Email: swythangel@hotmail.com
Title: Weißcracks
Type: 4/4, parody
Teaser: A parody of sorts that has been revolving around my head, Weiß boys vs Gundam Wing boys in lame attempt at humor.
Rating: PG
Spoilers:
Warnings: Shonen Ai, AU, cross-over
Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz is not mine…will never be mine but damn if that'll stop me from torturing their lives in my fics...Gundam Wing is also not mine…
Keywords: Weiß, Gundam Wing boys
Last part…last part! And then I'm going to go on with Gott! ^^
Real life sucks! It really does. I don't have time to write as many fics as I want to…or comment on fics too.sigh> Can I just say that everyone seems to be making great fics these days…glomps all WKFF writers>
Weißcracks
Part 4
Swythangel: After that long and lengthy commercial break, we are now at the last leg of our show. whispers to herself>Thank God! I don't think my nerves can take this anymore. turns back to everyone> Well, so far, we are at an impasse, Weiß tied with the Gundam Wing boys with 2 points apiece. For the last round we have adorable Wuffie-baby…
Wufei: interrupts>Wu Fei! Wu Fei! How many times must I tell you it is Wu Fei not Wuffie…you baka onna. You are making me out like that Final Fantasy 7 onna…and I am not an onna. huffs and glares> And I am not adorable. Dangerous, yes, but adorable? Definitely not.
Swythangel: Wu Fei! Alrighty, Wuffie-baby!
Wufei: rants> Wu Fei! Wu Fei!
Swythangel: Wuffie! Wuffie! giggles>
Duo: Leave her be, Wu-man! pronounces it as 'woman'> Or we'll never finish this show.
Wufei: glares Duo>And I am not Wu-man! Not an onna! You are as bad as she is, Maxwell.
Quatre: Yameru, you guys! This is giving me a headache.
Meanwhile on the Weiß end…
Ken: Hey guys, we have to cough up another person or we're dead meat.
Youji: rolls eyes>Trust Ken to point out the obvious.
Aya: who will never cease to try and get at Ken's good side since he is still an Exiled Couch Boy> You can't talk about Ken like that.
Ken: Oh stop it Aya. I can see right through you and you still stay on the couch. grins>But it was nice of you to defend me. kisses Aya's cheek ^-^v. Aya pulls Ken in for a kiss on the mouth.>
Omi: Heya! Stop that! There are single people here you know. whispers to self>or at least supposedly single people thinks about Nagi in the audience while typing in his laptop>
Youji: Yeah! Omi's right. You're acting like a bunch of horny rabbits on national television…grunts and whispers>Besides, if Youji doesn't get any, no one should get any either.
Ken pulls away from Aya>
Aya: blushing, throws a disappointed look>Ahem…so ah, Omi, any possible back-ups?
Omi: Well, I've run through the possibilities.
Ken: beams at Omi>That's our Omi!
Youji: And?
Omi: There's Schwartz an…
Youji: interrupts Omi in midsentence>No! Iie! Nyet! thinks of Schu and shudders>NO way no how are we bringing in Schwartz.
Ken and Omi exchange grins>
Omi: Well you haven't let me finish yet Youji-kun…types some more> There's also…hesitates and pulls a face>nah, I don't think you'll want them.
Aya: Any port in a storm, Omi. Spill it.irritated glance at the back of Omi's head. He's just a teensy tiny bit irritated because his kiss with Ken had been interrupted. And since it had been, he has now gone back to leader mode and is impatient to get on with the mission, er, I mean show>
Omi: worried glance>Are you sure? I wouldn't recommend…
All three: Just spill it, Omi!
Youji: Or you'll get grounded far worse…
Omi: resigned look>Schreint.
All three: horrified look> NO! Over our dead bodies!
Youji: Bring even one of the annoying banshees in and I will personally ground you for the rest of eternity.
Aya: Hn. which translated from Aya-nese would mean "me too">
Ken: blinks>On second thought, over their dead bodies…they're dead already. How will you get them here…Not that I want to get them here.
Omi: shrugs>Well, don't ask me, its what my laptop says.
Youji: scratches head>How so?
everyone wonders about that and stops to think thereby taking precious time out from the game>an irritated CG of Swythangel pops out of the laptop's screen>
Swythangel: Will you guys just get on with it…I put them there. Any objections? pixelated glare>
All four: sweatdrops>Uh no, none at all.
Ken: Uh, Swyth-chan? looks at CG Swythangel and real Swythangel. All four are wondering how she did it but only Ken gets the courage to ask>How can you be in two places at once?
Swythangel: Ahoho! goes into her omnipotent mode> I am the end all and be all of your universe. In this fic, I rule! Because I'm the writer and what I say goes! Now get on with it.
Youji: shakes head and sighs>She's really going overboard with that drunk with power routine.
Swythangel: pixelated suspicious look>Did I hear what I thought I heard Yotan?
Youji: blinding smile> Hell yes, Swyth-chan. But I mean that in the most adorable sense of the word, ne?
Swythangel: Wai wai! knows Yotan is just trying to manipulate her but still gives in to the urge to beam at him> You're adorable Youji-kun! And if I could, I'd give Kenken over to you instead of Aya-kun. Ahohoho!
Ken: sweatdrops>
muted mutters of "Injustice. The onna is distinctly unfair. When I say she is drunk with power, she dunks me in water. When *they* say she's drunk with power, she beams at them. Injustice!">
Aya: deathglare at CG Swythangel and holds Ken possessively> HN! translated from Aya-nese…don't you dare!>
Swythangel: Ignores Aya> Which reminds me, you guys should decide now because we're running out of time.
Aya: glares at Swyth-chan one more time before turning to Omi>Are there other choices, Omi?
Omi: Er, two more…there's the Crashers…Knight would be good…hopeful tone>
Ken: interrupts, shouting> NO! Absolutely not.
Aya: was about to nod assent to Omi when Ken reacted. Thinking it prudent not to continue lest his exile gets longer, he stays quiet. But then he always stays quiet so its no biggie, really>
Youji: raises brows> Look Ken, I realize that Aya has a past with the guy but past is past don't you think? And he'll only be here for 10 minutes or less. Just enough for him to win this.
Ken: No! juts chin out stubbornly>
Omi: Youji-kun is right, Ken-kun. Don't you want to win this?
Ken: No no no! We can lose this for all I care. I don't want to see him in the same room as Aya.rants>
Omi: looks at silent Aya who is trying to blend in with the wall but since he has striking hair (Aya: Curse this red hair!), he stands out like a sore thumb instead ^o^> Aya-kun?
Aya: Hn translated, still means Hn because Aya doesn't know what to say> -_-;
Youji: Yeah, Oh Great Leader. You have the final say after all…
Aya: thinks to himself>Oh damn it! Trapped between a rock and a hard place. What do I do? Get Knight here and the probability of winning increases…but I probably will stay on the couch forever. As a leader, I should think about finishing this mission, I mean winning this game for our honor but then…sweatdrops and looks at glaring Ken>of course our silent assassin cannot resist his koi anymore than Trowa can resist Quatre (Trowa: //_-;) so…> Damn it all! Ken wins.sighs>What's the last option, Omi?
Ken throws himself against his koi in delight> Aya! Koi! Forget the couch.
Aya almost expires in delight and hugs Ken tighter>
Trowa: sulks and thinks to himself>That is so unfair. Now I'm the only Exiled Couch Boy left. hopes that he gets a same chance with Quatre, after all it wasn't fun being the only Exiled Couch Boy and Heero didn't count since his exile was only for one day>
Swythangel: Oi oi! Will someone separate the two before this turns PG! snaps fingers to separate Aya and Ken>sighs and shakes head>As much as I'd like you two to get together…this isn't the time or place ne? Behave, children!
Omi: sighs> There goes the game right down the drain just because Aya-kun wanted to make Ken-kun happy…shakes head mournfully>
Youji: pats Omi's head and shrugs>Well that's the way the ball rolls, Omiitchi.
Aya: still beaming, looks at Omi> Well, send word to the last option then. Tell him/her to get here as fast as he can.
Omi: I've already e-mailed him. He's coming as soon as possible. hears screeching brakes>In fact there he is now. grins>
Everyone cranes their necks to see who it is. They see polished leather shoes, a three-piece suit worthy of even Brad's jaded scrutiny…>
Brad: pops in from oblivion>Hey! I resent being called jaded.
Swyth-chan: Oh, shut up Bradley. You aren't supposed to be here.shoves Brad back into oblivion> And besides, its true.
Anyway back to the stranger… expensive three-piece suit and…>everyone falls on the floor>
Wufei: incredulous shout>Nani?
Gwing boys: Is this suppose to be a joke?
Omi: groans>O man! And I'm supposed to be related to him…
Aya: glares at Omi, forgets to use Aya-nese in his agitation>What is the meaning of this?
Ken: Er, who's under the paper bag?
Youji: Yeah, Omiitchi…who or what is that?
Omi: blinks innocently>I would have thought you'd all know by know…hellooo! Man in the shadows, man without a face? Or do you need two girls in the shortest minis you can find just to recognize who this is.rolls eyes>Honestly…
All Weiß boys stare astounded.>
Everyone: P….P…Persia?
Omi: grins and nods> Bullseye!
Ken: B…but why is he wearing a paper bag on his head?
Youji: Yeah, of all the stupidest gimmicks…
Aya: Hn. back to Aya-nese translations: stupid>
Omi: shakes head and glares> Why ask me?
Youji: arches brow>Well he *is* your uncle, isn't he?
Omi: Well, just because we're related doesn't mean I know what he's thinking…why don't you guys ask him! points to Persia who has now come within hearing range>
Persia: muffled voice booms out of the paper bag which resembles a mask with holes for the nose, eyes and mouth> Weiß! Today I hunt down the dark beasts of tomorrow with you. I, Persia, your great leader, will win this for sure. You need not fear.
All of Weiß sweatdrops>
Youji: Hey Boss-man. Before you start, can you tell us just why you have a paper bag on your head?
Persia: Why…so my identity can be protected of course! Are you stupid or something, Balinese?
Ken: Anou… everyone already knows who you are…I mean didn't Takatori uncover your disguise before?
Omi: chirps in>Yeah, Unc. And you told me you were Persia too.
Persia: I did? No you are trying to fool me into showing my face. I do not recall any such thing. bulb appears in front of his face>If that is true then why don't you tell me what I look like…
Everyone even fangirls in the audience>: You're a brunette and you have glasses and whiskers!
Persia: sweatdrops> Ahoho! takes paper bag off his face> So you all do know the great Persia.
Everyone sweatdrops>
Omi: shoves face into hands in embarrassment>There are times I wish I never found out I was related to Takatoris…Dear God, why inflict me with such a dysfunctional family…mad scientists, megalomaniacs…and now…
Ken: pats Omi> Daijobu Omi-kun.
Youji: snickers> Careful there Omi, research says all weirdness are hereditary…
Ken: sharply>Youji! glares daggers at Youji while a flying chair hits Youji>
Aya: looks around suspiciously muttering "Schwartz">
Wufei: Desist with this insane carnival show and let us get on with it. You profane your family's honor with such a scene.
Swythangel: sighs>I hate to admit it but Wuffie-baby ignored angry outbursts of " Its Wufei! Shimatta! Wufei!"> is right. Let's get on with it shall we?
Persia: Of course. I, the Great Persia, leader of Kritiker, will hunt down this dark beast of tomorrow.
Duo: Silly old coot. And what does he mean dark beast of tomorrow. Wu-man isn't dark.
Heero: Hn. In heero-nese it is…hn. -_- yes, hn means hn no matter how you look at it>
Quatre: quirks a mouth up in amusement> I think he's amusing.
Duo: dryly>You would, Q-man.
Swythangel: Quiet, will you! draws envelope>blinks>Heavens looks pityingly at Persia>, I don't think Persia-san can do this…looks at judges>Can't we change the task?
Announcer: No. Rules are rules.
Wufei: nods head heartily>Yes, justice must prevail.
Announcer: And besides, we don't have time left.
Swythangel: sticks tongue out at Wufei>Alright. All-out battle. First one to fall to the ground loses.
Duo: Sugoi!! Wu-man definitely will win.
All Gwing boys can't help but smile and nod in agreement.>
Wufei: quietly>No. This is injustice. How can I fight against an old man. I refuse to fight him.crosses arms>
Duo: Whhhaaaaatt? Wu-man! Come on…you can't let us down..
Quatre: Wufei is right Duo. It is unfair.
Duo: mutters.Remind me to stick you and Wu-man in a tub of water one of these days, Q-man…
Swythangel: Awww,,,,,glomps Wufei>Wu-chan! That is so sweet.
Wufei: disgusted voice>Let go you onna! I did not do it for you.
Persia: Does the rules say anything about accessories?
Announcer: No…you can bring any accessory you would wish.
Persia: Well, boy looks at Wufei> Don't worry about me, with my accessories, I'll be more than a match for any red-blooded bisexual Chinese…
Wufei: looks surprise>How did you know I was bisexual…
Persia: booming laugh>I am Persia, I know everything…and everything includes Sally Po and Trieze…
Wufei: angry look>This is injustice! How dare you snoop into my private life? I am ready to take you on anytime, old man! steps into the battle ring that mysteriously appeared in the middle of the stage>
Duo: Alright Wu!
Persia: steps into the ring too>Just let me call someone on my cellfone then…dials and talks in a muffled voice…>
Aya: narrows eyes>What is he up to…
Omi: No….
Youji: Is he going to do what I think he's going to do?
Ken: It sure looks that way…
Announcer: Ready…get set…go!
Wufei charges Persia>Persia just stands by calmly>
Persia: Beam them down Scotty!
in the background>Youji: Beam them down Scotty? What the fu…that's such a corny line!
and right in front of Wufei materializes Manx and Birman in the shortest set of minis you can find, flashing their tushies at our beloved red-blooded Chinese boy>
Wufei: Wha? nosebleeds and falls to the ground in a faint>
Announcer: And Chang Wufei is down for the count. Weiß wins!
Duo: shakes head>Damn it! How could Wuman do that to us? rants and fumes> When he comes to, I am going to yank his pony tail so hard his forehead is going to recede another inch.
Heero: Hn. yes, it still means Hn but it's a fearful Hn>
Trowa: Now Duo…commisserates with Wufei's forehead>
Quatre: Simmer down, Duo, you can't really blame Wufei for losing…
Duo: Who said anything about losing…I mean the fact about him being bi! I always thought he was straight…and here he was also gay…
Gwing boys sweatdrop as one>
Ken: jumps into the air> We win! We win!
Omi: Yatta ne!
Youji: grins>Well, I guess this means party!!!!
Duo: perks up>Party? Did anyone say party?
Omi: Quatre-kun, you guys are invited of course…
Quatre: Arigato, Omi-san! grins>
Swythangel: Awww….
a microphone flies towards Quatre, deftly caught by Trowa>
Trowa: Daijobu, Quatre-koi?
Quatre: Aa. But you're still on the couch, Trowa.
Trowa: long suffering sigh>
At the party….
Omi is teaching Quatre-kun how to play Quake 3 and other PC games…if you look hard enough you can see a jealous Nagi throwing dagger glares at Quatre-kun's back.
Youji is hitting on both Manx and Birman and looking over his shoulders for any sign of Schuldich.
Duo is trying to lure Aya (who does not notice him in the least) while Ken-kun is trying to block Duo. (Careful Ken-kun or you might end up with Duo)
Aya, Heero and Trowa sit on a couch talking in Aya-nese, Heero-nese and Trowa-nese…which mostly consists of Hns and a liberal helping of "……….". The two ex-couch boys are helping Trowa cope with impending exile on the couch.
And Wuffie-baby? Well Swyth-chan is still trying to revive him from the shock…and is that all she's doing? Ahohohoho!>
So that is how our tale ends…a bit abrupt and definitely rushed.
Trowa: B…bbbb…bbut I'm still exiled on the couch!
Swythangel: Tough luck, Tro-chan! But I'm having too much fun with Omiitchi and Quatre…bright idea> Want a Nagi instead?
Trowa: …..
OWARI ^_~
Ok it is really abrupt and not as funny in the end ne? Gomen gomen…
Oh oh…maybe you guys think I hate Wuffie-baby ne? Truth is I don't! I love Wuffie-baby. I even told my friend Mfie-chan that if Wuffie-chan was a real person, I'dve grabbed em and married em by now. Ahohoho! That'd satisfy my traditional Chinese parents, I'm sure! ^o^
Comments are still welcome…big big
glomp for people with comments.