Chapter 6
Weeks past and I waited for a sign from my da or Professor Lupin, anyone. Not until the end of July.
Then one night as I was walking home from Bridget I got one. A big one.
A large dog was sitting on my porch. When I say large I don't mean kinda big, I mean HUGE.
"Hey boy, you lost?" I reached down to pet him.
He stood up. He was easily as big as my waist. With long shaggy black hair. And his eyes didn't look like a dogs. They were too intelligent.
He looked thin and tired. I opened the door and he slipped inside.
"Hey, did I say you could come in?" He only sat down and panted.
"Come on , out." I pointed to the door but he just sat there. "Fine, but if Mum gets mad, don't blame me." He barked and jumped on mum's new couch.
"Cassi? What is that?" Jamie asked. Remy grinned and leaned down to pet him.
"Cassi? That you?" mum called.
"Mum! You're home." She came into the room and gawked at the huge dog sitting on her couch.
"Cassi! Get that thing off now!" She tried to push him off but he just lay there.
"That is my new couch. Get off right now." The dog blinked a couple times, then jumped off just like that.
"Mari, what on earth-" Aunt Addi came into the room. She stopped short and stared at the monster of a dog. Her eyes widened and she grabbed the dog by the scuff of the neck. I figured that if anyone else tried that they would get their hand bitten off, but the dog seemed to cower under her scowl.
"SIRIUS POLARIS BLACK! You change back right this instant!" Aunt Addi yelled. The dog glanced at me, the boys, and then at Mum then back to Addi and barked.
My da? Was she talking to my da? My da was not a big black dog. At least I hope not.
"I don't care! Change back now!" Addi was now yelling at the dog as if it were talking back to her.
"They won't run. I promise." She looked up at us. "Mari, Cassi, boys, you can't run please. I promised him." Mum nodded and I did too.
Then the dog rolled its eyes, there was a small flash of light. And suddenly the dog was gone.
A man was standing there. He was tall and thin. Very thin. He looked like he hadn't had a decent meal in years. His thick black hair was long and shaggy. It a way it reminded me of the dog he had been seconds before. He had dark tan skin that looked as if it had been years since he saw sunlight and then was exposed to a lot of it.
I shivered when I looked into his eyes. They were dead. Empty. Like there was nothing behind his eyes. Like he had been through so much his mind, his soul had shut down. He scanned the room, Aunt Addi, Mum, the boys and then his eyes fell on me.
The dead hallow look vanished, to be replaced by his eyes growing bright and suddenly there was his heart in his eyes.
"Cassi." His voice was hoarse and ill used, but I understood everything. I understood everything he couldn't say. Everything that was shining in his eyes.
"DA!" I ran into his arms. He held me tight. God, I had waited so long for this moment, for my da. The boys then attacked him and he pulled them into the huge embrace. I pulled away and I saw his face was wet. So was mine.
"Da?"
"Cass. God, I missed you."
He touched my locket. "You got it."
"We got that paper." Jamie and Remy screamed in unison. He smiled.
"Yes, Da, I talked to Professor Lupin. He told me everything. I know you're innocent and I know about Pettigrew." At the mention of that name his face grew dark. I wouldn't be Pettigrew in that second for all the gold in the world.
"Murdering traitor." He growled.
"Kids get away from him." Mum was speaking a quiet but scared voice. Da stood up and looked at her. He put his hand on my shoulders and pulled both boys closer as if he was afraid we would run if he let go. Jamie had grabbed onto his bone thin wrist and I don't think he would ever let go.
"What am I going to do, Mari? Kill them? Betray them to Voldemort?"
"You didn't see any wrong in doing it to your friends so why should you to your children?" Mum's words were harsh and I could see them cut deep into him but he remained motionless.
"No one else believes me so why should you?" His voice was cold.
"Believe you ? Why would they believe you? You killed Lily and James! Do you deny it?" Mum shouted.
Da said nothing. I glanced up at him. His eyes were back to the empty hollow look. He tried to say something but the words seemed to die in his throat.
"Da, you didn't , did you?" Jamie asked in his little boy voice. Remy looked up at him with his puppy dog eyes.
" I, I didn't mean to. But it was my fault. Not in the way you're thinking. See I wasn't the Potters secret keeper, kids."
"You weren't?"
"No, I convinced them to change to Peter in the last minute."
"And Peter was the spy." Everything made sense now.
"I told them it would be better if we didn't tell anyone about the switch. That there was less danger for them and Peter if everyone still thought I was the one. It worked too well." He crossed over to the couch and sat down, his head in his hands. His eyes were closed tight and I had the feeling that if he opened them, tears would come spilling out.
" It's my fault. If I hadn't," His voice broke and he began to sob. I ran over and sat beside him. My heart went out to my father.
Mum looked torn between comforting him and staying away from him. Her loving side won out.
She came over and sat beside him, He leaned over and sobbed into her shoulder. She rocked him slowly until his sobs subsided and he fell asleep.
"Cassi, boys, Addi why don't you go on to bed?" Mum said.
"But Mum."
"Come on Cassi." Addi steered us toward our rooms. I looked over my shoulder. Mum was still holding Da while he slept.
"He's had a hard time. Let him sleep." Addi said softly.
Later that night I got up to get a glass of water. When I went into the living room I saw Mum. She had fallen asleep and Da was curled up next to her. Her arm was around him protectively and they looked so peaceful I wouldn't have woken them up if Voldemort himself came through the door.
The next morning I got up early. But even still, the boys beat me to it.
"Hey Cassi" Mum was extremely cheerful this morning. Remy and Jamie sat around the table, arguing over who could cast the best invisibility spell.
"Where Da?" I prayed it wasn't all a dream.
"Oh he's in my room. He carried me in there last night after I fell asleep on the couch. He's still sleeping."
"Morning people. Where is my runaway brother?" Addi came into the kitchen. She was happy too. I saw for once what Professor McGonagall had meant when she said my da brought happiness to a place just by being there.
" Sleeping in." Mum told her. She rolled her eyes.
Da didn't wake up that day, or the next. He slept for three whole days.
On the morning of his fourth day he came in when we were having breakfast.
"Hey look who's up? Morning sleepyhead." I never noticed how small Mum was before. She had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him. Either that or Da was really tall.
"Da you slept for three days!" I told him .
"I guess I was more tired than I thought."
"Da?"
He turned back to me.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too, Cass."
"Us too!" the twins shouted. Da pulled them into a hug.
"I missed you too, Sirius." Addi hugged him tightly.
"Group hug!" Jamie shouted.
"I am so sorry I didn't believe." Mum told him.
"No one did. Why should you?" he wasn't smiling anymore.
"Siri, don't think that."
"Addi, you can not read my mind." He said.
"Wanta bet?" She grinned.
"Go for it." He smiled. She closed her eyes. In a second she opened them again. Her mouth dropped open.
"Eww! Siri, I did not want to know that."
"What? What?" we shouted.
"Nothing." Both siblings said at the same time.
"You can tell me at least." Mum said. Da leaned over and whispered in her ear. She gasped and smacked him in the stomach.
Instead of taking it, he gasped in pain and clutched his stomach. Mum jumped instantly into mother mode.
"Are you okay? Let me see,"
"It's okay. just a little bruise."
"Bruise?" I asked.
"yeah. I sorta fell down a mountain last week." Mum and Addi laughed.
"Are you hungry. Sirius? I can make some breakfast." His eyes widened when she mentioned food.
"Food? Like chicken? Maybe? Roasted just like you used to make it?"
She laughed " Chicken is not usually considered a breakfast food but, sure."
We sat down at the table and we told him everything that had happened in our lives.
He was fuming when I told him about Snape.
"Lousy git. He was always trying to get us in trouble
in school. But we got him good lots a times."
"What did you do?"
"Well one time we dyed his hair bright red, and oh another time, Lily charmed him to make him repeat everything someone said. And there was the time we made him burp whenever anyone said his name. The Professors loved that."
"Why are you so tan?" Addi asked. "In your poster's you were paler than death."
"You remember that island Dad took us to one time when we were about ten?"
"The one where you unknowingly bewitched all the birds to follow me around?"
"That's the one. Well I can tell you this, those birds are still there." She laughed.
"Hey after this, kids you want to come meet Buckbeat?"
"Who?"
"He's a hippogriff. He's kinda on the run with me and I hid him in an old cave about a mile from here. "
"Sure I'd love to."
When Mum put the food in front of him, I bearly blinked and it was gone. Mum refilled his plate and he tore into it, looking a lot like the dog he was.
"Sirius, when was the last time you had a real meal?" Mum asked as she set his third helping in front of him.
"About thirteen years." He said in between bites.
"How about this, When was the last time you ate?"
He paused. "About two days before I came here, I think. I'm not sure ." he was ready for his next helping.
Mum stared at him in horror." What have you been eating?'
He shrugged. "Rats, garbage, whatever I can find."
Addi looked positively mad. She pushed back the chair and paced back and forth." I am going to kill Peter. All you have had to put up with when it should have been him rotting in prison. You shouldn't have to hide from the people you once called friends. You shouldn't have to dig through garbage to find decent food. You should be at home with your wife and your daughter and twin son who are worse than you, James, and Remus put together and your many other children." At this Da grinned, though it looked forced and Mum blushed.
"It's not fair!"
Da exploded. "Life isn't fair Addi. Do you think it was fair for James and Lily to die? Do you think it was fair for Voldemort" She flinched at the name " To kill our mother? Do you think it was fair for him to kill our father, and in front of you? Do you think it's fair that everyone, Mum, dad, Erin, they all died for me! They all died because of what I am! Do you think that's fair?" He stormed out of the room.
"What does he mean, because of what I am?" I asked. Mum shrugged. Addi shook her head. I went out into the living room.
"Da?" He was looking out the window. He didn't turn when I spoke. I came up behind him and slipped under his arm. The boys each took a side of his arms. He glanced down at me and I followed his gaze. He was watching a small family, a mum, da and two little girls. They were washing their car. Soon a water fight took place and they ran around squirting each other laughing.
"That was us, Cass. " I looked up at him. His eyes were over bright again. "A long time ago that could have been us." I didn't say anything. I just squeezed his hand and hugged him tighter.
The moment was ruined by the doorbell. Da whirled around, a look of terror in his eyes.
Mum came running. "Sirius, Change." She hissed. He didn't need to be told twice. There was a small POP and the dog was back.
Mum checked to make sure everything was in place then opened the door.
Professor Lupin stood on the doorstep.
"Remus!" Mum gasped. She glanced around and yanked him inside.
"Hello Mari, Cassi boys. How's that homework coming?" he asked me.
"All done but the potions essay. Snape is impossible."
"We had homework?" Jamie asked, his eyes wide with mock shock.
I heard a Pop behind me and I knew that Da had changed back.
"Padfoot, How are you?" Professor Lupin asked Da worriedly.
"I'm okay Moony."
"Wait, Moony? Padfoot? As in Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs? The original magical mischief makers?"
"You're Moony and Padfoot?" Jamie shouted, shocked that his father was one of his heroes.
"the very same." Professor Lupin sighed.
"You found the map?" Da looked positively overjoyed.
"No, The Weasly twins did. They showed me. They honor you guys as gods." Da and Professor Lupin laughed as Jamie and Remy got to their knees and began to shout praises. Mum shook her head as she pulled them to their feet.
"Remus?" Addi came in.
"Addi, "
"Remus Lupin where on earth have you been?"
"Um, Albania, Wales, Scotland, France, The states, uhhhh I think that's about it."
"You, you ,you, "
"You never were very good at insulting people, huh Ad." Da said.
"Siri, I , I, " She looked from Mum's knowing look, to my grin and Da's expectant face. " Oh I give up!" She took Professor Lupin by the hand and dragged him into the kitchen.
He stayed for a few days the one morning he was gone. He left a note.
Dear, Addi, Cassi Remy, Jamie, and Padfoot.
I am sorry I have to leave so suddenly, but tonight is the full moon. And I must be moving on. Padfoot you should soon. They will be looking ever since you let yourself be seen a few miles from here.
I love you all very much and I will hopefully see you soon. Say hi to Harry for me Padfoot.
Moony
Addi was sad and moped around for a few days but she got over it when a letter from Professor Lupin came by owl.
In it was a warning to Da that the ministry was close behind him.
Da took us up to see Buckbeak. He bowed to us. There was something about the way he treated Da. It was like a deep deep respect. He bowed whenever Da came by. He always let Da ride him, no matter what. And Da loved him. He took care of him and fed him.
We were all eating lunch one day about a week before school started, when a beautiful snowy owl came through the window.
"Why, hello Hedwig" Da said. He offered her a slice of bacon which she took gratefully.
"That's Harry's owl." Da told me.
She had finished the bacon and nipped his sleeve to get his attention. She stuck her leg out, which had a letter tied to it.
Da untied it and opened it. He frowned and began to search around.
"Cass, do you have a pen and some parchment?"
"Yeah, I'll go get it." I returned with the needed items. Da scribbled a hasty note and tied it to Hedwig's leg. She took off.
For the rest of the day Da seemed preoccupied with something. He didn't say much and kept to himself. He spent most of the time writing letters.
That night I awoke to see Da sitting next to my bed.
"Hey."
"hey sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up.". He sat back.
"It's okay." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. It was shorter now and easier to manage. He looked much better now that he got that mess cut off. More like the man he was.
"Look Cass." That was his own personal nickname for me. Everyone else called me Cassi or my full name. Da was the only one who called me Cass. Mum and Addi had them too. Addi was Add to Da and Mum was Mar. Addi called him Siri. Remy was Rem and Jamie was, well, Jamie. I don't think Da could think of a nickname for him.
"Cass, I'm leaving."
"Why?" I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stay with us and we would be a family.
"The ministers. They'll be here soon. They can't find me here. If they do you and Mum will be in trouble. I can't do that. To you or Harry. And Harry needs me right now. " I didn't want him to go, but I knew I wasn't the only one who needed him. At least I had Mum and my brother. Harry had no one.
"Do you really have to go?"
"Yes. I'm sorry. But I'll be nearby Hogwarts."
"I'm gonna miss you Da." I hugged him.
"I'll miss you too. But just send me an owl if old slimy Snape bothers you too much."
"I will ." I promised giggling.
"Now, get some sleep." He kissed the top of my head. Then he pulled the covers up. I smiled at him then closed my eyes.
I heard him sigh, then get up and leave.
Then I heard Mum's voice in the hall.
"So you're leaving now?"
"Yes, don't try to stop me."
"Stop you? Since when have I tried to do that??"
"Look Mar. I have to go. Harry needs me."
"Harry? What about us? What about Cassi and me? And the boys? And Addi? What about your family?"
"It doesn't mean I don't love you any less. It just means I have to be there for Harry too. I'm all he has."
"So bring him here."
"You know I can't Mar. Look. I'm sorry but that's the way it has to be."
"Why?"
"I don't know. It's not like I chose this."
"But I did."
"So you're sorry you married me?"
"I don't know. Magic has never brought me anything good."
"Nothing good? What about me? What about Cassi? What about Jamie and Remy? Who by the way, I don't remember hearing about!" He was yelling now.
"Don't you yell at me, Sirius Black!"
"Why shouldn't I? You don't even care!"
"How dare you say that! How do you know? What do you think I've been doing for the past twelve years? I haven't been on a single date since I met you."
"Yeah well what do you think I've been doing for the past twelve years? Sitting in some cell, slowly going insane for a crime I didn't commit that's what! How can you possibly understand that?"
"How can I if you won't tell me?"
"Maybe I don't want to!"
"well, then how am I supposed to know how you feel? I don't even know you anymore, Sirius!"
"I have to go." Da said softly.
I heard his footsteps on the stairs and the door opening.
I ran to the window just in time to see a large black dog run down the street and turn the corner, never once looking back.
I heard Mum move and I leaped back into bed pretending to be asleep. She opened the door and watched me. I never moved. Then she shut the door.
I could hear Mum crying. Then the door to her room shut.
I got up and went into Addi's room.
She was at the window watching Da leave. She looked up when I came in. I was soon followed by the twins.
"Come here guys." we ran into her arms.
"They used to fight all the time."
"Why?"
"Well," She said," Your mum and dad are two every strong people with two very bad tempers. They love each other, never doubt that. They just can't agree on anything. Your mum wanted him to stay out of the danger his job presented. You dad couldn't. If there's one noble thing about Sirius, it's that he will die for his friends. He will do anything for them. The whole animagi thing? That was for Remus. They did that in their fifth year. That's why it hurts him so much about James and Lily. He thinks it's his fault. Of course it's not, but you try and tell him that. He feels he has to make up for all he's done. That's why he wants to be near Harry. He thinks if anything happens to Harry he will have failed James completely."
I nodded.