'It's a fucked up world
A fucked up place
Everybody's judged by a fucked face'
Limp Bizkit (Chocolate Fish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water), Hot Dog (the 'fuck' song)
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Mr Weasley turned around. On his great surprise, or better say un-surprise, because he already suspected that Lucius and she aren't just friends, stood Victoria Berger. She was wearing a short black night-gown. She looked very attractive, even to him who was an arbitrary married man and in whose opinion he shouldn't have anything that is not based just on friendship, between women that aren't his wife.
At the same time Lucius Malfoy, swathed in a black cloak, was pacing around the small, untidy Weasley yard. So neurasthenic his pace was as he went back and forth.
After dinner, when the Weasley kids and Harry finished their dinner, because Mrs Weasley still wasn't back, they started washing the dishes. Fred, who was bringing dirty dishes to George, so George could wash it, first dared to talk:
-"Is it just me or Dad went little wacko?"
-"Didn't he say or better ordered, that we call him Father, not Dad, Fred? – said George, passing Ron a plate, so Ron could rinse it.
-"Well, I don't really know, but wasn't he always saying bad stuff about Malfoys? And now he is telling us that we should be more alike them?" – said Ron.
-"And he was very rude to mum" – added Fred.
-"Well, Draco Malfoy calls his dad, Lucius, father." – Harry said, probably because he wanted to stay in the talk, but didn't want to say anything bad about Mr Weasley. Without him, or better without a man at the Malfoy Manor, on the edge to cheat on his wife, he would never see the Quidditch World Cup.
-"What do you reckon, our Dad…"
-"Father, he is our father now, Fred."
-"What do you reckon, our Father isn't our Dad, and it is Lucius Malfoy. And our father is now at the Malfoy Manor, being Lucius Malfoy? – said George.
-"Well do you think it's possible?" – Asked Ron, giving Harry rinsed plate, so Harry could dry it, and put it on its place.
-"No, dunderhead, I was just joking. He probably just had a bad day ... a very bad one. That's all. I bet he'll be normal Dad…"
-"Father!" – this time Ron interrupted him.
-"…He shall be normal Father tomorrow again" – finished Fred. Will he be normal dad (or father) again tomorrow?
-"So Lucius…"
-"What are you doing here?" – "Lucius" asked Victoria, who was by now already lying on top of him, and starting to unbutton his pyjama.
-"Isn't it a stupid question? I came here because of you" – she said, and unbuttoned one more button.
-"Well sorry, but I am a married man" – snapped Arthur, trying to get out of her reach, but too late. She have unbuttoned all the buttons, and when he tried to move away from her, she grabbed him for his pyjama, and pulled upper part off him.
-"I thought you want me?" – she said in a little concerned voice, screwing her face. -"Wait, let me see your arm" – she got on the other side of the bed, where Arthur was, and snatched his right hand.
-"What?" – Mr Weasley asked puzzled.
-"What 'what'? Where is the Dark Mark?" – She showed him her right hand, and Mr Weasley clearly was the sign of Lord Voldemort – the Dark Mark!
When Mr Malfoy already compressed down all the snow from the Burrow's front garden with his pacing, he decided that there's no other way out but he'll have to return, and be Arthur Weasley until they find the cure to go back to him adorable self. When he got into the empty hallway, no one anymore was on the ground floor. Harry, Ron, Fred, and George, after they cleared the table and washed the dished, went to sleep. He climbed upstairs and passed a room, with the door ajar, which was Ginny's. Inside, he saw Mrs Weasley comforting Ginny in her lap, while both of them were crying. 'Stupid demoiselle. She was supposed to be framed for opening the Chamber of Secrets. And then I got sacked from Governor of Hogwarts position. That was such a disgrace. Well if there wasn't that Christopher von Karajan, I don't know who would save me. He got me this place I have now, or better which now has that moron Arthur. Pity Karajan's young wife was so pretty. Well he caught her and me in *ahem*, and was so mad. And then I had to kill him. I didn't have any other way out, or he would kill me. Anyways he was not the first nor the last one who I killed.
He got in front of the old door, with peeled white paint and where was written in child's handwriting, probably Ginny's cause it was very untidy: "Mom and Dad's Bedroom". 'If my Draco would do something besmirching, stigmatic like this, I would kill him,' Lucius thought. He entered the room. It was small, square room, with a small bed and green curtains, with tiny flowers on it. The room was cute and cozy. He thought it was best if he'd just sit down on the bed and wait, but he couldn't. He putted his cloak in the wardrobe, and went into looking what's inside their night tables. First one was Arthur's. There was pair of spare glasses, a paper, a book "Why Did Dark Side Fall?" ('Fool,' Lucius thought, 'Light Side always win, doesn't it?'), Viagra ('Oh man, wait till I tell everybody that he is using Viagra'). He was thirty-seven. 'Well Arthur, I'll have to tell everyone. That's even a Muggle invention, but lots of wizards use it and few other thingamajigs that weren't nearly as interesting. No condoms? Well it isn't really a mystery why Weasleys have so many children. But I don't really get how could he fuck that Molly so much times?" Mr Malfoy didn't even have time to finish his thinking because outraged Molly Weasley stormed in.
-"Arthur, what the hell you think you were doing?"
-"So where is it? I am waiting for an answer. I wasn't there when you joined Voldemort (Mr Weasley gave a shake when she said Voldemort) but you showed it to me countless number of times. I know you have it. I saw it every time we slept together." – Victoria said. 'They have slept together, already. And it was countless times? Oh, Jesus. Poor Narcissa. What the hell have she married a moron that will cheat her with…" he was supposed to think how old she was, but she didn't know.
-"How old are you?"
-"I am twenty-one. And you know that. Is that all what is on your mind. Just to go and show off with woman younger then you?" – She started getting very nervous. – "Now where is the Dark Mark?"
'Damn it. She is just twenty-one. Well now Lucius is cheating Narcissa with a woman that is sixteen years younger that he is. She could be his daughter. I was seventeen when Bill was born.'
-"I don't know where it is?" – Arthur finally answered.
-"Oh, I got it now where it is" – she said, without even listening to what he last said – "you asked the Master if he could make it invisible so no one of that fools that are going against the Master could have a proof that you are on the right side."
-"That is right" – said Mr Weasley and when he wanted to give a huge sigh, he was absolutely unable to. Victoria already hugged him around his neck so hard like he'll try to run away every moment and buried her head into his chest. Arthur decided that if he gives no resistance everything would be all right. She will get off him. And then not even thinking that he is cheating on Molly, he hugged her back, and kissed her in her soft hair.
At the same time Lucius wasn't having as much fun Arthur was. Well, if we want to be correct, he didn't have fun at all. Molly Weasley, née Rogers, was standing in front of Lucius, who was sitting on the bad. When she came in, he acted at tough she didn't come in at all. Her face was red from fury and her hands clutched.
-"Arthur what is happening with you?"
-"Nothing" – he said in kind of lascivious voice.
-"Why did you act so mean to Ginny?" – She tried again. This time "Arthur" looked up, from the book, which he was "reading".
-"Because she was a stupid midget, and a stupid bitch." – This was too much for insolvent Molly Weasley. She slapped man who she thought was her good-natured husband, Arthur. Instead, she slapped a cold Death Eater - Lucius Cassius Malfoy. He was not use to be hit by a woman. Just a few women hit him few times, but they had, in his opinion, very good reason to act so brutal. But he was usually the one to lose all nerves, from Narcissa's worries, and slap her. Sometimes, he would even put Cruciatus Curse on her.
-"Crucio" – he had driven his wand, the only thing they kept the same, and pointed it on Molly, who, after taking the curse, screamed very loud, and fell on the floor.
'I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have lost my control. They'll never be able to prove I did it. I bet real Arthur Weasley can't even do it.'
-"Mom, what happened?" – It was Fred, who after he heard the scream, followed by George, run to their parent's bedroom.
-"Arthur just hit me" – she lied, while Fred and George escorted her on the bed, and just then Ron and Harry came. Lucius was standing in the other part of the room, cursing himself for losing control. Then Ginny came into the room and screamed even more that Mrs Weasley did. Like she was the one with Cruciatus Curse performed on. Ron hugged her, while weak Mrs Weasley said:
-"Go away Arthur. I don't want to see you."
He looked last time at Molly lying on the bed and four Weasley kids around her and Harry Potter. He descended down, to the living room and went to they place where they kept alcohol drinks (booze man...). He took a bottle of white wine and poured himself some into a crystal glass. Then on his surprise came one more person, Percy. When he got into the house, he was very surprised to see his father drinking alcohol aka boozing, man.
-"Hello Father. I never saw you drinking alcohol, before? Weren't you said that just bum's are drinking?" – He said after he entered that living room, and putted his leather bag on the sofa.
Lucius, who already drunk whole bottle of wine, throw it on Percy, and said:
-"Go to your mother." – 'This is enough. I can't stand it anymore.'
One bottle of 14% gave him just a little buzz. As an experienced drinker, Lucius would never get hammered enough to can't stop combing his hair after a single beer (like your author did...).
Percy, who was so surprised with what his "father" did, numbly got upstairs. Mr Malfoy drank one more bottle of wine, and fell asleep, on the ground.
-"Wake up Lucius! LUCIUS! Lucius, for God's sake, I can't yell, your wife will hear me… LUCIUS! You will be late for your work… Lucius I can't stay here whole morning waking you up... I will be late for my job, you will, too… – This was enough for Victoria, when she slapped sleeping Mr Weasley. Mr Weasley, who usually shouldn't be on her job earlier then nine o'clock, opened his sleepy eyes, and saw that clock was showing it was six thirty. Victoria, fully dresses, was leaning on his bad and waking him up. He somehow got up, and probably because he was so sleepy, but he would never let this happen, let Victoria give him a wet kiss on the lips, and then she very carefully got out of the room, and went outside the Mansion and apparated.
Lucius was so drunk that he didn't get up that morning. No one dared to touch sleeping "Mr Weasley". Especially after last night when he performed Cruciatus Curse over Mrs Weasley, or what other thought, hit her. He just lay on the floor for whole day. He didn't even go to his job due to the headache. That's why he preferred vodka. He felt fucked up next day, but at least not like after spritzer (a drink where you mix 1/2 carbonated mineral water and other half white wine. It tastes cool. You can also make variations on dozes). Mrs Weasley, who spent the whole day in her bad, surrounded by Harry and Weasley, who were bringing her food and drink, told one of Arthur's friends that he is sick, and that he can't come to his job that day. She was too ashamed to say in her letter that he is drunk and what is worse, that he used Cruciatus Curse on her, which was one of three curses which use on human being can get you to Azkeban.
Mr Weasley found it too hard to be Lucius. Lucius had at least twenty meeting that day. But he was relieved when his personal secretary told him that tomorrow would be little easier to survive. On his great happiness he didn't see Victoria whole day. In his opinion, she was attractive and pretty, very pretty, but too much Lucius' type woman for him. He felt sorry for Narcissa. He loved her once. He suddenly got a marvellous idea. He knew Narcissa always loved French Opera, but he never had enough money to buy even a cheapest ticket. That would include wasting Locus's money, but it would really make Narcissa happy. At that moment, someone else entered his office. It was Percy Weasley, his own son. He looked little sulky.
-"Good day Mr Malfoy," - he said very politely – "I came here to give you this, and Ms Berger sent me to you to tell me what will my next project be."
Arthur looked around the papers and they were about cauldrons. After Mr Crouch abandoned the position, no one took thickness of cauldrons as a matter. He suddenly had a though.
-"Weasley" – he didn't really like to call him that way, but Lucius always called all Weasleys by their last name; – "could I do anything about this?
-Well Sir, you are the one that has the power for the law about cauldrons to be brought on the scene. It is just your decision: do you think that law about that is important." – Said Percy in voice filled with hope.
-"What do I have to do?" – asked Mr Weasley. He didn't really think that cauldron thickness was that important thing, but it would make Percy, his son, extremely blithe.
-"Just go to Abraham Williams and give him this, and he'll make it a law."
-"Well, that is what I shall do."
-"Really, Sir? I just can't tell you how…" - Percy felt down on his knees. At the same time, of course without knocking, Victoria came in and gave "Lucius" stare: "What the hell is he doing?"
-"Hello Victoria" – "Lucius" said.
-"Oh, hello Ms Berger." – Said Percy and quickly standing up.
-"I am here to see what is happening between you two. Weasley, have you done report about foreign Dragons?" – Snapped Victoria on Percy.
-"Of course I did."
-"Then where it is?"
-"At my home."
-"Why is it there?" – She asked.
-"Well I forgot to get it, you know…"
-"You know what young Weasley, Victoria and me will come tonight to your house; she can get the report and I really have to talk to your father." – Percy's cheeks went scarlet.
-"Well I'll tell him. Good day to you, Mr Malfoy. Goodbye Ms Berger." – He said, and exited the room.
-"What's up with you? I am not going to their shack?" – Victoria started in voice filled with panic. Arthur finally realised that Lucius wasn't really soft on her, and said:
-"You'll do what I said; I am the one who got you your job. And by the way, we will have to be there by seven o'clock."
-"Yes, I will be there," - she just opened the door to go out.
-"One more thing" – she closed the door and walked back to him so she could sit on his desk – "get me three, no, actually two tickets for the Grande Theatre, for nine o'clock. Just tonight, they are playing French opera, Salieri's "Tarare"."
-"What's up with you Lucius, you know that I like German opera, not French, and I don't really like Salieri…"
-"I am not taking you, honey. I am taking Narcissa out. Go and tell her that. Get me a private parlour, and tell her to be ready at eight thirty. I shall just come only to pick her up. And not to be so exasperated at me cause we sleep in separate rooms. After, in month or something like that, we can go and watch Händel's German opera, darling."
-"Händel did not write German operas" – she said. In what he could see, she was outraged by what he had just asked her to do for him. – "And why don't you ask your personal secretary to do that for you?"
-"Händel was a German and I want you to do that for me."
-Händel was born in Halle, Germany, and lived in here in England and wrote Italian operas with French overtures…"
-Good for him, but it's really confusing. Now please, I have a work to do, so please…" - well never got to finish his thread cause she stormed out of the office, slamming the door and a picture fell down from the wall and shattered in thousand tiny pieces. Mr Weasley made a smile on his now pale and pointed face.
When seven o'clock came, Mrs Weasley, along with Victoria, who gave him tickets, and informed his wife about opera, apparated into the Burrow. Victoria sent him a disgusted look. She was so cold with him, which was goal for Mr Weasley. Just now to get her away from me, and then I can sleep normally. 'Well, I will ruin their relationship, but who cares.'
They knocked on the door and Percy Weasley opened it. He was so red in his face that Arthur knew something was wrong. When they came into living room, he knew why. Lucius Malfoy was lying on the floor, with wine glass in his hand and one wine bottle beside him, the other one smashed. Percy was saying sorry all the time, while Victoria was giving a wide smirk, thinking how she will gossip Weasleys tomorrow. When they sat down, on the other couch opposite of the one beside who was drunk, Mr Malfoy was laying, Victoria whispered him:
-"Look at their house. And he is lying on the floor" - she didn't have any slightest idea that he, who was lying on the floor drunk, was her dear lover, Lucius. Percy asked for tea or coffee, and while he was making tea to "Mr Malfoy" and coffee for Ms Berger, Mr Weasley thought: 'Lucius you will pay me for this. You drank all wine that was so expensive. I never-ever drink. I hope I see my dear wife, and my children. I'm really sick of this bitch. She is really type for Lucius. And she's a Death Eater."
-"Lucius, how come you wanted tea?" – on her words, real Lucius, the one on the floor was woken up.
-"Pardon me?" – said Mr Weasley, looking at Mr Malfoy, who slowly was rising up.
-"Well you always drank just coffee."
-"Well…"
-"Oh that's you. You … you ... you shall pay me when I get my hands on you" – Mr Malfoy finally raised and sat on the sofa. He looked at Arthur, then at Victoria, who looked at him at disgust.
-"So, Mr Weasley, do you always get drunk or was it just because of some very special reason?" – Victoria first asked.
-"Well, if you were last night here with me, I would really have some special reason, wouldn't I? But it was just realising that YOUR life wasn't what you really have expected."
-"Well what ever you say?" – she said, and gave Mr Malfoy a good look.
-"So where are your children and wife? And I was told that Harry Potter is staying at yours?" – asked Mr Weasley. Victoria gave him piercing look that was saying 'Is it your business to watch other kids and OTHER MEN'S WIVES?'
-"Upstairs. That woman's sick."
-"Is she okay?" – he asked quickly. Victoria again pierced him with her stare 'How dare you ask that question. She isn't pretty at all. I saw her once. She is fat and ugly."
-"Victoria, go and help Percy Weasley serve the coffee and tea for me." – Said Mr Weasley. He realised that she would do everything what Lucius order her. That would probably make her even madder. She got out of the room, with no look back.
-"And one coffee for me, please Vicky" – yelled Lucius after her. After hearing 'Vicky', she returned to face Lucius.
-"How did you call me?"
-"Vicky." – He sneered.
-"Well, I hate being called that way."
-"Okay Vicky," - Mr Weasley sneered, too. He was surprised how hard that was. Even with Lucius' face, which was probably used for sneering so much, he had problems doing it the way Lucius did. And he was so surprised, too, that Lucius didn't have any problems in doing his favourite expression on Arthur's face.
-"What did you say, Lucius?" – She said in tone as tough she was in mood to draw her wand, and kill him. But she just turned around and staggered out the room, into the kitchen.
-"So you met Victoria, pretty demoiselle isn't she. Why did you make her so angry?" – Asked Lucius.
-"Lucius how could you? She can be your daughter? Anyways, I'm taking your wife tonight to opera, so I asked Victoria to fetch me some tickets for that."
-"You what?"
-"And don't forget, I promised Victoria you would take her on Händel, in a month or so."
-"First, I hate Händel, and second, you will be taking her, cause I don't really know the way out of this labyrinth."
-"Don't worry, I went to the Potion Room today, and I got all ingredients that made me you and you me. So I just invented a new potion. And I'll need about a month to make that potion again, and return us to our real form.
-Fine. So why, when we had a fight, it took just few minutes, and now you are asking for a month."
-"Because it is made out of other potions that need time to be made" – Arthur answered.
-"Did you have sex with Victoria yet?"
-"Well she made to, I would never. It wasn't my fault. For pity's sake, she could be my daughter, and yours too."
-"She didn't mind it at all. And when she married Christopher von Karajan, she didn't care that she was nineteen and he was forty-six."
-"Enough about her. Where are my kids, and my wife?"
-"Upstairs, crying for their Mummy." – Sneered Mr Malfoy again.
-"What!-are-they-doing?
-Well, your "pretty" wife slapped me, so I had to slap her back." – His face gave an evil grin, which looked strange on Arthur Weasley.
-"You, you…" - he wanted to finish, but stood up. Then he remembered he was of Lucius Malfoy's body image, and that his wife would make him go out of the room.
-"Will I pay you for this?" – Sneered Mr Malfoy. – "Well I think not. Try not to waste my money anymore. And that French opera, how much did it cost?"
-"Well, as I said I sent Victoria to buy the tickets for me. And as far as I can see, you let her have access to your personal account, I wouldn't bet she'd waste her money on you and your wife."
Mr Malfoy scrawled. At the same time Percy entered carrying tray with tea and sugar. Victoria, who was carrying coffee, closely followed him. They both putted it down on the small impassive table, and Victoria sat beside Mr Malfoy, passing him coffee, while he respectfully said thanks, but all the time staring at her. Percy passed Mr Weasley tea. They drunk it in silence, while Mr Weasley was all the time turned to Victoria, and when Percy said he wants to get her report about foreign dragons, Mr Malfoy banned him to do that. He said he will do it for him, and asked Victoria to come with him. She was obviously very angry on "Lucius" and at the same time the real Lucius, here Mr Weasley couldn't make mistake, had real charm for woman.
While Victoria and Mr Malfoy was climbing the cranky narrow staircase (he let Victoria go first, so he could stare at her ass all the time as they climbed), Mr Weasley looked on his watch, and realised if he don't hurry up he shan't have time to get dressed. He politely said goodbye to Percy and apparated back to the manor. There, he quickly changed into black robes, with hem in colour of pale grey, and got downstairs where Narcissa was waiting. She looked stunningly pretty. She wore velvet robes in colour of watery blue.
They got into the limo and were escorted to the Diagon Alley, and into Grande Theatre. Mr Weasley never went there, before. All the important people from the Ministry were there. He saw Abraham Williams, the same person that he brought the law about cauldrons, the Minister Fudge with his wife Andromeda Fudge. They were accompanied by Austrian Minister of Magic – Otto von Gluck. Professor Severus Snape was along there with Professor Minerva McGonagall. And finally, while they were in the queue, waiting to climb the stairs to their personal parlour, a hand clapped on his shoulder and he turned around – it was Macnair.
-"Hello Lucius, old friend. How are you?" – he asked. Beside him stood a short woman with unnatural red hair.
-"Fine. And how are you and your lovely wife?" – he replied.
-"Well, we are very fine, too. It's really a surprise to see you here. Don't you hate French opera, Lucius?"
-"I do hate it, I can't lie to you. But my dear wife, Narcissa, loves it, so I am here because of her." – Narcissa smiled in pleasant way, showing everybody around her how happy she was. But Macnair looked shocked. 'Why would Lucius Malfoy sacrifice an evening to take his wife on French opera, which he hates so much?" That thought stuck Macnair.
-"Well if don't hurry up to get to our parlour, we will be late" – Macnair's wife said, and they exchanged goodbye's and went in different directions.
The parlour had very good view. They could see entire stage and orchestra of goblins in the pit, in front. Even Arthur, who never knew anything about classical music (Weasleys loved country and folk) knew this evening would be fascinating. He looked at program, and saw that main character – Tarare, was sang by tenor Alphonso Bouvier.
When conductor came out and bowed, and gave goblins sign, they started with the overture. Arthur really liked it. And Narcissa seemed happy, like Lucius never even had taken her on something like that. During the intermission they decided that they would like to stay in the parlour instead of going into the crowd, and talking about impressions about the opera. They ordered champagne, which was brought by an elf, that was wearing miniature tuxedo.
Victoria was so mad that "Lucius" left her alone at Weasleys that she decided that she must talk to him. Lucius Malfoy, the real one, had a dinner, eggs, and coffee, and fall into sleep on the couch. Mrs Weasley stayed in her bed all day. Weasley kids and Harry was very suspicious about Mr "Weasley's" strange behaving, but were so tired that didn't discuss that matter before going to bed.
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'Deine große macht mich klein
Du darftst mein Bestrafer sein
Du darfst mein Bestrafer sein'
'You are big, make me small
You can be my punisher
You can be my punisher'
Rammstein (DIE BESTE), Bestrafe mich
Punish me, punish me...
A fucked up place
Everybody's judged by a fucked face'
Limp Bizkit (Chocolate Fish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water), Hot Dog (the 'fuck' song)
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Mr Weasley turned around. On his great surprise, or better say un-surprise, because he already suspected that Lucius and she aren't just friends, stood Victoria Berger. She was wearing a short black night-gown. She looked very attractive, even to him who was an arbitrary married man and in whose opinion he shouldn't have anything that is not based just on friendship, between women that aren't his wife.
At the same time Lucius Malfoy, swathed in a black cloak, was pacing around the small, untidy Weasley yard. So neurasthenic his pace was as he went back and forth.
After dinner, when the Weasley kids and Harry finished their dinner, because Mrs Weasley still wasn't back, they started washing the dishes. Fred, who was bringing dirty dishes to George, so George could wash it, first dared to talk:
-"Is it just me or Dad went little wacko?"
-"Didn't he say or better ordered, that we call him Father, not Dad, Fred? – said George, passing Ron a plate, so Ron could rinse it.
-"Well, I don't really know, but wasn't he always saying bad stuff about Malfoys? And now he is telling us that we should be more alike them?" – said Ron.
-"And he was very rude to mum" – added Fred.
-"Well, Draco Malfoy calls his dad, Lucius, father." – Harry said, probably because he wanted to stay in the talk, but didn't want to say anything bad about Mr Weasley. Without him, or better without a man at the Malfoy Manor, on the edge to cheat on his wife, he would never see the Quidditch World Cup.
-"What do you reckon, our Dad…"
-"Father, he is our father now, Fred."
-"What do you reckon, our Father isn't our Dad, and it is Lucius Malfoy. And our father is now at the Malfoy Manor, being Lucius Malfoy? – said George.
-"Well do you think it's possible?" – Asked Ron, giving Harry rinsed plate, so Harry could dry it, and put it on its place.
-"No, dunderhead, I was just joking. He probably just had a bad day ... a very bad one. That's all. I bet he'll be normal Dad…"
-"Father!" – this time Ron interrupted him.
-"…He shall be normal Father tomorrow again" – finished Fred. Will he be normal dad (or father) again tomorrow?
-"So Lucius…"
-"What are you doing here?" – "Lucius" asked Victoria, who was by now already lying on top of him, and starting to unbutton his pyjama.
-"Isn't it a stupid question? I came here because of you" – she said, and unbuttoned one more button.
-"Well sorry, but I am a married man" – snapped Arthur, trying to get out of her reach, but too late. She have unbuttoned all the buttons, and when he tried to move away from her, she grabbed him for his pyjama, and pulled upper part off him.
-"I thought you want me?" – she said in a little concerned voice, screwing her face. -"Wait, let me see your arm" – she got on the other side of the bed, where Arthur was, and snatched his right hand.
-"What?" – Mr Weasley asked puzzled.
-"What 'what'? Where is the Dark Mark?" – She showed him her right hand, and Mr Weasley clearly was the sign of Lord Voldemort – the Dark Mark!
When Mr Malfoy already compressed down all the snow from the Burrow's front garden with his pacing, he decided that there's no other way out but he'll have to return, and be Arthur Weasley until they find the cure to go back to him adorable self. When he got into the empty hallway, no one anymore was on the ground floor. Harry, Ron, Fred, and George, after they cleared the table and washed the dished, went to sleep. He climbed upstairs and passed a room, with the door ajar, which was Ginny's. Inside, he saw Mrs Weasley comforting Ginny in her lap, while both of them were crying. 'Stupid demoiselle. She was supposed to be framed for opening the Chamber of Secrets. And then I got sacked from Governor of Hogwarts position. That was such a disgrace. Well if there wasn't that Christopher von Karajan, I don't know who would save me. He got me this place I have now, or better which now has that moron Arthur. Pity Karajan's young wife was so pretty. Well he caught her and me in *ahem*, and was so mad. And then I had to kill him. I didn't have any other way out, or he would kill me. Anyways he was not the first nor the last one who I killed.
He got in front of the old door, with peeled white paint and where was written in child's handwriting, probably Ginny's cause it was very untidy: "Mom and Dad's Bedroom". 'If my Draco would do something besmirching, stigmatic like this, I would kill him,' Lucius thought. He entered the room. It was small, square room, with a small bed and green curtains, with tiny flowers on it. The room was cute and cozy. He thought it was best if he'd just sit down on the bed and wait, but he couldn't. He putted his cloak in the wardrobe, and went into looking what's inside their night tables. First one was Arthur's. There was pair of spare glasses, a paper, a book "Why Did Dark Side Fall?" ('Fool,' Lucius thought, 'Light Side always win, doesn't it?'), Viagra ('Oh man, wait till I tell everybody that he is using Viagra'). He was thirty-seven. 'Well Arthur, I'll have to tell everyone. That's even a Muggle invention, but lots of wizards use it and few other thingamajigs that weren't nearly as interesting. No condoms? Well it isn't really a mystery why Weasleys have so many children. But I don't really get how could he fuck that Molly so much times?" Mr Malfoy didn't even have time to finish his thinking because outraged Molly Weasley stormed in.
-"Arthur, what the hell you think you were doing?"
-"So where is it? I am waiting for an answer. I wasn't there when you joined Voldemort (Mr Weasley gave a shake when she said Voldemort) but you showed it to me countless number of times. I know you have it. I saw it every time we slept together." – Victoria said. 'They have slept together, already. And it was countless times? Oh, Jesus. Poor Narcissa. What the hell have she married a moron that will cheat her with…" he was supposed to think how old she was, but she didn't know.
-"How old are you?"
-"I am twenty-one. And you know that. Is that all what is on your mind. Just to go and show off with woman younger then you?" – She started getting very nervous. – "Now where is the Dark Mark?"
'Damn it. She is just twenty-one. Well now Lucius is cheating Narcissa with a woman that is sixteen years younger that he is. She could be his daughter. I was seventeen when Bill was born.'
-"I don't know where it is?" – Arthur finally answered.
-"Oh, I got it now where it is" – she said, without even listening to what he last said – "you asked the Master if he could make it invisible so no one of that fools that are going against the Master could have a proof that you are on the right side."
-"That is right" – said Mr Weasley and when he wanted to give a huge sigh, he was absolutely unable to. Victoria already hugged him around his neck so hard like he'll try to run away every moment and buried her head into his chest. Arthur decided that if he gives no resistance everything would be all right. She will get off him. And then not even thinking that he is cheating on Molly, he hugged her back, and kissed her in her soft hair.
At the same time Lucius wasn't having as much fun Arthur was. Well, if we want to be correct, he didn't have fun at all. Molly Weasley, née Rogers, was standing in front of Lucius, who was sitting on the bad. When she came in, he acted at tough she didn't come in at all. Her face was red from fury and her hands clutched.
-"Arthur what is happening with you?"
-"Nothing" – he said in kind of lascivious voice.
-"Why did you act so mean to Ginny?" – She tried again. This time "Arthur" looked up, from the book, which he was "reading".
-"Because she was a stupid midget, and a stupid bitch." – This was too much for insolvent Molly Weasley. She slapped man who she thought was her good-natured husband, Arthur. Instead, she slapped a cold Death Eater - Lucius Cassius Malfoy. He was not use to be hit by a woman. Just a few women hit him few times, but they had, in his opinion, very good reason to act so brutal. But he was usually the one to lose all nerves, from Narcissa's worries, and slap her. Sometimes, he would even put Cruciatus Curse on her.
-"Crucio" – he had driven his wand, the only thing they kept the same, and pointed it on Molly, who, after taking the curse, screamed very loud, and fell on the floor.
'I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have lost my control. They'll never be able to prove I did it. I bet real Arthur Weasley can't even do it.'
-"Mom, what happened?" – It was Fred, who after he heard the scream, followed by George, run to their parent's bedroom.
-"Arthur just hit me" – she lied, while Fred and George escorted her on the bed, and just then Ron and Harry came. Lucius was standing in the other part of the room, cursing himself for losing control. Then Ginny came into the room and screamed even more that Mrs Weasley did. Like she was the one with Cruciatus Curse performed on. Ron hugged her, while weak Mrs Weasley said:
-"Go away Arthur. I don't want to see you."
He looked last time at Molly lying on the bed and four Weasley kids around her and Harry Potter. He descended down, to the living room and went to they place where they kept alcohol drinks (booze man...). He took a bottle of white wine and poured himself some into a crystal glass. Then on his surprise came one more person, Percy. When he got into the house, he was very surprised to see his father drinking alcohol aka boozing, man.
-"Hello Father. I never saw you drinking alcohol, before? Weren't you said that just bum's are drinking?" – He said after he entered that living room, and putted his leather bag on the sofa.
Lucius, who already drunk whole bottle of wine, throw it on Percy, and said:
-"Go to your mother." – 'This is enough. I can't stand it anymore.'
One bottle of 14% gave him just a little buzz. As an experienced drinker, Lucius would never get hammered enough to can't stop combing his hair after a single beer (like your author did...).
Percy, who was so surprised with what his "father" did, numbly got upstairs. Mr Malfoy drank one more bottle of wine, and fell asleep, on the ground.
-"Wake up Lucius! LUCIUS! Lucius, for God's sake, I can't yell, your wife will hear me… LUCIUS! You will be late for your work… Lucius I can't stay here whole morning waking you up... I will be late for my job, you will, too… – This was enough for Victoria, when she slapped sleeping Mr Weasley. Mr Weasley, who usually shouldn't be on her job earlier then nine o'clock, opened his sleepy eyes, and saw that clock was showing it was six thirty. Victoria, fully dresses, was leaning on his bad and waking him up. He somehow got up, and probably because he was so sleepy, but he would never let this happen, let Victoria give him a wet kiss on the lips, and then she very carefully got out of the room, and went outside the Mansion and apparated.
Lucius was so drunk that he didn't get up that morning. No one dared to touch sleeping "Mr Weasley". Especially after last night when he performed Cruciatus Curse over Mrs Weasley, or what other thought, hit her. He just lay on the floor for whole day. He didn't even go to his job due to the headache. That's why he preferred vodka. He felt fucked up next day, but at least not like after spritzer (a drink where you mix 1/2 carbonated mineral water and other half white wine. It tastes cool. You can also make variations on dozes). Mrs Weasley, who spent the whole day in her bad, surrounded by Harry and Weasley, who were bringing her food and drink, told one of Arthur's friends that he is sick, and that he can't come to his job that day. She was too ashamed to say in her letter that he is drunk and what is worse, that he used Cruciatus Curse on her, which was one of three curses which use on human being can get you to Azkeban.
Mr Weasley found it too hard to be Lucius. Lucius had at least twenty meeting that day. But he was relieved when his personal secretary told him that tomorrow would be little easier to survive. On his great happiness he didn't see Victoria whole day. In his opinion, she was attractive and pretty, very pretty, but too much Lucius' type woman for him. He felt sorry for Narcissa. He loved her once. He suddenly got a marvellous idea. He knew Narcissa always loved French Opera, but he never had enough money to buy even a cheapest ticket. That would include wasting Locus's money, but it would really make Narcissa happy. At that moment, someone else entered his office. It was Percy Weasley, his own son. He looked little sulky.
-"Good day Mr Malfoy," - he said very politely – "I came here to give you this, and Ms Berger sent me to you to tell me what will my next project be."
Arthur looked around the papers and they were about cauldrons. After Mr Crouch abandoned the position, no one took thickness of cauldrons as a matter. He suddenly had a though.
-"Weasley" – he didn't really like to call him that way, but Lucius always called all Weasleys by their last name; – "could I do anything about this?
-Well Sir, you are the one that has the power for the law about cauldrons to be brought on the scene. It is just your decision: do you think that law about that is important." – Said Percy in voice filled with hope.
-"What do I have to do?" – asked Mr Weasley. He didn't really think that cauldron thickness was that important thing, but it would make Percy, his son, extremely blithe.
-"Just go to Abraham Williams and give him this, and he'll make it a law."
-"Well, that is what I shall do."
-"Really, Sir? I just can't tell you how…" - Percy felt down on his knees. At the same time, of course without knocking, Victoria came in and gave "Lucius" stare: "What the hell is he doing?"
-"Hello Victoria" – "Lucius" said.
-"Oh, hello Ms Berger." – Said Percy and quickly standing up.
-"I am here to see what is happening between you two. Weasley, have you done report about foreign Dragons?" – Snapped Victoria on Percy.
-"Of course I did."
-"Then where it is?"
-"At my home."
-"Why is it there?" – She asked.
-"Well I forgot to get it, you know…"
-"You know what young Weasley, Victoria and me will come tonight to your house; she can get the report and I really have to talk to your father." – Percy's cheeks went scarlet.
-"Well I'll tell him. Good day to you, Mr Malfoy. Goodbye Ms Berger." – He said, and exited the room.
-"What's up with you? I am not going to their shack?" – Victoria started in voice filled with panic. Arthur finally realised that Lucius wasn't really soft on her, and said:
-"You'll do what I said; I am the one who got you your job. And by the way, we will have to be there by seven o'clock."
-"Yes, I will be there," - she just opened the door to go out.
-"One more thing" – she closed the door and walked back to him so she could sit on his desk – "get me three, no, actually two tickets for the Grande Theatre, for nine o'clock. Just tonight, they are playing French opera, Salieri's "Tarare"."
-"What's up with you Lucius, you know that I like German opera, not French, and I don't really like Salieri…"
-"I am not taking you, honey. I am taking Narcissa out. Go and tell her that. Get me a private parlour, and tell her to be ready at eight thirty. I shall just come only to pick her up. And not to be so exasperated at me cause we sleep in separate rooms. After, in month or something like that, we can go and watch Händel's German opera, darling."
-"Händel did not write German operas" – she said. In what he could see, she was outraged by what he had just asked her to do for him. – "And why don't you ask your personal secretary to do that for you?"
-"Händel was a German and I want you to do that for me."
-Händel was born in Halle, Germany, and lived in here in England and wrote Italian operas with French overtures…"
-Good for him, but it's really confusing. Now please, I have a work to do, so please…" - well never got to finish his thread cause she stormed out of the office, slamming the door and a picture fell down from the wall and shattered in thousand tiny pieces. Mr Weasley made a smile on his now pale and pointed face.
When seven o'clock came, Mrs Weasley, along with Victoria, who gave him tickets, and informed his wife about opera, apparated into the Burrow. Victoria sent him a disgusted look. She was so cold with him, which was goal for Mr Weasley. Just now to get her away from me, and then I can sleep normally. 'Well, I will ruin their relationship, but who cares.'
They knocked on the door and Percy Weasley opened it. He was so red in his face that Arthur knew something was wrong. When they came into living room, he knew why. Lucius Malfoy was lying on the floor, with wine glass in his hand and one wine bottle beside him, the other one smashed. Percy was saying sorry all the time, while Victoria was giving a wide smirk, thinking how she will gossip Weasleys tomorrow. When they sat down, on the other couch opposite of the one beside who was drunk, Mr Malfoy was laying, Victoria whispered him:
-"Look at their house. And he is lying on the floor" - she didn't have any slightest idea that he, who was lying on the floor drunk, was her dear lover, Lucius. Percy asked for tea or coffee, and while he was making tea to "Mr Malfoy" and coffee for Ms Berger, Mr Weasley thought: 'Lucius you will pay me for this. You drank all wine that was so expensive. I never-ever drink. I hope I see my dear wife, and my children. I'm really sick of this bitch. She is really type for Lucius. And she's a Death Eater."
-"Lucius, how come you wanted tea?" – on her words, real Lucius, the one on the floor was woken up.
-"Pardon me?" – said Mr Weasley, looking at Mr Malfoy, who slowly was rising up.
-"Well you always drank just coffee."
-"Well…"
-"Oh that's you. You … you ... you shall pay me when I get my hands on you" – Mr Malfoy finally raised and sat on the sofa. He looked at Arthur, then at Victoria, who looked at him at disgust.
-"So, Mr Weasley, do you always get drunk or was it just because of some very special reason?" – Victoria first asked.
-"Well, if you were last night here with me, I would really have some special reason, wouldn't I? But it was just realising that YOUR life wasn't what you really have expected."
-"Well what ever you say?" – she said, and gave Mr Malfoy a good look.
-"So where are your children and wife? And I was told that Harry Potter is staying at yours?" – asked Mr Weasley. Victoria gave him piercing look that was saying 'Is it your business to watch other kids and OTHER MEN'S WIVES?'
-"Upstairs. That woman's sick."
-"Is she okay?" – he asked quickly. Victoria again pierced him with her stare 'How dare you ask that question. She isn't pretty at all. I saw her once. She is fat and ugly."
-"Victoria, go and help Percy Weasley serve the coffee and tea for me." – Said Mr Weasley. He realised that she would do everything what Lucius order her. That would probably make her even madder. She got out of the room, with no look back.
-"And one coffee for me, please Vicky" – yelled Lucius after her. After hearing 'Vicky', she returned to face Lucius.
-"How did you call me?"
-"Vicky." – He sneered.
-"Well, I hate being called that way."
-"Okay Vicky," - Mr Weasley sneered, too. He was surprised how hard that was. Even with Lucius' face, which was probably used for sneering so much, he had problems doing it the way Lucius did. And he was so surprised, too, that Lucius didn't have any problems in doing his favourite expression on Arthur's face.
-"What did you say, Lucius?" – She said in tone as tough she was in mood to draw her wand, and kill him. But she just turned around and staggered out the room, into the kitchen.
-"So you met Victoria, pretty demoiselle isn't she. Why did you make her so angry?" – Asked Lucius.
-"Lucius how could you? She can be your daughter? Anyways, I'm taking your wife tonight to opera, so I asked Victoria to fetch me some tickets for that."
-"You what?"
-"And don't forget, I promised Victoria you would take her on Händel, in a month or so."
-"First, I hate Händel, and second, you will be taking her, cause I don't really know the way out of this labyrinth."
-"Don't worry, I went to the Potion Room today, and I got all ingredients that made me you and you me. So I just invented a new potion. And I'll need about a month to make that potion again, and return us to our real form.
-Fine. So why, when we had a fight, it took just few minutes, and now you are asking for a month."
-"Because it is made out of other potions that need time to be made" – Arthur answered.
-"Did you have sex with Victoria yet?"
-"Well she made to, I would never. It wasn't my fault. For pity's sake, she could be my daughter, and yours too."
-"She didn't mind it at all. And when she married Christopher von Karajan, she didn't care that she was nineteen and he was forty-six."
-"Enough about her. Where are my kids, and my wife?"
-"Upstairs, crying for their Mummy." – Sneered Mr Malfoy again.
-"What!-are-they-doing?
-Well, your "pretty" wife slapped me, so I had to slap her back." – His face gave an evil grin, which looked strange on Arthur Weasley.
-"You, you…" - he wanted to finish, but stood up. Then he remembered he was of Lucius Malfoy's body image, and that his wife would make him go out of the room.
-"Will I pay you for this?" – Sneered Mr Malfoy. – "Well I think not. Try not to waste my money anymore. And that French opera, how much did it cost?"
-"Well, as I said I sent Victoria to buy the tickets for me. And as far as I can see, you let her have access to your personal account, I wouldn't bet she'd waste her money on you and your wife."
Mr Malfoy scrawled. At the same time Percy entered carrying tray with tea and sugar. Victoria, who was carrying coffee, closely followed him. They both putted it down on the small impassive table, and Victoria sat beside Mr Malfoy, passing him coffee, while he respectfully said thanks, but all the time staring at her. Percy passed Mr Weasley tea. They drunk it in silence, while Mr Weasley was all the time turned to Victoria, and when Percy said he wants to get her report about foreign dragons, Mr Malfoy banned him to do that. He said he will do it for him, and asked Victoria to come with him. She was obviously very angry on "Lucius" and at the same time the real Lucius, here Mr Weasley couldn't make mistake, had real charm for woman.
While Victoria and Mr Malfoy was climbing the cranky narrow staircase (he let Victoria go first, so he could stare at her ass all the time as they climbed), Mr Weasley looked on his watch, and realised if he don't hurry up he shan't have time to get dressed. He politely said goodbye to Percy and apparated back to the manor. There, he quickly changed into black robes, with hem in colour of pale grey, and got downstairs where Narcissa was waiting. She looked stunningly pretty. She wore velvet robes in colour of watery blue.
They got into the limo and were escorted to the Diagon Alley, and into Grande Theatre. Mr Weasley never went there, before. All the important people from the Ministry were there. He saw Abraham Williams, the same person that he brought the law about cauldrons, the Minister Fudge with his wife Andromeda Fudge. They were accompanied by Austrian Minister of Magic – Otto von Gluck. Professor Severus Snape was along there with Professor Minerva McGonagall. And finally, while they were in the queue, waiting to climb the stairs to their personal parlour, a hand clapped on his shoulder and he turned around – it was Macnair.
-"Hello Lucius, old friend. How are you?" – he asked. Beside him stood a short woman with unnatural red hair.
-"Fine. And how are you and your lovely wife?" – he replied.
-"Well, we are very fine, too. It's really a surprise to see you here. Don't you hate French opera, Lucius?"
-"I do hate it, I can't lie to you. But my dear wife, Narcissa, loves it, so I am here because of her." – Narcissa smiled in pleasant way, showing everybody around her how happy she was. But Macnair looked shocked. 'Why would Lucius Malfoy sacrifice an evening to take his wife on French opera, which he hates so much?" That thought stuck Macnair.
-"Well if don't hurry up to get to our parlour, we will be late" – Macnair's wife said, and they exchanged goodbye's and went in different directions.
The parlour had very good view. They could see entire stage and orchestra of goblins in the pit, in front. Even Arthur, who never knew anything about classical music (Weasleys loved country and folk) knew this evening would be fascinating. He looked at program, and saw that main character – Tarare, was sang by tenor Alphonso Bouvier.
When conductor came out and bowed, and gave goblins sign, they started with the overture. Arthur really liked it. And Narcissa seemed happy, like Lucius never even had taken her on something like that. During the intermission they decided that they would like to stay in the parlour instead of going into the crowd, and talking about impressions about the opera. They ordered champagne, which was brought by an elf, that was wearing miniature tuxedo.
Victoria was so mad that "Lucius" left her alone at Weasleys that she decided that she must talk to him. Lucius Malfoy, the real one, had a dinner, eggs, and coffee, and fall into sleep on the couch. Mrs Weasley stayed in her bed all day. Weasley kids and Harry was very suspicious about Mr "Weasley's" strange behaving, but were so tired that didn't discuss that matter before going to bed.
________________________________________________________________________________
'Deine große macht mich klein
Du darftst mein Bestrafer sein
Du darfst mein Bestrafer sein'
'You are big, make me small
You can be my punisher
You can be my punisher'
Rammstein (DIE BESTE), Bestrafe mich
Punish me, punish me...