Batman: The Drunken Dark Knight Returns IIIII
Batman. When we hear this name, we think of a menacing, frightening figure who
fights under the cover of darkness. A winged warrior. A caped crusader. This was
soooooo not one of his better moments.
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Batman pinched Catwoman's ass. She shrieked and bumped her head on the top of
the duct. "Batman, you fucking asshole! You want us to get caught?!"
"Hey, this space is pretty small. You know, we could-" started Batman.
"Don't say anything. Just go."
Soon, Catwoman and the drunken dark knight were staring into the room holding the
enemy from their stuffy area of the air duct.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!!! Soon I, the Joker, will have all the pornographic
material in Gotham!!!" laughed the Joker.
"And I'll have a new bunch of plants!!" laughed Poison Ivy.
"And I'll... do sumthin' else!!!" laughed Harley.
Catwoman spoke up. "Okay, so we'll wait until the joker drops his guard, then..."
"PARTY!!!" screamed Batman, falling out of the vent and pulling Catwoman down
with him. The crashed into the middle of the room.
"Batman!! You came!" yelled Alex Trebek with joy.
"Batman!! You came!" yelled the Joker with contempt.
Poison Ivy glared angrily at Batman. "Weeds of obscene evil! Get him!" she ordered.
The living weeds sprang at Batman. As he desperately tried to stumble out of the line
of fire, they wrapped themselves around his body and began squeezing the final
breathes out of him.
"Must-stop-weeds. Can't-hold-on. Must-stop-talking-in-weird-voice," spout Batman
with what little breath he had. He looked at the last beer in his hand.
"This'll be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I must do it. For
FOOOOOBBBBBBIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Batman, splashing the alcoholic substance all
over the weeds. They cringed and turned bezerk-like.
"MORE BEER!" they yelled. Batman smiled.
"You can have more beer if you capture Poison Ivy, the Joker, and Harley Quinn."
The weeds turned on their master and wrapped around the three villains. Batman
smiled. Catwoman wasn't so happy. "I didn't even get to do anything."
"Hey, Gotham's Batman's drill, baby," the now semi-indisposed dark knight smiled.
Then his eyes popped open. He bent down and whispered to one of the weeds'
tendrils. It snaked over and tore Catwoman's costume off.
Everyone laughed. "Oh Batman, you crazy guy," smiled Catwoman, trying to cover
herself.
"Now, who wants to have some fun?" asked Batman. Everyone raised their hand.
"Good. Cause I got a plan."
WHAT IS BATMAN'S CRAZY PLAN? FIND OUT IN THE EPILOGUE!!!!!!
Batman. When we hear this name, we think of a menacing, frightening figure who
fights under the cover of darkness. A winged warrior. A caped crusader. This was
soooooo not one of his better moments.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Batman pinched Catwoman's ass. She shrieked and bumped her head on the top of
the duct. "Batman, you fucking asshole! You want us to get caught?!"
"Hey, this space is pretty small. You know, we could-" started Batman.
"Don't say anything. Just go."
Soon, Catwoman and the drunken dark knight were staring into the room holding the
enemy from their stuffy area of the air duct.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!!! Soon I, the Joker, will have all the pornographic
material in Gotham!!!" laughed the Joker.
"And I'll have a new bunch of plants!!" laughed Poison Ivy.
"And I'll... do sumthin' else!!!" laughed Harley.
Catwoman spoke up. "Okay, so we'll wait until the joker drops his guard, then..."
"PARTY!!!" screamed Batman, falling out of the vent and pulling Catwoman down
with him. The crashed into the middle of the room.
"Batman!! You came!" yelled Alex Trebek with joy.
"Batman!! You came!" yelled the Joker with contempt.
Poison Ivy glared angrily at Batman. "Weeds of obscene evil! Get him!" she ordered.
The living weeds sprang at Batman. As he desperately tried to stumble out of the line
of fire, they wrapped themselves around his body and began squeezing the final
breathes out of him.
"Must-stop-weeds. Can't-hold-on. Must-stop-talking-in-weird-voice," spout Batman
with what little breath he had. He looked at the last beer in his hand.
"This'll be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I must do it. For
FOOOOOBBBBBBIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Batman, splashing the alcoholic substance all
over the weeds. They cringed and turned bezerk-like.
"MORE BEER!" they yelled. Batman smiled.
"You can have more beer if you capture Poison Ivy, the Joker, and Harley Quinn."
The weeds turned on their master and wrapped around the three villains. Batman
smiled. Catwoman wasn't so happy. "I didn't even get to do anything."
"Hey, Gotham's Batman's drill, baby," the now semi-indisposed dark knight smiled.
Then his eyes popped open. He bent down and whispered to one of the weeds'
tendrils. It snaked over and tore Catwoman's costume off.
Everyone laughed. "Oh Batman, you crazy guy," smiled Catwoman, trying to cover
herself.
"Now, who wants to have some fun?" asked Batman. Everyone raised their hand.
"Good. Cause I got a plan."
WHAT IS BATMAN'S CRAZY PLAN? FIND OUT IN THE EPILOGUE!!!!!!