Title: The Scully Files: I Need You Part 2
Author: Cassandra Mulder
Disclaimer: I don't own anything X-Files!
Spoilers: Season 7 mostly, particularly "all things" and "Requiem".
Classifications: MSR, Scully angst, torture
Author's Notes: This is the second installment in my post-"Requiem"
Scully Files series. If it gets a little sappy on ya, please bear in mind, this
*is* a 'shipper story! And Scully's dealing with a lot of stuff right now.
There should be at least one more installment in this series, but in this
one, she's still just dealing, and there's some journal stuff.
Rating: PG
Archive: Anywhere reputable, as long as you e-mail me about it first,
and leave my name attached.
Feedback: You know the drill! At dana_mulder31@hotmail.com
POV: Scully of course
***********************************************************************
You're the hope that moves me
To courage again, oh yeah yeah
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds rage
And it's so amazing
'Cause that's just how you are
And I can't turn back now
Cause you've brought me too far
I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like
Mercy from Heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you.
"I Need You"- LeAnn Rimes
Scully walked into the J. Edgar Hoover building only a week after being
released from the hospital.
It wasn't work she feared. Right now she just wanted to drown herself in work.
What she feared was the feeling she would get when she got off the elevator in
the basement, and opened the door to find that Mulder wasn't there with his feet
propped up on the desk.
But she couldn't help it. She couldn't stay home anymore, it was driving her crazy.
Sleep was becoming less peaceful, and she didn't have anything else to do. If she
didn't get back to routine now, she was afraid she'd lose her mind.
She walked into the office, and laid her briefcase on the desk. She took a deep
breath, and sat down in Mulder's usual chair.
I should've stayed home, she thought, looking around.
There were all the familiar things around her. The poster with the hovering UFO
proclaiming "I Want To Believe". The pictures of supposed aliens and monsters,
along with newspaper clippings on the bulletin board. And a picture of her and Mulder
hung among the various articles.
She stood up, plucked the picture of them off the board, and sat back down.
She sighed. It was the two of them talking, dressed in their FBI jackets. She didn't
know who had taken it, or where Mulder had gotten it, but it was all she had now.
Scully put the picture aside, and began shuffling through some papers on the desk.
It was all routine stuff, some of it a little much for her to take on alone.
But she'd just have to work through her caseload a little at a time. She hadn't had
any spells in the past couple of days, but she couldn't be too careful.
There was being strong, and then there was being stupid. She had to be concerned
with her child now, so she'd start out slowly.
Scully glanced back over at the picture on the other side of the desk.
I have to do something about finding Mulder, she thought.
Just as she was about to pick up the phone to book a flight to Oregon, there was
a knock on the office door.
"Come in", she said, somewhat annoyed.
Skinner walked through the door and closed it behind him.
"Good morning, Agent Scully."
"Good morning, Sir", she replied.
"You're feeling better, I hope."
"Yes, Sir. At the moment, I'm fine."
"Glad to hear it. I didn't want to spring this on you on your first day back,
Scully, but they're looking for a new partner for you."
Scully looked up, stunned.
"What? But Sir, Mulder hasn't even been gone for two weeks yet, they can't do that."
"Scully, they can do whatever they want to, you know that better than anybody.
You can lodge a complaint, but I doubt it would make a difference."
"Who are they going to assign to me?"
"I don't know any details yet, but I understand there are a few candidates. None
of which have been dislosed to me."
Scully took a deep breath, and ran her hands over her face.
"Sir, they can't do it, I don't care what anybody says. I don't want a new partner.
At least not... not right now. I can take care of things on my own, at least for awhile."
She had a slight pleading look in her eyes, and he responded to it.
"I'll see what I can do, Agent Scully. But these people are my superiors, I can't
push things too far."
Scully looked slightly relieved.
"Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate it."
"Well, I've got work to do. If you feel like you need to go home any time today, feel
free."
"I'll consider it, Sir. But I probably need to make things look as normal as possible
around here."
Skinner nodded and walked out the door.
Scully shook her head. She knew he felt guilty about Mulder's disappearance.
She knew he was going to treat her differently now because of that guilt.
But the last thing she needed right now was to be coddled. She wouldn't stand
for it. As easy as it would be to stay home and cry all day, she just couldn't do it.
It would kill her, and she had important things to do.
********************************************************************
At 6 p.m., Scully entered her apartment, exhausted as usual. She wasn't having
morning sickness at all, but the fatigue was about to get the best of her.
She went into the bedroom, changed into some pajama pants and a T-shirt, went
back to the living room, and plopped down on the couch.
She flipped the TV on, just for company, and reached for the journal lying on the
coffee table.
Flipping to the second page, she marveled at how little she'd written. But then
again, her emotions were so strong right now, she hardly knew how to put them
into words.
She shuffled things around until she found a pen, thought for a second, and
began writing.
Another exhausting day. No morning sickness yet, hopefully it will never develop.
The fatigue is becoming unbearable though. I would've killed for a nap today.
Who am I kidding?, she thought. Being tired is the least of my problems. She
sighed and started writing again.
Mulder, I miss you more than I could put into words to anyone, especially you.
To put it simply, I need you. I've always needed you, but I'd never really admit it
to you when you were here. I don't know how I'm going to get through this alone.
I don't know where you are, or what you're doing. I'm worried about your safety,
and if you'll come back to me.
Tears were running down her face now. She wiped at her eyes, frustrated.
It felt like she'd never stop crying.
You need to be here to see our baby. I'm hoping it's a boy, and he looks just
like you. You have to come back. You have to help me find out how this miracle
happened.
And... And I love you. You're going to know that as soon as you get back. I was
so stupid to never tell you that all these years. All those times I wanted you to
hold me longer than I would let you, I just always pushed you so far away. Even
after that night, I still didn't say it. I regret that more than you could ever know. I
saw it so clearly in your eyes, what you felt for me, and still I was a coward.
She sighed.
They're going to assign me a new partner, Mulder. It hasn't been two weeks yet,
and they're already trying to replace you. They've already given up on you. But I
haven't, Mulder. I know you'll do everything you can to get back. I feel it. I feel you
all around me. I want you here so much, maybe I've become delusional. But I feel
like you're still with me. I guess you always will be, in my heart. No matter what
happens. You and this baby mean more to me than anything, and I need both of
you here.
It's so ironic that I finally get the one thing I've been longing for, and I lose you.
Why is life never perfect? Why can't everything ever just fall into the right place?
Is God sometimes responsible for the bad things, or does the Devil *always* do it?
I know you're not really into those things, but I wouldn't have made it through a lot
of things without my faith. But sometimes I wonder. I believe I've been touched by
miracles before, but I need another one now.
I'm so tired, I need to go to bed now.
Scully felt slightly relieved to have put all that on paper. She laid the journal back
down on the coffee table, flipped off the television, and even though it was still
early, prepared to go to bed.
As she crawled into bed and curled up under the covers, she knew that Mulder
was going to read everything she wrote when he got back. She'd wasted enough
time already. If she was blessed enough to get him back, she wasn't going to take
him for granted anymore.
********************************************************************
Scully entered the office the next morning to find Skinner waiting for her.
"Sir, is something wrong?", she asked, alarmed.
"Not necessarily, Agent Scully. But you might see it that way."
"What are you talking about?"
"Scully, they've chosen a new partner for you."
Scully's jaw dropped.
"God! They certainly don't waste any time, do they?"
"Apparently not. I couldn't stop it, Scully. I did everything within my power.
Your new partner's a woman, but I'd still be very careful. Her name is Leigh
Ransom. I don't know much about her, except for the basics. I wouldn't
discount how she got here, so I again I have to warn you to deal with her
in a cautious fashion."
Scully dropped her briefcase on the floor and sat down.
"Great", she said frustrated. "Just great. *This* is why I don't need a new
partner, sir. I have enough to worry about as it is. I may already be in some
kind of danger I'm not yet aware of. I don't need this at all! If anybody else
finds out my secret, assuming it's still under wraps, all hell could break loose!
Don't you understand that? That's why, as far as I know, you and my mother
are the only people who know."
"Agent Scully, calm down. You're starting to sound like Mulder."
"Thank you, sir", she replied, somewhat smug. "He had more sense than
the both of us put together."
Skinner gave her a warning look, but didn't say anything about that remark.
He did clear his throat though, and said, "Agent Ransom will be here to meet you
at 1 p.m."
"Well, thank you for the information, sir, but I won't be here", she said, picking
up her briefcase, and walking out the door.
*************************************************************************
Scully went straight home, and straight to the telephone.
"Hello?", she said. "Yes, I'd like one round trip ticket to Portland, Oregon please.
I'll pay for it as soon as I get there." There was a pause. "Special Agent Dana Scully,
FBI. Thank you, goodbye."
She hung up the phone, and went to the bedroom. Grabbing a small suitcase, she
quickly gathered some clothes, and other small necessities.
I wonder if I'll have a job when I get back, she thought. But maybe I don't care,
not if this trip gives me the slightest clue how to find Mulder.
*****************************************************************
To Be Continued...
Author: Cassandra Mulder
Disclaimer: I don't own anything X-Files!
Spoilers: Season 7 mostly, particularly "all things" and "Requiem".
Classifications: MSR, Scully angst, torture
Author's Notes: This is the second installment in my post-"Requiem"
Scully Files series. If it gets a little sappy on ya, please bear in mind, this
*is* a 'shipper story! And Scully's dealing with a lot of stuff right now.
There should be at least one more installment in this series, but in this
one, she's still just dealing, and there's some journal stuff.
Rating: PG
Archive: Anywhere reputable, as long as you e-mail me about it first,
and leave my name attached.
Feedback: You know the drill! At dana_mulder31@hotmail.com
POV: Scully of course
***********************************************************************
You're the hope that moves me
To courage again, oh yeah yeah
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds rage
And it's so amazing
'Cause that's just how you are
And I can't turn back now
Cause you've brought me too far
I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like
Mercy from Heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you.
"I Need You"- LeAnn Rimes
Scully walked into the J. Edgar Hoover building only a week after being
released from the hospital.
It wasn't work she feared. Right now she just wanted to drown herself in work.
What she feared was the feeling she would get when she got off the elevator in
the basement, and opened the door to find that Mulder wasn't there with his feet
propped up on the desk.
But she couldn't help it. She couldn't stay home anymore, it was driving her crazy.
Sleep was becoming less peaceful, and she didn't have anything else to do. If she
didn't get back to routine now, she was afraid she'd lose her mind.
She walked into the office, and laid her briefcase on the desk. She took a deep
breath, and sat down in Mulder's usual chair.
I should've stayed home, she thought, looking around.
There were all the familiar things around her. The poster with the hovering UFO
proclaiming "I Want To Believe". The pictures of supposed aliens and monsters,
along with newspaper clippings on the bulletin board. And a picture of her and Mulder
hung among the various articles.
She stood up, plucked the picture of them off the board, and sat back down.
She sighed. It was the two of them talking, dressed in their FBI jackets. She didn't
know who had taken it, or where Mulder had gotten it, but it was all she had now.
Scully put the picture aside, and began shuffling through some papers on the desk.
It was all routine stuff, some of it a little much for her to take on alone.
But she'd just have to work through her caseload a little at a time. She hadn't had
any spells in the past couple of days, but she couldn't be too careful.
There was being strong, and then there was being stupid. She had to be concerned
with her child now, so she'd start out slowly.
Scully glanced back over at the picture on the other side of the desk.
I have to do something about finding Mulder, she thought.
Just as she was about to pick up the phone to book a flight to Oregon, there was
a knock on the office door.
"Come in", she said, somewhat annoyed.
Skinner walked through the door and closed it behind him.
"Good morning, Agent Scully."
"Good morning, Sir", she replied.
"You're feeling better, I hope."
"Yes, Sir. At the moment, I'm fine."
"Glad to hear it. I didn't want to spring this on you on your first day back,
Scully, but they're looking for a new partner for you."
Scully looked up, stunned.
"What? But Sir, Mulder hasn't even been gone for two weeks yet, they can't do that."
"Scully, they can do whatever they want to, you know that better than anybody.
You can lodge a complaint, but I doubt it would make a difference."
"Who are they going to assign to me?"
"I don't know any details yet, but I understand there are a few candidates. None
of which have been dislosed to me."
Scully took a deep breath, and ran her hands over her face.
"Sir, they can't do it, I don't care what anybody says. I don't want a new partner.
At least not... not right now. I can take care of things on my own, at least for awhile."
She had a slight pleading look in her eyes, and he responded to it.
"I'll see what I can do, Agent Scully. But these people are my superiors, I can't
push things too far."
Scully looked slightly relieved.
"Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate it."
"Well, I've got work to do. If you feel like you need to go home any time today, feel
free."
"I'll consider it, Sir. But I probably need to make things look as normal as possible
around here."
Skinner nodded and walked out the door.
Scully shook her head. She knew he felt guilty about Mulder's disappearance.
She knew he was going to treat her differently now because of that guilt.
But the last thing she needed right now was to be coddled. She wouldn't stand
for it. As easy as it would be to stay home and cry all day, she just couldn't do it.
It would kill her, and she had important things to do.
********************************************************************
At 6 p.m., Scully entered her apartment, exhausted as usual. She wasn't having
morning sickness at all, but the fatigue was about to get the best of her.
She went into the bedroom, changed into some pajama pants and a T-shirt, went
back to the living room, and plopped down on the couch.
She flipped the TV on, just for company, and reached for the journal lying on the
coffee table.
Flipping to the second page, she marveled at how little she'd written. But then
again, her emotions were so strong right now, she hardly knew how to put them
into words.
She shuffled things around until she found a pen, thought for a second, and
began writing.
Another exhausting day. No morning sickness yet, hopefully it will never develop.
The fatigue is becoming unbearable though. I would've killed for a nap today.
Who am I kidding?, she thought. Being tired is the least of my problems. She
sighed and started writing again.
Mulder, I miss you more than I could put into words to anyone, especially you.
To put it simply, I need you. I've always needed you, but I'd never really admit it
to you when you were here. I don't know how I'm going to get through this alone.
I don't know where you are, or what you're doing. I'm worried about your safety,
and if you'll come back to me.
Tears were running down her face now. She wiped at her eyes, frustrated.
It felt like she'd never stop crying.
You need to be here to see our baby. I'm hoping it's a boy, and he looks just
like you. You have to come back. You have to help me find out how this miracle
happened.
And... And I love you. You're going to know that as soon as you get back. I was
so stupid to never tell you that all these years. All those times I wanted you to
hold me longer than I would let you, I just always pushed you so far away. Even
after that night, I still didn't say it. I regret that more than you could ever know. I
saw it so clearly in your eyes, what you felt for me, and still I was a coward.
She sighed.
They're going to assign me a new partner, Mulder. It hasn't been two weeks yet,
and they're already trying to replace you. They've already given up on you. But I
haven't, Mulder. I know you'll do everything you can to get back. I feel it. I feel you
all around me. I want you here so much, maybe I've become delusional. But I feel
like you're still with me. I guess you always will be, in my heart. No matter what
happens. You and this baby mean more to me than anything, and I need both of
you here.
It's so ironic that I finally get the one thing I've been longing for, and I lose you.
Why is life never perfect? Why can't everything ever just fall into the right place?
Is God sometimes responsible for the bad things, or does the Devil *always* do it?
I know you're not really into those things, but I wouldn't have made it through a lot
of things without my faith. But sometimes I wonder. I believe I've been touched by
miracles before, but I need another one now.
I'm so tired, I need to go to bed now.
Scully felt slightly relieved to have put all that on paper. She laid the journal back
down on the coffee table, flipped off the television, and even though it was still
early, prepared to go to bed.
As she crawled into bed and curled up under the covers, she knew that Mulder
was going to read everything she wrote when he got back. She'd wasted enough
time already. If she was blessed enough to get him back, she wasn't going to take
him for granted anymore.
********************************************************************
Scully entered the office the next morning to find Skinner waiting for her.
"Sir, is something wrong?", she asked, alarmed.
"Not necessarily, Agent Scully. But you might see it that way."
"What are you talking about?"
"Scully, they've chosen a new partner for you."
Scully's jaw dropped.
"God! They certainly don't waste any time, do they?"
"Apparently not. I couldn't stop it, Scully. I did everything within my power.
Your new partner's a woman, but I'd still be very careful. Her name is Leigh
Ransom. I don't know much about her, except for the basics. I wouldn't
discount how she got here, so I again I have to warn you to deal with her
in a cautious fashion."
Scully dropped her briefcase on the floor and sat down.
"Great", she said frustrated. "Just great. *This* is why I don't need a new
partner, sir. I have enough to worry about as it is. I may already be in some
kind of danger I'm not yet aware of. I don't need this at all! If anybody else
finds out my secret, assuming it's still under wraps, all hell could break loose!
Don't you understand that? That's why, as far as I know, you and my mother
are the only people who know."
"Agent Scully, calm down. You're starting to sound like Mulder."
"Thank you, sir", she replied, somewhat smug. "He had more sense than
the both of us put together."
Skinner gave her a warning look, but didn't say anything about that remark.
He did clear his throat though, and said, "Agent Ransom will be here to meet you
at 1 p.m."
"Well, thank you for the information, sir, but I won't be here", she said, picking
up her briefcase, and walking out the door.
*************************************************************************
Scully went straight home, and straight to the telephone.
"Hello?", she said. "Yes, I'd like one round trip ticket to Portland, Oregon please.
I'll pay for it as soon as I get there." There was a pause. "Special Agent Dana Scully,
FBI. Thank you, goodbye."
She hung up the phone, and went to the bedroom. Grabbing a small suitcase, she
quickly gathered some clothes, and other small necessities.
I wonder if I'll have a job when I get back, she thought. But maybe I don't care,
not if this trip gives me the slightest clue how to find Mulder.
*****************************************************************
To Be Continued...