Chapter 4
"Dude…I'm starving."
"I offered you some mothballs, but did you take them? No-o."
"We should go find Buffy!"
"Yeah. Joey's hot, but Buffy's the hottest hottie ever."
Pacey and Dawson burst forth from the insecurely locked closest and looked around the empty room.
"Sure feels good to come out of the closet…Aw man! Buffy's not home!"
"Stupid!" said Dawson, hitting Pacey on the back of the head, "This is where the extras live. Buffy gets her own trailer, cause she's hot. I'm a filmmaker; I know about this stuff."
The two set off in search of Buffy. They came into the Gryffindor common room, and the first person they met was little Dennis Creevy (who wasn't really, just called little, just like how the news reporters called Elian Gonzales "little Elian").
"Dude, do you know where Buffy's trailer is?"
Little Dennis Creevy's knees shook violently, as he had never seen Dawson's Creek, and after spending over twenty-four hours in a closet eating mothballs, Pacey and Dawson didn't smell exactly like roses.
Pacey and Dawson shrugged and spotted a sullen girl sitting in the corner writing. Dawson approached her. She looked up, and Dawson saw that her face was tear-stained and her blue eyes red and swollen. It was Mary Sue, and Dawson noticed that even though she looked as if she had cried for hours, she was still stunning. Alas! She was hotter than Buffy.
"Pace," he called out, "You go on without me, dude."
Pacey had somehow figured out how to get out, and Dawson turned to the girl sitting next to him, silent tears trickling down her rosy cheeks.
"So…are you like okay?" he asked.
"Of course I'm not okay!" she sobbed. Her vision was fuzzy, so she couldn't tell that the kind soul standing in front of her had his own show on the W.B.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked, plopping down next to her-not worrying about distancing himself from the tear-stained beauty.
"I just had to relive my parent's death…you probably can't understand."
"Yeah-Well, my parents got divorced…but then they got back together and started making babies…So I guess I can't relate."
"I think I'm in love with you!"
"Oh, I love you, too!"
"I love you more!"
"No, I love you more!"
"A passion for you burns deep inside me, like a hamburger grilling on a hot summer day. Only it doesn't have E Coli in it. Ewww… Wait a minute," she sniffed, "Dawson?"
"That's my name, don't wear it out."
"What on earth are you doing here?"
"Some dudes with long pointy things that looked kinda like…Me and Pace are looking for Buffy, but I don't care anymore, now that I've found you!"
"How sweet! That's much sweeter than anything Harry's said to me. He's such a loser!"
****
Meanwhile…
"Buffy?"
"Um, no," said Hermione, "Oh my God! Pacey! What are you doing here?"
"Some dudes made us magically appear. We're looking for Buffy. Have you seen her?"
"Ohmygosh! Harry and Ron must have summoned you! I knew they were stupid, but not THAT stupid! Come on! We've got to get you to Dumbledore!"
Hermione grabbed his hand to lead him away, but she couldn't move. The moment their skin touched, her spine tingled like, um, magical tingly things. Pacey must have felt it, too, because he pulled her close to him and whispered romantically in her ear, "So, um, do you like wanna make out?"
Hermione suddenly found herself in one of those pesky moral dilemmas. Ron was her boyfriend, and she liked him a lot, but, well, he really couldn't compete with tingles. Plus, Ron didn't have his own show on the W.B.
"Oh, all right," she said, but as Pacey leaned in to kiss her, Dumbledore came rushing up.
"My stars, Hermione!" he said, "What are you doing snogging Pacey?"
"I…um…" she muttered, still in disbelief that Dumbledore used the word "snogging."
"Don't you know he's going out with Joey? She'll be heart-broken!"
"But Professor Dumbledore, aren't you at all concerned about there being a muggle running around Hogwarts? I mean, if a muggle can get in, then maybe someone like---"
Pacey interjected, "Your name's Double Door? I bet you got beat up in school!"
"Well, yes, actually, but that's another story entirely…where's Dawson?"
"He met some girl," said Pacey.
"Right," said Dumbledore, "How long have you been out of the closet?"
"About twenty minutes, and I feel great?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "Please, Proffesor, can he stay?"
"Well, I suppose so, but make sure he's house trained."
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything from the book. Warner Bros. owns Paecey and Dawson. Fidel Castro owns little Elian. I own the plot and Mary Sue.
"Dude…I'm starving."
"I offered you some mothballs, but did you take them? No-o."
"We should go find Buffy!"
"Yeah. Joey's hot, but Buffy's the hottest hottie ever."
Pacey and Dawson burst forth from the insecurely locked closest and looked around the empty room.
"Sure feels good to come out of the closet…Aw man! Buffy's not home!"
"Stupid!" said Dawson, hitting Pacey on the back of the head, "This is where the extras live. Buffy gets her own trailer, cause she's hot. I'm a filmmaker; I know about this stuff."
The two set off in search of Buffy. They came into the Gryffindor common room, and the first person they met was little Dennis Creevy (who wasn't really, just called little, just like how the news reporters called Elian Gonzales "little Elian").
"Dude, do you know where Buffy's trailer is?"
Little Dennis Creevy's knees shook violently, as he had never seen Dawson's Creek, and after spending over twenty-four hours in a closet eating mothballs, Pacey and Dawson didn't smell exactly like roses.
Pacey and Dawson shrugged and spotted a sullen girl sitting in the corner writing. Dawson approached her. She looked up, and Dawson saw that her face was tear-stained and her blue eyes red and swollen. It was Mary Sue, and Dawson noticed that even though she looked as if she had cried for hours, she was still stunning. Alas! She was hotter than Buffy.
"Pace," he called out, "You go on without me, dude."
Pacey had somehow figured out how to get out, and Dawson turned to the girl sitting next to him, silent tears trickling down her rosy cheeks.
"So…are you like okay?" he asked.
"Of course I'm not okay!" she sobbed. Her vision was fuzzy, so she couldn't tell that the kind soul standing in front of her had his own show on the W.B.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked, plopping down next to her-not worrying about distancing himself from the tear-stained beauty.
"I just had to relive my parent's death…you probably can't understand."
"Yeah-Well, my parents got divorced…but then they got back together and started making babies…So I guess I can't relate."
"I think I'm in love with you!"
"Oh, I love you, too!"
"I love you more!"
"No, I love you more!"
"A passion for you burns deep inside me, like a hamburger grilling on a hot summer day. Only it doesn't have E Coli in it. Ewww… Wait a minute," she sniffed, "Dawson?"
"That's my name, don't wear it out."
"What on earth are you doing here?"
"Some dudes with long pointy things that looked kinda like…Me and Pace are looking for Buffy, but I don't care anymore, now that I've found you!"
"How sweet! That's much sweeter than anything Harry's said to me. He's such a loser!"
****
Meanwhile…
"Buffy?"
"Um, no," said Hermione, "Oh my God! Pacey! What are you doing here?"
"Some dudes made us magically appear. We're looking for Buffy. Have you seen her?"
"Ohmygosh! Harry and Ron must have summoned you! I knew they were stupid, but not THAT stupid! Come on! We've got to get you to Dumbledore!"
Hermione grabbed his hand to lead him away, but she couldn't move. The moment their skin touched, her spine tingled like, um, magical tingly things. Pacey must have felt it, too, because he pulled her close to him and whispered romantically in her ear, "So, um, do you like wanna make out?"
Hermione suddenly found herself in one of those pesky moral dilemmas. Ron was her boyfriend, and she liked him a lot, but, well, he really couldn't compete with tingles. Plus, Ron didn't have his own show on the W.B.
"Oh, all right," she said, but as Pacey leaned in to kiss her, Dumbledore came rushing up.
"My stars, Hermione!" he said, "What are you doing snogging Pacey?"
"I…um…" she muttered, still in disbelief that Dumbledore used the word "snogging."
"Don't you know he's going out with Joey? She'll be heart-broken!"
"But Professor Dumbledore, aren't you at all concerned about there being a muggle running around Hogwarts? I mean, if a muggle can get in, then maybe someone like---"
Pacey interjected, "Your name's Double Door? I bet you got beat up in school!"
"Well, yes, actually, but that's another story entirely…where's Dawson?"
"He met some girl," said Pacey.
"Right," said Dumbledore, "How long have you been out of the closet?"
"About twenty minutes, and I feel great?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "Please, Proffesor, can he stay?"
"Well, I suppose so, but make sure he's house trained."
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything from the book. Warner Bros. owns Paecey and Dawson. Fidel Castro owns little Elian. I own the plot and Mary Sue.