Thoughts and Memories.
By Arian
Part 3
Laguna looked about as Winhill materialised around him. Hard to tell if this was the right time, Winhill never really changed.
As he walked the short distance to the pub, he happened to glance down at his hands. They were different, he noticed. Odine must have made him younger by sending him here. Good thing too, he mused, or Raine would be very surprised.
He still didn't know what he would do or say. He didn't feel at all prepared for this but he hoped, in spite of all Elle had said, that just maybe there was a chance he could change what had happened.
The pub was closed which was unusual for this time of day – the sun was only beginning to set. The door was not locked so Laguna tentatively stepped over the threshold.
"Who's there?" called out a voice he had not heard for too many years.
"It's me, Raine." His voice faltered. "I'm back."
"Laguna? I'm upstairs."
Climbing the stairs, Laguna hoped she was still the same as he remembered, even if she was mad at him, just so long as she had not changed.
"So where's Elle?" Raine asked. "Is she alright?"
Laguna turned and saw Raine lying on her back on the couch, her hands resting on her swollen abdomen.
"Elle's fine." He replied, swallowing a lump in his throat. He had never believed he would get this second chance and the guilt he felt for staying in Esthar when he should have been here with the person he loved most in all the world resurfaced.
He quickly fabricated a story.
"She won't be back for another week or so. She's travelling with Ward and Kiros. I raced on ahead to see you." He hoped she wouldn't guess that it was all completely fictional and he hadn't a clue where Ellone was at this exact point in time. Realising he was speaking too fast, he stopped.
"So, how are you?" he asked cautiously.
"I'm fine." She smiled, beckoning him over to her side. Kneeling by the couch, Laguna wrapped his arms round her. Why did I stay away so long? He asked himself. Why didn't I come back sooner?
"I've missed you so much."
"I missed you too." She replied, puzzled by the strange emphasis he put on the words. Reaching up, she held his head down close to hers and he felt her stifle a cough. Standing, Laguna smiled sadly down at her.
"Raine, you're not OK. What's the matter?"
"Nothing! I really am fine." She held up her arms, hoping he'd take the hint and change the subject.
Taking her hands carefully in his own, Laguna persisted.
"You have a cough, don't you? And you seem…lighter than usual."
"Don't fret so, Laguna. It's just the tail end of a fever that's been going round the village. I'm better now."
"That's all?"
"Yes, it truly is."
Laguna turned and walked to the table, standing silent for a moment. The lamp, despite its proximity, was unable to reach most of his face, shielded as it was by his hair.
Unable to read his expression, Raine worried. This was so unlike the Laguna she knew. How could one journey have changed him so much? Perhaps it's just worry, first over Elle, then me, she told herself. Who knows what he's seen on his travels?
Struggling to stand, she walked uneasily over to him, trying to keep her balance and hoping with every step that she would soon be able to carry their baby in her arms, not her stomach.
"I feel like a whale." She muttered trying to lift Laguna's dark mood.
"You're beautiful." He whispered, his green eyes shining. "You truly are more beautiful than words."
Raine laughed uneasily.
"I suppose that's a compliment coming from a writer."
"I meant it."
"I know, but there are prettier people than me."
"Pretty is just appearance. You're the most beautiful person I've met."
Grateful for such a sincere compliment when she felt so clumsy, Raine leaned into Laguna, as much as her condition would allow, and wrapped her arms round his waist.
She watched silently as he reached down to touch her face. Then, looking up into his eyes she saw his emotions dancing there; wonder – that pleased her, the pain and fear she didn't understand, nor could she comprehend the sadness she saw, but mixed with all these was love for her and that was enough to make her forget the rest.
As Laguna leaned gently down kiss her, he felt her smile. He hoped fervently that she was too distracted to notice the single, treacherous tear he felt rolling down his cheek.
Standing back, he quickly wiped away the teardrop before Raine had the chance to notice it. Then, with one hand still buried in her hair, and without taking his eyes from hers, he reached out and turned out the lamp.
****************************
"We should probably get some rest too." Squall said abruptly, turning away from the screen.
"You really think they'll be resting?" Rinoa laughed.
Squall scowled at her and walked out.
"Squall! Don't be like that! And don't ignore me, either!" Rinoa yelled as she ran after him.
"I think we should leave, before furniture starts to fly out there." Quistis said seriously.
Ellone was already walking silently from the room, lost in thoughts and memories.
"I'm staying here. I don't know about furniture but clothes are definitely gonna be flying here." Irvine chuckled, nodding to the screen.
"Leave Sir Laguna in peace, Irvine." Selphie dragged him away.
"Out." Ordered Quistis imperiously.
"Yeah, I'm going, I'm going…Jeez, Quisty sure is bossy today, Sef."
"Don't call me that." Quistis said absently, as she always did. Irvine just laughed.
*************************
Laguna sat up in bed watching Raine's sleeping form. Poor Raine, he thought, knowing how she hated to sleep on her back. It was the only way she could sleep comfortably now. He gently brushed the hair back from her face so that he could watch the smile play on her lips as she dreamt.
On impulse, he lay a hand on her stomach. Even through the blankets he could feel the kicks of a baby.
"Hiya, Squall." He said wryly.
Glancing out of the window, Laguna looked up at the stars. It didn't matter how much things changed down here, the stars would always be there. The same as they always had been, he thought. Raine should have been a star, he decided in one of those whimsical thoughts that occur late at night. Raine would always be beautiful then, and perhaps she wouldn't die. But stars could and did die, and however much he hoped to change it, he knew that Raine would leave him. At least this time he could be with her. That was the whole reason he was here.
Turning back to watch her, he knew he would not sleep tonight. He would be content to sit and gaze at her face, absorbing every memory he could. In the dark, the starlight shone in his tears.
***********************
Selphie watched, finding it strange that as she observed these events, they were occurring many years ago.
"It's all so sad!" she wailed. "I wish I could do something to help!"
"Quiet, Sefie." Irvine cautioned, as he leaned against the doorframe. "You'll wake everyone and we're not supposed to be in here."
"Yeah, alright." She sniffed.
"Lets go." Irvine whispered, putting an arm round her shoulders and leading her quietly out of the room.