NULL AND VOID
PART III
Enzo carefully leaned his new surfboard against the wall of his room, being careful to balance it perfectly. He wanted to be able to look at it while he was lying in bed. He picked up his jetball cone and looked around the room carefully. Finally, grinning, he set it atop his foot locker, at the end of his bed. Perfect!
The boy walked over to his dresser, carefully studying the items atop it. He rearranged the sea shell, the sapling and the little dragon, putting the dragon first on the left and then, after a nano, on the right. He picked up the dragon, stared at it for a nano, chuckled, and finally set it back down. "I don't feel any smarter..."
The youngster walked over to his bed and reached for his icon, then paused, frowning. With a half-smile, he reached up to his collar and carefully removed the two silver pins. Satisfied, he gave his icon a half turn and rebooted into his pajamas. With equal care, he pinned the medals to the collar of his pajama top and walked over to his mirror. He straightened the keytool, smiled, sighed, and bounced into bed.
The boy leaned back and picked up his new organizer. "Cool!" he grinned. "Let's see - 'Enter new password'. Hmmm." Enzo scratched his chin thoughtfully for a moment. "That's it! Alphanumeric..." He carefully began pressing keys. "A...N...D...R...A...-"
There was a knock at the door, and Enzo hurriedly set aside the pad. "Come in!"
"Hi, Enzo." Dot grinned. "All set for bed?"
"Sure."
"Mind if I come in and talk for a nano?" Dot asked.
"Cool!" Enzo smiled. "I was gonna play - er, work with my new organizer for a while anyways."
"Cool!" Dot chuckled, sitting next to him on the bed. "Scooch over, Birthday Boy. So - how does it feel to be one-zero? Any different?"
"I guess... I do kinda feel a little bigger and stronger. I think I got taller! It's weird..."
"You're all grown up." Dot sighed.
"Aw Dot - don't tease me!..." Enzo blushed. "I'm still a little kid..."
"I don't know..." she grinned, hugging him. "I think you're growing up pretty fast. I didn't want to tell you at the party, but there's something else... I thought I'd wait until the others were gone."
"What is it?" Enzo frowned.
Dot reached into her pocket. "I wasn't really sure you were old enough, but I think you can handle it. It's Dad's code key - his command codes. I think he'd want you to have it."
"D-Dad's?" Enzo whispered. "These are Dad's command codes?"
"You're a Matrix." she said softly, stroking his cheek. "He'd be proud of you. The way you're growing up, becoming a fine young man. I think you should have them."
"Really? Thanks, Dot! Aren't you, you know - worried? That I'll screw up, lose 'em or drop 'em in a data stream-"
"If I was, I wouldn't have given them to you. I trust you, Enzo. By rights, they're yours. I have my own, now. You're Daddy's son. And you look more like him every upgrade..."
"Really?" he whispered, tearing his eyes away from the key to stare up at her.
"Really!" She kissed him on the cheek. "Say - are you wearing those pins to bed - on your PJs?"
"Uh - yeah!" he smiled sheepishly. "I thought I'd - you know..."
"Silly!" she giggled. "I think you're a really silly boy, you know that?"
"I am not!" he laughed defensively.
"I think you are!" she smirked, tweaking his nose.
"You're the silly one!" he countered. "Some Command.Com you are!"
"Silly!" she laughed, tickling him under the chin. The youngster screamed and kicked wildly. "Who's the silly one now, Birthday Boy?"
"Stop!" he pleaded. Smiling, Dot relented. "Why does everyone keep doing that?"
"Poor baby!" she chuckled, embracing him for a long nano. "D'you mind if I stay a while? It seems like we hardly ever have time to talk anymore. You're so busy with the games, school, all the new friends around. I've got the diner, everything else - sometimes it seems like I hardly ever see you..."
"Stay! That'd be alphanumeric." Enzo settled back in bed. "Thanks for the party, Dot - I had a lot of fun. And thanks for all the alphanumeric presents and everything."
"You're welcome. You only have one first birthday, Enzo - I wanted it to be special. Sorry it wasn't - you know, a bigger party-"
"It was perfect!"
"OK." she grinned, and they leaned against each other, shoulder to shoulder, in silence, for a few nanos. "Hey, you!" she said after a moment, tapping his chin.
"What?" he grinned expectantly.
"I love you, you know that?"
"Sure..." he blushed.
"Good! It's just - I want to tell you that. I don't often enough. None of us do, Enzo, and once the cycles are gone, we never get them back..."
"Whadda you mean, Dot?"
"It's nothing, don't worry." she sighed, tousling his hair. "I missed you so much, when you were gone. Both you and your brother. I didn't pass a single cycle where I didn't think how I'd do anything - give anything - just to see you again, just for a few nanos. And I thought I never would. And then, one day, there you were. Both of you."
Enzo blinked away a tear. "It must've been lonely. And scary. I wish I'd been with you..."
"It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. I thought it was mine, sometimes. But it wasn't. It just happened." She took the boy's face in her hands. "You're so important to me, Enzo - you'll never know how much you mean to me. You don't need to think about it every cycle, but never doubt it. No matter what happens, I'll never stop loving you with all my heart."
"I love you too." he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. "You're the best, Dot. I'm sorry you were alone all that time. I'll never leave you, I promise..."
"I know." she sighed, holding his cheek against her own. "You don't have to promise me anything, Sweetie. I know..."
"Are you crying?" Enzo asked huskily.
"Are you?" she chuckled softly, squeezing him with all her might. "My little brother..."
"I'm not crying! I'm just tired, that's all."
"Me too." she smiled. She reluctantly relaxed her embrace and reclined back in the bed. Enzo leaned back and rested his head against her shoulder, saying nothing. After a few moments, Dot wrapped an arm around him and began humming, softly.
Enzo closed his eyes and smiled slightly, letting the soothing melody wash over him and guide him gently towards sleep. "What is that?" he whispered dreamily. "It's nice..."
"That?" Dot said softly, surprised. "It's just a little song I know. I just thought of it, for some reason..." She began singing, softly at first.
"There's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are,
Baby, sometimes love just isn't enough"
"Keep going?" Dot smiled. Enzo nodded sleepily.
"Now I could never change you,
I don't want to blame you
Baby, you don't have to take the fall
Yes, I may have hurt you,
But I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all,
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain,
And like a fool who'll never see the truth,
I keep hoping nothing's gonna change"
Dot smiled down at Enzo, her voice rising in tenor and pitch.
"And there's no way home,
When it's late at night and you're alone
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know, it's their heart you can't touch
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are,
Cause Baby, sometimes love just isn't enough"
Dot took a deep breath and chuckled sheepishly. "Well... That's my career as a singer over, I guess..."
"That was real pretty." Enzo said softly. "But it's - I dunno... kinda sad, somehow."
Dot frowned. "Maybe it is... How about I sing you another one? Or would you rather I end file already?"
"No - that'd be awesome!" Enzo smiled.
"Hmm. OK, then. This is a good one - I wrote it for you. For your birthday, actually. Your other first birthday."
"You wrote a song?" Enzo looked up at her sleepily. "Coolness! Sing it for me!"
"Well... OK." she grinned. "Hoo! I'm a little out of practice." She hummed the tune softly for a few nanos, then started to sing in a soft, gentle voice.
"He's all right,
He's okay,
He's the sprite that brightens our day,
There's no doubt,
Girls you better watch out!
He's alphanumeric..."
"You wrote that for me?" Enzo grinned, perking up. "Awesome! I didn't know you wrote songs, Dot..."
"Only for very special people." she laughed. "I wrote a verse for Bob, too..."
"You're the best,
And it shows,
And the rest don't even come close,
Yes it's true,
There's no one like you,
You're alphanumeric..."
"Cool!" Enzo giggled.
"One more verse for the birthday boy." she smiled.
"You're the tip of the top,
The cream of the crop,
And I just gotta say...
"Stop laughing, you!"
"That it's true
There's no one like you...
Dot leaned down and gently kissed the boy on the nose, grinning.
You're alphanumeric!"
"You wrote that?" Enzo smiled. "You're totally cool, Dot!"
"I had good inspiration." she laughed. The youngster burrowed his head against her shoulder and yawned. Dot stretched out, getting comfortable. She wrapped him gently in her arms and closed her eyes. "Sleep tight, Little Brother."
"Love you." he mumbled sleepily, lifting his head and kissing her on the cheek.
"Love you too." she whispered, and deleted the light.
"Don't be so upset, Honey - you're going to miss a game here and there." Dot smiled at me. "This isn't the Academy! You've still got a life, responsibilities."
"Bob needs me, and where am I? In a spreadsheet class. Spreadsheets! What kind of Guardian am I?"
"You're a fine Guardian!" She sat next to me in the booth and hugged me. I couldn't really be mad at her - I knew she was just trying to make me feel better, but it was the worst thing she could have done. "Enzo, you're still just a kid. I'm sorry, but it's true. We agreed at the beginning that you weren't going to let this-"
"Cursors! That's the problem - I'm just a kid. Why Bob even bothers to-"
"Stop it! Compile up, Enzo. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself. You know, if you _were_ at the Academy you'd have to take all kinds of classes, not just games! Just because you're a cadet doesn't mean you put the rest of your life in permanent archive mode. Right?"
"Right..." I sighed. "I just get frustrated, that's all. I wanna help him..."
"I know. And you help him plenty. But Bob has been in a lot of games by himself, Enzo. He can take care of things on his own if he has to, don't you think?"
"Yeah." That was part of the problem. I was never sure just how much I really _was_ helping Bob. I knew he'd never say anything to hurt my feelings, so how could I tell if I was just a totally basic screw-up as a cadet?
Dot, as usual, could read my mind. It gave me the jaggies, sometimes. "Don't worry, Little Brother. You're doing great - Bob tells me so every cycle. He's really proud of how you're handling things."
"Really?" I whispered, looking over at her for the first time. Dot wasn't exactly keen to hurt my feelings either, but she'd always been pretty plain DOS with me. "Does he really say that?"
"I'd never lie to you, Enzo - never. You can believe me." she smiled. She took my face in her hands, which I hated and loved at the same time. "You're so proud, aren't you? It means so much to you..."
"Dot..."
"Sorry! I just can't get over it, Enzo. I never got the chance to watch you grow up last time, you know. Every cycle you discover yourself a little more. It's like a miracle, you're changing so fast."
"Dot!" I could feel myself blushing like crazy. She was embarrassing the data out of me.
"Am I embarrassing you?" she laughed. "I'm sorry, I'll stop it. How about an energy shake? I'll throw some java beans in it, just the way you like it..."
GAME OVER
"Cool!" I climbed over the table and headed for the door, grabbing my surfboard on the fly. "Comin', Dot?"
"Right behind you!" I heard her laughing. The cube was in sector one-one, just a few nanos away. I hopped on the board and took off. I could hear Dot's zip board right behind me. That was one of the cool thing's about Mouse's board - it was totally quiet. "Wait up!" Dot called.
"Sorry!" I slowed down and let her catch up. We took off side by side and after only a nano I saw Bob zipping towards the Principal Office. That was weird - we always went to the diner after a game, or at least to Al's if the cube hit over in that part of town. "Bob! Bob, wait up!" I shouted.
Bob looked over his shoulder and hovered, letting us catch up. "Bob, I'm sorry I wasn't in the game! I was in school, I was too far away-"
"Don't worry about that, Enzo. It's no big file." he said, starting off towards the P.O. again. "We've got other things to worry about."
"What do you mean?" Dot frowned. "Anything happen in the game? Are you hurt? Slow down!"
"I'm fine." he said gruffly. He wasn't acting like Bob at all.
"Bob? What's the matter?" He couldn't be mad at me, could he? "You're acting weird-"
"I'm worried, Enzo. Remember that game you were in with Matrix - with the infected User?"
Like I could forget. "Yeah..."
"Well, it happened again." he said with a grim smile. My stomach started rolling big time. "Almost didn't notice till it was too late - stupid of me. The whole thing was off from the first nano, after I thought about it."
He hopped off his board and we walked into the P.O. Dot and I hurried to catch up. "Bob!" Dot shouted. "What happened? Another infected User? How-"
"Yep. And that's not the worst of it, either."
"Not - the worst?" I gulped. What could be worse?
"No." Bob sighed. "It's not the first time I've seen it. Remember that game a couple of minutes ago - the 3-D chess one? You were in school then too."
"What about it?" I demanded.
"Infected. I'm sorry, Enzo - I didn't tell you. Didn't want to worry you."
"Not worry me? We're supposed to be partners!" I protested. "How-"
"Enzo!" Dot snapped, like she meant business. I shut up. "Bob didn't tell you because we thought it might be an isolated case. It's been so long since the first time-"
"_You_ knew too?" I cried. I knew I should be worried about more important stuff, but I was really hurt.
"I'm sorry, Cadet - but it's not important now. That's twice in a few minutes - I can't chalk this up to coincidence any more. It's obvious things are getting worse out there."
"That is not a good way to begin a conversation, My Children." Phong sighed as we entered the Command Center. "Was there a problem with the game?"
"Infected, Phong. Damn! I feel so cut off here - I wish we had some form of communications to the net. Haven't heard a byte since Turbo was here..."
"This is pretty serious, Bob." Dot sighed. "If the games are affected this drastically, maybe it would be better if-"
"No! Don't even think about it!" I shouted. That mind reading thing with Dot and me worked both ways, sometimes. "Bob needs my help even more now!"
"Calmness, Child!" Phong said softly, patting my hand. "Do not torture yourself over such concerns. All of our strength will be needed in the cycles ahead. Sadly, I am certain of that fact..."
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, feeling embarrassed. Every time I tried to be a grown-up, I wound up acting like a basic little kid. "It's just that I want to help, that's all. This is why I've been training, isn't it?"
"I know how you feel, Enzo. It makes me glad that I can count on you." Bob smiled at me. "Don't worry, we'll figure out a way to beat this virus. We always have before."
There was a beeping from the console, and Phong leaned over and opened a vidwindow. "Principal Office."
There were two binomes in black suits in the window, a man and a woman. I'd never seen them before, but the others seemed to know them. I saw Bob and Dot tense up. "Well - glad everyone's together." the male said in a kind of smooth mumble.
"Agent Modem. Agent Nully." Phong said softly. "What may we do for you?"
"Phong." the female answered. "We have some bad news, I'm afraid."
"What kind of news, Nully?" Bob asked, like he knew the answer.
"It seems that we've received another visit - from some old friends." the other one - I guessed he must be Modem - smirked. "I thought you should be the first to know, Guardian."
"Bob!" Dot gasped. Phong put his head in his hands. I wasn't sure exactly what the two binomes were talking about, but I knew it had to be bad - very bad.
"This is bad - _very_ bad." Bob sighed. I felt Dot squeeze my shoulder. I didn't exactly know it right then, but things would never be the same for me. For any of us.
"Well, good morning, Sleepyhead!" Dot giggled as Enzo stumbled upstairs into the diner. "It's almost nine hundred, you know! I thought you were never coming online."
"I know, I know." the youngster yawned. He slouched onto a stool and buried his head in his hands. "Man! I think I had too much birthday cake yesterday. I feel totally low-res..."
"And if I may say, Young Sir - you look even worse!" Cecil huffed. "I am afraid you will scare off ze customers!"
"Give the boy a break, Cecil!" Dot grinned. "There's nothing like a junk food hangover to drain the life out of a kid - right Enzo?"
"You don't have to look so happy about it." the boy grumbled.
"You're right. I'm sorry." she replied, suppressing her smile. "I have just the cure for you - an energy shake. To go. You're late for school."
"Aw Dot - can't I stay home today? Maybe a late birthday present?"
"Sorry, Mister - you want people to treat you like a grown-up, you've gotta take care of your responsibilities." Dot grinned. She lifted the boy's chin. "Right?"
"OK, OK..." Enzo sighed, mustering a weak smile. The Command.Com handed him am energy shake and a sack lunch. "Thanks, Dot."
"You're welcome. And make sure you eat all of your lunch - you need the energy! I never thought I'd be saying that..."
"OK, see ya later." the boy yawned, standing and heading towards the door. Bob stepped into the diner just as Enzo reached the exit. "Hi Bob!" the boy grinned, perking up a little. "What's processing?"
"Not much. How's the Birthday Boy?"
"Great!" Enzo beamed. Dot rolled her eyes. The boy coughed and stuck his chest out, subtly. "Uh - what's new, Bob?"
"Not much, not much..." Bob mused. "Say - aren't those the pins I gave you last cycle?"
"Yeah! How do they look?"
"Pretty cool!" Bob laughed.
"He wore them to bed last night..."
"Dot!" Enzo blushed.
"Don't worry about her, Enzo." Bob grinned. "I'll tell you a secret..." he leaned down and whispered in the boy's ear. "When I first got my Cadet uniform, I wore it to bed every night for almost a minute!"
"Really?"
"Really!"
"Enzo - school? You're late!" Dot sighed.
"OK, OK." Enzo grumbled. "See you later, Bob!"
"Bye, Enzo!" Bob laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. Dot joined him in the doorway and they watched him for a nano.
"You boys and your little secrets!" Dot grumbled, poking the Guardian with an elbow. "I have a hard enough time keeping his head on his shoulders without you encouraging him!"
"Hey -what'd I do?" Bob protested.
"Never mind. Java?"
"Sure." he smiled, joining her at the bar. "So Enzo enjoyed his birthday party? He looked a little rough just now."
"Overdid the sugar, I think." Dot giggled, sliding a steaming mug of java in front of the Guardian. "He seemed to have a good time..."
"He liked his gifts?"
"A lot. He was pestering me to let him ride that surfboard to school for milliseconds last night. Remind me to specifically thank Mouse for that later..."
"He'll be all right." Bob chuckled. "Did he really wear my medals to bed last night?"
"Yep." Dot sighed. "He really loved them, Bob - he actually pinned them to his pajamas! It was a wonderful gesture, but I wish you'd told me you were going to do it."
"Why? Would you have asked me not to?"
"I don't know. Maybe..."
"But - why?" Bob protested. It seemed nothing he did lately was destined to please any Matrix - except Enzo. "You said yourself how much it meant to him-"
"Please, Bob - don't get defensive! I'm not criticizing. I just wish I'd known. I would have liked to have talked about it first."
"Look - I'm sorry. Enzo's been working very hard, and I just wanted to show him some encouragement. That I believed in him. If I stepped over a partition, I apologize."
"You don't have to apologize." Dot smiled, patting the Guardian's hand. "Enzo's getting more confidence in himself every cycle, Bob - and you've had a lot to do with that. It hasn't been easy for him, with no other little sprites around. I'm very grateful..."
"It's not like it's been such a terrible ordeal for me, you know. It's been easy. Enzo's a great kid - you know the two of you mean the net to me-"
"I know." she sighed. "I've tried to help Enzo develop the best I could, Bob - but it's been rough. I couldn't be like a father for him - it was hard enough to try and be like a mother."
"You've done great!" Bob squeezed her hand. "Enzo's very lucky to have you..."
"And you. And I appreciate it. But..."
"There's always a but, isn't there?" the Guardian moaned. "But what?"
The Command.Com ran her hands over her face wearily. "Bob... What do think is going to happen now? What's next?"
"What do you mean?" he frowned.
"Sometimes I think we're kidding ourselves. Processing on borrowed time. What chance do we have if Daemon finds us? We're just a small system - Megabyte nearly destroyed us, and he isn't even a flicker in Daemon's eye. She's even infected the games now! When she turns her attention to us-"
"Stop!" Bob commanded, with uncharacteristic harshness. "You can't think that way. I fought too long and too hard to survive the web, to get back here - I'll never let Daemon win. Never. If we never give up, she'll never win. But if we give up-"
"But they're just words, Bob. Daemon has destroyed the Guardian Collective already - how can you possibly stand against her? You're only one man!"
"There's Matrix." Bob frowned. "He's a Guardian too, you know. Mouse is the best at what she does. So are you and Phong. And Enzo's learning a lot-"
"Enzo... He's only a little boy, Bob. I'm glad he's going into the games - it's building his confidence, making him a better person. But what's his future? Have you given it any thought?"
"Of course." Bob nodded. "Haven't you?"
"You bet your bitmap! But I asked you first. The medals, calling him 'Cadet' - where does it all lead, Bob?"
"You mean-"
"You know what I mean. I know there's no Academy right now, but are you thinking of downloading the protocols to Enzo?"
"I'd never do that unless you agreed!" Bob protested. "You know I wouldn't!"
Dot smiled ruefully and shook her head. "Between the two of you, you can be an irresistible force. But answer my question - are you thinking about it?"
"I have thought about it." Bob admitted. "I'm trying to think of what's best for Enzo, Dot - the best way to prepare him for what's ahead. What might be ahead. I want to be fair to him..."
"So do I. And do you think that means making him a cadet?"
"If there _were_ an Academy, he'd almost be of age." Bob said softly. "It's not like he's a baby anymore."
"But there isn't an Academy. In the Academy, he wouldn't have to worry about live games and viruses - not until he had minutes of training and experience. Would he?"
"No..."
"You did it once before, Bob - you made him a cadet."
"But we agreed! There was a war on, and besides, we thought the Academy was still online!"
"I know." she sighed. "So what's your answer? Knowing there's no Academy, what's best for Enzo? What if Mainframe has to go to war again?"
"I don't know. I'm honestly not sure, Dot. I do think that Enzo would be able to defend himself and the system better if he had the protocols in his code. When he's ready, I mean."
"Wouldn't that put him in more danger - if he were a Guardian? If we were attacked?"
Bob rested his chin in his hands and said nothing for a long nano. "Possibly. It's possible. But we're going to need all the help we can get, Dot. And it'd kill him if he couldn't fight, couldn't help out. He'd hate himself, and he'd hate us too..."
"_That_ I can live with." she answered softly. "So what, then - do you want to do it? Do you want to make him a cadet?"
"Dot-"
"Please, Bob - answer me."
"Dot, I... No. Not right away, anyway. He's still too young, too inexperienced. He needs to learn control, discipline. Not that he isn't getting better."
"Not now - but eventually?"
He stared at her for several moments. "Yes. Eventually, I think so. I think he deserves a chance, and I think he'll make a fine Guardian."
"Eventually... And what if Daemon forces our hand? What if everything hits the cooling fan next cycle?"
"I don't know, Dot!" Bob sighed. "You don't know. You can't prepare for every eventuality. In the meantime I'm just trying to help him grow up, and be his friend. Is that wrong?"
"Of course not." she smiled weakly. "And you think you can complete his training - on your own? If need be?"
"Well - I can only do my best. I'm not the Academy, but he'll never have a teacher who cares more about him, I can promise you. We could wait forever, but there's not going to be an Academy until we settle Daemon."
Dot grabbed his hand in both of hers and stared silently ahead. Bob watched her for a moment. "Dot... what's the matter? Say something, you're giving me the jaggies!"
The Command.Com turned her head slowly and smiled slightly. Without a word, she reached her hands behind Bob's neck and drew his face close to her own. She kissed him long and passionately, seeing to draw the very breath from his lungs. The Guardian saw a cascade of pixels dancing before him, and when Dot finally pulled her lips from his, he was left panting and gasping for air.
"D-Dot! What - what was that for?" Even Cecil had ceased his rounds and was watching, slack-jawed.
"I dreamed about you, you know." she said softly. "Every night, after you were gone. Even after I'd given up hope that you were still processing, the dreams never stopped."
"Dot?"
"I love you." she continued. "I love how you're brave, and sweet, and how you always think you're doing the right thing even when you're not. I love the way you care about Enzo, how you think about him and help him and how you make him feel ten spans tall and how good it makes you feel to see him smile. I love your face, your hair, your eyes, your skin, even your eyebrows. I love you."
"I - I love you too, Dot. I-"
"I just want you to understand that, Bob. Do you understand?"
"Dot, I-"
"Do you understand?" Dot demanded, louder this time.
"Yes, of course. I understand." he smiled, puzzled.
"Good." she sighed. "That's important. Bob, Enzo and I have been alone for a very long time. He's lived almost his whole life without parents - without a mother and father. Before you came along, without even a real best friend."
"I know..."
"Bob, Enzo needs me. No matter what happens, he's always had me to depend on. Matrix didn't always, but Enzo does..." A shadow flickered in her eyes, just for a nano. "No matter what else happens, I'm going to put Enzo first. Before you, before me, before anything. Do you understand?"
"I - Of course I do..."
"Do you? Because I've never been more serious about anything in my life. I'll always protect that little boy, Bob - always. I'd do anything for him. I'd die for him. I'd kill for him. Whatever I have to do - even if it makes Enzo hate me, for a while. I can process with that. But I'm all he has, when push comes to shove. And that's always going to be my number one responsibility. I'm his Guardian. To mend and defend."
Bob was a little taken aback by Dot's uncharacteristic ferocity. "I'd never do anything to hurt Enzo, Dot. You know that. Never."
"Do you understand, Bob?" Dot said, almost pleadingly. "Do you understand why this is so important to me?"
"I -I know how hard it must have been for you, all these minutes. Being his whole family. Did you make a promise, to your parents-"
Dot chuckled harshly. "I never had the time, Bob. My parents were here one nano, and they were gone the next. Just like that. There wasn't time for any long, tearful good-byes..."
The Guardian tried desperately to get inside Dot's anger, to understand it. "I'm sorry..."
"There were no promises, Bob." she said softly, staring holes through him. "My parents are dead. Nullified. They don't matter. Enzo is alive - by a miracle almost beyond miracles, but he's alive. He matters. That's why I'm telling you this, so you'll understand... My parents are dead. Matrix is a man, now - I love him, but he can take care of himself. Enzo needs me. I'll never let him down, Bob - I can't let him down. Never."
"You never have." Bob whispered.
"Maybe." she laughed bitterly, standing. "Well... That's enough speech making for one morning. I have duties in the P.O. You coming?"
"In a nano." he answered. She smiled wearily and stepped through the doors of the diner. Bob watched her as she stepped onto her zip board and slowly disappeared into the distance. "I don't think Daemon had better cross Dot. I sure wouldn't want to see her if she really got her dander up..."
"Indeed, Sir." Cecil tittered, startling the Guardian. "It is a most unsettling sight, I can assure you. Now - are you going to order, or not?"
"Hey, Sparky - gimmee a hand over here, will you?"
"What?" Matrix called out.
"I need you to come in here and start Bob's car! I think I've got the interocitor problem figured out. It just needs a little more spike in the coils. Come here and start it when I tell you!"
"Aw, Andri - I'm just getting comfortable!" Matrix shouted. "You'll never get that thing running anyways..."
"Matrix, get off your ASCII and get down here!" AndrAIa called back.
The door to the apartment opened, and Enzo burst through. "Hey, Matrix!"
"Hi, Sprout. What's processing? Have fun at school?"
"Why do you call me that when you know I hate it?" Enzo sighed.
"Sorry!" Matrix laughed. "It just seems to fit, that's all. Sounds a lot like 'Sprite' when you think about it. And a little sprite like you - well, there you go. Perfect."
"Matrix!" Enzo pouted.
"Matrix, are you coming down here or not? Oh, Hi Enzo." AndrAIa walked into the apartment, carrying a wrench and a filthy rag.
"Hi AndrAIa!" the boy grinned. "What're you doing?"
"Mostly trying to get your brother to move his ASCII off the couch and help me fix Bob's car." the game sprite smiled wryly. "What about you?"
"Just on my way home from school. Is Bob around?"
"No - I think he's at the P.O." she replied. "So how's it feel to be one-zero, Birthday Boy? Any different?"
"I guess." the youngster answered, shuffling his feet nervously. "Thanks for the shell, AndrAIa - it's pixelacious! I'm gonna keep it with me, wherever I go. Are you sure you want me to have it? I mean, it's from your game an' everything. If you want me to give it back-"
"Enzo!" the girl laughed. "Of course I want you to have it. I wanted to give you something that was special to me - you know, really important. Because that's what you are. Understand?"
"Sure." he blushed. "Thanks..."
"No prob. You want a shake, or something? Some chips?"
"No thanks - I'm cool."
"OK, then - I'll let you guys talk." she smiled. "I'm this close to getting that car to run like a Vincent Black Lightning. Now that's a motorbike!"
"What is it with you and motorbikes?" Enzo laughed.
"Funny - that sounds familiar! Stop by downstairs and talk to me before you go, okay?"
"Promise!" Enzo watched the game sprite until she was out of sight, then bounced onto the couch next to Matrix. "What're you doing?"
"Not much... Trying to relax, mostly. What about you?"
"I'm sitting here talking to you!" Enzo giggled. "Aren't these pins totally cool, Matrix? They're alphanumeric! I can't believe Bob gave 'em to me!"
"Yeah, me neither..."
"He made you a cadet, huh? That must've been totally alphanumeric!" Enzo sighed, looking at the bearded sprite's icon longingly. "I bet you never wanted to reboot out of your uniform, huh?"
"I thought I never would, I guess." Matrix said softly.
"I wish Bob would make me a cadet." Enzo frowned. "D'you think he ever will, Enzo?" It still felt funny for the boy, to call Matrix that - but the big sprite had said it was OK...
Matrix arched an eyebrow. "Enzo, that was a very tough time for... for all of us. When Bob did that, we were at war. And he thought I'd be going to the Academy. If he'd known what - what was... going to happen, he wouldn't have done it. You wouldn't understand..."
"I understand!" Enzo protested. "But I still wish he would. I'd do a real good job, I promise! I'd work really hard-"
"It's impossible, Enzo." Matrix said firmly. "Don't work yourself up over something that's never going to happen!"
"How do you know it'll never happen? It might happen! There'll be an Academy again some cycle, and then-"
"OK, OK." Matrix sighed. "Maybe it'll happen. But I still don't think you should worry about it right now. Plenty of other stuff to worry about..."
"Whatever!" Enzo grumbled. Matrix could be so irritating, sometimes... The boy cast a furtive glance at his older self, then reclined back against his shoulder. "Enzo, I was thinking, maybe... You know. After it's all over, and we kick Daemon's bitmap..."
"Yeah?"
"Well - I was thinking maybe we could both go to the Academy. You and me! Wouldn't that be alphanumeric? We'd show 'em something about being Guardians then! For Bob!"
"I can't go to the Academy, Little Brother." Matrix said softly.
"What? Why not?"
Matrix smiled, but looked away from the boy next to him. "I'm too old, Enzo. They don't take cadets my age. That's never going to happen."
"That's basic!" Enzo snarled. "Totally low-density! Couldn't Bob make them-"
"No Enzo!" Matrix said firmly. "That's never going to happen. I've accepted it. Besides, there is no Academy and there isn't gonna be one for a long time. Probably till you're too old to be a cadet. So stop driving yourself offline about it and worry about stuff you can control."
"That's not true!" Enzo shouted. "There is gonna be an Academy, and I'm gonna go! You don't know everything! Why would Bob be training me if he didn't think I was gonna be a Guardian, huh? Tell me, Nullbreath!"
"Calm down!" Matrix hissed. He grasped the youngster's shoulders firmly and tried to control the emotions that were roiling through his own processor. "I'm sorry, Enzo. You're right - I don't know. Maybe there will be an Academy soon. I guess it's possible. Don't get all offline on me, okay?"
"OK!" Enzo growled. "You don't know everything..."
"Neither do you! But I'm sorry, all right? Let's not fight about it. Let's talk about something else..."
"Fine." Enzo sighed. He hated fighting with Matrix. He forced himself to think about all the time Matrix had been alone in the net with AndrAIa, and how hard it must have been. That was why he was such a null - he couldn't help it. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you-"
"I know." Matrix grinned, wrapping an arm around the youngster's shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Little Brother. I've been through a lot worse."
"I know." Enzo said softly, prompting a raised eyebrow from his older self. "Enzo, since Bob isn't around, and there's no game cube..."
"Yeah?" the bearded sprite asked warily.
"Can you show me some - some fighting tricks and stuff? I bet you learned all kinds of cool things out there..."
"No, Enzo! I thought we'd been through this!"
"But - why?" Enzo frowned. "I just wanna learn how to take care of myself, y'know, like you do-"
"No, Enzo. I only did those things because I didn't have any choice. Not because I wanted to. I don't want you thinking that's the right way to act. Whatever I did, I did to survive. It's not something I want you thinking about."
"But-"
"No buts. End file, quit program. Understand?"
"Fine!" The youngster turned away for a nano and surreptitiously stuck out his tongue. "Matrix, can I see your gun?"
Matrix groaned. "Gun isn't a toy, Sprout! It deletes people! Understand? That's a very bad thing! Very bad!"
"I just wanna see it!" Enzo protested.
"Go help AndrAIa." Matrix whispered, eyes closed.
"What?"
"Go help AndrAIa in the garage. Help her with Bob's car. She's been nagging me about if for seconds."
"All right..." Enzo said softly. He rose and slowly walked over to the door. "See you later?" he asked, looking over his shoulder.
"Sure. See you later." Matrix answered, not opening his eyes. Enzo stared at him for a nano, then disappeared through the door.
"Are ya sure, Love?" Ray frowned. The bunk in Ship wasn't really meant for two sprites, but the hacker and surfr looked comfortable enough. Somehow, it had never been a problem.
"Pretty sure, Sugar. I'm about goin' stir crazy round here. I don't think I ever been fixed in one spot so long since I was knee high to a binome. But I ain't gonna make you do nothin' you don't wanna do..."
"I won't pretend I haven't grown fond of the place." Ray sighed. "And the people. But it's a place, Love. Places don't matter. I'm a search engine - I was gonna move on sooner or later anyway. Can't go against my programming."
"Sooner or later, huh? But I bet it woulda been later, wouldn't it Honey?"
"Maybe. But it's all data in the stream."
"I reckon." Mouse sighed. "It ain't my place to interfere here anyway, Sugar. I'm just a party crasher. And if I don't like the way things are processin', well mebbe it's time to put my talents to work elsewhere. Still plenty o' stuff needs to be done around the net, Collective or no. This is Bob's show, not mine."
"Maybe you should take a little more time - think about it." the surf said softly. "There ain't any rush, is there?"
"All the time in the world, Lover." Mouse smiled, and kissed him long and hard.
"This is totally cool, Bob!" Enzo enthused. "I've never seen game like this! Where are we?" The sky above was lit by a thousand glimmering multicolored lights, which danced merrily across the horizon. Enzo was amazed - they seemed to change before his very eyes, a hundred times a nano. "What is this place?"
There was no answer. Enzo looked around , confused. Bob was with him, wasn't he? He'd been sure of it! But where was he? "Bob? Bob?"
Frowning, the boy began walking. He was startled to realize that there was no solid ground beneath his sneakers - what he'd thought was a sky above him was actually all round him, and he was a part of it. "Cool..." he whispered. "Bob? Are you here? Should I reboot?"
There was still no sign of Bob, or anyone else, but the sea of sky the youngster was swimming in was slowly beginning to change form. The glimmering lights began to coalesce into vast clouds of energy, glaring against the darkness around them. Then the darkness itself began to take on forms, shapes - a mass of writhing, gray-black tentacles, wrapping around each other in a bizarre dance.
Enzo began to feel very frightened. What kind of game was this? A faint rustling sound began to fill the air around him. The boy felt himself begin to tremble. The rustling was joined by a distant, almost imperceptible sound of laughter. Enzo's breath began to come in ragged gasps as panic rose to the surface. "Reboot, I've got to reboot!" he mumbled, reaching for his icon.
It was gone! The boy ripped off his cap, searching desperately, but the icon was absent - vanished without a trace. "No!" Enzo gasped. Frantically he searched his body, to no avail.
"You won't find it - Boy." a low voice said from behind him. "You will have no identity here but what I say you shall."
Enzo cried out in fear and spun. There was only darkness behind him. "Bob!" he shouted desperately.
"You won't find him, either." the voice chuckled, again behind him. "You're alone here. Boy - just as I've been for all this time. Alone in this void. I'm sure you'll grow used to it..."
Enzo spun again, panting desperately. A tall, muscular figure emerged from the darkness, teeth glinting in a disdainful grin. "Thought yourself rid of me - didn't you, Boy?"
"No!" Enzo screamed. "No! It's not possible!"
"But is is, Child." the tall figure in blue smiled. "I see you've taken to playing the games. Very good. It will only serve you into my clutches that much faster."
"No..." the youngster whispered. "You're deleted! They told me so!"
"Is that what they told you, Boy?" the virus chuckled, circling the child thoughtfully. "No, I'm merely waiting. Waiting for you."
"W-waiting?"
"But of course. I've sent you beaten to the net once - I can certainly do so again. I can afford to be patient."
"B-but - but that wasn't me! It was him!" Enzo protested.
"Indeed. You can't seriously believe there's a difference, can you Boy?" Megabyte laughed. "You are mine, Enzo Matrix - just as you have always been, just as you always will be. Go ahead, play your games, even put on a fancy uniform if you like. It makes no difference. Convince yourself of your skill. Tell yourself you're a Guardian. You'll only be laying down at my feet that much sooner! And your little dog, too..."
"No!" Enzo screamed. "No - it's a lie! I beat you once, and I'll beat you again! You'll never win!"
"Oh, bra-vo!" Megabyte chuckled. "A fine performance, Boy! Most convincing. Have your fun, while you can. I'll be waiting. I've been waiting here for a very long time. But Bob won't be around to protect you forever, will he? You never beat me, Boy - you can't beat me. Not even the ones that told you those outrageous lies believe you can. It's only a matter of time."
"You're wrong!" Enzo panted. "You must be! You were deleted! You're not real..."
In a flash, the virus shot out his right arm and grabbed the boy by the front of his shirt, lifting him, kicking and struggling, off the ground. "Oh, but I am. Your time will come, Matrix. Then it will be you who waits in this hell for eternity - after I send you here. Where will your Bob be to protect you then? Eternity is a long time, Boy..."
Laughing, the virus lifted his left arm and extended a single claw. "Heh heh! Keep playing your games, Boy - just like before. I'll be waiting! In the meantime, it would be rude of me not to leave you something to remember our little encounter..." Megabyte brought his talon in a sweeping arc towards the boy's eye.
"No!" Enzo screamed, with all his might.
"Enzo! Enzo, what is it? What's the matter? Enzo!"
"Nooo...." Enzo wailed, flailing in the grip of his captor. Something held him down. "Let me go! No!"
"Enzo! It's all right! It's me, Enzo! Calm down!"
"What?" Enzo gasped, disoriented. The voice was familiar, it wasn't Megabyte's at all. He felt two arms close around him.
"Shhh!" the voice whispered. It was Dot. "You just had a bad dream, that's all. You're fine, Sweetie. I'm here."
"Dot?" Enzo whispered, opening his eyes to his darkened room. A dream... He heard himself sob once. ~Don't cry - don't be a little sprite!~ "I'm f-fine, I'm OK..."
"I know. It was just a dream." Dot said softly, rocking him gently in her embrace. "It must have been a doozy - you're shaking like a leaf!"
Enzo relaxed, sunk into his sister's arms. He felt his breathing gradually slow. "Thanks, Sis. I'm fine, thanks. It was just a dream..."
Dot smiled down at him in the dusky light. "Feeling better?" Enzo nodded. She gently lowered him back into his docking bay, brushing the damp hair out of his eyes. "Do you think you can get back to sleep? Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I'm OK." the youngster said, smiling weakly. With a start, he bolted upright and reached for the top of his head, and felt only hair there. "Where is it? Where is it?!"
"What? Where's what? What's the matter?" Dot hissed in alarm.
Enzo's eyes darted about the room desperately, finally falling on his cap, hanging on the bedpost behind him. He grabbed it and clutched it to his chest. "I'm fine. I'm fine..." he panted. "It's OK."
"Are you sure?" Dot frowned. This was all very strange... "Do you want me to stay a while? You're still a little upset-"
"No!" Enzo said, relaxing as he clutched his icon in his hands. "Thanks, but it's OK. I'm fine." What kind of future Guardian Cadet needed his big sister to stay with him after a bad dream?
"If you're sure..." Dot said dubiously. Enzo smiled weakly up at her. With a puzzled smile of reply, she kissed him on the cheek and stood. "Good night, then. Are you - are you going to keep your cap in bed with you?"
"Yeah." Enzo answered. "I just kinda feel like sleeping with my cap tonight."
"If you say so." she sighed. Boys were so strange, sometimes... "You're sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine. Thanks for staying with me, Dot."
"You're welcome." she smiled, starting for the door. "Good night."
"Dot?"
"Yes, Enzo?"
The boy smiled sheepishly. "Could you, uh... Could you leave the door open?" Dot nodded and left, shaking her head. Enzo sighed and lay back in bed, closing his eyes, still holding his cap to his chest.
We were in the Command Center - Bob, Dot, Phong and I - when the vidwindow opened. It made me feel terribly guilty, but I'd never been more excited in my life. All the cycles of waiting, planning, being afraid - and now, finally, we were going to face our enemy down. I knew, in my heart, that between us we could never lose to Daemon. She didn't know what she was up against, but _I_ did. Bob, Dot and Phong - I knew how smart and brave they all were. I knew what they'd survived before. I only wished the others were there, with us.
The other reason I was so excited was that they weren't even trying to kick me out for the good stuff now. Maybe it was because the others were gone, and they didn't have any choice - I'm pretty sure it was. But hey, I was a Guardian - I had the protocols, the icon. I had Bob's training, and I was going to be fighting at their side. User forgive me, but it's what I wanted. I was such a stupid little sprite...
Anyways, like I said the vidwindow opened. It was Hex. Just seeing her made my circuits boil. I knew what she'd done to Bob, to all of us. I knew she couldn't be trusted. Maybe the others had forgotten, but I never would. And now she was supposed to be helping us?
"My, isn't this lovely!" she smirked. "Our dedicated core of defenders, hard at work to stave off the viral invasion. And what's this - a new Guardian in our midst? They're letting you eat at the grown-up table now - how sweet! You look just darling in your uniform, Love!"
"Get deleted, Hexadismal!" I blurted out. User help me, but she made me mad!
"Enzo!" Phong scolded. "This is not the time-"
"Oh! Ho ho, ha ha!" Hex laughed. "Where's that Guardian discipline I've heard so much about, Bob? Aren't you recasting the child in your image?"
"I was wondering when we might be hearing from you, Hex." Bob smiled. As always, I was totally jealous of the way he managed to stay cool no matter what was going on. "I suppose you're aware the city has been infiltrated?"
"So much for your help!" I sneered.
"Of course, Boys. It's only through my generous assistance in helping you upgrade your pathetic defenses that it's taken so long for them to break through. But what to do now, hmmm? That seems to be the question of the cycle. Apparently your answer would be to allow the system to be overrun and all of you to be converted to viral codes-"
"Hexadecimal!" Phong snapped. "We have already expressed our gratitude to you for your previous assistance. But if you have nothing productive to add to this discussion-"
"Tsk! Temper temper, Old Sprite! You cannot begin to know the workings of the viral mind, for all your pompous pretensions. I shall be much more effective in saving all of our bitmaps if you scurrying rodents don't get in my way. But it is all a delaying action, I fear. How very sad..."
"What do you mean, Hex?" Bob asked sharply. "A delaying action?"
"My dear, sweet boy!" the virus cooed. Every word made me hate her more and more. Didn't she know how serious this was? "Your pathetic little attempts to repel Daemon's stormtroopers from Mainframe are a mere pittance - even in the unlikely event that they succeed. I know that you are all mere sprites - but surely even you can see that?"
Both Bob and I started to snap a reply, but Dot help up her hand and we were quiet. It was amazing, but when she was in her real Command.Com mode she was like a totally different sprite. Even Phong was a little scared of her when she got riled. "Hexadecimal, we're all here trying to save this system - again. Against odds that I'd rather not stop and process. And you don't seem very interested in helping. What are you suggesting - we roll over and let Daemon have the system unchallenged?"
"My Dear Dot - that's the first intelligent thing any of you has said!" Hex laughed. I looked over at the others, but they were as confused as I was.
"What exactly are you saying, Virus?" Phong said softly. "If you believe that Daemon will show mercy on you because of some sort of kinship-"
"Mercy? Oh ho ho ha! Ha haaaaa ha!" Hex screeched. "Thank you, Old Sprite - I needed a good laugh..."
"Hex-"
"Mercy is not a quality possessed by viruses, my silly fools." Hex smiled evenly. "And as for 'kinship' - I should think my _dear_ brother and I should have long ago disabused you of any notion of that!"
"So _what_ then?" I shouted. "What do you want us to do - nothing? Just sit here and do nothing? You'll be just as deleted as the rest of us, Hexadismal!"
"Aren't you precious!" she grinned. "Your acolyte is correct, Bob! And a child shall lead them..."
"What are you saying, Hex?" Bob snapped. "Enough games! The point?"
"What's this? Enough games? And you the brave Guardian warrior! Very well, I shall clarify what should already be obvious - you cannot defeat Daemon's forces, Children - they are too numerous, too powerful. If you should beat them back now, they shall only return in tenfold strength the next time."
My heart fell. She was right! What chance did we have? I tried to fight it, told myself that giving up was just what Hex wanted me to do. "How did they find us, Hex?" Bob asked. "How did they get in - do you know?" There was a hint of accusation in his voice.
"My Dear Boy - through one of your games, of course. A mere few cycles ago, when you won one of your silly games, you brought the virus back with you!"
"What?" Bob snapped. "But - how? Unless - one of the binomes was infected by the User?"
"Of course, Darling. Couldn't be simpler. After that, it was just a question of sending a call for reinforcements and unlocking the door from the inside."
"Damn! I should've been more careful!" Bob growled. "That's a rookie mistake..."
"How did she know about the infected games?" I protested.
"I know many things, Little Spritelet. More than you ever will, I can assure you. And as much as I am enjoying your efforts to entertain me, I weary of these explanations. So I'll be refreshingly blunt - Daemon's control is extensive - she already dominates most of the net. Your precious Collective was only the hors' d'oeuvre - she is preparing to dine on the main course now."
I still didn't really understand what was going on, and I was furious to see the effect Hex was having on Bob and Dot. Was that all she wanted - to destroy our confidence, make us quit? Why?
"If you know so much, why haven't you shared the information with us?" Dot demanded. "If you aren't helping Daemon-"
"It must have slipped my mind, Pet. I'm telling you now. And I'll offer this advice for free - if you want to beat her, you must destroy her. You cannot battle the symptoms, Fools - they are killing the patient. You must fight the disease."
"Fight - the disease?" Phong frowned. "You mean - Daemon herself?"
"A gold star for you, Old Sprite! There's hope for you yet!"
"But - _how_, Hexadecimal? Just how are we supposed to do battle with Daemon? She isn't even here!" Bob snarled.
"My Dear Boy - how many systems have a virus of my genius working on their behalf? You just leave that to me!" Hex cooed. She started laughing, and she kept laughing for nanos. It was one of the scariest sounds I ever heard.
Bob had sensed something was bothering him - Enzo knew it. Why not, he'd been acting totally low-res for cycles. Even the game hadn't been able to shake him out of his funk. As if that weren't bad enough, he'd messed up in the game, too - nothing major, but he could tell Bob had been disappointed.
"Wanna stop at Al's and get a shake?" Bob asked him as they zipped through level 31.
"Naw - I'm cool." the youngster replied, forcing a smile. "Let's just head back, OK?"
"Sure, Champ." Enzo knew that it was coming - they always stopped off for a shake after the game. Bob was probably getting pretty worried. "Enzo, is something bothering you? You hardly seemed to enjoy the game at all. What's the matter?"
"Nothin', I'm fine." the boy sighed, as Baudway came into view in the distance. He knew Bob only wanted to help, but he wished the Guardian would let it drop. How could Bob help him - how could he ever admit to Bob that a bad dream had taken him offline? That he was still seeing it in his head, cycle after cycle...
"Whoa, there." Bob grabbed him by the shoulders, practically pulling him off his zip board. "What's your hurry? I think we should talk, don't you?"
"Sure." Enzo smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, Bob - I know I slipped up today. I won't let it happen again, I promise..."
"Hey - no big deal." Bob grinned. "You know that whatever's bothering you, you can talk to me about it - right? You know I'm gonna be here if you need me?"
"Sure. Thanks, Bob."
"So what's up? If you're worried about that game today, don't think I'm mad at you or anything-"
"Naw - I know." Enzo said softly. "I'm cool, Bob - I promise. Maybe I'm just a little tired from my birthday and stuff..."
"That was cycles ago! Listen, Kiddo - if we're gonna be partners, we're gonna have to be honest with each other."
"Sure." ~I wonder what he'd say if I asked him about making me a cadet...~
"Good." Bob said softly, staring directly into Enzo's eyes. "Now, listen - whatever's bothering you, I'm here to help - but only if you'll let me. But you need to remember - in a game, one little slip-up can get everybody deleted. That means if you have a problem, you have to leave it outside. I want to help you, but if you don't want to share, that's your choice - you just can't take your problems into the games."
~How could I even think about being a cadet? He's right!~ Enzo mused bitterly. ~I'm still a little baby!~ "I'm sorry, Bob! I didn't mean to-"
"Hey! I don't need an apology." Bob chuckled. "Don't feel bad about it, Tiger - just let me know you understand what I'm talking about."
"I understand. Promise."
"Good. Everybody makes mistakes. We all have bad cycles. Just try and make sure you're totally online when you're in a game - with or without me. Got it?"
"Sure." Enzo nodded. "I'm really sorry..."
"I told you - no sorrys!" Bob grinned. "Just get a little better every cycle - that's all I ask. And you haven't let me down yet - I'm sure you aren't gonna start now."
"Thanks, Bob!" Enzo smiled.
"Sure. Now - you wanna talk about what's bothering you, or not?"
Enzo sighed. He _did_ wanna talk about it, he realized that now. He needed to talk about it - but Bob wasn't the right sprite. Not this time. "Thanks a gigabyte, Bob - you're the best! But I just need some time by myself and I'll be OK."
"You sure?" the Guardian frowned.
"I'm sure. Thanks, Bob. And I'll be totally high-density in the next game. I swear - sprite's honor!"
"OK, Kiddo." Bob sighed. "You're the boss. C'mon, let's go down to the P.O and see your sister..."
"Are the firewalls in place, Child?"
"They're locked and loaded, Phong - for all the good they'll do us." Dot sighed. "I wish Hex would get off her ASCII and help us if she really plans to go through with it..."
"I am certain she will, Child - if only for her own amusement." Phong frowned. "I believe that Bob was correct - our viral neighbor may very well be bored, with no brother to feud with."
"I'm not reassured. And where's Mouse? She's better at this sort of thing than either of us. You'd think she'd be here with bells on as soon as we go under the hood and start tinkering."
"Indeed, Young Dot. Ah! Our Guardians have returned from the fields of battle. I trust all went well, my friends?"
"Couldn't be better, Phong. Pretty routine." Bob nodded.
"Welcome back, you two." Dot smiled. She repressed a frown when she saw Enzo - he still didn't look right. She knew him better than anyone. "You two got back here awfully quickly."
"Enzo was in a hurry - couldn't even tempt him with an Al's shake." Bob chuckled. He met her glance over the youngster's shoulder and shrugged.
"Not thirsty, huh?" She walked over to Enzo and ruffled his hair. "Are you feeling all right? Seems like your turbo switch has been off for days-"
"I'm fine!" Enzo said, a little irritably. "Thanks, Dot..."
"Sure?" The Command.Com put a palm to Enzo's forehead. "Your cooling fan seems to be working all right..."
"I'm fine." he sighed.
It was odd - usually, Enzo told her when he had a problem. They'd been each other's sole support system for so long, there were few secrets between them. ~Maybe he's just getting to that age.~ she thought to herself. Still, she didn't like it a bit. "How was the game - good?"
"We won." the youngster smiled weakly. "It was cool..."
"Cool." A flash of inspiration struck her. "Enzo, are you still upset about the other night-" She stopped, as the boy shook his head almost imperceptibly and looked pleadingly at her. She knelt next to him. "What is it, Enzo?"
Enzo leaned close to her nervously. "Don't tell Bob about that, OK? Please?" he whispered.
"Enzo-"
"Please!" he whispered. "Just don't mention it, okay?"
"OK." she whispered back. "Promise. Even though I think it's silly." He smiled in relief. "So you're OK?" she said in a normal voice.
"Yeah. Um - is Matrix around? I thought I might talk to him for a nano."
"He's helping out at the Diner."
"I think I'm gonna head over there. See you guys later." The boy waved to the others and headed for the exit.
"Bye, Enzo." Bob frowned. When the boy was out of earshot, he turned to Dot. "What was that all about?"
"It's nothing. He's a little upset about something, but he doesn't want me to talk about it." Dot sighed. "He'll be fine."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Phong asked, bridging his fingers contemplatively.
"No, it's no big file. He'll be all right." Dot smiled. "Thanks."
"I wish he'd talk about it." Bob sighed. "It's not like him to keep stuff bottled up like that."
"He's getting older... He's just not going to come to me all the time any more. I've got to get used to it." Dot said softly. "You know, it's strange. It seems like whenever Enzo is upset about something, Matrix is too - have you noticed? He hasn't been exactly high-res lately either."
"Not so strange I think, Child." Phong mused.
Enzo felt the familiar churning in his stomach as he approached the diner. It was weird how Matrix always brought out opposing feelings in him, all at once. He was a little afraid of him, even still - yet sometimes he felt more at home with the big sprite than anyone - even Dot. He found himself angry at him and sorry for him, all at once. And he hated him sometimes, even at the same nano that he loved him. It was weird...
The fear was winning out as the boy entered the diner. He knew Matrix would be mad, and that was a little scary. But there were things he had to know. For once, he was glad to see that AndrAIa wasn't around - it would make things easier. Matrix was behind the counter, polishing the shake machine and humming to himself.
"Nano, nano, nano, nano, nano, nano, nano, nano, Codemaster..." The big sprite looked up. "Oh, hey, Bro. Haven't seen you for a couple of cycles. What's processing?"
"Not much." Enzo forced a smile, sitting down at the bar across from his older self. "Helpin' out Dot, huh?"
"Well, she works hard." the big sprite grinned, giving Enzo's cap a spin. "Besides, it's not like my services are in great demand..."
The youngster frowned at that remark, but pressed on, anxious to do so before his nerve gave out. "Cool. Uh - can we talk, for a nano? Man to man?"
Matrix raised an eyebrow. "Sure - if you want. What's on your mind?"
"In the kitchen?" Matrix frowned, then shrugged. The boy lithely hopped over the bar and followed the big sprite inside the galley. "Cecil can handle the diner for a nano..."
"OK. What's up, Kid?" Matrix asked, leaning up against a refrigeration unit.
Enzo pulled up a stool and sat across from his twin. "Thanks, y'know, for talking to me. It's just that there's been something kinda on my mind. I was hoping we could talk about it."
Matrix was a little taken aback by the boy's uncharacteristically somber tone. "Are you all right, Enzo? Are you in trouble or something?"
"Naw, I'm not in trouble. For a change." Enzo giggled. He struggled for the right words, but none came. He felt the fear building in him again. Matrix was just so big! And that temper...
"So what is it then? You know you can tell me anything..."
"Thanks!" Enzo sighed. All or nothing... "Enzo, I need you to tell me about... you know. What happened..."
"Whaddaya mean?" Matrix frowned. "What happened?"
"Yeah. To you..."
"What happened to me? What do you mean?"
"All of it. The game. You know - _the_ game. With Andri. And your eye, and-"
"Enzo!" Matrix snarled. "That's none of your concern!"
"Please!" Enzo pleaded. "I want to know. I need to know! I have to know what it was like, how it felt. It's important..."
"You don't want to know, believe me!" the big sprite said in a low voice.
"I have to!" Enzo protested. "I can't tell you why, but I just know it's important. Please!"
"This is stupid!" Matrix growled, starting for the door. Enzo sprung to his feet and grabbed his arm with both hands. "Let go!"
"_Please_ don't leave!" Enzo begged. "It's me, Matrix! I need to know! You can tell me, it's OK-"
Matrix shook his arm free, nearly causing the youngster to lose his balance. "What do you know about it? You're just a little kid! How could you possibly understand?"
"Fine - I'm a little kid. But I can understand! Gimme a chance!"
Matrix clenched his fists, trying to restrain his anger. "You don't know what you're doing, Boy. You don't know what you're talking about. Just drop it!"
"No! I won't!" Enzo shouted. "You don't understand! It's my life too! I need to know!"
"Why do you need to know?"
"I just _do_, OK? I have to know what it was like. What it felt like. I have to know! I have to understand what it was like in the net, in the games-"
"Games, games, games!" Matrix sneered. "Is that all you care about, Boy? Your life is here - your family is here! You'll lose them to the games if you keep this up! Can't you understand?"
'Tell me!" the boy pleaded. "Tell me what happened to you! Why you - why you changed..."
"You...don't... want...to... know!" Matrix growled. Enzo took a step back, in spite of himself. "You're stupid, Boy - just like I was! You're gonna make the same stupid mistakes I did all over again!" Matrix advanced towards him, glowering.
"N-no!" Enzo quavered. "I'm not afraid of you! You'd never hurt me-"
"You don't know what I'd do, Enzo. You're making a very serious mistake. Just drop this right now and never bring it up again-"
"I'll never drop it. I have to know. I have a right to know! I'll bother you, bug you until you tell me-"
"A right?" Matrix laughed bitterly. "You're nothing but a backup, Kid - what right do you have to demand anything from me?"
Enzo recoiled and blinked back a tear. With a furious effort of will he pushed back the ones that threatened to follow it. He locked eyes with the big sprite and wouldn't let go. "I know I'm just a backup. But I'm here. And I want to know what happened. Please - tell me!"
Matrix shook his head angrily and said nothing for several nanos. Finally, he banged a fist on the refrigeration unit, hard, causing the boy to jump. "You want to know, huh? Do you?"
"Yes." Enzo whispered.
Matrix strode over to him and shot his arms out. Enzo flinched and closed his eyes, but didn't move as the bearded sprite grabbed his shoulders roughly and knelt next to him, on one knee, his face close enough so that Enzo could feel every breath. "I'll tell you, then. I was a little kid, just like you. Bob was gone, and Megabyte was laying waste to the whole scragging system. I was the only defender we had, and I was so stupid I thought I could handle it. Wanna hear more?"
Enzo nodded silently. "Fine. I won a few games, nothing too difficult. Thought I was real tough. Then I got into a real game, against a real User. I lost. You know how? He took a steel blade and he gouged my eye out. You wanna know how that felt?"
"N-no..."
"It felt like every fire from hell sticking straight into my brain. That's how it felt. I could feel my eye running down my cheek. The you want to know what happened? He reached down and he crushed my head. He ripped it completely off of my body. I didn't feel much of that, not after the first nano. But AndrAIa had to see it. She had to watch it happen...
You want to understand? It might have well have been my heart. I wished he'd killed me. If AndrAIa and Frisket hadn't been there I wouldn't have bothered switching to game sprite mode - I would have died right then. How do you like it so far?"
"M-Matrix..." Enzo whispered. The tears were coming unchecked now.
"Well, I didn't die. But I wished I had. I failed everyone I loved. Because of me Mainframe was wasted, and AndrAIa and Frisket had to spend their lives game-hopping just to survive. Dot was all alone, and she thought I was dead. I cried every cycle, for milliseconds at a time. For minutes. That's what it was like. And that was only the beginning."
"I'm s-sorry! I d-didn't know-"
"You wanna know about game-hopping, too? That was a treat - going from system to system, sometimes I had to play the same deleted game thirty times before I could get out of it. Knowing that my home and my family were being destroyed, and I couldn't do anything about it. Couldn't even get back home. Didn't even know if there'd be a home to get back to. And I did it for longer than you've been alive - how's that? Cycle after cycle, game after game. Over and over and over and over and over-"
"Stop!" Enzo sobbed.
"And then there was the guilt, Enzo - living with what had happened. Thinking every day about how I'd failed everyone I loved and doomed them all. Doomed them all by my stupid cockiness. My arrogance, thinking I was a real Guardian when I was just a weak little boy."
"Stop!" Enzo pleaded again. The big sprite kept his fierce grip on his shoulders.
"Don't you want to know about what I did out there, Enzo - what I did to survive? Don't you want to hear about the sprites I deleted? Don't you want to know about the times I walked away from people who needed help? Don't you wanna know about how all grown-up I was?"
"Please, stop! You're hurting me..."
"What - you've had enough - already?" Matrix laughed bitterly. "Well, you just had to listen to it, Boy - I had to live it! But you had to know, so I told you. So you can just keep doing what you're doing, playing games. But just remember there's consequences to it, Enzo. And don't think Bob's always gonna be there to protect you. That's what I thought! Don't let him try to tell you it can't happen..." The big sprite had tears on his own cheeks, now. "Don't let him try to tell you..."
Enzo could barely see, and he felt his chest heaving as he tried to control his sobs. "That's horrible!" he whispered. "I'm sorry, Matrix!" He reached his arms out blindly, found Matrix's neck and fell against him. "I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault..."
The bearded sprite angrily wiped his cheeks and stared down at the top of Enzo's head, resting against his shoulder. He could hear the boy's muffled sobs. His hands didn't seem to know what to do with themselves, alternatively reaching for the youngster, then pulling back, clenching into fists and unclenching.
"You d-did the best you could." Enzo rasped. "You tried your best, didn't you? Bob didn't-"
"Just stop!" Matrix hissed. He gently but firmly pushed the boy away from him. "You shouldn't mess with things you're not ready to handle, Enzo. It's dangerous for a little boy to think he's a man. Don't kid yourself." He stood and strode towards the door.
"No! Don't go!" Enzo cried. The big sprite paused for a nano, then departed, leaving Enzo alone in the kitchen, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Matrix!" he screamed, as loud as he could, startling the few patrons scattered though the diner. But the big sprite was gone.