Bitter
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Bitter – Part 4
I guess it was inevitable. I had fallen so head-over heels pining for him had turned into something no longer just a part of daily life. It became painful. I would sit in my room listening to sad music while I wrote poetry. I wasn't really sure why, I guess it just comes with the emotions. My motivations weren't really for a relationship, more for just a close friendship that would grow. Of course, I did hope that he returned my feelings. Yet, I had been hurt by so many of the men in my life a relationship scared me. I guess deep down I really did want one though…jeeze. I don't even know what I want anymore.
Well, back on topic. I was currently in my latest non-speaking role in our schools production of Hamlet. He came every night; saw every show, conversed with every actor. He was a very handsome man now and such a kind person. I was naive to think that I would be the only girl to key into that forever. He and his girlfriend were no longer together, so all the girls pounced on him like alley cats desperately on the last apple core.
I grew depressed. At every show I was ecstatic to see him, depressed at all the female attention that would distract him. I tried to compete, at least a little bit. Still, I wasn't that kind of girl. Everyone could tell. I sat preparing my stage makeup while girls would whisper about him, and about me. They all knew.
One night I was at a cast party at Sheena's house. I was wearing my latest "attempt" it was my best dress. I fixed myself up, yet still. I couldn't compete. All the attention had caused me to go into her bedroom, just to prevent myself from crying. Cry? Yes, Helga G. Pataki cries, just like anyone else bucko. Although, I do try to hide it to be strong. There is going to be a lot more crying too, just wait.
He opened the door slowly. I still remember it like it was five minutes ago.
"We have to talk." He looked at me with a very sympathetic look. That look pierced me. He knew. Who told!?!? I was in the mood for blood…then I remembered what was going on. He sat me down on the bed and told me all the reasons why he couldn't date me.
"Was it that obvious?" I asked solemnly. He gave a small nod. I started to become deeply saddened…then it it occurred to me.
"Wait a minute…were you ever interested?" The sympathetic look that I grew to hate crawled upon his face.
"No, I'm sorry. Not really." He said softly. We talked for a bit longer and he told me about how hard it was for him too, since he knew what it was like to like someone and not get it the feelings returned. No kidding football head, you never do fall for the right one. He gave me a sympathetic hug and went back to the party.