Mackenziech17

insert usual disclaimer. Okay......its a drama fic. WOW. Be sad.

Mackenzie
chapter seventeen
I laid on my bed, curled in a protective ball. We had gone back to C.C., Goku had to bring me home because Vegeta flew off as soon as I was in the house...but that was two days ago. Saria was wrong, I haven't gotten better. The bad thing was, I didn't want to eat or sleep..actually I couldn't sleep..so I chose the differ..I didn't want to. Just like I didn't want to move. Just like I didn't want to eat. Just like I hated everyone in the world who lived, including Vegeta. I was mad at him for leaving me in this situation. I learned I cannot trust him in bad situations. So I wont. I decided that I didn't want to live anymore, and I certainly felt like it. I blinked into the already tear stained sheet. I had run out of tears. I wanted to cry the ocean just to drown all those people. I hate people. People and their emotions, or the emotions that just aren't there. Goku and ChiChi didn't bother me much, but Gohan comes in my room every night to hug me and say it would be all right. But when is everything alright? I always wanted to ask, but I never could because I knew he didn't know the answer and I didn't want to burden him. Maybe...if Vegeta were here..it would be a different story. But he's not. He's never there, never. Not when I need him. Not when I ask. Not when I dont need him. He never is, and never will be. Thats what I believe. People like that may change, but their heart will never change. Their attitude to everything will never change. The way they think of things around them will never change. The only thing that changes is the fact they realized they aren't evil, nothing more.
I stared blankly at the wall. Just looking at the wall made me want to cry, but I dont have anymore tears to. I just blinked. My hair plastered to my face from perspiration. People never seem to care when caring is needed most.... thinking that, I found my hidden stash of tears that I didn't know I had. Fresh tears streamed down my face like a waterfall, splashing on my pillow. I blinked through the blur of tears, trying to see. The tears were always followed by new ones. When my waterfall drained to just a drip. ChiChi had lightly knocked on my door. When I didn't answer she opened it and came in with a plate of soup.
You need to eat she said, sitting on the edge of my bed. I just stared through her. I dont want you to starve yourself to death she sighed and smoothed my hair away from my face. Gohan's worried, he says he learned that people that are pale like you are now, need to eat I still stared right through her, as if she weren't there. And to me, she wasn't, there wasn't anything there, only the white-wash wall. I felt just like the wall plain and ugly. Pale and unnoticeable. Unwanted. Mackenzie, you cant go on like this! You need to eat! Her words forced themselves into my head. I noticed she was there, if I haven't already. I looked up at her with pained eyes. She sighed again. We love you very much, and we dont want to lose you she said, patting my head one last time. Getting up from her seat she walked to the door. My eyes followed her the whole way. We love you very very much, Goku is afraid to come and see you because he's afraid he will get mad at you and yell and with that she closed the door. I watched the door for a long time. Brown. Not white. Brown. It stands out more than white. I'm white, everyone else is brown. I am white in a cloud. They are brown in a white cloud.I sighed at the sound of the front door slamming. Gohan's home... Gohan had a thing right now with slamming the door every time he went through one that he could slam. Probably wants the attention..It never occurred to me that he just wanted me to know that he's still there. My eyes went back to the wall. My muscles ached from not moving for a day. I turned over on the bed to stare at the ceiling. Same as the wall. White. Ugly.Unwanted. Plain. White in a white piece of paper. I had stopped coughing for sometime now. Now all I feel is sick. My stomach is always queasy. My head is constantly in pain. My ears are always ringing. I felt like I had no energy. So, you could also put it, I feel like crap. I just didn't care anymore. I probably looked like crap to. But who's judging? Besides everyone that sets eyes on me. Judge. Thats what their lives are about. Is judge her. Judge him. Judge everything thats worth it. Thats the thing. No one will judge me. I'm not worthy. I'm not valued. No one but the people I live with will even stand to look at me. Goku...the ever cheerful...the one who doesn't care what you look like...wont even look at me....no wonder Vegeta left. I suddenly felt the urge to vomit. So I got up and hurried to my bathroom and did just that. I sank to the cool tile. I studied it. Colorful. Bright. Not me. I slowly stood with the help of the sink. I looked in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes. My hair was a matted mess. I was deathly pale. I looked like shit. Die.....this life has no meaning....die..... was all I could think. I wanted to die. I wanted to end my life. I felt like I was ripped in two when Vegeta said he had better things to do than waste his time on me. Now I believe him. Very much so. I even agree. Why eat? It will just keep me alive longer. I dont want to be alive when he does come back....he wont have to look at me. I slowly walked back to the bed and collapsed onto it. I felt drained of energy. Sleep finally took over me. I guess I have to go get up and walk to the bathroom and back to be able to sleep.
ChiChi, I'm worried Goku said staring at his hands. ChiChi never saw him like this before. He always had on a smile. He never had this sad, painful look.
I am to Goku, I am to She said, setting a cup of tea in front of him. He looked at it for some time before drinking it.
Mommy mommy mommy! Gohan cried. Running in the room with a somewhat smile on his face.
What is it? Is it Mackenzie?? she asked jumping from her chair. Gohan smiled.
What happened? Goku asked. His already worried expression deepened.
Come look Gohan said, running up the stairs to my room. He opened the door and moved out of the way. ChiChi looked in then smiled. Goku popped his head in and scowled. Not something you see every day.
She looks so...pale he said, walking over to me and moving a stray hair out of my face.
She hasn't ate in two days Goku, she should be pale she said, sighing at the untouched food on the nightstand.
What? You never said that! Goku said jumping up.
Goku! Shhhh ChiChi warned. looking at me as I moved around with a troubled look on my face. Goku quieted and pushed ChiChi and Gohan out of the room.
We should let her sleep he said, walking back down to the kitchen. I woke up and looked at my digital clock. 6:53. Time for supper, or at least it would be if I wanted it, but I dont...I knew Goku was in here when I was asleep. I could smell him for some reason on my bed spread. So he finally looked at me, I must have scared him off... I stared at the sheet. Everything is white, like me. In my dream. Saria had came, saying that I needed to eat. I needed to be in good health when Vegeta came back. Came back? He will never come back, never. I would guess that he just got tired of me and needed to get away so he could get his sight back from looking at me so often. I dont doubt him anymore. I just know, I dont doubt a thing anymore. I either know, or dont know. Why would I doubt? Whats the point? There is no point. Just like there's no point in living. And with that added energy, I got up and jumped out of my window, I was barely able to keep myself up, my ki was so low. Good, then that means my end is near...the world will never have to see my face again...

A/N, okay, this is my first time making a drama fic. Do you think its good? Should I continue? Do you think there is anything I should add to make it better? Please tell me!!! So R&R! I dont want to feel like Mackenzie.....then I wont want to write anymore stories and Mackenzie will never be finished.......