I Would Never Cause You Pain
Billy and Francine pulled up only to see that the rescue squad was still there. "Billy you don't think she's dead do you?" Francine voiced his concerns. Lee had said she was hurt pretty bad. Why hadn't they taken her straight to the hospital? Stopping the car Billy searched for Scarecrow and spotted him hovering by the doors of the ambulance. "Lee!" Francine yelled to get his attention.
Lee turned around and Billy was unprepared for the level of emotion on his face. "No." Billy silently breathed fearing the worst. "Lee, is she… Amanda's not dead."
"No! No I could never…" Lee trailed off barely under control. "They're working on her now. She refuses to go back to the hospital. She thinks we're there too much." Lee answered absently as he sat on a nearby curb.
"Oh thank God. When I saw the look on your face I thought for sure she was gone." Francine replied. "What happened? Amanda's mother called IFF worried because she hadn't heard from her all day."
Francine's statement sunk in. "All day?" What time is it?"
"7:30" Billy answered and Lee realized it was getting darker. The sun wasn't rising it was setting! At that moment the doors opened and Amanda was helped carefully out. Lee stood but kept his distance; he wasn't sure if she wanted him near her. Billy walked up to her and the Paramedics. "How are you Amanda?" Billy asked placing a hand on her arm for support. She flinched as he pressed on one of her bruises. "I'm sorry." He apologized.
"No it's okay. I'm fine. Where's Lee I would like to go home."
"I'm right here." Lee answered hesitantly.
She looked at him and saw the fear in his eyes. She wanted to cry and suddenly all the tension hit her and her eyes filled with tears. Lee closed the distance and held his hand out not sure if she wanted his embrace but Lee's desire was to be there if she wanted him there. He was pleased when she quickly stepped into his open arms. He engulfed her gently not knowing what was hurt or how badly. "Let's get out of here okay?" He said quietly. She nodded leaving her head buried in his shoulder not able to meet anyone's gaze. Lee looked up at Billy, "Armon is cuffed to a heater in the building. Last time I checked he was unconscious."
Billy nodded. "We'll take care of it. Use my car to take Amanda home. The debriefing can wait for now but we'll at least need a statement tonight. You can call me later."
"Thanks Billy." Lee replied and guided Amanda to the car. She gingerly got in. Her motions were scaring Lee. He needed to know how badly he had hurt her. The paramedics let her go but he knew she was adamant about not going to the hospital. When they came out to talk with him, before Billy got there, they were clearly frustrated and told him she should at least stay with someone who could check on her every hour and she needed to see a doctor Monday morning to make sure all her bleeding had stopped. They warned him that if she became hard to wake up or dizzy and weak she needed to get to the ER right away. Needless to say that conversation didn't help his imagination.
They drove in silence until Amanda spoke quietly, "I don't want to go home." She didn't want to face her mother's questions right now and she couldn't handle being near her bathroom. She knew the past few hours were not Lee's fault but she didn't want to think about that blank stare or the fear she felt when she realized Lee was not the Lee she had grown to love and trust. It wasn't Lee; she wanted to be with him right then.
"All right. Where?" Lee asked. He was uncertain if she wanted to be with him and he didn't want to suggest his apartment.
"Your place. I'll call mother from there, and we can call Billy and tell him what happened." Amanda answered.
Lee saw his opportunity, "Amanda… what did happen?"
Lee watched her as fear and hesitation flashed over her face. She knew she would have to debrief him first but didn't want to do it while he was driving. "Lee I'll tell you everything after we get to the apartment." She finally replied.
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Lee unlocked his door while Amanda leaned against the wall for support. She wasn't sure how long she could stay standing. Her side burned with pain. The ribs that had been cracked where now broken and she had bruises everywhere. As the paramedics were examining her she was thankful she had made Lee wait outside.
The door opened and Lee helped her in and sat her on the couch. "Can I get you anything?" He asked wanting to make her as comfortable as possible.
"No. Thanks. I just want to sit." She answered with her eyes closed and head resting on the back of the couch. She knew Lee wanted answers and she knew she needed to do it now. "It's not that bad." She said flatly opening her eyes and meeting his stare. His face softened and he took a step forward. She patted the couch encouraging him to sit next to her. He complied quickly and she carefully leaned into his waiting arms.
"Amanda I hurt you. I don't care if I gave you a hang nail, I still hurt you." He whispered in her hear.
"You are not at fault." She said half turning to face him but the sudden movement made her suck in air at the pain.
"Let me see?" She wasn't sure if it was a request and she wasn't sure if she should let him look at her bruises. She did know that it was important to him and unless she let him see what he had done, in his mind it would forever be ten times worse. Silently she began to unbutton her shirt.
"Oh Amanda…" He trailed off unable to continue. Her abdomen was completely black and her sides were a nasty shade of purple. "Amanda how could I ever do such a thing to you?"
"Lee it wasn't you. That's what I keep trying to tell you." She pleaded with him.
"Amanda it was me. I can remember exactly what I was thinking when I did this. Armon said 'beat her or I'll kill her' and in my mind I felt I only had those two options. If I beat you you'd live and the harder I did it the safer you'd be." He finished obviously crying.
"Lee that's the sweetest thing you've ever done." She said also crying.
"What!" Lee had no idea what she was talking about. He was looking at the battered form of his fiancé, which he did, and she thought it was a good thing!
"Lee you were willing to do whatever it took to save my life and you did it with every ounce of your strength." She explained.
"Amanda—" Just as he was about to tell her she was crazy the phone rang. He blew out an exasperated breath and answered the phone, "Hello. Hi Billy. Yes she's right here. Now? Over the phone?" Lee couldn't believe Billy wanted to debrief Amanda over the phone after what she had been through.
"Lee let me talk with him." She stated.
"It was supposed to be just a statement." Lee continued to argue.
"Lee give me the phone." She spoke with a firmer tone as she buttoned her blouse. Lee obeyed and handed her the receiver and listened while Amanda in a completely neutral voice relayed the accounts of the previous night. From Lee drugging her in the bathroom and car to knocking Armon out and handcuffing him and Lee. Lee was amazed at her strength as she spoke. Scenes would flash through his mind as she gave them words. While she continued to report to Billy he took her arm and rolled up her sleeve on her left arm. Distracted she didn't realize what he was doing until the bruised handprint was visible along with the bruising from his needle. Lee was so upset he stood up and Amanda was afraid he was going to break something or hurt himself and she apologized to Billy, "Sir I really need to go can I give you any other information you need tomorrow? Thank you Sir. I will sir." She finished and hung up the phone.
"I'm a monster." He commented with his back to her.
"No Lee. No you're not. Please just let this go."
"How can I?" He asked turning to face her. Never had she seen such pain in his eyes.
"Because I want you to." She said simply. "You owe me my deepest desire."
"What would that be?" He asked.
"For you to forgive yourself."
"That's not what you wrote down when we made the bet." He countered.
"No but it's what I want." She said with a look of determination set on her face. No was not an option.
"I will try on one condition."
"That would be?"
"I get to fulfill you deepest desire on the paper too." He said with a slight smile. He wasn't ready to forget everything happened but he would try to forgive himself. He didn't deserve her. She was making this all too easy on him.
"That could be arranged." She answered leaning in for a kiss. He welcomed her willingly.
"So what was your deepest desire?"
"Skiing this weekend at Pinetop." She replied.
"Amanda, the skiing is supposed to be lousy this weekend."
"Exactly." She answered and kissed him again. "What was your deepest desire?" She asked between kisses.
"Forever with you." He said with a devilish grin.
"Two points for you Stetson." She laughed.
He mocked injury; "I only get two points for that."
"You've gotta earn them I don't give them away." She teased.
"I've got a long weekend to get on the board." He said lowering her onto the couch.
THE END