FAMILY (3/?)
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.
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"So that went well, don't you think?" I asked as we cleaned up the dishes. I would have to define it as problem the most awkward meal that I had ever had. Zach was being Zach, of course, and hardly spoke only grunted to answer questions (I did tell you how much he annoyed me, right?). Poor Max was so confused, she hardly knew what to feel. I could tell there were moments when she was incredibly jealous and then there were moments when she wasn't and both were confusing the hell out of her. And Bling, Bling was enjoying the show. Okay and I have to admit that Logan and I were milking it a bit. I think the feeding each other went a bit too far (kidding!). Both Zack and Max left after we were finished, giving us some lame excuse. I don't think tinkering with her bike qualifies as an emergency, do you? Bling offered to help us clean up, but we told that we could handle it and he should go have some fun.
"You like to watch her squirm, don't you?" I knew exactly what was going through his mind during dinner and I was definitely going to call him on it.
Logan looked up at me with his puppy dog eyes, "I don't know what you are talking about?"
"Yes, you do know what I am talking about because I could hardly get your hands off of me tonight and although I think I am a goddess, it was not because of me that your hands were doing the wandering. Which is so not cool. The last thing I need is some Manticore female on my butt because she thinks that I stole her guy."
"You think that I was doing that to make Max jealous?"
"Weren't you?"
"Can't a guy who hasn't seen his favorite girl in a while be touchy feely without people questioning him?" I had no idea what to say after that, what do you say? "Besides," Logan continued with a smirk, "it's fun to watch her squirm."
"I knew it!" I screamed as I flicked some water at him. Thus began our short but fun water fight.
When we were done both of us were soaked. "Well that was fun. I am going to go dry off and you, Mr. Cale, should probably do the same."
I slipped into one of my favorite pajamas and went into the living room where I found Logan sitting on the couch. He too had changed into more appropriate deep discussion wear.
"So how are you?"
"Fine. You never did answer my question, why did you come?" He gave me his I want to have a serious talk with you look. I sit down on the opposite end of the couch. "How are you really Anna?"
"I'm actually fine. You think that I would be used to it by now. I was really doing fine."
About three weeks ago...
"Anna, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come? Or i could have come there?" Logan is so cute when he gets angry at me for not telling him something. One time when I got caught doing a little recon for Mr. Eyes only and had a little injury escaping, Logan was pissed when he found out. Angry more because Sol told him two days later. It was only a scratch nothing that a little ointment can't handle. But these guys are so protective over you me, you would swear that I was made out of porcelin. So I shouldn't have been surprised with Logan's reaction. He hates feeling helpless. He hates knowing that there are things that are going to happen in my life that he can't stop. He hates it when he thinks that I am vulnerable, his big brother shield goes up two fold.
"I was trying to detach a little. Besides sometimes I think Sol gets a little jealous, although he would never say it of course. I mean I lose his child and who do I go running to. So ... Plus I hate when I get all emotional, you know that."
"So why did you come?"
"Truth?"
"Truth"
"Bling called and said that you were getting down. He's really worried about you."
I can't believe he called you. Logan actually sounded mad.
He was looking out for you and wanted to get some advice. I thought that maybe I should come and spend some quality time with my Logan. Besides as soon as he started talking about you, I got that sinking feeling in my stomach and all I wanted was a good bear hug from you telling me that everything was going to be okay.
On that cue, Logan reached over and hugged me. Everything is going to be okay. He whispered. I am fine. It's you I worry about.
"No, your not and you know it! You have got to stop acting like this was some inconsequential thing that happened, like someone stole your candy bar. You were shot by somebody and now you can't walk. That is big! That is something that you should be angry about. My god, Logan, you actually had Max work to keep Bruno alive!"
He told you about that.
Yes and he told me about how you keep watching the tape over and over.
"We needed Bruno to bring down a bigger guy."
"And you can live with that! Not only did he cause you to lose your legs but he also sold Max out. And yet for the good of the cause you can handle that. Do you always have to be so damn noble?"
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Get angry!"
"At who, Anna. Who am I supposed to be mad at?" Logan's voice was raised.
"I don't know. Be angry at Bruno,..."
"Be angry at Edgar Sonrisa, be angry at Lauren or Sophie .... for putting me in the position, be angry at Max for not saving my ass, be angry at you for not being there, be angry at the world, be angry at God!!! Tell me who I am supposed to be angry at!" Logan was now yelling.
"I thought you didn't believe in God." I quietly reminded him.
"I don't." He stated and then laughed a little. "That felt good."
"Good, you should do it more often. Yelling is an incredibly healthy thing. I know there are lots of things that you keep in those tight little crevices of your mind, but sometimes you have to let go."
"It just seems so useless."
"I know when there are millions of people out there who have bigger problems than you, blah, blah, blah... But may I remind your life has not been all roses either. You have the right to be a little pissed at the world."
"How about you? Are you angry?"
"Angry that I keep miscarrying. Yes. Angry that I even want a child in the first place, when my very being exists for the exact opposite purpose. Yes. Angry that Manticore couldn't make me right and that I get the shakes. Yes. Angry that they made me at all. Yes. Angry that there are people out there who would sell me to the highest bidder. Yes. Angry that I am being hunted. Yes, I am. But every once in a while I let it out and that's what you need to do. Can I tell you what I most angry about?"
"What?"
"That Zach is still the same prick that I remembered." We both started laughing.
Do you think that they recognized you?
I think Max did, but she brushed it off. A lot has happened since we saw each other last. I don't think we could identify any of us, if it wasn't obvious. I mean look at Zach he has been reprogrammed and deprogrammed to be a walking robot.
"Tell me about him."
Not much to tell that I haven't already. It makes sense that they would try to reprogram him. He would have been the easiest. You see, we have all been trained by the same people but we all had different personalities. And Zach, Zach was the kind of guy who would follow the orders and do whatever he could to be the best. He needed to have Manticore as a higher purpose. Either as something to run to or away from. When we were little Zach and I were the closest, mostly because of our ages. He was the leader, but I was always second in command. And I don't mean to brag but I was better. Every time there was any type of competition I would always beat him. But he would never recognize that. I am sure he still doesn't. What Zach thinks is, there is no questioning."
"Why won't you let me tell Max about you?"
"Logan we have already talked about this. I don't want to be found.
"She didn't recognize you because she trusts me. She trusts that I would have told her, but I can't because I promised you that I wouldn't."
"Logan, she will never find out. It is better for all of us that we stay a part. Don't ask me to explain it, just trust me on this one."
"Fine. But can I state for the record that I don't agree."
"Agreed. So can I see the tapes?"
I sit in silence as I watch the tape of the shooting. I watch as Logan holds on to that little girl for dear life. How the girl had to be dragged away from his arms? I then turn to look at him.
"At least I was right about you."
"What does that mean? That I'm obsessive" Logan turns to look at me. Although instead of turning the stopping the tape, he pauses it. So there is this horrifying close-up of his face.
"Well there's that and that you are good person. I pause for a moment, trying to formulate my thoughts into coherent words. Look people always ask themselves what they would do in the heat of the moment. You know if you saw an accident would you drive by or stop to help. Here you are putting your life at risk for this little girl and even when you are hurt your instincts are to hold on to her." Logan looked back at the camera. "Do you know why I followed you home that night?"
"Because I had free food?"
"That and ..."
"Free bed?"
"That and ..."
"You had a hopeless crush on me?"
"Okay, that's going a bit far. No seriously, you were the first person that I had met who didn't want anything from me. You are a good person. No matter how much you might question where your motives come from or how much of your work stems from guilt, you can not deny the simple fact that you are good. And that is something that people don't acquire it was there when you were born. "
Logan smiled.
Your welcome. So what do you say that we go get in bed?
Sounds good. Are you going to stay with me or the guest room?
You, please. I follow Logan as he wheels himself into his bedroom. Now, I know what you are thinking, but this is our weird ritual and no amount of age is going to change it. I now, thanks to Logan, can not sleep in a bed alone. Not that I need to sleep very much, but when I do now I need human contact or else I will just lie there. Also when I am in bed with him, I always feel the security that I felt when I was a little girl. I cherish that feeling.
So, what is going on with you and Max?
I heard you took her to the wedding.
Yeah and that she copped out on me later to be with Zach.
Oh, so she is doing the running scared thing, cute.
That isn't what I'm saying.... Logan knew that he had just made a slip.
No what you are saying is that there is something going on between the two of you, but she is tentative. The second you guys get too close, she freaks and bolts to the door.
Something like that...
This doesn't sound like the Logan Cale, I know and love. The guy who could make any girls knees go weak just by looking at them.
Max isn't any girl.
No, but you also aren't the same Logan Cale.
What do you mean?
Your not, your different. You are not as confident as you used to be, not as cocky. I guess that could be seen as a good thing. But don't blame everything on Max. Yes, we genetically engineered killing machines are a bit squeamish in the romance division. But do not blame this all on her. If you wanted something to happen, it would, I assure you of that.
No, the root of the problem lies with you. Do you think that the chair makes you any less attractive?
Can we not go there?
No, I want to go there. Let me tell you something, Max is not hanging around because she likes your food, trust me.
But she's not...
It's not guilt. She likes you, I would even go as far as to say she loves you but she is scared and you know that. I could tell it the moment I saw her look at you. Max does not have to spend so much time with you. And she could have any guy she wanted, but she choses to spend her time with you and that should tell you something.
But I can't be what she wants...
You can get it up and nothing happened to your arms or mouth. You and I both know that there is more in a relationship than a guys legs.
But why would she want some half man when she could have a genetically engineered one.
Zach.... I don't think so. He may want her like that, but she has absolutely no idea or any intention of doing that. It would be like me and you, which would never happen.
No, buts you need to get off of this woe is me trip' because it ain't healthy. And before you know it, you may just loose the best thing that ever happened to you.
After a few moments of Logan contemplating, he looked up at me. When did you get so good at this relationship stuff?
I had a good teacher, who taught me that sometimes the things we want and need most are right in front of our eyes.
Must have been a smart man.
He is. Now can we get some sleep.
Yes ma'am
I rested my head on his chest and fell asleep. I woke up some time in the morning and heard somebody in the apartment. I assumed that it must be Bling, so I didn't get up. I heard the door open and looked up groggily. It took a few seconds to register who was standing in Logan's doorway with a shocked look on her face. Wonderful' I thought. Max walked quickly out of the doorway and out of the apartment before I had time to stop her. Well I guess I had to get up sometime.