Day Four
***DISNEYLAND RAILROAD***
[Dave] I think I'm going to go to Tom Sawyer's Island today.
[Deb] That's nice.
[Cleo] I think I'm going to do some shopping.
[Abby] Sounds like a good idea!
[Kerry] Count me in.
[Deb] What the hell, I'll come too.
[Cleo] Cool.
[Peter] I think I'll go to the Haunted Mansion.
[John] Hey, me and Luka are going to New Orleans Square. You want to come with us.
[Kerry] Luka and I.
[John] What?
[Kerry] You said 'me and Luka.' That's grammatically incorrect. It should be Luka and I.
[John] Whatever.
[Luka] She is right, you know.
[John] Does it look like I care?
[Luka] You know what, it doesn't.
[Peter] Gee, that's incredible.
[John] I may have been a mockable med student once, but I'm not now!
[Peter] So? I'm still going to mock you.
[John] Wow. You have REALLY changed.
[Peter] Ya think so? I wasn't sure.
[Cleo] Word to the wise Peter. Learn to recognize sarcasm when you hear it.
[Peter] Uh, okay. Why do you say that?
[Cleo] Ugh! Forget it.
[Peter] You never brought it up.
[Dave] Hey, you know that crazy author person?
[Deb] Yeah?
[Dave] What did she mean by there being a TV show?
[Deb] There is a TV show called ER that is all about us.
[Dave] Us?
[Deb] Yup.
[Dave] So why don't we have any royalties? And is this on TV right now?
[Deb] We don't have any royalties because we are fictitious characters. And this is not on TV because of the disclaimer.
[Dave] What disclaimer?
[Deb] That disclaimer.
[Disclaimer] I DO NOT own ER. A bunch of rich Hollywood producers do. I don't even know all of them. I certainly wish I owned ER and if I did, it would be a much different show. Plus I would be rich. I don't own Disneyland either. I wish I owned it too. I'm undoubtedly not making any money on this story. That's about all. Oh, right. Luka is HOT!!!!
[Dave] God, that was strange.
[Deb] What do you expect from the crazy person who is writing this?
[Dave] Good point. Hey Luka! Did you get a look at this?
[Luka] What?
[Dave] This.
[Luka (blushing)] Well, I don't know about that... Aren't disclaimers supposed to be at the beginning of the story?
[Conductor] We are now arriving at New Orleans Square.
[Peter] Yo Luka! Screw the disclaimer; we're getting of here.
[Luka] 'K. See you guys later.
[Kerry, Deb, Cleo, Abby and Dave] Bye!
***HOTEL POOL***
[Romano] Look at Lizzy!
[Sea Gull] Now which one is she?
[Romano] The one with the frizzy reddish hair, in that sexy swimsuit.
[Sea Gull] Oh.
[Romano] Isn't she the sexiest thing here?
[Sea Gull] Damnit dude, I'm a sea gull. How should I know?
[Elizabeth] Mark, Robert is looking this way.
[Mark] Does he always talk to sea gulls?
[Elizabeth] Oh, is that a sea gull? I thought it was a towel.
***PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN***
[John] This is like my favorite ride here!
[Luka] I get the idea you've been here before.
[John] You kidding? My family's yearly pilgrimage to Disneyland is the major reason I haven't committed suicide.
[Peter] Is this ride ever going to begin?
[Kovacsgirl] Here it goes!
[Peter] Not you again!
[Kovacsgirl] Look, this is my favorite ride in the whole park. I'm not going to miss a chance to go on it.
[John] Mine too!
[Kovacsgirl] I know.
[Peter] Of course. She's the author.
[Luka] Can you answer my question?
[Kovacsgirl] Sure. We've got time...
[Talking Skull] ...And remember, dead men tell NO tales.
[Peter] God, that's sweet.
[John] You just keep switching personalities on me. One minute you're a dumb a Dave, then you're as sarcastic as Deb, or Cleo, or Romano.
[Peter] Yeah... Oh, look! Treasure! See you later!
Peter jumps out of the boat and runs for the treasure.
[Kovacsgirl] You're not going to get very far.
[Peter] Damn, the treasure is stuck on there!
[Kovacsgirl] I would suggest you come back here.
[Peter] Fine.
He gets back in the boat.
[Kovacsgirl] Now, where was I? Oh right. This is my screen name. My pen name is Cori, as you saw on the first day, and my real name is... Well, you can't know that one.
[Luka] Would you tell me if...
[Kovacsgirl] Sorry, you can't say that. This is supposed to be a PG fic. Yesterday was already PG-13. My boss won't let me do any more 13s in this series. But you can check out "Luka's Harmony," at fanfiction.net or fanfiction.ertvonline.com if you want to talk about THAT.
[Luka] Will you answer the question?
[Kovacsgirl] Nope. Can't. It's against the Fan Fic Authors of the World's rules.
[Disembodied Voice] Dead Men Tell no tales!!!
[Peter] I know! God, this is a boring ride.
[Luka] What do you mean?
[Fan Fic Fairy] See, it says right here...
[Kovacsgirl] Give me that! 'No author may engage...'
[Luka] Give me that! Oh, damn.
[Kovacsgirl] This is really pointless. Five pages into the story and it is a bunch of ramblings.
[Peter] Isn't that the purpose of the story?
[Kovacsgirl] Not really. If I wanted a bunch of ramblings then I would write it.
[John] You know, you could.
[Kovacsgirl] Maybe. That's a good idea. Thanks guys.
[John] Anytime
[Peter] You have to give me credit!
[Kovacsgirl] Maybe. Probably not. That would look strange, especially since you're not real.
[Peter] What do you mean? You're talking to us aren't you?
[Pirate] Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum!
[John] I love this song! Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum!
[Fan Fic Fairy] Ummm, ducks, you have appeared to written spoilers in a non-spoilers story.
[Kovacsgirl] What? Where?
[Fan Fic Fairy] In 'Day Three' you wrote that Mark is having brain surgery and Kanysia destroyed Cleo's house. If this is October of 2000, then these events haven't occurred yet.
[Kovacsgirl] Where does it say that?
[Fan Fic Fairy] FFAW rulebook. Clause 3917, sub-point Z. 'No spoilers are permitted in a non-spoiler story.'
[Kovacsgirl] Oh, good point. I've never read past sub-point Q. I'll have to go fix that. See you guys later.
She disappears
[Luka] Damn. Do you know how close I was to...?
[John] Yeah, I have a feeling I do.
[Luka] Maybe you could write a fic...
[John] Don't get your hopes up. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
[Pirate] Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!!!
***TOM SAWYER'S ISLAND***
[Dave] I wonder where all the people are? Maybe I should go back to the raft dock.
He gets there only to find that it's roped off.
[Dave] Gee, that's funny. I better check the map. 'Tom Sawyer's island closes at five.'
He glances at his watch.
Damn, it's five thirty. I guess I'll just have to hang out here on this island. ...All night...without any food...when it's dark...and scary things come out... OH GOD, SAVE MY POOR TORTURED SOUL!!!!
***MAIN STREET USA***
[Kerry] That scream...
[Deb] It sounded kinda like Dave.
[Abby] Nah. Come on, I see a really cute shirt at the emporium.
***STAR TOURS***
[Luka] Hey, there's Mark and Lizzy! Guys, over here!
[Mark] Hi. We just got here.
[John] We're going on Star Tours.
[Elizabeth] Great! We'll go with you. That's what we were going to do.
[Peter] Great.
[Mark] Where are Kerry, Cleo, Abby, Deb, and Dave?
[Luka] The girls are shopping.
[John] And Dave is at Tom Sawyer's Island.
[Mark] Doesn't that close at five?
[Peter] Yeah.
[John] Oh god, its quarter to six.
[Elizabeth] Oh well, it will teach him to be on time.
[Mark] Kerry will be happy to hear that.
[Peter] And Romano.
[Elizabeth] Do you know he talks to sea gulls?
[Luka] Who?
[Elizabeth] Robert!
[Luka] Right, I knew that.
[R2D2] Beep, Beep, Blip.
[Elizabeth] Ohhhh! He's so cute.
[Mark] It's a hunk of metal.
[Elizabeth] Awwwww. Let's adopt him!
[Mark] Lizzy, he doesn't need to be adopted.
[Elizabeth] Oh, right. Forget it.
[Peter] This line is moving quickly.
[Lucy] Number in your group.
[John] Um, one, two, three...five.
[Lucy] Okay, row two.
[John] Lucy?
[Lucy] Carter?
[John] What are you doing here?
[Lucy] This is the happiest kingdom on earth.
[John] I know, but you're dead.
[Lucy] I got a job here. They get a lot of people from heaven.
[John] Oh. Want to get dinner later?
[Lucy] Sorry, I'm dead, I can't.
[John] Whatever.
[Elizabeth] See ya later, Luce.
[Lucy] Bye Lizzy!
***Tom Sawyer's Island***
[Dave] Anyone?
[Owl] Whho, Whho.
[Dave] What was that!?
[Mongoose] Scritca, Scritca, Scratch.
[Dave] Hello?
[Ghost] Boo!
[Dave] A ghost!
[Ghost] It's almost Halloween. What do you expect?
[Dave] Good point.
[Mongoose] Echk, Echk!
[Dave] Agh!
[Mongoose] I'm going to get you David!
[Dave] My forth grade teacher Mrs. DeVil! Save me!
[Mongoose] Bwa Ha Ha!
***DISNEYLAND RAILROAD***
[Dave] I think I'm going to go to Tom Sawyer's Island today.
[Deb] That's nice.
[Cleo] I think I'm going to do some shopping.
[Abby] Sounds like a good idea!
[Kerry] Count me in.
[Deb] What the hell, I'll come too.
[Cleo] Cool.
[Peter] I think I'll go to the Haunted Mansion.
[John] Hey, me and Luka are going to New Orleans Square. You want to come with us.
[Kerry] Luka and I.
[John] What?
[Kerry] You said 'me and Luka.' That's grammatically incorrect. It should be Luka and I.
[John] Whatever.
[Luka] She is right, you know.
[John] Does it look like I care?
[Luka] You know what, it doesn't.
[Peter] Gee, that's incredible.
[John] I may have been a mockable med student once, but I'm not now!
[Peter] So? I'm still going to mock you.
[John] Wow. You have REALLY changed.
[Peter] Ya think so? I wasn't sure.
[Cleo] Word to the wise Peter. Learn to recognize sarcasm when you hear it.
[Peter] Uh, okay. Why do you say that?
[Cleo] Ugh! Forget it.
[Peter] You never brought it up.
[Dave] Hey, you know that crazy author person?
[Deb] Yeah?
[Dave] What did she mean by there being a TV show?
[Deb] There is a TV show called ER that is all about us.
[Dave] Us?
[Deb] Yup.
[Dave] So why don't we have any royalties? And is this on TV right now?
[Deb] We don't have any royalties because we are fictitious characters. And this is not on TV because of the disclaimer.
[Dave] What disclaimer?
[Deb] That disclaimer.
[Disclaimer] I DO NOT own ER. A bunch of rich Hollywood producers do. I don't even know all of them. I certainly wish I owned ER and if I did, it would be a much different show. Plus I would be rich. I don't own Disneyland either. I wish I owned it too. I'm undoubtedly not making any money on this story. That's about all. Oh, right. Luka is HOT!!!!
[Dave] God, that was strange.
[Deb] What do you expect from the crazy person who is writing this?
[Dave] Good point. Hey Luka! Did you get a look at this?
[Luka] What?
[Dave] This.
[Luka (blushing)] Well, I don't know about that... Aren't disclaimers supposed to be at the beginning of the story?
[Conductor] We are now arriving at New Orleans Square.
[Peter] Yo Luka! Screw the disclaimer; we're getting of here.
[Luka] 'K. See you guys later.
[Kerry, Deb, Cleo, Abby and Dave] Bye!
***HOTEL POOL***
[Romano] Look at Lizzy!
[Sea Gull] Now which one is she?
[Romano] The one with the frizzy reddish hair, in that sexy swimsuit.
[Sea Gull] Oh.
[Romano] Isn't she the sexiest thing here?
[Sea Gull] Damnit dude, I'm a sea gull. How should I know?
[Elizabeth] Mark, Robert is looking this way.
[Mark] Does he always talk to sea gulls?
[Elizabeth] Oh, is that a sea gull? I thought it was a towel.
***PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN***
[John] This is like my favorite ride here!
[Luka] I get the idea you've been here before.
[John] You kidding? My family's yearly pilgrimage to Disneyland is the major reason I haven't committed suicide.
[Peter] Is this ride ever going to begin?
[Kovacsgirl] Here it goes!
[Peter] Not you again!
[Kovacsgirl] Look, this is my favorite ride in the whole park. I'm not going to miss a chance to go on it.
[John] Mine too!
[Kovacsgirl] I know.
[Peter] Of course. She's the author.
[Luka] Can you answer my question?
[Kovacsgirl] Sure. We've got time...
[Talking Skull] ...And remember, dead men tell NO tales.
[Peter] God, that's sweet.
[John] You just keep switching personalities on me. One minute you're a dumb a Dave, then you're as sarcastic as Deb, or Cleo, or Romano.
[Peter] Yeah... Oh, look! Treasure! See you later!
Peter jumps out of the boat and runs for the treasure.
[Kovacsgirl] You're not going to get very far.
[Peter] Damn, the treasure is stuck on there!
[Kovacsgirl] I would suggest you come back here.
[Peter] Fine.
He gets back in the boat.
[Kovacsgirl] Now, where was I? Oh right. This is my screen name. My pen name is Cori, as you saw on the first day, and my real name is... Well, you can't know that one.
[Luka] Would you tell me if...
[Kovacsgirl] Sorry, you can't say that. This is supposed to be a PG fic. Yesterday was already PG-13. My boss won't let me do any more 13s in this series. But you can check out "Luka's Harmony," at fanfiction.net or fanfiction.ertvonline.com if you want to talk about THAT.
[Luka] Will you answer the question?
[Kovacsgirl] Nope. Can't. It's against the Fan Fic Authors of the World's rules.
[Disembodied Voice] Dead Men Tell no tales!!!
[Peter] I know! God, this is a boring ride.
[Luka] What do you mean?
[Fan Fic Fairy] See, it says right here...
[Kovacsgirl] Give me that! 'No author may engage...'
[Luka] Give me that! Oh, damn.
[Kovacsgirl] This is really pointless. Five pages into the story and it is a bunch of ramblings.
[Peter] Isn't that the purpose of the story?
[Kovacsgirl] Not really. If I wanted a bunch of ramblings then I would write it.
[John] You know, you could.
[Kovacsgirl] Maybe. That's a good idea. Thanks guys.
[John] Anytime
[Peter] You have to give me credit!
[Kovacsgirl] Maybe. Probably not. That would look strange, especially since you're not real.
[Peter] What do you mean? You're talking to us aren't you?
[Pirate] Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum!
[John] I love this song! Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum!
[Fan Fic Fairy] Ummm, ducks, you have appeared to written spoilers in a non-spoilers story.
[Kovacsgirl] What? Where?
[Fan Fic Fairy] In 'Day Three' you wrote that Mark is having brain surgery and Kanysia destroyed Cleo's house. If this is October of 2000, then these events haven't occurred yet.
[Kovacsgirl] Where does it say that?
[Fan Fic Fairy] FFAW rulebook. Clause 3917, sub-point Z. 'No spoilers are permitted in a non-spoiler story.'
[Kovacsgirl] Oh, good point. I've never read past sub-point Q. I'll have to go fix that. See you guys later.
She disappears
[Luka] Damn. Do you know how close I was to...?
[John] Yeah, I have a feeling I do.
[Luka] Maybe you could write a fic...
[John] Don't get your hopes up. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
[Pirate] Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!!!
***TOM SAWYER'S ISLAND***
[Dave] I wonder where all the people are? Maybe I should go back to the raft dock.
He gets there only to find that it's roped off.
[Dave] Gee, that's funny. I better check the map. 'Tom Sawyer's island closes at five.'
He glances at his watch.
Damn, it's five thirty. I guess I'll just have to hang out here on this island. ...All night...without any food...when it's dark...and scary things come out... OH GOD, SAVE MY POOR TORTURED SOUL!!!!
***MAIN STREET USA***
[Kerry] That scream...
[Deb] It sounded kinda like Dave.
[Abby] Nah. Come on, I see a really cute shirt at the emporium.
***STAR TOURS***
[Luka] Hey, there's Mark and Lizzy! Guys, over here!
[Mark] Hi. We just got here.
[John] We're going on Star Tours.
[Elizabeth] Great! We'll go with you. That's what we were going to do.
[Peter] Great.
[Mark] Where are Kerry, Cleo, Abby, Deb, and Dave?
[Luka] The girls are shopping.
[John] And Dave is at Tom Sawyer's Island.
[Mark] Doesn't that close at five?
[Peter] Yeah.
[John] Oh god, its quarter to six.
[Elizabeth] Oh well, it will teach him to be on time.
[Mark] Kerry will be happy to hear that.
[Peter] And Romano.
[Elizabeth] Do you know he talks to sea gulls?
[Luka] Who?
[Elizabeth] Robert!
[Luka] Right, I knew that.
[R2D2] Beep, Beep, Blip.
[Elizabeth] Ohhhh! He's so cute.
[Mark] It's a hunk of metal.
[Elizabeth] Awwwww. Let's adopt him!
[Mark] Lizzy, he doesn't need to be adopted.
[Elizabeth] Oh, right. Forget it.
[Peter] This line is moving quickly.
[Lucy] Number in your group.
[John] Um, one, two, three...five.
[Lucy] Okay, row two.
[John] Lucy?
[Lucy] Carter?
[John] What are you doing here?
[Lucy] This is the happiest kingdom on earth.
[John] I know, but you're dead.
[Lucy] I got a job here. They get a lot of people from heaven.
[John] Oh. Want to get dinner later?
[Lucy] Sorry, I'm dead, I can't.
[John] Whatever.
[Elizabeth] See ya later, Luce.
[Lucy] Bye Lizzy!
***Tom Sawyer's Island***
[Dave] Anyone?
[Owl] Whho, Whho.
[Dave] What was that!?
[Mongoose] Scritca, Scritca, Scratch.
[Dave] Hello?
[Ghost] Boo!
[Dave] A ghost!
[Ghost] It's almost Halloween. What do you expect?
[Dave] Good point.
[Mongoose] Echk, Echk!
[Dave] Agh!
[Mongoose] I'm going to get you David!
[Dave] My forth grade teacher Mrs. DeVil! Save me!
[Mongoose] Bwa Ha Ha!