Disclaimer : Sailor Moon and its character don't
belong to me.
Dear Diary: Lonely Reflection
Dear
Diary Feb,23
Hello, today is February 23 and this is the first entry of my
new diary. I had a huge history test last week and as always I got a perfect
score. I still could feel those scornful glares I had received when I walked
though the crowd of students to check my score. I could still hear those
hateful remarks I had heard in the school's hallway. Every glare, every remark
was burned deep in to my mind and my memory. I know that I was meant to neither
hear nor see those scrutinizes or the comments, and that my peers were just
jealous, but it still hurts, so very much. I have never told anyone of my
feeling except for you, not even the other scouts. Oh, don't get me wrong, I
love them dearly but I don't think that I'm able to tell them what I experience
each day. Beside, I don't want them to meddle or as they say 'help' me with my
problems. Today the girls and I went to the café together, and of course Darien
came as well. I envy them so very much, diary, despite of all her faults,
Serena had a heart of gold and despite of his seriousness, Darien had a
wonderful personality, they are perfect together. I could feel a twinge of envy
every time I see or even thinks of them, their love is some thing I can only
dream of. I never I a boyfriend, I never been kissed before. There is of
course, Greg, but he's just a close friend and I don't have any romantic
feelings for him, not anymore. I don't know how he feels about me, but I truly
hope that it's not serious because I don't wish to hurt him. You know diary, I
don't even know what love is until I met the infamous couple, Serena and
Darien. Before, all I knew of romance and love was from those cheap romance
novels I used to hide under my mattress. I wonder what Raye. Lita, Mina and
Serena would think when they found out that I 'Amy the practical' read romance
novels, I bet that they would have a heart attack. But they will never
understand the reason why I loved to read romance novels so much, those books
shows me what I never experienced as a child, the love between a man and a
woman. Sure, my parents loved me, but they didn't love each other. Well, I'm
sure that they loved each other once upon a time or they would never have get
married. But all I remembered was them arguing day after day, night after
night, each time the words would be harsher and the names would be more
unpleasant than before, the fights usually would end when mom either bust in to
uncontrollable tears or dad leaving the house with a slam of the door. I can't
remember how many time I shed silent tears in the security of my aqua blue
room. Do you know that even then I knew how to hide from my inner demons by
working. That's why I study and read so much, to get away from the nagging,
cold and empty feeling of that dark void that had occupied my heart. Sometimes
diary I wish that I was never born, I'm sure that anything would be better than
being scorned by your classmates and being lonely all the time, and sometimes I
wonder if Serena, Raye, Lita, Mina and Darien will still be my friends if I
wasn't a sailor scout. No, I know that it isn't true, I'm sure they will still
care for me even if I wasn't a scout because they are superb people who have
large and compassionate hearts. But sometimes I still wonder… Well anyway I
have to stop writing since I have to study for a math exam.
Amy
Author's Note: I sorta think that this one stinks, I wrote half of the story ages ago but didn't finish it, now I have a lot of time on my had so I decided to finish it. So what do you thinks? Do you like it, hate it? Well, please review and if you wish please email me at luna_star28@hotmail.com . Oh, I don't tolerate flames. Bye!