Caroline and the Bad Timing
By TJ
The door opened and Caroline stumbled inside her apartment.
Annie's voice rang out from behind the fridge door. "Caroline! I wasn't.."
Caroline ignored her and slammed the door shut behind her and locked it, leaving her key in the lock. She turned and braced her back against the door as she slid to the floor, tears streaking her red blotchy face.
"Oh my god! What's happened?" Annie ran to her side and knelt before her.
Caroline didn't answer because she couldn't find the words to describe her anguish.
Between her sobs Annie must have managed to hear one word - Richard.
"Richard, what?" Annie reached out and touched her shoulder. "What? Is Richard okay?"
Caroline didn't say anything but managed a weak nod.
"Then what's wrong?" Caroline's hair was a mess and Annie soothingly smoothed down the dishevelled tufts. "Caroline, you're scaring me. Tell me what's wrong?"
"Richard…Julia." She croaked between gasps.
Annie shook her head not understanding. "Julia… I don't know anyone called Julia."
I wish I didn't either. Caroline hugged herself and remained silent.
"Come on Honey." Annie stood dragging her to her feet. "You can't stay on the floor. Get up."
Caroline stood shakily and Annie was clearly shocked at the pain on her face. Annie removed her coat then guided her to the sofa. "You stay there and I'll make us some tea."
She went to the kitchen and Caroline collapsed back on the sofa. Why did I go around there? She cried harder at the injustice of it all. If I'd spoken up sooner maybe he…. Her thoughts ended there she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. I am such a fool.
Annie joined her on the sofa. "What? Who's a fool?"
Caroline started, she didn't realise she'd spoken aloud. "I said I'm a fool." She said quietly a quiver in her voice.
Annie handed her a cup of Tea. "Why are you a fool? What's wrong?
Caroline took a few sips and the tea warmed her as it hit her stomach. Thank god Annie's here, I need someone to talk to. She looked at Annie's concerned face and smiled trying to find the words to explain. "You remember back when Del proposed and you and Remo said that Richard had a thing for me?"
Annie nodded.
"Well it got me thinking about stuff, about Richard."
Annie nodded again.
"It started when Richard came back from Paris. It wasn't until he returned that I realised just how much I'd missed him. I know it's hard to believe but as time went by and we became closer, I knew that I had feelings for him."
"You do?" Annie asked shocked.
"Yes." That one word opened Caroline's floodgates and a new batch of tears fell.
Annie rubbed her shoulder. "So, who's Julia?"
Caroline tensed at the name but answered. "Julia was…is Richard's Sincere Amour."
Annie pursed her lips thinking. "Sincere Amour…oh, I remember you telling me about that. The love you never have to question?"
"Yes. Years ago Richard was involved with her but she left him and broke his heart. I guess that's why he was so distant and cold to everyone. Anyway a couple of days ago Richard met her again and well… he panicked when he found out she was marrying Marcello so he told her I was his wife."
"What?"
Caroline shrugged. "I didn't see any harm in it. I mean Julia hurt him and if pretending to be married saved him from further hurt, I didn't mind."
"That makes sense." Annie agreed knowing what length Caroline would go to, to help others.
"Well Julia invited us out for dinner so we could meet Marcello and that it was a nightmare."
"Why?"
"Because Julia clearly still had a thing for Richard and when their song came on he danced with her - without any persuasion too." She added clearly miffed.
"Their song?" She asked.
"I don't what it was, some song came on and they both got nostalgic and danced. Well Marcello was furious and so was I. We danced trying to make them jealous - it didn't work, they we're too caught up in each other. Anyway, Marcello finally cut in and I finally got to dance with Richard..…"
Annie saw Caroline's hesitation. "Go on." She encouraged.
"We were dancing and suddenly I had this…fantasy…of me and Richard kissing…in bed…naked." She blushed as Annie's mouth dropped open. "I know, it shocked me too, I didn't realise until then that I felt that way about him."
"What did you do?"
"I pulled away from him and returned to my seat. I left him on the dance floor alone because I was too embarrassed to be near him." Caroline shook her head. I can't believe I just left him like that and he looked so hurt too. She looked at Annie and continued. "Anyway the next day Julia turns up here and tells me she's broken it off with Marcello because the love she has for him doesn't compare to the love Richard and I had."
"Wow!"
"So I phoned Richard and told him to come over…I mean, as far as Julia knew we were married. Then she asked if she could sleep over."
Annie groaned. "You didn't?"
"Yep, I let her stay." Caroline confirmed with a rueful grin. "We had to sleep in my bedroom and it was horrible. He was clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea and that made me even more nervous. Anyway, he ended up sleeping on the floor. I woke up and went downstairs and saw Richard kissing Julia and I just flipped. I slapped him across the face, really hard."
"Why?"
"I was furious, how could he cheat on me?"
"You weren't really married." Annie pointed out.
Caroline looked away embarrassed. "I know but I knew that I had feelings for him and I was so angry, it felt like he was cheating on me for real."
"Then what happened?"
"Julia grabbed her clothes and left and Richard asked why I'd slapped him."
"What did you do? Did you tell him your feelings?"
"I couldn't. He enjoyed that kiss and I was too embarrassed. I told him that I was just doing what a wife would have done if we were really married."
"And what did he say?"
Caroline looked off into space as she recalled his reaction. "Nothing. He sort of looked away, looking, I don't know, sad - maybe - hurt? I'm not sure, anyway he left and I spent the rest of the night and most of the day thinking about what I was going to do."
Annie held Caroline as more tears fell down her cheeks. "Tell me what happened honey, you can't keep it all bottled up."
"Last night I decided that I was going to tell him how I felt. So I was gonna call him, I thought that leaving him a message would be easier, that way he wouldn't be able to laugh in my face. So I dialled his number and I heard his machines' opening message and I backed out. If I was going to tell him my feelings I needed to tell him to his face, you know."
Annie nodded then jumped up. "Wait!" She went in to the kitchen. "Let's get some Whisky in these drinks." She returned to the sofa pouring some alcohol in both mugs. She explained her actions. "Well considering the state you're in I've got a feeling I'm not gonna like how this ends."
Caroline took a long drink then spoke. "So it was about 11pm when I got to his place." She looked at her watch. "I can't believe it was only 3 hours ago." Caroline smiled sadly as she recalled the scene for Annie. "I knocked on his door and after a long moment it opened…."
… "Caroline what are you doing here?"
Richard was dressed for bed. He was wearing pyjama bottoms and a plaid robe, which he was holding close with one hand. Caroline couldn't help but stare as she imagined herself slipping that robe of his shoulders.
"Are you okay?" He asked, as she remained silent.
Caroline flinch embarrassed and swallowed nervously, her throat suddenly dry. "Yeah, I guess." No I'm not, I'm gonna be sick! She cleared her throat. "Richard I need to tell you something can I come in?"
"Er…Well I'm…er…"
He seemed nervous and reluctant to let in and she knew that if she left she'd never find the courage to tell him. "It's okay, I'll just tell you." She looked at him and froze not sure how to proceed. "I just wanted to tell you…that I…"
He looked at her expectantly, and under his gaze, she stammered as she began to lose her nerve. Don't back out now Caroline. "…that I…" She fell silent.
"What?"
He shifted his feet and Caroline panicked. See, he's getting impatient - come on girl, you can do it! "I've been giving this a lot of thought and well, I realised that things have changed between us. Well at least for me…" She bit her bottom lip nervously. "I didn't think this would be so difficult to say…" She confessed.
Richard stepped forward. "Then just tell me." He said softly.
Caroline took a deep breath and let her feelings rush out all in one breath. "I'm in love with you and I was wondering if you might feel the same way about me."
Just then a floorboard creaked and Caroline's gaze was drawn inside Richard's apartment.
"Reechard, who is at the door?"
Caroline saw Julia step into view, wrapped only in a short towel.
"Oh, hello Carolina." Julia smiled upon seeing her, tucking the towel securely around her frame.
"Oh God!"" Caroline gasped aloud and grabbed the doorframe for support. She dared a look at Richard and wished she hadn't for he was looking mortified. God, he's disgusted with me! He can't even look me in the eye. "I'm so sorry Richard, I didn't know." She said as tears ran down her face.
She looked to Julia, seeing the look of realisation dawn on her face. I bet she thinks this is hilarious. Caroline backed away from the door as tears blurred her vision. "I should just go!" She turned and ran down the hallway…
… Annie hugged her friend as she finished her story. "Oh, Caroline."
Caroline held her tightly as her shame wracked her body. "I should have known it was never gonna be that easy. The one time in my life I actually take a risk and it blows up in my face." She laughed harshly. "You should have seen the look on his face, he was appalled." She pulled away and looked at Annie urgently. "How am I ever going to face him now?"
Annie's eyes also looked glassy with tears. "I don't know."
"Me neither." She said as she collapsed against Annie holding her as her sobs heaved her body.
Loud banging startled them and they jumped apart and stared at the door.
"Caroline! It's me Richard, are you there?"
Caroline shook her head frantically. "Don't answer." She whispered.
Annie nodded and held Caroline's trembling hand.
The door rattled and they heard his key in the lock. Caroline stood up frantically looking for some place to hide but then remembered she'd left her keys in the lock preventing Richard from unlocking the door. It's okay he can't get in.
He banged on it a few more times but after several minutes they heard the elevator doors open and close.
"I think he's gone now." Annie whispered. "Why didn't you want to talk to him?"
"Because it's too late, Julia's back and I've lost him."
Annie shook. "Maybe he was here to tell you he loves you too."
"No, he doesn't." The image of his face after she'd expressed her love was etched forever on her mind. "The look on his face convinced me of that."
Annie hugged her. "What are you going to do?"
Caroline stepped back and rubbed her face tiredly. "I need to get away from all this."
"Are you sure?" Annie asked. "Because even if you don't talk to him now you'll have to face him sometime, he does work for you."
"I'm positive." Caroline said determinedly and headed for the stairs. "Come on, you can help me pack."
Once packed and ready to go, Annie put Caroline's case by the elevator and pressed the call button.
"Caroline I wish I could go with you but I can't afford it, I'm broke. Plus I need to find a job before I get evicted."
Caroline hugged Annie. "I know. I'll be fine and you're right, you should stay here."
"You know, you still haven't told me where you're going?"
"That's because I don't know. I'm just gonna see what flights are available and pick one."
"Do you want me to go to the airport with you?"
Caroline shook her head. "No you look tired, go and get some sleep. I'll be fine."
Annie kissed Caroline. "Call me as soon as you can, okay?"
Caroline laughed. "You're like a Mother Hen, don't worry I'll phone you. Now go!" She joked as she pushed Annie towards her apartment.
"Okay. See-ya."
Caroline watched Annie stumble into her apartment. I never did ask her why she's back so soon.
The elevator arrived and Caroline picked up her case. I'll spend a few weeks alone and when I get back everything will be fine. She stepped into the elevator and Annie's words came back to her.
'If you don't talk to him now you'll have to face him sometime.'
Doubts and fears consumed her as the elevator doors closed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Annie!"
Annie moaned and turned over and fell off the edge of the sofa.
"Oops, are you okay?" Her mother asked.
Annie sat up rubbing her forehead, glaring at Angie. "Yeah, I like falling off things."
Angie grimaced. "I'm sorry about that but I'm going out. Now that you're back I've got to get more shopping." She turned to leave but stopped. "Oh, and welcome back Sweetheart." She kissed Annie's hair then left.
Annie got up moaning. What's so good about being back? It just means I got fired. She showered and dressed. Well it sounds like we've got no food but I know someplace that will.
She went out and walked into Caroline's place. "Oh, Morning Salty." She greeted as Caroline's cat meowed at her.
She fed Salty then began making a fresh batch of coffee.
The door opened and she turned to see who was there.
"Well, hello Richard."
Richard stood by the fish tank looking like a dear caught in headlights. "Annie." He said dismissing her he was not in the mood to deal with her.
Annie sipped her coffee looking at him over the mug's rim.
He glared at her. "What?"
"How's things?" She asked neutrally.
Richard pinched the bridge of his nose thinking about last night. "If you must know - awful."
She smiled at his honesty. "Oh?"
"Never mind." He didn't want to get involved in some shouting match. He looked around. "Where's Caroline?"
Annie shook her head. "She isn't here."
"She's not." He asked stepping towards her. "Then where is she?" He asked urgently. God last night was terrible I've got to see her.
"I dunno," she answered, "are you sure you want to see her?"
He glared at her then noticed how tense she seemed. Oh great! "She told you didn't she?" He groaned silently when she nodded.
Annie nodded. "Way to go, Richie! If this is what you do to your friends I'd hate to see what you do to your enemies."
"Whose enemies?"
They both turned as Del entered the loft.
Richard rolled his eyes. Why does everyone have to show up here? "Take no notice, Annie's just being her usual bitchy self."
Del shrugged uninterested. "Okay. So, where's Caroline?" He asked as he went over to the partners' desk, looking at panels. "I have some ideas to run by her."
"She isn't here." Annie answered.
Del turned and noticed the friction between the two. "Ok, what's going on?"
Annie spoke up. "Last night Caroline told Richard how she feels about him."
Del perked up. "Really?" He saw the glances his friends were throwing at each other. "So?" He asked warily.
Annie put down her mug and walked around the counter towards Del. "Well what Caroline didn't know was that Lover-boy here," she pointed angrily at Richard, "was… how shall I put this…he was entertaining Julia."
"Oh God." Del said then sat down heavily on Caroline's chair leaning on the desk. "This is bad."
"I'll say." She glared at Richard then sat on the chair by the sofa.
Richard glared back but he felt bad about what had happened so he took Annie's abuse silently. If only I'd have told Julia to leave, none of this would be happening - I wouldn't be disgusted with myself and Caroline wouldn't…. He frowned as he remembered the look on her face last night. God I really hurt her. He felt his chest tighten with unshed tears. Get a grip Richard - don't give Annie the pleasure of seeing you cry. He wished he could be certain he wouldn't but as last nights events replayed in his mind he knew it was only a matter of time before his emotions got the best of him.
"This is all my fault." Del moaned banging his head against the desk.
Annie looked at him suspiciously. "It is? How?
Del turned and faced them. "Yesterday Caroline met me for lunch and she told me about her feelings for Richard."
"She told you?" Richard asked and Del nodded sadly. If she discussed this with him, she must really love me. He looked at Del's stricken face. I wonder how he feels about that. "And what did you tell her?"
"I told her that I always felt that there was something between you and her and that she should tell you her feelings."
"Well she took your advice." Annie pointed out.
Del turned away from her angry glare and rounded on Richard. "How could you do this to Caroline?"
Richard sat on the sofa. "Hey, I didn't think Caroline felt anything for me." He knew first hand what it was like to be humiliated, he thought about his escape to Paris and grimaced. If she's going through only half of what I did then she's gonna be in so much pain.
Annie nudged his knee with her shoe. "Well it didn't take you long to jump on Julia, did it? She's only been back for - what - 2 days?"
Richard moved his leg from her reach. "Annie shove it." He said nastily. I don't need her to make me feel any worse than I already do.
Annie laughed harshly. "Hey, that's your problem - shoving it where it don't belong."
"Okay you two." Del snapped. "This isn't helping." He looked at Richard. "Ok so Caroline caught you with Julia, didn't you say anything to Caroline? What happened?
Richard sighed knowing that he wouldn't have any peace unless he told them. "Caroline said she was in love with me then Julia stepped around the door and Caroline ran off. I shouted after her but didn't stop." He hung his head in shame.
"You know Richard, this is all your fault." Annie snapped annoyed. "If you had told Caroline that you loved her sooner then none of this would have happened."
Del sat up at that comment. "Wait a minute, what do you mean he should have told her sooner?"
Richard gazed down at his hands knowing that Del wouldn't be pleased about his letter to Caroline.
"Hey, come on - what?" Del insisted.
Richard looked at Del deciding it was time to stop hiding from his love for Caroline. "I wrote Caroline a letter that said I was in love with her." He explained about the circumstances and Del's face reddened as he finished.
Del stared at him incredulously. "You were gonna steal Caroline away from me?"
Richard blushed shamefully. "I'm sorry but at the time I was madly in love with her, I couldn't bare to be without her. I'm sorry Del."
Del nodded then smiled. "It's okay man, like I told Caroline yesterday we weren't mean to be. I'm not angry," he insisted, "I just can't believe you've been in love with her all this time and said nothing. You should have."
"I know." Richard replied softly the pain stabbing his heart.
Annie nudged his leg again. "Well this is all well and good but what happens now?"
Richard shrugged unhappily. "I don't know."
Annie wasn't going to make it easy on him though. "Well are you with Julia or what?"
Richard stared at her in surprise. She really thinks that I'd be with Julia after Caroline told me she loves me? He shook his head. "No. Julia isn't…..I don't love Julia. I haven't for a very long time. Besides Julia could see how devastated I was last night." He told them what happened…
…"Reechard?"
Richard closed the door as Caroline's footfalls faded away.
"Hmm?" He said too distracted by what had just happened to answer. Did Caroline just say she loves me? He found it hard to believe. The one thing I've dreamed of and it's all gone horribly wrong!
"Are you okay?"
He stared at the floor and all he could think of was what Caroline had said. She loves me. He tried convincing himself. Caroline loves me.
"Reechard, speak to me." Julia insisted as she touched his shoulder.
He flinched at her touch but turned to look at her. "What?"
"She is in love with you?" She asked patiently.
Richard nodded slowly. I didn't imagine it - Caroline was really here.
"And do you love her?"
"Yes." He whispered softly. And how do I show her that? By sleeping with an EX. She looked so embarrassed, how am I ever going to face her? He closed his eyes against the sudden pain.
"Why did you make love to me?"
Richard looked up at her question and examined Julia as he examined his feelings. He was surprised to find that he didn't feel anything romantic towards Julia at all. "I was lonely I guess and it's been along time since anyone's wanted me."
"I see." She turned and gathered up her clothes. "I thought that we could give this another try but now…" She quickly dressed and Richard went over to the sink for a glass of cold murky tap water.
Julia dressed and after finding her purse stood in front of Richard. "If you love her then you will have to tell her."
Richard choked on his water. "After what just happened? She'll never want to see me again, let alone talk to me."
"Perhaps, but it took a lot of courage for her to come here and tell you of her love. Don't you think she deserves the same courage from you?"
He looked away. "But what if she doesn't want to see me?"
Julia smiled sadly. "Then you will miss out on all the love she has offered you. Don't be a fool Reechard, fight for your love and for hers."
He stared numbly at her. She's right, hiding from my pain will only hurt Caroline even more.
Julia must have seen his resolve because she kissed him softly on the cheek. "Good-bye Reechard and good luck." She turned and walked out of his apartment and his life…
… Richard looked between Annie and Del. "I don't know how long I stood there but I eventually got showered and dressed then came around here but the door was locked."
"She didn't want to see you."
He pinned Annie with a glare. "She heard me? You were with her?"
"Yes to both." She stood stretching her tired body. "So you slept with Julia because you were lonely?"
Richard grimaced. How do I explain this? "Look I know it sounds pathetic but while you and Del have had your one night stands and Caroline's been with Joe I've had no-one. I know I hide it well but I don't enjoy being alone and when Julia came back and made it clear she wanted me… I…wanted to feel loved."
Annie touched his shoulder tenderly. "I don't think you're pathetic."
Richard groaned bracing himself for some sarcastic remark. "Please don't start."
Annie shook her head. "I wasn't going to. I was just thinking about your life, you've had a lot of rough breaks."
Richard patted her hand gratefully. "And this one is the worst. The woman I love told me she feels exactly the same way and she catches me with another woman."
"Well Julia was your Sincere Amore."
Annie and Richard turned to Del. "You know about that?" Richard asked.
Del shrugged. "Caroline told me about it a while ago."
Richard nodded. "The more I think about it the more I realise she wasn't. The love that I once felt for Julia can't even begin to compare to what I feel for Caroline. Caroline's everything to me without her my life is meaningless." His voice thickened, with unshed tears as he spoke. "I spent three months in Paris without Caroline and it was hell." His voice trailed off as tears fell down his face.
"Richard!" Annie hugged him as his shoulders shook. She turned to Del. "We have to do something but what?"
"Perhaps you two could leave."
They all turned to the stairs.
"Caroline!" Annie let go of Richard and stepped towards her. "I though you'd left."
Caroline descended the stairs and stopped near the counter. "I changed my mind. Running away would have only delayed the inevitable." She looked at Del and Annie meaningfully. "I think Richard and I need to talk."
Del smiled in relief as he headed for the door. "Sure."
Annie followed him out. "Let me know what happens." She whispered as she passed Caroline.
Richard tears still on his cheeks stood and faced Caroline. "I'm so sorry about last night, it didn't mean anything I was hurt and lonely."
Caroline smiled and indicated for him to sit down. "Lonely, I understand but hurt?" She sat opposite him on the wooden chest in front of the sofa.
Richard looked at her then down at his hands. "You remember when I asked you why you slapped me? I foolishly thought that you were going to tell me you had feelings for me."
"But I told you I was just acting." She said sadly. I should have told him the truth then.
"I left thinking that you could never love me, I'd never felt so alone in my life. I went downstairs and Julia was there, she was just putting her shoes back on. She didn't want to go back to her hotel for fear of running into Marcello so I invited her back to my place." He looked at Caroline her face betraying her hurt. I'm not going to hide anything from her. I don't want anything to come between us again.
"Go on." Caroline encouraged.
"We were in my apartment and I went to the bathroom and when I came back out she was in my bed naked. I should have told her to get out but she said she wanted me and…" He looked at Caroline. "It's been along time since anyone's said that to me and because I believed you never would, I slept with her. I guess I wanted to prove to myself that I was desirable that I was worthy of love. I'm so sorry Caroline."
Caroline smiled. I know you are. "You know Richard you shouldn't feel bad it wasn't like you were cheating on me."
Richard smiled at her concern. Even after everything she's been through she still cares about me. "I know but the look on your face when you saw Julia. It was like all the light in your soul went out and it was because of me." He reached for her hands. "No-one should ever do that to you."
Caroline removed a hand from his grasp and gently wiped away the remainder of his tears. "It's okay, I know you never meant to hurt me." She smiled as his eyes closed clearly enjoying her touch. He is so gorgeous! She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips.
His eyes shot open at her kiss and he moaned against her lips. She still loves me? He returned the kiss with equal vigour afraid that this was dream.
Caroline pulled away and smiled into his shell-shocked face. "I love you Richard."
Richard felt tears fall again but he didn't care. "I love you Caroline. I always will."
Caroline felt her own tears fall as she leaned forward to kiss him.
He held her tightly as he pulled her into his lap. "I love you so much. Please forgive me for hurting you."
Caroline ran a hand through his hair and kissed him tenderly wiping away all the doubts and sadness. She pulled away and looked him straight in the eyes. "It's not your fault there's nothing to forgive."
He reverently touched her face seeing the truth there. "I'm so lucky to have you. I love you so much it hurts."
Caroline settled into his embrace. "Believe me the feeling is mutual." Her eyes brightened as an idea occurred to her. "I'm gonna tell you this now, so there's no confusion." She toyed with the collar of his shirt and looked at him through her lashes. "I do want you."
Richard felt desire rush in his veins and pulled her closer. "I want you too." He breathed against her mouth.
Caroline felt her skin grow warm as his hands roamed over her body. God I want him but it's only been hours since he slept with Julia. Aloud she said. "But maybe we can wait a while before taking things further?"
"Sure." Richard agreed knowing that they both needed time to adjust to their relationship.
"Trust me, it'll be worth the wait." She winked and saw Richard's eyes widen. She laughed pleased with the effect she was having on him. She pressed closer and began nibbling his neck.
Richard took a deep breath trying to get his libido under control but he breathed in her scent and he had to push her away slightly. "I've never doubted it wouldn't but let's not wait to long," he confessed groaning as Caroline nibbled on his ear, "a man can only take so much."
The End.