Bitter
Disclaimer: Hey Arnold! Is a wonderful show that Nick doesn't promote enough. What does that have to do with legalities? Well maybe if the lawyers like me, they won't sue….what are the odds of that….nevermind…
I went on for months admiring him, just like I used to, from afar. He paid a lot more attention to me than usual, yet he still wasn't that concerned. I would sit backstage at performances of the show and place myself on an old set of steps, right in the middle of this blue light that would filter over the sit right to that spot. I sat there looking like some sort of blueberry of destiny. I was just hoping that maybe he might get the idea. He didn't.
I found out later he had a girlfriend. She was a skinny Asian girl with long black hair. She was very overprotective, I nick-named her the "Chihuahua" because she looked like an overprotective growling dog. She came to every show and followed him everywhere he went. I was incredibly jealous. Of course, I felt ashamed for even wanting to date, it just seemed out of character…I didn't even know what I wanted. I wanted anything that he wanted. My whole perspective changed, if it made him happy, I would be happy.
I stayed up at night telling Phoebe all the events of the day, what he had said to me, etc. She was at another school, but we kept in close contact through phone. She was now going steady with Gerald, which I was very for her. Although, listening about all of the lovers quarrels can get tedious, yet I still love her very much.
I remember one day in class, the our "theater in the round" theater was being torn down to make way for a new one. Arnold just sat there, so stoic, so sensitive to what was going on around him. He hadn't used the theater that much, but he felt all of the memories of that old building being torn away. I was sensitive to this, and I did something I had never done before, give him a gift.
I went along the building, collecting interesting pieces, I found a cardboard box and some black silk, a fork, a piece of the wall, interesting fabric, etc. I stapled the material around the box and made a collage of pieces from the theater as a memoir. I nervously gave it too him the next day.
He slowly pulled apart the pieces of red ribbon I had used to tie it together, he looked at me with those blue-green eyes. He truly looked touched, he gave me a long, caring hug. He was lucky he held onto me, because if he didn't I would be a puddle on the floor.
I told Phoebe about this later that night.
"Maybe he likes you!" Phoebe said excitedly. I felt angry and yet hopeful.
"What are the odds of that? He has a girlfriend."
"Well, he isn't cheating on her, but he could definitely harbor romantic feelings for you! Believe me, there is plenty of evidence."
I changed the subject, yet this idea did intrigue me. Could he? I awkwardly consulted a few trusting friends who were better versed in this area than I was.
I stared to think about it more realistically.
Maybe.
The next day I found his usual self to be dressed pretty sloppily. I asked him about this, he told me about his parents having to take an emergency flight to Morocco. The boarding houses' occupants had gone on vacation, Arnold had lost his key so there was no way to get in. So he was now (With the permission of his parents) living with his girlfriend. He wasn't that disappointed though, since their relationship had "been going so well."
:::::::::::Thud::::::::
Did you hear that? That was my heart dropping to the bottom of my chest.