Preamble:
Chapter 8
I've never written long texts in English, and this is my first try to write a fan fiction.
Feel free to send any comment, suggestion, flame, job opportunity etc. etc.
About the crap I write.. even if EBJ ( the evafiction's Space Black God ) helps me a lot, starting from the pile of trash that is my draft, some errors could escape, so you are advised...
Just now, I'm happy to add to the active roster of pre-readers Tsu. He will help me pointing to conflicts in my stories and making suggestions.
The poor EBJ will still deal with my errors, so be nice and write to him, will ya? :)
In the end, if you like ToT, thank them as well, so I can continue writing...
r.giammancodatastudio.it
ebj.nervflasnet.it
minynkitozemail.com.au
One last note: My home page is on http://members.xoom.com/fantasticare.
I know I said I wouldn't use Xoom, Geocities or similar things, but, due to technical reasons, my provider can't accept home page for a while, so..
In this page, heavy under construction, you can find the revised version of my fics. Jump on it, and drop me a line if you like it.
Well, Take a seat, and enjoy yourselves.
And, for God-sake, try to write fanfictions! It is one of the funniest and Interesting thing to do! But do it only if you can really write a good English, Otherwise you will be the despair of your pre-readers!
Reencounters/Why do you have to suffer?
R.Giammanco
AKA X-Ray
Rei was standing on the top of a small hill, far away from the station where she got off the train. Near her there was a phone. It was just inside the park. She was wondering what was the right thing to do. She could see in the distance the hospital and the main streets leading to it. It was in the middle of the park, while she was along its borderline. She was sure they were expecting her near it. The commander would've given order to retrieve her. Forcing her? Would they harm her? She felt her stomach growling in pain. She was hungry, very hungry. With the Major she had had only a sandwich.. She gritted her teeth, and started to walk in the park: it was full of pines, it was like a little forest. She took a strange direction, she was not pointing directly towards the hospital, but rather to the big armament building that there was behind and right of it..
It was about 21:30..
...
Finally Misato dried her eyes, and stood up, looking sadly at Shinji.. He was under pain-killers.. so he wouldn't be able to awake until tomorrow.. She bent down and kissed him on his fore-head: "Sweet dreams.. My little Shinji.. My little hero..". She caressed his hair, and ran outside sobbing..
When she got to the waiting room, it was about 22:00.. 'It's very late.. I must bring them at home, and then come back here, to watch over him..'
When Hikari spotted her, she ran to her and started to whisper into her ear, while Kensuke was trying to distract Asuka showing her his old scar on the leg, the outcome of one of his solitary trips.
Hik: "Major ! Major! Listen to me carefully: Asuka is amnesic! She can't remember anything! I told her I was a friend of hers and that Kensuke was her brother. I told also Shinji was a friend of ours and that you were his mother.. I told her that her parents were aboard, that they lived in my house alone. I also told that Shinji fell on a glass."
Misato looked at her in disbelief: 'Asuka? She doesn't remember..' After looked at Hikari and Kensuke with an accusatory glance, that was clearly saying:'What the hell were you two thinking?' Then she realized something else:' Well.. This is pure luck.. one less problem to deal with just now..'
All this in 50.000 micro-seconds.
She approached to Asuka, while Kensuke was telling her who was that woman: "Hello, Asuka. I'm sorry to hear you got an amnesia.."
Asuka looked her with a strange gaze.. It was like she was trying to focus better her figure.. Like she was finding a glimpse of her old memories.. but she wasn't able. She wasn't able because she'd never seen a Misato with red eyes, still full of tears, her face a little red, her expression a mix of pain and sadness..
Asu: "..I'm sorry about your son.."
Misato eyes widened.. That word.. son.. could a son exist without a mother? And, it was clear in the words of Asuka that the mother was her, Misato. Mother.. Being Shinji's mother, this thought caused a stream of emotions inside her.. she felt like her heart was breaching through her lungs...through her entire chest.. She started again crying, and bent down on her, hugging her.. "Oh.. Thank you.. Thank you.. Asuka.. Thanks.. Thanks.."
She was a bit startled.. She guessed that mother was very worried about her son.. 'I wonder.. how my mother is.. I don't remember her face.. I'd like she was like her..' So she returned for a bit the hug.. until Misato stood up, drying again her eyes, and walking towards the door: "Come on, guys, I'm bringing you back home."
Hikari ran to her, to remind her that she had to bring them to her home, while Kensuke pushed Asuka's chair.
Asu: ".."
"He is lucky to have a mother like her.."
Ken: "Yes. You're right.."
Asu: "How is our mother?"
Ken: "Well.. She is just like her.. she is very sweet to us.."
'I wish I knew what a mother is.. but I've never had one..'
He looked sad, and Asuka turned to face him but he didn't notice her. She looked at him for a bit, until she saw his eyes watering.. She sat straight in the chair and sighed.. "Do you miss her?"
Ken: "Yuh?"
Asu: "Do you miss mom?"
Ken: "Yes.. I miss her a lot.."
'You can't imagine how much..'
Asu: "Maybe we could phone her once will be at home.."
Ken: "Maybe.."
They arrived at the parking area; Kensuke and Hikari sat in the back seats, while Misato put Asuka in the side seat. Then she drove towards Hikari's old house.. Nobody spoke.. Asuka looked at the raindrops.. And watching them.. she fell asleep.. Misato, in fact, was driving very slow.. But no-one was after them. All the Nerv Security was circling the hospital.. waiting for its prey..
When they arrived at destination, Asuka was put in Hikari's room, because she knew it well , Kensuke lied on the couch, while Hikari, after a phone call to her parents, was preparing a coffee for the Major..
Hik: "..Major.."
Misato sighed: "I've already told you to call me Misato.."
Hik: "..Misato.. you look tired.. Why don't you rest a little? An hour.. I'll wake you.."
Mis: "..No.. I want to come back to the hospital as soon as possible.."
Hik: ".."
After an hour, Misato was sleeping on a chair put close to the left side of the bed, next to Shinji, her left hand holding his right wrist..
...
The park's animals were very afraid that night.. They seemed to sense some strange danger in the hair.. There was a strange being walking, running, jumping, they couldn't say, in the deep of the trees.. between the branches, along the trunks.. Some times, you could see like a blurred red line moving in the darkness, making no noise.. Some of the Nerv guards, positioned in the back of the hospital, sensed a shiver crossing their spine, like a drop in the surrounding temperature.. they didn't report anything, because they thought it was their imagination.. So, while Commander Ikari was standing in a little room near Terminal dogma, a strange shadow arrived to the back wall of the hospital. It fond an open door leading to the thermal unit, and disappeared inside it. It moved in the dark, helped by the time: 2:00 am. It was like it was jumping from a dark corner to another, crossing the walls and the persons.. It seemed it was looking for something or someone.. and it was like.. it was following some strange track.. Finally, a room's door silently opened.. It was strange, because nobody was ever able to do it in the same way.. And the shadow quickly entered, closing the door behind it. In the room, there was a night-light, casting a gentle light cover over a body, lying on the bed.. The body resting here was partially bandaged, at least the sheets let see his chest entirely wrapped.. He was breathing normally, with no external aid. He had only a IV in his left arm. Near to him, his right side, there was a woman, sleeping too. She was holding his right wrist with her left hand..
Coming from the dark close to the walls.. like it was materializing just now, a leg came under the soft light.. then another, and finally an entire figure was standing by the bed, the woman to her left. From under the baseball hat, a couple of red eyes were intensely watching the sleeping boy.. A hand approached his face.. only to be pulled back to dry it on the sheets..
Then..
That hand softly touched his cheek.. circled his nose, draw his eyes.. followed his mouth's curvature.. The fingers explored all his face, his chin, his hair..
Then they were pulled back. stood there for what could have been an eternity.. Finally.. the figure pulled out her hat, dropping it on the sheet. Blue hair was now clearly visible. She bent down slowly.. slowly approaching his face.. until she was only a few centimeters from his.. She stood here, breathing slowly, feeling boy's breath over her face.. after a bit, it looked like they were breathing in unison, and then, she pressed gently her lips over his. It was a gentle touch, but it lasted for an eternity.. it was like time was frozen.. like nobody was breathing, moving, living.. It was like a benevolent superior entity had stopped the time, blessing those moments and the two kids.
Finally, she drew herself back, and stood again over him.
"I love you, Shinji."
She turned to face the Major. She looked at her, at her hand. She looked uncomfortable in that position, so she pushed her a bit against the chair so she could sit better.
Finally she looked around. She saw a towel, and took it. She undressed, put her wet clothes over the curtain in the shower, wrapped herself in the towel, picked up a chair and put it near the Major's. She sat, and put her head over Misato's shoulder, as if to sustain her with her body.
"You care about him. You aren't like his father: you know your feelings and aren't afraid of expressing them."
She finally drifted into a deep sleep.
...
The next morning, Gendo found himself in a strange room room. It seemed like someone had put it in order and cleaned it: the machines were turned on and making diagnostics test, while all the tools were put in order.. Gendo didn't awake alone.. It was the sound of someone coming in that awaked him: doctor Akagi was gazing him from the door. She was a bit better than yesterday: she was in her old attire: blue shirt, black mini-skirt, her lab coat, hands hidden in the side-pockets. There was something strange, tough: her hair was completely brown, and she didn't have any lipstick on her lips. Gendo stood, and put his hands behind his back, to press on his vertebrae..
Rit: "Good morning, Commander."
Gen: "..."
Rit: "I guess you had the dirty work done for me. Why didn't you order someone else?"
Gen: "You know well how many people can enter this room. With Fuyutsuki in the USA, there are only two of them. You can start examining data from that console. You won't be able to damage nothing. I can assure you I removed personally all your back-doors and short-cuts."
Rit: "But I helped creating and maintained the Magi.."
Gen: "An artificial intelligence isn't able to be loyal to some one. Keep it in mind."
Rit: "...I will."
Gendo left: "Good work."
Rit: "..."
He got to his office, where he asked for a quick breakfast. He finally looked at the clock: 10:00 am.
He dialed a number: "Tell me."
"..."
"I see. Her last known position?"
"..."
"Have you put someone inside the hospital?"
"..."
"I see. Don't make a move, I'm coming."
...
In the hospital, a nurse entered the boy's room about 7:30, to check her patient.. What she found startled her a bit.. It wasn't uncommon that a familiar was allowed to pass the night near a relative.. but there were two persons.. one wrapped in a towel! She was going to awake them, when she saw them better.. They were sleeping so peacefully, so.. she couldn't find the courage to break that atmosphere.. She silently checked the boy's condition, and silently went away.
After a bit.. The pain-killers' effect faded, and Shinji could feel again a pain in his right shoulder.. He awoke, looking at an unfamiliar ceiling. He could say he was in a hospital..
'Strange..', looking at the walls, 'there are no Nerv signs.. what could it mean ?'. He tried to sit on the bed, but the pain was too much..
Only then she saw Misato.. 'Misato? What is she doing here? And.. Why am I here?' He turned to look at the ceiling, to try to remember the facts that were occurred..
'What was I doing? I remember.. I remember I was with Kensuke.. He told me strange things.. There was class rep too..' Finally, like a film running four time his normal velocity, he saw all the past, and he bolted straight in bed. The pain was immense, and he turned his head over the injured shoulder, trying desperately to not shout in pain.. The he sensed something on his hand.. Looking at it, he saw Misato hand, still firmly circling his wrist..
He, under an incredible pain like someone was tearing his arm off, smiled.
'Thanks.. Thanks.. Misato.. I.. I think.. I could think of you like a mother.. a strange and young mother, to tell the truth..' tears were running over his cheeks.. a mix of happiness and pain.. He dried his eyes, and gently tried to open Misato's hand, when he saw something else.. Over Misato right shoulder there was something.. something blue..
He bent forward to see better.. There was indeed Rei, wrapped in a towel, a little one, gently sleeping..
Shinji keep looking at her for a bit. 'Does she care about me too?... But.. she must feel cold! Why is she dressed like that?' He looked around, until his gaze fell trough the bathroom's door on some clothes.. that things resembled his clothes.. He looked down to himself, finding himself, like usually, partially naked, only wrapped in the usual hospital gown. He sighed: 'more nurses had their fun removing my clothes..' But this thought reminded him of the good doctor Kusanagi and of the nice nurse Koraki.. 'What happened to them? They are still in the hand of my ..'
He shuddered at the thought and braced himself with his good arm, bending forward, mental pain adding to the physical one. After a bit, he was able to free himself from all the dark thoughts that crossed his mind in an instant, and came back to stare at those clothes.. 'They look like they are mine, but I'm sure I was wearing something else yesterday.. And why are they hanging from there ?'
He managed to break free form Misato's grip, and managed to get off the bed. He was becoming used to his injury: it was sufficient to not move his right arm. He went in the bathroom, and looked at the clothes: They were wet..
'That's strange..' He turned to look at Misato: She was dressed normally..
'They must be Rei's.. But why did she use my clothes?'
He looked at her.. It wasn't a good place where to sleep.. and Misato was uncomfortable too.. But what he could do? He went by the bed, grabbed the sheets and put them over the couple, paying attention to cover especially Rei, she was almost naked, with only a towel wrapped around herself..
He looked down at the couple, and said: "Thank you. Thank you for caring."
Then he left quietly the room..
He wandered in the corridor thinking.. 'What happened after I fainted? I could wake Misato or Rei.. but It wouldn't be nice.. I'm worried about Asuka.. But the fact that I'm not in the Nerv section of the hospital is a good sign.. Maybe father let us go.. I can try to phone home.. but I don't have my phone and no phone card either... Maybe in the pants Rei borrowed I could find something useful..'
He went back in the room and checked the pants' pocket. He found a phone, an agenda and a wallet.. 'They must be Ayanami's.. I guess I can borrow some money to make a call..'
Like Kensuke and Hikari the evening before, he too didn't feel like spending somebody else's cell phone credit...
He left the room and found a phone in the near corridor. He dialed his home's number, but no one answered. That made him think.. 'That's no good.. But I think they are fine.. Otherwise Misato wouldn't be here.. She's not so irresponsible..' He thought were they could be.. Kensuke's house was down, but Hikari's old one was still up.. But he had never phoned to her before...
Fortunately, there was a phone book under the phone, so he could check her number..
Unfortunately, there were more than 50 Horakis..
He sighed looking down at the few coins he had borrowed..
..
It was 8:00 when Kensuke was abruptly awaken by a loud ring. It seemed like in that house there was only one phone, to control his usage, so its ring was put to the maximum.. Well, the poor Kensuke was sleeping on the couch, just beside it..
He fell off the couch, nearly stomping on his glasses.. finally he picked up the phone.. "Ye.. Hello?"
Shi: "Kensuke! Is that you, Kensuke?"
Kensuke had the mind still dazed, so he needed a few seconds to restart his engine.. "Shinji? Shinji! Oh, god! How I'm happy to hear your voice! How are you!" He was yelling, and these sounds awaked the other two girls..
Shi: "Be quiet! I only have two ears, you know?"
Ken: "It's the wrong time for the jokes, Shinji! Tell me, how are you?"
Shi: "Well, I guess.. I have all my chest bandaged, and I awoke in an hospital's bed.. Tell me, where is Asuka ? Is she there with you?"
Ken: "Yeah! Don't worry she's here with Hikari, we are all well!"
Hikari popped out of her room, still in her night dress, and grabbed the phone: " Ikari! Ikari! Are you really alright?"
Shi: "Oh, class rep.. Thank you, I'm alright.. Well.. at least I think.."
Kensuke grabbed again the phone and was about to speak again, when he saw in the mirror in front of him Asuka slowly emerging from Hikari's room..
Ken: ".. Erh.. Well.. My sister is alright.. well.. not really alright but she is close to it.."
Shi: "Sister? What are you rambling about, Kensuke ? Are you drunk?"
Ken: "Yeah, Yeah ! I know! They didn't even tell us she had an amnesia..."
Shi: "Whaaat?"
Ken: "I told you, she didn't even remember I was her brother !"
Shi: ".. I guess I understand.."
Ken: "I think it's better for now, so we can handle one thing at the time.. First we'll cure her body, and then we'll try to give her memories back to her.."
Shi: "..Ok.. For now, I count on you.."
Ken: "Shinji.. Have you seen Ayanami?"
Shi: "Uh? Yes.. of course.. she's in my room, sleeping with Misato.. why do you ask?"
Ken: "It's a long history.. I told her you were in the hospital, injured, and I think she ran to see you.. She was in your apartment yesterday, you know?"
Shi: "Really? Why?"
Ken: "I don't know.. Hikari's father phoned there and fond her. then she phoned to the Major and to me, and then I don't know anything more about her.."
Shi: "Well.. You know.. she got here wearing clothes of mine, all wet.. Is it a bit strange, don't you think?"
Ken: ".. Strange is an understatement.."
Shi: "..beep..beep.."
" oh, shit, I've only 5 yen left ! Kensuke, I'll wait for Misato and Rei to awake. See you soon."
Ken: "See you later!"
Dropping the phone, Kensuke stood thinking.. Then he raised his head, and looked around.. Hikari was nowhere to be seen, while Asuka was now sitting on the couch..
Asu: "Why didn't you sleep in your room, brother ?"
Ken: "Well.. I was very tired and I fell asleep here.."
Asu: ".."
Ken: "uh? Is something bothering you?"
Asu: ".. that person.."
Ken: "Which person?"
Asu: "Ayanami.."
Ken: "Yes?"
Asu: "Who is it?"
Ken: "Well.. she's another friend.."
Asu: "So it's a girl.."
Ken: "Yes, is there something wrong with it?"
Asu: "I don't know.. I think I've heard it before.."
Ken: "Of course! I told you she is a friend!"
Asu: "Well.. her name.. disturbs me.."
Ken: 'Okay ! Danger here!'
"Where the hell is Hikari! Class rep ! Where are you?"
Muffled from the distance, came her reply: "I'm in the kitchen ! Come here to eat the best breakfast you've ever had!"
Ken: "Wow! Did you hear that! Come on, sis ! It's time to eat!"
Asuka was pulled firmly but gently by Kensuke in the direction of the voice.. He was lucky she was still thinking about Ayanami, otherwise she would've noticed that he opened for tree times the wrong doors.. Finally, they got in the kitchen, where Hikari was cooking a huge number of pancakes with honey. There were biscuits, butter, milk and so on..
Hik: "Here ! Be my guests!"
Asuka was distracted by all that food, and asked innocently: "Do you let your guest to cook instead of you, brother?"
Hikari and Kensuke sweat-dropped, but Hikari fixed the things.. "You'll remember he isn't even able to heat a pot of milk.. So often I come to cook here.."
Asu: "Umh.."
Once they all sat at the table and started eating, Asuka, looking at the two teenagers who were clearly unease, dropped the N2 enhanced fragmentation final bomb: "Do you come here to see me, or to go after my brother?"
...
Shinji was wandering around, when a nurse ran to him and stopped him: "What do you think you are doing going around like that! Where do you come from?" She looked to his left wrist, reading a small note tied to it.. "Room 312.. Come with me." So she pulled him to his room. He entered asking when he would have something to eat.. "You'll have your breakfast at 8:45. Now go, Schnell!"
Shinji's right eyebrow twitched, but his mind refused to do the logical connections..
He entered the room, silently walking to the bed. Misato and Rei were still there, so he got on the bed again, and started thinking..
His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden ring: it seemed that Misato's phone was ringing.. He was wondering what to do, when Misato stretched her arm, and took the phone from her pocket..
Mis: "he.. Hello?"
"..oh.. It's you, Hyuga.."
"..."
"I don't care, Shinji is still stuck in the bed.."
She had, in fact, still her eyes almost closed..
".. I understand, but.."
"..."
".. Really ? Are you sure?"
"..."
"I have a bad feeling about it.."
"..." "Well.. I can ask Kensuke to come here and watch over him.. See you soon."
She closed the phone, and turned her head to look down at Shinji, finding him well awake and sitting on the bed, a broad smile on his face. She blinked many times, to fade the sleep from her vision, still thinking she was still dreaming..
Shi: "Good morning, Misato."
Mis: "S.. Shinji!"
She was about to throw herself to him, when she felt something on her right shoulder.. she turned to see only a mass of blue hair.. She wasn't able to think anything.. So Shinji spoke: "It's Rei. Could you lay her on the bed? I can't use my right arm.."
She turned to face him, then looked again at that head, not knowing well what to do.. Finally, she complied and stood up holding Rei,then lying her on the bed. Shinji grabbed the sheets and covered her.
Misato was about to speak again, when Shinji gestured her to leave the room..
Once outside..
Mis: "Shinji! Are you alright?"
Shi: "I'm fine for somebody who's been hit by a bullet..."
Mis: "But.. They told me.. you wouldn't be conscious for at least the night and the day after because of the pain-killers..."
Shi: "Well.. I suppose they were wrong.. The drugs have no longer effect.. If I move my right arm, I feel a great pain.. I guess I must wait for a doctor to come and see me.."
Mis: ".. And Rei? When did she come here? How did she know?"
Shi: "I've spoken to Kensuke.. He told her I was here.. She probably came and asked about me..."
Mis: "It's a bit strange.."
Shi: "Listen, Hyuga phoned to remind you of your duty, right?"
Mis: "Yeah.. If I think I could meet your father, I. I.."
Shinji looked serious at her: "Don't you remember what I told you some time ago? And, besides, he didn't shoot me, it was another person."
Mis: "Still.."
Shi: "Listen, before you leave, could you send Rei's clothes to dry? Maybe she came here under the rain and they are all wet.."
Mis: "Ok, give them to me."
Shi: "Follow me."
When Misato saw the clothes Shinji had told her about, she looked at him with a doubtful expression: "Did she wear these?"
Shinji nodded.
Mis: "Well.. I've bought her a lot of stuff, and she chooses these! Besides, why would she wear your clothes ?"
Shi: "I don't know. I'll ask her when she'll awake. Now go, or you'll be late."
Misato left, while Shinji sat in the chair next to the bed. He simply stood there wondering in the darkness..
Rei was having a peaceful dream, when she heard some strange sounds, metallic tinkling and similar things.. She opened her eyes.. only to see Shinji whispering to a nurse. She gave him a plate with some food, and she left. Shinji used his good arm to bring the plate on the table near the wall, and then headed to the bed. She closed her eyes and faked sleep. She could sense him on her side.. she felt his voice whispering.. "Rei.. Rei.. wake up..". She continued to fake sleep, with a little of more apprehension.. Shinji looked to the table.. a little trace of steam was visible on the darkness..
Shi: 'What can I do ? If she doesn't awake, she'll find the milk cold.. And I don't know where I can go to buy something to eat.. I don't even have any money with me, and I have used almost all of hers for finding Kensuke.. I guess I can't do anything..'
He covered the plate with a towel, and went back to his seat. He sat down and looked at the ceiling. After a bit, he felt a strange impression.. as if being observed... He looked with the corner of his left eye towards the bed.. First he didn't see anything.. she was covered up to her head by the sheets.. Then he lowered a bit his gaze, to look into a open spot left by the sheets.. It was very dark there.. The night-light wasn't able to reach there.. What he saw, was unexpected.. Two round circles, red as the blood, were fixed on him. he felt almost absorbed into that red, so dark.. so fearful, so live, so beautiful..
He shook his head and turned it to face the bed again. He found a full awake first children looking at him, sheets wrapped around her chest.
Shi: "Good morning, Rei."
Rei: "Good morning, Shinji."
Shi: 'Did I hear right? Did she call me by my name?' "I'm sorry I disturbed you.. but I wanted you to eat something warm for breakfast.. It's cold outside, and I'm worried about you.. You got here all wet.."
Rei was about to move, but he gestured her to stay there.
Shi: "No, stay under the sheets.. I'll go."
He stood and took the plate. He took a support and put all in front of the silent Rei.
Shi: "Here you are, please, eat it all."
Rei: "..."
Shi: "Don't you like it?"
Rei looked at him straight to his eyes: "Why are you giving this to me? It's your breakfast, not mine.".
Shinji smiled: "Yes, but I must thank you for your presence here. You could've caught a cold coming here under the rain.. And besides.. Your clothes are in the laundry just now, and so you won't be able to leave this room for a while.. I can always go out and find something to eat, even in my hospital gown, you cannot. Please, be my guest."
She turned to face the food.
Rei: "You're kind to me."
Shinji felt a strange atmosphere: "Well.. I do care for you, that's all."
She slowly ate. He stood there fixing her. He felt happy to stay near her. Watching her eating, so slowly and calmly relaxed him a lot. He lost himself looking at her nose, hair, eyes.. He'd found those eyes so strange at first.. now he knew why she had so strange somatic characteristics.. She was like Nagisa..
He turned his face suddenly, closing firmly his eyelids to not think..
Rei: "What does worry you, Shinji?"
He turned to face her: "Well.. I was thinking.. You have the same eyes than Nagisa.."
Rei: "You know why. You know I am not a human being. I am the resul"
Shinji couldn't stand it anymore, and pressed his good hand against her mouth, gently, but firmly: "Don't say anything else, Rei. I don't care."
She gently picked his hand, and held it in hers. "Shinji. You must be aware the fact I'm not like you, like the second child, like the Major.. I'm not human..."
Shinji shook his head: "No, NO! NO! I told you ! I don't care! Please, stop this nonsense !"
Rei: "You were afraid of me, when you knew I was given birth from your father, mixing your mother's and Lilith's DNA.. I'm an hybrid, a chimera.."
Shinji couldn't stand, and hugged her, circling her with both arms, crying in pain for his right arm.. The plate fell on the floor, making a loud sound..Dishes and glasses broke in pieces.. he stood panting over her shoulder for a bit, then he put his chin over it, resting against her: "Rei.. Please.. listen to me.. It doesn't matter why you were given birth, what they wanted from you. I'm not afraid of you, I'll never be. I'll never see in you anything else other than a wonderful person. I like you, Rei, and I will do everything I'll be able to do to protect you. To make you happy."
Rei: "There could never be happiness for me."
Shinji sat back in the chair, holding his right arm in pain..: "Why?"
Rei: "What I desire, I can't reach. I don't want to reach it."
Shi: "What are you trying to say? If you want something, you must fight, with whit all your will, with all your strength, with all your heart to reach it !"
Rei: "I can't. Happiness can't exist for me. I don't belong to this world. Soon, I'll leave this world."
Shinji grabbed her right shoulder with his left harm, fiercely squeezing it: "NO! Don't dare to say such things! I saved your life ! You.. You.. You belong to me! You belong to me !..Don.. Don't.. leave me alone.."
His anger turned into sadness, and he started sobbing..
Rei looked his head moved by the sobs.. and quietly speak: "Would you let me to stay near you ? Even if I am a monster, made from your own mother's flesh ?"
He nodded between his sobs..
"Would you let me stay near you? Even if I am a monster, half an angel, our deadly enemy ?"
He nodded again, between his sobs..
"Would you let me to stay near you ? Even.. Even if I love you ?"
Shinji stopped breathing.. 'Did I hear...right? Did she really...', he slowly lifted his head up to hers.. her eyes were watering.. 'Tears.. is she crying ? I made her cry..'
He simply stood, looking her in amazement, while little by little, a flow of hot tears made their way trough her cheeks, over her hands, over her lap..
He acted without thinking.. he moved his hands to her face, and gently followed tear's race.. He moved his index finger in front of his eyes, and then licked it.. It tasted.. salty.. He looked again at her, now she had her hands to her face, and was sobbing quietly.. her shoulders moving up and down from time to time. He looked at her for a long moment, then slowly stood and sat on the bed near to her, back to the wall. He circled her back with his good arm and whispered to her: "The last thing I would want is to make you cry.." he moved her head with his own, until she was facing him. "You see ? You said you weren't human.. these tears.. are the proof you were wrong.. What is an human being? It's not its flesh, not its brain, not its heart...what makes you an human being is your soul, your mind.. I see in you one of the most wonderful people I've ever meet.. You are more human than a lot of people.. You risked your life to protect me, you protected Asuka, you felt anger, love, despair.. Live.. Live for me.. Use your imagination.. Think about a world.. where we would be free of our restrains.. Where there wouldn't be angels to fight.. Where we could run together.. where we could play together, and grow together.. Where we could find our loved half.. Oh Rei.. Never.. Never I had could had imagined you saying me 'I love you..' Never , never in my dreams, never in my mind.. Never in my heart.." he pressed her against him, while she was listening sobbing.. "Oh, Rei.. You have no idea.. no idea how I feel.. Being loved.. Having someone who cares about me.. This morning.. I thought about Misato like a mother.. I saw you two, asleep, together.. I thought about you like my family.. A family.. A family I never had.. My father took it away from me.. He took my mother away from me.. I knew.. Ritsuko told me.. My mother died do build the Eva.. My mother died to give me, to give you, to give us an hope.. an hope to live.. to survive the angels.. How could you think I would be afraid of you? I bless your flesh, I bless my mother, I bless you.. Oh Rei.. thanks..thanks.."
He leaned against the wall, drawing Rei with him.. she spoke:
"I.. I don't have a soul.. A soul.. is a gift.. I don't belong to this world.. I wasn't given a soul.."
Shinji kissed her on the forehead: "My little Rei.. How could you think.. How you could think.. A soul isn't a gift.. Our soul if made by ourselves... A soul isn't something they gave us, and that we bring with us, trying to not dirt it.. A soul is our essence, what is inside it.. It is a fragile thing.. it has multiple aspects.. like our personality.. We are one, no-one, one hundred thousand, once said an Italian writer.. I could remember my old sensei telling me this story.. We make what we are.. We start building a wall.. A wall for each person we know.. And we remain inside that wall.. not trusting others in the fear to be harmed by their behavior.. But.. In this way we'll remain alone.. Rei.. you opened your hearth to me.. I care about you.. Do I love you ? What is love ? The will to protect, the will to stay together ? Aren't we too young to speak about love ? I don't know.. For what I care, until I won't find out what love is really, I won't leave you. Even then I'd eventually find out what really love is, I won't harm you. You deserve kindness. Yes.. If love is all of this.. I truly love you, Rei.."
Rei pondered a bit.. then.. "You know.. You make me think about me.. like that person that the other usually call a sister.."
Shinji remained speechless.. finally managed to reply: "I.. I never had a sister.. you know.."
Rei curled her against him: "But.. until you'll find out what do you really feel for me, I'll be happy for what you could give me.."
He looked at her, and sighed, letting her soft breath to drive him into sleep.. So they were found by a strange visitor..
A boy on a wheel chair was making his way along the corridor to the restoration room, far away from his room. It was by his request that they didn't bring him the breakfast in his room. This made him feel.. useless.. So, every morning he was used to go to the cafeteria to eat something. Usually he counted the occupied room.. Every day, someone left, leaving the hospital always more empty.. Even the personnel was leaving.. It seemed that the city was becoming a ghost town.. This morning he was late.. he was very excited last night, because tomorrow afternoon he would have been finally given his pro-thesis.. So he fell asleep late and now it was already 9:20..
Boy: "Shit! This morning I'm going to stay without food!! I hope they didn't close yet.. I can't stand those vendor machines.."
He saw, moving on his wheel chair, that a room had been occupied..
'That's strange.. These times the rooms only went empty..'
He didn't care much, because he had something more important to do.. He was able to arrive in time, but he had to eat somewhere else, so he headed, more calmly this time, towards his room..
When he was in a certain corridor, he saw again the room: 'Look.. this is the only room occupied in this long corridor.. I wonder why they didn't put him near the other patients, in the upper floor.. Passing by the door, he threw a glance to the door's label, continuing wheeling.
then a bit, his right hand blocked abruptly the right wheel, causing his chair to dodge and tumble.. his plate flew on the floor, his milk spreading everywhere. He fond himself on the floor, the chair over him. A nurse heard that mess and ran to help him, but..
Toj: "Leave me alone! I can do by myself! If you want, clean this mess!"
The nurse seemed hurt by these words, so he managed to say: "I.. I'm sorry.. please, clean the floor. I'll manage myself."
It was difficult for him, without an arm and a leg, to stand on his only foot, and to put the chair again on the floor, sitting on it. When he finished, sighing, he saw the nurse looking with compassion at him. He turned away saying: "I don't need your compassion."
He finally reached that door, and looked up, moving back his head:
Toj: "..Ikari.."
".."
"Could it be?"
He inhaled deeply, and then knocked gently on the door.
Nobody answered.
He couldn't resist: he slowly opened the door.. It was dark inside.. He cautiously wheeled inside.. Behind a separe, he saw something unexpected.. On a bed, leaned against the wall, and supporting each other, deeply asleep, he fond Shinji and Rei.. He stood here for a bit, looking at then in disbelief.. then.. he remembered.. Shinji looking at Ayanami.. Ayanami speaking to him on the floor, before the accident..
He looked the couple, and smiled.. He nodded, and left the room, with a broad smile on his face.. once outside..
"Way to go, Shinji! I'd like to see the red demon goddess' face when she'll see you.."
'Strange.. Shinji was all bandaged.. I haven't heard any rumor about another angel attack..'
His stomach growled, so he headed to the automatic vendor machines.. "How I hate them.."
He was sadly heading to the cafeteria, when he heard a muffled cry from behind him.. Before he could turn to see what was happening, someone threw herself over him, hugging his head from behind with all his strength.. He didn't understand anything.. He only heard someone crying and sobbing over him.. He managed to pull down the arms that were circling his head, and turned it to face his aggressor.. When he saw a pig-tail, and that hair, he understood..
Toj: "Class rep..."
Hikari continued to cry.. nodding quietly..
A hand touched his arm, and he looked up..
Toj: "Kensuke?"
Kensuke, was trying with all his will not to look at his missing limps.. Tears in his eyes.. Toji followed his gaze, and, sadly, smiled..
Toj: "You know, Kensuke? This afternoon they'll finally give me my artificial limbs they are motorized.. I'll be able again to walk.. maybe to pick up things.. It's only matter of time.."
Kensuke nodded, having a knot in his throat..
Only then, Toji spotted Asuka.. She was standing behind Kensuke, looking with an horror expression to him.. But.. there was something strange about her..
Toj: "Soryu.. How are you?"
She felt the question was directed to her, and looked to his face. He was looking at her, always wearing that sad smile that only the suffering could make so painful to face..
Asu: "I.. I'm fine.."
Toji nodded.. Kensuke was listening carefully, but due the fact he was still fighting against the tears, he didn't made any move..
Toj: "Did you come to see Shinji?"
Hikari released her grip and asked: "Have you seen him?"
Toj: "Yeah.. He was passing by his door, and I saw his name on the label.."
Ken: "Yeah.. well.. he fell on a glass tearing his flesh.."
Toj: "I can't believe it! He had fought against the angels, piloted an Evangelion, and he got injured falling on a glass.. he's really a baka, isn't he, Soryu?"
He turned to face her, but what he saw disturbed him a bit.. She was looking at him, like not understanding what he had just said, but as if those words meant something for her..
She came closer to Kensuke and asked: ".. Brother.. What he is talking about ? What is an Evangelion ? Who is he?"
Nobody had the time to reply, because a loud and ritmic sound of steps on the floor was coming closer to them.. They were still close to Shinji's door, far from the corridor's end, when the saw emerging from them a multitude of armed men, M16 and Desert's Eagle in hand.. They aimed at them, and someone shouted them to go to the nearest corridor's exit..
Toji wasn't able to understand, Hikari stood looking from a corner to another in panic, while Asuka was looking surprised to those men.. Kensuke made his move, having spotted the right door, said: "Okay ! Let's go into Shinji's room, quickly!" He grabbed Asuka by an arm, and gestured Hikari to push Toji's chair.. He opened the door, waited for the other to be entered, and then closed it, not leaving enough time to the Nerv's squad to react..
Outside, Commander Ikari ate the news at his phone without any objection.. "Continue to watch the door. Put snipers on the roof.. Is it possible to shoot from the window?"
"..."
"I see.. Make an attack-helicopter come here, sniper version."
".."
"I'll give you twenty minutes."
He then put his hands behind his back, looking at his men that were evacuating the hospital, with no mercy for the patients..
He again picked the phone and asked of Captain Ibuki.. "Captain, try to activate unit 01 and 02 with our test and prototype dummy plugs."
May: "Sir! We haven't even run a simulation! What if.."
Gen: "I want to know if they could work. Stand ready to break connection and to block the units. I want be contacted within forty minutes."
He stood, in his open sky car, and told his attendant: "Bring me to the entrance."
...
Inside the room, the children were breathing hard..
Hikari was about to speak, when Toji silenced all: "Ssshh! They are sleeping!". In the darkness, he pointed to the bed.. three pair of eyes followed the direction pointed, and finally spotted the strange couple.. Kensuke gasped, Hikari looked at them in amazement, but quickly turned to face Asuka, worried about her..
Asuka was looking at them stunned.. She came closer to the bed.. looking at the boy's face.. then looked at the other girl.. Kensuke was praying all his ancestors, Hikari was looking at her in horror, while Toji was grinning devilishly..
Abruptly, with a strength coming no one know where from, Shinji's collar, almost tearing it.. he, being on the bed's edge fell on the chair awakening.. he thought about a dream.. like in a slow-motion, he saw Asuka grabbing his collar with both hands, like strangling him.. Then she lifted her right hands, and slapped him across his face with all her strength..
Shi: 'That hurt....'
He looked better at her, and saw her crying..
Asu: "You.. You betrayed me.. With.. with that.. doll.."
Shinji was now aware of what was happening, and felt himself without the floor under his feet..
Shi: "I.. I.."
Asu: "You said me you would never let me alone ! And here you are ! With wonder girl sleeping together ! You betrayed me ! "
It looked like Rei, having focused the situation, was ready to launch herself against Asuka, her knees on the middle of the bed, so Hikari, to prevent this, decided to make the 'lighting-conductor'.. He threw herself between Asuka and the bed, dividing the two girl and grabbed Asuka by the shoulders forcing her to face her face, and, indirectly, Rei's: "How dare you ? How dare you saying such things to Shinji ? Do you have your memories back, now ? Then why don't you remember all of it? Don't you remember what we've done for you ? Don't you remember how Shinji acted to protect you, to prevent you from being hurt, to free you from the sedatives ? How dare you to slap him ! Don't you remember ? Don't you remember how he got shot to protect you ? Don't you remember? He could've died to protect you ! And while you should hug him and thanking him for protecting you, you've slapped him! How dare you, Asuka ! HOW DARE YOU !"
Asuka took the outburst in silence.. Now, all was clear in her mind, with no sedatives in her body, all was clear.. She remembered all.. her attempted suicide.. her in the bathroom, her in the van, her in the commander office.. She started to tremble.. She was saying something.. When she sensed something.. She looked over Hikari shoulders to see two red glowing eyes looking at her.. she stared at them for a bit, almost fascinated by them.. Then a voice was heard: "You need him. You love him."
Even Hikari was surprised, and stepped on side to turn to face the source of that voice.. Shinji, still in loss of words, was looking from his chair..
Rei, sheets still wrapped around her body, was sitting on the middle of the bed, now like completely relaxed,her leg crossed.
Rei: "You need him. Even if you won't admit it to yourself, you like him, you love him. You'd wish he could stay only with you, for all your life."
Asu: "..Do.. Don't tell stupid lies! You stupid doll! Look! Look! You're naked in his bed! Has he played with you ? Has he fucked you ? You bitch! You're disgusting! He's disgusting ! I hate him!"
Rei: "If you'll never admit your emotions, you'll never be happy.. I made it. I finally told him: 'I love you.'"
Kensuke and Toji were speechless, while Gendo bit his lower lip.. He was listening to this conversation thanks a couple of directional microphones.. His men had approached the room, and put an optic fiber under the door, and he was even able to have a partial view of the room.. He was listening to this discussion very worriedly..
Asuka held her breath.. finally..: "What.. What did he reply?"
Rei shook her head sadly: "He wants to protect me, he wants me to be happy. He cares about me. He was happy when I told him I loved him.. But.. his feelings.. his emotions.. are those of a man who who wants to become one with me, body, mind and soul? I don't know.. Aren't these rather the feelings a brother would feel about his sister? I asked him that.. What is me for you ? I'm a lover to you, or a sister ? He couldn't reply.. He told me that perhaps we were too young.. In a world that could finish within the year.. he told me we were too young.. So he refused me.. If he didn't refuse me, he refused to express his feelings.. But I won't give up. I don't want to be his sister. I want to to become one with him. I will fight against everything and everyone, to get his heart. Now I'm already happy: he accepted me, my nature, knowing it, and he didn't escape from me. I'll never leave him. But I'm not so egotistic as you, second children. Even if he'll choose you, even if I'll get killed, even if we'll get divided, my soul would be with him forever. I love him. So it had been, so it is, so it would be, in the eternity."
Asuka stood looking at her while she was speaking. She couldn't believe Rei could speak for such a long time.. and.. those words..
Asu: 'a sister.. brother and sister..'
'..'
'..will he choose me? Wasn't I supposed to choose my..'
"Don't be ridiculous! How do you expect I can believe you, the Commander's favorite, his doll, his toy? Maybe you are doing what he ordered you ! Maybe this is a plan of his ! May"
Rei: "No. I disobeyed to the commander. I'll never follow again his orders, if I don't want to do. I betrayed him. I left his orbit. Now I am choosing my path. I'm building my life. Even if he'll haunt me, even if he'll kill me, I won't regret my choices. Cogito, ergo sum. I am free now."
The commander put down the earphones, looking straight in front of him. Finally, then about five minutes, his phone rang.
Gen: "Yes?" May: "Sir.. The activation of the dummy plug bravo in unit 01 is a disaster. The sync with unit 02 is barely 15
He closed the phone and looked to the sky. He dialed a number and simply said: "Ikari here." "..."
"Very well. The target is the first child. Your orders are to erase her. I repeat, your orders are to erase her."
"..."
"Don't you have the infrared? What could a curtain do?"
"..."
"I see. I've got a visual. The target is sitting on the bed. She's the nearest to the window. Do your job. Report when done."
He closed the phone, and pushed his glasses over his nose. He stood, eyes shut. It was almost imperceavle, but his chin seemed to be moving restless, he was, as a further investigation would've revealed, shaking...
The phone rang.. he looked at it while it kept ringing.. one.. two.. three.. five times.. finally he picked it up. He put it near his ear without saying a word..
Str: "Confirm, the target has been shoot down. I repeat, our sniper on the helicopter has hit the target."
He dropped the phone. And weakly, commanded: "Bring me home."
The attendant was uncert: "To the Nerv base, Sir?"
Gendo didn't respond at first, then.. "No.. bring me.. to the cemetery outside the city."
The phone rang again, and he didn't respond. So the attendant picked it up and listened to it: "Sir, our squad are waiting your orders."
Gen: "Get back to the base."
Att: "What about the corpse?"
Gendo shivered: "Notify the hospital personnel, let them take care of her."
Att: "Aren't we claiming her corpse?"
Gendo thought for a moment.. "Tell them.. to bury her as soon as possible, in the cemetery outside the city. Near.. Near to my wife."
The attendant looked at Gendo through the mirror, and nodded slowly, then spoke in the phone and drove outside the city.
Gendo was looking outside the pane, until he reached his wife's empty grave. He looked down to it. He looked at those bare, cold letters..
Gen: 'I've killed.. you.. for the second time..'
'..'
'But.. it couldn't be helped.. She would've never allowed me to meet you again, Yui..'
'...'
'I hope.. you'll forgive me.. All I've done, I've done for you..'
Another voice spoke in his mind, but he didn't want to listen to it.. it was an accuse, a cold voice showing him the truth.. a truth he wouldn't never face: 'Lies. You're liar, Gendo Rokunbugi. You did all for vengeance. You're not pursing your wife, you're seeking your revenge against the man who put you in this hell: Keel Lorentz, because, you know, there won't be forgiveness for you.'
He shook his head and said, smirking: "Maybe it's true. Now I'll be forced to face him, and I'll see if I'll be still able to cover my hate."
He looked down again, and left.
...
Misato was still working on his paperwork, when she heard a little knock on her door: "It's open, come in."
The door swung open, and she saw, to much her surprise, Maya, Makoto and Shingeru behind it. From the expressions on their face, she could immediately fell that was happened something wrong. Terribly wrong. Horribly wrong. She looked at them, her eyes wide in terror, her chin trembling.. Maya, the one who got the new for first, when she had called the attendant to confirm that unit 02 was active with the dummy plug, slowly entered the room and sat on the first of the two chair Misato had in front of her desk. Shingeru reached the other, while Makoto circled the desk and stood behind her. She was looking them moving, knowing that they were bringing with them a message.. A death's message.. She forgot to breathe, she forgot to make her heart beat, she forgot to live. Her color drained from her face, sweat was visible over her whole uncovered body..
Finally Maya broke the silence: "Rei. Commander."
They were even too much. Misato exploded in a painful cry, hitting the desk with her fists, throwing away all the papers from his desk, almost cutting her with the tools that there were onto it.. Makoto was ready. He grabbed her arms, and wrestled with her to put her back in the seat. She moved wildly, cursing the commander at the top of her lungs, cursing herself for not shooting him before, when Shinji was hit by a bullet.. Maya was crying, her hands to her face, while Shingeru looked like a wax-mask, petrified in his horror. Only Makoto tried to calm her..
Hyu: "Major! Major! Please! Please!"
But all his efforts were in vain.. When Misato broke free and headed to the door, he threw himself towards her, and grabbed her from behind. She fought like a were-tiger, turning on her hells, and cutting him with her nails, slapping him and even biting him.. He kept on bracing her, when she finally collapsed on his arms, capable only to cry.. He drew her on the near couch, and lied her there. It was like she was raving... He stood there, then asked to his friends: "Do you know where the hell Fukuyutski is ?"
...
Ritsuko was reading carefully a list of data, when she saw him. Better, his ghost. She didn't need an hint.
Rit: "Rei."
Gen: "..."
Rit: "When?"
Gen: "Two hours ago."
Rit: "How?"
Gen: "A bullet."
Rit: "A sniper action?"
Gen: "...."
Rit: "Where?"
Gen: "Head."
Rit: "Where is the corpse?"
Gen: ".."
Rit: "I could need it."
Gen: "No. She won't be touched."
Rit: "So, your letting go your precious pet, commander?"
He stepped to her in no time, and grabbed her by the throat. She wasn't able to breathe.. Her feet weren't touching the floor.. She was hanging from his deadly grip.. In his eyes there was, hatred, pure hatred and anger.. and despair. A limitless despair. It was like looking into a deep wheel, bringing straight to the hell...
When he realized the doctor was fainting, he let her go. With a loud thump, she collapsed on the floor, gasping for air. He turned on his heels and headed towards the door. In the doorway, he spoke: "I'll see the committee tomorrow morning, at 11:00. By that date, I want to see her again. Six years old. No memories, no knowledge, nothing."
Ritsuko spoke from behind him: "Must I put the inhibitor, like in the others ? In the last, it seems it didn't work.."
"No. Leave her untouched. I'll need her, soon."
The door closed behind him. The doctor raised her head: "Do you want a little child to play the father again ?"
...
About 18:00 Kensuke, Hikari, Toji and Asuka were still in the hospital, outside the Shinji's door. Asuka seemed fine. She had regained full conscience and her memories were back. She wasn't anymore thinking about her past, about her mother, about the commander. She wasn't thinking about Shinji, she wasn't remembering his words, his kindness. She was seeing a scene, one, two, one thousand times, like pieces of a broken film. It was like seeing a dream, scattered frames of a surrealist film. She has pierced into her mind those eyes.. those eyes she hated a lot, eyes showing no emotion, no sparks of life..
Now she was seeing those eyes.. she was seeing them alarmed, she was seeing them looking to her, looking into her, scanning her very being..
She was seeing them turning into an immense sadness, turning to face Shinji..
How long could it have lasted?? A second ? A millisecond ? She couldn't say..
Then..
Then..
Asu: 'Why?' 'Why? She could've saved herself. Why did she act so ?'
'Why?'
She was leaning against the wall. Toji was as always on his chair, Hikari, to his side, sat on the floor. Kensuke was sitting on the floor, leaning against the door, his knees to his chest, arms on them and his head hanging down between them. nearby, there was a food's plate.
Misato arrived there, followed by Maya, Makoto and Shingeru. Toji spotted her first.
Toj: "Good morning, Major."
Misato stopped in front of him.
Mis: "Hi, Toji. How are you?"
Toj: "Well.. I could be better.."
Misato lowered he head. "I'm sorry."
Toji smiled: "Don't worry, I'm fine."
His expression darkened: "Shinji, however.."
Mis: "Where is he?"
Toj: "Inside."
Mis: "I see."
She made a few steps towards the door, finding Kensuke on the way..
Mis: "Kensuke.."
Ken: "..."
Mis: "Kensuke."
He continued stay silent.
Misato kneeled down and shook him gently: "Kensuke.."
He raised his head, his eyes blankly, with no life's signs.. He simply stood, moved to the door's side and sat down again, near Asuka.
Misato looked at her. It seemed she was fine, 'at least for now', so she decided it was time for more urgent matters. She looked over her shoulder. Maya was bouncing back and forth over her legs, while Shingeru decided to imitate Kensuke sitting on the floor. Makoto was staring intently at her.
Misato sighed and opened the door. It was pitch dark inside. The curtains were closed; even the night light was turned off. From the dark, like coming from another time, space, and life form, came a guttural "Go away."
She inhaled deeply, and closed the door behind her. She tried to breathe as slightly as possible, to not disturb the occupant..
"Go away."
Misato gulped, then.. "Shinji.."
"Go away, Misato."
Mis: "Shinji.. I beg you.."
"Go away. I don't want see anyone."
Mis: 'his voice.. is so.. strange.. so guttural.. so. deep..'
A picture crossed her mind.. Shinji crying and cursing his father, at the top of his lung.. until blood came out of his mouth..
Mis: "Shinji.. I beg you.. listen to me.."
Shi: "Misato. I want to stay alone. Alone with Rei."
Misato wrinkled.. "Shinji.. When I arrived here.. They told me you didn't allow them to take care of her body.."
Shi: "She's mine."
Misato was now searching, silently, the light's switch on the wall.
Mis: "Shinji.. She'll be buried next to her mother.. your..", she mentally prayed God, "your father wouldn't reclaim her body.. They won't touch her.. They want only bury her.. We will be there.."
Shi: "No. I'll stay here. With her."
Mis: "Shinji.. please.. She's gone.."
She was expecting an outburst here, but instead:
Shi: "No. She'll return. I'm sure of it."
It was like his soul had been drained of all his vitality.
She succeeded in finding the switch and turned the light on. What she saw, she would never forget for all her life: blood everywhere, gray matter on floor and on the bed.. and.. on the bed.. , dear Lord , Shinji was sitting, his back leaning against the wall, his head resting over a pillow. He was holding Rei with his arms. She was lying on the bed, her upper body leaning against his chest, her head resting on his right shoulder..
Her head.. It was all banded with piece of fabric, probably made ripping the sheets apart.. Her mouth and nose wasn't covered, the rest of head totally covered.. Large dark spots were visible on it..
She couldn't resist.. and threw up.. on the floor..
Shinji was staring blankly into the void, without even closing from time to time his eye-lids.
Then she stood again: she couldn't stand that view, and turned off the light.
When she was able to speak again, an awful taste in her mouth, she said: "..That's.. That's insane, Shinji..."
Shi: "I don't care. She'll come back to me."
Mis: "Shinji.. Don't you understand ? She's dead, she's not anymore here! What are you holding isn't a person's body ! It's a corpse ! A CORPSE ! Do you understand?"
Shi: "When she'll come back, I'll be holding a person again."
Mis: "Listen to yourself! Do you think your father played you a prank? She's dead ! Otherwise, if she could ever come back, your father would've picked her body and burned, destroyed it ! Shinji ! Don't drift into madness ! She's gone ! GONE! GONE!"
She finished shouting, and waited panting heavily.
Shinji calmly replied: "My father doesn't know her. She said she would protect me. She said she would be always near me. She said she loved me."
Misato's eyes went wide.. 'Oh my god.. this situation is horrible ! His mind is on the edge of the abyss ! I must do something.. She said she loved him.. poor girl.. poor little girl..'
She tried to reach the bed in the dark, and sat on his edge, and started talking quietly: "Do you think Rei would be happy seeing you like this, holding a corpse in an hospital room ? You pushed away your friends, they are waiting for you outside.. And you are doing an horrible thing to her, you are treating her like a doll in your hands. Instead.. You should let her get buried.. She'll have a place near your mother.. her ideal mother.."
Shinji interrupted her: "She's not my sister. She's Rei. She hasn't nothing to do with my mother. It wasn't her choice to have her DNA. If I'll find I love her like a lover and not like a sister, a dear friend, I'll marry her."
Misato was shocked: "You are insane ! You are speaking of a future that would never exist ! She's dead, Shinji! Do you understand ?"
Shi: "No. It is you who does not understand. You, and the others. I don't blame you. At all. I know her better. I know she'll fight the death, and she'll come back to me. But I won't tell her that I love her like a lover then, like a gift. It won't be fair. I need her, to explore my feelings. I need her, to go and see the cherry blossoms. I need her, to walk under the moon. I need her, to hold her hands. I need her, to share my walk-man. I need her, to complete my existence. Misato, you're like a mother to me. Now I understand. I love you. Please, show mercy. Let me stay here. Trust me. We'll have a big party soon. If I were you, I'll start buying something to eat. Remember, Rei doesn't eat meat."
Misato, with trembling hands, reached his face, and caressed him.. "Shinji.. I almost lost Asuka...I have lost Rei before I could know her better. I don't want to loose you.. my little Shinji.."
Shi: "It won't happen. Now go. I'll come out when Rei will wake up."
Misato stood, and left the room. Before opening the room, she said: "Shinji.. nobody can defeat death. Why should Rei do it ? Even angels die.."
Shi: "She will come back. I'm sure of it."
Misato left, closing the door behind her.
Outside, she looked at the ceiling..
Mis: "How? How could it happen?"
"Why? Why has he to suffer like this? What are his sins, to get such hard punishment?"
She turned her face to stare at Asuka.. "Asuka."
Nothing..
Mis: "Asuka."
She looked at her for a brief moment, then turned to stare again at her feet.
Mis: "Asuka.. Try to make him change his mind...he'll become insane if he stays in there..."
Asu: "..."
Mis: "Please.. maybe he'll listen to you.."
Asu: "I don't think so."
Mis: "Why? Maybe yo"
Asu: "He'll never listen to me again. It could be said that I killed Ayanami."
End of chapter 8
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X-Ray: "I have always wanted to say: 'I killed the cat, not the curiosity!'"
EBJ: "I killed the cat and the curiosity, but nobody will ever find the bodies..."
Tsu: "The cat no longer has its curiosity for its soul now belongs to me ..."
Xray start re-reading Doyle's 'The sign of four' laughing like a crazyman..
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Book of the chapter:
Walter Scott: Ivanhoe
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