Author: Eternity
Title: Down a Different Path: Chapter Two
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: Parts of "The Kidz Are Aiight" and could include anything before that.
Summary: Max and Zach return to Seattle after escaping Lydecker's men. Max must deal with her newfound feelings for Zach and make a few alterations in her life.
Distribution: Please ask, I'll almost always let you post it I just like to know where it goes.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine and neither is the Dark Angel world or concept. The words and the idea surrounding this story however is.
Author's Note: For Owl and Pooh_Bah I will leave Zach as ZacK for this fic. Also thanks again to Owl for editing.
~~~~~
We wait all night for the sounds of the search to die down. He sleeps for a while, never taking his hand from mine. We don't talk. Something new is growing, something precious that needs this comfortable silence. When we decide it's safe to leave, we stand and creep to the entrance of the cave then escape through the woods, careful to avoid any of Lydecker's men still surveying the area. I find where I stashed my bike and uncover it, checking for any scratches or harm that may have come to it. I meant it when I told Original Cindy it was an extension of my soul if there was such a thing. After all, a girl's gotta look after her soul.
It was ridiculously easy to escape, but that was probably due to the fact that we found the transmitter before anything important was said. I shudder to think what could have happened if it had been left undiscovered.
"So where are we going?" he asks, leaving it up to me for a change. I think for a moment then decide that home would be the best, at least for now. I, we, need time to figure out where we are going from here.
"My place," I tell him and I'm surprised when he doesn't protest. We climb on the bike and he wraps his arms around my waist, something that is both calming and unsettling at the same time. We don't stop the entire way back to Seattle except for a couple bathroom breaks and a short meal. The waitress at the diner was a little shocked at Zack's appearance but had the tact not to comment on it. A quality you don't find much these days which I was immensely grateful for.
We get back to my place nighttime two days later, though the trip did have its ups I was relieved to be back home. Zack needed time to sleep and heal and I needed some time to think over what was happening by myself. Maybe some friendly advice too.
"Original Cindy is probably sleeping, so we should try to keep it down," I whisper to him and he nods in understanding. I wheel the bike in and prop it up in the usual spot, putting my glasses down on top of it.
"Girl! Where you been?" I hear a voice comment loudly from the vicinity of Original Cindy's room. A light is turned on and I see her standing there, one hand on her hip with an expectant look on her face. "Original Cindy told you to call so she wouldn't worry," she remarked with a raised eyebrow.
"I got held up," I say with a shrug. She just makes a little 'mm-hmm' sound which says it isn't an excuse. "Sorry, Mom," I add and take off my jacket.
"Well, well, who's this? Sam or Zack or Billy Bob or whoever the hell you are today?" she says, seeing Zack. He just stands there, hands in his pockets.
"Zack," he says and glances at me questioningly. I know he's asking if she knows now or not. I nod slightly and I can see he is upset.
"Why?" he asks and part of me is glad to see the changes in our relationship won't make him stop holding me accountable for what he thinks is wrong, even I know they are right. It just wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't be Zack.
"She deserved to know the truth, some heavy stuff happened and she was center stage," I reply truthfully.
"It compromised--" he begins but I cut him off.
"Zack, what's she gonna do? She's a bike messenger. A normal human. She really doesn't have much power anywhere," I point out. "Besides, she's my homegirl and she won't tell anyone anything," I say, looking at Original Cindy.
"Damn straight, my lips are sealed," she says and makes the motion of a key turning at her lips. "So this is one of your super soldier buddies?" she asks, looking at Zack with a little apprehension in her eyes. I guess accepting me isn't the same as accepting all the X5s.
"Yeah, don't worry, though; he doesn't bite," I reply, a touch of anger in my voice. He's never done anything to hurt her and neither have I, well not on purpose anyway. Maybe I should be a little more lenient though, I've been living with all this my whole life she's only had a couple weeks.
"Not usually, anyway," Zach replies with a straight face. Original Cindy's eyes widen a moment before she laughs.
"Don't mess with me Boo," she says and the ice breaks a little.
"I'm going to heat some water for a bath," I announce and head for the kitchen. I start filling pots of water and putting them on the stove.
"I'll use the water first. You're dirtier than me so you go last," I tell Zack who nods.
Original Cindy makes a face at the thought of using someone's leftover bath water.
"So what were you off doing anyway?" she asks sitting down on her bed and pulling back the curtains.
I glance at Zack instinctively, who nods. "Zack was captured, a couple months ago." I don't mention he was actually turning himself in for me, I don't want to deal with that guilt right now. "They let him escape thinking he'd lead them to all of us. We found the tracking device before anything major got out," I explain and she nods, looking once more at Zack's beaten appearance.
"Aiight, aiight," Original Cindy nods. "So you got one of them barcodes?" She asks Zack.
"Yeah, it's probably come back by now." He touches the back of his neck, as if he can feel it.
"Max said they're programmed all up in your genetic code or whatever," Cindy comments with a little confusion.
"You can get them temporarily removed, but they come back in a few weeks." Zack explains to her, then he looks back to me.
"Can I use your phone?" he asks. I nod though a little confused as to who he would call. He goes over and picks up the phone, quickly dialing the number.
"Boo," I hear Original Cindy say. "Come here." So I go over and sit next to her to hear what she has to say.
"What's goin' on here?" she whispers.
"I already told you," I reply, my focus still on Zack.
"No, I mean what's goin' on," she repeats, emphasizing the last part of the sentence. I look at her and smile a little, then shrug.
"Something good," I reply cryptically.
"You've been gone couple days and all of a sudden rich boy's outta your mind and you're starting somethin' up with this guy?" she asks doubtfully.
"I'm not, I mean I still care about Logan, Cindy. I just realized that it's not that kind of caring. The whole passionate, fireball love thing," I try to explain to her as I'm sorting it through my mind. "I've never had anything to compare all these things to. Everything just kind of came together while was gone. I found a feeling with Zack that I'd never had with Logan or anyone else." She is watching me intently, and I can see that Zack is listening too, his body slightly turned towards us. I see him relax when I say that, but he doesn't stop listening.
"I was comfortable with Logan, but I don't think he ever really knew me, or wanted to accept who I was. There was always something missing." I smile a little and shrug once more. Cindy nods and puts an arm around my shoulder.
"Original Cindy understands the heart is a fickle bitch. You do what makes you happy. That's what matters," she says. "Now your bathwater's probably warm. Go soak up girl, maybe me and Mr. Bitey Bites here'll have a little chit chat."
"Just don't hurt him," I tell her with a smile and go to the kitchen to check on the pots which are nice and hot. Zack is still on the phone with one eye on me while I carry the pans into the bathroom and begin to fill the bathtub. I add in cool water accordingly to make it the right temperature.
"I'll be out in a couple minutes," I call out the door and shut it. It must be the quickest bath I have taken in a year. Usually I take my time and savor the feeling of being submerged in the warm water. Tonight though, something better is outside the bathroom than in. The last few days have been filled with so many things, so many new feelings I don't know if I want to run around the city or actually crash for a couple of hours.
I slip on a pair of fresh jeans and a shirt, knowing I will have to make at least one outside trip tonight and go out into the living room.
"There's a razor in the cupboard if you want to shave," I tell him. I see desire in his eyes when he looks at me, wet and warm from my bath and it sends a shiver down my spine. He just nods though and heads towards the bathroom. He turns back a moment before entering.
"Do you have any clean clothes I can change into?" I knew I forgot something. I don't have anything to fit and Original Cindy wouldn't either.
"Actually I have something," Cindy says and I look her at her in surprise.
"Since when do you have guy clothes?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
"Brother man's crashed at my place a couple times when his lady was in a fit or sometin," she answers and pulls out a t-shirt and a pair of ugly orange sweatpants which she tosses to Zack. He mutters something like a thanks and disappears into the bathroom.
"So did you guys talk?" I ask with a smile, slipping my boots on and wringing out my wet hair. She shrugs and a smug look plants itself on her face.
"That is con. Fi. Den. Tial." She replied and grins. I think a minute before answering.
"He didn't tell you anything," I say after a moment.
"The hell he didn't," Original Cindy protests. I just laugh and shake my hair loose around my face for easier drying.
"He doesn't even know you yet. Even I have a hard time trying to get things out of him," I tell her. "Besides, I would have heard you from the bathroom."
"Cheater," she replies. "Aiight, he didn't say anything, we just sat there and watched each other," she admits with a roll of her eyes. She pauses then and looks at me carefully.
"Original Cindy knows peeps, Boo, it's a gift or whatever you wanna call it. And I can see that man got issues. Serious issues. You sure you're ready to deal with that?"
"Yeah, I know. Maybe it'll give me some time to deal with my own issues along the way." I reply.
"Just don't you be diving into a shallow pond," she warns.
"Don't worry about me," I tell her. "Listen, I think I'm gonna head on over to Logan's and get all this straightened out. I need to clear something's up as soon as possible. Tell Zack he can crash in my bed if he wants, I'll be back as soon as I can." After saying that I grab my jacket and glasses and begin to wheel my bike out of the room. I take one more look at the bathroom door, then say to Cindy, "Back in a flash."
I drive slower than usual on the way there, trying to think about what I am going to say. I'm nervous but I don't consider turning around. I never was good at retreat.
Once I arrive, I knock once before entering. I know Bling is gone or asleep in the guest room, so I don't worry about bothering him. I can hear movement in the living room so that's where I head. I come upon Logan typing on his computer. My feet don't make any noise on the floor so he doesn't know I am here.
"Hey," I say quietly. He jumps a little, then turns around a little to look at me.
"Oh, hey, Max," he says with a smile. "Sorry if I don't get up, the legs have had enough exercise for the time being."
"No problem," I lean against the doorway slightly. I try to conjure up the words to say to him.
"How did everything go with Zack?" he inquires. I almost jump in surprise. he can't know...can he? Of course not, he must be talking about the rescue.
"Easy stuff," I reply nonchalantly, not saying anything about the transmitter.
"So he's off on his own again already?" I can hear his distaste for Zack in his voice. I am a little angry at that; he doesn't know Zack at all, doesn't know what he went through, the sacrifices he made.
"No, he's staying with me for a while. He was cleaning up when I left," My voice calm and steady. I want to get this over now though, and without hurting Logan too much. He is, after all, my friend.
"Listen, there is a reason I came over her tonight," I try to begin.
"Oh really, what's that?" He tilts his head slightly to the side and grins, the way he says it makes me flinch slightly. Oh great, he's trying to flirt with me. I have to do this now before he gets the wrong impression about why I am here.
"I know it seems like something was happening between us before. I found out a lot of things these past couple days though. Epiphanies and revelations and all that."
He stops smiling. I think he knows what's coming.
"I do care about you, but not in the romantic way. You're one of my best friends and I guess I messed that all up with something else." He doesn't look at me and I can't help but compare that weakness with the way Zack looked at me, completely unafraid of anything I would say. "I just don't want you to think something's gonna happen with us when it isn't."
"So he convinced you you need to stick with your training. Forget about 'phony sentimentality,' huh?" he asks bitterly.
"No, he didn't force me to do anything. I have a mind of my own." I can't help but resent the way he thinks I would so easily do what someone else told me to. He should know that's not who I am.
"Then what is it? The chair thing? I don't understand," he still doesn't look at me. Which bothers me, you always look someone in the eye when you talk to them. It shows you're not afraid of them. Maybe that doesn't fit with him here though.
"Things change, feelings change, people change," I say with a shrug. I can't explain it any better than that. He turns to look at me then, angry and hurt. Realization dawns in his eyes.
"It's Zack, isn't it? You've decided to forget everything for some fling with your brother," he says it in disgust, appalled. I stand up straight and cross my arms, my chin thrusts forward slightly in anger.
"He's not my brother and I'm not having some fling," I snap. I thought he would be able to handle this without insults. "Don't act like a child over this, Logan, we were never together."
"Well, go have fun with your psychopath. I'm sure you two will have a blast. Maybe you can work on his people skills, or get him a decent personality and some emotions," he's as sarcastic as I have ever heard him.
"Screw you," I tighten my lips and shake my head. "I never knew you could be such an asshole. You don't understand anything, you don't know one bit," I'm speaking harshly but I can't help it.
"I think you should go," he says and looks away once more. I turn around on my heel and march towards the door.
"See ya around," I snap and slam the door. I feel the pain that accompanies losing a good friend, but it isn't as bad as I would have thought. I grab my motorcycle and slowly make my way to the elevator. The door opens back down the hall and I turn around in hope, thinking maybe Logan had changed his mind. He hadn't. It was Bling.
"Hey Max, you take care of yourself," he says gently. "Maybe he'll change his mind someday. He's hurt." He smiles at me and I feel a little better.
"I will, and thanks," I say and get into the elevator, pushing the button for the ground floor. A couple minutes later, I'm speeding through the streets of Seattle, my mind busy. I don't have to think about where I am going so that leaves time for more interesting thought. Guys are sensitive, much more than they like to admit. I know he'll get over it, I guess I just doesn't like admitting he 'lost' like I was some prize or something.
Men are a completely different species. Who's ever going to understand them anyway? For that matter, why bother trying? It only causes headaches. Might as well go with the flow and try to make sure things at least end up on the same road you wanted to be on.
My building comes into view a short while later, far from the comfortable, clean place in Logan's neighborhood. I am careful not to bother the man sleeping on the front step and ride the rickety, creaky elevator up to my floor. I don't hear any sounds so I move silently into my place, shutting and bolting the door behind me.
I'm pretty tired from all the emotional turmoil so after I park my bike and make sure she isn't going to tip, I grab some shorts and a tank top from my chest and head into the bathroom to change, brush my teeth and pop some tryptophan. I look at myself in the mirror.
"Hope you made the right choices here, girl," I say, though I know I did. I turn off the light and reenter the living room where my bed is hidden behind a curtain. Zack is lying on it, still awake.
"Should I leave?" he asks quietly, searching my eyes for answers.
"Why would you leave?" I ask and sit down on the bed, closing the sheet curtains behind me.
"You went over to Logan's," he said quietly. I almost smiled; I never realized Zach could be this unsure. It was like he always knew what he wanted and wouldn't let anyone stop in the way of that. I guess we both have a lot to learn about each other.
"I just had to clear up some stuff. I don't want you to go anywhere," I tell him and climb up next to him. He's warm, and smells clean like soap, his face is smooth once again and now it's easier to see the bruises and marks on his skin. I touch one of them softly and he flinches, probably unused to a gentle touch.
"They'll heal," he whispers.
"I'm sorry," I whisper back, feeling overwhelming guilt for putting him through all of that. If it weren't for me, he never would have had to go back there.
"It's not your fault. It was my choice," he answered and I could see he didn't blame me at all.
"I could have stopped them I could have gotten you out or something," I protest. He shakes his head, knowing as I do that it would have been impossible for me to breach Manticore on my own.
"It's not your fault Max. I did it because I had to." He leans back on the bed and I lay down next to him on my side, watching him. There is something in his eyes that I don't want to see.
"You're leaving," I whisper and I don't know if I can handle that, not again. Not now.
"I have to, I checked in with the contact number, but I still need to head down to check on Xane. I haven't seen him in a long time," he replies.
"I'm coming with you," I reply instantly.
"No, you can't," he says just as quickly. He is adamant, but so am I.
"I don't care if it's risky. Like staying in Seattle isn't? You have to trust me more, Zack, all of us. We're your family, we all have to take care of each other. We're not brothers and sisters obviously, but we're something just as tight and just as important. We all need to see each other, Zack," I tell him, desire to see them all again shining brightly in my eyes. He hesitates, not ready to give up what he had gone by for 10 years so quickly.
"A lot of things are changing, Zack, this needs to be one of them," I say firmly. He nods, though not completely willingly or sure. I know it means I can come with him. Not that I can coordinate a X5 reunion, though, that will come later.
"So we'll leave tomorrow or the next day," he says and takes my hand like he did in the cave and squeezes it. I climb under the covers and relax, deciding that I will sleep after all and wake up tomorrow ready for changes I have waited forever for.
~~~~
As before I have ended it so it could go on or end here. As always I am not going to keep parts from you if you don't give me feedback it will all depend on if I have the motivation or inspiration to write a next part. Reviewing is however greatly appreciated, even if you just want to let me know it's horrible and you think I should never be allowed on a computer again.
Title: Down a Different Path: Chapter Two
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: Parts of "The Kidz Are Aiight" and could include anything before that.
Summary: Max and Zach return to Seattle after escaping Lydecker's men. Max must deal with her newfound feelings for Zach and make a few alterations in her life.
Distribution: Please ask, I'll almost always let you post it I just like to know where it goes.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine and neither is the Dark Angel world or concept. The words and the idea surrounding this story however is.
Author's Note: For Owl and Pooh_Bah I will leave Zach as ZacK for this fic. Also thanks again to Owl for editing.
~~~~~
We wait all night for the sounds of the search to die down. He sleeps for a while, never taking his hand from mine. We don't talk. Something new is growing, something precious that needs this comfortable silence. When we decide it's safe to leave, we stand and creep to the entrance of the cave then escape through the woods, careful to avoid any of Lydecker's men still surveying the area. I find where I stashed my bike and uncover it, checking for any scratches or harm that may have come to it. I meant it when I told Original Cindy it was an extension of my soul if there was such a thing. After all, a girl's gotta look after her soul.
It was ridiculously easy to escape, but that was probably due to the fact that we found the transmitter before anything important was said. I shudder to think what could have happened if it had been left undiscovered.
"So where are we going?" he asks, leaving it up to me for a change. I think for a moment then decide that home would be the best, at least for now. I, we, need time to figure out where we are going from here.
"My place," I tell him and I'm surprised when he doesn't protest. We climb on the bike and he wraps his arms around my waist, something that is both calming and unsettling at the same time. We don't stop the entire way back to Seattle except for a couple bathroom breaks and a short meal. The waitress at the diner was a little shocked at Zack's appearance but had the tact not to comment on it. A quality you don't find much these days which I was immensely grateful for.
We get back to my place nighttime two days later, though the trip did have its ups I was relieved to be back home. Zack needed time to sleep and heal and I needed some time to think over what was happening by myself. Maybe some friendly advice too.
"Original Cindy is probably sleeping, so we should try to keep it down," I whisper to him and he nods in understanding. I wheel the bike in and prop it up in the usual spot, putting my glasses down on top of it.
"Girl! Where you been?" I hear a voice comment loudly from the vicinity of Original Cindy's room. A light is turned on and I see her standing there, one hand on her hip with an expectant look on her face. "Original Cindy told you to call so she wouldn't worry," she remarked with a raised eyebrow.
"I got held up," I say with a shrug. She just makes a little 'mm-hmm' sound which says it isn't an excuse. "Sorry, Mom," I add and take off my jacket.
"Well, well, who's this? Sam or Zack or Billy Bob or whoever the hell you are today?" she says, seeing Zack. He just stands there, hands in his pockets.
"Zack," he says and glances at me questioningly. I know he's asking if she knows now or not. I nod slightly and I can see he is upset.
"Why?" he asks and part of me is glad to see the changes in our relationship won't make him stop holding me accountable for what he thinks is wrong, even I know they are right. It just wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't be Zack.
"She deserved to know the truth, some heavy stuff happened and she was center stage," I reply truthfully.
"It compromised--" he begins but I cut him off.
"Zack, what's she gonna do? She's a bike messenger. A normal human. She really doesn't have much power anywhere," I point out. "Besides, she's my homegirl and she won't tell anyone anything," I say, looking at Original Cindy.
"Damn straight, my lips are sealed," she says and makes the motion of a key turning at her lips. "So this is one of your super soldier buddies?" she asks, looking at Zack with a little apprehension in her eyes. I guess accepting me isn't the same as accepting all the X5s.
"Yeah, don't worry, though; he doesn't bite," I reply, a touch of anger in my voice. He's never done anything to hurt her and neither have I, well not on purpose anyway. Maybe I should be a little more lenient though, I've been living with all this my whole life she's only had a couple weeks.
"Not usually, anyway," Zach replies with a straight face. Original Cindy's eyes widen a moment before she laughs.
"Don't mess with me Boo," she says and the ice breaks a little.
"I'm going to heat some water for a bath," I announce and head for the kitchen. I start filling pots of water and putting them on the stove.
"I'll use the water first. You're dirtier than me so you go last," I tell Zack who nods.
Original Cindy makes a face at the thought of using someone's leftover bath water.
"So what were you off doing anyway?" she asks sitting down on her bed and pulling back the curtains.
I glance at Zack instinctively, who nods. "Zack was captured, a couple months ago." I don't mention he was actually turning himself in for me, I don't want to deal with that guilt right now. "They let him escape thinking he'd lead them to all of us. We found the tracking device before anything major got out," I explain and she nods, looking once more at Zack's beaten appearance.
"Aiight, aiight," Original Cindy nods. "So you got one of them barcodes?" She asks Zack.
"Yeah, it's probably come back by now." He touches the back of his neck, as if he can feel it.
"Max said they're programmed all up in your genetic code or whatever," Cindy comments with a little confusion.
"You can get them temporarily removed, but they come back in a few weeks." Zack explains to her, then he looks back to me.
"Can I use your phone?" he asks. I nod though a little confused as to who he would call. He goes over and picks up the phone, quickly dialing the number.
"Boo," I hear Original Cindy say. "Come here." So I go over and sit next to her to hear what she has to say.
"What's goin' on here?" she whispers.
"I already told you," I reply, my focus still on Zack.
"No, I mean what's goin' on," she repeats, emphasizing the last part of the sentence. I look at her and smile a little, then shrug.
"Something good," I reply cryptically.
"You've been gone couple days and all of a sudden rich boy's outta your mind and you're starting somethin' up with this guy?" she asks doubtfully.
"I'm not, I mean I still care about Logan, Cindy. I just realized that it's not that kind of caring. The whole passionate, fireball love thing," I try to explain to her as I'm sorting it through my mind. "I've never had anything to compare all these things to. Everything just kind of came together while was gone. I found a feeling with Zack that I'd never had with Logan or anyone else." She is watching me intently, and I can see that Zack is listening too, his body slightly turned towards us. I see him relax when I say that, but he doesn't stop listening.
"I was comfortable with Logan, but I don't think he ever really knew me, or wanted to accept who I was. There was always something missing." I smile a little and shrug once more. Cindy nods and puts an arm around my shoulder.
"Original Cindy understands the heart is a fickle bitch. You do what makes you happy. That's what matters," she says. "Now your bathwater's probably warm. Go soak up girl, maybe me and Mr. Bitey Bites here'll have a little chit chat."
"Just don't hurt him," I tell her with a smile and go to the kitchen to check on the pots which are nice and hot. Zack is still on the phone with one eye on me while I carry the pans into the bathroom and begin to fill the bathtub. I add in cool water accordingly to make it the right temperature.
"I'll be out in a couple minutes," I call out the door and shut it. It must be the quickest bath I have taken in a year. Usually I take my time and savor the feeling of being submerged in the warm water. Tonight though, something better is outside the bathroom than in. The last few days have been filled with so many things, so many new feelings I don't know if I want to run around the city or actually crash for a couple of hours.
I slip on a pair of fresh jeans and a shirt, knowing I will have to make at least one outside trip tonight and go out into the living room.
"There's a razor in the cupboard if you want to shave," I tell him. I see desire in his eyes when he looks at me, wet and warm from my bath and it sends a shiver down my spine. He just nods though and heads towards the bathroom. He turns back a moment before entering.
"Do you have any clean clothes I can change into?" I knew I forgot something. I don't have anything to fit and Original Cindy wouldn't either.
"Actually I have something," Cindy says and I look her at her in surprise.
"Since when do you have guy clothes?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
"Brother man's crashed at my place a couple times when his lady was in a fit or sometin," she answers and pulls out a t-shirt and a pair of ugly orange sweatpants which she tosses to Zack. He mutters something like a thanks and disappears into the bathroom.
"So did you guys talk?" I ask with a smile, slipping my boots on and wringing out my wet hair. She shrugs and a smug look plants itself on her face.
"That is con. Fi. Den. Tial." She replied and grins. I think a minute before answering.
"He didn't tell you anything," I say after a moment.
"The hell he didn't," Original Cindy protests. I just laugh and shake my hair loose around my face for easier drying.
"He doesn't even know you yet. Even I have a hard time trying to get things out of him," I tell her. "Besides, I would have heard you from the bathroom."
"Cheater," she replies. "Aiight, he didn't say anything, we just sat there and watched each other," she admits with a roll of her eyes. She pauses then and looks at me carefully.
"Original Cindy knows peeps, Boo, it's a gift or whatever you wanna call it. And I can see that man got issues. Serious issues. You sure you're ready to deal with that?"
"Yeah, I know. Maybe it'll give me some time to deal with my own issues along the way." I reply.
"Just don't you be diving into a shallow pond," she warns.
"Don't worry about me," I tell her. "Listen, I think I'm gonna head on over to Logan's and get all this straightened out. I need to clear something's up as soon as possible. Tell Zack he can crash in my bed if he wants, I'll be back as soon as I can." After saying that I grab my jacket and glasses and begin to wheel my bike out of the room. I take one more look at the bathroom door, then say to Cindy, "Back in a flash."
I drive slower than usual on the way there, trying to think about what I am going to say. I'm nervous but I don't consider turning around. I never was good at retreat.
Once I arrive, I knock once before entering. I know Bling is gone or asleep in the guest room, so I don't worry about bothering him. I can hear movement in the living room so that's where I head. I come upon Logan typing on his computer. My feet don't make any noise on the floor so he doesn't know I am here.
"Hey," I say quietly. He jumps a little, then turns around a little to look at me.
"Oh, hey, Max," he says with a smile. "Sorry if I don't get up, the legs have had enough exercise for the time being."
"No problem," I lean against the doorway slightly. I try to conjure up the words to say to him.
"How did everything go with Zack?" he inquires. I almost jump in surprise. he can't know...can he? Of course not, he must be talking about the rescue.
"Easy stuff," I reply nonchalantly, not saying anything about the transmitter.
"So he's off on his own again already?" I can hear his distaste for Zack in his voice. I am a little angry at that; he doesn't know Zack at all, doesn't know what he went through, the sacrifices he made.
"No, he's staying with me for a while. He was cleaning up when I left," My voice calm and steady. I want to get this over now though, and without hurting Logan too much. He is, after all, my friend.
"Listen, there is a reason I came over her tonight," I try to begin.
"Oh really, what's that?" He tilts his head slightly to the side and grins, the way he says it makes me flinch slightly. Oh great, he's trying to flirt with me. I have to do this now before he gets the wrong impression about why I am here.
"I know it seems like something was happening between us before. I found out a lot of things these past couple days though. Epiphanies and revelations and all that."
He stops smiling. I think he knows what's coming.
"I do care about you, but not in the romantic way. You're one of my best friends and I guess I messed that all up with something else." He doesn't look at me and I can't help but compare that weakness with the way Zack looked at me, completely unafraid of anything I would say. "I just don't want you to think something's gonna happen with us when it isn't."
"So he convinced you you need to stick with your training. Forget about 'phony sentimentality,' huh?" he asks bitterly.
"No, he didn't force me to do anything. I have a mind of my own." I can't help but resent the way he thinks I would so easily do what someone else told me to. He should know that's not who I am.
"Then what is it? The chair thing? I don't understand," he still doesn't look at me. Which bothers me, you always look someone in the eye when you talk to them. It shows you're not afraid of them. Maybe that doesn't fit with him here though.
"Things change, feelings change, people change," I say with a shrug. I can't explain it any better than that. He turns to look at me then, angry and hurt. Realization dawns in his eyes.
"It's Zack, isn't it? You've decided to forget everything for some fling with your brother," he says it in disgust, appalled. I stand up straight and cross my arms, my chin thrusts forward slightly in anger.
"He's not my brother and I'm not having some fling," I snap. I thought he would be able to handle this without insults. "Don't act like a child over this, Logan, we were never together."
"Well, go have fun with your psychopath. I'm sure you two will have a blast. Maybe you can work on his people skills, or get him a decent personality and some emotions," he's as sarcastic as I have ever heard him.
"Screw you," I tighten my lips and shake my head. "I never knew you could be such an asshole. You don't understand anything, you don't know one bit," I'm speaking harshly but I can't help it.
"I think you should go," he says and looks away once more. I turn around on my heel and march towards the door.
"See ya around," I snap and slam the door. I feel the pain that accompanies losing a good friend, but it isn't as bad as I would have thought. I grab my motorcycle and slowly make my way to the elevator. The door opens back down the hall and I turn around in hope, thinking maybe Logan had changed his mind. He hadn't. It was Bling.
"Hey Max, you take care of yourself," he says gently. "Maybe he'll change his mind someday. He's hurt." He smiles at me and I feel a little better.
"I will, and thanks," I say and get into the elevator, pushing the button for the ground floor. A couple minutes later, I'm speeding through the streets of Seattle, my mind busy. I don't have to think about where I am going so that leaves time for more interesting thought. Guys are sensitive, much more than they like to admit. I know he'll get over it, I guess I just doesn't like admitting he 'lost' like I was some prize or something.
Men are a completely different species. Who's ever going to understand them anyway? For that matter, why bother trying? It only causes headaches. Might as well go with the flow and try to make sure things at least end up on the same road you wanted to be on.
My building comes into view a short while later, far from the comfortable, clean place in Logan's neighborhood. I am careful not to bother the man sleeping on the front step and ride the rickety, creaky elevator up to my floor. I don't hear any sounds so I move silently into my place, shutting and bolting the door behind me.
I'm pretty tired from all the emotional turmoil so after I park my bike and make sure she isn't going to tip, I grab some shorts and a tank top from my chest and head into the bathroom to change, brush my teeth and pop some tryptophan. I look at myself in the mirror.
"Hope you made the right choices here, girl," I say, though I know I did. I turn off the light and reenter the living room where my bed is hidden behind a curtain. Zack is lying on it, still awake.
"Should I leave?" he asks quietly, searching my eyes for answers.
"Why would you leave?" I ask and sit down on the bed, closing the sheet curtains behind me.
"You went over to Logan's," he said quietly. I almost smiled; I never realized Zach could be this unsure. It was like he always knew what he wanted and wouldn't let anyone stop in the way of that. I guess we both have a lot to learn about each other.
"I just had to clear up some stuff. I don't want you to go anywhere," I tell him and climb up next to him. He's warm, and smells clean like soap, his face is smooth once again and now it's easier to see the bruises and marks on his skin. I touch one of them softly and he flinches, probably unused to a gentle touch.
"They'll heal," he whispers.
"I'm sorry," I whisper back, feeling overwhelming guilt for putting him through all of that. If it weren't for me, he never would have had to go back there.
"It's not your fault. It was my choice," he answered and I could see he didn't blame me at all.
"I could have stopped them I could have gotten you out or something," I protest. He shakes his head, knowing as I do that it would have been impossible for me to breach Manticore on my own.
"It's not your fault Max. I did it because I had to." He leans back on the bed and I lay down next to him on my side, watching him. There is something in his eyes that I don't want to see.
"You're leaving," I whisper and I don't know if I can handle that, not again. Not now.
"I have to, I checked in with the contact number, but I still need to head down to check on Xane. I haven't seen him in a long time," he replies.
"I'm coming with you," I reply instantly.
"No, you can't," he says just as quickly. He is adamant, but so am I.
"I don't care if it's risky. Like staying in Seattle isn't? You have to trust me more, Zack, all of us. We're your family, we all have to take care of each other. We're not brothers and sisters obviously, but we're something just as tight and just as important. We all need to see each other, Zack," I tell him, desire to see them all again shining brightly in my eyes. He hesitates, not ready to give up what he had gone by for 10 years so quickly.
"A lot of things are changing, Zack, this needs to be one of them," I say firmly. He nods, though not completely willingly or sure. I know it means I can come with him. Not that I can coordinate a X5 reunion, though, that will come later.
"So we'll leave tomorrow or the next day," he says and takes my hand like he did in the cave and squeezes it. I climb under the covers and relax, deciding that I will sleep after all and wake up tomorrow ready for changes I have waited forever for.
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As before I have ended it so it could go on or end here. As always I am not going to keep parts from you if you don't give me feedback it will all depend on if I have the motivation or inspiration to write a next part. Reviewing is however greatly appreciated, even if you just want to let me know it's horrible and you think I should never be allowed on a computer again.