Same disclaimers apply as with the first part. Since a reviewer kindly, but unnecessarily pointed out to me, I decided I'd warn everyone, I am HORRIBLE with the rules of grammar and punctuation (I try honest, I will learn one day…) – just mentally fix any errors while you read (but if I've made any blatant errors please e-mail me the specifics so I can fix them, I'd really appreciate that, thanks). All songs mentioned are property of their respective owners and Nightcrawler's musical tastes comes from his bio…the Beatles just happen to be one of my all time favorite bands too, so it makes it easier to use their music. If Kurt seems a little too moody and broody (he's learning from Cyke…j/k…and I love Scott, so don't get mad) this comes from the side he hides so well by being cheerful and a prankster – c'mon the kid was abandoned less than an hour after his birth and chased from village to village. Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed – I really appreciate it ~~~~ I feel sooo special. ^_^ FYI … 'this means someone's thoughts'… and ~voice in someone's mind other than their own…' Now, on with the fic…
Running With Shadows
Part 2 – Daybreak
And I will do anything,
Anything, you understand?
Just to wake up.
Kurt's skin trembled beneath his damp fur as he sat in bed with his gaze seemingly transfixed on his dirty t-shirt. The t-shirt however was nowhere near being a concern to him at the moment. That was twice in one night, but he considered himself fortunate to have fallen back to sleep the second time (well, maybe his porting all over the mansion grounds before plopping back in bed had a little to do with it). He'd spent two hours listening to BNL and the Beatles in an effort to focus the direction of his dreams. He'd replayed, "Pinch Me" eight times and when he got tired of that he played "Here, There and Everywhere" over and over trying to concentrate on one of his happiest thoughts.
It was focusing on this thought that probably sparked his subconscious into another bout of nightmares. But it was hard to think about her without sometimes thinking about him. This, was of course a topic he usually avoided, it wasn't that he minded himself; I mean he was born like this – it was natural, so it didn't bother him. What bothered him was that it bothered everyone else and it wasn't just the superstitious townspeople either. That had been bad, downright cruel in fact, but loathe as he was to admit it and not that he condoned it – he understood it. The same way he tried to make himself understand, though it always cut a little the way Kitty looked at those cute football players or the "hottie" as she'd say at the arcade – the way she would never look at him. So then why did it hurt so much if he understood? Because even though he accepted his appearance, others had to "Get used to it…" as the professor had so nicely put it – but it hadn't made Kurt feel any better.
Each of his teammates had
to live with the fear of being discovered; he knew it was hard on them too.
Scott, could never take off his shades – '…does he even remember vhat color
his eyes are…?' Evan, well his powers were a little easier to hide – '…as
long as he's careful no one can tell, but do they ever hurt him as much as they
could potentially hurt someone else…?' Jean, well Jean was just your
average, understanding, popular and beautiful 17 year old – and she wasn't
self-absorbed in the slightest as she could have been – '…her powers caused
her pain in the beginning, but it's so easy to hide them… ' Kitty, did he
really want to think about her, did he ever stop? She could phase through just
about anything – '…it has its convenient uses, though she's not crazy about
being different – who is…?' And then there was Rogue, he sympathized with
her the most, she was isolated – no human contact – ever. He found it hard to
pity himself when he thought about her powers – he couldn't touch anyone either
because they'd know what he was instantly. '…but I can still touch others,
even if it is only a few and will never…who are you kidding man, you'll only
depress yourself more…'
He flung the covers completely off of him with a little rougher than was required, drudging over to his closet. His fur flared up a bit with the sensation of the chills he had throughout his skin. He hated this part of waking up; he'd barely get any sleep, toss and turn all night through, wake up covered in sweat, haunted by shattered memories of his dreams and nearly catch cold as one of his top ten worst feelings coursed through him. The feel of chilled sweat on skin (or fur) that was nearly burning up moments before as it was hit with the cool morning air.
Well, time for the start of what was turning into his morning ritual, after picking out clothes, popping in a CD in an effort to calm down, as much as one can calm down while finishing that put off homework, he ported to the bathroom. When the smoke dispersed Kurt nearly ported back to his room out of shock. He looked, well – frightening, and '…it's not because of the fur and tail,…' Kurt thought while fingering the deep and dark markings under his eyes. The worst part came when he bent to retrieve the clothing he'd dropped. A piercing jolt cut its way from between his shoulder blades and went through to the point of his tail. It was beyond agonizing to feel, but he was just too weak to do more than choke on his cry of pain.
He half crawled his way into the shower from where he'd nearly collapsed on the tiles and turned on a brutal stream of the scorching water that usually soothed him. Generally, somehow the hot water erased all traces of the fouler parts of his mood and allowed him to work up a fairly civil mood of good cheer, or at least enough to hide how he'd really been feeling the past few weeks.
He'd easily balanced and hid all traces for a while now, but lately it was getting harder and harder to drag himself to school in the morning, or for an outing with everyone on the weekends – fortunately no one had noticed, yet. '…vell at least the inducer is good for that, can't see the marks under my eyes…' His nightmares were so real, well they were his memories being replayed for the most part after all. Except his recurring dream hadn't happened exactly like that in his past and some of the other dreams he had were just mismatched memories merging themselves, he we there, experiencing it all over again. There, was one of the many problems, he lived them again through his eyes AND his body. When he woke from a dream where he'd been struck that part of him ached for a few hours after he got up and forget it if he'd been running.
This morning was no different, if not worse.
*****
As Celine serenaded the neat bedroom she was nearly crushed to death as Kitty swung an arm out from under the sheets and smacked the off switch.
'Ohhh, morning already? And I was having like so close to figuring it out this time.' Kitty allowed a wide grin to dominate her face as she mused in the lingering thoughts surrounding her dream. She'd been in this beautiful forest relishing the perfect play of sunlight through the trees and savoring the warmth. Not knowing where she was or why and somehow knowing she needed and more importantly wanted to be. It was peaceful in her forest, it didn't matter that she was a mutant, or that she was a freshman or no good at gym class. It didn't even matter that she was good with math and science and lots of other things. What mattered was she loved it here, she'd even loved the fact that she had a mystery on her hands. Sure she shared this place with all the creatures that inhabited it, but she'd found it felt like it belonged to someone besides her. Once she'd even seen a shadowy figure before it darted off when she'd stepped on a twig trying to catch the person, and she'd always felt like she was being watched. Not in a negative way, more like being observed.
'Whatever, as long as I feel great when I wake up who cares whose
watching – maybe it's Scott or like that hunky friend of his from the
basketball team.' Kitty giggled at her last thought, maybe it was a
premonition of good things to come. 'Oh, that would be like so totally
cool…'
With that in mind Kitty went to scour her closet for the perfect outfit to wear to school – just in case…
Jean hummed a bar "Uninvited" with an added edge of anger to it as she stirred the pan of yellow goo before her. It wasn't that she minded having breakfast duty, it was that her designated partner hadn't bothered to come down yet and help. She was just about to mentally yell at Kurt to get his tail in gear when a rather sluggish Nightcrawler made his way into the kitchen, watch already turned on for the day.
"Morning Kurt, have a nice rest?" Jean asked one hand on her hip and the other pointing the spatula at him. "I certainly hope so because…"
Kurt winced a little looking slightly embarrassed. "Sorry Jean I forgot I vas supposed to help until just a few minutes ago."
"Well, just get a move on getting the table set, unless you want to explain to Logan why breakfast isn't ready. And you know how he is when he wakes up this early."
Kurt needed no further prompting than that and quickly grabbed the stack of dishes, napkins and various utensils bringing them into the dining room. The table blurred a little as he placed a plate, utensils and napkin at each chair and he sat down at the head of the table to rest and it only took a few seconds before he was fast asleep.
I KNOW it's still short…but it's longer than the last one – promise. I just have limited access to a 'puter so typing and posting take awhile….more soon. ^_~ Pleasant dreams to all…!