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Chapter Five: Kiken (Danger) |
I don't know what demon possessed me that night. Ordinarily, I would have turned down his invitation with a laugh at the thought I could be so stupid.
Obviously, I am.
Koganei-san had praised me for my good work. I felt quite pleased; even after all this time I felt I had proven myself, yet he still watched me with that eagle eye. The same calculation he applied to his Rubix cube, his business deals, and everything else was extended to include me.
Others were not watched so carefully. I knew only I was.
Perhaps that was why his words of praise elicited such a warm response; perhaps that's what tore down my barriers. The wall between employer and employee disintegrated for a few moments; and that's when he invited me to dinner as a reward for my dedication.
I accepted. Normally, no matter how much I would have loved to, I would have refused. Koganei-san is an intriguing person; I feel that if I watch him and learn from him, I'll go far in the world. He seems to have a vast storehouse of knowledge, and not just dealing with the boring day-to-day business of banking and the financial industry. He has a certain glow to him... someone who's experienced Life, in a variety of facets.
Perhaps that's what draws me closer to him... the feeling that he's experienced so much. An adventurer, perhaps, disguised in suit and tie.
Perhaps it was that same feeling I received from him that kept the warning-bells from sounding. I had looked up to him as a student looks up to a teacher for the first six months. Yet now, that invisible barrier seemed to be disintegrating. Our relationship seemed to be progressing to the next stage.
Perhaps I was being considered for promotion.
In any case, I decided that as long as he was comfortable, I would be all right. After all, he had seniority over me, and I wouldn't allow my timidity to damage what might be my opportunity to succeed.
Opportunity, of course, has its limits-- I have my pride, after all. But dinner wouldn't hurt, would it?
We had a terrific time. It was quite a blur, thinking back on it-- we had dinner, had several drinks, chattered about everything under the sun. I found myself warming to him. He had an amazing personality which I had suspected existed, but had no idea the extent to which his charm reached. He could hold his own discussing everything and anything, with a certain panache-- from making catty comments on the outfits of passers-by, to global politics.
I was intrigued. I had respected, liked, and looked up to Koganei-san, and was enamored to discover this new aspect of his personality.
We ended up at his apartment for a little something to eat, a little more to drink, and a little more chitchat. Perhaps I had misgauged my tolerance-- perhaps the limit of my inhibitions were a little fuzzied by a combination of so many factors.
It wasn't long before the distance between us diminished into nothingness. His arms were around me; the softness of his lips brushed against my cheek; I could feel the warmth of his breath on my skin.
Perhaps I should have stood up and left.
But I didn't.
A mean-spirited person might accuse me of having ulterior motives, but as odd as it seems, the Koganei-san on the couch next to me wasn't the same man as the one who sat in the office. Rather, this was someone else entirely... a gentle, witty, handsome man with potential as a lover.
The age difference didn't matter. The social difference didn't matter. All that filled my thoughts was the amazing chemistry between us.
I responded to his attentions, first softly, then more aggressively. It seemed like it had been ages since I had been with anyone-- there was an acute feeling of achiness which pleaded to be attended to.
His hands, lips, teeth, tongue-- they reminded me of my own femininity. It sounds like a silly thing to forget, but it takes the experience of being reminded to fully comprehend my emotions.
He took me by the hand, drawing me closer. With soft wordless murmurs, he trailed soft kisses down my neck.
He turned off the lights and led me further into the depths of the apartment.