Sam: OHMIGOD! WE KILLED ZECHS!
Duo: What's this "We"?
(Authors note: Bet you thought I was gonna do a takeoff on the old
"Ohmigod-we killed kenny" thing, didn't you? Well, I didn't! SO THERE!)
Christina: Go to commercial!
Heero: THIS IS A COMMERCIAL!!!
Sam: JUST DO IT!
*Fade To Black*
:::Lady Une is on the beach, wearing a tight black evening gown that
offers minimal complience with decency laws. Her hair blows out, smooth and silky, into the light ocean breeze:::
Une: Tired of split ends, Girls?
:::Camera angle shifts, the top of her head an a certain part of the
front of her dress are visible, the switches back:::
Une: Tired of having hair that just won't go where you want it to go?
:::Camera zooms in on her crossed legs and eight-inch high-heeled shoes
that look to be the greatest miracle of suspension since the Golden Gate Bridge.:::
Une: You want your hair to make a STATEMENT, Ladies?
:::Camera does a nifty 360 degree turn so it focuses on her ass, spins
wildly on it's tripod, makes a buzzing noise, and sparking wildly, slams into the roof of the set::::
*Static*
::::Camera cuts back in on a Poloroid HomeMovieMaker©, with "Record"
and the wrong date and time flashing annoyingly in the corner:::
Une: Want you're hair to be as sexy as mine?
:::Cameraman tries to do another trick, but trips over his own tie and
falls over:::
*static*
:::Cuts back so the only Lady Une's legs below the knees are visible.::
Une:::Hunches over::: Ummm, then use TK: Trieze Kushrenada hair care
products, for women or the ambiguously ga.. AHH! Shit! I lost a
contact! DAMNIT! TURN THAT THING OFF!
*Fade To Black*
*Scene cuts back in to the FlexoRama studio, where Christina, Sam,
Relena, Duo, and Heero are trying to figure out what to do with Zech's
stiffening corpse.*
Sam: Great, now he's stuck in that shape. How are we gonna explain
that?
Duo: Death by circus contortion?
Heero: We could blame it on a marauding New-Age massage therapist.
Relena: Umm, guys, were on.
Christina: PLACES EVERYONE!
:::Sam and Duo discreetly kick Zech's corpse offstage.:::
Relena: :::Straddles a piano stool which is in the room for no
adequetly explained reason::: And we're back! Heero, why don't you tell us more about the FlexoRama? :::Bats her eyelashes at him while continuing to molest the piano stool:::
Heero:::Smiles a smile that looks like a grimace::: It's an exercise
device, Relena.
Relena: ::Swetadrops::: And?
Heero: If you flirt wih me one more time I'll rip off your god-damn
ti....
Christina:::Smacks him with a cactus before he finishes his sentence:::
Lets keep this clean.
Heero: :::Winces::: Okay! The Flexo-Rama is the newest in exercise
devices, providing the ultimate in calorie-burning-muscle-toning workout experience!
Relena: Call 1-800 555-FlexoRama! Our operators are stading by!
:::Shows the operators, Dorothy, Trieze, Wufei, and Noin, all snoozing
lightly around a bunch of phones:::
Relena: :::Sweatdrops::: Ummm :::Hisses to Sam::: What are we
supposed to do now? Zechs was supposed to be doing most of it!
Sam: I dunno. Go to commercial.
Relena: We can't.
Sam: Okay here's what we're gonna do *Whisper Whisper*
:::Relena hands Sam her cell phone:::
Sam: Hello, Quatre? Umm, we need some help. Could you bring them? You
will? Great. How long few minutes? All twenty nine? Okay! Thanks! Bye!
Relena: And now, the FLEXO RAMA DANCERS!!!
:::Quatre comes onstage, wearing spandex that exposes FAR more then
anyone outside of rabid hentai fanatics or child molesters have ever wanted to see:::
Relena:::A look of raw disgust knifes across her face, and she falls
backwards off her stool:::
Quatre: ::Begins doing a lively irish jig to the theme music from
"RiverDance".::
Sam: Quatre, damnit, I thought your sisters were gonna dance.
Quatre: I reliazed they all couldn't fit in Sandrock.
Christina: We wanted feminine dancers! Not dancers that ACT feminine.
Quatre: What are you implying?
:::Dorothy Walks onstage from the operators booth, and smiles::: Hi
Honey, what are you doing here?
Quatre: Just buisness, sweety. ::Gives her a kiss:::
Sam: ::So shocked his spiky hair falls flat:::
Christina: My entire universe has been turned upside down.
Duo: ::Choking on every word::: You..mean he's not well, umm
Quatre: I don't have to take this. C'mon, Dorothy, the backseat of
Sandrock awaits us.
Dorothy: There's no backseat in Sandrock
Quatre: I just some towels behind the pilot's seat. C'mon!
:::They run offstage, giggling:::
:::Duo is at the sink, scrubbing his ears bloody with a pumice stone:::
Still... not... clean... must... get.. images.. out... of... head.....
Duo: What's this "We"?
(Authors note: Bet you thought I was gonna do a takeoff on the old
"Ohmigod-we killed kenny" thing, didn't you? Well, I didn't! SO THERE!)
Christina: Go to commercial!
Heero: THIS IS A COMMERCIAL!!!
Sam: JUST DO IT!
*Fade To Black*
:::Lady Une is on the beach, wearing a tight black evening gown that
offers minimal complience with decency laws. Her hair blows out, smooth and silky, into the light ocean breeze:::
Une: Tired of split ends, Girls?
:::Camera angle shifts, the top of her head an a certain part of the
front of her dress are visible, the switches back:::
Une: Tired of having hair that just won't go where you want it to go?
:::Camera zooms in on her crossed legs and eight-inch high-heeled shoes
that look to be the greatest miracle of suspension since the Golden Gate Bridge.:::
Une: You want your hair to make a STATEMENT, Ladies?
:::Camera does a nifty 360 degree turn so it focuses on her ass, spins
wildly on it's tripod, makes a buzzing noise, and sparking wildly, slams into the roof of the set::::
*Static*
::::Camera cuts back in on a Poloroid HomeMovieMaker©, with "Record"
and the wrong date and time flashing annoyingly in the corner:::
Une: Want you're hair to be as sexy as mine?
:::Cameraman tries to do another trick, but trips over his own tie and
falls over:::
*static*
:::Cuts back so the only Lady Une's legs below the knees are visible.::
Une:::Hunches over::: Ummm, then use TK: Trieze Kushrenada hair care
products, for women or the ambiguously ga.. AHH! Shit! I lost a
contact! DAMNIT! TURN THAT THING OFF!
*Fade To Black*
*Scene cuts back in to the FlexoRama studio, where Christina, Sam,
Relena, Duo, and Heero are trying to figure out what to do with Zech's
stiffening corpse.*
Sam: Great, now he's stuck in that shape. How are we gonna explain
that?
Duo: Death by circus contortion?
Heero: We could blame it on a marauding New-Age massage therapist.
Relena: Umm, guys, were on.
Christina: PLACES EVERYONE!
:::Sam and Duo discreetly kick Zech's corpse offstage.:::
Relena: :::Straddles a piano stool which is in the room for no
adequetly explained reason::: And we're back! Heero, why don't you tell us more about the FlexoRama? :::Bats her eyelashes at him while continuing to molest the piano stool:::
Heero:::Smiles a smile that looks like a grimace::: It's an exercise
device, Relena.
Relena: ::Swetadrops::: And?
Heero: If you flirt wih me one more time I'll rip off your god-damn
ti....
Christina:::Smacks him with a cactus before he finishes his sentence:::
Lets keep this clean.
Heero: :::Winces::: Okay! The Flexo-Rama is the newest in exercise
devices, providing the ultimate in calorie-burning-muscle-toning workout experience!
Relena: Call 1-800 555-FlexoRama! Our operators are stading by!
:::Shows the operators, Dorothy, Trieze, Wufei, and Noin, all snoozing
lightly around a bunch of phones:::
Relena: :::Sweatdrops::: Ummm :::Hisses to Sam::: What are we
supposed to do now? Zechs was supposed to be doing most of it!
Sam: I dunno. Go to commercial.
Relena: We can't.
Sam: Okay here's what we're gonna do *Whisper Whisper*
:::Relena hands Sam her cell phone:::
Sam: Hello, Quatre? Umm, we need some help. Could you bring them? You
will? Great. How long few minutes? All twenty nine? Okay! Thanks! Bye!
Relena: And now, the FLEXO RAMA DANCERS!!!
:::Quatre comes onstage, wearing spandex that exposes FAR more then
anyone outside of rabid hentai fanatics or child molesters have ever wanted to see:::
Relena:::A look of raw disgust knifes across her face, and she falls
backwards off her stool:::
Quatre: ::Begins doing a lively irish jig to the theme music from
"RiverDance".::
Sam: Quatre, damnit, I thought your sisters were gonna dance.
Quatre: I reliazed they all couldn't fit in Sandrock.
Christina: We wanted feminine dancers! Not dancers that ACT feminine.
Quatre: What are you implying?
:::Dorothy Walks onstage from the operators booth, and smiles::: Hi
Honey, what are you doing here?
Quatre: Just buisness, sweety. ::Gives her a kiss:::
Sam: ::So shocked his spiky hair falls flat:::
Christina: My entire universe has been turned upside down.
Duo: ::Choking on every word::: You..mean he's not well, umm
Quatre: I don't have to take this. C'mon, Dorothy, the backseat of
Sandrock awaits us.
Dorothy: There's no backseat in Sandrock
Quatre: I just some towels behind the pilot's seat. C'mon!
:::They run offstage, giggling:::
:::Duo is at the sink, scrubbing his ears bloody with a pumice stone:::
Still... not... clean... must... get.. images.. out... of... head.....