Headers, disclaimers in part 1
SMKSMK--signals the beginning or end of a flashback
***--transition
(2 of 3)
SMKSMKSMKSMK
Sipping her soup, Amanda wished she had some duct tape. Or a
large apple. Anything to get him to shut up for more than two
minutes. Casually looking around the table, she noticed that
everyone was spellbound by the Senator. Or trying to act like
they were. She wished Lee were sitting beside her, so they could
exchange a shared amused glance.
However, Dean listened intently to everything that the Great
Senator from New York had to say. Only the lessons on manners
that her mother worked so hard to teach her kept her from yawning
or laughing. The urge to yawn came from the Great Senator's
instance on talking about himself. She wanted to laugh because
while the Agency was assuming that Evelyn was the one sharing too
much information, it was really her boss who could not keep his
mouth shut.
Tonight, she learned more about Robert Ferris's upcoming trip to
the Midwest than she had in a top-secret briefing yesterday
afternoon. She now knew most of the key Mid-Easter officials
that would be taking part, as well as where most of them stood on
the idea of peace. Patting her mouth with her napkin, she
glanced over to where Evelyn and her handsome escort sat.
She could definitely see what Evelyn Hunter liked about the man.
The dark looks and those intense eyes--Amanda felt like he was x-
raying her when they were introduced earlier. His manners were
also impeccable. With a voice that only held a hint of his
Spanish accent, he complimented every woman on something. For
Amanda, it had been her hair. The men liked him for his relaxed
demeanor and the way he had of making every one of them feel
important. Oh, and the mere fact he was wealthy--very wealthy--
made him perfect by Evelyn's standards.
However, Amanda saw a few things about Estevez that surprised
her. Evelyn liked everything neat and correctly in its place.
Her date had a hint of wildness about him. He smoked cigars-only
if he was in the room set-aside for the boys--and drank wine
heavily. His dark, rich hair was a little long for this
conservative crowd; it almost reached the bottom of his tuxedo
collar. The style was a little unkempt, and the three rings on
his fingers were larger than any the ladies wore.
He glanced in her direction. For a second, she felt like a deer
frozen by the headlights of an approaching car. The look in his
eyes sent a chill down her spin. She recognized it for what it
was, but somehow when Lee looked at her that way it made her feel
special. Estevez's lustful gaze made her feel like a cheap piece
of meat. Nodding his head in her direction, he turned his
attention back to Farris's rambling.
Seeing the cold, calculating expression on his face, Amanda knew
he was taking careful notes in his head. She turned to listen to
the Great Senator. As she laughed at a joke she heard six months
earlier--and many times since--she wiped the top of her hand with
her napkin underneath the tablecloth. She rubbed so hard it
burned, but she desperately wanted to remove all traces of
Estevez's earlier gallant kiss there. *As if he could give me
warts,* she thought with a silent laugh.
Again, Amanda remembered how she was four years ago. The
housewife from Arlington would have been enchanted by Estevez's
looks and his charm. Today, she wanted to go take a scalding hot
shower just from being in the same room with him for so long.
She saw him for the egotistical, maniacal, money-hungry,
murdering toad that he was.
Laughing at a joke she first heard in the eighth grade--and many
times since--Amanda wished she were in a mountain cabin.
Surrounded by people she either did not like, did not trust, or
found incredibly boring, she dreamed of being surrounded by the
incredibly warm arms of her husband.
***
"Where's your thoughts at, Amanda?"
Startled, she looked over at her date for the night. Laughing,
she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about
work."
Dean leaned over and whispered, "It's rude to think of work
during a date." Remembering how he used to always correct her
manners, she almost frowned. Instead, she forced herself to
laugh as she had when they dated for real.
To her surprise, he joined her in her laughter. "Of course, all
my dates start out with work. 'Nice weather we are having, isn't
it?' they say. And I reply, 'Yes, but a cold front is moving in
tonight, and there is an eighty-three percent chance of showers
tomorrow.' Ends small talk real quick when you can't talk about
the weather casually."
Seeing the humor on his face, Amanda actually laughed. The Dean
she dated all those years ago had a wonderful wit about him.
Unfortunately, it had been directed at other people, which
usually left her feeling uncomfortable. Tonight, he was laughing
at *himself*, something he had never done in the months they
dated.
It was only by sheer will that she kept herself from yanking back
her hand when he reached over to hold it. Reminding herself that
she was doing work and not cheating on Lee, Amanda forced her
hand to relax. Even though her rings were safely stowed away at
Lee's, she imagined that she could feel their presence on her
finger.
"So, do you think the Senator will ever find another topic
besides himself to talk about?"
She struggled to find something polite to say. "Everyone seemed
to find him witty and charming."
He shook his head. "I forgot. You aren't used to this types of
parties." Amanda resisted the urge to tell him she had even been
to a few of the private parties at the White House. "In DC,
nothing is as it seems. Everyone there, except my mother, finds
him to be an arrogant bore."
Gathering the collar of his coat closer together to ward off the
mild chill, he sighed. "Don't get me wrong, Amanda. He gave
Mother a job after Zachery died. She didn't need the money, but
she needed something to do, something that made her feel
important. I'll always be thankful to Richard Farris for giving
her that, but I hate everything about politics. I must have been
out of my mind to invite you tonight."
She smiled and squeezed his hand. "I had a good time." After
the words left her mouth, she realized it was true. She actually
had had a good time.
"I'm glad. Now, what do you say to getting some real food?
Maybe some hot-dogs smothered in chili, cheese and onions?"
She stopped walking. A sleek, black limousine drove past, but
neither one of them paid any attention to it. The streets of DC
were full of them. "Dean McGruire? Volunteering to eat hot-
dogs?"
Sticking his hands in his pockets, he turned to look at her.
"I'm not the same man you once knew, Amanda."
Crossing her arms, she looked at the man standing before her.
His appearance was the same--a few more wrinkles and a few gray
hairs maybe. However, his eyes had a sadness in them that she
had not seen before. His face seemed softer, too. More open to
the joys of life. "I can see that." She glanced down at her
feet, and then looked back up with a smile. "I'm not the same
Amanda King you once knew, either."
"I can see that, too." At her questioning look, he laughed.
Walking back to stand in front of her, he waved his hands.
"Everything about you seems different. The way you fix your
hair--it's less frazzled and more sophisticated. The way you
walk is more confident. The way you dress says 'I am a
professional.' I can see the kind-hearted woman I knew, but she
has a new sparkle that I find fascinating."
Noticing the discreet, white van parked across the road, Amanda
reached out and took his hand. "Let's go get those hot-dogs."
When Dean put his arm around her waist and helped guide her back
towards the car, she glanced over at the van. Even though she
saw the general outline of Fred Fielder sitting in the driver's
seat, she felt Lee's unseen eyes burning into her back.
***
"I am stuffed," Amanda declared, pushing the little checkered
cardboard away from her. After the cold, tasteless chicken they
ate earlier, the hot-dogs had been a gourmet meal.
Dean patted his stomach and nodded. "Yeah, I am, too, but they
were *good*."
She laughed at his goofy grin. "So, tell me how Dean McGuire
became a man who *likes* to eat hot-dogs."
Leaning forward, he wrapped his hands around his cup of coffee.
Looking down at the almost-cold liquid, he shook his head. "You
heard that I got married?"
"Yeah, I heard." She thought of the marriage certificate lying
in one of the many folders she examined yesterday. Right behind
it had been the divorce decree.
"She changed my life, Amanda. As sappy as that sounds, it's
true." Her heart hurt seeing the pain in his eyes. She reached
over and gently patted his arm. He smiled at her.
"I met Candy a few months after that weekend." She knew which
weekend he was referring, too. The marriage of Evelyn McGuire to
Zachary Hunter had been the end of their relationship. Dean had
realized that Amanda fell far short of his mother's expectations,
and Amanda had accepted that Dean fell far short of hers.
Grinning, he took a sip of his coffee. "She had just started her
job as weatherman then, and I did not expect to like her.
Watching her at nights, I would cringe. She knew nothing about
the weather; she was there just for her looks."
Thinking of the few times she had seen Candy Malone's weather
report, she agreed. However, if Dean had married her, maybe her
airheadness was an act. "So, she surprised you with your
intelligence."
His laugh was soft and husky. "Oh, no, she didn't. She's just
like she is on-air." She struggled to think of something to say.
He smiled and leaned forward. "It's okay, Amanda. I would have
never seen me marrying anyone like her, either."
He watched the cars going by the window for a minute, and then
turned his attention back to her. "She was amazing. I had never
met anyone like her--she just enjoyed life. I was drawn to her.
I felt like a fly caught in a spider's web, only she didn't take
away my life. She gave it to me."
A hint of blush touched Dean's cheeks. "I married her a week
later in Los Vegas."
"What? I can't believe your mother approved." As soon as the
words left her mouth, she winced. She really wished she could
take them back.
Looking up at Dean, she was surprised to see amusement in his
eyes. His mother had been a saint when Amanda dated him.
Tossing his empty coffee cup into the pile of garbage in front of
him, he said, "She didn't. In fact, she was horrified." He
shrugged. "I didn't care, because Candy forced me to grasp a
horrible truth--I wanted to marry anyone *but* my mother, and the
way I was heading, I was going to marry someone just like her."
After looking over his shoulder, he leaned forward and whispered,
"*That* scared me to death."
Amanda's hand shot up to cover her mouth as she startled
laughing. "I'm sorry," she said between gasps.
He laughed with her. "Don't be. I love my mother, Amanda. I'm
not sure I like her, but I do love her. I see her faults, and I
don't bother trying to live up to her standards anymore."
"Candy made you see all this?"
"She might be perky," he said with a large grin on her face.
"But she also is very straight forward. For some reason unknown
to me this day, I took her home to Mother's right after I met
her. Having been in the hot seat yourself, I'm sure you can well
imagine how unpleasant the evening was for us both."
She nodded, barely managing to keep from shivering at the memory.
"On the way back, I started the usual. Mother tells me what she
sees wrong with my date, and I turn around and begin to be her
mouthpiece. Doesn't matter if I personally agree or disagree
with the opinion. Or at least that's how it used to be. I'm
sure you remember all my subtle hints about staying home with the
boys more after that missed luncheon with Mother."
Noticing the greasy-faced kid behind the counter looking up at
the clock, she pointed to her watch. "I think it's closing
time."
He glanced down at his wrist in surprise. "Well past it
actually! Come on, we can talk outside."
Listening to the soft jingle of the door closing behind her,
Amanda shivered. The night had grown colder. She turned to look
at Dean who held up a hand. "I know--it's getting late and you
need to get home. I'll drive you back to IFF."
"I can take a cab," she offered.
Opening his car door, Dean stood and waited for her. Amanda
quickly sat down in the passenger seat, shaking her head. As the
car engine roared to life, she wondered how to go about making
the second date. Normally, she found this part of dating hard
enough without the added pressure of saving lives.
"How did you all put up with me, Amanda?"
"What?" Her attention was partially on Dean. The rest was
focused on the black limousine glaring back at her in the
rearview mirror.
"The jerk I was back then. How did you all keep your patience
for so long?"
Noticing the white van passing them as the taxi driven by
Francine got in position, she returned her attention back to her
date. Shifting in the seat so that she could look at him better,
she said, "You weren't a jerk. You were--are--a very nice man."
Dean smoothly turned the wheel of the vehicle. "Even Dotty got
fed up with me in the end after hearing all my mother's
suggestions--from my mouth--on how she could improve. Me, I
adored her just the way she was. The kind of mother I always
wanted."
She opened her mouth to deny Dotty's frustrations, but could not.
"Yes, she did get upset with you. So, you are a nice man who
made some mistakes."
Dean took his eyes off the road for a split second. "I think
this is where, in the movies, the hero tells the girl that losing
her was one of them, but I never had you."
She opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but he shook his head.
"I never had your love. You cared for me and about me, but you
didn't love me."
Looking back out the side window, she admitted, "No, I didn't."
As they pulled to a stop in front of IFF, silence filled the car.
"Amanda, if I were the man I am today back then, would you have
loved me? I mean if I met Candy or someone else like her who
would have told me 'If you want to marry a woman that your mother
will like, then go out and marry a woman just like her. If you
want me, then accept me just as I am, because if I try to change,
you and I both will be miserable.' If I had opened eyes back
then, do you think you could have loved me?"
*Way to go, Candy!* Amanda thought with a mental smile. Then,
thinking about his question, she remembered feeling incredibly
safe with him when she desperately needed to feel safe. Dean
gave her stability when her life seemed to be upside down. As
time passed, she had begun to crave some of the spontaneity and
joy she saw in him tonight. "If Amanda King of four years ago
was sitting here, she could fall in love with you I think."
"She's not though."
"No, she's not," she admitted, looking down at her hands.
He smiled when she looked up at him. "I guess then the challenge
is whether or not the new Amanda King can fall in love with the
new me."
She ached to tell him that there was no possibility, that her
heart was no longer hers to give. However, she had an assignment
to do, so she smiled and nodded. "I guess so."
He looked away, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
"Well, I'm glad I went into that store today. I never shop there
anymore."
She thought of all the careful planning that went into making
sure the meeting looked accidental. Since she remembered his
usual habits, she had decided the when and where. She had
immediately thought of Mega-mart at 9:15 am as the best place and
time. "I'm glad you did, too."
"Look, Amanda, the Senator's leaving for an important trip next
week--Well, I guess you heard about that tonight." She laughed,
wishing she could tell him how much knew about the trip before
hearing the Great Senator's running commentary on how important
his important trip was to the good of the country.
"So, all this week, he has dinners or parties or something
planned every night and Mother has agreed to attend them all and
is dragging me to them. I know--"
Realizing that he was about to give her an out for this week, she
rushed to make sure she stayed in this week's plans. "I would
love to go!"
Hopefully, he would believe that she misunderstood his
intentions. Seeing the startled but pleased look on his face,
Amanda relaxed. He had thought just as she hoped he would. "Do
you want me to pick you up at the house?"
She shifted in the small bucket seat. "The boys--"
He held up his hand. "I understand. Say no more. I missed them
a lot after we broke up the first time. I don't want to hurt
them, either, if this doesn't work out this time." He grasped
the door handle and gently forced the door open after checking to
make sure no cars were approaching. She smiled, relieved that
not everything had changed.
Taking his hand, Amanda got out of the car. The cool night
breeze blew by them, making them both pull their thin coats a
little tighter. "I guess I will pick you up here about six-
thirty?"
She smiled in agreement. Then, reminding herself that this was a
date, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "I had a
good time tonight, Dean." She had enjoyed getting to know this
man again.
"I did, too. Goodnight, Amanda," he said before turning to walk
around the car.
"I'm sorry about Candy," she called.
He stopped to look at her. "Don't be; I'm not. So, she left me
for her perky anchor. She gave me something I can never repay
her for, and I knew when I married her she wasn't the forever
type." With a small wave, he got in the car and drove away.
Sighing, she turned to go make her report to Billy.
***
"Have a seat, Amanda. I was just listening to the earlier
tapes," Billy said. Long-gone were his necktie and jacket. The
front of his shirt was partially opened, showing the ribbed t-
shirt beneath it, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.
After tossing her jacket over the back of Lee's usual chair, she
sank into the seat gratefully. "I can't believe it is Farris
that's giving Estevez all his information."
"You think it's deliberate?" Billy leaned back in his chair.
Thinking of the egotistical creature she watched at dinner, she
shook her head. "No, I think he just likes to talk too much."
He nodded in agreement. "We've got more than our share of egos
here in DC."
She laughed. "If I did not know that before, I do now. I used
to wonder why we just didn't send out lists of suspected
information brokers. That way the Senators, Congressmen, and all
the other bureaucrats would know to be on the lookout for them."
He shrugged. "They don't believe it without absolute proof."
Amanda rubbed her temple as the beginning of a headache throbbed.
"Yeah, I know. Some political rival is just trying to make their
financial supporter look bad, or so they usually think."
His light chuckle helped her to relax. "I think you might have
been in this business too long, Mrs. King."
"Almost sounds that way, doesn't it?" she answered with a sad
smile. Amazing how one gunshot made you question so much of your
life. A part of her missed the younger Amanda, the one that had
been a little more naive about life. However, looking out to the
almost empty bullpen, Amanda knew if she could go back in time,
she would still take that package from Lee.
"Anything in particular you want to report?" Billy asked,
getting back to business.
She shook her head. "Not really, Sir, but I think I have an idea
of how to get Ricardo Estevez out of Ferris's informative dinner
speeches."
He waited for her to finish. Shifting in her chair, she hoped
Lee would not hear what she was about to say until after it
tomorrow night. Playing with her necklace, Amanda explained her
plan. "Evelyn doesn't like to look bad. Estevez is a playboy
who likes to do more than eye the ladies. He kept a lot of his
attention on me tonight--I think because I was with Dean, and
Dean doesn't like him. Anyway, it shouldn't take much for me to
get him in a compromising position, and when Evelyn sees it,
she'll hit the roof."
"If that's the way you think he needs to be played, play it, but
be careful," Billy agreed finally after several minutes. The
looks flirting across his face told her it had been a hard
decision for him. Was he wondering if she could handle it?
"I will, Sir. Any information about who Estevez might be selling
to?"
He handed her a folder. Glancing through it, she saw some of the
top leaders of terrorism in the Middle East. "Thanks to the
efforts of some of our best agents, we now know it's a bidding
war right now. Everyone wants the credit for destroying
America's peace talks in the Middle East."
She continued to look down at the faces of some of the craziest
men in the world. "The Senator didn't reveal the location. As
soon as Estevez has that, he has it all, doesn't he?"
Billy stood up and yawned. "Go home, Amanda. Sleep in, in the
morning. I don't want you pushing yourself too hard."
Reaching for her coat, she got up from her chair. She knew that
the strain of tonight was etched on her face, but there was no
way to hide it. "I'm fine, Sir. I'm physically fit."
"I know you are, Amanda." He was silent for a few heartbeats,
and then, "Listening to your conversation earlier, I thought
about how people change over time."
"That they do." She shook her head, thinking of Dean.
"I was thinking of Lee."
She turned to face him. "Lee?"
Nodding, he sat down on the couch, far away from her. "Yes, I
was remembering a time he jumped on top of a moving train because
a suspect was inside. He knew the man had a tracking device on
him, and yet jumped off that overpass." Shaking his head, Billy
looked down at his hands. "Then, just for fun, he raced a
Chinese agent through the hills of San Diego."
"Lee would do both those things today, Sir."
He smiled, even as he shook his head. "No, Amanda, he wouldn't.
Oh, he would jump on the top of the train and race through the
hills of San Diego. Just not for ego or fun. I used to watch
him get hurt, and then race off somewhere else without a thought.
Now, he's more cautious. He'll take the risks *if* they are
necessary. Personally, I think it's made him a better agent."
Amanda stood by the door, the handle loosely in her grasp.
"Thank you, Sir," she whispered, wondering if he had a psychology
degree hidden away somewhere.
"Oh, I was just telling you what I was thinking about earlier."
Smiling, she nodded. "I know, Sir. Good night, Sir."
"Good night, Amanda."
***
"She could fall in love with you?" Amanda did not even jump when
Lee's quiet voice came out of the darkness. Her husband walked
out of the corner of her bedroom so she could see him clearer.
Taking off her shoes, she sighed. "You weren't supposed to be in
the van." Her toes curled into the carpet, free at last.
"I know."
"Billy's going to have your head on a platter tomorrow when he
finds out you were in the van."
"I know."
She reached up to take off the small diamond earrings she was
wearing and the small clip in her hair. She shook her head so
her hair would fall down freely around her face, and almost
moaned from the feeling of release. Tonight had been rough.
"Estevez's men followed me home, but I don't think they stayed to
watch."
Lee nodded as he sat on the edge of the bed to watch her slide
out of the black sheath dress. "You were the only new one at the
dinner tonight. Everyone else was an old 'friend' of the
Senators."
She reached into her dresser drawer for a nightgown. As her hand
touched cotton, she wished she had one of the fancy ones she kept
at Lee's. Then, remembering what she told the princess, she
grinned and tugged the soft gown over her head. "Amanda, you
look exhausted."
"I think that's the pot calling the kettle black, and I'm already
at home."
He smiled and stood up to leave, but sat back down as she
strolled towards him. He looked over at the door. "The boys are
here."
With a gentle push, Lee fell back on the bed. She crawled over
him. "You know, if we were like most normal married people--"
"But they would know we were married if they overheard us--."
She leaned down to kiss him. "I know. Now, get out of that
jacket and your shoes."
Lee's gaze went back to the door. "Amanda--"
She laughed softly and shook her head. "I just want you to get
some sleep. You can get up before anyone else in the morning,
and then you are going to follow the zero contact outside the
Agency that Billy ordered." She would sleep far better in his
arms, even if he had to get up real early to keep from being seen
or heard. She needed him to stay with her tonight. In his arms,
she could keep the nightmares caged.
He opened his mouth to protest, but Amanda knew her look would
stop him. She jumped off to the side and let him stand. After
taking his jacket and shoes off, he slid into the bed with her.
Gathering her into his arms, he drew the covers over them both.
She sighed and relaxed into his embrace.
Lee, however, felt like a wood plank beneath her. "So, you could
fall in love with him?" The way he sounded reminded Amanda of
Jamie after Joe left. Late one night, she had found him sitting
by the door, the one his father had walked through to leave his
family for the wilds of Africa. "Does he still love me?" Jamie
had finally asked.
Shaking her head, Amanda began to draw little patterns on Lee's
chest. "No, *I* couldn't love him." Lifting her head just
enough to see his face, she said, "*I* love *you*." Laying her
head back down, she sighed. "The woman I used to be could have
loved him."
She could tell from the way he remained so still that he did not
understand. "Could you go out with Randi-baby today and enjoy
it?"
"Well--" She could feel his blush.
"You know what I mean!"
Lee laughed softly, suddenly becoming like a firm, but soft,
pillow. "No, I would be bored out of my mind."
She laughed softly, careful not to be too loud. "I know. Dean's
like a candle that has been lit now. I can appreciate the great
qualities of that flame, but I *want* the roaring fire."
He hugged her close, telling her silently that he understood. He
might not like it, but he understood. Feeling the binds of sleep
pulling at her, she yawned. She had been up late last night and
worked hard all day. "By the way, great job on finding out about
the bidding war for Estevez's information."
"Billy wasn't supposed to tell you about me joining the team."
She could imagine the fight in Billy's office after she left
yesterday to do her own research on the case. "He didn't," she
mumbled. The soothing sound of Lee's heartbeat helped lure her
towards sleep. Her heavy eyelids closed. "I just knew."
***
The sound of her heart pounding made it difficult for her to hear
what Estevez was saying. Looking around the richly decorated
room, Amanda wanted to shiver. She was far more alone here than
she wanted to be, and she knew it meant she was in far more
danger than she wanted to be. Hopefully, Dean and his mother
would soon stumble upon her. Francine, dressed as a waitress,
was supposed to gently lead them in her direction.
"You are a very beautiful woman, Amanda," Estevez said with a
grin that made her want to shiver.
She reached up and began to play with the heart pendant at her
throat. "Thank you, Ricardo. I thought there was something you
wanted to show me?"
"No," he said with a small shake of his head. Amanda could see
the predator inside shinning through his eyes. He reached over
and gently pulled the cork out of the decanter of brandy. The
small popping sound it made almost caused her to jump. He
grinned at her nervousness. "I wanted to have a few minutes
alone to talk. We don't really know each other."
He grinned at her, and Amanda weakly returned it. Shivering
slightly, she crossed her arms and began to lightly rub them.
"Not much to tell," she said with a voice that was shaking
slightly. She wished it was all part of the act, but Estevez
made her nervous. Even worse, Lee was nowhere around this time.
"I'm a documentary film editor's assistant, and a mom. I have
two boys at home, and I used to date Dean a few years ago.
That's about it," she said with a shrug.
Taking a few steps away from him so that she could walk behind
the desk, Amanda struggled to smile. "And you are a man who
works in finance and whose picture is seen a lot in the
newspapers."
His laugh was husky. The sound made Amanda's heart beat faster--
in fear. Hopefully, Evelyn would soon be here. Dean always
arrived right on time for their dates, but he was no Lee Stetson.
Would he arrive just when Amanda needed him to, or would he be
too late? "You don't seem all that impressed with that, Amanda.
Most ladies around here are."
"Well," she answered, playing with the telephone cord. "I'm just
a housewife really, with two boys and a mortgage. None of this
really seems real, you know?"
She watched the dark amber liquid swirl in Estevez's glass as he
walked around to stand in front of her. "I say it probably does
seem a little different from what you are used to seeing."
She thought of her life before Lee Stetson walked into it. No
embassy parties. No meeting important guests and heads of state.
No guns aimed at her. "Yes, it is." Taking a couple of steps
back, she smiled. "Everyone here seems to be wearing a mask."
Sitting down his glass, Estevez laughed. "We are," he said with
a grin that made her skin crawl. How many women, unaware of the
man beneath the mask, had been awed by his charm? She wondered
if a housewife from Arlington would have been, and then knew the
answer. Four years ago, Amanda King would have been startled but
impressed that such an important man was taking an interest in
her.
"Ricardo, I think we need to get back to the party." Turning to
walk towards the partially closed door, she started when he
grabbed her wrist. "Please, let me go."
He smiled instead and walked closer to her. She could smell the
hint of brandy on his breath. "Amanda, please, I think we could
be friends."
She tried to yank back her hand, but Estevez held on tight. Her
smile was stiff when she said: "We can be friends at the party
just like we can be here."
He stepped closer. "Oh, Amanda, surely you are not that naive."
Grasping her upper arms, he pulled her to him. His fingers dug
into her flesh, hurting her. The nervousness she had been
feeling left her. She could handle this man; her physical
training at the Agency had progressed far enough for her to know
it.
She noticed how close her fingers were to his eyes, one of the
most vulnerable parts of the human body. The way he was standing
would make it easy for someone, even with her small body weight,
to knock him off balance. His belief that he was the one in
total control made him vulnerable. If Evelyn and Dean failed to
appear, Amanda would teach Ricardo Estevez a lesson he would not
soon forget.
"Let me go," she said again. This time her tone was firm and
insistent. She began to struggle against his hold, but showed no
signs that she soon planned to attack.
"I don't think so!" She saw the glimmer of amusement in his
eyes, and realized that for him it was all a game. She was not a
woman; she was a conquest to be made. He leaned over to kiss her
just as Amanda decided that she had had enough.
"Ricardo!" Evelyn's shocked shriek hurt Amanda's ears.
He finally let her go and walked towards his girlfriend, his
hands stretched out in appeal. "Evelyn, it's not--" Amanda
barely kept the relieved smile off her face as the man struggled
to explain what was happening. However, the look in Evelyn's
eyes told Amanda that the game was up for Estevez. At least, he
would no longer be welcomed back into the Senator's parties.
"You Son of a--" The sound of bone hitting bone finished the
sentence for Dean. Amanda jumped, and Evelyn screamed, as
Ricardo fell to the floor in an undignified sprawl. Thinking
quickly, Amanda stepped between the two men to keep Dean from
doing any more damage.
"What's going on here?" demanded the loud booming voice of the
Senator. The tension left Amanda; it was over.
Dean, his fist clinched tightly, spun around to confront his
mother's boss. "Estevez here tried to force himself on Amanda!"
"I did no such thing," her assailant said from the floor,
managing to sound like an insulted man. "She was asking for--"
Dean tenderly put his hand on Amanda's arm and showed the bruises
that were already beginning to form. "Does this look like
someone asking?"
Amanda saw the Great Senator briefly mourn the loss of Estevez's
money before he ordered the man out of his home. He might want
what the man had to give, but even the mere hint of a sex scandal
could ruin anyone's career. He dared not take the risk.
Smiling, Estevez stood and wiped the small line of blood from his
lip before straightening his coat. Then, polite as always, he
wished everyone a good night. Watching him walk away, Amanda
shivered as his eyes met hers.
***
"So, Dean spent the rest of the night apologizing to me," Amanda
told Billy before taking a sip of her coffee, trying to ease the
chill that had been with her since Estevez had left the Senator's
party. Neither Billy nor Francine had said anything about the
risks she took earlier, but their pointed looks at her bruises
told her their opinions. Fortunately, there was no sign of Lee
in the van tonight. She wondered how hard Billy had worked to
keep him away.
"And Mrs. Hunter?"
Amanda's smile was about as weak as the coffee. "She apologized,
but she--" She shook her head. "She was really hurting, Sir."
Billy sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Not as much as she would
if she had known he was just using her to get to Ferris."
"I know, Sir, but I really hated seeing it," Amanda mumbled.
Although she had never been able to actually like Evelyn McGuire
Hunter, she did not want to see anyone hurting.
"At least," Billy said after a few moments of silence, "you got
Estevez away from his easy source."
She nodded, rubbing her hand over her tired eyes. "Where do we
go from here?" The brief hint of discomfort that flashed across
Billy's face made Amanda wish she had not asked the question.
"Lee and a few other of our agents are still tracking down
information about the bidding war going on right now. Miller and
his men are keeping a close eye on Estevez and his bank accounts.
Francine's coordinating all the information, and you--"
Billy sighed. "You are going to go out with Dean tomorrow.
Amanda," he said, stopping her from protesting by holding up his
hand. "We need someone next to the Senator, at least for his
entertaining since Miller's got the office covered, and you are
already there."
"Three dates in three nights? Dean's going to think we are
getting serious again." Standing up to leave, she put on her
shawl and thought of how easy it was to break a man's heart. And
how it could haunt her for years afterwards.
(End 2 of 3)
SMKSMK--signals the beginning or end of a flashback
***--transition
(2 of 3)
SMKSMKSMKSMK
Sipping her soup, Amanda wished she had some duct tape. Or a
large apple. Anything to get him to shut up for more than two
minutes. Casually looking around the table, she noticed that
everyone was spellbound by the Senator. Or trying to act like
they were. She wished Lee were sitting beside her, so they could
exchange a shared amused glance.
However, Dean listened intently to everything that the Great
Senator from New York had to say. Only the lessons on manners
that her mother worked so hard to teach her kept her from yawning
or laughing. The urge to yawn came from the Great Senator's
instance on talking about himself. She wanted to laugh because
while the Agency was assuming that Evelyn was the one sharing too
much information, it was really her boss who could not keep his
mouth shut.
Tonight, she learned more about Robert Ferris's upcoming trip to
the Midwest than she had in a top-secret briefing yesterday
afternoon. She now knew most of the key Mid-Easter officials
that would be taking part, as well as where most of them stood on
the idea of peace. Patting her mouth with her napkin, she
glanced over to where Evelyn and her handsome escort sat.
She could definitely see what Evelyn Hunter liked about the man.
The dark looks and those intense eyes--Amanda felt like he was x-
raying her when they were introduced earlier. His manners were
also impeccable. With a voice that only held a hint of his
Spanish accent, he complimented every woman on something. For
Amanda, it had been her hair. The men liked him for his relaxed
demeanor and the way he had of making every one of them feel
important. Oh, and the mere fact he was wealthy--very wealthy--
made him perfect by Evelyn's standards.
However, Amanda saw a few things about Estevez that surprised
her. Evelyn liked everything neat and correctly in its place.
Her date had a hint of wildness about him. He smoked cigars-only
if he was in the room set-aside for the boys--and drank wine
heavily. His dark, rich hair was a little long for this
conservative crowd; it almost reached the bottom of his tuxedo
collar. The style was a little unkempt, and the three rings on
his fingers were larger than any the ladies wore.
He glanced in her direction. For a second, she felt like a deer
frozen by the headlights of an approaching car. The look in his
eyes sent a chill down her spin. She recognized it for what it
was, but somehow when Lee looked at her that way it made her feel
special. Estevez's lustful gaze made her feel like a cheap piece
of meat. Nodding his head in her direction, he turned his
attention back to Farris's rambling.
Seeing the cold, calculating expression on his face, Amanda knew
he was taking careful notes in his head. She turned to listen to
the Great Senator. As she laughed at a joke she heard six months
earlier--and many times since--she wiped the top of her hand with
her napkin underneath the tablecloth. She rubbed so hard it
burned, but she desperately wanted to remove all traces of
Estevez's earlier gallant kiss there. *As if he could give me
warts,* she thought with a silent laugh.
Again, Amanda remembered how she was four years ago. The
housewife from Arlington would have been enchanted by Estevez's
looks and his charm. Today, she wanted to go take a scalding hot
shower just from being in the same room with him for so long.
She saw him for the egotistical, maniacal, money-hungry,
murdering toad that he was.
Laughing at a joke she first heard in the eighth grade--and many
times since--Amanda wished she were in a mountain cabin.
Surrounded by people she either did not like, did not trust, or
found incredibly boring, she dreamed of being surrounded by the
incredibly warm arms of her husband.
***
"Where's your thoughts at, Amanda?"
Startled, she looked over at her date for the night. Laughing,
she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about
work."
Dean leaned over and whispered, "It's rude to think of work
during a date." Remembering how he used to always correct her
manners, she almost frowned. Instead, she forced herself to
laugh as she had when they dated for real.
To her surprise, he joined her in her laughter. "Of course, all
my dates start out with work. 'Nice weather we are having, isn't
it?' they say. And I reply, 'Yes, but a cold front is moving in
tonight, and there is an eighty-three percent chance of showers
tomorrow.' Ends small talk real quick when you can't talk about
the weather casually."
Seeing the humor on his face, Amanda actually laughed. The Dean
she dated all those years ago had a wonderful wit about him.
Unfortunately, it had been directed at other people, which
usually left her feeling uncomfortable. Tonight, he was laughing
at *himself*, something he had never done in the months they
dated.
It was only by sheer will that she kept herself from yanking back
her hand when he reached over to hold it. Reminding herself that
she was doing work and not cheating on Lee, Amanda forced her
hand to relax. Even though her rings were safely stowed away at
Lee's, she imagined that she could feel their presence on her
finger.
"So, do you think the Senator will ever find another topic
besides himself to talk about?"
She struggled to find something polite to say. "Everyone seemed
to find him witty and charming."
He shook his head. "I forgot. You aren't used to this types of
parties." Amanda resisted the urge to tell him she had even been
to a few of the private parties at the White House. "In DC,
nothing is as it seems. Everyone there, except my mother, finds
him to be an arrogant bore."
Gathering the collar of his coat closer together to ward off the
mild chill, he sighed. "Don't get me wrong, Amanda. He gave
Mother a job after Zachery died. She didn't need the money, but
she needed something to do, something that made her feel
important. I'll always be thankful to Richard Farris for giving
her that, but I hate everything about politics. I must have been
out of my mind to invite you tonight."
She smiled and squeezed his hand. "I had a good time." After
the words left her mouth, she realized it was true. She actually
had had a good time.
"I'm glad. Now, what do you say to getting some real food?
Maybe some hot-dogs smothered in chili, cheese and onions?"
She stopped walking. A sleek, black limousine drove past, but
neither one of them paid any attention to it. The streets of DC
were full of them. "Dean McGruire? Volunteering to eat hot-
dogs?"
Sticking his hands in his pockets, he turned to look at her.
"I'm not the same man you once knew, Amanda."
Crossing her arms, she looked at the man standing before her.
His appearance was the same--a few more wrinkles and a few gray
hairs maybe. However, his eyes had a sadness in them that she
had not seen before. His face seemed softer, too. More open to
the joys of life. "I can see that." She glanced down at her
feet, and then looked back up with a smile. "I'm not the same
Amanda King you once knew, either."
"I can see that, too." At her questioning look, he laughed.
Walking back to stand in front of her, he waved his hands.
"Everything about you seems different. The way you fix your
hair--it's less frazzled and more sophisticated. The way you
walk is more confident. The way you dress says 'I am a
professional.' I can see the kind-hearted woman I knew, but she
has a new sparkle that I find fascinating."
Noticing the discreet, white van parked across the road, Amanda
reached out and took his hand. "Let's go get those hot-dogs."
When Dean put his arm around her waist and helped guide her back
towards the car, she glanced over at the van. Even though she
saw the general outline of Fred Fielder sitting in the driver's
seat, she felt Lee's unseen eyes burning into her back.
***
"I am stuffed," Amanda declared, pushing the little checkered
cardboard away from her. After the cold, tasteless chicken they
ate earlier, the hot-dogs had been a gourmet meal.
Dean patted his stomach and nodded. "Yeah, I am, too, but they
were *good*."
She laughed at his goofy grin. "So, tell me how Dean McGuire
became a man who *likes* to eat hot-dogs."
Leaning forward, he wrapped his hands around his cup of coffee.
Looking down at the almost-cold liquid, he shook his head. "You
heard that I got married?"
"Yeah, I heard." She thought of the marriage certificate lying
in one of the many folders she examined yesterday. Right behind
it had been the divorce decree.
"She changed my life, Amanda. As sappy as that sounds, it's
true." Her heart hurt seeing the pain in his eyes. She reached
over and gently patted his arm. He smiled at her.
"I met Candy a few months after that weekend." She knew which
weekend he was referring, too. The marriage of Evelyn McGuire to
Zachary Hunter had been the end of their relationship. Dean had
realized that Amanda fell far short of his mother's expectations,
and Amanda had accepted that Dean fell far short of hers.
Grinning, he took a sip of his coffee. "She had just started her
job as weatherman then, and I did not expect to like her.
Watching her at nights, I would cringe. She knew nothing about
the weather; she was there just for her looks."
Thinking of the few times she had seen Candy Malone's weather
report, she agreed. However, if Dean had married her, maybe her
airheadness was an act. "So, she surprised you with your
intelligence."
His laugh was soft and husky. "Oh, no, she didn't. She's just
like she is on-air." She struggled to think of something to say.
He smiled and leaned forward. "It's okay, Amanda. I would have
never seen me marrying anyone like her, either."
He watched the cars going by the window for a minute, and then
turned his attention back to her. "She was amazing. I had never
met anyone like her--she just enjoyed life. I was drawn to her.
I felt like a fly caught in a spider's web, only she didn't take
away my life. She gave it to me."
A hint of blush touched Dean's cheeks. "I married her a week
later in Los Vegas."
"What? I can't believe your mother approved." As soon as the
words left her mouth, she winced. She really wished she could
take them back.
Looking up at Dean, she was surprised to see amusement in his
eyes. His mother had been a saint when Amanda dated him.
Tossing his empty coffee cup into the pile of garbage in front of
him, he said, "She didn't. In fact, she was horrified." He
shrugged. "I didn't care, because Candy forced me to grasp a
horrible truth--I wanted to marry anyone *but* my mother, and the
way I was heading, I was going to marry someone just like her."
After looking over his shoulder, he leaned forward and whispered,
"*That* scared me to death."
Amanda's hand shot up to cover her mouth as she startled
laughing. "I'm sorry," she said between gasps.
He laughed with her. "Don't be. I love my mother, Amanda. I'm
not sure I like her, but I do love her. I see her faults, and I
don't bother trying to live up to her standards anymore."
"Candy made you see all this?"
"She might be perky," he said with a large grin on her face.
"But she also is very straight forward. For some reason unknown
to me this day, I took her home to Mother's right after I met
her. Having been in the hot seat yourself, I'm sure you can well
imagine how unpleasant the evening was for us both."
She nodded, barely managing to keep from shivering at the memory.
"On the way back, I started the usual. Mother tells me what she
sees wrong with my date, and I turn around and begin to be her
mouthpiece. Doesn't matter if I personally agree or disagree
with the opinion. Or at least that's how it used to be. I'm
sure you remember all my subtle hints about staying home with the
boys more after that missed luncheon with Mother."
Noticing the greasy-faced kid behind the counter looking up at
the clock, she pointed to her watch. "I think it's closing
time."
He glanced down at his wrist in surprise. "Well past it
actually! Come on, we can talk outside."
Listening to the soft jingle of the door closing behind her,
Amanda shivered. The night had grown colder. She turned to look
at Dean who held up a hand. "I know--it's getting late and you
need to get home. I'll drive you back to IFF."
"I can take a cab," she offered.
Opening his car door, Dean stood and waited for her. Amanda
quickly sat down in the passenger seat, shaking her head. As the
car engine roared to life, she wondered how to go about making
the second date. Normally, she found this part of dating hard
enough without the added pressure of saving lives.
"How did you all put up with me, Amanda?"
"What?" Her attention was partially on Dean. The rest was
focused on the black limousine glaring back at her in the
rearview mirror.
"The jerk I was back then. How did you all keep your patience
for so long?"
Noticing the white van passing them as the taxi driven by
Francine got in position, she returned her attention back to her
date. Shifting in the seat so that she could look at him better,
she said, "You weren't a jerk. You were--are--a very nice man."
Dean smoothly turned the wheel of the vehicle. "Even Dotty got
fed up with me in the end after hearing all my mother's
suggestions--from my mouth--on how she could improve. Me, I
adored her just the way she was. The kind of mother I always
wanted."
She opened her mouth to deny Dotty's frustrations, but could not.
"Yes, she did get upset with you. So, you are a nice man who
made some mistakes."
Dean took his eyes off the road for a split second. "I think
this is where, in the movies, the hero tells the girl that losing
her was one of them, but I never had you."
She opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but he shook his head.
"I never had your love. You cared for me and about me, but you
didn't love me."
Looking back out the side window, she admitted, "No, I didn't."
As they pulled to a stop in front of IFF, silence filled the car.
"Amanda, if I were the man I am today back then, would you have
loved me? I mean if I met Candy or someone else like her who
would have told me 'If you want to marry a woman that your mother
will like, then go out and marry a woman just like her. If you
want me, then accept me just as I am, because if I try to change,
you and I both will be miserable.' If I had opened eyes back
then, do you think you could have loved me?"
*Way to go, Candy!* Amanda thought with a mental smile. Then,
thinking about his question, she remembered feeling incredibly
safe with him when she desperately needed to feel safe. Dean
gave her stability when her life seemed to be upside down. As
time passed, she had begun to crave some of the spontaneity and
joy she saw in him tonight. "If Amanda King of four years ago
was sitting here, she could fall in love with you I think."
"She's not though."
"No, she's not," she admitted, looking down at her hands.
He smiled when she looked up at him. "I guess then the challenge
is whether or not the new Amanda King can fall in love with the
new me."
She ached to tell him that there was no possibility, that her
heart was no longer hers to give. However, she had an assignment
to do, so she smiled and nodded. "I guess so."
He looked away, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
"Well, I'm glad I went into that store today. I never shop there
anymore."
She thought of all the careful planning that went into making
sure the meeting looked accidental. Since she remembered his
usual habits, she had decided the when and where. She had
immediately thought of Mega-mart at 9:15 am as the best place and
time. "I'm glad you did, too."
"Look, Amanda, the Senator's leaving for an important trip next
week--Well, I guess you heard about that tonight." She laughed,
wishing she could tell him how much knew about the trip before
hearing the Great Senator's running commentary on how important
his important trip was to the good of the country.
"So, all this week, he has dinners or parties or something
planned every night and Mother has agreed to attend them all and
is dragging me to them. I know--"
Realizing that he was about to give her an out for this week, she
rushed to make sure she stayed in this week's plans. "I would
love to go!"
Hopefully, he would believe that she misunderstood his
intentions. Seeing the startled but pleased look on his face,
Amanda relaxed. He had thought just as she hoped he would. "Do
you want me to pick you up at the house?"
She shifted in the small bucket seat. "The boys--"
He held up his hand. "I understand. Say no more. I missed them
a lot after we broke up the first time. I don't want to hurt
them, either, if this doesn't work out this time." He grasped
the door handle and gently forced the door open after checking to
make sure no cars were approaching. She smiled, relieved that
not everything had changed.
Taking his hand, Amanda got out of the car. The cool night
breeze blew by them, making them both pull their thin coats a
little tighter. "I guess I will pick you up here about six-
thirty?"
She smiled in agreement. Then, reminding herself that this was a
date, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "I had a
good time tonight, Dean." She had enjoyed getting to know this
man again.
"I did, too. Goodnight, Amanda," he said before turning to walk
around the car.
"I'm sorry about Candy," she called.
He stopped to look at her. "Don't be; I'm not. So, she left me
for her perky anchor. She gave me something I can never repay
her for, and I knew when I married her she wasn't the forever
type." With a small wave, he got in the car and drove away.
Sighing, she turned to go make her report to Billy.
***
"Have a seat, Amanda. I was just listening to the earlier
tapes," Billy said. Long-gone were his necktie and jacket. The
front of his shirt was partially opened, showing the ribbed t-
shirt beneath it, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.
After tossing her jacket over the back of Lee's usual chair, she
sank into the seat gratefully. "I can't believe it is Farris
that's giving Estevez all his information."
"You think it's deliberate?" Billy leaned back in his chair.
Thinking of the egotistical creature she watched at dinner, she
shook her head. "No, I think he just likes to talk too much."
He nodded in agreement. "We've got more than our share of egos
here in DC."
She laughed. "If I did not know that before, I do now. I used
to wonder why we just didn't send out lists of suspected
information brokers. That way the Senators, Congressmen, and all
the other bureaucrats would know to be on the lookout for them."
He shrugged. "They don't believe it without absolute proof."
Amanda rubbed her temple as the beginning of a headache throbbed.
"Yeah, I know. Some political rival is just trying to make their
financial supporter look bad, or so they usually think."
His light chuckle helped her to relax. "I think you might have
been in this business too long, Mrs. King."
"Almost sounds that way, doesn't it?" she answered with a sad
smile. Amazing how one gunshot made you question so much of your
life. A part of her missed the younger Amanda, the one that had
been a little more naive about life. However, looking out to the
almost empty bullpen, Amanda knew if she could go back in time,
she would still take that package from Lee.
"Anything in particular you want to report?" Billy asked,
getting back to business.
She shook her head. "Not really, Sir, but I think I have an idea
of how to get Ricardo Estevez out of Ferris's informative dinner
speeches."
He waited for her to finish. Shifting in her chair, she hoped
Lee would not hear what she was about to say until after it
tomorrow night. Playing with her necklace, Amanda explained her
plan. "Evelyn doesn't like to look bad. Estevez is a playboy
who likes to do more than eye the ladies. He kept a lot of his
attention on me tonight--I think because I was with Dean, and
Dean doesn't like him. Anyway, it shouldn't take much for me to
get him in a compromising position, and when Evelyn sees it,
she'll hit the roof."
"If that's the way you think he needs to be played, play it, but
be careful," Billy agreed finally after several minutes. The
looks flirting across his face told her it had been a hard
decision for him. Was he wondering if she could handle it?
"I will, Sir. Any information about who Estevez might be selling
to?"
He handed her a folder. Glancing through it, she saw some of the
top leaders of terrorism in the Middle East. "Thanks to the
efforts of some of our best agents, we now know it's a bidding
war right now. Everyone wants the credit for destroying
America's peace talks in the Middle East."
She continued to look down at the faces of some of the craziest
men in the world. "The Senator didn't reveal the location. As
soon as Estevez has that, he has it all, doesn't he?"
Billy stood up and yawned. "Go home, Amanda. Sleep in, in the
morning. I don't want you pushing yourself too hard."
Reaching for her coat, she got up from her chair. She knew that
the strain of tonight was etched on her face, but there was no
way to hide it. "I'm fine, Sir. I'm physically fit."
"I know you are, Amanda." He was silent for a few heartbeats,
and then, "Listening to your conversation earlier, I thought
about how people change over time."
"That they do." She shook her head, thinking of Dean.
"I was thinking of Lee."
She turned to face him. "Lee?"
Nodding, he sat down on the couch, far away from her. "Yes, I
was remembering a time he jumped on top of a moving train because
a suspect was inside. He knew the man had a tracking device on
him, and yet jumped off that overpass." Shaking his head, Billy
looked down at his hands. "Then, just for fun, he raced a
Chinese agent through the hills of San Diego."
"Lee would do both those things today, Sir."
He smiled, even as he shook his head. "No, Amanda, he wouldn't.
Oh, he would jump on the top of the train and race through the
hills of San Diego. Just not for ego or fun. I used to watch
him get hurt, and then race off somewhere else without a thought.
Now, he's more cautious. He'll take the risks *if* they are
necessary. Personally, I think it's made him a better agent."
Amanda stood by the door, the handle loosely in her grasp.
"Thank you, Sir," she whispered, wondering if he had a psychology
degree hidden away somewhere.
"Oh, I was just telling you what I was thinking about earlier."
Smiling, she nodded. "I know, Sir. Good night, Sir."
"Good night, Amanda."
***
"She could fall in love with you?" Amanda did not even jump when
Lee's quiet voice came out of the darkness. Her husband walked
out of the corner of her bedroom so she could see him clearer.
Taking off her shoes, she sighed. "You weren't supposed to be in
the van." Her toes curled into the carpet, free at last.
"I know."
"Billy's going to have your head on a platter tomorrow when he
finds out you were in the van."
"I know."
She reached up to take off the small diamond earrings she was
wearing and the small clip in her hair. She shook her head so
her hair would fall down freely around her face, and almost
moaned from the feeling of release. Tonight had been rough.
"Estevez's men followed me home, but I don't think they stayed to
watch."
Lee nodded as he sat on the edge of the bed to watch her slide
out of the black sheath dress. "You were the only new one at the
dinner tonight. Everyone else was an old 'friend' of the
Senators."
She reached into her dresser drawer for a nightgown. As her hand
touched cotton, she wished she had one of the fancy ones she kept
at Lee's. Then, remembering what she told the princess, she
grinned and tugged the soft gown over her head. "Amanda, you
look exhausted."
"I think that's the pot calling the kettle black, and I'm already
at home."
He smiled and stood up to leave, but sat back down as she
strolled towards him. He looked over at the door. "The boys are
here."
With a gentle push, Lee fell back on the bed. She crawled over
him. "You know, if we were like most normal married people--"
"But they would know we were married if they overheard us--."
She leaned down to kiss him. "I know. Now, get out of that
jacket and your shoes."
Lee's gaze went back to the door. "Amanda--"
She laughed softly and shook her head. "I just want you to get
some sleep. You can get up before anyone else in the morning,
and then you are going to follow the zero contact outside the
Agency that Billy ordered." She would sleep far better in his
arms, even if he had to get up real early to keep from being seen
or heard. She needed him to stay with her tonight. In his arms,
she could keep the nightmares caged.
He opened his mouth to protest, but Amanda knew her look would
stop him. She jumped off to the side and let him stand. After
taking his jacket and shoes off, he slid into the bed with her.
Gathering her into his arms, he drew the covers over them both.
She sighed and relaxed into his embrace.
Lee, however, felt like a wood plank beneath her. "So, you could
fall in love with him?" The way he sounded reminded Amanda of
Jamie after Joe left. Late one night, she had found him sitting
by the door, the one his father had walked through to leave his
family for the wilds of Africa. "Does he still love me?" Jamie
had finally asked.
Shaking her head, Amanda began to draw little patterns on Lee's
chest. "No, *I* couldn't love him." Lifting her head just
enough to see his face, she said, "*I* love *you*." Laying her
head back down, she sighed. "The woman I used to be could have
loved him."
She could tell from the way he remained so still that he did not
understand. "Could you go out with Randi-baby today and enjoy
it?"
"Well--" She could feel his blush.
"You know what I mean!"
Lee laughed softly, suddenly becoming like a firm, but soft,
pillow. "No, I would be bored out of my mind."
She laughed softly, careful not to be too loud. "I know. Dean's
like a candle that has been lit now. I can appreciate the great
qualities of that flame, but I *want* the roaring fire."
He hugged her close, telling her silently that he understood. He
might not like it, but he understood. Feeling the binds of sleep
pulling at her, she yawned. She had been up late last night and
worked hard all day. "By the way, great job on finding out about
the bidding war for Estevez's information."
"Billy wasn't supposed to tell you about me joining the team."
She could imagine the fight in Billy's office after she left
yesterday to do her own research on the case. "He didn't," she
mumbled. The soothing sound of Lee's heartbeat helped lure her
towards sleep. Her heavy eyelids closed. "I just knew."
***
The sound of her heart pounding made it difficult for her to hear
what Estevez was saying. Looking around the richly decorated
room, Amanda wanted to shiver. She was far more alone here than
she wanted to be, and she knew it meant she was in far more
danger than she wanted to be. Hopefully, Dean and his mother
would soon stumble upon her. Francine, dressed as a waitress,
was supposed to gently lead them in her direction.
"You are a very beautiful woman, Amanda," Estevez said with a
grin that made her want to shiver.
She reached up and began to play with the heart pendant at her
throat. "Thank you, Ricardo. I thought there was something you
wanted to show me?"
"No," he said with a small shake of his head. Amanda could see
the predator inside shinning through his eyes. He reached over
and gently pulled the cork out of the decanter of brandy. The
small popping sound it made almost caused her to jump. He
grinned at her nervousness. "I wanted to have a few minutes
alone to talk. We don't really know each other."
He grinned at her, and Amanda weakly returned it. Shivering
slightly, she crossed her arms and began to lightly rub them.
"Not much to tell," she said with a voice that was shaking
slightly. She wished it was all part of the act, but Estevez
made her nervous. Even worse, Lee was nowhere around this time.
"I'm a documentary film editor's assistant, and a mom. I have
two boys at home, and I used to date Dean a few years ago.
That's about it," she said with a shrug.
Taking a few steps away from him so that she could walk behind
the desk, Amanda struggled to smile. "And you are a man who
works in finance and whose picture is seen a lot in the
newspapers."
His laugh was husky. The sound made Amanda's heart beat faster--
in fear. Hopefully, Evelyn would soon be here. Dean always
arrived right on time for their dates, but he was no Lee Stetson.
Would he arrive just when Amanda needed him to, or would he be
too late? "You don't seem all that impressed with that, Amanda.
Most ladies around here are."
"Well," she answered, playing with the telephone cord. "I'm just
a housewife really, with two boys and a mortgage. None of this
really seems real, you know?"
She watched the dark amber liquid swirl in Estevez's glass as he
walked around to stand in front of her. "I say it probably does
seem a little different from what you are used to seeing."
She thought of her life before Lee Stetson walked into it. No
embassy parties. No meeting important guests and heads of state.
No guns aimed at her. "Yes, it is." Taking a couple of steps
back, she smiled. "Everyone here seems to be wearing a mask."
Sitting down his glass, Estevez laughed. "We are," he said with
a grin that made her skin crawl. How many women, unaware of the
man beneath the mask, had been awed by his charm? She wondered
if a housewife from Arlington would have been, and then knew the
answer. Four years ago, Amanda King would have been startled but
impressed that such an important man was taking an interest in
her.
"Ricardo, I think we need to get back to the party." Turning to
walk towards the partially closed door, she started when he
grabbed her wrist. "Please, let me go."
He smiled instead and walked closer to her. She could smell the
hint of brandy on his breath. "Amanda, please, I think we could
be friends."
She tried to yank back her hand, but Estevez held on tight. Her
smile was stiff when she said: "We can be friends at the party
just like we can be here."
He stepped closer. "Oh, Amanda, surely you are not that naive."
Grasping her upper arms, he pulled her to him. His fingers dug
into her flesh, hurting her. The nervousness she had been
feeling left her. She could handle this man; her physical
training at the Agency had progressed far enough for her to know
it.
She noticed how close her fingers were to his eyes, one of the
most vulnerable parts of the human body. The way he was standing
would make it easy for someone, even with her small body weight,
to knock him off balance. His belief that he was the one in
total control made him vulnerable. If Evelyn and Dean failed to
appear, Amanda would teach Ricardo Estevez a lesson he would not
soon forget.
"Let me go," she said again. This time her tone was firm and
insistent. She began to struggle against his hold, but showed no
signs that she soon planned to attack.
"I don't think so!" She saw the glimmer of amusement in his
eyes, and realized that for him it was all a game. She was not a
woman; she was a conquest to be made. He leaned over to kiss her
just as Amanda decided that she had had enough.
"Ricardo!" Evelyn's shocked shriek hurt Amanda's ears.
He finally let her go and walked towards his girlfriend, his
hands stretched out in appeal. "Evelyn, it's not--" Amanda
barely kept the relieved smile off her face as the man struggled
to explain what was happening. However, the look in Evelyn's
eyes told Amanda that the game was up for Estevez. At least, he
would no longer be welcomed back into the Senator's parties.
"You Son of a--" The sound of bone hitting bone finished the
sentence for Dean. Amanda jumped, and Evelyn screamed, as
Ricardo fell to the floor in an undignified sprawl. Thinking
quickly, Amanda stepped between the two men to keep Dean from
doing any more damage.
"What's going on here?" demanded the loud booming voice of the
Senator. The tension left Amanda; it was over.
Dean, his fist clinched tightly, spun around to confront his
mother's boss. "Estevez here tried to force himself on Amanda!"
"I did no such thing," her assailant said from the floor,
managing to sound like an insulted man. "She was asking for--"
Dean tenderly put his hand on Amanda's arm and showed the bruises
that were already beginning to form. "Does this look like
someone asking?"
Amanda saw the Great Senator briefly mourn the loss of Estevez's
money before he ordered the man out of his home. He might want
what the man had to give, but even the mere hint of a sex scandal
could ruin anyone's career. He dared not take the risk.
Smiling, Estevez stood and wiped the small line of blood from his
lip before straightening his coat. Then, polite as always, he
wished everyone a good night. Watching him walk away, Amanda
shivered as his eyes met hers.
***
"So, Dean spent the rest of the night apologizing to me," Amanda
told Billy before taking a sip of her coffee, trying to ease the
chill that had been with her since Estevez had left the Senator's
party. Neither Billy nor Francine had said anything about the
risks she took earlier, but their pointed looks at her bruises
told her their opinions. Fortunately, there was no sign of Lee
in the van tonight. She wondered how hard Billy had worked to
keep him away.
"And Mrs. Hunter?"
Amanda's smile was about as weak as the coffee. "She apologized,
but she--" She shook her head. "She was really hurting, Sir."
Billy sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Not as much as she would
if she had known he was just using her to get to Ferris."
"I know, Sir, but I really hated seeing it," Amanda mumbled.
Although she had never been able to actually like Evelyn McGuire
Hunter, she did not want to see anyone hurting.
"At least," Billy said after a few moments of silence, "you got
Estevez away from his easy source."
She nodded, rubbing her hand over her tired eyes. "Where do we
go from here?" The brief hint of discomfort that flashed across
Billy's face made Amanda wish she had not asked the question.
"Lee and a few other of our agents are still tracking down
information about the bidding war going on right now. Miller and
his men are keeping a close eye on Estevez and his bank accounts.
Francine's coordinating all the information, and you--"
Billy sighed. "You are going to go out with Dean tomorrow.
Amanda," he said, stopping her from protesting by holding up his
hand. "We need someone next to the Senator, at least for his
entertaining since Miller's got the office covered, and you are
already there."
"Three dates in three nights? Dean's going to think we are
getting serious again." Standing up to leave, she put on her
shawl and thought of how easy it was to break a man's heart. And
how it could haunt her for years afterwards.
(End 2 of 3)