Part 5: Creative Control
"Let me see if I understand this," Guy said slowly. "Gene, Hotaru, and Homniyo are gonna charge in there and take apart everything that moves?"
"Right," Jim said.
"THAT'S your plan?!"
"Of course not. It's Gene's. My plan is to get some more help."
"What about Duo & Ryoko?"
"Well, once I managed to pry Hotaru away from them, I put them in the regeneration tanks. But it'll be a while before they can come out."
Guy sighed. "So we're still screwed."
"Unless you have a plan, yes."
Guy thought for a moment. Then his eyes widened. "That's it! I know what we can do!"
Jim blinked. "Really? What?"
"No time! Just get me a phone, quick!"
* * * * *
"So. Ideas?" Sakura asked quietly.
"Nope," Sammy replied. "You?"
"Fresh out." Sakura swallowed noisily. "Uh...but we can't lose. We're the good guys, right?"
Sammy shrugged. "Well, there's four of them, and two of us. Besides, they're OUTSIDE the magical cage. With the keys. They have powers, while ours...seem to have vanished."
"So...we're screwed?" Sakura asked.
Sammy nodded. "Yeah."
Sakura sighed. "I was afraid of that."
On the other side of the room, Mistress Nine and her Sadist Scouts were waiting patiently. Well, some of them, anyway.
"This is boring," Aisha muttered. "Can't I go maul someone?"
"She told us to wait," Suzuka replied. "So we'll wait."
"But I'm BORED!"
"And if you don't stop whining, in a minute you'll be DEAD."
"Are you threatening ME?"
"No, I'm making you a promise."
"Suzu, you really-"
"Don't EVER call me that again."
Black Lady sighed and closed her eyes. "Did you really have to take them for your servants?"
Mistress Nine tapped her chin thoughtfully. "They're annoying, but they're strong. Much like Hotaru and her friends."
"I wish you'd let me kill her already."
"I told you, when Hotaru dies, I will be the one to do it."
"Then why do you insist on playing games with her?" Black Lady asked. "You've had several chances to kill her, but you never do."
"I want her to suffer as I did. To lose everything but the darkness inside her. And then she will lose even that."
"I think you're obsessed with her."
Mistress Nine didn't even blink. "Perhaps I am. It would only make her defeat all the more pleasant."
* * * * *
"Yugi, I understand that you want to be a Scout. I even understand that you came up with the idea for the show. But what I can't understand is how you got Dad to agree."
Yugi glanced at Trunks in the mirror and continued to apply eye-liner. "I didn't. He doesn't know yet."
"Uh...you didn't tell him?"
"Nope."
"Yugi, he's going to find out sooner or later."
"Which is why my favorite big brother is going to tell him," she added, smiling sweetly.
"No way. I like living."
"But you like me more. Right?"
"I don't like ANYBODY that much."
Yugi sighed. "Trunks, what was your life-long dream?"
"To become a Super Saiyan so I could save my world."
"Well, mine is to be a Scout. You got yours, so let me have mine."
Trunks shook his head. "No, Yugi. I'm not telling him."
"Fine. But when he asks you where I've gone, what will you say? You know he can tell when you're lying."
The color drained from Trunks's face. "You planned this, didn't you?"
Yugi smiled. "Yup!"
"I hate you."
"Love you, too, Trunks. Hand me that hair wrap, would you?"
Trunks picked up the red-and-black checkered hair wrap. "How do you get all your hair into this thing, anyway?" Then he looked up. "Oh."
Yugi's hair was standing up on her head. "Telekinetics, use number 3472: Easy hair-styling."
"I see." Trunks carefully placed the hair wrap on her head. "Did I do it right?"
"Yup. Thanks." Yugi made a few final adjustments and turned around. "So, what do you think?"
Trunks backed up a step. "Yugi, you look evil!"
"Really? Aw, you're so sweet to say that!"
"Yugi, I'm serious!"
"I heard you the first time, Trunks." Yugi hopped out of the chair and walked past him. "Good luck telling Vegeta about this."
"Wait! You didn't say anything about being evil!"
"I'm NOT evil. Not right now, anyway. This is just to strike fear in my opponents by making them THINK I'm evil and scary."
"You really think that'll work?"
Yugi grinned. "I know it will. I wrote the script."
* * * * *
"Homniyo, are you sure about this? You only woke up about an hour ago."
She smiled. "Relax, Jim. I'm fine, really. I'm just gonna help Hotaru beat Mistress Nine's evil butt, and then we'll be right back. Okay?"
Jim looked worried. "But you make it sound so simple..."
Homniyo reached up and patted his cheek. "It is simple, Jim. We win, she loses."
"But you don't even MMMPH!" Jim forget what he was saying as Homniyo suddenly kissed him.
A moment later, she pulled back, smiling even wider.
"Uh...what was that for?" Jim asked.
"Luck, of course."
"Right. Um...maybe you could use some more luck?"
"Yes," Homniyo agreed, pressing a finger to his lips. "After I beat Mistress Nine."
"But...but..."
"I told you to relax. We'll be fine. I've been showing Hotaru some moves, and I think she's ready."
"How can you be sure?"
Sailor Saturn suddenly walked into the room, carrying the Silence Glaive at her side. There was a violet fire in her eyes that made her seem quite formidable.
"Call it a hunch," Homniyo replied with a grin.
"But you're not thinking of going by yourselves, are you?" Jim asked.
"We can't wait for anyone to get here. We have to go now."
"I agree," Saturn said quietly. "Mistress Nine must be stopped as soon as possible."
Before Jim could protest, the two girls vanished. "Oh, crap. Guy's not gonna like this."
* * * * *
Sakura wasn't sure how long they'd been in the cage when a shadowy figure emerged from the darkness. "Who's there?" she asked.
The figure stopped by the cage, and a bright light appeared, blinding Sakura for a moment. As her eyes adjusted, she nearly screamed.
"You're Sakura, right?" the girl asked.
Sakura nodded. "Who are you?"
"Yugi. Old friend of Sasami's. You two okay?"
"Yeah. Sasami fell asleep, but...you don't really look like a good guy."
"I know, I get that all the time. Stand back for a minute."
Sakura obeyed, and Yugi closed her eyes. The cage shuddered for a moment, then melted away.
"How did you do that?"
"If I told you, my Dad would have to kill you."
Sakura blinked as she helped Sasami up. "What?"
"Never mind." Yugi glanced around. "I guess Duo & Ryoko aren't here yet, or the place would be in ruins. I'd better speed up the process." She pulled a paper from her pocket and began writing rapidly.
"What are you doing?" Sakura asked.
"Making a script change," Yugi replied. "Let's just hope it works."
* * * * *
"That's it!" Aisha roared. "I wanna maul someone, and you're elected!"
"Bring it on!" Suzuka shouted, raising her sword.
The two screamed and tackled each other, clawing and biting as if they'd lost their minds.
"What are they doing?" Black Lady asked.
"Some outside force must be controlling them," Mistress Nine answered. "They must be on their way."
"Correction," said Sailor Saturn as she materialized in front of them. "We're here."
Mistress Nine rolled her eyes. "Hurt her. Badly."
Black Lady started forward, but a pink blur flew by, knocking her to the ground with one kick. Homniyo landed beside Saturn, moving her hands in a strange pattern.
"I swear they're like cockroaches," Mistress Nine muttered. "Prepare to die, girls."
"Got that right," Black Lady growled as she stood up. "No one touches my face!"
"Hold it right there, Pinky!" Yugi said as she appeared overhead. "This is MY show, and I'm not gonna let you ruin it. YOU weren't even in the original script!"
"What in the world is she talking about?" Black Lady asked, taking a step back. "And shouldn't she be on our side?"
Yugi scribbled something down. "That should do it. Now, to deal with you." She raised her hand and wiggled her fingers.
"Uh...what's she doing?" Homniyo asked. "And who's side IS she on?"
"Ours, I think," Saturn replied. "We used to be roommates. Only she never looked like that while I knew her."
Suddenly, a huge chunk of crystal crashed through the ceiling and crushed Black Lady. The crystal broke, dividing into five large pieces. Among them was a dazed but unharmed Reenie.
"I should've known bringing you back would've caused trouble," Yugi muttered, glaring at Mistress Nine.
"It was your fault for never defining how powerful I was. Which leaves me free to do this."
A violet lightning bolt leaped from the woman's hand and slammed into Saturn's chest. She stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, the Silence Glaive landing beside her.
"NO!" Yugi shouted. "You killed my star! What about the show?!"
"I have no interest in your show. I only desire revenge."
Homniyo leaned over Saturn and gently shook her shoulders. "Saturn? Hotaru? Anyone?" But Saturn was still and silent, and the violet light had left her eyes.
* * * * *
Another fine mess you've gotten us into, Duo.
YOU were the one that busted the coffin, Ryoko.
Yeah, well, you shoulda stopped me!
Oh, right! I'm human, you're a demon. Who's gonna when THAT fight?
You Gundam pilots are all so negative and broody. Look at the bright side!
I almost forgot the bright side. Instead of being out there with Hotaru, I'm stuck in here...with YOU.
She never has to know, Duo. I won't tell her if you won't...*lover.*
Don't even kid like that! I still haven't forgiven you for that...that kiss!
Was it as good for YOU as it was for ME?
Ryoko, when we get outta here, you're gonna pay big time. I mean that.
Yeah, just like you meant it the other 375 times you said it.
Wait a minute. Ryoko, something's wrong. Hotaru...I can't feel her!
Duo, this is no time to fantasize about the kid.
No! She's not breathing! Ryoko, she's dead!
Hey, you're right! What's going on out there?!
I don't know, but she needs us. We have to get out--
NOW!
Jim screamed as the tanks exploded behind him, sending water and glass flying everywhere. Duo & Ryoko emerged, dripping wet and extremely pissed.
Jim blinked. "Uh...they already left, and-"
By that time, Duo & Ryoko were gone.
* * * * *
The scene had broken down into three fights. Aisha and Suzuka were still clawing each other, Yugi and Mistress Nine were arguing over what was and wasn't in the script, and Homniyo was demanding that Saturn start breathing again. In other words, nothing was getting done.
The wall exploded in a shower of debris, and Ryoko flew in. "Okay, who wants to die first?"
Yugi groaned in frustration. "NO! You were supposed to be here TEN minutes ago! Nothing is working right!"
"Yugi, what are you doing here?"
Duo appeared just then. "Who did it?!" he screamed. "Who killed her?!"
Everyone pointed at Mistress Nine.
"YOU'RE DEAD!"
Yugi tripped Duo as he ran forward. "No. I've had it. This ends NOW."
"What? What are you talking about?" Homniyo asked.
Yugi sighed and shook her head. "I'm canceling the show. This just isn't working out right."
The words were barely out of her mouth when Mistress Nine and the Sadist Scouts vanished.
"I'm never doing my own show again," Yugi muttered. "It's way too hard to get a good product."
"I'm missing something," Ryoko said. "What happened?"
Saturn sat up. "What's going on here? Where's Mistress Nine?"
"Gone, just like all the others." Yugi pulled off her head wrap and let down her hair. "You guys can go home now. This just isn't gonna work. I doubt we'll even make it to TV."
* * * * *
"And in other news, Cartoon Network's highly anticipated series, "The Saturn Scouts," is over before it could even begin. The show's creators decided it was, and I quote, 'something a child dreamed up.'"
Yugi groaned and buried her face in the pillow. "Turn it off, please."
"No," Vegeta replied with a grin. "I'm watching this channel."
"You just want to rub it in, don't you?"
"Of course. Your show fell apart before it even debuted."
"Gee, thanks, Pop. I can really feel that this is one of those father-daughter bonding moments I'll always treasure."
"Maybe next time you'll listen to me, Yugi. It takes more than a bunch of famous characters to make a show."
"It worked for 'The Anime World,' y'know."
"That was different. *I* was on that show."
"So was I. And it still got canceled."
"We got highest ratings for the week we were on."
"True." Yugi sighed. "I guess I wasn't meant to have my own show."
As a warrior, Vegeta wanted to laugh at her failure. But as a father, he felt he was supposed to do something. Finally, he hesitantly reached over and patted her head.
Yugi looked at him. "What the heck was THAT?"
"It was my way of hugging you without really doing it. I have an image to uphold."
"My dream was just destroyed. Can't you put the warrior's pride aside for one minute and hug me?"
Vegeta frowned. "No."
Yugi whimpered and began to sob loudly. "Nobody loves me!"
Vegeta growled, then put one arm around her shoulders.
Yugi stopped crying. "A hug is defined as two arms wrapping around a body, not one."
Vegeta muttered something under his breath.
"Unless that was a, 'I love you very much, Yugi,' I think you should try again."
Vegeta sighed and put both arms around her. "Fine! Are you happy now?"
"A REAL hug offers comfort. You're yelling at me. I think I might cry again..."
"I'm SORRY," Vegeta growled through his teeth.
"A real hug also offers SOME physical contact. You're just touching my shoulders. Here, let me show you." Yugi climbed into his lap and pressed her head against his chest. "Now, this isn't so bad, is it?"
"I feel sick."
"Oh, stop it. You know you love me and my mushy stuff."
"I do NOT," Vegeta insisted.
"Sure. I remember when we first met, all you wanted to do was baby me."
"That is NOT true."
"Oh, sure it is." Yugi looked up into his eyes. "Face it, big guy. You love me. I can't blame you, though. I AM cute."
Vegeta growled again, but said nothing else.
"Okay, I can see you're not enjoying this. Just give me a fatherly kiss and I'll be on my way."
Vegeta didn't move.
"This is the part where you kiss me and make me fell better, Dad. Y'know, because I'm depressed? About the show being canceled?"
"And why would I do that?"
"Because despite Trunks's claims, I am your favorite child." Yugi closed her eyes and turned her face up to him. "You may kiss me now."
Vegeta still didn't move.
Yugi opened one eye. "Please tell me you know how to kiss."
"Of course I do. I just have no intention of kissing you."
"I see why Trunks is always so down. You're not exactly Parent of the Year material."
"There is no law that says I have to kiss you."
"There is a law that says you have to kiss me. I invented it three seconds ago. Obey or go to jail."
"No."
"Fine! Then I'm going to sit here until you do!" Yugi glared at him and rested her head against his chest.
Vegeta merely stared at her.
A few hours later, Yugi began to snore quietly.
Vegeta carefully wrapped a blanket around her and carried her to bed. He had just stepped out of her bedroom when he paused and doubled back. Yugi was still asleep, so he leaned over and quickly kissed her forehead. Just as he reached the door, he heard a voice.
"Thanks, DADDY."
Vegeta shuddered and quickly left the room.
Yugi smiled to herself and sighed happily. Oh, well. I guess I could always try the movie version of Saturn Scouts. Maybe I'll even win an MTV Movie Award or something...
With that, Yugi fell asleep, with big hopes and even bigger dreams.
* * * * *
The Midnight Run meeting was a lot more crowded that night.
"Okay," Guy began. "I want to thank you all for doing your best to make 'The Saturn Scouts' our best spin-off show, but it looks like we'll just have to move on."
"But I feel bad," Sakura pointed out. "Like it's our fault or something."
"Well, not exactly," Guy said. "It was Yugi's first script. She's still new to being on the other side of the camera...or pen...or...whatever."
"She's probably really upset," Sasami added. "We should do something for her."
"Maybe we could have an 'Anime World' reunion!" Reenie suggested.
"I think you just want to see Li again," Guy said. "But it is a good idea. I'll see if I can round everyone up. Speaking of which, where ARE the Saturn Scouts?"
"They took off," Gene replied. "Said you knew. Some sort of special training."
"What?! I didn't know about any special training!"
"Oh. Should I have stopped them?" Gene asked.
"YES!"
"Well, they're probably halfway to Peacemillion by now," Suzuka said.
"And being killed DOES take a lot out of you," Goku added.
Guy sighed. "Okay, okay. Now, since Outlaw Star's been so successful, we're thinking of doing some sort of extra series there."
"Can't do it," Gene interrupted. "Jim's gone."
"What?! Where is he?!"
"With the Saturn Scouts," Aisha replied. "Said you knew."
"No, I didn't! Are you people trying to get me fired?!"
There was an uneasy silence before Gene said, "Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I am."
* * * * *
Duo cleared his throat. "Welcome to Gundam Piloting 101. I will be your teacher. You may address me as Professor Maxwell, Dr. Duo, Sir, or Teach. Are there any questions so far?"
Hotaru raised her hand.
Duo grinned. "Yes, beautiful young lady?"
Hotaru blushed. "Um...I was just wondering...could I call you sweetheart?"
"YOU can call me tonight. Any more questions?"
Jim raised his hand.
"The Quatre wanna-be up front?"
Jim frowned. "Uh...when are we actually going to SEE the Gundams?"
"In time, my student. First, you'll practice with these realistic replicas you see in front of you. Do either of you suffer from motion sickness, easily getting dizzy, or generally being a wuss?"
Hotaru and Jim looked at each other. "No?"
"Great! Then we can get started." Duo walked behind Hotaru's chair. "Now, what do we do first?"
"Um...turn it on?" Hotaru guessed.
"Wrong! First, we buckle up."
"Oh. Sorry." Hotaru fastened her seatbelt.
"Next?"
"Now we turn it on?"
"Nope. We give the cute teacher a compliment so he'll raise our grade and overlook that last mistake."
Hotaru glanced up at him. "I don't remember that being in the lesson."
"Hey, who's teaching this class?"
"Okay, okay." Hotaru thought for a moment. "You're looking exceptionally handsome today, Dr. Duo."
"Why, thank you, student! Such an unexpected compliment certainly deserves a reward!" Duo leaned over the seat and kissed her cheek.
Hotaru turned beet red. "Duo!"
"That's Dr. Duo to you, student. Now, what comes next?"
"Turn it on?"
"Wrong again! Next, we check our necks!"
"What?" Hotaru asked. "Why?"
"To make sure they're strong enough to travel at high speeds in space, of course. Allow me to demonstrate by checking YOUR neck for you, student." Duo leaned in close again.
Hotaru jumped. "What are you doing, Duo?!"
"Inspecting your neck, of course."
"I don't think you need your mouth for that."
"A proper neck inspector always uses his finest tools."
"But do they always make out with the inspectees?"
Duo tilted his head. "What an odd but perfectly sensible suggestion!"
"Hey, there are other people in the class!" Jim shouted. "I need help, too!"
"Talk to Teaching Assistant Ryoko, then."
Jim looked over at Ryoko, who was playing a video game. "Uh..."
"I'm busy!" she snapped. "Ask MY Teaching Assistant."
"The Teaching Assistant has a Teaching Assistant?"
"Yes, she does," Homniyo replied as she sat in Jim's lap. "I'll be your student helper."
Jim turned bright red. "I...uh...um..."
"Don't be nervous, Jim! I'll be careful with you." She squeezed his hands. "Now, what do we do first?"
"Uh...buckle up?"
"Wrong! First, we award the student helper for being so beautiful! Don't you think I'm beautiful?"
"Well...yes, but what does that have to do with-"
"And do you know how we reward the student helper?"
"...no?"
"Allow me to demonstrate." Homniyo slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
Jim managed to stop her as their faces were mere centimeters apart. "But what about the Gundams?"
Homniyo smiled. "Let them get their own student helpers."
Ryoko rolled her eyes. "They should've called this class Make-Out Sessions 101..."
The End.
"Let me see if I understand this," Guy said slowly. "Gene, Hotaru, and Homniyo are gonna charge in there and take apart everything that moves?"
"Right," Jim said.
"THAT'S your plan?!"
"Of course not. It's Gene's. My plan is to get some more help."
"What about Duo & Ryoko?"
"Well, once I managed to pry Hotaru away from them, I put them in the regeneration tanks. But it'll be a while before they can come out."
Guy sighed. "So we're still screwed."
"Unless you have a plan, yes."
Guy thought for a moment. Then his eyes widened. "That's it! I know what we can do!"
Jim blinked. "Really? What?"
"No time! Just get me a phone, quick!"
* * * * *
"So. Ideas?" Sakura asked quietly.
"Nope," Sammy replied. "You?"
"Fresh out." Sakura swallowed noisily. "Uh...but we can't lose. We're the good guys, right?"
Sammy shrugged. "Well, there's four of them, and two of us. Besides, they're OUTSIDE the magical cage. With the keys. They have powers, while ours...seem to have vanished."
"So...we're screwed?" Sakura asked.
Sammy nodded. "Yeah."
Sakura sighed. "I was afraid of that."
On the other side of the room, Mistress Nine and her Sadist Scouts were waiting patiently. Well, some of them, anyway.
"This is boring," Aisha muttered. "Can't I go maul someone?"
"She told us to wait," Suzuka replied. "So we'll wait."
"But I'm BORED!"
"And if you don't stop whining, in a minute you'll be DEAD."
"Are you threatening ME?"
"No, I'm making you a promise."
"Suzu, you really-"
"Don't EVER call me that again."
Black Lady sighed and closed her eyes. "Did you really have to take them for your servants?"
Mistress Nine tapped her chin thoughtfully. "They're annoying, but they're strong. Much like Hotaru and her friends."
"I wish you'd let me kill her already."
"I told you, when Hotaru dies, I will be the one to do it."
"Then why do you insist on playing games with her?" Black Lady asked. "You've had several chances to kill her, but you never do."
"I want her to suffer as I did. To lose everything but the darkness inside her. And then she will lose even that."
"I think you're obsessed with her."
Mistress Nine didn't even blink. "Perhaps I am. It would only make her defeat all the more pleasant."
* * * * *
"Yugi, I understand that you want to be a Scout. I even understand that you came up with the idea for the show. But what I can't understand is how you got Dad to agree."
Yugi glanced at Trunks in the mirror and continued to apply eye-liner. "I didn't. He doesn't know yet."
"Uh...you didn't tell him?"
"Nope."
"Yugi, he's going to find out sooner or later."
"Which is why my favorite big brother is going to tell him," she added, smiling sweetly.
"No way. I like living."
"But you like me more. Right?"
"I don't like ANYBODY that much."
Yugi sighed. "Trunks, what was your life-long dream?"
"To become a Super Saiyan so I could save my world."
"Well, mine is to be a Scout. You got yours, so let me have mine."
Trunks shook his head. "No, Yugi. I'm not telling him."
"Fine. But when he asks you where I've gone, what will you say? You know he can tell when you're lying."
The color drained from Trunks's face. "You planned this, didn't you?"
Yugi smiled. "Yup!"
"I hate you."
"Love you, too, Trunks. Hand me that hair wrap, would you?"
Trunks picked up the red-and-black checkered hair wrap. "How do you get all your hair into this thing, anyway?" Then he looked up. "Oh."
Yugi's hair was standing up on her head. "Telekinetics, use number 3472: Easy hair-styling."
"I see." Trunks carefully placed the hair wrap on her head. "Did I do it right?"
"Yup. Thanks." Yugi made a few final adjustments and turned around. "So, what do you think?"
Trunks backed up a step. "Yugi, you look evil!"
"Really? Aw, you're so sweet to say that!"
"Yugi, I'm serious!"
"I heard you the first time, Trunks." Yugi hopped out of the chair and walked past him. "Good luck telling Vegeta about this."
"Wait! You didn't say anything about being evil!"
"I'm NOT evil. Not right now, anyway. This is just to strike fear in my opponents by making them THINK I'm evil and scary."
"You really think that'll work?"
Yugi grinned. "I know it will. I wrote the script."
* * * * *
"Homniyo, are you sure about this? You only woke up about an hour ago."
She smiled. "Relax, Jim. I'm fine, really. I'm just gonna help Hotaru beat Mistress Nine's evil butt, and then we'll be right back. Okay?"
Jim looked worried. "But you make it sound so simple..."
Homniyo reached up and patted his cheek. "It is simple, Jim. We win, she loses."
"But you don't even MMMPH!" Jim forget what he was saying as Homniyo suddenly kissed him.
A moment later, she pulled back, smiling even wider.
"Uh...what was that for?" Jim asked.
"Luck, of course."
"Right. Um...maybe you could use some more luck?"
"Yes," Homniyo agreed, pressing a finger to his lips. "After I beat Mistress Nine."
"But...but..."
"I told you to relax. We'll be fine. I've been showing Hotaru some moves, and I think she's ready."
"How can you be sure?"
Sailor Saturn suddenly walked into the room, carrying the Silence Glaive at her side. There was a violet fire in her eyes that made her seem quite formidable.
"Call it a hunch," Homniyo replied with a grin.
"But you're not thinking of going by yourselves, are you?" Jim asked.
"We can't wait for anyone to get here. We have to go now."
"I agree," Saturn said quietly. "Mistress Nine must be stopped as soon as possible."
Before Jim could protest, the two girls vanished. "Oh, crap. Guy's not gonna like this."
* * * * *
Sakura wasn't sure how long they'd been in the cage when a shadowy figure emerged from the darkness. "Who's there?" she asked.
The figure stopped by the cage, and a bright light appeared, blinding Sakura for a moment. As her eyes adjusted, she nearly screamed.
"You're Sakura, right?" the girl asked.
Sakura nodded. "Who are you?"
"Yugi. Old friend of Sasami's. You two okay?"
"Yeah. Sasami fell asleep, but...you don't really look like a good guy."
"I know, I get that all the time. Stand back for a minute."
Sakura obeyed, and Yugi closed her eyes. The cage shuddered for a moment, then melted away.
"How did you do that?"
"If I told you, my Dad would have to kill you."
Sakura blinked as she helped Sasami up. "What?"
"Never mind." Yugi glanced around. "I guess Duo & Ryoko aren't here yet, or the place would be in ruins. I'd better speed up the process." She pulled a paper from her pocket and began writing rapidly.
"What are you doing?" Sakura asked.
"Making a script change," Yugi replied. "Let's just hope it works."
* * * * *
"That's it!" Aisha roared. "I wanna maul someone, and you're elected!"
"Bring it on!" Suzuka shouted, raising her sword.
The two screamed and tackled each other, clawing and biting as if they'd lost their minds.
"What are they doing?" Black Lady asked.
"Some outside force must be controlling them," Mistress Nine answered. "They must be on their way."
"Correction," said Sailor Saturn as she materialized in front of them. "We're here."
Mistress Nine rolled her eyes. "Hurt her. Badly."
Black Lady started forward, but a pink blur flew by, knocking her to the ground with one kick. Homniyo landed beside Saturn, moving her hands in a strange pattern.
"I swear they're like cockroaches," Mistress Nine muttered. "Prepare to die, girls."
"Got that right," Black Lady growled as she stood up. "No one touches my face!"
"Hold it right there, Pinky!" Yugi said as she appeared overhead. "This is MY show, and I'm not gonna let you ruin it. YOU weren't even in the original script!"
"What in the world is she talking about?" Black Lady asked, taking a step back. "And shouldn't she be on our side?"
Yugi scribbled something down. "That should do it. Now, to deal with you." She raised her hand and wiggled her fingers.
"Uh...what's she doing?" Homniyo asked. "And who's side IS she on?"
"Ours, I think," Saturn replied. "We used to be roommates. Only she never looked like that while I knew her."
Suddenly, a huge chunk of crystal crashed through the ceiling and crushed Black Lady. The crystal broke, dividing into five large pieces. Among them was a dazed but unharmed Reenie.
"I should've known bringing you back would've caused trouble," Yugi muttered, glaring at Mistress Nine.
"It was your fault for never defining how powerful I was. Which leaves me free to do this."
A violet lightning bolt leaped from the woman's hand and slammed into Saturn's chest. She stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, the Silence Glaive landing beside her.
"NO!" Yugi shouted. "You killed my star! What about the show?!"
"I have no interest in your show. I only desire revenge."
Homniyo leaned over Saturn and gently shook her shoulders. "Saturn? Hotaru? Anyone?" But Saturn was still and silent, and the violet light had left her eyes.
* * * * *
Another fine mess you've gotten us into, Duo.
YOU were the one that busted the coffin, Ryoko.
Yeah, well, you shoulda stopped me!
Oh, right! I'm human, you're a demon. Who's gonna when THAT fight?
You Gundam pilots are all so negative and broody. Look at the bright side!
I almost forgot the bright side. Instead of being out there with Hotaru, I'm stuck in here...with YOU.
She never has to know, Duo. I won't tell her if you won't...*lover.*
Don't even kid like that! I still haven't forgiven you for that...that kiss!
Was it as good for YOU as it was for ME?
Ryoko, when we get outta here, you're gonna pay big time. I mean that.
Yeah, just like you meant it the other 375 times you said it.
Wait a minute. Ryoko, something's wrong. Hotaru...I can't feel her!
Duo, this is no time to fantasize about the kid.
No! She's not breathing! Ryoko, she's dead!
Hey, you're right! What's going on out there?!
I don't know, but she needs us. We have to get out--
NOW!
Jim screamed as the tanks exploded behind him, sending water and glass flying everywhere. Duo & Ryoko emerged, dripping wet and extremely pissed.
Jim blinked. "Uh...they already left, and-"
By that time, Duo & Ryoko were gone.
* * * * *
The scene had broken down into three fights. Aisha and Suzuka were still clawing each other, Yugi and Mistress Nine were arguing over what was and wasn't in the script, and Homniyo was demanding that Saturn start breathing again. In other words, nothing was getting done.
The wall exploded in a shower of debris, and Ryoko flew in. "Okay, who wants to die first?"
Yugi groaned in frustration. "NO! You were supposed to be here TEN minutes ago! Nothing is working right!"
"Yugi, what are you doing here?"
Duo appeared just then. "Who did it?!" he screamed. "Who killed her?!"
Everyone pointed at Mistress Nine.
"YOU'RE DEAD!"
Yugi tripped Duo as he ran forward. "No. I've had it. This ends NOW."
"What? What are you talking about?" Homniyo asked.
Yugi sighed and shook her head. "I'm canceling the show. This just isn't working out right."
The words were barely out of her mouth when Mistress Nine and the Sadist Scouts vanished.
"I'm never doing my own show again," Yugi muttered. "It's way too hard to get a good product."
"I'm missing something," Ryoko said. "What happened?"
Saturn sat up. "What's going on here? Where's Mistress Nine?"
"Gone, just like all the others." Yugi pulled off her head wrap and let down her hair. "You guys can go home now. This just isn't gonna work. I doubt we'll even make it to TV."
* * * * *
"And in other news, Cartoon Network's highly anticipated series, "The Saturn Scouts," is over before it could even begin. The show's creators decided it was, and I quote, 'something a child dreamed up.'"
Yugi groaned and buried her face in the pillow. "Turn it off, please."
"No," Vegeta replied with a grin. "I'm watching this channel."
"You just want to rub it in, don't you?"
"Of course. Your show fell apart before it even debuted."
"Gee, thanks, Pop. I can really feel that this is one of those father-daughter bonding moments I'll always treasure."
"Maybe next time you'll listen to me, Yugi. It takes more than a bunch of famous characters to make a show."
"It worked for 'The Anime World,' y'know."
"That was different. *I* was on that show."
"So was I. And it still got canceled."
"We got highest ratings for the week we were on."
"True." Yugi sighed. "I guess I wasn't meant to have my own show."
As a warrior, Vegeta wanted to laugh at her failure. But as a father, he felt he was supposed to do something. Finally, he hesitantly reached over and patted her head.
Yugi looked at him. "What the heck was THAT?"
"It was my way of hugging you without really doing it. I have an image to uphold."
"My dream was just destroyed. Can't you put the warrior's pride aside for one minute and hug me?"
Vegeta frowned. "No."
Yugi whimpered and began to sob loudly. "Nobody loves me!"
Vegeta growled, then put one arm around her shoulders.
Yugi stopped crying. "A hug is defined as two arms wrapping around a body, not one."
Vegeta muttered something under his breath.
"Unless that was a, 'I love you very much, Yugi,' I think you should try again."
Vegeta sighed and put both arms around her. "Fine! Are you happy now?"
"A REAL hug offers comfort. You're yelling at me. I think I might cry again..."
"I'm SORRY," Vegeta growled through his teeth.
"A real hug also offers SOME physical contact. You're just touching my shoulders. Here, let me show you." Yugi climbed into his lap and pressed her head against his chest. "Now, this isn't so bad, is it?"
"I feel sick."
"Oh, stop it. You know you love me and my mushy stuff."
"I do NOT," Vegeta insisted.
"Sure. I remember when we first met, all you wanted to do was baby me."
"That is NOT true."
"Oh, sure it is." Yugi looked up into his eyes. "Face it, big guy. You love me. I can't blame you, though. I AM cute."
Vegeta growled again, but said nothing else.
"Okay, I can see you're not enjoying this. Just give me a fatherly kiss and I'll be on my way."
Vegeta didn't move.
"This is the part where you kiss me and make me fell better, Dad. Y'know, because I'm depressed? About the show being canceled?"
"And why would I do that?"
"Because despite Trunks's claims, I am your favorite child." Yugi closed her eyes and turned her face up to him. "You may kiss me now."
Vegeta still didn't move.
Yugi opened one eye. "Please tell me you know how to kiss."
"Of course I do. I just have no intention of kissing you."
"I see why Trunks is always so down. You're not exactly Parent of the Year material."
"There is no law that says I have to kiss you."
"There is a law that says you have to kiss me. I invented it three seconds ago. Obey or go to jail."
"No."
"Fine! Then I'm going to sit here until you do!" Yugi glared at him and rested her head against his chest.
Vegeta merely stared at her.
A few hours later, Yugi began to snore quietly.
Vegeta carefully wrapped a blanket around her and carried her to bed. He had just stepped out of her bedroom when he paused and doubled back. Yugi was still asleep, so he leaned over and quickly kissed her forehead. Just as he reached the door, he heard a voice.
"Thanks, DADDY."
Vegeta shuddered and quickly left the room.
Yugi smiled to herself and sighed happily. Oh, well. I guess I could always try the movie version of Saturn Scouts. Maybe I'll even win an MTV Movie Award or something...
With that, Yugi fell asleep, with big hopes and even bigger dreams.
* * * * *
The Midnight Run meeting was a lot more crowded that night.
"Okay," Guy began. "I want to thank you all for doing your best to make 'The Saturn Scouts' our best spin-off show, but it looks like we'll just have to move on."
"But I feel bad," Sakura pointed out. "Like it's our fault or something."
"Well, not exactly," Guy said. "It was Yugi's first script. She's still new to being on the other side of the camera...or pen...or...whatever."
"She's probably really upset," Sasami added. "We should do something for her."
"Maybe we could have an 'Anime World' reunion!" Reenie suggested.
"I think you just want to see Li again," Guy said. "But it is a good idea. I'll see if I can round everyone up. Speaking of which, where ARE the Saturn Scouts?"
"They took off," Gene replied. "Said you knew. Some sort of special training."
"What?! I didn't know about any special training!"
"Oh. Should I have stopped them?" Gene asked.
"YES!"
"Well, they're probably halfway to Peacemillion by now," Suzuka said.
"And being killed DOES take a lot out of you," Goku added.
Guy sighed. "Okay, okay. Now, since Outlaw Star's been so successful, we're thinking of doing some sort of extra series there."
"Can't do it," Gene interrupted. "Jim's gone."
"What?! Where is he?!"
"With the Saturn Scouts," Aisha replied. "Said you knew."
"No, I didn't! Are you people trying to get me fired?!"
There was an uneasy silence before Gene said, "Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I am."
* * * * *
Duo cleared his throat. "Welcome to Gundam Piloting 101. I will be your teacher. You may address me as Professor Maxwell, Dr. Duo, Sir, or Teach. Are there any questions so far?"
Hotaru raised her hand.
Duo grinned. "Yes, beautiful young lady?"
Hotaru blushed. "Um...I was just wondering...could I call you sweetheart?"
"YOU can call me tonight. Any more questions?"
Jim raised his hand.
"The Quatre wanna-be up front?"
Jim frowned. "Uh...when are we actually going to SEE the Gundams?"
"In time, my student. First, you'll practice with these realistic replicas you see in front of you. Do either of you suffer from motion sickness, easily getting dizzy, or generally being a wuss?"
Hotaru and Jim looked at each other. "No?"
"Great! Then we can get started." Duo walked behind Hotaru's chair. "Now, what do we do first?"
"Um...turn it on?" Hotaru guessed.
"Wrong! First, we buckle up."
"Oh. Sorry." Hotaru fastened her seatbelt.
"Next?"
"Now we turn it on?"
"Nope. We give the cute teacher a compliment so he'll raise our grade and overlook that last mistake."
Hotaru glanced up at him. "I don't remember that being in the lesson."
"Hey, who's teaching this class?"
"Okay, okay." Hotaru thought for a moment. "You're looking exceptionally handsome today, Dr. Duo."
"Why, thank you, student! Such an unexpected compliment certainly deserves a reward!" Duo leaned over the seat and kissed her cheek.
Hotaru turned beet red. "Duo!"
"That's Dr. Duo to you, student. Now, what comes next?"
"Turn it on?"
"Wrong again! Next, we check our necks!"
"What?" Hotaru asked. "Why?"
"To make sure they're strong enough to travel at high speeds in space, of course. Allow me to demonstrate by checking YOUR neck for you, student." Duo leaned in close again.
Hotaru jumped. "What are you doing, Duo?!"
"Inspecting your neck, of course."
"I don't think you need your mouth for that."
"A proper neck inspector always uses his finest tools."
"But do they always make out with the inspectees?"
Duo tilted his head. "What an odd but perfectly sensible suggestion!"
"Hey, there are other people in the class!" Jim shouted. "I need help, too!"
"Talk to Teaching Assistant Ryoko, then."
Jim looked over at Ryoko, who was playing a video game. "Uh..."
"I'm busy!" she snapped. "Ask MY Teaching Assistant."
"The Teaching Assistant has a Teaching Assistant?"
"Yes, she does," Homniyo replied as she sat in Jim's lap. "I'll be your student helper."
Jim turned bright red. "I...uh...um..."
"Don't be nervous, Jim! I'll be careful with you." She squeezed his hands. "Now, what do we do first?"
"Uh...buckle up?"
"Wrong! First, we award the student helper for being so beautiful! Don't you think I'm beautiful?"
"Well...yes, but what does that have to do with-"
"And do you know how we reward the student helper?"
"...no?"
"Allow me to demonstrate." Homniyo slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
Jim managed to stop her as their faces were mere centimeters apart. "But what about the Gundams?"
Homniyo smiled. "Let them get their own student helpers."
Ryoko rolled her eyes. "They should've called this class Make-Out Sessions 101..."
The End.