First Hello
By Jaye Reid.
Written: 23 – 28.10.1999
Disclaimer: Oh I give up for the time being…. I am all disclaimered out!! Hal. and Southern Star own them not me! Does that surprise you??
Author's notes: WARNING WARNING – Well just a smaller warning required on this one. The usual amount of swearing that you would expect between Rachel and Frank.. Nothing too descriptive in this one (sorry!) but definite sexual overtones on several lines.
Well, this is my sequel to "Last Goodbye". Thank you for the feedback for it.
This sequel is dedicated to Simone and Sarah who suggested I write it after reading "Last Goodbye." I have my ideas already for a follow up to this one, so stay tuned for the next instalment. I feel a series coming on…. g
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She arrived at the docks in Townsville, like the fresh breeze of spring. Bright and bubbly like a excited school girl. Frank hoped that it was because she was keen to see him, but he knew it was probably the fact that she didn't have to be back at work for a week. Hell she looked good.
They found a Deli. and grabbed some lunch before heading out on the boat. It was a clear Queensland afternoon. The sun shining and the sky as brilliant a blue as the ocean below them. The picture was perfect.
Frank came up on to the deck to witness Rachel heaving over the side of the boat.
"What is this Rachel? Not time for fishing, don't need any burly yet," he joked.
"Shut it Frank, please don't joke."
He looked a bit more concerned when he saw her face.
She looked bloody terrible. The breeze had disappeared from her and a dark thunderous storm-cloud had descended.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Oh yeah Frank," she said sarcastically, "I just love the sensation of throwing up."
"Gees I would have thought you would have your sea legs out here after all the years bobbing around on the Harbour? I guess the open ocean can be a bit different to the protected water in the Harbour," he replied.
"Nah, I was getting like this on the Harbour before I left too," she said off handedly.
"What you crook or something?" he asked.
"Yeah, or something, I'm pregnant," she said matter of factly.
He sat there trying to make words come out of his mouth… nothing. She sat back from the edge and just looked at him.
"Shit, this would be a first! Francis Holloway with out a come back line…"
"Um yeah, well. Umm well… are you sure?"
Rachel laughed. "You are just so articulate Frank. One of the true genuine characteristics that is so attractive in you."
"Um, well, hell Rachel! You have a habit of dropping things on me like a bloody brick out of nowhere," he replied.
"Oh, you know me, subtly is just about as much my style as it is yours. Wouldn't want this to go and change the way I am now would I?"
"So how far are you…"
"Oh for God sake Frank… do you think I would be here if it wasn't yours? And if you can't figure it out…..well we only slept together that one night."
"Okay, so it has been nearly what, three and a half months? And by the way, I don't remember getting much sleep!"
Yeah, actually closer to sixteen weeks," she said walking over and sitting down next to him.
"Oh right, yeah, okay," he nodded.
This had really floored him. He hated the way that she knew that she had that effect on him.
"Yeah, have my first ultrasound when I get back." She continued.
"And you are still getting sick all the time?" he asked. He didn't know much, but he thought they stopped getting sick after awhile.
"No, not all the time," she replied. "Hey I will go weeks and nothing. Then all of a sudden - bang! It's just gets bloody annoying now."
"And other than that you've been okay then?" he asked.
"Yeah really good actually, thanks for asking." She could see that he was playing his favourite game.
Major Avoidance.
"And the others back at work, what do they think?" Frank continued.
"Well other than Helen, they don't know. Helen has been hassling me about it actually… so she says that if I don't tell Jeff when I go back she will dob me in."
"You're still working? Out on the job? So what does Helen think?"
"No, hang on a minute. Tell me what Frank thinks? You have been skirting around the issue for the past five minutes."
"Well, you haven't told me what you think either.." he responded.
"I asked first."
"Ah you can't pull rank on me Rachel. I'm out of the force, remember?"
"Well, I'm not asking you as my Police partner. I'm asking you as well…. oh hell, I was going to say friend but that doesn't seem quite appropriate when we are discussing me having your kid," she said laughing to herself.
"Do you want this baby Rachel?" he asked her seriously.
"Ha! Do I look like I have a choice?" she laughed. "Another month or so and the little bugger will be trying to kick my insides out!"
"No," he said thinking carefully and deliberately about what he wanted to say, "Perhaps not now, you don't have a choice. But there was a time when you did have a choice?"
"So," she said standing up, "are you saying that I should have gotten rid of it? Is that what you are saying?" She was hurt, and he could see it.
"No, no, that's not what I am saying at all," he answered trying to stay calm and focused. One wrong word and he could invisage her throwing him overboard. "I'm just asking… look I don't want to argue with you about this."
"Hey, well, I'm sorry that this doesn't fit into your grand plan Frank. But, it didn't really play a part in my scheme of things either you know. I don't know how I am going to fit all this in around work."
"Well, I'll come back. We can get…"
"Hang on! " she snapped, getting even more defensive. "Married? Is that what you were going to say?"
Frank nodded, she was getting to a dangerous point. The warning bells should have been sounding in his head. He knew what to expect if she totally lost it. But he guessed he had to face it.
"Well, who says I would want to? I think that Jonathan is the perfect example of the fact that sometimes kids are just as well off with only one parent."
"Now you hang on Rachel," said Frank as he also stood up to face her. He was starting to lose his cool, but her pigheadedness was really starting to shit him.
"I am not Jonathan. What the hell is this? You contact me, tell me that you want to come and visit for a week. So you come waltzing out here, drop a bloody bombshell like *this* on me. How do you expect me to be?"
"Well look, maybe I thought I should tell you! Stupid me! I thought you might want to know!" she yelled.
"I'm not saying that I wouldn't want to know for Christ sake!" he yelled back. "I would have been more pissed off if you didn't tell me."
"Well, I don't really give a shit what you want or think anymore!" she yelled.
She left him standing there. Choosing to wander along the deck and sit alone toward the front of the boat. She just starred out to sea. She looked so angry, so alone.
Frank stood and watched her for a few minutes. There was a dull ache somewhere inside him that he just couldn't pin point. She was being so damn irrational, so stubborn, so pigheaded, so Rachel...
He hadn't realised just how much he had missed her over these months. He wondered what would have happened if he had been there when she first found out? Would he have tried to convince her not to have the baby? Would she have let him? Just given in to the fact that life would change so much. He would have wanted her to have it. But would she have believed that? Anyway, it wouldn't have happened if he was still there he decided. If he hadn't been leaving would she have ever stayed that night? No, she wouldn't have even come over. Funny how things work out sometimes he thought.
But this wasn't going to sort things out. He needed to sort this out.
Frank walked up behind her, and put his hand on her shoulder. "Rachel?"
He could see that she was crying. He knew how significant that was… She rarely cried. That night before he left… that was such an overwhelming experience for him, to see her cry… Although these tears were far being expressed in the same way.
He sat down behind her, putting his arms over her shoulders and pulling her back to lean against him. She didn't offer any resistance. She wanted to be held.
Rachel brushed the tears away with the back of her hand.
"I didn't come here wanting or expecting anything from you. I just came here to tell you. I believed, rightly or wrongly, that you had the right to know and this wasn't something I felt appropriate to add at the end of a letter," she said.
"So, you don't want me around? You want to do this by yourself?" he questioned, not sure that he wanted to know the answer.
"Ah hell Frank. I don't know… The only thing I do know is that I am doing this."
Frank didn't know what to say for a change. He always had an answer for everything. But she always knew what she was doing. This was all new territory for both of them.
He started kissing her. The back of her head, her neck. He remembered how good that one night had been. She again wasn't offering any resistance at first, but when he reached her ear-lobe and started nibbling, she sat up.
She spoke, still focussing out at the ocean.
"Frank, kissing is what got us in this situation…"
"Ah, I don't think it was the kissing part that did it. Didn't your mother have a little chat to you when you were a girl?" he chuckled gently.
"Ah no," she smiled. "I was a good little Jewish girl. I didn't need to know about anything like that. Picked it all up along the way."
"And look where that got you," he replied.
"Yeah!"
He leaned forward and started on her ear again.
"Frank, is sex your answer to all life's problems or something?" she accused brushing him off.
"No!" he defended himself. "But it isn't like it's gonna get us into anymore trouble than it already has."
"Shit Frank!" she said standing up, "some days I just want to hit you!"
"And others…?"
"Arghhh…" she swung and punched him on the arm before storming back along the deck and going below deck.
She left him sitting there to think. And nurse his sore arm.
They virtually avoided conversation for the rest of the day. Their meal was eaten in silence. Frank knew if was safer for him to back off and let her have her space. Which was not easy on a boat. He resisted the urge, several times, to try and talk to her about things.
She had been happy originally, to share the same bed, but when night came, Frank found that she had moved across as far as she could to the side of the bed. He followed her lead and kept over to one side too. He lay on his side, just watching her. She was facing away from him. He couldn't sleep and he knew that despite the fact that her eyes were firmly shut, she wasn't asleep either.
"Rachel? Rachel? Come on, I know you're not asleep."
She didn't respond. She was going to be difficult.
"Fine," he said moving in close beside her. "you are asleep. It's a shame you won't hear what I have to say then."
She still didn't move, but her breathing gave her away. It was short and sharp, not slow and peaceful. He had watched her sleep ever so briefly that night in his house. He knew what a sleeping Rachel looked like. The picture was burnt into his brain. And this wasn't it.
He lay his head on her pillow and gently stroked her hair. Her body was warm against his.
"Well, you wanted to know this afternoon what I thought? I didn't get a chance to answer. Perhaps I wasn't sure what my answer was then. But I know now.
Hell Rachel, you know how to knock a bloke for six. I guess you have always been able to do that to me. I usually manage to get around it, but nope, this time you got me.
You are a great Mother Rachel. I know that and you should know that too. You love David so much despite who his father is. I guess this is similar. Gee what chance would this poor mite have with me as it's Dad? I mean I know jack-shit about kids. Which end is up and that's about it. But you… you're a great Mum. You could do it blindfolded."
He ran his hand down her arm and across her body. Resting it on her stomach. He was surprised. He was pretty certain he could feel a slight bump, or firmness. God this was really going to happen. He suddenly realised just how important she was to him.
"Rachel, this is mine too," he continued to speak as he gently rubbed her stomach. "I know I will love this baby, just as much as I love you. I want to be there. For the baby and for you. Come on Rachel, let me be there? Let me be part of your lives? Don't shut me out here?"
Rachel rolled over and faced him. "You really want to be there? Do you have any idea what it is going to be like?" she asked.
"No," he replied caressing her face, "but I want to learn. I'm willing to learn. Christ, at the moment I've got no one in the world but me. I want to be selfish. I want you Rachel, and despite what you think I want this baby too."
She looked in his eyes and smiled. "You really do want this don't you?"
He nodded and then gave her a cheeky grin.
"And there is something else I want," he said, pulling her even closer to him.
"Argh…!!" She grabbed the pillow from his side of the bed and pushed it over his face. "Sex is your answer to everything!" she laughed.
He struggled for a second to remove the pillow she was holding.
He laughed back. "Ah, yep, most of the time! He stopped laughing and looked at her seriously. "But I did mean it. I want to be with you Rachel."
She leaned over across him. Her lips pausing for a second above his before kissing him gently and then a second time more urgently. He recognised the urgency in her kiss and kissed her back with the same velocity. He had never in his life wanted a woman as much as he wanted Rachel.
She was almost on top of him. He gently rolled her back over to her pillow.
"Hey Rachel? This can't hurt the…"
"Frank! Don't you know anything?" she laughed.
"Well," he said trying to be serious, but failing dismally, "I've never made love with a pregnant woman before. Not that I have known about anyway."
"Oh, I am so glad to hear that," she remarked, kissing him playfully. "You don't have a chandelier hanging in here, so I think I am pretty safe. Baby will be fine."
"That sounds like some fun. I will have to remember to have one installed for after the baby is born I think!"
"In your dreams Francis." She laughed.
"You know what Rachel? I think I could get very used to you being there first thing in the mornings. The first one I will see, say hello to."
"God don't go getting all sentimental on me," she smiled. "It doesn't suit you. But yeah, I think I will get used to that idea too."
Good. You have no idea how much I want you right now."
She grinned mischievously, "Oh well I think I have a fair idea. Since you are almost squashing me and well, as you aren't in the force at the moment and therefore don't carry a …"
"Okay, so you have a fair idea." He grinned. "Ah well…"
"Frank?"
"What?"
"Shut up talking and start doing!"
Hmm, don't have to be told twice," he laughed
The End.