Imperfect Wings
[Complications of Life series]
Story Number 9
Written: 14/12/1999 – 09/01/2000
Disclaimer: Well I think that I will claim them. Hal. and the whole Southern Star productions have had them long enough. We're not even getting repeat episodes over summer so they seem to be well and truly finished with Frank and Rachel. At least I have given them a life together, not like they did. By the way, you will be able to tell which ones are my creation!
Authors Notes: As you may notice, this one was started long before the previous two were written. A big thank you goes to Sonia for her brilliant creative genius in suggesting the beginning of this one.
It is almost time for me to leave them to fend for themselves and I must say that this is something that I am not looking forward to doing. But I just can't see Frank and Rachel catching many crooks from their motorised wheelchairs, so Story Number 10 will be the last instalment.
~*~*~*~
The window slid silently upwards.
She precariously placed one leg though the opening, ducking her head skilfully so that she didn't collide with the window on her way into the house.
She breathed a sigh of relief as she gently closed the window behind her.
"Gabrielle Ruth Holloway… don't you think the front door would have been easier?" Rachel uncurled herself from her corner of the lounge and flicked on the table lamp beside her.
Gabby's heart jumped about six foot from her chest.
"Shit! Mum… what are… where's Dad?"
"Don't think you are going to talk your way around this one with him. This time it is you and me. S I T!" Rachel instructed.
Gabby rolled her eyes, knowing that this would probably be the last night out on the town for some time.
'You won't *tell* Daddy will you?" she asked as she plonked herself down on the couch.
"What? Shatter the illusion that he has raised a perfect daughter who could do no wrong? Nah, I couldn't do that to him," Rachel said sarcastically. "He thinks you're all sweet and innocent. If he knew you were out tarting around…"
"Mum!… come on, I'm not like that. You *know* I wouldn't go out and *tart* around."
Rachel smiled and shook her head.
A dangerous combination.
Gabby knew this was NOT going to be pleasant.
Then her mother started.
"If I had a dollar for every seventeen year old, just like you, whose body had been fished out of the harbour. A dollar for every parent I've had to tell that their daughter had met some grizzly death. For every time I'd heard 'but she was such a good girl'. Hell Gabby, we would be living in some bloody mansion on the North Shore, drivin' around in the matching BMW's."
"Mum… we…"
"Who's we?" asked Rachel.
Damn.
Gabby realised that she had *now* dumped her friend into it too.
"Come on… who? Let me guess… Christianna? It would *have* to be… you two are bloody inseparable. I would advise you to tell her to have a chat to her mother before I do. I suppose you're going to tell me it was all her idea?"
"No… no I'm not. It was a mutual decision. Come on Mum, look we were just going to go to the movies. Well that *was* all we were going to do. And well we met up with some friends from school and then we went to ummm…. well… a Pub. But I didn't drink… well only coke… but that was it, honest. I know you don't want me drinking outside home unless you guys are there. We sort of lost track of time I guess."
"You went sneaking out of the house tonight, leaving us thinking you had gone to bed. If I hadn't wanted to talk to you about the phone call I got today about you cutting classes and your grades dropping… I would have been non the wiser. What ever happened with you always being honest with us and telling us where you were going?"
"It went out the window around the time you stopped acting like a mother and started acting like a cop at home," Gabby retaliated.
Gabby wished the words back as soon as they'd left her mouth.
The words had hurt.
The look on Rachel's face.
"Awww Mum…. I didn't mean…."
"Oh yeah, you meant it," Rachel replied softly, still reeling from her daughters accusations. "Am I *really* such a terrible mother Gabby? We used to have such a good relationship, you and me. Perhaps not as good as you and your Father, but I thought, you know… us girls… we stuck together. Is it really *that* bad… me being a cop?"
"No Mum, it's just… hell I don't know… every time I try and talk to you… it's like you're gonna cross examine me. It's like you don't trust me. Hell you and Dad, you've taught me right from wrong. I know what is right… but you act as if…"
"So you go sneaking out? You think *that* shows me that I can trust you?"
"Hell Mum… if I could talk to you these days. I would have asked you if you wanted to go *with* us. Like Christianna gets to do with her Mum. They *do* things together. We don't do anything together anymore. My life is such a damn mess these days… I don't know what I want to do with my life. My school marks are pathetic. I don't think I'm gonna pass. But I just don't have any motivation. And when I want to talk, you're not there. You're just not there anymore."
"It's late," said Rachel wearily. "We will discuss this further in the morning."
"Yeah, discuss it later," said Gabby bitterly, getting up from the couch. "Funny about you wanting to do that."
"Gabrielle don't you talk to me… Gabby… don't you DARE turn your back on me young lady when I am talking to you!"
"I'm going to bed!"
"Don't start back-answering me! Keep this up and your Father *will* know about this!"
Gabby gave her mother her *own* version of the Goldstein glare and then left the room.
"Bloody hell…" Rachel muttered to herself as she turned the lamp back off and headed to bed herself, "when did life get so damn complicated?"
~*~*~*~
"Everyone's pretty quiet this morning," said Frank as he wandered around the kitchen.
"Hmm," said Rachel over the top of the local newspaper and her coffee. Her thoughts were focussed elsewhere. "There was fatal over on The Crescent last night."
"Probably up the Chapman Road end, near Federal Park," said Frank. "There have been a few in that area the last year or so."
"Yeah, could be. Driver and three teenage passengers killed," Rachel said looking at Gabby.
Gabrielle was trying to stay awake after her late night while eating her breakfast. She felt her Mothers stare.
"What a waste," said Frank.
Rachel went back to reading from the paper. "Eighteen year old driver and his three passengers aged between 16 and 18 were killed when their vehicle left The Crescent, Annandale North and struck a tree."
"See probably the Park end," interrupted Frank.
Rachel just looked in Gabrielle's direction, but her daughter wouldn't make eye contact.
"Ah ya see boys," said Frank, talking to the boys and ignoring Gabrielle. *His* little girl was a safe driver. Well Rachel taught her to drive. It would have been a different story if that job had been left to him. He knew that. "See what happens when some young hoon gets his licence? He's not satisfied in just wipin' himself out, he has to take his mates with him."
"Yes, I imagine their parents were wondering where they were," said Rachel. "I mean young people out late at night, sometimes just don't make it home. You just don't know what could happen when you get into a car with a group of other teenagers. You have to be careful."
"Well speaking of cars," said Sam., "I'm heading off for Uni. now. Do either of you guys want a ride to school?"
"Mum just said that we have to be careful about who we get in with," smirked Daniel.
"Yeah… yeah… all right, funny," said Sam. as he cuffed his younger brother behind the ear. "Do you want a lift or not?"
"Yeah okay," Daniel grinned.
"Look, I'm catching the bus to school, " interrupted Gabby. She walked over to the bin, scraped half of her bowl of cereal into it, and dumped the empty bowl in the sink.
"Not hungry this morning sweetie?" asked Frank.
"Not anymore," she replied, still avoiding eye contact with her Mother and left the room.
"What's eating her?" asked Frank. "Perhaps I should go and talk to her?"
Rachel shrugged. "Nah… I wouldn't worry. Teenagers."
"Hmm, yeah," replied Frank. "Female one at that!"
"Watch it Francis!"
"Well come on woman," he continued. "Hurry up or we will be late too."
~*~*~*~
"Muummm?"
Rachel and Frank looked up from their desks. Gabby was standing in the doorway of the office.
Her cheeks stained with tears, and then more cascading like a river down her face.
"Sweetheart?" asked Frank standing up, but he stopped. He could see that she was focussed on Rachel.
"Mummm."
"What's wrong?" Rachel asked as she approached her sobbing daughter.
Gabrielle walked towards her Mother and then threw her arms around her, still sobbing.
Rachel held her tight and let her cry.
Rachel could feel the monsoon rain of tears soaking through the shoulder of her shirt, but she didn't care.
"It's okay baby," said Rachel stroking her hair and rocking her gently. It would have been better she thought if she *knew* what this emotional outpouring was about.
Frank stood there looking confused and worried.
"Mum.." she said, letting go of Rachel momentarily. "It's Rosie… and Paul and…. and Julian and Toby…" she said between sobs before the full flood started again and she threw her arms back around her Mother.
Rachel understood now and held her daughter tighter.
"The accident… the one in the paper this morning.. it is, isn't it?" she asked gently.
Gabrielle sobbed louder. Her whole body shaking with grief. Rachel knew the answer.
Frank could do nothing but stand there. His heart breaking to see his daughter so distraught.
Mum.. it's just so unfair," she sobbed. "It's not fair.. just not fair."
"I know sweetheart. It isn't fair," offered Rachel.
"But we were with them last night. Christianna and I had been with them earlier last night," she said between sobs, "They wanted to give us a life home too. But we said no because there wasn't enough room in the car."
The flood of tears seemed never-ending. The only thing that Rachel could do was to hold her.
Frank was looking on, getting more confused.
"Am I missin' something here?" he asked. "Gabby went to bed early last night Rachel? Gabby? Remember we joked that you must've wanted me to read to you like when you were a little kid. You used to go to bed early for me to read to you," he repeated.
Gabby stood back slightly and sniffed. Rachel wiped some tears from her cheeks with her thumb.
"I think you should tell him," she said softly.
"Tell me what?" he asked feeling more left out and totally confused.
Gabby nodded.
"Can we have a talk?" she sniffed.
"Go out on the balcony," suggested Rachel, "get some air."
"Daddy?"
"Sure angel, come on," Frank replied. He put his arm around her before heading outside.
Helen passed them in the doorway. She could see Gabrielle's tear stained face, gave and she gave Rachel a worried glance.
Rachel waited until they were out of hearing distance.
"Ah some friends of hers… fatal. Kids and damn cars," said Rachel.
"Oh… poor kid," replied Helen. "Her and Frank are…?"
"Ah Daddy is about to find out that his little angel isn't as perfect as he thought," Rachel replied.
"Oh… ouch… that is gonna hurt him isn't it?" said Helen.
"Oh yeah, big time."
~*~*~*~
Frank was already in bed when Rachel finally crawled in.
"How is she?" he asked.
"Ah …. yeah, asleep. She'll be okay eventually I hope. The only person she has really known that has died was Dad, she hasn't had to deal with the subject much. And to have four friends go in one hit…"
"Yeah.. poor silly kids…"
"Yeah…"
"Gabby said that she could have been in that car," continued Frank turning to Rachel.
"I know."
"Like there was room for one more, but she was with Christianna…"
"Yep, joined at the bloody hip those two, she's like an extra one… hell, triplets… urgh.. stuff that," said Rachel. She could see that Frank was still trying to deal with all the newfound information that Gabby had spilt earlier in the day.
"Bloody lucky for us that they are like that," scoffed Frank. "You knew about last night, and you didn't tell me… why?"
"Ah… I don't know Frank. I guess I didn't want to shatter the illusion for you that she was perfect," sighed Rachel.
"Since when have I thought she was perfect?" he retaliated.
"Ah since about… oh probably half a minute after she was born," grinned Rachel.
"What? Nah… come on Rachel… I …"
"No. Admit it Frank," Rachel replied gently. He'd had enough confrontation for one day. "Everytime she did her sweet smile and battered those long lashes across those killer blue eyes… you were gone. If she asked you for the moon, you'd kill ya self trying to get it."
"No.. Rachel… I think you're exaggerating a bit there…"
"Oh am I?" she laughed softly. "You tell me one thing that you have ever denied her? Just one?"
"Yeah okay," he replied as he rolled from his side over onto his back. He lay there, staring at the ceiling, in silence for about five minutes.
"Can't think of anything can you?" Rachel asked as she felt herself drifting off to sleep.
"I'm a sucker for those blue eyes," he finally replied. He rolled back over and took Rachel in his arms.
"Ah huh," she replied with a smile. "so do you realise now just how *long* you have been taken in by them?"
"Oh yeah… well over twenty years by my calculations," he grinned.
"What? Your math needs improving, she's not even eighteen yet."
"Yeah well… she's got your eyes… and I have been a sucker for *them* for a bloody long time."
"Ah hell Francis… I'm tired tonight," replied Rachel with a smile. She knew what he wanted. "But it was worth a try."
"Nah got me wrong Rachel… not trying nothing." He kissed her gently on the lips, "Just statin' a fact." He rolled back over away from her, turned off his lamp and buried his head into the pillow.
"Goodnight Rachel."
Rachel lay there.
Surprised to say the least.
Francis James Holloway with all the words but none of the usual action?
A few minutes passed and still nothing.
Perhaps he *was* being serious?
"Frank?" she queried softly.
"Hmm?" he replied sleepily.
Damn she thought, she was awake now.
She traced her finger around his ear, down his neck and across his shoulder before moving across and pressing her body into his. His warmth sent sparks through her own body.
"Huh? What Rachel?"
She started kissing his bare shoulder and neck.
Frank rolled onto his back, and let Rachel rest her body half across his shoulder and chest.
"I thought you were tired?" he asked as he gazed up at her.
"I was…."
"And you're not now?" he questioned.
She started nuzzling into his neck again.
"Nope," she whispered.
"So.."
'Yeah so," she replied. "You interested?"
"You *really* need to ask?" he smiled.
"Hmmm probably not," she replied kissing him again.
"I'd get *you* the moon *too* if ya wanted it," he replied as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Yeah… I know."
~*~*~*~
More tears followed in the ensuing weeks.
The first week there were funerals to attend. Gabby was emotionally exhausted by the time the last one of her friends was buried. But the others in her circle of friends hadn't looked any better as they stood around hugging one another after each ceremony was over.
Rachel had decided not to pursue the conversation with Gabrielle from that night. She could see that her mind was torturing her over the fact that she had lost four of her friends and yet she was alive.
She took the week off work to be with Gabby to help her though it. She realised that her priorities had wandered out of balance. And the knowledge that it could have been her and Frank burying *their* child brought things back into perspective.
Into the second week, Gabby was barely conscious of what was happening around her. Operating on autopilot, and Frank was devastated that the once bright spark in his daughters eyes had vanished.
They organised some counselling for her and sat back and worried.
Frank had stood silently one night watching her fighting something or someone as she tossed about in her sleep.
He felt so damn powerless to help her.
The moonlight that crept in through a high window threw a peaceful soft light across her sleeping form. But the shadows that fell around her room looked threatening. The were probably the same dark shadows that were hiding secrets in her dreams as she fought with herself.
Gabrielle had moved into Davids converted garage room and turned it into her own studio.
She was the artistic one.
God knows where that gene came from! Neither Frank or Rachel felt that they possessed anything vaguely within themselves that could be deemed artistic. Hell, Frank had enough trouble telling which way was up with some of her abstract canvas work. He was glad that she wasn't overly keen on painting. There were only a few *very* abstract pieces leaning in a corner. No her interests were more along the lines of sculpture and pottery.
She worked part-time in a local gallery and loved it.
She was surrounded by art and people who appreciated and understood it. Something that was severely lacking at home. Frank didn't understand most of it. She used to laugh at his attempts to pretend he understood. She saw straight through his deception.
But now?
Her pottery wheel had sat idle since that night. A couple of times he had heard the hum of its motor, but within a few minutes it was silent again. Half a clay brick that had undergone the beginnings of transformation sat on her work bench, now as dry as the Simpson Desert. The fact that it had her fist imprint inbedded through the middle of it told him that it didn't go as planned. He knew her work and even as an abstract piece, this was not one of them. Now it seemed even to go to work at the gallery was becoming a chore.
Her curls danced softly on her pillow. Hell she was a beautiful kid he thought. He always thought he'd be fighting the guys away from the front door with the proverbial stick. But he hadn't. Maybe that was another part of her life she kept in secret? She kept them hidden. Damn! Why did she have to have secrets? There had never been secrets between them. It had been a pact they had kept with their kids after the boat incident when they were little. No secrets meant no misunderstandings. And she used to tell him everything. How could he look after her if he didn't know?
But that was just it now. She didn't *want* to be looked after anymore. Frank realised this, but it didn't mean he had to like it. He just didn't have any say in the matter.
She had stopped fighting with herself.
Frank left the room slightly comforted in the knowledge that she was again sleeping peacefully. At least until the next dark dream hit.
By the end of week three, they breathed a small, but collective, sigh of relief. Frank and Rachel were sitting in the kitchen talking over the case they were working when they heard Gabrielle hurl a mouthful of abuse at her younger brother. Well he *was* younger albeit only by a few minutes, but it was a fact that she enjoyed reminding him off.
Poor Daniel. He had missed out on the Holloway/Goldstein level of sarcasm. They could hear her laughing at his feeble attempt to counter attack.
They looked at each other and smiled.
Gabby was on her way back.
~*~*~
Gabrielle wandered into the kitchen. She could hear her parents laughing in the backyard. She looked out the window. They were sitting together on the old swing lounge under a tree.
She like to hear them laugh.
It was always a *pleasant* change.
They argued so damn well with each other.
But she knew it was just a front.
They were still so damn in love.
Ewwww… parents!
Gabby was waging a debate with herself now.
Would this be a good time?
Would they be happy for her?
She grabbed three beers out of the fridge and walked into the backyard to join them.
"Hey you guys," she called.
"Hey there love," called Frank, "how was work?"
"Ah same old same old," she replied as she stopped the swing for a second. She handed them a beer each and pushed it back to rock again before opened the remaining stubbie for herself.
"Ah Gabby?" started Frank.
"It's okay Dad, I'm not going out tonight. No intention in driving anywhere," she replied as she took a mouthful and sat on the ground opposite them.
"That's okay then," he replied.
"Yeah I'm stuffed. We had so many through the gallery today. I get the dumbest questions," she continued. "Like… 'is that an original or a copy'… I mean, it's a bloody Art gallery… what do they *think*? Of *course* it's an original."
"Ah but you were tactful in tellin' them weren't ya," smiled Frank.
"Oh yeah. Tactful of course. I learnt all the tact I need from you and Mum," she replied sarcastically.
"Ha!… she's not half yours," grinned Frank.
"Speak for yourself," replied Rachel.
"Actually they have offered me a full-time job at the gallery," she continued.
"Well you weren't too hopeful about getting into that Fine Arts degree," Rachel said.
"No," replied Gabby. "But I turned them down. I have decided that I do still want to go to Uni. I've been looking into courses over at Charles Sturt. There is a course there that really interests me. Carl at the Gallery is still happy for me to work there part-time on weekends though. So I will still be earning a little bit. I won't leave you totally penniless."
"Ah are you going to have the marks to get in Gabby?" queried Rachel. "I mean, let's be honest here, your final marks aren't looking to damn hopeful unless you pull your finger out."
"Yeah, I've decided I want this," she replied. "I'm going to cram and study like hell for the next month."
"Ah and here's me thinking for a second we'd get out of Uni. fees for at least one of you. Damn… another one at Uni. for the next three years," Frank laughed.
"Unless of course you want to be a brain surgeon. That's at least six years isn't it?" quipped Rachel.
"Yeah I could experiment on Daniel… see if I can *locate* his brain," she grinned.
"Now don't be like that," chastised Frank with a grin.
"Yeah, yeah… I *know* we're twins and everything, but gees… maybe it's because he's male?" she continued.
Frank shook his head and smiled.
"Yep, she's your daughter all right," he said.
Rachel threw him a look.
The killer one.
And then she smiled at him.
A real one.
"Anyway… I'll only be at Uni. for 12 months," Gabby added taking another mouthful of her drink. Beer something that was unavoidable in this household, an appreciation she had picked up from both her parents.
"Twelve months? What sort of Arts course is it?" queried Frank. "You're not gonna do anything dodgy are you Gabrielle?"
"It's not an Arts course… well I suppose its an art it's a… it's a… Diploma in Policing actually."
"Whoa… rewind that tape there… I could have sworn you said Policing?" said Frank.
"She did," added Rachel.
Frank shook his head. "Nah… no way Gabby… I don't want any of my kids… I don't want *you* doin' this. What on *earth* possessed you to even… it was Jen. wasn't it? She's painted a pretty picture of the job…"
"It wasn't Jen.," she interrupted. "Hell I have lived the force all my life. It's *you* guys… you've been the ones who have made me want to do this.
I have been trying to figure out what it is that I wanted to do with my life. I *love* my art and I am *good* at my art, but if I wanted to be able to make a full time living out of it I would have to be *brilliant* at my art. And I know I'm not brilliant. So I've been looking around at my life. And the Cops, I've lived it with you two. Hell most of my earliest memories are from down at the office. You've taught me to respect the law…"
"Hell Gabby… do you realise how bloody dangerous this job is? I've taken bullets, looked down the barrel of more guns than I care to remember. And your mother… I mean what… three years ago?" said Frank looking at Rachel.
Rachel nodded. "Yeah almost three."
"Three years ago," he continued. "You sat with me at the hospital asking me why your mother had to be a cop… wanting me to convince her to give it up… Why don't you go and do something *safe* Gabby?"
"Ah come on Dad, can you see me doing something safe? Me… safe? I'm a bloody Holloway! I've been reminded of *that* all my life. And if you remember Daddy dear," she smiled. "You sat there and told me *why* she was a cop, why you *both* were and how you couldn't *be* anything else if you tried."
Frank looked at Gabby and then to Rachel. Hoping that Rachel would find the words that he was searching for .
"I think she's got you there," said Rachel.
It wasn't what Frank wanted to hear.
Where was back up when he needed it?
"Look, I've got to give it a go," Gabrielle continued. "At least try. I don't want to wonder if I could have made it. If I could be a good copper. Shit, surely with the genetics that I have inherited, I could be a *half* decent copper."
"Which half?" asked Frank.
Rachel laughed.
"What's so funny?" Gabby asked.
"Oh… just thinking what the Brass will say if they see the name 'Holloway' turn up again?
Frank raised an eyebrow. "Yeah but they'll hopefully know she's your kid too… that will balance it out."
"I bloody hope so," said Gabby. "Or I don't stand a chance! So… you guys are okay with this?"
"Do we have a choice?" asked Frank.
"Well no… but it would be nice to have a bit of encouragement," she added. "When Sam. got into Engineering last year you were pretty happy about it. And when Daniel told you he'd decided to Economic next year you were over the moon…"
"That's because he has actually decided to *do* something other than to drop out of society and become a damn surfie," said Rachel.
"Yeah," added Frank, "between David being a solicitor, Sam. going be an Engineer, Daniel doing Economics, shit just between the *guys* there should be enough money to look after us in our old age. God knows the bloody Police pension won't cover much. I was quite happy with you planning on being the creative one with your pottery and sculpture. We could have just wandered along to your exhibition grand openings and drunk heaps."
"Yeah the money isn't great. We've still go a couple of years left on the house to pay," reminded Rachel.
"Are you prepared to be poverty stricken for the next twenty years?" asked Frank.
"You think I'm leavin' home in a hurry?" she grinned. "I'll try and be back home every weekend and I would be hoping for metro. if I get in and actually make it thorough."
"Well, I could see what I could do," offered Frank. "I must have a few people who owe me favours."
"No! No way Dad! I'm going to do this by myself. So don't you even *think* about it," she replied. "You'd have me behind a damn desk somewhere if you had anything to do with it!"
"Ha!" laughed Rachel. "you're right, definitely mine. She's on to you Francis."
Frank shrugged and grinned. "Well, what can I say?"
The End.