Chapter 6

FAMILY (1/?)

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX

Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.

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Previously:

Max and I didn't talk the rest of the way back to Logan's place. As we parked the car, I decided that the silence was a little too annoying and so I broke it.

You should have known Logan before the accident.

Was he much different?

He wasn't very different, just his vibe was different. He was more confident, more hopeful and a lot more fun. Like the old Logan wouldn't have thought twice about coming out with me tonight. But now he prefers to stay in that apartment. And while I understand that there are a lot of practical reasons for him to stay, I think that it has more to do with...



Yeah, pride.

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Hey. You paged. Max slinked in.

Yeah and you didn't answer. Logan was obviously a little miffed.

Sorry, a little misunderstanding. But I'm good now.

Anna, clear everything up?

Damn straight. So I'm here, what's up? Max smiled at him.

Nothing much. So did you two have a good talk?



Um, what did you talk about? Logan was slightly embarrassed about asking this, but his curiosity was getting the better of him.

Max answered straight.

Why does that seem to be a pattern with her?

Talking about you.



Because, she cares about you. Logan just smiled at this statement. Logan can I ask a personal question or rather can I ask a personal favor of you?

Logan wasn't quite sure if he liked where she was going with this.

Can I see a picture of your mother? Max bite her lip as she asked this.

Logan closed his eyes for a moment.

Never mind... I mean if you ... you don't have to ... it was too personal ... sorry. Max was kicking herself. She knew it was too personal, she knew he would clam up.

Don't be sorry, Max. Logan waited a moment then gave her his answer. Its not you, its me. I don't like to talk about it much. I mean, its hard for me. I only really talked to Anna about it. But even then. Wait here. Logan rolled off and came back with an album. Let's sit on the couch. Max followed.....

- Now on with the show -

"After the accident, I had all of their belongings given away to charities. I didn't want any reminders of them. Luckily, my aunt stepped in and sorted out some things to keep. My mother used to keep all of our family photos or momentos in a box. "One day," she would say, "I am going to sit down and put all of this in albums." She even bought the albums, but she never had the time or the patience. They were kept in storage for awhile. When I was getting married, Anna went back home with me to sort out some lose ends about the house. She found the box in the attic and insisted that we take it with us. She then made me sit down and tell her about almost every picture in it. She's a little obsessive. Anyway, as a wedding present she gave me this album." And with that Logan handed the album to Max, for her to look at.

He sat and watched as she tenuously opened the book. A letter falls out.

Shakespeare's Sonnet XXX

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste.
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hide in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since canceled woe,
An moan th' expense of many a vanished sight.
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored, and sorrows end.

Logan,
Through your memories they live on, do not allow yourself to forget them.
All my love,
Anna

After reading the letter, Max turned to the first page and the first photo. It was a wedding picture of whom she assumed were his parents.

"Your Mom and Dad?" Max asked.

"Yeah. She was 23 and he was 26 when they married. They met in college, he was a grad student. According to my mom, they feel instantly in love the first moment they met." Logan smiled a little.

"She was pretty, she looks like you. Same eyes." Max turned the page and saw a baby picture. "You?"

"Yeah." Logan smiled again, but this time he smiled because of Max's expression.

"Cute kid." The next couple of pages were filled with Logan's baby pictures and like all embarrassing baby pictures there was that one naked one.

"I think Anna put that in to embarrass me."

"Did it work?" Max cocked her eyebrow and turned to look at him. They were both sitting so close now, she could feel his weight as he leaned on her to look over her shoulder at the pictures.

"With you looking at them, yeah it worked." Logan laughed. Suddenly, he too realized their closeness.

"And who is this?" Max had turned the page to a picture of a six-year old Logan sitting on a couch holding a little baby. He had the biggest smile on his face.

"That's Hannah, my baby sister. I was excited when they brought her home. I wanted to be a big brother so badly and then suddenly I was." Max continued to flip through the pages as Logan talked. "That was when we went to Hawaii for the summer. Hannah had just seen JAWS and was terrified of the ocean. I had to drag her out, but the second she was out in it, she feel in love. That whole summer, we lived at the beach. I remember my mother yelling from the house steps at us to come in for dinner. Hannah's face was always red and we both were covered in sand that every time we took a shower that year, sand would always show up in the drain."

"And what was this?" A picture of a teenaged Logan dressed in a tux with a girl on his arm. He looked geeky and awkward, but cute.

"That was senior prom."

"What?" Max had no idea what he was talking about.

"Prom was a tradition in high school. Your last year, there was a formal dance that everyone went to. It was a big deal then."

"And who was she?"

"Rebecca O'Neil. We dated for a year and half, broke up right before college. And that was graduation." Logan noted as Max turned to another picture.

"You were cute." Max smiled as she said this.

"No I wasn't. I was geeky and awkward. I always felt out of place in high school. Sure I could fake it and get along with everyone, but it wasn't real. It wasn't until college that I really felt like I could do something."

"Who is this?" Max asked about another picture that showed Logan and another guy.

"That is Sol, Anna's husband. He was my first and only roommate at Yale and we were best friends ever since. College was great Max, I wish you could have that experience."

"What was so great about it?" Max asked curiously. She noted that this was the first conversation that she had had with him in a long while that they weren't snippy at each other or throwing around sarcasm. Max also noted that Logan's arm was around her.

"All these people living together with only one purpose and that is to learn. We had these amazing conversations about life, death, Plato and thermodynamics. Nothing was too serious to talk about. You spent all day for four years learning about anything you wanted to."

Max turned to a picture that was taken at his college graduation. she turned to look at Logan. His face was more serious. "Do you want me to stop?"

Logan smiled at her for a moment and then sighed and said, "Anna told you."

"Um-huh." Max mumbled. Their faces were so close that she could feel that sadness dripping from them.

"I remember feeling the plane jerk and thinking we just hit an air current or something. Then there was that falling feeling. My mom and dad were upfront and I could here him wrestling with the machines. Then there was his mayday call. I looked over at Hannah and she was frightened. I held her hand and we jerked again and then we hit land. Her face..." Logan started choking up with tears as he continued to talk. "... there was so much blood, but she was still awake. She was so scared and I tried to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but I knew... The next thing I know I am in a hospital and everyone is telling me how lucky I am. Max, I had just lost my entire family and they were calling me lucky." Logan started crying. Max closed the book and turned back around to face Logan. She put her arms around him and held him while he cried on his shoulder.

She kissed his head and whispered "I'm sorry."

Logan stopped for a moment and looked up at Max. Their faces were almost touching he could feel her breath. They stared at each other for minutes. Logan broke the stare, turned his head and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not used to talking about it. Guess I still get kinda of emotional about it."

Logan started to get up, but Max grabbed his hand before he could move very far. "Logan, remember when I said that you didn't have to hide from me. I meant about things like this to." Max squeezed his hand. "You know all my vulnerabilities. You know everything about my past and I don't know anything about yours. I mean would you have ever told me?"

"Max, it's not you. It's just there are things that are better left in the past." Logan desperately wanted her to understand.

"But they are yours and I want to know about them." Max didn't know if she really wanted to go there, but she was going to brave it anyway.

"Why? They don't matter anymore."

"Yes they do. You had parents who loved you and a sister who apparently adored you and I didn't know anything about them. They are your family and I want to know about them. I want to know about how your mother would tuck you in at night or how your dad would throw baseballs with you in the front yard..."

"...we played basketball." Logan smiled.

"See, I want to know that. Logan, I want to know all about you, where you came from what your parents were like, what kind of food you like, what's your favorite song? I want to hear these things from you, not from some stranger who feels like she should fill me in. You asked me once to trust you and I always have. There has been nothing that I haven't told you..."

"Max..." Logan knew where this was going and he was trying to stop it before it went any further.

"No. Logan just listen to me. I trust you and I want you to trust me. I know that you have been hurt in the past and I know that you want to put up some kind of a brave front for me because of some antiquated notion of chauvinism. But you don't need to hide from me. You really don't. And I don't know how many times I need to drill it in your head. You can show me your pain, as corny as that sounds. You don't always have to be the strong one."

"Max, it's not that..."

"It is that. You are too proud to let me see your weaknesses, but for us to actually have any kind of relationship besides personal you have to let me in."

"I do trust you Max. I really do. It's just hard for me to open up like that, you know." Logan looked into Max's eyes and he could see the stubbornness course through her veins. "Okay, how about this, I will try to be more open with you. That's all I can promise."

"Will you answer any questions I have?"

"Maybe." Max laughed.

"Has anyone told you that you are stubborn?"

"Not today."

"Okay, I guess then if that's all I can get out of you than it will have to do." She smiled back at him and then opened the album up to where she left off. The next picture was one of Anna and Logan. "I swear Anna looks s familiar. If I didn't know better, I would swear that we had met before."

Logan smiled at her, "She get's that a lot."

Max was almost done with the album. The last couple of pages were all of Anna, Logan and Sol. On the last page was his wedding picture. Max fingers traced the picture. They both looked so happy. "Can I ask you a question? Anna said something tonight about how I should have known you before the accident, why do you think she meant?"

"Anna has a theory that I was different before. She seems to think that I am much more subdued now." LOgan answered as he took the album out of Max's lap and placed in on the coffee table.

"Do you think you are?" Did she actually want to go down this path, Max thought as she asked this question. He made her so confused when she was with him. Maybe she did want to go down this line of questioning, maybe she want the answers. Maybe she wanted to know from him what they were.

"I think I am a little, but it goes with the territory." Logan wasn't quite sure where she was going.

Max looked at him for a moment. Internally she was having a fight with herself trying to figure out whether she wanted this or not. She closed her eyes and held her breath. 'Jump' she thought, 'just jump!' So she jumped, "Do you think that that chair makes you any less attractive?" She opened her eyes and held her breath waiting for his answer.

"Max." His voice let her know that he really didn't want to go there, but her eyes told him that she did. So he gave in ... "Are you asking whether I feel like less of man? Than yes, I do, honestly."

"WHy?" Max's question was innocent. "Because you can't walk?" Logan didn't answer her he simply looked at her trying to read what she was thinking about in her head. "You aren't, you know. Your ability to walk doesn't make you a man and you shouldn't feel some damn sense of pride to let me in. You are the most attractive man that I have ever met." Max smiled and let her fingers trace his face, they stopped at his lips. "And I don't come here almost every night because I want favors from you or I want a meal. I come here because of you." 'Okay I jumped, now let's get out of the water.' "And on that note, it is late and I should be getting home."

"You don't have to." Logan whispered, her fingers were still on his mouth.

"Yes, I do. Because I have to get up for work tomorrow morning and Kendra always gets worried about me when I take these all-nighters." Max bit at her lower lip. She didn't want to move. "So good-night Mr. Cale." Max got up and moved her hand to come his chin. She then placed a soft good-night kiss on his lips. This was going to be slow, it has to be because this is not one relationship that I want to lose. Before Logan could react, she turned around and walked out the door.

Logan sat there a moment in shock. 'What just happened here?' he thought. He continued to stare at the empty space where Max had been, until a loud crash woke him up. "Anna!" he yelled and quickly got himself into his chair. The crash came from the bathroom. When he got there, he found Anna on the floor shaking, with glass shattered all around her on the floor. Logan quickly found her bottle of tryptophan that she had been trying to get to and got down on the floor with her and forced the pills into her mouth. He then sat there, holding her like a baby waiting for the pills to take effect. He looked at his watch to time this one. Sol had told him that her seizures had gotten worse and that they were lasting longer. "Clocked the last one at 32 minutes and 43 seconds." He had said.

Finally, Anna stopped shivering and started crying. She hated this, she hated being weak. Logan looked at his watch and was amazed to see that 42 minutes had gone by. He held her and started crying too. This was so painful for her and he knew it. He knew that every time she had one of these, she remembered Jondy. She knew what they meant, at least Max wasn't quite aware of how bad the seizures could actually get. And Max's were nothing compared to the one that Anna had just gone through. Logan pulled her tighter to him and rocked her, whispering repeatedly in a sort of mantra "Shh, everything is going to be fine." But he knew what she knew, he knew that everything wasn't. He knew that one day would come and he would get the call from Sol saying that everything wasn't fine. He knew that one day he was going to lose her too.