Reviresco
By Arian
Part2
They walked to the derelict building that Squall and his friends had grown
up in and as he watched Raine, Squall realised that she wasn't exactly
transparent, as he'd first thought. He could see everything behind her
quite clearly but if he concentrated, she grew a little more substantial.
It was as if she was flickering, faster than he could see, and somehow both
the image of her and the image of what he would normally see registered in
his mind, superimposing on each other.
Edea stood, waiting, in the ruins of her orphanage. She smiled serenely
as they approached, but no surprise registered on her features.
/Nothing has ever been able to startle Matron./ Squall reflected.
"Matron, this is Raine, my mother." He didn't give any further explanation
of Raine's identity. It wasn't necessary. His life story had circulated
Garden and, to his disgust, he found that most of the students knew more
about him than he himself knew.
Edea simply nodded and turned her eyes to Raine.
"You understand what has happened? And you want us to try to destroy the
flower? I will do what I can to help, but I can't guarantee that this will
work. It may be that the flower is truly eternal and nothing we do will
make a difference, or we may succeed and there is no change to your state.
Do you still want us to try?"
"Yes. Whatever happens is better than this." Raine answered without
hesitation. "Thank you, for looking after Squall and Ellone and for all
you did for them."
"You know that is not necessary." Edea chided gently.
Raine nodded. "It seems wrong not to say it, though."
"Matron." Squall interrupted, anxious to put his plan into motion. "I
think I have an idea, about how to help Raine. Surely Esthar would have
the technology to help."
Rinoa stared at him and a little of the colour drained from her face.
"What are you playing at?" She muttered under her breath.
"I'm not /playing/ at anything. Esthar really is the best place to go."
Squall wondered just how Rinoa always managed to see right through him.
"Perhaps, Squall." Edea thought for a moment. "But there are some things
we need to know first. Rinoa, I really need to know what was running
through your mind when you cast the spell. Our best hope is that you missed
something and we can use that flaw to our advantage."
Rinoa frowned slightly. "I was just thinking about Squall and Raine."
"Did you make a mental list? Of things that you wanted to protect the
flower from?"
"No. I don't remember doing that."
"Do we have to try /everything/, then?" Raine asked in dismay.
"Only the eight elements, and sheer physical force. If they don't work it
starts to get complicated." Edea smiled ruefully. "We can't do this here
though. It will take time and this place is in ruins. We'll also have to be
careful about where we go and who we involve in this. We don't want to
cause trouble by parading a genuine ghost - sorry Raine - across a couple
of continents. I think the best place we can go is Esthar."
Squall cheered in the silence of his mind. /Thank you, Matron! That's
exactly what I wanted!/
"I really don't think that's such a good idea..." Rinoa muttered, looking
warily at Raine.
"Why?" Raine asked, confused.
"Laguna and Ellone are there."
"Oh." Raine stood silently for a while, then she looked up. "Well, they
don't /have/ to see me, if they don't want to. They don't even have to
know."
/Dammit! She's ruining my plan!/ "Esthar, then?" he said, out loud.
Edea nodded. "It's best. Dr. Odine is there if we need any assistance."
Squall ran through his plan silently, as the four of them walked the short
distance to the Ragnarok. /She'll be in Esthar, that's the main thing. I'll
work out the rest once we get there. Sis and Laguna won't let her go, and
once she sees them, she won't want to leave./
***************
"We'll stay with Laguna." Squall said as they sat on board the Ragnarok
some time later. He ignored Rinoa's glare. "That palace or whatever is big
enough."
"Staying there would give us good access to Dr. Odine." Edea approved.
/Not to mention good access to Sis and Laguna./ Squall thought.
"Palace?" Raine asked, frowning.
"Laguna's the president of Esthar now." Rinoa stopped glaring at Squall
long enough to answer.
For a moment, Squall thought his mother was going to burst out laughing,
but her blue eyes widened briefly and she settled for a look of amused
wonder instead.
"...Unexpected." She said at last.
"A bloody miracle might be a more accurate way of putting it." Squall
muttered.
"Why is it so surprising?"
He stared at Raine, not quite believing the question, thinking carefully
of an answer that wouldn't hurt her.
"Well, he's not exactly a genius, for a start."
"Does it take a genius to run a country?"
/Obviously not./ Squall snickered in the depths of his mind, but Raine
continued, oblivious to his comment.
"Clever men have never done Galbadia any good, I know that. I think he'll
do well." Her eyes shone as she spoke. "He has... I don't know. There
isn't a word for it. A sparkle? Something like that. An indefinable
quality that draws people to him. You have it too, Squall. You might push
people away, but no matter what you do, they stand by you."
"Garden looks up to you." Rinoa agreed.
/You think I don't know that? That's why I work so hard. To try and make
sure I don't fail all these responsibilities people keep piling on me./
"Whatever." He answered, smiling to take the indifference out of the
expression.
***************
Squall waited impatiently in a small room in the lower levels of the
Presidential Palace. There had been no question of entry being denied and
Rinoa had used sorcery to whisk Raine inside without being noticed.
"Finally!" He breathed as Kiros and Ward entered the room.
"Hello, Squall. What - " Kiros stopped suddenly and the colour drained
from his face as Ward tapped his shoulder and pointed to the far corner of
the room.
"Raine?" The strangled whisper escaped from Kiros and he crossed the
short distance towards her. "What...?" he shook his head, lost for words.
"Explain. Please?"
Edea told the story while Ward and Kiros continued to stare at Raine, eyes
wide.
"I don't want Laguna to know. I don't want to hurt him." Raine added.
"We can arrange for you to have this floor to yourselves for a while. As
long as you all stay here, you won't run into anyone. Odine is around
somewhere, if you need to speak with him." Kiros looked to Ward for
confirmation. "We won't tell Laguna. Not if you don't want us to."
"Thank you."
Squall watched as they walked out, and then turned to Edea.
"Matron, what do we do now?"
"What we came here to do. We have to try to find a way to unmake this
rose."
"I can't stay here. I can't... I'm going for a walk. I'm sorry." He
glanced quickly over to Raine and walked to the door.
/I can't sit in there, watching them try to send her away. I don't want
her to go! I have to get her to change her mind./
He headed to the top of the building, despite what had been said about
staying on the lower level, and opened the door to the presidential office.
Laguna was lounging in his chair, legs stretched out on the desk.
"Hi, Squall." He grinned at his son.
/Does he ever actually /do/ anything? Every time I walk in here, he's just
passing the time./ Squall wondered, idly.
"I need you to help me with something."
"Sure." Laguna paused. "Why so serious?"
Squall hesitated for a moment. /Is this right? Should I do this? I don't
want to lose my mother again!/ That thought screamed in his mind, overriding
any doubts.
"I want you to go and talk to Raine."
"What are you talking about?" Squall heard the faint edge of panic in
Laguna's voice.
"She's here. Downstairs. She's... I don't know, a ghost, or something."
/Squall the Tactful, that's what I should be called. I hate saying stuff
like this, I always get it wrong! And this is a wonderful example of me
getting it wrong./
"Oh no... no, she can't be." Laguna paced back and forth, shaking his
head in disbelief. "No. I don't believe you. It's some kind of bad joke,
isn't it?"
"No. I wouldn't joke about something like this. Besides, I'm the
workaholic SeeD, remember? We don't joke. Especially not like this."
"The dead are at peace. They don't... They can't walk." He muttered to
himself. "I don't like what that... No."
Squall finally lost his temper.
"Well, you don't have to believe me! Come and see for yourself! That's
why I came up here. I want you to talk to Raine. She doesn't want to be the
way she is. She wants us to send her back to wherever she was. You can't
let her leave again!"
"She's dead. And even if she were here, I wouldn't see her. I wouldn't
ever ask her to stay, either."
"For once in your life, stop behaving like a child! Don't let her go.
Please." Squall was completely confused. Why was he so willing to let her
slip back into nothing? What was wrong with him?
"No. I can't do that, Squall. Grow up and think about it from someone's
point of view other than your own." Laguna turned his back, and Squall
stormed out, making his way back to the lower levels of the building.
***************
Rinoa turned from the flower as the door was flung open, thinking that
Squall had returned. The figure that entered was familiar, but it wasn't
Squall who stood there. It was Ellone.
"I got the story out of Kiros. Is it really true?" She asked quickly.
"Yes." Raine stepped forwards and elation shone in Ellone's eyes.
"I hoped so much. I didn't dare believe it."
"Don't get your hopes up, Elle. I'm not staying." Raine warned softly.
"I know. But you're here now, and there's so much I want to tell you!"
Raine turned to back Rinoa. "Do you mind if we take a break? So I can talk
to Elle for a while?"
"No problem. None of the GF's worked anyway, so I need to talk to Edea."
Rinoa shrugged and left them to talk.
***************
Squall walked quickly back to the room, lost in his own thoughts. Just as
he was about to open the door, Ellone walked out.
"Sis! Great! I wanted to speak to you. You've already seen Raine?"
"Yes!" Ellone breathed. "I'll do anything I can to help."
Squall got a sudden foreboding that things weren't going his way. "What
are you talking about?"
"If you need me to do anything to help Raine, you only need to ask." She
explained. "You could say that I owe her."
Squall groaned. "Sis!"
"What?" she asked, unaware of what he'd wanted her to say.
Squall was about to say something else when an idea struck him. /No, wait,
I can use this./
"I've had this idea about how to help Raine." He lied. "I really need
Laguna to come and speak to her first, though. The problem is that he
doesn't want to."
"He /what/?"
"Could you help?" Squall asked, wide eyes feigning innocence.
"Don't worry, Squall. I'll get him down here." Elle promised, trusting
Squall's judgement that Laguna's presence was a necessity.
"No need to tell him about the idea, or anything. Just get him to talk to
her." /That should be enough. It has to be./
***************
Raine sat alone, watching her white flower with a pensive expression on
her face. They would have to find something that worked soon, she knew
that Squall was up to something. She could read it in his face. He didn't
want her to go, Raine knew that, but she did not want to stay. She couldn't.
It was so difficult for her to concentrate on what they were saying, on
everything that went on around her. She was so tired and only wanted
oblivion, but it seemed that was too much to ask.
She pitied Squall. He couldn't change her mind, no matter what he did,
but he had inherited her stubbornness and would keep trying.
/He's going to hurt people if he keeps doing this./ She realised suddenly.
/I won't stop him though. Maybe I want him to change my mind. Maybe I want
him to make leaving so difficult that I have to stay. Think of that! Being
able to stay with him, Elle and Laguna! Wouldn't it be wonderful!/
/But the pain and hurt of missing all those years is still there and will
always be there. I wish it didn't matter, but it does. Just being here
hurts more than I can stand./
/I want to see Laguna! You can't./ She told herself angrily. /You can't
hurt him. You cannot do that. Besides, you know that if he asked you to
stay, you would. Despite everything you would stay with them if he asked
you to... I don't think he'd do that, but is that a risk I can afford to
take?/
"I want to go home." She whispered quietly, puzzling at the words as she
said them.
/Where is home? I don't know anymore./
She quickly switched to another subject. /Squall and Ellone - How much
they've grown!/ It was hard for her to adjust her images of them from a
baby and a hyperactive six year old, to what they had become. It wasn't so
bad with Elle, because she looked much the same, but Squall she had only
seen once, as a newborn baby, and the only similarity left was his grey
eyes.
Not for the first time, she sat and wondered how she could bring herself
to leave them now, when the choice was her own.
/They have lives to live, choices to make and future to live for. If I
stay, I'll end up pulling them down into death with me. I would never do
that deliberately but it would happen. I know it would. There are too many
reasons why I can't stay!/
Raine returned her thoughts to her son and amused herself for a while by
dissecting his character traits. There were many that were entirely his
own, but some she recognized.
/Stubbornness - that's from me, independence - I was never really that
independent. I liked to think I was, but I relied on others a little more
than they knew. Maybe he's like that, too. He certainly gets that "sparkle"
from Laguna. And the structure of their faces is so similar!/
/Except Laguna smiles.../
She laughed quietly to herself and waited for Squall and Rinoa to return.
***************
Ellone walked hurriedly through the corridors, clutching at the
ever-present green stole that hung from her arms in an attempt to stop it
from falling to the floor.
/Squall must have misunderstood. Of course Uncle Laguna will want to talk
to Raine. Or maybe it was Laguna who didn't understand Squall. Squall has
never been terribly good at expressing himself. Once Laguna understands,
he'll be as happy as I am!/
Ellone had only recently been able to forgive herself for the part she
had played in Raine's death and although she knew Raine would never have
blamed her for causing Laguna to leave Winhill, for years she had blamed
herself. Now, to be able to talk to Raine and say she was sorry, just to
be able to see her, even if it was only for a short time, was more than
Ellone had hoped for. Raine had to leave, Ellone could accept that, even
if she couldn't understand it.
She pushed open the door to the office and stepped over to Laguna where
he stood gazing out of the window. He did that a lot, she noticed. Almost
as if he couldn't believe what he saw, despite having seen it nearly
everyday for years. It was a fantastical city, she had to admit, almost
beyond belief.
"Hey, Elle." He said as he noticed her approach.
Ellone's mind suddenly reverted to how it had been the last time her
family had been together and she ran the rest of the distance.
"Raine's here!" she gasped, excited. She tugged gently at Laguna's hand,
as if she were once again the tiny, bubbly girl he had met in Winhill.
He looked bemusedly at Elle for a moment, wondering at her sudden change
in demeanour. Then her words sank in.
"You've been talking to Squall?"
Ellone nodded and tugged at his hand again. "Come and see her!"
"No, Elle. I'm sorry, but I can't do that." He shook his head.
Ellone's mood abruptly faded and for a brief moment she marvelled at a
side of her that she thought had died with Raine.
"Why?" she asked, dropping his hand in confusion. "You love her."
"Yeah. I do." He said, a little wistfully. "But I can't see her like that.
I can't handle it. All this time it's been a small comfort that... Ah I
don't know." Laguna shrugged. "That wherever she was, she was happy. She
was at peace, or whatever." He smiled sadly for a moment. "If she wasn't,
she'd have made sure I knew about it, wouldn't she?"
"Now it turns out that she's here. What does that mean, Elle? Wasn't she
happy where she was? It hurts too much for me to think about it."
"You can't mean that. You have to see her! She'll be gone soon and you
won't get another chance!" Elle burst out, suddenly angry at him.
"I've fixed all I needed to fix." He said quietly. "I don't need another
chance."
"What about her? She wants to see you!"
"Did she say that?" Laguna looked up quickly.
"No, but of course she does. She doesn't have to say it, I can tell."
Ellone glared at him, daring him to deny it.
"If... if Raine asks for me... then I'll see her."
"But she won't do that!" Elle shouted in exasperation.
"Look, Elle, whatever I do, it doesn't make any difference. She's still
dead." The word caught in his throat and he turned away.
Ellone stared at him in disbelief. "So that's it? Just for an instant my
family can be together again and you've decided to spoil it! Do you know
what that means to me and to Squall, after growing up in an orphanage? Do
you have any idea what it was like?"
"We wouldn't be together because Raine isn't alive. Maybe she's here, but
it's not the same as being together."
"Come and speak to her!" Ellone insisted desperately, in one last attempt
to sway Laguna's mind.
"Dammit, Elle, I /can't/!" he yelled back at her and instantly regretted it
as the girl's round face scrunched up and she ran from the room.
***************
Squall strolled into the room with a slightly smug look on his face,
convinced Ellone would succeed where he had failed.
"You look pleased with yourself." Raine smiled, looking up as he entered.
Squall nodded and was about to reply when Ellone came flying through the
doors, tears running down her face.
"I tried, Squall! But it's no good, he won't listen!"
Squall's smug look dissolved into consternation and he swore softly to
himself. So much for his plan.
Raine's horrified eyes settled on her son, realising a little of what he
had meant to happen. As Squall looked back at her, his eyes caught a glint
of white.
"OK, Sis. It doesn't matter." He said calmly. "Why don't you go and dry
your eyes."
Ellone nodded and walked out, leaving Squall and Raine alone.
"How close to the flower do you have to stay?" he asked casually.
Realization hit Raine instantly and she watched him pick the rose up.
"Don't do this, Squall. I know you don't understand a lot of what's going
on here, but for his sake and mine, don't do this."
"I have to." He said simply and took the flower through the door.
Raine stood for a moment, hoping that his crazy idea wouldn't work, then
she felt a force hit her back and she was pulled after him.
She walked behind Squall, feeling that walking was a little less
demeaning than being dragged.
"You can't do this, Squall."
"Don't you know the first thing teenagers do when you tell them they
can't?" he answered blandly.