Pete: How many sides has a circle?
Josh: Two. The outside and the inside.
Laura: What is the worst weather for rats and mice?
Josh: When it's raining cats and dogs.
Berto: Why is the figure nine like a peacock?
Max: Because without a tail it is nothing.
Josh: (At skating rink.) Why does a waxed floor remind you of music?
Pete: (Trying --and failing-- to stand on his skates.) Because if you don't C sharp, you will B flat.
Laura: Why is a dirty child like flannel?
Max: Because it shrinks from washing.
Jeff: Why are laws like the ocean?
Rachel: Because the most trouble is caused by the breakers.
Jo: What has six feet and can sing?
Josh: A trio.
Berto: What did the city dude say when he saw some milk bottles in the grass?
Pete: "Hey! I found a cow's nest!"
Max: If my father is the brother of your sister, am I your cousin, brother, nephew, son, uncle, or son-in-law?
Rachel: Nephew.
Jo: How do you catch a squirrel?
Pete: You climb a tree and act like a nut!
Jo: What's the difference between a hill and a pill?
Pete: One's hard to get up, the other's hard to get down!
Cat: If a boy falls, what does he fall against?
Rachel: His will.
Berto: (Back in the garden.) Why should potatos grow better than other vegetables?
Max: Because they have eyes to see where they're going.
Dread: What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton?
Dragonelle: One longs to eat, the other eats too long.
Rachel: If your uncle's sister is not your aunt, what relationi is she to you?
Cat: Your mother.
Psycho: If eight sparrows are on a roof and you shoot one, how many will remain?
Dragonelle: One. The one you shot.
Pete: What did the nearsighted porcupine say when it backed into a cactus?
Josh: "Is that you, mother?"
Berto: Why is the grass dangerous?
Max: It's full of blades.
Jeff: In a house on Eighth Street, there is a room with eight corners and a cat in each corner. There are seven cats before each cat, and a cat on every cat's tail. How many cats are there in the room with the eight corners in the house on Eighth Street?
Josh: Eight cats.
Jo: What is pigskin used for most?
Pete: To hold pigs together.
Laura: When are cooks cruel?
Josh: When they beat eggs and whip cream.
Pete: When does a teacher wear dark glasses?
Josh: When she has bright pupils.
Pete: How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Jo: Eleven: t-h-e-a-l-p-h-a-b-e-t.
Dragonelle: What do you find in air-conditioned banks?
Electrix: Cold cash.
Berto: What is the similarity between a hippopotamus and an elephant?
Max:: Neither one can roller-skate.
Teacher: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Pete: At the bottom.
Berto: (On the farm.) What pen should never be used for writing?
Max: A pig pen.
More to come! ^_^