked, grabbing Zechs' hand and pulling him away from the table. Jessi's stared at the back of her head with pure rage.
"I get pants with Zechs. Not some skanky bitch!" She followed them, jumping on their enjoined hands, trying to break them apart. "Let go! letgoletgoletgo!" They seemed in a world all their own. Jessie growled, trying to come up with ways to get Noin away from HER Zechs. Just then, someone jerked her off of their hands and away from them. Jessie spun around, ready to murder.
Akira grinned at her. "Tell me where my llamas are and I can get rid of her," she sang.
"Akira," Jessie growled, as if it weren't already obvious.
"Do I need to say duh?" Jessi's face melted into a look of sadness, like someone just ripped out her heart.
"Thanks a lot! Just cause you can't live without llamas, you've sabotaged my relationship with CZ!" she yelled, lashing out at
anything.
"I could get Noin to leave him alone," she declared, not happy with all the crying Jessie had been doing.
"I'd like to see you try!" she challenged.
"Not. A. Problem." she said confidently, strolling over to the couple. "Hey Noin. Noin. Noin? Ni-on?" she sang. "NOIN??? HEY HEY HEY!" Noin didn't hear her. "WTF??"
"I SOOOOOOO told you!" Jessie pouted.
Akira tapped her chin thoughtfully, her silvery eyes clouding over a moment. Pulling out her Scythe from no where, she jumped on it and whistled loudly for someone. Lucky for her, since she was floating in the air, she didn't get wet as water started to fill the restaurant.
After an unnecessary Anti-Riona Bishoujo Sailor Senshi Power Ranger Long Unnecessary Henshin like laser light show, smoke rolled around the room, around the wet Jessie, and the light darkened to a single beam. The beam fell upon a silver hair man as he stumbled out in a tight leather dress, smiling to everyone.
"HELLO!" He sang, then turned to hold out a hand to his friend, a strawberry blonde man dressed in tight black vinyl pants and fishnet shirt. Smirking, he bowed mockingly to Jessie and blew Raspberries at Akira, then purred, "this is Ruffie, my close and very 'special' friend."
Rufus winked at the girl, then wiggled his tongue at the girl, exposing the barbell in it. Running a hand through his hair, he grabbed Sephiroth and pulled him into a passionate kiss, and whispered, "which one is the one your training to take over the world again?"
Pointing at the SD version of Akira, his lover replied, "Akira. She is in her SD form, though... Throwing a fit until she gets back her llamas..."
Rufus laughed, playfully smirking at Akira, he bit Sephiroth's ear and tugged softly. Letting go, he grinned and snarled at Sephiroth playfully, "say my name... same my real name, bitch!"
Sephiroth turned bright red, before announcing a little loudly, "Rufus, my love..." Clearing his throat and facing a annoyed Akira, he inquired, "how may I be of service?"
"Noin isn't listening to me... but I can't remember WHY! So, since you came up with the plan- why won't she listen to me?" Akira demanded, giggling as Rufus gave her the once over then, grinned evilly as he noticed the jealous looks Sephiroth sent his way.
Smacking Akira upside her silver hair head, the beautiful Bishonen cross-dresser sighed. "Easily. Because the spell I casted on them can only be broken until Jessie takes you to your llamas... Or else they will stuck in their love struck world where you two can't EVER separate them!"
Turning back to Jessie, she hissed, "Um, so that means, give me back my llamas or else you'll NEVER TALK TO ZECHS AGAIN! MAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Stunned, Jessie broke into tears, "not my... CZ... ANYTHING but him... oh noOooOOoo!" Stopping for a moment, Jessie thought the melted Candy bars in his bed might break the spell for a moment... until she saw CZ kissing CN's cheek in thanks for picking out a great pair of Wranglers.
Rufus laughed evilly, "most likely your pretty blonde conscious will move out to move with CN within several hours, too!"
Sick at the thought, Jessie sat on the bench and thought. What was she to do to save her CZ for herself? Could she live without him for the rest of her life- most likely, but she still didn't want to.
The trio leered at Jessie and Chibiusa in a VERY Hojo-like manner. Chuckling evilly, the trio smirked and grabbed the pink hair rat and they sang, "and we'll make Chibiusa your new EVIL conscious, too... Imagine- Sailormoon as your good and this pink rat as your evil one!"
During this all, however, Sephiroth was proud his evil protege was finally starting show what an evil Diva she would become... she would succeed where he, Ultimeca, ExDeath, Kefka, Jenova, and everyone failed... yes, this was a joyful day for the bad guys.

As for Noin- she was happy. Shopping for pants with the man she loved was the most perfect thing in the world- well, besides her thoughts of licking off chocolate off him, but that was beside the point. She was with ZECHS, SHOPPING, and he KISSED her cheek! A dream come true!
Turning to Zechs, Noin's eyes became large and starry like starring at him for a moment, before speaking, "you know, Lt. Zechs, I missed you! I miss cooking and cleaning for you... not to mention blowing up the enemy with you! How has life been treating you?"
Zechs blushed softly, chuckling softly, he replied, "just call me CZ, everyone else does... I missed you, too, Noin... Life has been fairly... okay to me... Could get better."
Taking his hands in hers, Noin stared even more intently at the Blonde pilot, before announcing, "CZ, will you marry me?"
Electric blue eyes widening in shock, surprise, and pleasure, he murmured, "of course, Noin... I've always loved you..." With those words he kissed her cheek.

Jessi growled to herself, twirling a strand of her wet, soggy hair around her finger. Not only had she just been forced to come into contact with water, not only had her hair been completely screwed over in the process, not only that, oh no, she just found out that she couldn't get CZ back without telling Akira the location of the llamas. It's not that she actually like the disgusting, filthy things in the first place, it was really just the principle of the thing!
"Okay," she yelled unnecessarily loud. "That's it! I don't care what you do! I'm going to fix this myself and if that involves maiming, killing and the all around destruction of the world, then so be it because nothing, and I mean NOTHING is making me
give into your silly little threats! Go ahead, make ChibiUsa my evil conscience! I'd like to see that! I've already killed off my good side, why not the bad side, ne??"
Chibi squeaked, struggling in Seph's and Akira's hold, shaking her head. "So go ahead and make my day! You
think you can conquer a world with two half rates that were both killed?? Being bishounen doesn't automatcally mean you CAN rule the world, Sephy, dear. I think Cloud proved that when he kicked your ass around the globe a few times, eh? But
really, I do feel sorry for you. After all, your father IS Hojo and I suppose I should pity you, trying to follow in his deranged footsteps with this spell you cast on my CZ. I should. . . but I don't, you llama raping, cow molesting, hygienically
deficient, son of a goat! You or your extremly ugly, STD ridden, whore of a lover." Sephy and Rufus glared menacingly at her while Akira repeated the words 'llama raping.'
Fuming, Jessi unwittingly powered up to DS, drying herself in the process. "NOW! IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOT A CONSCIENCE TO SAVE! Come on Chibi," DS snapped her fingers, making the girl disappear from the trios grasped and reappear next to her. "We have to go get Washuu. Anything that
half wit can create must be just as easy for the world's genius to decreate."
DS stalked over to Nion and CZ staring dreamingly at each other. "Chibi, cover your ears," DS warned. Chibi did as she was told and looked around her with a newfound sense of paranoia caused from being in the trios clutches. "Nion," she said
sweetly. "Nion dear, I think you and CZ make a beautiful couple. You can have him! You'll be perfect together!" Nion finally acknowledged her.
"Really? You don't mind that I'm thinking about licking chocolate off his naked body as we speak?" Nion asked hopefully.
DS's smile widened. "Why would I mind???" her voice turning viscious. "Listen, Slutbag, I really don't know what you're playing at and frankly, I could care less but if you so much as get one inch closer to my dear CZ, I will be forced to severe any
body part touching his godly bishounenness. Do we understand each other?" Nion's face dropped then tightened in anger.
"You think you can talk to me like that?? I am Lt. Luzercia Nion, graduated second in my school and became a leader for the OZ specials. I could kill you a hundred ways with my pinky. You're just going to have to get used to Zechs and I being
together because we're getting married!"
DS's face drew back, her fangs showing. "Impressive title, Slutbag. If you think titles and idle threats scary me, you've got another thing coming. You've been flirting with my conscience which is dangerous as it is. It's even worse since I DO
care and fiercely protect them from any harm caused outside my doing. To me, you're a cancer and if I could
get my hands on one, I would drop an atom bomb right on your head. Unfortunately, all the government offices have my picture now and they'll shoot me dead if I get close to one. I'm only warning you Lt. Stay away from CZ or suffer the
ultimate in penalties." She laughed. "oh, and Nion dear, if you ever DO make it to the wedding day, I suggest you
make it a joint ceremony."
"Why?" Nion spat. "You marrying your ego?"
"no, I was thinking more along the lines of your funeral." DS glared coldy at her then grabbed Chibi's hand and flipped backwards, disappearing into her portal.
**
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIX IT??" Washuu cringed, a highly urregular thing when she was talking to her rival.
"It's just that. This is so below me, I can't figure it out. The spell is so simple, it's almost like it's a cheesy love potion based
of all those teen movies from the 80's." Washuu smiled. "This is hardly worth the time of my genuis!"
"Don't (edit) with me today, Washuu," Jessi growled, recieving an angered look from Chibi. Jessi begrudingly called for help from her greatest scientific rival for the second time in her life, twice too many in her opinion. Washuu already had a lock on her lab's dimension from the pervious time when she accidently split Dilandui and Celena into two different people but in the opposite bodies. But the same was for her and today, they were in Washuu's lab, surrounded by glowing test tubes and bubbling mixtures. The computer beeped wildly every ten minutes and Washuu habitally went to check the data and report that it was just as stumped as they were.
Jessi sighed and forced herself to concentrate. "So, basically, you're telling me this spell, be it taken in orally or just cast, seems to have been made from a children's My First Spell Book?"
"That's about it." Washuu paused. "Why don't you just show her where the llamas are?" Jessi slammed her fist onto the lab table, shaking the glass tubes and wire holders. Washuu glared and quickly set about checking her experiments, making
sure she didn't effect anything.
"It's the principle, damnit! Besides, there's no proof that they'll give him back anyway. Akira is training to take over the world. Training, I have no idea why, with Sephiroth. She'll never do it purely because I would never let her. I'm
contending for world domination too. And I'm a step ahead cause I don't give a merde arbré about the world and
I've got enough crap to back me."
"Like the greatest genius of the world!" Washuu declared.
"And you would help me rule the world, why now?" Jessi asked, staring at her disbelievingly.
"Because . . . you could never do it without me!" Washuu announced. "That and I want to be a trusted scientist so I can slowly overtake your throne while you're too busy fighting off attacks from this Akira girl."
"Remind me to have you beheaded as soon as I conquer it." Jessi growled. "OKAY! Back to the problem at hand! Washuu, what's your conclusion?" Washuu looked defeated. In all their years as competitors, she had never seen the self
proclaimed greatest genuis look like victory was out of her reach.
"It's confused the computer, it's below me . . . hey, why don't you try to figure it out?" Jessi glared.
"Not funny." Jessi dropped her head to the table. "I suppose I could try. But let's move to my lab. Different time vortex, it'll give us more time to think of something." Washuu nodded in agreement and did the finally readings on her tests. Jessi
grabbed Chibi and took her to her lab universe, Washuu following closely behind.
**
"Okay, Washuu, I'm about to call us idiots." Three months into the project, which came to all of three minutes in earth time, Jessi, Chibi and Washuu were eating Chinese food created in Washuu's food generator. Washuu stopped eating and stared at her.
"What did you figure out?" Jessi shook her head then indicated to Chibi sitting in front of the experiment, mixing potions and grinning. "What's so special about that? She's been doing it for hours."
"That's the point. you did say it was below your level, both our levels. So below, we didn't even think about the girl with the airhead mom," Washuu's eyes lit up.
"OF COURSE! ChibiUsa's been trying to solve it! It's a six year olds kind of spell!!" Chibi sniffed her blue concoction and poured it into a spray bottle of perfume. Then she followed suit with another test tube glowing bright green. "I think-"
"-she's got it." Jessi and Washuu exchanged looks and then ran over to her, forgetting all lab saftey rules. "Chibi!" Chibi sprayed her and Washuu with the bright green liquid.
Suddenly, Jessi got the irresistible urge to tell Washuu that she loved her hair. "Washuu, I-" she blushed. Washuu blushed too. Chibi giggled than sprayed them with the blue.
Jessi shook her head and laughed. "THAT'S IT!"
"It is!!" Washuu chorused.
"Chibi's figured it out!!" They cried together, dancing around in cirlces. "This is perfect!" Jessi yelled. "I can't believe we wasted three months on this!! It was so obvious! With this stuff and CZ and CN's natural affection towards the other, of course
their stuck in their own world!!" Jessi clapped her hands, delighted.
"I'm out of here! Three months here may only be fifteen minutes in my lab but I've got observations to make." Washuu stretched and hopped through the mirror that connected their labs.
"Thanks for your help! Pleasure working for you!" Jessi and Chibi called after her.
"As it should be," her muffled, slow voice returned, the mirror loosing it's picture of Washuu's lab and returning to it's regular, black reflection of the wall less lab.
"Okay Chibi, let's go test this on," her eyes suddenly closed to evil slits and from her mouth, a sinister, howling laugh came. "Oh THIS will be good!!" she cried with delight, pushing the green liquid into Chibi's hand and bending down to
whisper the plan into her ear.

**
Jessi and Chibi reappeared in the mall, a mere twenty minutes seemed to have left. But to Chibi and Jessi, it was like rediscovering a world lost to them for an eternity. The trio and the couple were still where they were before DS made her angered disappearance. Now, she was a whole lot calmer and regretting a little of what she told Nion. The trio
was caught of guard when Chibi reappeared in front of them. "This is for threatening me!" Chibi sprayed Akira and Rufus with the bright green liquid dubbed Chibi's #9 by Jessi.
Instantly, Akira and Rufus were stuck in a passionate liplock with Sephy's eyes nearly falling out of his head. Chibi then smiled and kicked Sephy in the shin. "And that's for acting like a big poopie head!" she squealed, running out of the mall like
she had been told to.
Jessi was busy with her part of the plan whilst this was happening. Taking different rifts back, Chibi landed in front of Akira's group but Jessi appeared next to Nion. She sighed and touched Nion on the shoulder. Nion whirled but Jessi decked her before she could comprehend what was going on. "Sorry," Jessi said fakely, shrugging at Nion's fallen figure. Then, before CZ could protest, Jessi sprayed him with the blue stuff. CZ sneezed, blinked, then sneezed again. Then he looked at Jessi and hugged her.
"Thank you. I didn't want to marry her!" Jessi hugged him back, happy to have him back on her side. Then, before any of the four others could figure out what was going on, Jessi bolted from the mall with her consciences intact. Chibi met
them outside. "How'd it go?" Jessi winked at her.
"Just as planned, Small Lady."
As they left, Akira and Rufus broke apart and smiled at each other while Sephiroth started crying and throwing a fit like a like a small child. Finally, however, he stopped and screamed, "what the fuck is going on?! Akira, she just ruined our plans to get back your llamas and now you're making moves on my man?! You bitch!"
Stopping the kiss, Akira looked at Sephiroth and hissed, "by Saidrick the great llama god, you're right! We have to find them... but something just came to me while I was making out with my Rufus!"
Rufus grinned seductively, stepping closer and blocking the view of an even angrier Sephiroth. Purring he started to kiss her neck slowly.
"No, not that!" She pushed him away, though she wanted to ravish him right there... but llamas were her life. "We haven't seen Marco Leonstrife during all this! I bet she gave my llamas to that boi!"